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Subs created by: David Coleman.
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Tony, I've got a great idea for
what we can do this Saturday!
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00:00:06,148 --> 00:00:08,116
I bet we're thinking the same thing!
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00:00:08,117 --> 00:00:10,805
- Art museum.
- Go bowling.
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00:00:10,806 --> 00:00:13,687
Okay, you know I love
going bowling with you and
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00:00:13,688 --> 00:00:16,773
eating hot wings while
inhaling shoe disinfectant.
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00:00:16,774 --> 00:00:18,661
But we just went bowling last weekend.
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Because the weekend
before we went to The Met.
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Which, by the way, had nothing
to do with the actual Mets!
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00:00:25,139 --> 00:00:28,028
Yeah, I'm sorry you had to walk
around the museum with a baseball mitt,
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00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:31,035
but I did buy you peanuts.
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00:00:31,036 --> 00:00:32,588
So, you want to grab some lunch?
13
00:00:32,589 --> 00:00:34,418
As nice as that sounds, I can't.
14
00:00:34,419 --> 00:00:38,216
I'm stuck training some new doorman named
Vic who probably can't tell push from pull.
15
00:00:38,217 --> 00:00:40,485
- Is that really a problem?
- You'd be surprised.
16
00:00:40,486 --> 00:00:44,929
Look at the hinges
people. Look at the hinges!
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00:00:44,930 --> 00:00:49,130
Yo, Tony, it's me, your new doorman!
18
00:00:51,723 --> 00:00:53,763
Uh-oh.
19
00:00:54,367 --> 00:00:57,435
I'm Vicky Montesano,
Theresa's little sister.
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00:00:57,436 --> 00:00:59,571
You probably don't
recognize me since I lost the
21
00:00:59,572 --> 00:01:02,274
braces and had the
nostril reduction surgery.
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00:01:02,275 --> 00:01:04,675
Better, see?
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00:01:06,212 --> 00:01:09,632
Holy Cannoli! Little Vicky?
24
00:01:09,735 --> 00:01:14,959
Now I remember! I can still picture
you in your Catholic school uniform!
25
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:18,980
Okay, you can stop doing that now.
26
00:01:19,081 --> 00:01:20,325
Hi, I'm Vic.
27
00:01:20,326 --> 00:01:22,360
Tony and me go way back.
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00:01:22,361 --> 00:01:26,501
Hi, I'm Jessie. Tony and I go out.
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They're going to snap
him like a wishbone.
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♪Oh, oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh.
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♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie.
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♪It feels like a party every day.
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00:01:42,191 --> 00:01:45,551
♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie.
34
00:01:45,632 --> 00:01:49,435
♪But they keep on
pulling me every which way.
35
00:01:49,436 --> 00:01:52,694
♪Hey Jessie, hey Jessie.
36
00:01:52,695 --> 00:01:56,041
♪My whole world is
changing. Turning around.
37
00:01:56,042 --> 00:01:59,874
♪They got me going crazy.
Yeah, they're shaking the ground.
38
00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:03,582
♪But they took a chance
on the new girl in town.
39
00:02:03,583 --> 00:02:07,166
♪And I don't want to
let them down, down, down.
40
00:02:07,167 --> 00:02:09,687
♪Hey Jessie.
41
00:02:10,590 --> 00:02:13,110
♪Hey Jessie.
42
00:02:14,361 --> 00:02:17,912
♪It feels like a party every day.
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00:02:17,913 --> 00:02:21,933
♪Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Jessie.
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What are you guys making?
45
00:02:32,566 --> 00:02:34,546
Toast.
46
00:02:34,735 --> 00:02:37,704
And my doctor wonders why I'm tense.
47
00:02:37,705 --> 00:02:39,882
He says my stress levels
are somewhere between...
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" Getaway driver" and "shark whisperer".
49
00:02:43,069 --> 00:02:47,174
Bertram, if you are serious about
getting healthier, maybe we can help you.
50
00:02:47,175 --> 00:02:49,649
Really? Aw, I'm touched that you care.
51
00:02:49,650 --> 00:02:54,262
Hey, we don't want anything to
happen to the guy who buys our food.
