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♪ Your face ♪
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♪ Is like a song ♪
3
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♪ Your sweet eyes whisper ♪
4
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♪ And I want to sing along ♪
5
00:00:17,130 --> 00:00:19,664
♪ Your features ♪
6
00:00:19,699 --> 00:00:23,735
♪ Are in tune ♪
7
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♪ Let's sing together ♪
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00:00:25,372 --> 00:00:28,473
♪ And turn every month to June ♪
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♪ Your face hums ♪
10
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♪ Makes me a happy fella ♪
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♪ No more ♪
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♪ Singin' a capella ♪
13
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♪ No ♪
14
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♪ Longer lonely ♪
15
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♪ Lovin' you only ♪
16
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♪ Your lips ♪
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00:00:56,736 --> 00:01:00,605
♪ With mine will rhyme ♪
18
00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:02,607
♪ And when they touch me ♪
19
00:01:02,642 --> 00:01:05,643
♪ It's a symphony divine ♪
20
00:01:05,679 --> 00:01:07,946
♪ Your cheeks ♪
21
00:01:07,981 --> 00:01:12,116
♪ Your ears, your hair ♪
22
00:01:12,152 --> 00:01:14,052
♪ Weave me a melody ♪
23
00:01:14,087 --> 00:01:17,322
♪ A melody so rare ♪
24
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♪ Your face hums ♪
25
00:01:20,827 --> 00:01:23,228
♪ Makes me a happy fella ♪
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♪ No more ♪
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00:01:26,433 --> 00:01:29,133
♪ Singin' a capella ♪
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♪ No ♪
29
00:01:31,171 --> 00:01:34,572
♪ Longer lonely ♪
30
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♪ Lovin' you only ♪
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- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
32
00:01:57,063 --> 00:01:58,997
Okay, movie's over.
33
00:01:59,032 --> 00:02:01,099
The superheroes are friends
again. Let's get out of here.
34
00:02:01,134 --> 00:02:03,668
We can't leave before the
post-credits sequence.
35
00:02:03,703 --> 00:02:07,605
Why does Jeremy Renner
need two assistants?
36
00:02:07,641 --> 00:02:10,008
Shh. Here comes the sequence.
37
00:02:10,043 --> 00:02:12,911
The Avengers were too
strong for us, my Lord.
38
00:02:16,249 --> 00:02:19,217
What? Who's that?
39
00:02:19,252 --> 00:02:21,185
That's Spider-Man's Uncle Ben.
40
00:02:21,221 --> 00:02:23,888
He was alive the whole time.
41
00:02:23,924 --> 00:02:25,356
And evil.
42
00:02:25,392 --> 00:02:29,260
With great power, comes
no responsibility.
43
00:02:32,299 --> 00:02:33,631
Finally.
44
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:35,366
What? You saw it.
45
00:02:35,402 --> 00:02:38,603
That was a mid-credit scene.
There's more.
46
00:02:41,107 --> 00:02:42,473
Who the hell are you?
47
00:02:42,509 --> 00:02:44,142
I'm assembling a team of the best
48
00:02:44,177 --> 00:02:45,810
team assemblers in the world.
49
00:02:45,845 --> 00:02:49,981
And I want you to help me
put together that team.
50
00:02:50,016 --> 00:02:52,517
Assemblers assemble!
51
00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:57,190
_
52
00:02:57,190 --> 00:03:00,825
Time. To. Go.
53
00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:02,594
But there's two more credit sequences.
54
00:03:02,629 --> 00:03:04,796
When I was a kid, movies
ended when they ended.
55
00:03:04,831 --> 00:03:06,631
The only reason you
stayed for the credits
56
00:03:06,666 --> 00:03:08,566
was to see who sang "The Power of Love."
57
00:03:08,602 --> 00:03:10,635
And it was usually Huey Lewis.
58
00:03:10,670 --> 00:03:12,837
I liked the first post-credit
sequence the best.
59
00:03:12,872 --> 00:03:14,505
I liked the fifth.
60
00:03:14,541 --> 00:03:16,107
Pipe down. I'm trying to listen
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00:03:16,142 --> 00:03:18,109
to preseason minor league baseball.
62
00:03:18,144 --> 00:03:19,677
And with the last
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00:03:19,713 --> 00:03:21,179
of the Isotopes pitchers
64
00:03:21,214 --> 00:03:24,115
receiving Tommy John
surgery on the mound,
65
00:03:24,150 --> 00:03:26,284
that's the ball game.
