All language subtitles for Jack.Irish.S03E02.720p.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264

Yeah, but why Asia, why Manila?

Asia's the new Middle East.
Like we need another one of those.

I take it you're Orton?
Linda.

I know the story I'm covering.

The terrorist, Hadji Adhib,
grew up in Melbourne.

It was a bloody scam!
On the Internet(!)

Apparently I've been talking
to some bloke

from the Russian mafia
the whole time.

This is how the last bloke
you had me chase wants to pay you.

Lost Legion.
16 starts, 4 wins, 3 places.

Jack'll take him.

Travis Dilthey. I'm trying to locate
my younger brother.

Wayne, you know
there's only one way to resign.

(Gunfire)

Why'd you kill Wayne Dilthey?

What reason would I have
to kill Wayne?

You're free to go, Mr Irish.
Your girlfriend came forward.

Come on, babe. Let's get you home.

You poor thing!

Where's Tina?
Who's Tina?

My sister, Tina.
I don't know where she is.

Have you heard from our Tina?

She's still overseas, isn't she?

No, she's back.
You seem tense, Janene.

These numbers here -
who's Pier Okant?

They mean nothing.
Just let her go, OK?

(Dogs bark)

(Cries out)

I'm standing in my kitchen,
naked as Adam except for a towel.

Spare yourself the image,
you know, really.

(Audience laughs)

And I open the freezer door

to get a secret scoop
of late-night ice-cream

when a frozen chicken
decides to make a dash for freedom

from the top shelf
right onto my foot.

(Audience laughs)

So, now, right, I'm disco hip-hopping
around the kitchen in a towel,

two broken toes,
and Helena walks in... (Laughs)

...and God knows, look,
I have loved this woman for 23 years,

since we were childhood sweethearts.

Where are you, darling? Hello.
(Audience coos)

You know what Helena says to me?

Not, 'Oh! Are you OK, my darling,
precious love?' No, no, no.

She looks at me and she says, 'Well,
you should have been wearing shoes.'

(Laughter and applause)
There you have it, folks.

Love can be
mighty scarce on the ground.

(Laughs) The world can be
a dangerous and hostile place.

'I've been in danger from bandits,

from my countrymen,
and in danger from my brothers.'

Second Corinthians, 11:26.

The world is now dangerous in ways

that I could never have imagined
were possible as a kid.

It comes dressed in evil.

Bombs in our shopping centres.

Predators, they stalk our kids
on the Internet!

AUDIENCE: Yeah!

And on our streets, people that
have no right to be walking there!

WOMAN: That's right!
AUDIENCE: Yeah!

Now, how do we know who to trust?

Fellas, you've done well.

Welcome to the brotherhood.

♪ You may run on for a long time

♪ Run on for a long time

♪ You may run on for a long time

♪ God Almighty's gonna cut you down

♪ Tell you
God Almighty's gonna cut you down

♪ Go tell that long-tongue liar

♪ Go tell that midnight rider

♪ Tell the rambler, the gambler
and the back-biter

♪ Tell them
God Almighty's gonna cut 'em down

♪ Tell them
God Almighty's gonna cut 'em down. ♪

I called the Sea Shepherd, mate.
They're on their way.

And I got you a coffee - hand-picked
by free-range, organic Peruvians.

So, have you found
the elusive Travis Dilthey yet?

No. He's vanished, like the dropkick.

Has it occurred to you that
this could be a personal thing?

Oh, let me think - someone tries
to kill me and frame me for murder.

Yes, yes, I can see it as personal(!)
There you go.

Still following men
into change rooms, I see.

Mmm, old habits. You know.
Yeah.

So, who was she
and why did she alibi me?

Are you serious?
You don't know her?

Mate, if I ever get to the point

where I'm forgetting a woman who
looks like that, shoot me, alright?

Sarah Longmore, daughter of...?

Daughter of... what?
The Attorney-General?

(Laughs)
Shit, no way! Michael Longmore?

So, I'm supposedly shagging
the daughter of the Attorney-General?

The man who famously said,

'In order to protect our freedoms,
we must first limit them.'

But why would she lie to the coppers
for me?