52
00:02:54,263 --> 00:02:56,723
And we care.
53
00:02:57,025 --> 00:03:00,435
Well, anything you guys come up
with will better than my plan.
54
00:03:00,436 --> 00:03:04,096
Which is to buy bigger pants.
55
00:03:05,075 --> 00:03:08,495
Do they make bigger pants?
56
00:03:11,672 --> 00:03:13,473
Hey, girls.
57
00:03:13,474 --> 00:03:15,466
Vic, why don't you go sort the mail?
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00:03:15,467 --> 00:03:16,985
You got it.
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00:03:16,986 --> 00:03:21,720
If I get a paper cut will you
kiss it and make it feel better?
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00:03:21,721 --> 00:03:24,684
There's a first aid kit.
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00:03:24,685 --> 00:03:28,561
Vic is doing great. I mean,
she's really fitting in.
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00:03:28,562 --> 00:03:31,880
Especially into her uniform.
Really shows off her...
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00:03:31,881 --> 00:03:34,041
Epaulets.
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00:03:34,204 --> 00:03:36,751
Tony, can you give me a hand?
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00:03:36,752 --> 00:03:38,882
Sure, Vic.
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00:03:38,883 --> 00:03:40,605
I forgot it was catalog day!
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00:03:40,606 --> 00:03:43,606
Lift with your legs!
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00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,356
Jessie, aren't you worried about this?
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00:03:46,357 --> 00:03:47,846
Of course not!
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00:03:47,847 --> 00:03:51,049
But they're gonna be in that
little room together, lifting...
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00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:53,750
With their legs!
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00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:56,724
Look, I totally trust Tony.
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00:03:56,725 --> 00:04:01,945
Now let's go to the park
and pray. I mean, play.
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00:04:02,485 --> 00:04:05,454
Meditation can help
you reduce your stress.
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00:04:05,455 --> 00:04:08,995
Begin by clearing your mind.
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00:04:14,264 --> 00:04:17,366
I said clear your mind, not the DVR.
77
00:04:17,367 --> 00:04:20,429
But I want to watch Extreme
Crafting Death Match.
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00:04:20,430 --> 00:04:23,965
I love when they do
battle in The Yarn Barn.
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00:04:23,966 --> 00:04:27,488
No! Now, concentrate on your breathing.
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00:04:27,489 --> 00:04:32,289
In through your nose,
out through your mouth.
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00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:39,763
Oh, what is that horrible smell?
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00:04:39,764 --> 00:04:44,024
Perhaps you relaxed a little too much.
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00:04:46,362 --> 00:04:48,117
Okay!
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00:04:48,118 --> 00:04:50,639
There's no bigger fan of sitting
and doing nothing than me,
85
00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:54,120
but I can't take this awful stench!
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00:04:54,121 --> 00:04:57,481
What is that awful aroma?
87
00:05:01,019 --> 00:05:05,214
Luke, why are you spreading your stench?
88
00:05:05,215 --> 00:05:08,727
Because your mumbo jumbo is not going
to help Bertram get rid of his stress.
89
00:05:08,728 --> 00:05:11,658
Oh, so you think you have a better idea?
90
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:12,882
Always.
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00:05:12,883 --> 00:05:16,874
What Bertram needs is exercise.
You know, to work up a sweat.
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00:05:16,875 --> 00:05:21,081
Smells like you have worked
up enough for both of you!
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00:05:21,082 --> 00:05:23,602
It's a gift!
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00:05:27,403 --> 00:05:32,084
Jessie, remember you told me about a guy
you dated in high school named Ted Hoover?
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00:05:32,085 --> 00:05:34,917
Sure, he's the only guy I ever dumped.
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00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,378
You dumped him?
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00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:40,881
What kind of horrific,
troll beast was he?
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00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,996
He wasn't a troll, he was just a...
99
00:05:43,997 --> 00:05:46,594
Heavy, hairy in the wrong
places, slightly smelly
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00:05:46,595 --> 00:05:50,142
toll booth attendant
at our local bridge.
101
00:05:50,143 --> 00:05:54,162
Oh, my gosh, he might
actually have been a troll.
102
00:05:54,163 --> 00:05:57,028
Well, I went on FacePage
and found his profile pic.