Good night, everybody.
66
00:03:28,455 --> 00:03:30,888
Stupid baseball traffic.
67
00:03:30,924 --> 00:03:32,890
I'm taking a shortcut home.
68
00:03:35,929 --> 00:03:39,797
Kids, look. We used to live
here before we were married.
69
00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:42,000
It's the old Beef Rendering District.
70
00:03:42,035 --> 00:03:44,535
Ah, yes, Tallow-town.
71
00:03:44,571 --> 00:03:46,070
At the end of every factory tour,
72
00:03:46,106 --> 00:03:48,239
they gave you a free glass of blood.
73
00:03:48,274 --> 00:03:50,708
Huh, it's really gentrified.
74
00:03:50,744 --> 00:03:53,478
Oh, a store where you grind and flavor
75
00:03:53,513 --> 00:03:55,713
your own house made toothpaste.
76
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:57,951
_
77
00:03:57,951 --> 00:04:00,351
Ooh. Mmm. Terrible.
78
00:04:00,387 --> 00:04:02,820
There's our old building. Look.
79
00:04:04,758 --> 00:04:07,458
Our fifth floor walk-up apartment.
80
00:04:07,494 --> 00:04:11,562
Dad, you walked up
five floors every day?
81
00:04:11,598 --> 00:04:13,297
No. I took the elevator
82
00:04:13,333 --> 00:04:14,932
to the top of the building next door,
83
00:04:14,968 --> 00:04:17,201
then crawled across a plank to our roof.
84
00:04:17,237 --> 00:04:19,904
Hey! I pioneered that trail!
85
00:04:19,939 --> 00:04:22,073
Yeah, great. Thank you, Kit Carson.
86
00:04:22,108 --> 00:04:24,676
Kids, you want to check
out our old apartment?
87
00:04:24,711 --> 00:04:26,444
Huh? Huh?
88
00:04:26,479 --> 00:04:29,614
I can tell from your tone
that we're going either way.
89
00:04:29,649 --> 00:04:31,549
I have one tone.
90
00:04:33,953 --> 00:04:36,954
Hi. You don't know me,
but I'm Marge Simpson.
91
00:04:36,990 --> 00:04:39,257
Oh, yeah, I recognize that name.
92
00:04:39,292 --> 00:04:41,159
In fact, we still get mail for you.
93
00:04:41,227 --> 00:04:42,493
Mm.
_
94
00:04:42,529 --> 00:04:43,728
Ooh.
_
95
00:04:43,763 --> 00:04:45,396
_
96
00:04:45,432 --> 00:04:46,964
Aw.
_
97
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,266
Oh, thank God.
98
00:04:48,301 --> 00:04:51,569
A list of 101 new choking hazards.
99
00:04:51,604 --> 00:04:54,405
Pacifiers?
100
00:04:58,812 --> 00:05:00,878
No! No.
101
00:05:00,914 --> 00:05:02,914
Maggie!
102
00:05:02,949 --> 00:05:04,415
Oh, here.
103
00:05:04,451 --> 00:05:05,616
So can I get you anything?
104
00:05:05,652 --> 00:05:06,951
Weed? Edibles?
105
00:05:06,986 --> 00:05:08,519
Pudding with a joint in the center?
106
00:05:08,555 --> 00:05:09,954
But we need you out by 7:00.
107
00:05:09,989 --> 00:05:11,789
We Airbnb this place every night
108
00:05:11,825 --> 00:05:13,725
while we stay at a cheaper Airbnb.
109
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:15,960
Mmm. Disruptive.
110
00:05:15,995 --> 00:05:20,098
Before Homer and I got married,
we had amazing times here.
111
00:05:20,133 --> 00:05:21,799
Yeah, right.
112
00:05:21,835 --> 00:05:24,135
Like you could possibly
ever have fun without us.
113
00:05:24,170 --> 00:05:25,970
It was a wonderful time.
114
00:05:26,005 --> 00:05:28,573
- We were living the DINK life.
- Dink?
115
00:05:28,608 --> 00:05:32,009
- DINK: dual income, no kids.
- Oh, DINK.
116
00:05:32,045 --> 00:05:34,312
How come you can say dink when
you're talking about your jobs,
117
00:05:34,347 --> 00:05:37,582
but I can't say dink when
I'm talking about my dingus.
