Original subtitles

WOMAN [OVER TV]: Much more than just a series of small, isolated incidents...

...it's now apparent that an organized criminal element is at work.

And at the moment, business is good.

So good, in fact, that there appear to be no eyewitnesses...

...to any of these crimes.

With complaints ranging from purse-snatching...

...to breaking and entering...

...police switchboards have been swamped...

...with the angry voices of more and more citizens...

...who have fallen prey to the recent surge of crime...

...that continues to plague the city.

Instead of getting better, things have actually gotten worse.

Even more alarming is the baffling...

...and often bizarre nature of these crimes.

Merchandise of every size and description...

...from skateboards to stereo systems...

...has been disappearing from store shelves and storage areas...

...at an alarming rate.

MAN: Aah...

Even the victims themselves rarely catch a glimpse of the thieves.

Many don't even know they've been victimized until it's too late.

In fact, police have yet to come up with a single eyewitness.

Only a few vague reports...

...of young boys or teenagers at the scenes have been filed.

But whoever is behind these crimes, one thing is certain.

These are much more than just a series of random isolated incidents.

Come on. Hurry up.

Mm.

Good.

Crimes without criminals?

An invisible gang at work?

Who are we gonna call?

Unfortunately, the police are the only ones available...

...to combat what some are already dubbing "the silent crime wave."

But perhaps the most disturbing silence...

...is that coming from city hall.

April O'Neil, Channel 3 Eyewitness News.

MAN: You gotta stop working so hard, April.

APRIL: What, and give up all this glamour? Ha-ha-ha.

- Good night. MAN: Good night.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[RATS SQUEAKING]

[GASPS]

[EXHALES]

[RATTLING]

TEEN 1: Bad timing.

You're telling me.

TEEN 2: Get her purse. Hey, get her purse. APRIL: Get away from me!

- What do you think... Help! TEEN 3: Get herjewelry.

- Hurry up. - Get the money. I got her watch.

[WHIRRING]

[APRIL GROANS, CLANGING]

[RUNNING FOOTSTEPS]

[BLOWS LANDING, TEENS GRUNTING]

TEEN 1: Whoa.

[SIREN WAILS]

[POLICE RADIO CHATTER, CAR DOOR OPENS THEN CLOSES]

[COUGHS]

COP 1: What the hell's going on? Thought I'd seen it all.

COP 2: Ready.

All right. You tough guys.

Roll over here. How did you get yourself into this, huh, kid?

- You all right, ma'am? APRIL: Yeah, I'm fine.

COP 1: Listen, rest right here while we deal with these guys.

[COP 1 TALKS INDISTINCTLY]

COP 1: Ted, give John a hand. COP 2: What you got there?

MALE VOICE: Oh, man.

COP 1: Come on, no fighting.

- Untie me. - Let's get them in the car.

MALE VOICE: Damn.

[LAUGHTER]

MALE VOICE 1: Spectacular.

MALE VOICE 2: We were awesome, bros. MALE VOICE 3: Far out. Ow!

Yes, dudes and dudettes...

...major league butt-kicking is back in town.

MALE VOICES: Oh, yeah.

Awesome.

Ha-ha-ha. Righteous.

Bossa nova!

- What? - Huh?

Bossa nova?

- Chevy Nova? - Oh.

[GROANS]

Excellent.

- Yeah. - All right.

- Come on, let's move it. I'm starving. - Ooh.

Ooh. We're talking major pizza attack here, dudes.

DONATELLO: Pizza. I need it.

Oh, baby.

Oh, man.

LEONARDO: All right.

[TURTLES CHUCKLING]

- Evening, bros. - Whoo!

- Give me three. - You got it.

[ALL CHUCKLING]

We were great. I can't believe it.

Damn!

DONATELLO: All right. Shh, shh.

Ha-ha.

We have had our first battle, Master Splinter.

They were many, but we kicked...

[SPLINTER CLEARS THROAT]

- We fought well. - Mm-hm.

SPLINTER: Were you seen? - Mm-mm.

In this you must never lapse.

Even those who would be our allies would not understand.

Our domain is the shadow.

Stray from it reluctantly.

For when you do...

...you must strike hard and fade away...

...without a trace.

I lost a sai.

- Then it is gone. - But I can get it back. I can.

Raphael, let it go.

[BOTH GRUNT]

SPLINTER: Hey.

[GRUNTS]

Your ninja skills are reaching their peak.

Only one truly important lesson remains, but must wait.

I know it is hard for you here underground.

I want a large thick crust with double cheese...

...ham, pepperoni.

Your teenage minds are broad, eager.

But you must never stop practicing the art of ninja...

...the art of invisibility.

MICHAELANGELO: Oh, but no anchovies.

And I mean no anchovies.

You put anchovies on this thing and you're in big trouble, okay?

Michaelangelo!

That'll do. And the clock's ticking, dude.

[TURTLES CHUCKLING]

You are still young...

...but one day, I will be gone.

Use my teachings wisely.

I suggest we all meditate now...

...on the events of this evening.

[BREATHING DEEPLY]

["TEQUILA" PLAYING]

TURTLES: Yeah.

Yeah.

BOTH: Ninjitsu.

Well, this is like meditating.

Hey, Raph, where you going?

Out to a movie.

That okay with you?

Yeah.

Sock it to me, baby.

- How you doing? - Fine.

DONATELLO: Nice night.

Mm-hm.

Pizza dude's got 30 seconds.

Mm-hm.

Hey, Mikey, did you ever think about what Splinter said tonight?

I mean, about what it would be like...

...you know, not having him?