The word is 'alibi', mate. Let's
give the lying thing a wide berth.

Sarah Barrett Longmore. Oh!

Sounds like the heroine
from a Jane Austen novel -

although it says that her occupation
is scrap metal dealer, so maybe not.

Oh, before I forget...

Hey. You said you lost yours.

I was gonna give it to Lorna
before she shot through.

Yeah. Did you ever think about why,
maybe, she did shoot through?

Sometimes.

You're all familiar
with the terms of reference.

The Government is looking into
the tax laws

governing charity organisations -

whether it qualifies or it doesn't.

A clerk is moving about you now
issuing the running schedule

and the order of submissions.

We will get this underway tomorrow.

I've been given only 30 minutes
to address the inquiry.

I have witnesses.

Good. I'll look forward
to staying awake for them.

I was promised half a day
by Senator Mackie.

That'll teach you
to listen to an Opposition senator.

Tell your witnesses to speak quickly.

Look, we're not interested in people
pillorying churches.

You're not turning this inquiry
into a witch-hunt.

It's already a witch-hunt. You've
just picked the wrong targets.

Let's not blur the landscape, hmm?

30 minutes, Mr Gomes.

Your daughter didn't fly.

According to State Rail, Tina bought
a train ticket to Melbourne.

Who the hell travels by rail?

Bulgarians have faster trains
than we.

Where did she go next?

We don't know.

Keep checking.

God help me if the girl's
gone back to her old ways.

Tom?

What - have I inadvertently
porked someone's wife here?

Hang on! Where are you going
with my computer?

Tregear?

97% of our members never get a visit

from the Office of Police Integrity
in their entire careers,

and then there are those like you,
Tregear,

who seem to ping their radar
almost constantly.

So, I'm part of an elite group.

You pulled up Wayne Dilthey
on our database

and a day later he's bleeding out
on a vibrating bed.

What - so the fact that we get a
tip-off, a witness, and our murderer

all delivered on our doorstep
in under two hours,

that didn't tweak
the OPI's interest at all...

They pulled your phone records,
Barry.

On whose authority?!

What - those two turkeys
who just took off with my computer?

I've got ten years of porn on that.

Turned out you called Jack Irish
on the same day twice last week.

He's your little mate.
I'd deny that before God.

You wouldn't have a career
without him.

I know that he was your informant
on the dockside case,

helped you put Levesque behind bars.

A few favours in the bank, perhaps.

Or perhaps he's just got a knack

of being in the wrong spot
at exactly the right time.

That is not how the OPI view him.

The way they see it, you were
in contact with the main suspect

in a murder investigation
just before the hit.

Well, technically he can't be
the main suspect BEFORE the hit.

You shared privileged information
with an outsider.

I brought him in
and WE questioned him,

and then the Attorney-General's
daughter turns up

and offers a perfect alibi!

I mean, you saw her!
What else was I supposed to do?

I'm formally notifying you that
you are suspended from all duties...

Oh, you're kidding!

...pending a full investigation,
effective immediately.

If they find anything untoward...
Oh, well, you won't, will you?

If they find anything...

WOMAN: Next.

Yeah, I just want to check
the last couple of payments

that have gone into that account.
Sure.

Have you noticed every cafe outside
has quinoa somewhere on the menu?

Everything is bloody quinoa!
I know.

Orthopaedic shoes, car manifolds -
all made from quinoa these days.

Yes, I can see $25,000

was transferred into your account
four days ago -

$5,000 in the morning
and then $20,000 yesterday.

And were any of these payments

from a Driscon Holdings
or Travis Dilthey?

Look at her fingers go!

No, it was a bank-to-bank transfer
from the Holman-Dang Bank.

I don't know what that is.

The Holman-Dang Bank in Manila.

I don't know anyone in Manila.

Oh, well, actually I do,

but I doubt very much
she's putting money into my account.

They've put a stop on your account,
Mr Irish. They do that sometimes.

How has a bank that I've never heard
of before put a stop on my account?

THEY didn't.
Well, who did?

I'm sorry,
I'm not at liberty to say.

Well, I think you'd better say.

I've got overdue bills,
a wedding present on lay-by,

parking fines to pay
I'm sorry.