118
00:05:37,617 --> 00:05:39,917
Before we had you, life was a breeze.
119
00:05:39,953 --> 00:05:41,753
We'd go to amusement parks without going
120
00:05:41,788 --> 00:05:43,588
on those stupid baby rides.
121
00:05:43,623 --> 00:05:45,923
Squeezing my butt into a little biplane
122
00:05:45,992 --> 00:05:47,925
that only goes four feet off the ground.
123
00:05:47,961 --> 00:05:51,362
Actually, Dad, it's supposed
to go 12 feet off the ground.
124
00:05:51,397 --> 00:05:53,931
- D'oh!
- It was a great life.
125
00:05:53,967 --> 00:05:55,600
We were swimming in DINKs.
126
00:05:57,337 --> 00:06:00,605
See? That was the key to
their happiness... no kids.
127
00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,340
We've been talking about
starting a family,
128
00:06:02,375 --> 00:06:04,108
but we're just not sure we're ready.
129
00:06:04,144 --> 00:06:06,677
We can't even agree on
what to name our ferret.
130
00:06:06,713 --> 00:06:08,379
Yeah, we both like Caitlin,
131
00:06:08,414 --> 00:06:10,948
but we just, we can't
agree on the spelling.
132
00:06:13,086 --> 00:06:15,620
Well, we used to be just like you.
133
00:06:15,655 --> 00:06:18,856
Childless and partying every night.
134
00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:32,069
Hey, check out who crashed
the party, Kent Brockman.
135
00:06:32,105 --> 00:06:36,574
Ooh, he does the animal adoption
segment on Thursday mornings.
136
00:06:36,609 --> 00:06:38,643
Eh? Eh?
137
00:06:38,678 --> 00:06:40,178
Yes, the biggest problem with winning
138
00:06:40,213 --> 00:06:42,013
a local Humane Society Golden Pig Ear
139
00:06:42,048 --> 00:06:44,515
is just staying humble.
140
00:06:44,551 --> 00:06:46,651
This celebrity sighting will be the lead
141
00:06:46,686 --> 00:06:49,654
for my gossip column, "Marge Madness."
142
00:06:49,689 --> 00:06:52,390
- Hmm.
- Ow. What are you doing?
143
00:06:52,425 --> 00:06:54,258
There isn't even a dartboard.
144
00:06:54,294 --> 00:06:55,560
You're Marge Bouvier?
145
00:06:55,595 --> 00:06:57,195
Oh, I read your listings every week...
146
00:06:57,230 --> 00:06:59,897
correct dates, very few
typos, professional stuff.
147
00:06:59,933 --> 00:07:01,232
- Mm.
- Just steer clear
148
00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:03,768
of pet shelters and fun
runs, those are my beat.
149
00:07:03,803 --> 00:07:06,237
Mr. Brockman, you're hurting my arm.
150
00:07:06,272 --> 00:07:07,872
Oh, I'm sorry.
151
00:07:07,907 --> 00:07:10,908
I just care about soft news so much.
152
00:07:10,944 --> 00:07:13,444
I had a job at a cutting
edge new company
153
00:07:13,479 --> 00:07:15,112
that would change the world.
154
00:07:15,148 --> 00:07:17,715
Homer, next week we finally
take our revolutionary
155
00:07:17,750 --> 00:07:19,350
teeth whitening strips to market.
156
00:07:19,385 --> 00:07:20,785
I couldn't have done
it without you, man.
157
00:07:20,820 --> 00:07:22,920
Together, we make an amazing team.
158
00:07:22,956 --> 00:07:25,556
Me, with my advanced degrees
in medicine, chemistry
159
00:07:25,592 --> 00:07:28,559
and business, and you, with
your gentle good humor.
160
00:07:28,595 --> 00:07:30,361
I hear that.
161
00:07:30,396 --> 00:07:31,796
I love it.
162
00:07:31,831 --> 00:07:33,264
It's like I know you're
not listening to me,
163
00:07:33,299 --> 00:07:34,565
but I'm not mad at you.
164
00:07:34,601 --> 00:07:36,133
- I'm sorry, what?
- Exactly.
165
00:07:36,169 --> 00:07:38,569
Buddy, whatever I make,
you get a piece of.
166
00:07:38,605 --> 00:07:41,639
I hear that. I mean, I really hear that.
