Original subtitles

- Good morning. - Hi.

Hi.

Marstow's the name.

Will it be ready by 5? I wanna wear it this evening.

Oh, no problem.

Oh, this spot.

Can you get it out? I think it's coffee.

I don't know.

Coffees are hard to get.

Okay, thank you. See you around 5.

WAVERLY: Rogers, the dossier please?

- Thank you. - Yes, sir.

That meant the sensors on the package are reacting.

Apparently, they've sprayed it with a substance...

...to amplify any sounds inside the package.

U.N.C.L.E. will discover it's a bomb.

[DEVICE HUMMING]

Two minutes.

That's the file on the latest Thrush operation.

And we're adding to it by the moment.

A molecutronic gun?

It works on a principle not unlike that of the laser.

Yes, and I need hardly point out the serious consequences...

...if Thrush should succeed in stealing it.

And these messages?

From Thrush itself.

We've succeeded in breaking their most recent radio code.

Bomb Control.

Stand by for possible demolition procedure.

[ALARM BEEPING]

Demolition unit at the ready.

Mr. Kuryakin is on his way down.

Total immersion.

They've enclosed the bomb in steel mesh.

That won't stop it.

Twenty-nine seconds.

Bomb is now at 40-foot level. Stand by for detonation.

We've done it.

We've blown up U.N.C.L.E. Headquarters.

No. The bomb detonated on schedule.

But it was under 40 feet of water.

At best, we've wet the feet of a few U.N.C.L.E. agents.

[GRUNTS]

I told Central it wouldn't work.

There is only one way to destroy that fortress.

And that is by getting U.N.C.L.E. to help us.

All stations, the bomb alert is over.

Return to normal duties.

Bravo, Mr. Kuryakin, well done.

Well, now, gentlemen, where were we before we were so taken...

...to that minor annoyance?

The, uh, molecutronic gun.

Ah, yes.

Well, that's all the background information we have.

The weapon is being developed by Febray Electronics in Brooklyn.

A test will be conducted for the Army this afternoon.

Mr. Solo, make contact and take charge immediately.

Yes, sir.

You, Mr. Kuryakin, you hold yourself in readiness.

I rather suspect you'll be involved in this before it's all over.

Well, one thing is certain.

Thrush must not be allowed to get that molecutronic gun.

Hi, I'm from the Argo Corporation. I want to check the air conditioning.

Oh, sorry, buddy, you got the wrong place.

The company handles its own maintenance.

Hey, wait a second. There's gotta be something wrong.

Got a work order.

Okay.

- Hey, hey. Hey, hey. - Hm?

SOLO: Hm.

No offense.

[ALARM RINGING]

[ALARM STOPS]

Whoever set off the alarm, he couldn't have gotten past the voltage trap.

Very observant. This way, gentlemen. Right in here. Put your guns down.

Step it up.

Thank you.

MAN: Open the pressure manifold.

We've got to synchronize the wave patterns.

Someone set off Security Nine. Go and see if they're still alive.

Thank you for opening the door.

SOLO: Hold it.

Just sit down and relax, Dr. Febray. Both of you, over there.

FEBRAY: I don't know what you're after-- - Terribly obvious booby trap at the door.

All I had to do was stand aside and let it discharge.

As a matter of fact, all of your security arrangements are inadequate.

I'll be happy to show you how to improve them.

Now, just who are you?

I'm Napoleon Solo from U.N.C.L.E.

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

[RINGING CONTINUES]

FEBRAY: All right, Mr. Solo, you've made your point.

You've undermined my security guards.

Now would you mind telling me how you know...

...that Thrush intends to steal my invention?

How is not really important. Let's just do something about it.

Oh, incidentally, there are two guards outside in the uniform closet.

I suggest you better release them.

Go ahead, please.

GENERAL: What is going on here? You've got a man sleeping at his post.

If he were in the Army, he'd be court-martialed and shot.

- What kind of security have you got here? - Now just a moment.

Your explanation had better be good, really good.

Excuse me, general.

Would you please put your attach� cases on the table there, both of you?

On the table.

Since there was no guard outside to check your credentials...

...I'd like to see them.

Would you hand them slowly to Dr. Febray?

- Now what do you think you're--? SOLO: Please.

What is going on here?