Hmm.

- Time's up. Three bucks off. - Mm.

Okay.

[GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

[WHISTLES]

Now, 122, 122 and an eighth?

122 and an eighth. Terrific.

Where the heck is 122 and an eighth?

MICHAELANGELO: You're standing on it, dude.

Just slip it down here.

[MAN GRUNTS]

MICHAELANGELO: Give me that.

Hey, this is a 10. The tab's 13.

MICHAELANGELO: You're two minutes late, dude.

Oh, come on. I couldn't find the place.

MICHAELANGELO: Wise man say, "Forgiveness is divine...

...but never pay full price for late pizza."

I gotta get a new route. And I thought I delivered everywhere.

MICHAELANGELO: Yes, friends, the new Turbo Ginsu.

It dices, it slices...

...and yet makes French fries in three different...

Whoops!

Mm. Kids.

[HUMS]

Hmm.

[CHUCKLING]

- There's a joke on the... - I know.

Ugh.

Where do they come up with this stuff?

[PEOPLE CHATTERING, CHUCKLING]

MAN 1: Hey. MAN 2: Hey.

MAN 1: Come back here. WOMAN: Somebody stop them.

[GRUNTS]

- Where's the...? - What?

- Huh? - Huh.

Mm-mm.

BOTH: Whoa.

[THIEVES GRUNT]

What the hell was that?

I don't know.

Now, that was a crime, you purse-grabbing pukes...

...and this is the penalty.

Two minutes for slashing, two minutes for hooking...

...and let's not forget my personal favorite...

...two minutes for high-sticking. THIEF 1: Aah!

How about a five-minute game misconduct for roughing, pal?

Hey, Bogie, now, who died and made you referee?

You did yourjob, now let me do mine.

These JV lowlifes need a lesson.

Not like that they don't.

Not from you.

Well, it looks like you're the one who needs to be taught a lesson, pal.

Class is Pain 101. Your instructor is Casey Jones.

Look, I don't wanna fight you.

Well, tough rocks, pal.

[GRUNTING]

A Jose Canseco bat?

- Tell me you didn't pay money for this. - Ooh.

That's it.

Was a two-for-one sale, pal.

[GRUNTS]

- Hey, what are you, some sort of punker? - Huh?

God, I hate punkers.

Especially bald ones with green makeup...

...who wear masks over ugly faces. - That's it.

- Ooh. - New batter.

CASEY: Strike one.

Whoa. Whiffer.

- Ooh. Uhn! - Home run.

Raphael wins.

One-nothing!

[GRUNTING]

Well?

New game, roundhead.

- Cricket. - Cricket?

Nobody understands cricket.

You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket.

I'll teach you.

- Ooh... - See? Six runs.

[GROANING, GRUNTING]

CASEY: So long, freak. I got work to do.

Freak?

Freak!

[GRUNTS]

What the heck was that?

Looked like sort of a big turtle in a trench coat.

You're going to LaGuardia, right?

RAPHAEL: Come back here.

I'm not finished with you.

Damn!

[DOOR CREAKS]

SPLINTER: Raphael.

Come sit by me.

Couldrt this wait till morning?

You will listen now.

My master Yoshi's first rule...

...was possess the right thinking.

Only then can one receive...

...the gifts of strength, knowledge and peace.

I have tried to channel your anger, Raphael...

...but more remains.

Anger clouds the mind.

Turned inward, it is an unconquerable enemy.

You are unique among your brothers...

...for you choose to face this enemy alone.

But as you face it, do not forget them.

And do not forget me.

[RAPHAEL CRYING SOFTLY]

I am here, my son.

CHARLES: Come on, April, you could've called me last night, you know?

Call it a quirk, but I like to know when one of my best reporters has been mugged.

I wasrt mugged, Charles.

Besides, I knew you'd just worry and then rush over here like you did this morning.

From now on, security is gonna escort you...

...to that Stone-Age van of yours every night.

- Yes, sir. CHARLES: I'm not kidding, April.

APRIL: Ugh. Hey, Danny, how's school going?

- Fine. - Oh, wonderful.

So wonderful I have to drive him there every morning now...

...just to make sure he goes.

See?

That's what he does when he wants to ignore me.

Sticks his head in those things.

[MUSIC PLAYING OVER HEADPHONES, CHARLES SIGHS]

I wonder where the hell he got those things, anyway.

APRIL: Charles, give the kid a break.

[CHARLES SIGHS]

Just what is going on out there, April?

I've never seen anything like this before.

Like the city's falling apart.

It's getting so you can't step outside in the daytime anymore.

APRIL: Well, I'll tell you one thing.

After everything I've heard out of Little Tokyo...

...Sterns is gonna have some answering to do this afternoon.

Look. Just take it easy, okay?

He's already got the mayor breathing down my neck.

We are presently executing a plan of redeployment...

...that will minimize response time...

...while maximizing coordination between patrol units...

...in a decentralized networking scheme.

Huh. I'm not sure I understood all that, Chief Sterns.

Would you mind repeating it...

...in English, perhaps?

What that means, Miss O'Neil, is that we have everything well in hand.

- You know why crimes have been escalating. - Guys, look.

- That's her. - No, I didn't say that either. Miss O'Neil...

...if you would stick to asking questions, there would be a lot...

- Mmm. I'm in love. - What do you know about an organization...

...known as The Foot Clan?

There is no evidence to link such a name to these incidents.

Are you denying that such an organization known as The Foot exists?

I'm not denying anything.

Again, you're putting words into my mouth.

- Find her. - It often seems that somebody ought to.

