Original subtitles

Our customer should be here by now.

We'll be glad to go look for them.

Oh, yes. I'm sure you would.

Undoubtedly your man got caught in the London traffic.

It may be days before he arrives.

If he doesn't show up in the next 10 minutes...

...I'll kill both of you.

[TELEPHONE BUZZES]

Yes? Bring him down.

You're lucky.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

KROHLER: Let them in.

[IN CHINESE ACCENT] You are Commander Krohler?

Apologies for my lateness.

I had to negotiate with superiors for the purchase of, uh...

...these two men.

One million pounds for each of them.

But, uh, we're paying you 50 million for the submarine plans.

Don't try to haggle with me.

Solo is top U.N.C.L.E. agent in America and Brian Morton is number one in England.

If Thrush were to put them on the open market...

...we could get twice as much.

The price will be paid.

Uh, may I?

Of course. They're all there.

The expectations for the submarine are even higher than we led you to believe.

It can travel at 60 knots at 10,000 feet below the surface.

Excellent.

Hmm. Now the money.

I am sorry, commander.

[SIGHS]

I must disappoint you.

[DEVICE BEEPING]

[GUNSHOT]

KROHLER: The plans are gone. After them.

[WOMEN SCREAMING]

[IN NORMAL VOICE] You were lucky. I was able detain the real Mr. Yu.

Did you know that I was the top U.N.C.L.E. agent in America?

Hmm.

Uh, the first plane to London, Miss Rogers.

- Find out when it leaves. - Yes, sir.

Quick. Here, send this message to London:

"Waverly to Solo and Kuryakin.

Disregard last message. Remain in London until further orders."

That's all. Oh, yes, add this:

"Assemble a dossier on a Miss Laura Adams.

But please make certain that agent Morton doesn't know you're doing it."

End of message.

An U.N.C.L.E. jet is leaving for London in four minutes, sir.

- Tell them to hold it for me. - Yes, sir.

Your letter of resignation. I won't accept it.

I'm afraid you have no choice, Mr. Waverly.

Mr. Morton, you are the number-four agent in the U.N.C.L.E. organization.

The head of operations for England and the continent. And I can't--

I have rather a good reason, and I stated it quite succinctly.

WAVERLY: Yes, I know. You intend to get married to Miss Laura Adams.

- And in the middle of an assignment - The affair's ended, sir.

We've returned the plans to the Admiralty Documents Division.

What about the submarine itself, an obvious target for Thrush sabotage?

Well, we've set up new security measures, sir.

There can be no real security measures while Commander Krohler's at large.

Mr. Morton, I'm asking you to stay on only until the submarine has its trial run.

[MORTON SIGHS]

All right.

Good. I knew I could count on you.

Well, now that that's all settled, I should like to meet your fianc�e...

...offer her my best wishes.

I'll be glad to introduce you, sir, uh...

...after the wedding.

The fish won't bite until dawn.

Then I shall have to wait all through the night.

So you are Commander Krohler.

At your service, Mr. Yu.

The authentic Mr. Yu.

I have been in touch with your superior.

There was no need to.

He assured me you will still be able to deliver the plans.

I pray he wasn't overly optimistic.

You don't have to worry.

It is you who should worry, Commander Krohler.

Your superior asked me to inform you...

...that unless the plans are in your possession within 24 hours...

...I shall conclude the deal with your replacement.

All right, 24 hours.

YU: Good fishing, commander.

[GROOVY MUSIC PLAYING]

[CROWD CLAPPING AND CHATTERING]

[ICE CLINKS]

What's worrying you, Brian? Is it Waverly?

He came all the way from New York to make a point...

...he could've made on the phone, and he's staying on in London.

Oh, well, I don't see--

I know that old fox. He'd give his right arm to keep me in the organization.

Well, nothing he can do will make me change my mind.

[DOG BARKING]

[CAT MEOWS]

[DOG BARKING]

[CAT MEOWS]

[DOG BARKING]

[CAT MEOWS]

[DOG BARKING]

[CAT MEOWING]

[DOG GROWLING]

[DOG SNARLING AND BARKING]

[CAT MEOWING]

[ALARM WAILING]

[DOG BARKING]

[GUNFIRE]

[RADIO BEEPING]

Blast.

