Original subtitles

Why, it's ridiculous.

The very thought of it is absolutely ridiculous.

We have reason to believe otherwise, major.

Von Etske, escape from here?

Mr. Solo, I have been the commandant in this prison for 25 years.

I have developed a security system that should be the envy of U.N.C.L.E. itself.

- What's more-- - Major, we're not here to criticize you.

Then don't.

We have had any number of war criminals here.

People every bit as important as Etske.

And no one, no one has ever escaped.

Perhaps you're overdue.

Now, just a minute--

Well, in that case, we'd like to see Von Etske.

All right. As soon as he gets back to his cell, I'll take you there.

- Where is he now? - On the way to the exercise yard.

I trust you don't expect him to make his escape from there.

[MARCHING MUSIC PLAYING]

[CAMERA CLICKS]

[DEVICE HUMS]

Drop it. Drop it or we shoot.

I suggest you salute me instead.

[DEVICE HUMS]

Now, gentlemen...

...you will proceed with your duties as though nothing had occurred.

Good day, gentlemen.

[DEVICE HUMS]

- All right, if you can't wait for an old man-- - I'm afraid we can't.

Front gate.

[DEVICE HUMMING]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

ETSKE: Open the gate, please.

Thank you, gentlemen.

What do you--? What do you mean, no answer?

There must be an answer.

[TAPPING PHONE CRADLE]

[DEVICE HUMS]

[ENGINE STARTS]

[TELEPHONE RINGING]

- Von Etske, where is he? - The gate's open.

The guards have no recollection of what happened.

Apparently, it's some sort of brainwashing technique.

Well, I'll darken your day further, Mr. Solo.

Our original information was correct.

Colonel Nexor is definitely behind it all.

Nexor?

Maximilian Nexor? But he's been dead for years.

Are you certain of it, sir?

I'm not in the habit of passing on rumors, Mr. Solo.

But I was at his funeral.

I mean, I hated everything he stood for, but....

Yeah. Uh, we'll follow every possible lead, sir.

I should certainly hope so.

I want you to find Nexor, Mr. Solo.

And Von Etske.

And quickly. Over and out.

They found the limousine abandoned in the middle of nowhere.

Mm. They must have switched cars.

Major Hartmann, did Von Etske have any recent visitors?

No. No one was allowed to see him, not for 25 years.

- Anybody try? - Oh, yes. Frequently, of course.

Newspaper writers and photographers.

After all, he was the last link with a criminal regime.

- Did you keep any record of the requests? - Naturally.

The last entrant was only this morning.

It was a charming young lady.

A photographer. Her name is Terry Cook.

Oh, no, it can't be.

SOLO: Miss Cook?

[GASPS]

SOLO: Uh, sorry we frightened you.

We're from U.N.C.L.E.

TERRY: Hm!

Is this the film you took at Kragensburg Prison today?

Wow. In that light, your face.

- I thought it was that awful man in the car. - What man?

The man who was running the whole show. You could be this twin.

I doubt that.

The man we're looking for was 55 at the end of World War II.

Who was he?

Miss Cook, uh, what were you doing up there?

I was trying to get a picture of Von Etske.

That's what I do for a living. I'm a professional photographer.

Well, this film is completely fogged. That's not very professional.

I know my business.

There was nothing was wrong with my camera, the film or the solutions.

And you didn't answer my question.

- Who was the man in the car? - Perhaps your shutter jammed.

No, that couldn't be.

The film is fogged all the way over to the sprocket holes.

Hey, maybe it was that thing they shot over the wall.

- What thing? - What did it look like?

Well, it was metallic. It had a sort of a glow.

You better rush that film over to the lab.

Um, Von Etske, he hasn't been caught yet?

- Mm? - I guess not.

I've been listening to the radio ever since I got back.

Not a word about the escape.

Big secret, huh?

You know, you might as well take me along.

- You can't keep anything from the press. - It's been real.

Um, might as well call me Terry.

- As we're gonna be working together. - Oh, no, I'm afraid not.

Oh, you can trust me.

I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize a good story.

[RADIO BEEPING]

Solo here.

And exactly where is here, Mr. Solo?

Well, I'm with a rather attractive photographer, sir.

And Mr. Kuryakin?

He's on his way to the Kragensburg lab to have the film analyzed.