- Silence her. - Miss O'Neil...

- She's great. - An understatement as usual.

- You're telling me. - The girl is a fox.

MAN [ON TV]: Look at the local weather for this vicinity as it stands at this hour.

STERNS: O'Neil, get in here.

Time me.

Just what is it you hoped to accomplish out there besides busting my chops?

I think you know just as much as I do about this Foot Clan...

...and I don't think you're doing anything about it.

You expect me to waste manpower...

...because a few immigrants are reminded...

...of something that supposedly happened years ago in Japan?

Have you got something else?

Are you trying to tell me how to do my job?

One-oh-seven, a new record.

Oh, great.

Just great.

[SIGHS]

[WHOOSHING, APRIL GASPS]

[IN ASIAN ACCENT] We've been waiting for you, Miss O'Neil.

What?

Am I behind on my Sony payments again? Ha-ha-ha.

Your mouth may yet bring you much trouble, Miss O'Neil.

I deliver a message.

- Hah! - Shut it.

All right. That's it.

[GRUNTING]

[RAPHAEL SCREAMS]

[GRUNTING]

[PANTING]

[RUMBLING IN DISTANCE]

Are you crazy?

Yeah, Leo, I'm crazy. Okay?

A loony. Okay?

DONATELLO: Why?

Why? Why? Oh, I don't know.

Because I wanted to redecorate.

You know, a couple of throw pillows, a TV news reporter.

- What do you think? - Ahem.

SPLINTER: Raphael, what are you doing?

She got jumped in the subway. I had to bring her here.

It's the newslady.

Can we keep her?

- Bring water, cold washcloth, pillow. - Far out.

APRIL: Oh...

[SCREAMING]

Hi.

[ALL SCREAMING]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm dead.

- I'm dead, aren't I? - It's okay.

No, I'm dreaming. I must be dreaming.

Okay. Now, those guys in the black pajamas, they jumped me.

And that rat...

...I saw you in the parking lot. That explains you.

- And you guys... Um... - Hmm?

[WHIMPERING]

...I have no idea where you came from.

If you will please just sit down and calm yourself.

I will tell you where we came from.

It talks.

It is really quite simple, Miss O'Neil.

And he knows my name.

Perfect.

Fifteen years ago...

Why don't I ever dream of Harrison Ford?

[SIGHS]

For 15 years now, we have lived here.

Before that time, I was a pet of my master Yoshi...

...mimicking his movements from my cage...

...and learning the secret art of ninja.

When we were forced to come to New York...

...I found myself for the first time without a home...

...wandering the sewers, scavenging for whatever I could find.

And then, one day...

...I came upon a shattered glass jar...

...and four baby turtles.

- That was us. Heh-heh. - Shut up.

- Oh, no. - Oh.

The little ones were crawling into a strange glowing ooze...

...from a broken canister nearby.

I gathered them up in an old coffee can...

...and when I awoke the next morning, I received a shock...

...for they had doubled in size.

I too was growing, particularly in intellect...

...and I was amazed at how intelligent they seemed.

But nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.

One of them spoke.

Pizza.

More words followed...

...and I began their training...

...teaching them all that I had learned from my master.

Radical. Radical. Radical.

And soon I gave them all names...

...Leonardo...

...Michaelangelo... - That's me.

...Donatello...

...and Raphael.

I'm not dreaming, am I?

No, I'm afraid not.

APRIL: Ew. Are you guys sure you know where you're going?

MICHAELANGELO: 11th and Bleecker?

[SNIFFS]

Nope. This is only 9th Street. Ha.

- Get it? APRIL: Yuck.

Okay.

Ah...

I'd like to invite you all in...

...but I really don't have anything to offer you guys except for frozen pizza.

Let's go for it.

You said the magic word.

- You guys eat pizza? BOTH: Doesrt everybody?

Yeah, well...

...all right.

Hey, did she say pizza?

- So you live in an antique store? - Yep.

Pizza.

Well, above, actually.

What do you guys like on your pizza?

Just the regular stuff.

Flies, stink bugs.

[MANHOLE COVER SLIDES]

It was a joke. Ha-ha.

[ALL LAUGH]

[GRUNTING LIKE A BOXER]

[IMITATING ROCKY] Yeah, well, maybe I'll fight Apollo...

...maybe I won't, you know?

What do you think?

- Adrian! - Ha-ha-ha.

Hey, I got another one.

APRIL: This is totally cool. - Oh, no, not Cagney.

[IMITATING JAMES CAGNEY] Mmm. You dirty rat.

You killed my brother.

You dirty rat. Mmm.

Whoo-hoo. Ha-ha-ha.

That must be Splinter's favorite. Ha-ha-ha.

TURTLES: Huh?

- It was a joke. - Hmm?

[ALL LAUGHING]

And speaking of which, we better get going.

He worries.

Oh. Well, I don't know what to say.

- Will I ever see you guys again? - Indubitably.

That depends on how fast you stock your pizza.

- Deal. - See you around.

- Bye. - Later.

DONATELLO: Ha-ha. No doubt about it. She loved us.

MICHAELANGELO: It was the impressions, dudes.

- You wish. - Hold it.

Splinter.

[CRYING]

[SCREAMS]

APRIL: What's wrong?

Splinter.

[SOBS SOFTLY]

STERNS: 555-5215.

[LINE RINGS]

CHARLES [OVER PHONE]: Hello. - Hello.

Charles Pennington?

Yeah. Who's this?

You got a son named Danny, Charles?

[TURTLES SNORING]

[TURTLES YAWN]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[TURTLES GASP]

Who is it?