167
00:07:43,643 --> 00:07:46,978
Homer took me to the
hippest spots in town.
168
00:08:01,361 --> 00:08:02,960
Oh, Homie.
169
00:08:02,996 --> 00:08:06,397
This is the happiest I've
ever been in my life.
170
00:08:06,432 --> 00:08:07,899
Hold onto it, Marge.
171
00:08:07,934 --> 00:08:09,734
Hold on and never let go.
172
00:08:09,769 --> 00:08:11,769
- The moment?
- No, the rail!
173
00:08:29,088 --> 00:08:32,189
Oh, quit resting.
174
00:08:32,225 --> 00:08:35,126
We'd see classic movies
whenever we wanted.
175
00:09:10,263 --> 00:09:12,663
Hey, some of us are trying
to enjoy the movie.
176
00:09:12,699 --> 00:09:14,231
No, none of us are.
177
00:09:17,270 --> 00:09:19,670
At least I died before I'm 30!
178
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,107
_
179
00:09:21,107 --> 00:09:24,208
Yes, he was 47 when he made this film.
180
00:09:25,845 --> 00:09:27,311
Did you two lovebirds-a know
181
00:09:27,347 --> 00:09:29,080
there's a meteor shower tonight?
182
00:09:29,115 --> 00:09:32,216
Homie. We should drive
to the desert and watch it.
183
00:09:32,251 --> 00:09:35,653
What about the kids?
Oh, right, we have none.
184
00:09:44,397 --> 00:09:46,430
So why can't you do stuff like that now?
185
00:09:46,466 --> 00:09:47,765
Why do you think?
186
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,700
It couldn't be me, Booze 'n' snooze.
187
00:09:49,736 --> 00:09:51,268
Why you little...
188
00:09:51,304 --> 00:09:54,005
Marge!
189
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,774
Pick up the narrative!
190
00:09:56,809 --> 00:09:59,910
We were having the time of our lives.
191
00:10:00,241 --> 00:10:01,314
_
192
00:10:08,488 --> 00:10:11,502
And then it came.
193
00:10:11,502 --> 00:10:12,424
_
194
00:10:12,425 --> 00:10:13,791
Have some num-num.
195
00:10:13,826 --> 00:10:15,226
Who likes num-num?
196
00:10:15,261 --> 00:10:16,594
You like num-num?
197
00:10:16,629 --> 00:10:19,563
Oh, there's a meteor shower tonight.
198
00:10:19,599 --> 00:10:20,965
We'll do the next one.
199
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,701
It's in 187 years.
200
00:10:23,736 --> 00:10:25,936
Where are they coming from, outer space?
201
00:10:25,972 --> 00:10:27,304
Have some num-num.
202
00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:30,081
Who likes num-num? You like num-num?
203
00:10:31,014 --> 00:10:34,012
Where did this beautiful man go?
204
00:10:34,047 --> 00:10:35,280
Dad,
205
00:10:35,315 --> 00:10:37,449
I know it was fun to be young and free,
206
00:10:37,484 --> 00:10:40,485
but how could you ever replace us?
207
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,455
Pool table, jukebox, and
a vacation to Bermuda.
208
00:10:43,490 --> 00:10:45,257
Dad! Can you please get to the part
209
00:10:45,292 --> 00:10:48,126
where you reassure us how
glad you are we're here?
210
00:10:48,161 --> 00:10:50,662
Hey, as long as I'm the
pool table, I'm cool.
211
00:10:50,697 --> 00:10:52,197
Sweetie, I treasure you.
212
00:10:52,232 --> 00:10:53,465
But before you kids,
213
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,967
I used to know the names
of people in bands!
214
00:10:56,003 --> 00:10:58,670
And not just the singer,
but the guitar guy!
215
00:10:58,705 --> 00:11:03,174
And baby Bart was the worst son
of a bitch you could imagine.
216
00:11:03,210 --> 00:11:05,944
We were the first of
our friends to have a baby,
217
00:11:05,979 --> 00:11:07,979
so we got lots of attention.
218
00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:09,981
- Aw.
- Aw.
219
00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:12,951
Aw, hey, little man. Up high.
220
00:11:12,986 --> 00:11:14,686
Down low. Too slow.
221
00:11:18,725 --> 00:11:19,791
Again!
222
00:11:19,826 --> 00:11:21,893
All right. Up high.
223
00:11:23,263 --> 00:11:25,397
Oh! Ow! What was that?!