103
00:05:57,029 --> 00:05:59,501
He's changed. And he's in town.
104
00:05:59,502 --> 00:06:02,901
So I invited him over so
you can make Tony jealous.
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00:06:02,902 --> 00:06:08,182
That won't work, not unless
Ted has changed a lot.
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00:06:11,616 --> 00:06:13,159
Jessie!
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00:06:13,160 --> 00:06:16,640
Ted? You've changed a lot!
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00:06:18,986 --> 00:06:23,425
If he's the troll, I'm
crossing that bridge every day.
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00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:27,362
Yeah, after you broke up with me, I
started working out and losing weight.
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00:06:27,363 --> 00:06:30,358
Plus, I, uh, got the hump removed.
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00:06:30,359 --> 00:06:36,259
I was gonna say, who did your hump
work? Because it looks fantastic!
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I'm Zuri. Hug me.
113
00:06:39,343 --> 00:06:40,981
Okay.
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00:06:40,982 --> 00:06:46,529
Sorry. When Zuri sees something
she wants, she goes for it.
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00:06:46,530 --> 00:06:52,430
So, Ted, are you in town for some kind
of International Handsome Man Convention?
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00:06:53,307 --> 00:06:55,074
Zuri, that's just silly.
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00:06:55,075 --> 00:06:58,135
Ooh, no, she's right. I'm a model now.
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00:06:58,136 --> 00:07:02,336
And the IHMC is great for networking.
119
00:07:02,870 --> 00:07:06,046
Well, you guys obviously
have a lot to catch up on.
120
00:07:06,047 --> 00:07:08,370
Right, so we should go to lunch.
121
00:07:08,371 --> 00:07:10,405
Through the lobby. Past the doorman.
122
00:07:10,406 --> 00:07:14,546
Okay, however you get to the street.
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00:07:17,285 --> 00:07:19,162
Great plan, Emma.
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00:07:19,163 --> 00:07:21,951
How did Jessie ever
keep a man before us?
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00:07:21,952 --> 00:07:23,133
She didn't.
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00:07:23,134 --> 00:07:25,414
Oh, right.
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00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,801
- Twelve minutes.
- Not bad for a mile.
128
00:07:35,802 --> 00:07:39,364
You were running the 100 yard dash!
129
00:07:39,365 --> 00:07:42,470
And you stopped at a hot dog cart.
130
00:07:42,471 --> 00:07:46,071
Now let's do some chin-ups.
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00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:55,516
- Okay, your turn.
- You've got to be kidding.
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00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,317
We could do some more running.
133
00:07:57,318 --> 00:07:59,658
Upsy daisy!
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00:08:04,293 --> 00:08:06,873
Just a moment.
135
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,299
Bertram, are you okay?
136
00:08:12,300 --> 00:08:15,360
No, I need some ice.
137
00:08:16,437 --> 00:08:21,671
Maybe the snow cone guy
will let me sit on his cart.
138
00:08:21,672 --> 00:08:23,835
Well, well, well.
139
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:27,765
Can someone not handle
his fitness bit-ness?
140
00:08:27,766 --> 00:08:31,184
Please never say bit-ness again.
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00:08:31,185 --> 00:08:32,419
Hey...
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00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:35,569
- Did you sabotage this bar?
- Maybe.
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00:08:35,570 --> 00:08:39,799
Just like your foul underarm
odor ruined my meditation session.
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00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,031
Because it was pointless!
145
00:08:42,032 --> 00:08:45,752
My plan for Bertram will work.
146
00:08:47,418 --> 00:08:49,398
Maybe.
147
00:08:54,558 --> 00:08:58,073
Hey, Tony. Look who dropped
by. My ex-boyfriend, Ted.
148
00:08:58,074 --> 00:09:00,150
Try to keep calm.
149
00:09:00,151 --> 00:09:02,650
Don't fly into a jealous rage.
150
00:09:02,651 --> 00:09:04,321
Hey, Ted.
151
00:09:04,322 --> 00:09:07,358
- Nice boots.
- Ah, thanks, man.
152
00:09:07,359 --> 00:09:10,719
Well. That was a letdown.