CHARLES: It's me, Charles. - It's my boss.

[WHOOSHING]

Can you guys...

...hide?

Charles, what's up?

April...

...listen.

I've... You have been working awful hard on this story lately.

Why don't you take it easy for a while? Just... Just...

Just let somebody else handle it.

Just for a little while, you know?

Charles, what are you talking about? It's my story. No way.

CHARLES: Look at you. You're exhausted.

APRIL: I just had a rough night.

CHARLES: Let somebody else help you cover city hall.

APRIL: Charles, that's ridiculous.

What's with you today?

Nothing's with me today.

I just thought you might like a little help.

Well, I don't.

- Hand me a towel, will you? CHARLES: Where do you keep the towels?

- Charles, no. - What's wrong?

I just... I just don't want you to see my unsightly bathtub ring. Okay?

Just out, out, out.

I have to get ready for work.

Are you sure you won't reconsider some help?

Hey, Danny, will you tell your father to relax?

I wish.

Just don't push any buttons today. Okay?

- That was close. Whoa! - Hah!

Time to switch to decaf, April.

I don't get it, Danny.

I make enough money to provide for both of us and you're stealing.

Why?

- I don't know. - You don't know?

What were you doing with a car stereo anyway?

Or don't you know?

- Sorry. - Sorry?

Not as sorry as you're gonna be after school.

Danny, damn it.

Danny, come back here.

[HORNS HONKING]

[LOUD MUSIC PLAYING]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

BOY 1: How are you doing?

Check it out, man. Anything you guys want, we got it.

Anything you want to do...

...do it. Know what I'm saying? Anything.

You got any cigarettes?

Regular or menthol?

BOY 2: Read them and weep, boys.

- Full house. - Oh, no.

Mmp! Mm-hm.

Go. Play.

BOY 3: All right.

- Hah! - Oh!

- Hah! Hah! - Aah! Ooh!

BOY 4: How's this look?

- Hah! Hah! Hah! - Ooh.

You. Hm!

Mm.

[GRUNTING]

Good.

[GRUNTING]

Never lower your eyes to an enemy.

Yes, Master Tatsu.

[GONG SOUNDS]

MAN: All right.

[CHATTERING]

BOY: Yeah. I am.

Master Shredder.

[GRUNTS]

SHREDDER: Money cannot buy the honor which you have earned tonight.

You make us all proud.

Only effort, discipline, loyalty...

...earn the right to wear the dragon dogi.

You are here because the outside world rejects you.

This is your family.

I am your father.

I want you all to become full members of The Foot.

There is a new enemy...

...freaks of nature who interfere with our business.

You are my eyes and ears. Find them.

Together we will punish these...

...creatures.

These...

...turtles.

BOY: Master.

This is beginning to sound less and less...

...like your common, garden-variety subway mugging.

- Exactly, June. - Boy, she's a good reporter.

- She's a babe. - Organization known as The Foot.

I'm sorry, The Foot?

APRIL: Yeah, I know it sounds like a funky club for podiatrists...

...but I've been speaking with Japanese- Americans in the past few days...

...who say that our crime wave is reminiscent...

...of a secret band of ninja thieves...

...who once operated in Japan.

Are the police looking into this?

I've included everything in my statement...

...but I doubt very much that Chief Sterns...

...is taking this possible connection seriously.

- I see. Well, perhaps if any of our viewers... - Oh, God.

WOMAN: Mr. Pennington, Chief Sterns' office.

- Contact local police or get in touch with us...

STERNS [OVER PHONE]: Pennington, I thought we had a deal!

You still haven't told us how you got away from your attacker.

It's really quite incredible.

Some citizens of New York actually came to my rescue.

Who says everyone in the Big Apple looks the other way?

Seriously, I would like to take this opportunity...

...to thank one of those individuals in particular.

And if he's watching, thanks, Raphael.

[ALL CHUCKLING]

Studly.

Hey, look. Nyak-nyak.

I think he's blushing. Heh.

I am not.

I think he's actually turning red.

[GRUNTS]

- Uh, hmm. Maybe not. - Mm-hm.

So, what do we do now?

- What do you mean, what do we do now? - Splinter's out there somewhere.

I know Splinter's out there.

- Fight? - Fight.

- Kitchen? - Kitchen.

- Yeah. - So, what are we gonna do about it?

LEONARDO: What can we do about it?

April's our only link to these guys.

We have to wait until she comes up with something.

Oh, so that's the plan from our great leader, huh?

Just sit here on our butts.

I never said I was your great leader.

Well, you sure act like it sometimes.

Yeah? Well, you act like a jerk sometimes, you know that?

And this attitude of yours isn't helping anything.

Well, maybe I'll just take my attitude and leave!

- Why don't you? - I will.

- Good. - Great.

Go ahead. We don't need you.

[CHEWING NOISILY]

Pork rind?

Pork rind.

Damn!

Hah!

Ha-ah!

[TUNING]

[GUNSHOT OVER TV]

Go.

Move it, will you?

You're letting him blow right by you.

- Can you believe this guy? - Hmm?

Come on. Don't just...

Ninja-kick the damn rabbit. Do something.

Hey.

- April, hey, you were great. - Thanks, Mikey.

Ho... She called me Mikey.

[CHUCKLING]

Hear anything yet?

Not yet.

They're gonna repeat the interview at 5 and 6.

And we're gonna have to wait and see if it helps generate any new information.

Mmm.

Hey, I told them to call me here immediately...

...if anyone calls the station.

Thanks, April.

We really appreciate, you know, everything.

Yeah.