224
00:11:25,432 --> 00:11:27,365
Oh, that's tangelo! Come on!
225
00:11:27,401 --> 00:11:30,402
That's the most acidic
of all the citrus fruits!
226
00:11:30,437 --> 00:11:33,571
I see now that even
babies don't respect you.
227
00:11:33,607 --> 00:11:37,042
Were you planning on bringing
this brat to board game night?
228
00:11:37,077 --> 00:11:38,410
Oh, sea salt!
229
00:11:38,445 --> 00:11:40,612
The biggest crystals of all!
230
00:11:41,648 --> 00:11:43,148
We don't have a sitter.
231
00:11:43,183 --> 00:11:45,016
Invitation rescinded!
232
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,719
Next, baby Bart ruined
my one shot at success,
233
00:11:47,754 --> 00:11:50,422
my only fast pass to cash mountain.
234
00:11:50,457 --> 00:11:52,090
Yes, thank you. You won't be sorry.
235
00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:53,425
We're goin' places, Homer.
236
00:11:53,460 --> 00:11:55,160
Soon you'll be in a higher tax bracket.
237
00:11:55,195 --> 00:11:57,829
D'oh!
238
00:11:57,864 --> 00:11:59,998
What's that thing on your shoulder?
239
00:12:00,033 --> 00:12:01,733
Uh, my son.
240
00:12:01,768 --> 00:12:03,201
You can't have a kid.
241
00:12:03,236 --> 00:12:05,637
But I have a kid.
242
00:12:05,672 --> 00:12:08,173
A kid indicates you took time
away from me to conceive.
243
00:12:08,208 --> 00:12:09,975
It's like a virus. It starts spreading,
244
00:12:10,010 --> 00:12:11,943
and suddenly everyone's getting married
245
00:12:11,979 --> 00:12:13,078
when they should be working.
246
00:12:13,113 --> 00:12:14,546
Working. Always working.
247
00:12:14,581 --> 00:12:15,747
Ooh.
248
00:12:15,782 --> 00:12:17,882
I have a difficult choice here.
249
00:12:17,918 --> 00:12:20,919
You chose me over money?
250
00:12:20,954 --> 00:12:23,455
Ooh! I deserved that.
251
00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:25,790
And that. Now he's worth $10 billion.
252
00:12:25,826 --> 00:12:28,360
I still have his phone number,
but I've never called it.
253
00:12:28,395 --> 00:12:29,461
Well, why not?
254
00:12:29,496 --> 00:12:30,595
He loved you before.
255
00:12:30,630 --> 00:12:32,130
You're the same guy.
256
00:12:32,165 --> 00:12:33,231
Yeah!
257
00:12:34,601 --> 00:12:35,700
Homer Simpson?
258
00:12:35,736 --> 00:12:37,235
Buddy, is that you?
259
00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:39,604
I've been expecting this call for years.
260
00:12:39,639 --> 00:12:41,139
You remember me?
261
00:12:41,174 --> 00:12:43,908
Of course. I've been waiting
to say something to you.
262
00:12:43,944 --> 00:12:45,043
Are you ready?
263
00:12:45,078 --> 00:12:46,411
I sure am.
264
00:12:46,446 --> 00:12:48,747
Good-bye
265
00:12:48,782 --> 00:12:51,383
forever.
266
00:12:52,753 --> 00:12:54,719
Oh.
_
267
00:12:57,190 --> 00:12:59,724
Closure is supposed to be a good thing.
268
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:04,062
Also, I'm afraid, a newborn and
a journalism career did not mix.
269
00:13:04,097 --> 00:13:06,765
This is terrible! I wanted
quotes from the swing set,
270
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,299
not price quotes on swing sets.
271
00:13:10,103 --> 00:13:11,436
Party pics, not potty tips.
272
00:13:11,471 --> 00:13:13,238
Glitterati, not babysitterati.
273
00:13:13,273 --> 00:13:15,340
Are you getting my drift
or should I throw you an oar?
274
00:13:15,375 --> 00:13:18,476
It's important for new
parents to know this stuff.
275
00:13:18,512 --> 00:13:19,778
New parents? Eh.
276
00:13:19,813 --> 00:13:21,112
They're not the audience
for the Leisure Section.
277
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,447
All they care about are babies.
278
00:13:22,482 --> 00:13:24,249
Babies are boring. I'd
rather talk about soccer.