153
00:09:11,438 --> 00:09:14,672
Don't worry, I got this.
154
00:09:14,673 --> 00:09:18,093
Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
155
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:26,425
Now, to be hypnotized, just concentrate on
this watch as I count backwards from three.
156
00:09:26,426 --> 00:09:28,487
- Three...
- This is so stupid.
157
00:09:28,488 --> 00:09:29,280
Two.
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00:09:29,281 --> 00:09:31,480
Don't you have to be
weak-minded for this to work?
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00:09:31,481 --> 00:09:33,341
One.
160
00:09:34,252 --> 00:09:37,072
Yes. Yes, you do.
161
00:09:37,721 --> 00:09:41,625
From now on, you will no longer
enjoy the taste of apple pie,
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00:09:41,626 --> 00:09:45,863
butter, chocolate, donuts,
egg creams, French fries...
163
00:09:45,864 --> 00:09:50,544
Toffee cake, upside-down
cake, vanilla cake.
164
00:09:50,993 --> 00:09:54,086
And anything that ends in whiz.
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00:09:54,087 --> 00:09:56,247
No whiz.
166
00:09:57,294 --> 00:09:58,452
Very good.
167
00:09:58,453 --> 00:10:03,889
I will now bring you out of your
trance with the ring of a bell.
168
00:10:03,890 --> 00:10:06,417
As soon as I find the bell.
169
00:10:06,418 --> 00:10:10,488
Stay put. Do not give
me the Freudian slip!
170
00:10:10,489 --> 00:10:13,429
Oh, hypnotism humor.
171
00:10:14,166 --> 00:10:16,506
Tough room.
172
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:25,711
Whenever someone says Bertram,
you will act like a cat,
173
00:10:25,712 --> 00:10:28,065
until someone says your name again.
174
00:10:28,066 --> 00:10:33,346
This hypnotic suggestion
was brought to you by Ravi.
175
00:10:35,514 --> 00:10:38,994
Ah, there it is. Silly me.
176
00:10:41,011 --> 00:10:43,719
So, how do you feel, Bertram?
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00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,640
Meow.
178
00:10:50,328 --> 00:10:53,854
What is the matter, Bertram?
179
00:10:53,855 --> 00:10:56,975
Nothing. I feel great.
180
00:10:57,245 --> 00:10:59,765
'Sup, Bertram?
181
00:11:02,474 --> 00:11:04,717
Cat got your tongue?
182
00:11:04,718 --> 00:11:07,898
Luke, what did you do?
183
00:11:08,029 --> 00:11:10,789
Stop it, Bertram!
184
00:11:11,662 --> 00:11:13,975
Why am I caught in your Kurta?
185
00:11:13,976 --> 00:11:18,018
Because Luke exploited your hypnotic
state to make you act like a cat!
186
00:11:18,019 --> 00:11:20,927
Because you sabotaged
all my exercise sessions!
187
00:11:20,928 --> 00:11:23,360
What are you guys talking about?
188
00:11:23,361 --> 00:11:27,587
Well, Luke and I disagreed about
how to help you manage your stress.
189
00:11:27,588 --> 00:11:31,435
And I guess we kind of got carried
away trying to prove who was right.
190
00:11:31,436 --> 00:11:33,356
What?
191
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:38,442
I thought you guys really cared
about me, obviously I was wrong.
192
00:11:38,443 --> 00:11:40,704
We're really sorry...
193
00:11:40,705 --> 00:11:43,135
- Bertram.
- Meow.
194
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,056
Meow!
195
00:11:52,942 --> 00:11:55,587
You know what, Jessie, I am
having a really great time.
196
00:11:55,588 --> 00:11:58,108
Not for long.
197
00:11:58,529 --> 00:12:01,199
So, what's it like being a male model?
198
00:12:01,200 --> 00:12:03,642
Awesome! These runway
shows pay you a fortune
199
00:12:03,643 --> 00:12:06,997
to walk around, wear clothes,
and look good, which...
200
00:12:06,998 --> 00:12:09,610
I was totally doing anyway!
201
00:12:09,611 --> 00:12:12,210
You know, I can't talk
to Tony about fashion.