No word on Von Etske since he abandoned the escape car.

I want you on the move, Mr. Solo. Handling the checkpoints.

- All right, leaving immediately, sir. - Not without me, you don't.

Oh, and one thing more.

Von Etske will have to keep in the shadows.

His face is well-known.

However, Nexor's is not.

So he may move into the open.

That's not much help, sir. I don't know what he looks like.

But I do.

What was that?

That is my new partner, sir.

Over and out.

This, gentlemen, is Marshal Zorgon Gurnius.

The youngest Axis dictator during Hitler's heyday.

Trusted by no one.

Not even by Hitler.

Missing and presumed to be dead, until now.

This, his vicious aide.

You might say his Himmler.

Colonel Maximilian Nexor.

Also thought to be dead, until now.

Not a very engaging picture of him, I admit.

Unfortunately, his face was never photographed.

This, the third member of the evil triumvirate...

...Dr. Hans Von Etske.

Scientist, genius, paranoid.

And now at large, thanks to Colonel Nexor.

Well, gentlemen, we have very good reason to believe...

...that these three men plan to join forces again.

Hopefully, Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin will nip their scheme in the bud.

If not, it will be up to you and your worldwide intelligence units...

...to learn where their rendezvous is to take place.

[SIREN WAILING]

They must have a roadblock ahead. Do you think they will stop us?

NEXOR: It's possible.

The barrier. They're not moving it.

NEXOR: How unfortunate.

[GUNSHOTS]

[SIREN WAILING]

Interesting residual data. Seems to confirm a radiation spectrum.

ILLYA: And that's what fogged the film?

MAN: Yes, but it's, uh, not at all harmful to human beings.

It's orometchrome B, there's no doubt about it.

ILLYA: I'm afraid I need a refresher course.

MAN: Orometchrome B.

It has transistor qualities.

Capable of projecting electronic waves with great amplification.

- Projecting brainwashing waves? - Correct.

- It's a very rare metal. - How rare?

Well, as far as we know...

...orometchrome B is found only in the high volcanic reaches...

...of the South American republic of San Rico.

[RADIO BEEPING]

I've heard that Thrush has a science-astronomy lab in that area.

Excuse me. Kuryakin here.

Illya? Are you still at the lab?

Yes, we've just found out what fogged the film.

All right, then listen carefully.

They've just grabbed an ambulance and broken through at Checkpoint Ranger.

Headed east toward Dietrichhoffe.

Dietrichhoffe?

Yeah, I know where that is.

All right, now, there's an abandoned airstrip about six kilometers west of this town.

That's probably their pickup point. Terry.

Well, from where I am, I can be there in 20 minutes.

That's why I called. All right, I'll meet you there.

It's a long shot, Illya.

Our only hope is that the pickup has been delayed.

[ENGINE STARTS]

- The helicopter, where is it? NEXOR: Patience.

But-- But it is a half hour late.

Colonel Nexor.

NEXOR: Run.

[GRUNTS]

No need for guns.

Napoleon, he's got that thing.

ETSKE: Uh, I surrender.

I-- I have no gun, see?

[DEVICE HUMMING]

Now you will sleep.

When you awaken, you will have no memory of this incident.

Nexor? Colonel Nexor.

Colonel Nexor, he has been detained. We will go.

[GRUNTING]

WAVERLY: Now, again. Your name please?

How long must we continue this fatuous cross examination?

My name is Nexor, Colonel Maximilian Nexor.

- Colonel Maximilian Nexor is dead. - His image lives on in the son.

Marshal Gurnius saw to that.

I was made to resemble my father, to perpetuate the myth.

Why? To what end?

To instill fear into the hearts of our glorious leader's enemies.

Not bad. Not bad at all, Mr. Kuryakin. Excellent in fact.

It will get better as I go along. I hope.

Good.

Our South American intelligence unit informs us...

...that Gurnius has been seen in San Rico.

Mr. Solo is already there.

If and when Von Etske arrives there and Mr. Solo can't intercept him...

...well, I'm afraid it's entirely up to you...

...to find out exactly where they are...

...what they're up to, and stop them.

How do I make contact with their people?

We've spread the word in San Rico that Nexor escaped.

They'll contact you.

Or kill you.