[LAURA SIGHS]

Your master's voice.

[LAURA SCOFFS]

Well, you better answer it, dear.

All right.

I won't be a minute.

- Morton here. - Kuryakin here.

There's trouble at the shipyard. An attempt to sabotage the submarine.

Check it out, will you, and get back to me?

No, I'm sorry. You're chief of this operation.

I can't take charge without your written authorization.

Well, I can phone the shipyard.

ILLYA [OVER RADIO]: Listen, whatever it is you're doing is secondary to the job.

I suggest you get down to the shipyard immediately.

All right. I'll see you in the shipyard in about 10 minutes.

- What is it, darling? - Something's come up.

Oh, Brian, not again.

There's no danger, Laura.

[SCOFFS]

The last time you said that you were wounded...

- ...and held prisoner for almost a week. - I should be back in about an hour.

If not, I'll pick you up at your flat.

It's really not serious.

[MOUTHS] Okay.

Please, darling, be careful.

Mind if I join you?

Yes, very much.

I'm Napoleon Solo.

Well, I'm definitely uninterested.

I'm a friend of Brian Morton.

Oh. Then why did you wait until he left?

Well, Brian and I are associated with Mr. Waverly.

Perhaps Brian mentioned him?

I'm suppose to take you to a meeting with Mr. Waverly.

I see.

Then Brian's exit was arranged.

Yes, it was timely.

Shall we?

LAURA: Hmm.

Well, why this meeting?

Well, for your own sake, Miss Adams.

No woman should enter marriage with an U.N.C.L.E. agent...

...unless her eyes are wide open.

My eyes have always been wide open, Mr. Waverly.

I trust you're not going to run Brian down.

Oh, Mr. Morton and all U.N.C.L.E. agents...

...are among the finest, most dedicated men in the world.

- But? - Take Mr. Solo here, for example.

He has intelligence, verve, physical prowess...

...a kind of man most women would find very attractive.

I thank you, sir.

But probably the worst possible candidate for marriage.

It's the same with all U.N.C.L.E. agents.

Once married, they become dull from missing the excitement, the adventure.

Poor Brian.

Well, I thank you for your warning, Mr. Waverly.

I imagine I'll just have to work extra hard to provide excitement for him.

I mean all this.

Now, you still have time to reconsider.

Brian was right. You simply hate to lose him.

I am sorry, Mr. Waverly.

Mr. Solo, will you see me home?

Mr. Morton is a very lucky man.

Flattery, but I'll accept it as fact.

Goodbye, Mr. Waverly.

[MORTON SIGHS]

Only the cat could have got through there.

Well, obviously, the cat was used to create a diversion...

...and the man scaled the fence.

Fortunately for us, he tripped the alarm wire.

Maybe he scaled the fence.

Mr. Morton, we've covered the entire yard, sir. No one got through.

It must have been only the man I spotted in the searchlight.

MORTON: Can you describe him?

Well, I only got a quick look, sir, but I would say that, uh, in height and build...

...he was about the same size as Mr. Kuryakin here.

In fact, if I didn't know better, I'd say it was him.

Well, that doesn't give us much to go on.

No, not much.

But enough to make me think the cat wasn't the only diversion.

Perhaps the entire thing was a diversion.

I don't follow you.

I think you do.

I suppose I can trust you...

...to write up a report of this incident to Mr. Waverly.

Good night, Kuryakin.

LAURA: Thank you for bringing me home.

Well, it's the least we could do.

I'm sorry if we spoiled your Saturday night.

That's all right. Ha. When you're in love with an agent, you get used to it.

[LAURA CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

Do you, uh, agree with Mr. Waverly?

Do you think Brian's making a tragic mistake?

Oh, I wouldn't put it that way.

I agree, in theory, that U.N.C.L.E. agents shouldn't get married.

But there are exceptions.

In this particular case, I can't say that I blame Brian.

MORTON: Thank you, Mr. Solo.

All right, Solo, you've completed your errand.

Now take a message to Mr. Waverly for me.

Tell him that I resent being treated like a marionette.

I also resent his intrusion into my personal life.