202
00:12:12,211 --> 00:12:16,147
He thinks an ankle boot is something
you wear when you're under house arrest.
203
00:12:16,148 --> 00:12:19,082
Oh, whoa. Don't move. You've
got a ladybug on your shoulder.
204
00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:23,223
You know those are good luck, right?
205
00:12:26,358 --> 00:12:28,264
Apparently, not for me.
206
00:12:28,265 --> 00:12:30,361
- Here, take my jacket.
- No, really, I'm...
207
00:12:30,362 --> 00:12:32,102
Whoa.
208
00:12:32,103 --> 00:12:35,571
Uh. I mean, no, I'm arm enough.
209
00:12:35,572 --> 00:12:38,392
Warm! Warm enough!
210
00:12:38,987 --> 00:12:40,374
Oh, man!
211
00:12:40,375 --> 00:12:46,241
If Jessie's mindless babbling can't
ruin this date, what hope do I have?
212
00:12:46,242 --> 00:12:49,380
Zuri, don't you have anything
better to do than watch us eat?
213
00:12:49,381 --> 00:12:52,432
I'm eight. I've got nothing but time.
214
00:12:52,433 --> 00:12:56,387
And according to my teacher,
a very poor attitude.
215
00:12:56,388 --> 00:12:57,892
So, where's your girlfriend?
216
00:12:57,893 --> 00:13:00,258
Off having lunch with
some hunky hayseed.
217
00:13:00,259 --> 00:13:03,348
I've never said this
about anyone before but...
218
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:06,918
I think he may have better hair than me.
219
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:08,319
No way!
220
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:10,992
And if she likes that guy
more than you, she's nuts!
221
00:13:10,993 --> 00:13:13,404
- You're perfect!
- Jessie doesn't think so.
222
00:13:13,405 --> 00:13:15,657
She says I spend too much time bowling.
223
00:13:15,658 --> 00:13:18,337
What? How dare she!
224
00:13:18,338 --> 00:13:21,367
Bowling is the national
sport of Brooklyn!
225
00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:24,417
After running from the cops.
226
00:13:24,418 --> 00:13:26,412
And remember what your
grandma always used to say.
227
00:13:26,413 --> 00:13:28,600
Sorry, I had cabbage?
228
00:13:28,601 --> 00:13:32,971
Yeah, but also, L'Amour
non trovare un difetto...
229
00:13:32,972 --> 00:13:34,768
L'Amour cieco.
230
00:13:34,769 --> 00:13:40,169
They're bonding in Italian?
Mamma Mia, it's go time!
231
00:13:45,017 --> 00:13:46,808
Aw, man!
232
00:13:46,809 --> 00:13:49,221
My meatball sub got munched by a mutt!
233
00:13:49,222 --> 00:13:52,704
Darn! Guess your cozy
little lunch is ruined.
234
00:13:52,705 --> 00:13:54,605
Better get back to work, Tony.
235
00:13:54,606 --> 00:13:59,316
Oh, here, Tone, we can
just share my pasta.
236
00:13:59,317 --> 00:14:01,860
You were supposed to
take the pasta, too!
237
00:14:01,861 --> 00:14:05,821
I am so disappointed in you guys.
238
00:14:13,683 --> 00:14:17,943
Good afternoon, Miss Prescott. Delivery.
239
00:14:20,046 --> 00:14:23,949
There goes my stained glass window kit.
240
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:25,250
What's wrong with you?
241
00:14:25,251 --> 00:14:29,922
Nothing's wrong. How was
your lunch with G.Q. McCowboy?
242
00:14:29,923 --> 00:14:30,956
Aha!
243
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:32,958
You're jealous that
I had lunch with Ted.
244
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:36,144
I didn't have time to be jealous,
because I was having lunch with Vic.
245
00:14:36,145 --> 00:14:37,703
What do you think about that?
246
00:14:37,704 --> 00:14:40,506
I think she seems like a very nice girl.
247
00:14:40,507 --> 00:14:43,195
I'm sure she has a
heart as big as her hair.
248
00:14:43,196 --> 00:14:45,043
Aha! You're jealous!
249
00:14:45,044 --> 00:14:48,085
Oh, please, I'm not that immature. You
can be friends with anyone you want.