- Well, good luck, Mr. Kuryakin. - Thank you, sir.

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

- Who is it? TERRY: An old friend, Mr. Solo.

Can I come in?

- It wasn't easy to find you. - Well, I hope not.

It took a lot of time and money. A number of contacts.

Oh, I'm not disturbing you am I?

The fact that you're here is disturbing enough.

Now, listen, Terry. I want you to go home, and stay out--

What? Having come this far?

Oh, you wouldn't think much of me if I did that, would you?

Oh, I can see the headlines now:

Napoleon Solo, U.N.C.L.E. agent in charge of the search for Von Etske...

...seen relaxing in his San Rico hotel room.

All right. You can stay on one condition.

- No pictures. - Oh, come on, now.

I mean it. Listen, U.N.C.L.E. has a little influence around the world.

I can have you thrown out of San Rico in a matter--

[RADIO BEEPING]

SOLO: Hm.

Solo here.

Mr. Solo, we've confirmed that Von Etske arrived in San Rico.

- Then he is here. - What was that?

A young lady, sir.

The same one who--?

Mm, yeah, the same one who, uh....

Oh.

Well, you know the next step, Mr. Solo.

Over and out.

Same one, hm? Hm.

TERRY: Well, what is the next step?

Uh, right now a hot bath, if you don't mind.

[GRUNTING]

[SOLO COUGHING]

[SOLO SIGHS]

[SOLO COUGHS]

[PANTING]

My camera's broken.

I'm all right, thank you.

I guess that was one of Nexor's men?

- Yeah, it was indeed. - Well, how did he ever find you?

Well, you're not the only one with a few contacts.

Gurnius.

Marshal Gurnius.

[LAUGHING]

I didn't send for you.

What are you doing here?

I, uh-- I bring greetings to Marshal Gurnius from Thrush.

I know you didn't send for me...

...but unfortunately, Thrush wants to protect its investment.

After all, $4 billion....

Uh, you don't mind?

Small price to pay to control the world, Mr. Brown.

You're not needed here.

Von Etske's escape came off.

By the thinnest of margins.

I'm sorry, but from now on, I am in command here.

I'll be back in command, as soon as Nexor arrives.

Perhaps.

[LAUGHING]

MAN: Colonel Nexor.

Sergeant Medrin, sir. At you service.

Why the reception committee?

An U.N.C.L.E. agent was seen here in San Rico.

It would be disastrous if the colonel didn't get through.

- Did you doubt that I wouldn't? - No, sir.

This U.N.C.L.E. agent, has he been identified?

MEDRIN: Yes, sir. Napoleon Solo.

Has he been disposed of?

Uh, no, sir. We tried, but--

Good. I will dispose of him myself.

I have ways of disposing with people like him.

No doubt you have heard of my ways.

[ENGINE STARTS]

Sorry about the camera.

Mm, who needs pictures? I can always write the story.

- You never give up, do you? - You'll find out.

I did.

I just heard you make that call to the news service.

Hey, that's interfering with the freedom of the press.

Well, it's just sort of delaying it a bit until we get some results from Homer.

- Who's Homer? - Not who, what.

It's a sort of miniature radar.

It homes in on a special signal and with luck, tracks it.

Who do we track?

Whoever's on the other end.

- It's a very humid country. - Yes, sir.

- Here let me hold it. - Don't touch me.

You don't ever touch me, you understand?

- Sorry, sir, I forgot about your-- - My what?

That's it, we're tracking. Get the car.

- It's waiting at the entrance. - Okay.

[HOMER BEEPING]

[BEEPING INTENSIFIES]

[BEEPING STOPS]

It's not working. What happened?

- What's that? - Sort of an electronic wall.

- It blanks out any tracking signals. - Does that mean we lost them?

Uh-huh.

It's their car.

- Where did they go? - Shh.

[WHISPERS] Maybe in the house.

[SCREAMS]

Colonel Maximilian Nexor, reporting for duty, sir.

[GURNIUS CHUCKLES]

Unbelievable.

Almost an exact replica of your father.

An exact replica of my father, Marshal Gurnius.

How do you know he really is the son?

Who is this man and what is his function?

I assume you've heard of Thrush? Heh.

Mr. Brown is here to protect their investment.

If you really are Nexor, why didn't you try to communicate with us?