Hey, forget it.

Where's Raphael?

[RAPHAEL PANTING, GRUNTING]

Well, I was gonna give you guys a tour of the store.

- Shall we go get him? BOTH: No.

- He just needs to blow off some steam. - Yeah.

You guys must be studying the abridged book of ninja fighting.

[GRUNTING]

Come on, come here. Come here.

I mean, come on.

How do you guys expect to beat me?

Good answer.

APRIL: I only keep it open part-time, mostly for my dad.

Heh. He loved junk.

I don't know. It's dumb to lose money on a business...

...just because you miss your father.

LEONARDO: No, it isn't.

Ready?

[GRUNTING]

- This place has everything. - Yup, just about.

Shh.

Eeeee.

Aah!

[GRUNTING]

APRIL: Hasrt Raph been gone a long time?

No. He does it all the time. He likes it.

[GROANING]

Are you sure?

Don't worry. He'll probably be back any minute.

APRIL: Raph!

Is he...?

- No, he's alive. Barely. APRIL: Oh, God.

[YELLING]

- Hey, what the...? MICHAELANGELO: Whoa.

And I thought insurance salesmen were pushy.

[PANTING]

Ohh. A fellow chucker, eh?

What?

Oh-woh-oh. Oh-oh. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. Wah!

[ALL MURMURING]

[GRUNTING]

[HUMMING, GRUNTING]

Oh.

[GRUNTING]

Hmm-hmm.

Hah.

[HUMS]

Keep practicing.

[YELLS]

[GRUNTING]

Take that.

Hey, one of these guys must know where they're holding Splinter.

So don't knock them all out.

I don't think that will be a problem, Leo.

Gotcha.

Hey, Donnie, Wheel of Fortune, dude.

Bisen-tos. Now!

[BOTH LAUGHING]

I guess they're not game show fans.

- And I thought everybody loved Vanna. - Aah! Whoa!

California roll. Ooh.

Oh, what a spaz.

- Missed again. - Good thing they aren't lumberjacks.

No joke.

The only thing safe in the woods would be the trees.

Guys, I'm not so sure if this is, structurally speaking...

...such a good time for your buddies to drop in.

[FLOOR CREAKING]

- Uh-oh. BOTH: Aah!

Oh, whoa. Wipeout.

[TURTLES COUGHING]

- Huh? - Hmm?

- Hmm. - Oh, no.

Mm.

[ALL YELLING]

Ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Oh!

Ooh. Ooh.

Hey, hey, hey.

[PIANO PLAYING RANDOM NOTES]

Hai!

[GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

Man, we could really use Raph right about now.

[CRASH]

[GROWLING]

Now what?

Oh. You guys mind telling me what you're doing to my little green pal over there?

Mm?

Oh, who is the babe?

Who the heck is that?

Wayne Gretzky on steroids?

Attack.

[ALL YELLING, GRUNTING]

Aaa-aaa-aah!

Come on, we got to get out of here.

Help me. There used to be a trapdoor here to the basement.

Yeah, come on, you ugly muggers.

Come on.

We're getting out of here.

CASEY: Gangway, men. I'll take care of these guys.

- You coming? - I'll cover you.

Good idea.

[PHONE RINGS]

APRIL [OVER MACHINE]: Hi, this is April.

- Leave a message after the beep. CASEY: What?

CHARLES: April, it's Charles.

I'm sorry. I don't know how else to say this.

You're fired, April.

I'm sorry. I know this comes as a blow.

- You can say that again, Chuck. - Come on.

Bye, guys, got to run.

[NINJAS GRUNTING]

[SIREN APPROACHING]

Ninja, vanish.

Oh.

[SIRENS WAILING]

[PANTING]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[GRUNTS]

What are these freaks?

How do they know how to fight like this?

You will answer.

Then hang there until you die.

[YELLING, GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

Whoa. Master Tatsu, stop, please, please.

Please, no.

Shinsho.

You'll be all right. You'll be all right.

[SHINSHO COUGHS, GROANS]

How can a face so young wear so many burdens?

So you can talk.

Yes, and I can also listen.

Some say that the path from inner turmoil...

...begins with a friendly ear.

My ear is open...

...if you care to use it. - No, I don't think so.

What is your name?

Danny.

And have you no one to go to, Danny?

No parent?

My dad couldn't care less about me.

I doubt that is true.

Why?

All fathers care for their sons.

[CAR BACKFIRING]

APRIL: How's Raphael? LEONARDO: Not so good.

CASEY: Hey, didn't they use this place in The Grapes of Wrath?

APRIL: Very funny.

I told you, I haven't been up here in years.

[SIGHS]

[ENGINE STARTS]

[CAR BACKFIRES THEN DIES]

Can you fix it?

[IMITATES GUNSHOT]

Does that answer your question?

I mean, the block's got a crack in it the size of the San Andreas.

- Wonderful. - Ah.

Well, I guess I've got some walking to do.

What for?

Our nearest neighbor is about four miles away.

I need to get to a phone, and I need to call my boss.

You mean Charles?

How did you know that?

Well, he left a message on your machine just before we got out.

And?

Well, hey, you just saved yourself an eight-mile round-tripper.

You were fired.

I'm...

- I just saved myself? - Yeah.

- Uh-oh. APRIL: What did you do?

Did you take classes in insensitivity?

- I was just trying to break it to you easy. - Oh, well, you failed miserably.

Hey, Broadzilla, you wouldn't be here if it werert for me, okay?

Oh, and what do you want? Do you want a thank you?

No. It's me who should thank you for that privilege, right?