250
00:14:48,086 --> 00:14:48,885
Thanks, I will.
251
00:14:48,886 --> 00:14:52,015
In fact, why don't we all be very
mature and have dinner together?
252
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:54,223
One big sophisticated group of friends.
253
00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:57,456
Fine by me. We'll have it at my
place. I'll use the good China.
254
00:14:57,457 --> 00:15:00,559
- You mean styrofoam?
- Yes, I mean styrofoam.
255
00:15:00,560 --> 00:15:02,564
Excellent. I look forward to it.
256
00:15:02,565 --> 00:15:04,785
As do I.
257
00:15:09,231 --> 00:15:10,952
Sorry, I need you to
sign for that package.
258
00:15:10,953 --> 00:15:13,593
Oh, right yeah!
259
00:15:21,673 --> 00:15:22,960
Hey.
260
00:15:22,961 --> 00:15:25,456
How did your follow-up
doctor's appointment go?
261
00:15:25,457 --> 00:15:26,983
Like you guys care.
262
00:15:26,984 --> 00:15:30,660
Oh, we do! And we
really want to apologize.
263
00:15:30,661 --> 00:15:32,947
All we wanted to do was see
who could help you the most.
264
00:15:32,948 --> 00:15:38,801
So, when you think about it, we only
hurt you because we care too much.
265
00:15:38,802 --> 00:15:41,312
That makes no sense.
266
00:15:41,313 --> 00:15:43,963
But I guess I forgive you.
267
00:15:43,964 --> 00:15:47,198
Thank you! So, what did your doctor say?
268
00:15:47,199 --> 00:15:51,772
He said thanks to you two, my stress
levels are even higher than before.
269
00:15:51,773 --> 00:15:53,575
So he gave me a new prescription.
270
00:15:53,576 --> 00:15:55,175
- To meditate?
- To exercise?
271
00:15:55,176 --> 00:15:57,178
Neither.
272
00:15:57,179 --> 00:16:00,498
Stay 50 feet away from
children at all times.
273
00:16:00,499 --> 00:16:03,139
Doctors' orders.
274
00:16:03,261 --> 00:16:04,761
- But...
- Back up.
275
00:16:04,762 --> 00:16:06,306
Back up.
276
00:16:06,307 --> 00:16:12,067
Back. Back. Back. Back. Back.
Back. Back. Back. Back. Back.
277
00:16:12,770 --> 00:16:15,146
Hello? It's cold out here!
278
00:16:15,147 --> 00:16:18,336
So, work up a sweat exercising.
279
00:16:18,337 --> 00:16:23,017
Or, meditate until you
believe you're warm.
280
00:16:26,924 --> 00:16:30,344
Anyone want another Panini?
281
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:36,349
No, thanks. My last
one was a little linty.
282
00:16:36,350 --> 00:16:38,914
This is a real nice apartment, Tone.
283
00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,098
And your neighbors are so friendly!
284
00:16:41,099 --> 00:16:43,542
Even the muggers have manners.
285
00:16:43,543 --> 00:16:48,188
Yeah, it's always nice to hear please
before someone takes your wallet.
286
00:16:48,189 --> 00:16:50,127
I'm glad you like it, Vic.
287
00:16:50,128 --> 00:16:51,808
Some people don't appreciate it.
288
00:16:51,809 --> 00:16:55,229
Just because it doesn't have fancy things
like a doorman or air conditioning...
289
00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:59,562
Or a way to escape in
the event of a fire.
290
00:16:59,563 --> 00:17:03,986
Well, excuse me for thinking you shouldn't
live in a neighborhood called Murdertown.
291
00:17:03,987 --> 00:17:05,721
It's not called Murdertown!
292
00:17:05,722 --> 00:17:09,922
It's The Historic Murdertown District.
293
00:17:10,087 --> 00:17:13,927
Hey, you got a little something.
294
00:17:15,538 --> 00:17:20,158
Hey, Ted, you got a
little something, too.
295
00:17:20,826 --> 00:17:22,931
- Oh, ow!
- Oh, whoa! What's the matter?