Answer me.

I suggest you choose your words with care, Mr. Brown.

Why didn't you try to contact our people?

How did you get to San Rico without our help?

I don't care who you are, Mr. Brown. I don't care who your people are either.

Because I have only one loyalty: to our leader and inspiration.

Marshal Gurnius.

I suggest you impress that upon your mind.

GURNIUS: Are you satisfied, Mr. Brown?

Not quite.

I have arranged for absolute confirmation.

Von Etske.

Sir?

Is that Nexor?

Colonel Nexor.

Von Etske.

[LAUGHING]

Up on the highest point, almost to the sky...

...this big, round house.

- What does it look like? - I never see.

My people, they are afraid.

Never go so high.

They say there is a big gun stick out from that house.

Even bigger than the cannon of the conquistadors.

A cannon? What does he mean?

Sounds like a Thrush observatory. Imagine the gun as a telescope.

How do we get there?

You see the two rocks? They go off-trail.

It starts there.

All right.

205 to Installation.

Solo and girl on their way up trail.

GURNIUS: Our own power plant. ILLYA: Magnificent.

GURNIUS: We are on top of the Western world...

...completely self-contained.

And, uh, the security measures?

Well, all trails leading here are covered. No one can penetrate without being seen.

And no one except us can send or receive signals from here.

- It's quite efficient. - Naturally, Colonel Nexor.

- After all, this is a Thrush installation. - Of course, Mr. Brown.

Ha, ha. Well, I'm sure you will plug up any loopholes there may be.

MEDRIN: Right on time, Mr. Solo.

Let's go.

Oh, my profoundest apologies, Marshal Gurnius.

I have failed to congratulate you on the brilliance of your scheme.

It is remarkable, isn't it?

ILLYA: The world will soon pay homage to your greatness.

Beginning with the United States of America.

Most fitting.

It was of course Thrush that selected the target.

With Marshal Gurnius's approval, of course.

Ah. But it was made to order, of course.

In a few hours, the president of the United States...

...will address a joint session of Congress.

Every military and political figure will be present.

The perfect target.

Upon which Dr. Von Etske's device will be brought to bear.

By evening, we shall control America.

Good.

Yeah.

GURNIUS: Von Etske, the device.

- You know how it works, of course. ILLYA: I have seen what it does.

- How it works is entirely another question. GURNIUS: Ha, ha.

We are about to begin a final equipment test.

Perhaps you gentlemen would like to see it?

Power on.

Maximum amplitude.

My device features the metal, orometchrome B.

- Using it, we transmit alpha waves. - Alpha waves?

Yes, primary sleep waves.

They have the same effect as highway reflector signs have on tired drivers.

Very good.

And this panel multiplies the power of our signal astronomically.

Zero target.

MAN: Target zero. ILLYA: Why the telescope?

ETSKE: Ah, the telescope. Ja.

Used in reverse, a wave gun...

...through this, my mind waves can be projected and pinpointed.

[CHUCKLES]

Who needs an army when we can control the thoughts of man?

ETSKE: Indeed.

In just a few hours, we shall have in our pocket...

...the government of the United States.

And tomorrow the world?

[CHUCKLES]

Colonel Nexor.

A special present, sir.

I can't say I'm surprised, colonel.

You know each other?

Like a hunter knows its prey.

At last the roles are reversed, Mr. Solo.

I am the hunter and you are the cornered animal.

[TERRY SCREAMS]

What am I going to do with you, Mr. Solo?

- Kill him. - Of course.

But slowly. My way.

Just like his father.

We have less than an hour to target time. I insist you kill him immediately.

Whatever Marshal Gurnius commands.

Well, perhaps Mr. Brown would find a demonstration enlightening.

[CHUCKLING]

ILLYA: Mr. Solo.

You are going to regret the day you were ever born.

Shall we raise the voltage?

You are one of a kind that I despise, Mr. Brown.

Always impatient, always in a hurry.

- Well, he's still conscious. - Of course he's still conscious.

Otherwise, the treatment would be useless.

We haven't much time, Colonel Nexor. We must get to the control room.

I realize, Marshal Gurnius, that you may have certain matters that are more pressing.

May I most respectfully suggest that you go on ahead?

- I will, uh-- - Nonsense, nonsense, colonel.