And warn him, Mr. Solo, that I won't tolerate anything more.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

MORTON: Ahem. I'll get the light, dear. LAURA: All right, darling.

[LAURA GASPS]

Mr. Morton, how nice to see you again.

Take the girl into the other room.

Uh, she says with me.

You are in no position to give orders, Mr. Morton.

Keep her company.

Brian?

Now look, Krohler, taking me is part of the game...

...but Laura has no relationship to U.N.C.L.E.

You're engaged to be married.

- That has nothing to do with it. - Oh, but it has everything to do with it.

You see, it cost me a lot of time to get those submarine plans.

I was all set to deliver them until you and your associates stole them from me.

I want those plans quickly.

And with the least amount of effort.

You will get them for me.

You're out of your mind.

There's nothing you can do to me that will make me sell out.

To you, Mr. Morton, perhaps not.

But there is your fianc�e.

Yeah, but you knew that was coming all along, didn't you?

Well, the girl impressed me.

Strong will, good streak of independence.

Jibes with her background information.

Although there's nothing much here.

We didn't have much time, only got the basic facts.

They don't appear compromising.

What about the men in her life?

A girl as good-looking as all that...

...there must have been someone before Mr. Morton.

A broken engagement perhaps.

Check into it, will you?

Sir, Morton's agreed to finish the assignment.

Uh, why are you interfering in his personal life?

I asked you to check into the girl's background.

Well, uh, I don't like it.

It's not for you to like or dislike.

- We don't mean to question your orders-- - Then don't.

I'm sorry, gentlemen. I understand your feeling, but--

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

- Hello? - Mr. Waverly?

Agent Walker here, on electronic security.

I'm sorry to disturb you on Sunday morning, sir.

No rest for the virtuous, Miss Walker.

Yes, sir. Ha.

There's something that Mr. Morton should know...

...but I haven't been able to locate him.

Oh? What's the problem?

I'm monitoring the board connected to the Documents building.

[OVER PHONE] A part of our security blanket for the submarine plans....

- Yes, go on. - Well, there was a signal, sir.

It only lasted 12 seconds...

...so I thought it might be a temporary short in the board.

More likely somebody trying to break in. Did you call the guard post?

Oh, yes, sir. But they reported all clear so I thought it might be a short.

Keep trying to make contact with Mr. Morton.

I'll send some men over immediately.

The Documents building.

It looks like Thrush is trying another move.

You better get over there, fast.

U.N.C.L.E. HQ to Mr. Morton. U.N.C.L.E. HQ to Mr. Morton.

[OVER RADIO] U.N.C.L.E. HQ to Morton. U.N.C.L.E. HQ to Mr. Morton.

U.N.C.L.E. HQ to Mr. Morton. U.N.C.L.E. HQ to Mr. Morton.

Uh, Morton to headquarters.

WALKER [OVER RADIO]: Mr. Morton, Agent Walker here, sir.

There's trouble on the monitor board.

A signal from Documents.

I've been trying to get you for some time, sir...

...but when I couldn't reach you, I called Mr. Waverly.

[OVER RADIO] I say, sir. Are you still there?

Yes, yes. Um, I gather Mr. Waverly put a man on the job?

Oh, yes, sir. He sent someone over to the Documents building.

All right. If Mr. Waverly rings back, tell him I'm on my way over there.

Someone may be trying to get into the vault.

[CAMERA CLICKS]

[CAMERA CLICKS]

I doubt if you'll find anything amiss, gentlemen. We've already checked.

Well, someone may have come over the wall.

Well, that's always a possibility, sir.

However, all the doors and windows are wired to an alarm system.

It's been as quiet as a cemetery.

- We'll just have a look around. Thank you. - All right, sir.

- Oh, it's locked. - Hmm. That never stopped you in the past.

Only one thing could've caused a short circuit in the monitor board...

- ...and that's a window. - That's been opened and closed again.

Let's start checking it out.

[FOOTSTEPS NEARBY]

Well, whoever was here came and went.

Yeah, obviously. But we installed an automatic gas release.

How did he get past that?

Well, the switch was turned off before he entered the vault.

He must have known every security measure we took.

SOLO: Before he entered the vault, he also knew the combination.