296
00:17:22,932 --> 00:17:28,092
Oh, I think I just cut
myself on your cheekbones.
297
00:17:30,580 --> 00:17:32,325
Okay, something's wrong here.
298
00:17:32,326 --> 00:17:33,572
Why would you say that, Ted?
299
00:17:33,573 --> 00:17:36,699
There's nothing wrong with my girlfriend
obsessing over her supermodel ex.
300
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:38,572
Or with my boyfriend taking hours
301
00:17:38,573 --> 00:17:42,621
to teach his beautiful protegee
how to open a ding-dang door!
302
00:17:42,622 --> 00:17:44,448
You've never understood my work!
303
00:17:44,449 --> 00:17:46,361
Opening doors is an art!
304
00:17:46,362 --> 00:17:51,238
No, it's not! It's something we all
do to keep from running into walls!
305
00:17:51,239 --> 00:17:53,996
Oh, look, Tony left the oven open!
306
00:17:53,997 --> 00:17:58,737
Don't close it. That's
the central heating.
307
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,745
What are you two doing here?
308
00:18:02,746 --> 00:18:05,386
Keeping you and Tony from
making a huge mistake!
309
00:18:05,387 --> 00:18:07,221
We're in this
relationship, too, you know!
310
00:18:07,222 --> 00:18:09,109
Okay, I haven't been
this confused since that
311
00:18:09,110 --> 00:18:11,788
modeling shoot for reversible underwear.
312
00:18:11,789 --> 00:18:15,335
I still don't know if I
had them on inside out.
313
00:18:15,336 --> 00:18:17,760
You're lucky you're pretty.
314
00:18:17,761 --> 00:18:20,161
Very pretty.
315
00:18:20,773 --> 00:18:23,098
Jessie, may I speak with
you in the living room?
316
00:18:23,099 --> 00:18:25,379
Absolutely.
317
00:18:28,195 --> 00:18:29,772
Why are you acting this way?
318
00:18:29,773 --> 00:18:33,592
What way? I'm not acting in a way!
If anyone's acting in a way, it's you!
319
00:18:33,593 --> 00:18:38,292
Well, if you don't like the way I act,
maybe you should just go out with Ted!
320
00:18:38,293 --> 00:18:39,837
Maybe I should!
321
00:18:39,838 --> 00:18:41,983
He and I have a lot more
in common than we do.
322
00:18:41,984 --> 00:18:45,688
And if you think I don't understand
you, why don't you just go out with Vic?
323
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:46,945
Done!
324
00:18:46,946 --> 00:18:49,792
Whoa, Tony, hold your Hair Gel!
325
00:18:49,793 --> 00:18:53,397
I did want to date you, but now that
I see what a jealous mook you are.
326
00:18:53,398 --> 00:18:55,814
Forget about it.
327
00:18:55,815 --> 00:19:00,516
And Jessie, you didn't seem so interested
when I looked like a before picture.
328
00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:03,955
Plus, you dumped me by texting my mom!
329
00:19:03,956 --> 00:19:07,710
I wanted you to hear it from
someone who actually cared about you!
330
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:10,646
I'm not making it better, am I?
331
00:19:10,647 --> 00:19:13,085
Yikes, that is a bad
way to dump someone.
332
00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:16,150
And that's coming from a girl
who was once literally dumped...
333
00:19:16,151 --> 00:19:19,751
Out of the back of a truck.
334
00:19:20,019 --> 00:19:22,524
That is no way to treat a lady.
335
00:19:22,525 --> 00:19:26,729
Hey, you want to let these guys
duke it out and go grab some fro-yo?
336
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,326
Okay!
337
00:19:28,327 --> 00:19:31,132
I know a great, cheap
place on the corner.
338
00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:33,258
We just got to duck the police tape.
339
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:35,591
Sweet. Oh, and don't worry about money.
340
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:41,492
When you're as pretty as me,
you never have to pay for stuff.
341
00:19:41,857 --> 00:19:45,337
I did not see that coming.
342
00:19:45,428 --> 00:19:48,914
Okay, you guys obviously
need your privacy.
343
00:19:48,915 --> 00:19:52,455
We'll wait in the bathroom.