279
00:13:24,284 --> 00:13:25,285
And I hate soccer!
280
00:13:25,285 --> 00:13:26,851
Marge, do you like bacon?
281
00:13:26,887 --> 00:13:28,086
Yes, ac...
282
00:13:28,121 --> 00:13:29,654
Well, you got one last
chance to save yours.
283
00:13:29,689 --> 00:13:31,456
Get me a good nightlife
story, or I'm replacing you
284
00:13:31,491 --> 00:13:34,092
with someone with a nightlife,
Barbara Rellalinsky!
285
00:13:34,127 --> 00:13:36,628
I will get the scoop.
286
00:13:36,663 --> 00:13:38,296
- So,
- _
287
00:13:38,331 --> 00:13:41,299
you've moved into
painting giant schnozzes.
288
00:13:41,334 --> 00:13:43,768
Marge, the mouth has had its say.
289
00:13:43,804 --> 00:13:47,105
Now it's time to find out
what the nose knows.
290
00:13:47,140 --> 00:13:49,607
That's a pull-quote,
if ever I heard one.
291
00:13:49,643 --> 00:13:52,143
Pretty much everything
I say is quotable.
292
00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:54,279
Well, not that.
293
00:13:55,615 --> 00:13:57,248
What are you doing here?
294
00:13:57,284 --> 00:13:58,783
I'm so sorry, sweetie.
295
00:13:58,819 --> 00:14:00,318
I know it's my night to watch Bart,
296
00:14:00,353 --> 00:14:02,020
but he just won't stop fussing.
297
00:14:02,055 --> 00:14:04,823
Did you try driving around
to make him fall asleep?
298
00:14:04,858 --> 00:14:06,591
It only worked on me.
299
00:14:11,998 --> 00:14:15,200
Next stop: Somali Pirate Island.
300
00:14:15,235 --> 00:14:16,301
D'oh!
301
00:14:19,873 --> 00:14:22,207
Bunny!
302
00:14:32,752 --> 00:14:34,719
It's not art anymore!
303
00:14:34,754 --> 00:14:37,255
It's a misshapen lump on the floor!
304
00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:39,924
Not like this masterpiece!
305
00:14:41,709 --> 00:14:42,944
_
306
00:14:42,944 --> 00:14:44,362
Marge, this photo is dynamite!
307
00:14:44,397 --> 00:14:45,432
Thank you!
308
00:14:45,432 --> 00:14:46,731
Dynamite kills people!
309
00:14:46,766 --> 00:14:49,200
Thanks to your kid, we just
lost all our art advertising,
310
00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:51,402
the art gallery and Art's Deli,
which catered the event.
311
00:14:51,438 --> 00:14:53,404
You're fired! Turn in your
press card and your fedora!
312
00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,206
And I'm gonna erase your name
from this birthday card
313
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:57,142
we got for Doris.
314
00:14:57,177 --> 00:14:59,511
See? It's gone! She won't
miss it. She never liked you.
315
00:14:59,546 --> 00:15:01,713
But I still had the
greatest job in the world,
316
00:15:01,748 --> 00:15:04,149
I thought: Being a mom.
317
00:15:08,922 --> 00:15:10,255
Boy, if it wasn't for naptime,
_
318
00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:12,924
we'd have all been dead
from the stress years ago.
319
00:15:15,662 --> 00:15:16,950
_
320
00:15:18,231 --> 00:15:21,099
I didn't do it.
321
00:15:21,134 --> 00:15:23,768
You are banned forever from Gymdandee;
_
322
00:15:23,803 --> 00:15:26,571
our sister shops, Swimdandee
and Violindandee;
323
00:15:26,606 --> 00:15:28,773
and all other Kid Kennel
enrichment centers
324
00:15:28,808 --> 00:15:29,941
and baby prisons.
325
00:15:31,745 --> 00:15:33,444
Hey, Homer.
326
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,113
Haven't seen you in a while.
327
00:15:35,148 --> 00:15:36,614
I switched to donuts.
328
00:15:36,650 --> 00:15:38,116
Oy.
329
00:15:38,151 --> 00:15:39,817
Our dream life crumbling,
330
00:15:39,853 --> 00:15:42,620
Homie and I sought
counseling at the church.
331
00:15:42,656 --> 00:15:44,122
_
332
00:15:44,157 --> 00:15:47,392
You were so very wise to
bring your problems here.