So there's only one thing left to check, right?

If memory serves correctly, it was this one.

The submarine plan is still here?

[DOOR SLAMS]

He's been hiding out there.

[BOTH COUGHING]

[BOTH COUGHING]

Mr. Morton, sir.

I just got a call on trouble over here.

Well, there's some sort of a mix up, sir.

Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin are inside checking it out right now.

Oh? Then we better see what they've found.

All right, sir.

GUARD: Trouble.

The wall, quickly.

Where were you when the man was breaking in?

- A man, sir? We'd better-- - Oh, never mind.

Stay here, I might need you. The others are after him.

He may have had time to get in the vault.

Well, we trapped two of them with the gas.

These men are U.N.C.L.E. agents. Get them out and revive them.

[ILLYA AND SOLO COUGHING]

[SOLO COUGHS]

Someone closed the door on us and turned on the gas.

Yes, I guessed as much.

I caught him trying to open the vault, but he got out the window.

Mr. Morton, sir, he got away. Apparently, he had a car waiting.

All right, you can all return to your posts.

I'll send some extra men down to patrol the grounds.

You'd better get to your hotel and sleep off the effects.

[SOLO SIGHS]

- You'll be fine in a couple of hours. - Oh!

Steady as you go, Napoleon.

I'll be a little wobbly, I guess.

We'll see you later. Thank you.

Keep your distance. I don't want him to spot us.

I assume we have a reason for following Brian Morton.

What did you put on him when you fell against him?

A listening device.

It's a sad state of affairs...

...when we can't trust our fellow U.N.C.L.E. agents.

It's very sad. Has it ever occurred to you...

...that whoever broke into the Admiralty Record Building...

...had a very easy time of it?

Too easy?

Maybe.

He must have spotted us.

Well, let's double back.

Post Number 1, Morton just passed.

No one is tailing him.

Very good. Remain at your post.

Cut the engine. I think I'm getting something.

[FOOTSTEPS OVER RADIO]

Sounds like footsteps. He must have stopped.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR OVER RADIO]

KROHLER [OVER RADIO]: I was beginning to worry that you'd changed your mind.

I had to shake off a car that may have been following me--

[STATIC OVER RADIO]

We just lost a bug.

I think we're close to the source of the transmission. Maybe a couple of miles.

Well, let's cruise. Maybe we can spot his car.

[ENGINE REVS]

I can guess why Solo planted that bug. My breaking into the safe looked too simple.

- But if Solo suspects you, Brian-- MORTON: He can't prove anything.

He hasn't even enough to go to Waverly on without making a fool of himself.

[SIGHS]

When you develop this film, you'll see that I've lived up to my side of the bargain.

I take your word for it.

Now you want to leave with Miss Adams?

Yes, that was your end of the deal.

Laura.

Tell your watchdogs to sit.

[LAURA GASPS]

You've got the plans, Krohler. There's nothing else.

There's more. There's much more.

You see, you are going to help me capture the submarine itself.

You're insane. That's impossible.

Impossible is the adjective of fools, Mr. Morton.

I intend to get my men on board the submarine and take it over.

It can't be done.

Only Mr. Waverly can authorize taking a group aboard that sub.

Exactly, and you're going to get Waverly to issue the authorization.

I won't do it.

We shall see.

[LAURA GASPS THEN YELLS]

- I detest violence, Mr. Morton. - Ohh!

KROHLER: But you give me no choice.

Ah! Oh, Brian, please.

[LAURA PANTS]

We'll never find him at this rate.

When he goes back up to town...

...he'll either go to his fianc�e's place or his own.

Okay. One of us can watch Laura's pad and the other can wait at Brian's.

I've got a lot of questions to ask Mr. Morton.

And the sooner I get the answers, the better we'll all sleep.

- Are you sure, Mr. Morton? MORTON [OVER RADIO]: Yes, sir.

At least one member of the sub crew, uh, maybe more, are in the pay of Thrush.

Unfortunately, we can't identify them.

Then I shall have to call off the trial run.

Uh, if you do that, sir, Thrush might make an immediate move.

Uh, if I may suggest, sir, there is a way.

[OVER RADIO] It wouldn't look suspicious if you took charge...