344
00:19:55,154 --> 00:19:58,945
Jessie, what are we
doing? This isn't us.
345
00:19:58,946 --> 00:20:02,305
Well, it wasn't us, but...
346
00:20:02,306 --> 00:20:07,240
The truth is, things just
haven't been the same lately.
347
00:20:07,241 --> 00:20:10,806
- Have you felt that too?
- Actually, yeah.
348
00:20:10,807 --> 00:20:13,243
I used to love doing
things I hate with you.
349
00:20:13,244 --> 00:20:14,247
Me too!
350
00:20:14,248 --> 00:20:18,025
But now I have to fight the urge to throw
your bowling ball through a windshield!
351
00:20:18,026 --> 00:20:20,473
And if I have to watch a movie
with subtitles one more time,
352
00:20:20,474 --> 00:20:22,865
I'll puke in my popcorn!
353
00:20:22,866 --> 00:20:27,544
If I want to read, I'll
pick up a comic book!
354
00:20:27,545 --> 00:20:29,465
So...
355
00:20:29,626 --> 00:20:33,706
I guess the spark is kind of gone.
356
00:20:34,573 --> 00:20:36,733
Kind of.
357
00:20:39,052 --> 00:20:42,505
Look, the truth is, I
was attracted to Ted.
358
00:20:42,506 --> 00:20:44,888
Do you hate me?
359
00:20:44,889 --> 00:20:47,288
Actually, no.
360
00:20:47,289 --> 00:20:53,049
Because if I'm being honest,
I had feelings for Vic, too.
361
00:20:53,850 --> 00:20:57,090
So, what do we do now?
362
00:20:57,754 --> 00:21:02,255
I don't know. I mean, if
we're noticing other people...
363
00:21:02,256 --> 00:21:05,845
Maybe it's a sign that we
should see other people.
364
00:21:05,846 --> 00:21:08,664
And maybe even date 'em.
365
00:21:08,665 --> 00:21:12,002
- I guess that's what you...
- That's what I meant when I said...
366
00:21:12,003 --> 00:21:13,923
So...
367
00:21:14,227 --> 00:21:17,167
Are we breaking up?
368
00:21:18,358 --> 00:21:20,758
I guess so.
369
00:21:22,612 --> 00:21:25,223
And I will always love you.
370
00:21:25,224 --> 00:21:27,441
I'll always love you, too.
371
00:21:27,442 --> 00:21:30,277
- Friends, right?
- Absolutely!
372
00:21:30,278 --> 00:21:32,918
Friends. Always.
373
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,827
How could you do this to us?
374
00:21:37,828 --> 00:21:40,759
I feel like I've been kicked in the gut!
375
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:45,380
And you couldn't have
sprung for two-ply?
376
00:21:46,347 --> 00:21:50,247
Girls, come here, it'll be okay.
377
00:21:50,256 --> 00:21:52,956
Look, soon, this will all be just
another one of my break-up stories
378
00:21:52,957 --> 00:21:57,097
that I tell over and over and over.
379
00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:59,639
Okay, I get it.
380
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:01,824
This may be the wrong
time to mention this,
381
00:22:01,825 --> 00:22:07,405
but there's definitely something
swimming in this toilet.
382
00:22:09,891 --> 00:22:13,204
So, Ted and Vic ended up together.
383
00:22:13,205 --> 00:22:16,442
Tony and I broke up,
and to top it all off...
384
00:22:16,443 --> 00:22:19,132
I had to fish a rat out of the toilet!
385
00:22:19,133 --> 00:22:23,016
Still sounds like one
of your better dates.
386
00:22:23,017 --> 00:22:27,134
Sympathetic as always, but
thanks you for listening, Bertram.
387
00:22:27,135 --> 00:22:29,055
Meow.
388
00:22:31,066 --> 00:22:33,455
Okay, you can stop listening now!
389
00:22:33,456 --> 00:22:37,129
What is wrong with you, Bertram?
390
00:22:37,130 --> 00:22:41,190
I'm sorry, you were saying something?
391
00:22:41,191 --> 00:22:44,279
Maybe I should start confiding in Emma.
392
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:50,180
Sync & corrections by P2Pfiend.
Www.Addic7ed.Com.
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