This is Mr. Solo from U.N.C.L.E.

Now may I see your credentials?

Generals Blaines and Wallace. I've been expecting them.

- Now may we--? - Not yet.

Excuse me.

Open Channel S, please.

MAN [ON RADIO]: Washington.

This is Solo, Section Two.

I'd like you to check on the a location of two generals, Blaines and Wallace.

Stand by. We're checking.

This is totally unnecessary.

Blaines and Wallace left Washington in a.m. for New York.

Mission classified, but we can get it.

No, that won't be needed. Thank you very much.

Uh, now, general, as you were saying about security.

All right. Let's get on with the test, shall we?

Open the vault, please.

Now you gentlemen realize, of course, that lab tests can only give a hint...

...as to the potential of the molecutronic gun.

Well, we'll arrange for the field testing in due course.

So this is the weapon that's going to make all field artillery obsolete.

It's hard to believe.

Well, as I recall, general, some Army men swore...

...that the tank could never replace the horse.

Just how does it work?

Well, I won't try and explain the theory.

But when activated...

...a beam of amplified light is emitted from here.

When the light touches anything, it causes such a violent activation...

...of that object's own molecules...

...that within a matter of seconds the target explodes.

[SOLO SIGHS]

Pleasant nap, Mr. Solo?

Well, it's always pleasant to wake up and discover that you're still alive, general.

[SOLO CLEARS THROAT]

Of course, you're not a general.

No. Uh, the pay isn't high enough.

[SOLO CHUCKLES]

General Blaines and General Wallace were, uh, tied up, so we took their places.

Mm. And you're from Thrush.

- Of course. SOLO: Mm-hm.

Well, you got the molecutronic gun. Why do you need me?

Are you, uh, suggesting that we simply kill you, Mr. Solo?

Oh, no, no, no. You can just let me off at the next bus stop.

Well, since you were on hand, I thought you might like...

...to observe the field trials of the gun.

I can guarantee you the best seat in the house, since you'll be the target.

SOLO: Hm.

[CLICK]

You're in considerable danger.

With your approval, we'd like to put you under protective custody.

You what?

You're locking the proverbial barn door after the horse is gone.

Thrush has the molecutronic gun.

WAVERLY: And if they kill you, they'll have a monopoly on it.

FEBRAY: I am not going to sit around here...

...while you go through the motions of protecting me.

Now, you knew, you knew that Thrush wanted the gun.

But that didn't stop them from getting it.

Well, perhaps, doctor, we'll have better luck with you.

In any event, the safety of the world demands that we try.

[RADIO BEEPING]

Kuryakin here.

We have a lead on Solo.

We're getting signals from the homing device in his tie tack.

Do you have an accurate fix?

Not yet, but we hope to have it shortly.

This is Waverly here.

Once the fix is established...

...contact all spotter stations to pinpoint the location.

And relay all information directly to me in my car.

Yes, sir.

Will you please see that Dr. Febray's safety is assured?

Good day, sir.

[HOMING DEVICE BEEPING]

We're getting closer.

[BEEPING INTENSIFIES]

The signals are coming from over there.

Mr. Solo seems to have lost his tie tack.

I hope the same can't be said of his life.

I take it the accommodations are satisfactory.

The devil with accommodations.

And these childish games, passing me off as a shah.

I once passed myself off as a Tibetan lama.

[FEBRAY SCOFFS]

Has Mr. Solo been found?

- Not yet. - I was afraid of that.

Now, listen, Kuryakin, I want--

Dr. Febray, I need your cooperation.

Your molecutronic gun emits beta rays.

This can detect those rays several miles off.

Once I get a reading--

If you'll get a reading.

Listen, U.N.C.L.E. must have a way of getting a message to Thrush.

Tell them I'll pay millions to get my invention back.

- They wouldn't be interested. - Make the offer.

They'd take your money and then kill you.

Now, please, let's do it my way.

Only you know the wavelengths of your molecutronic gun.

Please set these gauges to correspond exactly with those wavelengths.

That should do it.

Thank you.

I only hope you get a chance to use it.

WAVERLY: The breaking of the Thrush code, Mr. Kuryakin...

...seems to be paying off extremely well.

The latest message we've intercepted calls for a rendezvous of their agents here.

ILLYA: Vinegar Wells.