...of the operations aboard the sub.

Then if you'd issue clearances to myself and a group of agents...

...we could come aboard at the last minute.

I see. We could post an agent at each of the critical posts during the trial run.

- Exactly, sir. WAVERLY: All right, Mr. Morton.

I'll issue the proper authorizations...

...and meet you on the submarine at sailing time.

[OVER RADIO] And thank you.

[MORTON SIGHS]

You did very well, Mr. Morton.

Even if you get aboard, you haven't got a chance.

Let me weigh the chances, Mr. Morton.

The next step is even simpler.

You shall return to U.N.C.L.E. Headquarters...

...and obtain several U.N.C.L.E. identification cards...

...for me and my associates.

[KROHLER CHUCKLES]

I know what you're thinking.

But then...

...you know what I'm thinking.

Put your weapon away.

That sort of threat wouldn't work with me and you know it.

Well, what will work?

A bribe large enough to support you and your wife for life?

I am no less dedicated than you, Mr. Solo.

Just more vulnerable. They're holding Laura.

So you are the man who tried to get the sub plans last night.

More than a try. I copied the plans with a microfilm camera.

You delivered them to Thrush?

I had no choice. They would've killed Laura.

I thought that if I could get her out I could have a clear shot at Krohler...

...and get the plans back.

But he anticipated that.

Hmm. He didn't let her go, then?

Then why are you free?

Krohler wants you for another job.

Right? A bigger one.

The biggest. He intends to capture the sub.

Mm-hm. And you're the key that opens the doors.

Look, I swear to you, I came here intending to reveal everything.

Even though I know what will happen to....

But I can't go through with it.

I just can't.

- Can you believe me? - Oh, we believe you, all right.

But you are going through with it.

You're going to do everything Krohler asks you to do.

Plus just a little bit extra.

[GUN COCKS]

Brian Morton just past my post. He's alone in the car.

He should sleep for a couple of hours.

MORTON: What are you doing?

Oh, come on. You don't think there's anyone hidden in there, do you?

- Where's Laura? - In the bedroom, quite safe and unharmed.

You can see her as soon as you give me the identification cards.

[MORTON SIGHS]

Very nice.

I'm glad to see that in this case, your love is stronger than your loyalty.

Go. Go, my friend.

Your lady is waiting.

SOLO: Hold it.

Over there.

MORTON: I'll get Laura.

- Commander Krohler, the microfilm. KROHLER: Yes, of course.

- It's in my pocket. If you'll permit-- - All right, take it out slowly.

Check it, Brian.

MORTON: Yes, that's my film, all right.

Mr. Morton, you've behaved exactly as I anticipated.

Now I shall be able to deliver not only the submarine...

...but Waverly, Solo and Kuryakin as well.

LAURA: You do have a choice.

You can go dead...

...or alive.

KROHLER: Ah.

This should do it.

Bring the limousine around.

How much did he promise to pay you, Laura?

A million pounds? Two million?

What makes you think he'll pay off?

[CHUCKLES]

True love dies hard, Mr. Morton.

Perhaps I can help it die more easily.

Laura did not sell out.

She's been a Thrush agent for several years.

Hmm. A long-range investment.

Oh, yeah-- Ha, yes.

For the past six months...

...our Laura has been playing the part of a girl in love.

Of course, the entire effort was almost wasted...

...when Mr. Morton decided to get married and resign from U.N.C.L.E.

Imagine, a top U.N.C.L.E. man married to a Thrush agent.

Wouldn't you say that that was carrying togetherness a bit far?

[MORTON AND KROHLER GRUNTING]

Kill him!

Kill him! Kill him!

ILLYA: Look out!

- Afternoon, Mr. Morton. - Afternoon.

Identity cards, please.

All seven here.

Right-o.

Mr. Waverly's been expecting you aboard.

- Pleasant sailing, sir. - Thank you.

I don't like it at all, Waverly.

It would be wiser to have my entire crew assemble on the dock.

We'd have the sub cleared and safe in five minutes.

WAVERLY: You don't know Thrush.

One unusual move on our part and their men might blow up your ship.

Captain here.