- Fine. Thank you. - Yeah. No, thank you.

- You're welcome. - You're welcome.

Gosh, it's kind of like Moonlighting, isn't it?

- Heh. - Mm-hm.

[HUMMING "OLD MACDONALD HAD A FARM"

APRIL [IN VOICEOVER]: It's strange being back on the old farm.

Even after all these years, it still feels like home.

My amazing new friends have suffered their first real defeat.

That's bad enough...

...but they've also lost the opportunity to find out about their mentor...

...and I'm sure that hurts them much more than anything else.

Each of them deals with this confusion in his own way.

Donatello has found someone to latch onto.

CASEY: Not even close, zip neck.

The Professor and Mary Ann, happily ever after.

No way, atomic mouth.

Gilligan was her main man.

They'd be married and have six kids by now.

Gilligan was a geek, barfaroni.

- You're the geek, camel breath. - Dome head.

Hmm!

Elf lips.

Let's give this a try, see if this transplant worked, fungoid.

- All right, here it goes. What are we on? - Uh...

- G. - Heh.

Here goes, gack face.

I'm ready, hose brain.

[ENGINE STARTS]

[BOTH YELL]

[WOOD CLATTERS]

It worked. Uh... Hey.

APRIL: Leonardo, meanwhile, has kept a constant vigil with Raphael.

APRIL: He'll be okay.

And then there's Casey Jones...

...a 9-year-old trapped in a mars body.

He might almost be cute if it wasrt for that pigheadedness.

Donatello.

He's out with the others...

...they're exercising.

Doing something together, I don't know.

You want some help?

- Ah. - Hey, I am your man. I am Mr. Fix-it.

All right.

- Let's go. - Lead the way, toots.

- Toots? - Oh... Babe?

Sweetcakes?

Ah! Princess.

Do you want to throw me a clue here? I'm drowning.

You know what? That's okay.

- I'll take care of it myself. - Fine, that's up to you.

Just don't come around here asking for my help anymore.

See, I wouldn't ask for your help...

...if you were the last thing on the face of this planet.

It's coming along nicely.

[SNORING]

RAPHAEL: Hey. - What?

[MOANS]

Raph.

You're awake. How do you feel?

What's a guy got to do to get some food around here?

Hey. Hey, he's awake.

He wants some food.

Bring some food.

You're gonna be okay, Raph.

You're gonna be okay.

Yeah, yeah, all right, Leo.

Get a grip, will you?

Listen, Raph.

[GRUNTS]

About what I said before...

...you know...

...about not needing you and all, like...

Leo...

...don't.

Oh, boy, we missed you.

[SNIFFLES]

It's a Kodak moment.

[APRIL AND DONATELLO LAUGH]

[ALL GRUNTING]

APRIL: The turtles are four once again...

...and yet, still not whole.

A lingering doubt remains.

An unknown which they can't bear to face...

...their greatest fear.

Splinter!

[MOANS]

TATSU: Your empire flourishes, Master Shredder.

MAN: No, no, no, that's a stereo. SHREDDER: What more from the rat?

TATSU: Nothing.

He will not speak.

SHREDDER: And the boy who led us to the turtles?

He is still missing.

I do not understand.

Why do the turtles trouble you, master?

They have not been seen for many days.

Something about the way you described their fighting.

Something familiar.

Something...

...from the past.

[GRUNTING, YELLING]

[RADIO PLAYING POP MUSIC]

[APRIL GROANS]

[SIGHS]

[MOANS]

[GROANS]

[CHUCKLES]

APRIL: Ointment? - Mm-mm.

Hey, guys.

[HUMS, CHUCKLES]

Hmm.

[SNICKERING]

Oh, God.

Funny, Mikey.

Leonardo.

Hah. Splinter.

What Russian novel, embracing more than 500 characters...

...is set in the Napoleonic Wars?

War and Peace.

He's alive.

- Hey. - Thanks, spaz.

Splinter's alive.

We know, Leo. Of course he is.

We all think he's alive.

I don't think.

- I know. - Huh?

Huh?

[BLOWING]

Leo...

...if you dragged us out here for nothing...

Don't worry. I came prepared.

- Put those away. - Heh-heh.

Heh.

Now, everybody close your eyes and concentrate.

Concentrate hard.

[SIGHS, ANIMALS HOWLING]

SPLINTER: I am proud of you, my sons.

Tonight you have learned...

...the final and greatest truth of the ninja...

...that ultimate mastery comes not of the body...

...but of the mind.

Together, there is nothing your four minds cannot accomplish.

Help each other.

Draw upon one another.

And always remember the true force that binds you...

...the same as that which brought me here tonight...

...that which I gladly return with my final words.

I love you all, my sons.

Huh. Huh? Uh... Huh.

[SNIFFLING]

[ROOSTER CROWS]

So you actually played professionally?

Before I got hurt, less than a year.

I'm sorry.

- So was I. - Ah-ah-ahem.

Guys, I told you...

...I hate it when you do that, all right?

What is it?

It's time to go back.

APRIL: Oh, no. Oh.

- Home sweet home. APRIL: Ha-ha.

Yuch.

I know what it's like to travel without a green card.

This isn't bad.

Nice place, guys. In fact, l...

[MANHOLE COVER OPENS]

Are you coming or not, dude?

[GROANS]

CASEY: This is great, it's great.

First it's the farm that time forgot, and now this.

Why don't I ever fall in with people who own condos?

Guess it's hard to get good maid service in a sewer.

Maybe you guys should try Roto-Rooter.

APRIL: Would you quit complaining? It's just for the night.

I still don't see why we don't get started right away.