333
00:15:47,427 --> 00:15:49,394
Now, won't you bow your heads
334
00:15:49,429 --> 00:15:51,462
and watch this video.
335
00:15:51,498 --> 00:15:54,299
_
336
00:15:54,334 --> 00:15:57,402
_
337
00:15:57,437 --> 00:16:00,205
Hello. I'm Professor Thernstrom,
338
00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:04,142
author of Fractured Families
and How to Heal Them.
339
00:16:04,177 --> 00:16:07,645
I think we all know who
Professor Thernstrom is.
340
00:16:07,681 --> 00:16:09,547
Play the video.
341
00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:11,482
Jane was an only child.
342
00:16:11,518 --> 00:16:13,818
And science has proven
that only children
343
00:16:13,853 --> 00:16:15,286
are lonely children
344
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:18,389
and lonely children are evil children.
345
00:16:23,129 --> 00:16:26,497
Jane's problems became
the family's problems.
346
00:16:26,533 --> 00:16:28,800
_
347
00:16:32,305 --> 00:16:35,006
They came to see me,
and, nine months later,
348
00:16:35,041 --> 00:16:37,275
Joe was born, and all was well.
349
00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:38,943
Do not undertake procreation alone.
350
00:16:38,979 --> 00:16:40,878
Warning: second child
may cause loss of money,
351
00:16:40,914 --> 00:16:42,413
limited vacations, and reduced sleep.
352
00:16:42,449 --> 00:16:44,148
Do not have a second child
if you have heart problems,
353
00:16:44,184 --> 00:16:45,950
are pregnant, or want to
keep your spare bedroom.
354
00:16:45,986 --> 00:16:48,686
In rare cases, sibling
rivalry may occur.
355
00:16:51,658 --> 00:16:52,890
That's it, Homie!
356
00:16:52,926 --> 00:16:54,292
That's the answer!
357
00:16:54,327 --> 00:16:56,294
We're having another child.
358
00:16:56,329 --> 00:16:57,562
But just the one.
359
00:16:57,597 --> 00:16:59,197
We're not Catholics.
360
00:16:59,232 --> 00:17:01,733
And so we decided to have Lisa.
361
00:17:01,768 --> 00:17:03,401
That's what this was building to?
362
00:17:03,436 --> 00:17:06,070
I thought this was the story
of how we got our furnace.
363
00:17:06,106 --> 00:17:08,606
Who would care how we got the furnace?
364
00:17:08,642 --> 00:17:09,643
I would care.
365
00:17:09,643 --> 00:17:10,942
It came with the house.
366
00:17:10,977 --> 00:17:12,844
Mystery solved!
367
00:17:17,770 --> 00:17:20,682
_
368
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:23,050
Finally, he's asleep.
Let's make another.
369
00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:25,052
- Mmm, mmm.
- No. Oh, not here.
370
00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:27,922
He might wake up. The only safe
place is out on the fire escape.
371
00:17:27,957 --> 00:17:29,523
What if firemen need it?
_
372
00:17:29,559 --> 00:17:31,525
I'll be quick.
373
00:17:32,628 --> 00:17:36,163
Now Mother Nature does the rest.
374
00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:39,800
Hmm...
375
00:17:42,371 --> 00:17:44,939
Duh, girls don't like me.
376
00:17:52,949 --> 00:17:54,048
Hey! No fair!
377
00:17:54,083 --> 00:17:56,050
Hey, where did he get those glasses?
378
00:17:56,085 --> 00:17:58,619
The saxophone makes sense,
but the glasses don't?
379
00:17:58,654 --> 00:18:00,154
Shut up, you!
380
00:18:00,189 --> 00:18:02,156
Shut up!
381
00:18:05,828 --> 00:18:08,929
And so after a lot
of late-night ice cream
382
00:18:08,965 --> 00:18:10,194
and pickles,
383
00:18:10,194 --> 00:18:11,532
Lisa was born.
384
00:18:11,567 --> 00:18:13,000
And the best part was
385
00:18:13,035 --> 00:18:16,203
Bart became the calmest
boy in the whole world.
386
00:18:16,238 --> 00:18:17,671
More or less.
387
00:18:17,707 --> 00:18:19,006
Why, you...
388
00:18:19,041 --> 00:18:22,476
You delightful little blessing.
389
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:27,448
Someone's gonna need
four months of rehab.