WAVERLY: Yes.

It's a, uh, desert community.

But that's only the rendezvous point.

From there, the Thrush agents have been directed to proceed to a testing area.

For the molecutronic gun?

Oh, undoubtedly.

But until we find that testing area, U.N.C.L.E. can't launch a full-scale attack.

So find that testing area, Mr. Kuryakin.

Yes, sir.

Am I disturbing you?

Just help yourself. Self service.

Oh.

Is this Vinegar Wells?

Yep. Ha, ha.

If you'd gone five feet more, you'd have been out of it.

You prospecting?

Last couple of days, a lot of men and equipment...

...have been heading for the desert.

Rumor is that they're digging around the old ghost town.

- Ghost town? - Yep.

Ain't on the map, but if you go out 20 miles...

...and then turn on the old wagon trail about 10 mile more...

...why, you'll be in it.

Might be worth trying.

Yeah, maybe.

I'll take a look at it.

That's, uh, 1.94.

Whoa, I ain't got 6 cents.

Can't you just squeeze a couple more drops into the tank?

Oh, that's all right. Keep the change.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Kuryakin's on his way.

[DEVICE HUMMING]

Open Channel D, please. Can you hear me?

[RADIO STATIC BUZZING]

I think I've located the molecutronic gun.

Signal if you can hear me.

[RADIO STATIC BUZZING]

I'm getting interference on this end, probably from the beta rays.

Hello?

Can you hear me?

This is hardly the test of an ultra-modern weapon.

BARNES: I am certain it will get the desired effect.

[EXPLOSION]

[MAN SCREAMS]

[GRUNTING]

Ah, Mr. Kuryakin, how nice of you to drop in.

My apologies for the hanging.

- It may have seemed rather crude to you. - It achieved the desired results.

Brought me out into the open.

Exactly.

And you've arrived just in time for the field test of the molecutronic gun.

As I promised, Mr. Solo will have the honor of being its first target.

BARNES: All spotters, stay alert.

Target 13-B for Baker.

We're ready, Mr. Solo.

All you have to do is run.

Fire.

Fire.

Fire.

Fire.

Fire.

Fire.

Fire.

Fire.

Fire.

Fire.

Hold your fire.

He must have been blasted right over the edge.

Want us to go down and check?

Nobody could have survived that fall.

We'll repeat the same test with Mr. Kuryakin as soon as--

Something's wrong.

Well, the trajectory control, the circuitry has been damaged.

You've gained a little living time.

But have this fixed as soon as possible.

Sir, I-- Well, the guidance factors are pretty sophisticated.

And, uh, well, I'm not sure we can fix this.

The inventor of the gun, Dr. Febray. Perhaps if we got him out here.

You're quite right.

But I can't imagine that Mr. Kuryakin would care to tell us where he's hidden.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

[BIRDS SQUAWKING]

That is only the beginning, Dr. Febray.

You'll eventually tell us, so why not save yourself a lot of agony?

Why not save yourself a lot of agony?

Let us make a deal.

Of course.

Just tell us how to fix the molecutronic gun and you can go free.

Let me go with the gun.

I'll pay 10 million.

[LAUGHING]

Ten million?

My dear Dr. Febray...

...Thrush will make 100 times that amount just by using the weapon.

[BARNES GRUNTS]

BARNES: Get Kuryakin out of here.

Before I am finished, Febray will beg to tell me all I wanna know.

Miss?

Miss, uh....

Hey, I-- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to--

[SCREAMS]

- Hey, don't--! Cut it out. - Get off of me!

- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. - Well, you are hurting me.

Yeah, well, I didn't mean to. Listen, listen, I-- I--

Stop trying to kill me, will you? I didn't mean to frighten you.

Well....

I'm sorry, but-- But you did.

Look, I don't know exactly where I am, and I've got to make a phone call.

It's very important.

You been in an accident?

Yeah, in a manner of speaking, uh....

Could you drive me to where the nearest telephone might be?

Well, the car won't go.

I don't know what happened. Last night, it just conked out on me.

Last night?

Conked out? Let me take a look.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

Well, ahem, you're out of gas.

How far are we from anywhere?

Well, the nearest town is about 20 miles, Vinegar Wells.

I'm from Gossamer Flats. That's almost 40 miles.