It's been a long drive, Raph.

And before we go out advertising to The Foot that we're back...

...we could all use a few hours' sleep. RAPHAEL: Yeah.

I know, you're right. I'm just... What's that?

[CLATTERING]

[GROWLING]

APRIL: Danny? - Don't shoot.

- I don't think it's loaded, kid. - Danny...

...what are you doing here?

MICHAELANGELO: Where'd he come from? DONATELLO: Beats me.

I ran away from home.

APRIL: Oh, God, your father's gonna have kittens.

- Does this thing work? - No.

No, please don't call.

Just let me stay here the night with you.

We can call in the morning. I promise.

- Danny, listen, your dad, he's... - Hold on, hold it.

Okay, now, what is all this talk about spending the night down here?

You're a claustrophobic.

[CHUCKLES]

- Do you want a fist in the mouth? - Mm-mm.

I've never even looked at another guy before.

What he means is that you're afraid of enclosed areas.

Afraid?

- What, me? Is that what you think? - Mm-hm.

Ah. Hey, I don't have to take this stuff about being afraid.

[CLANGING]

I'm gonna sleep in the truck.

[LAUGHING]

DANNY: Jeez, these are good.

APRIL: Thanks.

DANNY: Do you think maybe I could have one?

- Sure, why not? - Thanks.

[YAWNS]

Oh, man, I could really go...

...for a little deep-dish action right about now.

I had some pizza down here the other day.

- There might be some left over. - Mm? Mm? Uh-huh.

- Wa-ah. Wa-ah-aah! - Ha-ha-ha.

[HUMS]

- Well? - Question.

- Yeah? - Do you like penicillin on your pizza?

Oh! Ugh.

[BOTH HUMMING "TAPS"]

"Afraid of enclosed areas."

[SCOFFS]

[TURTLES SNORING]

SHREDDER [IN VOICEOVER]: You are here...

...because the outside world rejects you.

And you have no one to go to, Danny?

This is your family.

SPLINTER: All fathers care for their sons.

[GASPS]

[MANHOLE COVER SLIDES]

[OPENS CAR DOOR]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER, LAUGHTER]

BOY 1: Nice shot, man.

BOY 2: I need a cigar.

Where is my cigar?

BOY 3: Hey.

Great how you did that, it rocks.

[MOANS SOFTLY]

I have not seen you for days.

Yeah, I've been down at my hideout a lot lately.

And do you now hide from your surrogate family as well?

I don't know.

I too...

...once had a family, Danny.

Many years ago...

...I lived in Japan...

...a pet of my master, Yoshi...

...mimicking his movements from my cage...

...and learning the mysterious art of Ninjitsu...

...for Yoshi was one of Japars finest shadow warriors.

His only rival was a man named Oroku Saki...

...and they competed in all things...

...but none more fiercely than for the love of a woman.

Tang Shen.

Shers love was only for my master...

...and rather than see him fight Saki for her hand...

...she persuaded Yoshi...

...to flee with me to America...

...but Saki vowed vengeance.

I remember it well.

As my master returned home...

...to find his beloved Shen lying on the floor.

And then he saw her killer.

Saki wasted no words, and during the struggle...

...my cage was broken.

I leapt to Saki's face, biting and clawing...

...but he threw me to the floor...

...and took one swipe with his katana, slicing my ear.

Then he was gone and I was alone.

Whatever happened to this Oroku Saki?

No one really knows...

...but you wear his symbol upon your brow.

[MAN GRUNTS]

SHREDDER: What are you doing in there, boy?

Nothing.

Where have you been?

DANNY: Nowhere.

You're lying to me.

- No. - And you're hiding something as well.

Shaah!

They're back.

TATSU: Master.

There will be no mistake this time.

I go myself.

And the rat...

...kill it.

MAN: Come on, men.

- Hey, what do you want? - Shh, shh.

Recognize me now, kid?

- Hey, what's the deal? - You got to come with me.

- What are you talking about come with you? - They're gonna kill Splinter.

[GRUNTING]

[ALL YELLING]

[TURTLES YELLING]

DONATELLO: Hee-hee-hee. No sweat.

Gosh, I do hope there's more of them.

[PANTING, GRUNTING]

- Huh? - Ah.

Good.

Well, where are the keys?

Who are you?

Hey.

- Ahh. - The name's Casey Jones.

A friend.

[GROANS]

Let's get out of here.

[TATSU GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING, YELLING]

A little to the right. A little to the left.

One more time.

A little bit more like that.

And stop. Perfect.

Aah!

- You're a natural, sis. - Thanks.

Ha! Ha-ha! Ha!

[GRUNTS]

Now, you know, a little Primatene might just help to clear that up there.

That's gonna cost you, Tinker Bell.

I don't think that you're listening.

You know, I'm starting to pick up on a little language barrier thing going here.

[TATSU GROANING]

Fore.

[PANTING]

I'll never call golf a dull game again.

[GRUNTING]

Gangway.

Showoff.

What are we just standing here for? Let's get him.

Do you want to be first, junior, huh?

We have a loyalty to The Shredder.

The Shredder uses you.

He poisons your minds to obtain that which he desires.

He cares nothing for you or the people you hurt.

We're a family.

[CROWD MURMURING]

Family? Is that what you said? Family?

You call this here...

...and that down there, family?

[CROWD MURMURING]

[EXHALES]

Casey.

[CROWD WHISPERING]

[NINJAS YELLING, GRUNTING]

DONATELLO: Hey, dudes, where you going?

Hai!

Ha! Hey, Donnie, looks like this one's suffering from shell shock. Ha!