MAN [OVER RADIO]: Party of seven U.N.C.L.E. agents on board, sir.

Good.

All hands, secure hatches and assume sailing stations.

We'll be under way immediately.

Take it, chief.

Well, we're under way.

I'll meet my men, get them stationed.

I know you have many questions, Mr. Waverly.

I'm sure your men will fill you in while we attend to some details.

Put them in there. Tie him up.

Sit them down, tie them to the straps, and lock them in here, quickly.

We're approaching the Channel.

Maintain speed for seven seconds, then submerge to 14 fathoms.

You're doing beautifully, captain. Keep up the good work.

They're in the crew's quarters.

And, of course, they've taken over the radio.

I suppose they relieved you fellows of all your concealed weapons.

Yeah, they didn't miss a thing.

Then I suppose it's up to me.

Ah, he's got it.

You'll never pull this off.

As soon as the crew discovers what's happened, you'll be finished.

In 12 minutes we'll rendezvous with a fishing vessel.

They'll send a new crew aboard.

If he tries anything, shoot him.

There's something very special I want you to do, Laura.

I want you to kill Brian Morton.

Kill him now.

[SIGHS]

But why?

There's no reason.

Simply to prove that I can trust you in the future.

You should've shot him in the cottage when he attacked me but you hesitated.

Why?

Have you fallen in love with him?

[LAURA CHUCKLES]

You're being childish.

Perhaps so. You have the opportunity to prove it.

I will obey your order.

For your sake, Laura. I'm glad.

I'm getting it.

[MORTON EXHALES DEEPLY]

[DOOR OPENS]

I think it's time to say goodbye now, Brian.

Parting is such sweet sorrow?

Conscience, Laura? I don't believe it.

If it were the other way around?

If your Mr. Waverly had ordered you to kill me?

- Can you really do it, Laura? - I must.

Miss Adams, it is the nature of the female scorpion...

...to destroy the male after he's loved her but--

Oh, shut up.

But unlike the scorpion, a human can choose not to kill.

I can promise you amnesty if you release us.

[GUNSHOT]

You're right, Mr. Waverly, I do have a choice.

And I choose to carry out my orders.

Goodbye, my love.

[LAURA GRUNTS]

My sympathy, captain. You've had your new command for such a short time.

SOLO: Commander Krohler. Don't try it.

All right, gentlemen, drop your weapons and move away from them.

That's enough.

Watch them.

CAPTAIN: He's been injured. - That's unfortunate.

We're close to the rendezvous now.

You take over the controls, captain, and bring your ship to the surface.

Stop or--!

[ALL GRUNTING]

MAN: Get down.

Bring your ship to the surface and head back to port at full speed.

Ah, all right. After you, commander. Come on.

Full speed ahead. Let's go.

He'll be all right if we can get him to a hospital.

[RADIO BEEPING]

Yes?

LISA [OVER RADIO]: Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin are here, sir.

And Mr. Morton.

Send them in.

Well, gentlemen.

Mr. Morton, good to see you.

But I had no message you were coming to New York.

I wanted to do it in person this time, Mr. Waverly.

- What's this? - My resignation.

I know you were expecting it.

Oh, nonsense. She was a very attractive girl.

After all, U.N.C.L.E. agents are only human.

Mr. Morton, you're being transferred to our Antarctic Communications Division.

I think you could do with a few months to cool off.

Now you must excuse me.

I'm catching a plane to Paris.

I'm to be best man at the wedding of an U.N.C.L.E. agent there.

Well, just a minute, sir, uh....

But did you try to talk the agent and his girlfriend out of marriage?

I always do.

You didn't really check into the girl's past?

Well, certainly not. I wouldn't do a thing like that.

But, uh...?

In Miss Adam's case, I was suspicious from the beginning.

I had no reason for telling either of you in case my suspicions were unfounded.

- Ours is not to reason why. - Ours is but to do and--

Exactly. "Into the valley of Death."

Now, if you'll excuse me.

I'm still convinced that U.N.C.L.E. agents make terrible husbands.

And I shall continue to tell that to any girl...

...who's foolish enough to fall in love with any of you.

Good day, gentlemen.

[SOLO SIGHS]

We have each other.

[ENGLISH SDH]