How did you get stuck here?

I had a fight with my boyfriend at the country club.

I just had to get away.

Well, you sure got away, no doubt about that.

I suppose someone will be coming for you pretty soon, huh?

I don't think so.

When I left the club, I told may dad I was spending the night at my girlfriend's ranch.

Oh. Is that near here?

It's 10 miles past Vinegar Wells.

All right, I'll tell you what you'll do. You just get back in the car, relax.

I'm sure someone will come for you eventually.

- Listen, I want you to make a telephone-- - But what if nobody comes?

I mean, for days, I could--

I could die of starvation, exposure, snakebite, or something.

I mean, where are you going?

I've still got some business back where I came from.

Oh, please take me with you.

Well, look, it's more dangerous going back there...

...than it is for you to stay here.

You see, there are some people back there that, uh....

- Well, they're trying to kill me. - Kill you?

Yeah, and they're still trying, so, uh....

If I can come back, I will. All right, don't worry.

Well, that's a great promise. I mean, what if you don't get back?

I'll just be somebody you left to die.

All right, come along.

[FEBRAY PANTING]

I'm sorry, Kuryakin. I broke.

- I didn't mean to, but-- - It's all right.

How long do we have before the gun is ready for testing again?

Oh, 10, 15 minutes.

But that's time enough for our escape, isn't it?

Well, it's not very much time.

During the fight I started, I grabbed these.

Acid.

When they're mixed, they explode.

I always say when you're locked in an escape-proof room...

...it's good to have a physicist with you.

Now, the two bottles must break simultaneously.

We need something to fix them against the door.

Some mud. Ah.

A rock.

All right, hide. Keep your face away.

I'm gonna get my hands on the molecutronic gun.

But first of all, we have to deal with those two.

[GUARD KICKING DOOR]

[GUARD GRUNTS]

[FEBRAY GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTS]

[WOMAN GROANS]

[WOMAN SIGHS]

I can't go any further, Napoleon.

All right, ahem, you rest and relax.

Maybe it'll be safer for both of us if I go the rest of the way alone.

Will you be all right? What about those men?

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Now, if I'm not back in a couple of hours, try to make your way back to your car.

And, uh, let's hope we're both lucky, all right?

Okay.

[HISSING NEARBY]

Aah! Hey, wait for me, Napoleon, I changed my mind!

- What's the matter? - There was a snake.

A snake?

[SCREAMS]

WOMAN: What kind of crazy place to string a wire.

Is that dynamite?

It is indeed.

Well, what's it doing out here?

I think I know.

I think we're going to have visitors soon.

Get a load up.

[GUNFIRE]

[FEBRAY GRUNTS]

Oh, you go ahead, go ahead.

I can't--

[GASPS]

All conferences on this matter will be meaningless.

Mr. Waverly, Mr. Kuryakin is calling.

Well, Mr. Kuryakin, what have you found?

ILLYA: I have the gun, sir.

Very well.

U.N.C.L.E. will cover your return every inch of the way.

What of Mr. Solo?

Mr. Solo is dead too, sir.

Are you quite sure, Mr. Kuryakin?

Yes, I saw him killed.

Very well.

You proceed to the nearest airport.

An escort squad of U.N.C.L.E. agents will be on its way within minutes.

Yes, sir.

- Any luck out there? - Yeah, all bad.

[ENGINE STARTS]

WAVERLY [ON RECORDING]: Well, Mr. Kuryakin, what have you found?

Mr. Solo.

How pleasant to see you still alive, and with a charming young lady as well.

I believe you've met my superior...

...Dr. Febray.

Good afternoon, Mr. Solo.

Testing my security arrangements again?

What are they going to do to us?

Report.

OLD MAN [ON RADIO]: Kuryakin is on his way to headquarters with the gun.

FEBRAY: Good. Now what about the young woman?

Her story checks out. Abbe Melton, Gossamer Flats.

No possible connection with U.N.C.L.E.

Report received.

I told you. Now you can let me go.

No, I'm afraid not, my dear.

So the whole thing was a fake, wasn't it?

The broken Thrush code, getting us to lead you Illya here, and you let him escape.

Even the molecutronic gun. That's a fake?

You're rather close, Mr. Solo.

But not a fake, just not a gun.