We must still have a few minutes. Besides I'm rather enjoying this.

I'll check central control.

Can't stand much more.

You are not as young as you used to be, Mr. Solo.

Uh-uh.

Central control?

Gurnius speaking. Put Von Etske on.

MAN [ON TV]: The president has left the White House now...

...and is due to arrive at the Capitol momentarily.

Gathered in the Capitol are the president's official family.

Members of the House and the Senate, cabinet officials--

- Von Etske. - Are we on time?

The president is en route to the Capitol.

He will be at target zero in less than 10 minutes.

- Ha, ha. - Let's go. Kill him.

ILLYA: I'll join you when I'm finished.

I say kill him now.

Mr. Brown, if I kill him my way...

...he will stay dead much, much longer.

[GURNIUS CHUCKLES]

My dear Nexor, we must go to the control room.

But I don't want to miss the conclusion.

There will be other times.

[GURNIUS CHUCKLES]

BROWN: Single-minded fool.

We're about to control the world...

...he has to have his last ounce of vengeance.

Guard the door. See that I'm not be disturbed in my work.

Yes, sir.

[DOOR CLOSES]

ILLYA: Bite, hard.

- You killed him. - Scream, scream.

- Aah! - Loud!

[TERRY SCREAMING]

[DOOR OPENS]

He killed him, I saw him. He killed him.

Well, it appears the efficient Colonel Nexor...

...has made a regrettable mistake.

So quite obviously you didn't examine him thoroughly enough for suicide pills.

He must have had this one in his mouth all the time.

May I suggest a mistake on your part, Mr. Brown?

If Dr. Von Etske's device can control the world for Marshal Gurnius...

...for what does he need you?

You wouldn't dare defy the power of Thrush.

Ha, ha. I already have dared, Mr. Brown.

Today, our target is the United States of America.

Tomorrow, Thrush Central.

Well, it seems that you and I together, think of everything.

Come with me to the control room, share my moment of triumph.

Ah. In just a moment, Marshal Gurnius.

There is still the question of the young lady.

[GURNIUS CHUCKLES]

Just like your father.

- No, please, don't hurt me. - Shh, listen to me.

I am not Colonel Nexor. My name is Illya Kuryakin.

- Who? - Never mind about that.

Now, just listen to me.

- What are you doing? - Napoleon is not dead.

But his life depends upon you. Listen to everything I say.

Shoot this hypodermic needle into his arm.

When he revives, give him this.

It shows the exact location of the power plant.

And hurry.

He will know what to do. And hurry.

[GASPS]

The wires, take them off, take them off.

[GROANS]

That Colonel Nexor, he says he's not Colonel Nexor at all.

He's your friend, Illya.

Our friendship is being strained.

Well, he gave me this diagram.

He said it shows where the power plant's located.

MAN [ON TV]: He is expected to touch upon all of these issues in the address.

The speech is being eagerly awaited in the capitals of the world...

...and comment on it is expected shortly after its conclusion.

Immediately after the talk is completed...

...we'll have our own analysis by a panel--

Voltage.

And now, ladies and gentlemen, the president has arrived....

MAN: On target, sir. - On target, sir.

Good, good.

[SCREAMS]

- What is wrong? MAN: I don't understand.

- Well, fix it, fix it! MAN: Emergency power, quick!

- Traitor. GUARD: Here!

Don't kill him. I want him alive.

Bring him over here.

We've switched to emergency power, sir.

MAN [ON TV]: And now, ladies and gentlemen...

...the president of the United States.

ETSKE: Ready primary target.

MAN: Primary wave is set.

ETSKE: Four, three, two....

[GRUNTING]

[EXPLOSION IN DISTANCE]

But, Mr. Waverly, it's the biggest story I ever had.

I'm sorry, my dear. We've clamped the tightest security on the whole affair.

- It wouldn't make any difference, Terry. - It wouldn't?

Even if you went to the newspapers, they wouldn't believe you.

Saving the world from a mind-grabbing machine.

You think anyone would take you seriously?

Unless you had the film to back you up.

With the gratitude and compliments of U.N.C.L.E.

Oh.

Just a minute, Miss Cook.

This is a top-secret installation.

Which means, unfortunately, no pictures.

[ENGLISH SDH]