Hmm. Too derivative.

[YELLS]

Boy, I guess we can really shell it out.

Too cliché.

Well, it was a shell of a good hit.

I like it. Step up.

Awesome. Ha! Ha! Ha!

[LAUGHS]

Hey, where do you think you're going?

NINJA: Hey. - Hmm.

Hey, wait for me.

Whoop! Yaah!

God, I love being a turtle!

[YELLS]

Ha-ha! Yee-ha!

Oh!

Come on, come on.

[GRUNTING, YELLING]

Aw. No more?

Nyah. Nyak-nyak.

Does anybody have any idea about who or what this is?

I don't know...

...but I'll bet it never has to look for a can opener.

[CHUCKLES]

You fight well in the old style...

...but you've caused me enough trouble.

Now you face...

...The Shredder.

- The Shredder? Heh. - Uh...

Maybe all that hardware's for making coleslaw.

I got him.

[GROWLS, GRUNTING]

- This guy's good. - Yeah.

- Why don't you go next? - Thank you.

[YELLS]

Uh... Match you for it?

BOTH: One, two, three. Mm.

- Damn. - Great. Wah!

[TURTLES GRUNTING IN DISTANCE]

Come on.

[CROWD MURMURING]

So much for family, huh?

TEEN: Yeah, I'm just so hungry, you know.

[PANTING]

Now...

...at exactly what point...

...did we lose control here?

Maybe somebody ought to tell him that we're the good guys.

- Yeah. - Any thoughts?

I've only got one thought.

This guy knows where Splinter is.

[ALL YELLING, GRUNTING]

Looks like your boys are going to need a little...

Where did he go?

Oh, boy.

Leftovers.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Yee-ha!

It's a talent.

[GROANS]

[PANTING]

Where's Splinter?

- Ah. The rat, so it has a name. - Huh?

It had a name.

[GRUNTS]

You lie.

Do I?

[YELLS]

[GROANS]

[GASPS]

He dies.

- Huh? - Weapons.

- Now. - Oh.

[GRUNTS]

Fools. Ha-ha.

The three of you might have overpowered me with the loss of but one.

Now your fate will be his.

ALL: No.

SHREDDER: Oh.

Splinter.

- Aah. - Yes, Oroku Saki.

I know who you are.

We met many years ago...

...in the home of my master...

...Hamato Yoshi.

It's him.

You.

Now I will finish what I began with your ear.

[YELLS]

[SHREDDER GRUNTS, GROANS]

[CROWD CHATTERING]

Death comes for us all, Oroku Saki...

...but something much worse comes for you.

For when you die, it will be...

[SCREAMS]

- Without honor.

Oops.

- Splinter, are you okay? - Oh, Splinter.

Oh, Splinter, we were so worried.

[SIRENS APPROACHING]

Kids.

[CHUCKLES]

TEEN 1: I can't wait... TEEN 2: I was there. I saw the whole thing.

TEEN 3: All right. TEEN 4: Whatever.

MAN 1: Okay, okay, move along here.

MAN 2: You, you, come here.

MAN 3: Tell me when it's on. MAN 4: Hold the battery.

All right, guys, let's get to it.

WOMAN: Brian, it's over.

- It's over. MAN 5: April.

- April. April, here. - Danny.

WOMAN: See you later. - What's this for?

It's something I owe you.

- Trust me. MAN 6: Come on, let's move it back.

MAN 7: You there, come here.

DANNY: Dad.

Danny?

Danny.

God, where have you been?

I've had the whole city looking for you.

Are you all right?

- Are you okay, Danny? - It's okay, Dad.

I'm okay, really. I'm okay.

And Dad?

It's just Dan now, okay?

Dan?

COP: Come on, folks.

- Come on. - What have you been up to?

I want some stretchers in here. Get some doctors.

Don't move. Get those kids. Don't let them get away.

April, I told you there were circumstances.

I really need you to cover this.

I don't know, Charles, you know...

Did you know that May Williams over at Channel 5 has her own office?

You can have an office.

Yeah, well, she has her own corner office.

- You can have a corner office. - Well.

She's one of the highest-paid field reporters in New York City.

Now you are.

You are a tough negotiator, Charles.

All right, I want some answers.

Now, what in God's name happened out here tonight?

Somebody better talk to me.

MAN 1: Yeah. MAN 2: Yeah.

Go check out the East Warehouse over at Lairdman Island.

You'll get your answers there.

WOMAN: How are you doing, lady?

All right, let's go.

I've been looking all over for you.

Oh, Casey, hi.

"Hi"?

You...

I look like I just called Mike Tyson a sissy.

Yeah?

And all you say is hi?

What? You don't need an ambulance, do you?

No, but I was...

Will you just shut up and kiss me, okay? I got a report to do.

- I love it when you're pushy. - Yeah?

Yeah.

Whoo-hoo.

Nine-point-nine-five.

[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE] All right, April.

All right, Casey.

Yeah, that's the way to go.

[TURTLES CHEERING]

We were awesome.

- Bodacious. - Yeah.

- Bitching. - Yeah.

Uh...

- Gnarly. - Ha-ha-ha.

Radical.

- Yeah. Ha-ha. - Totally tubular, dude.

Wicked.

Hellacious.

- Mega... SPLINTER: Ahem.

I have always liked...

...cowabunga.

- Hmm? - Huh?

Cowabunga!

I made a funny.

[LAUGHS]

- Yeah. SPLINTER: Ha-ha-ha.

[CHATTERING INDISTINCTLY]

[ENGLISH SDH]