Rather, a highly sophisticated bomb...

...which Mr. Kuryakin will innocently carry into U.N.C.L.E. Headquarters.

- Good afternoon, Mr. Kuryakin. - Mm.

Uh, I--

I heard about Mr. Solo.

Check this, please.

I have a very special treat for you, Mr. Solo.

I am going to allow you to witness the final stage in my plan...

...to destroy U.N.C.L.E. Headquarters.

Right through to the last digit in the countdown.

So far, so good.

No reaction to the alarm devices.

I didn't expect any. It's not a bomb.

I see. Okay, thank you.

The device contains no active demolition mechanism.

We can go ahead, gentlemen.

You may begin analysis procedures.

It's begun.

WAVERLY: Mr. Kuryakin...

...in as much as your scientific skill won us this prize...

...you do the honors.

ILLYA: Yes, sir.

[SNAPS]

Thank you.

The mechanism will be ready to be triggered...

...when the last bolt is removed from the inner casing.

It'll be detected.

Oh, no, Mr. Solo, the triggering is done remotely.

The bomb will send me a signal when it is ready.

Then all I need do is pull this lever.

And within seconds, the bomb will explode.

Febray to antenna tower. Antenna tower.

Increase your amplification. Circuit signals are weakening.

Signal at peak, hold it steady.

Only a few moments more.

[WHISPERING] Abbe.

Abbe.

I want you to faint.

Faint, faint.

[WHISPERING] I'm too scared.

Fake it.

BARNES: Shut up.

Go.

[SCREAMS]

[ABBE SCREAMING]

FEBRAY: Lock them in the vault.

His radio.

Can you get help?

Maybe.

Thrush uses a different frequency than ours.

Do you have a hairpin?

- A hairpin? - Yeah.

- No. - Anything with a sharp point?

Hey, the tips of your shoelace.

No, that's too large.

- Wait, turn around. - Hm?

Turn around.

Okay, turn back.

I think I've got it.

Yeah.

Open Channel D.

Channel D come in. Solo to U.N.C.L.E.

Can't they hear you?

Channel D, Solo to U.N.C.L.E.

Signal if you're receiving me.

Repeat, the molecutronic gun is a bomb.

Are you receiving me?

- I don't think I'm getting through. - Oh.

An odd message on our channel, sir.

Heavy static, but we've picked up the sender's name.

Solo.

It can't be. Mr. Solo's dead.

[SOLO GARBLED OVER RADIO]

Repeat, a bomb. Can you hear me?

[SOLO GARBLED OVER RADIO]

Let me follow through on it, sir.

Gentlemen, will you continue dismantling this?

There's just one more signal. Bring in Solo and the girl.

A bomb that can be detonated by remote control.

Can you hear me? A bomb.

He was trying to contact U.N.C.L.E.

A game try, Mr. Solo.

But as you can see, you failed.

Now for the final moment.

[ALARM BEEPING]

Demolition unit at the ready.

Going for total immersion.

- Releasing.... - Now.

U.N.C.L.E. Headquarters no longer exists.

[ABBE SCREAMS]

[ABBE SCREAMING]

Solo, drop the gun on the floor or I'll shoot the girl.

[GASPS]

Over there.

Over there.

All right, Abbe, get up.

Abbe, you can get up now.

Solo to U.N.C.L.E. substation D-7.

What's the word on explosion at headquarters?

Yes, a bomb went off.

You don't have any report yet?

Well, check it out. I'll call back in a minute.

[RADIO BEEPING]

SOLO: Hm.

WAVERLY [OVER RADIO]: Mr. Solo, can you hear me?

Mr. Waverly?

The bomb was sent to the demolition tank, and not a second to spare.

We're all right here. Give us your location.

Well, I was hoping that you'd stay in town for a while.

- But I have a date at to the country club. - Oh.

- And I can't wait to get back. - Yeah.

I'm sorry.

- Well, get on with it. - Hm?

Oh, um....

Abbe, Mr. Waverly wanted me to present you with this, uh, medal.

- For bravery under fire. - A medal?

SOLO: Yes.

There you are.

- Napoleon. - That's another part of the ceremony.

- My safety p--? - Yeah, don't ever go anywhere without one.

[LAUGHS]

[ENGLISH SDH]