390
00:18:27,483 --> 00:18:29,383
Not covered by insurance.
391
00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:34,054
So a family with kids is a
different kind of happy,
392
00:18:34,090 --> 00:18:35,723
but still happy.
393
00:18:35,758 --> 00:18:38,325
Wow. Just, uh... wow.
394
00:18:38,361 --> 00:18:39,727
Hey, where's your wife?
395
00:18:39,762 --> 00:18:42,062
Uh, she left me forever
during your story.
396
00:18:42,098 --> 00:18:44,331
If you look out the window,
you can probably see her.
397
00:18:44,367 --> 00:18:45,733
Oh.
398
00:18:45,768 --> 00:18:47,267
Why did you leave?!
399
00:18:47,303 --> 00:18:49,937
Because I never want to be
stuck with people like you
400
00:18:49,972 --> 00:18:53,641
who stunt each other's growth
with your rampant dysfunction!
401
00:18:54,910 --> 00:18:57,544
Quick. Family smile.
402
00:18:57,580 --> 00:18:59,046
Our lives are great!
403
00:18:59,081 --> 00:19:02,650
We left out the happy parts
because they were boring!
404
00:19:02,718 --> 00:19:05,019
Nothing wrong with this picture.
405
00:19:09,558 --> 00:19:10,691
Get over here, Lisa.
406
00:19:10,726 --> 00:19:12,192
The only way humanity survives
407
00:19:12,228 --> 00:19:15,596
is if people perpetuate this lie.
408
00:19:15,631 --> 00:19:17,064
Well, why is she frowning?
409
00:19:17,099 --> 00:19:19,199
Is there some unhappiness you're hiding?
410
00:19:19,235 --> 00:19:20,701
Um...
411
00:19:20,736 --> 00:19:23,604
I'm gonna stake my whole
marriage on what you do next!
412
00:19:23,639 --> 00:19:25,572
Smile. Don't be a dink.
413
00:19:25,641 --> 00:19:26,907
Mm...
414
00:19:29,045 --> 00:19:31,612
I love you, Miles!
415
00:19:35,418 --> 00:19:36,717
You did it, sweetie.
416
00:19:36,752 --> 00:19:38,585
You saved two bad marriages.
417
00:19:38,621 --> 00:19:40,921
What's the first bad marriage?
418
00:19:40,956 --> 00:19:42,189
Uh, I miscounted.
419
00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,024
You saved one bad marriage. Just one.
420
00:19:45,128 --> 00:19:47,663
Aw, reminds me of the
first time we hugged.
421
00:19:47,663 --> 00:19:48,698
Great story.
422
00:19:48,698 --> 00:19:50,030
Get out.
423
00:19:50,066 --> 00:19:52,199
Well, we may not be ethical,
424
00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:53,934
but we're a great team.
425
00:19:53,969 --> 00:19:56,270
Just like Fred and Ethical.
426
00:19:56,305 --> 00:19:57,805
Want to tell us how Maggie was born?
427
00:19:57,840 --> 00:19:59,273
We told you that story.
428
00:19:59,308 --> 00:20:01,608
- And how we got the dog?
- Found him at Christmas.
429
00:20:01,644 --> 00:20:04,477
- And the origin of the cat?
- Nobody cares.
430
00:20:04,992 --> 00:20:07,487
This was a nice idea, Homie.
_
431
00:20:07,717 --> 00:20:09,217
I'm glad we came back here.
432
00:20:09,252 --> 00:20:10,485
Just the two of us.
433
00:20:13,022 --> 00:20:14,922
Just imagine what they'd do
434
00:20:14,958 --> 00:20:16,991
if Grampa wasn't watching them.
435
00:20:17,026 --> 00:20:19,260
I wish I'd never had kids.
436
00:20:19,295 --> 00:20:22,263
Thank God there's no munitions
left in the factory.
437
00:20:22,298 --> 00:20:23,598
Never too late for another!
438
00:20:23,633 --> 00:20:25,867
No one's made it out in a half century!
439
00:20:25,902 --> 00:20:27,902
I didn't even know
there were five of us!
440
00:20:33,443 --> 00:20:34,876
Make room! What the...?
441
00:20:34,911 --> 00:20:36,544
How did you get in here?
442
00:20:36,579 --> 00:20:38,179
Mind your own business.
443
00:20:38,690 --> 00:20:43,894
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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