I am required to do this.

Oooh.

Who required you to do that?!

Sorry.

'Sorry?'
That's the best you can do, is it?

You just ruin my day
and then you shrug at me?

(Huffs) I'd get more sympathy
from the fucking ATM!

Ah, here's the personalised service
you're always bragging about.

In Sam's article a year ago
about Hadji Adhib,

he talks about making contact
with the 'Gatekeeper'.

Does anyone know who...

Yeah, never mind. Never mind.

Hello, Hadji.

(Speaks Arabic)

The most difficult part
about growing up in Saudi...

I came here when I was 15,
so I was a teenager in Saudi.

The hard thing about that

was trying to talk to girls,
trying to approach them,

because they're all covered
from head to toe in black,

so you couldn't tell
whether you were talking to

an attractive 18-year-old girl
or to your grandmother.

I got that wrong so many times.

(Mobile phone rings)

Four days without a call.
That's not too bad, I suppose.

Well, I wasn't sure
what the protocol was.

Is the onus on the leaver
or the leavee to call?

I don't know.
You're the stickler for tradition.

Yeah, rusted to it.

Hey, listen, you didn't happen
to stick 25 grand into my account,

did you, as a sort of
a de facto settlement?

Oh, good(!) You got it, then(!)

What are you talking about?

Oh, I don't know.
Something odd's happened.

Hey, I'm just wondering if you could
check on something for me.

Nice to hear your voice too, Jack.

Yeah, I know, I'm sorry.
It's important.

I got this weird money transfer
from a Holman-Dang Bank in Manila,

and I can't seem to find out
anything about it.

You want me to drop the big story
I'm working on

and go run errands for you?

Would you mind?

I mean, they've frozen my account

and I can't move on
until I get it sorted out.

Look, I'll have a look at it
if I get the time, uh...

That's it - the sum total
of what you have to say to me?

Ah, beauty! Four bucks! I'm rich!

Dickhead.
(Electricity crackles)

You there?

Linda!
(Phone button beeps)

JOURNALIST: Orton!

If The New York Times calls,
I'm at the bank.

The power's out again.

Don't panic.
That's what I'm here for.

Yep, thank you. (Linda sighs)
Can't be any banks around here.

DRIVER: Go straight.

SAT NAV: Continue south
for 140 metres on San Sebastian.

At the 'T' intersection,
turn left onto Corian Lane.

Turn left.

Continue 50 metres to...

At the third intersection,
turn left into Jose Maria Lane.

Your destination is ahead
on the right.

You have arrived
at your destination.

(Motorbike horn blares)

No way.

You've gotta be joking!

Jack, you're an idiot.

There's your Holman-Dang Bank.
(Camera clicks)

(Sighs)

WOMAN: I never thought about that.

You're right - a wonderful tension
between caprice and urgency.

Sorry.
I'm just looking for the artist.

Follow the argument.
(Indistinct shouting)

Every opening, she does this.

'Relationship No.26' - you called me
that in front of your friends!

You quoted me all over it, look...

How could I quote you?
I never even listened to you.

'I insist on single-origin coffee.'

'I need to feel supported by you.'

Oh, yeah, OK, maybe I did listen.

Were you the one who said,

'I can feel my net worth
and self-worth growing?'

Do you have any idea what it's like

waking up next to someone
spouting shit like that?

So, I AM Relationship No.26?

No, that was your score out of 100.

Yes, you nailed me!

You're a car crash.
This car crash is you.

Fuck you!
What - so you're not buying?

Arsehole.

Hello. I was wondering
when you were going to show up.

Scrap metal dealer, huh?
(Sarah chuckles)

Hey, listen, I'm just wondering if...

Are these prices
or world population figures?

Do you hate them?
I don't mind if you do.

I, in fact, see a wonderful tension
between caprice and urgency here.

Finally someone understands.

Grab a beer.

Fridge is just in here.

I'll have a Czech one.

Apparently Czechs drink
more beer per capita

than anyone else on the planet,

so I figure
they know what they're doing.

(Sighs)

Oh, very Guantanamo-chic(!)

So you know you're not staying.

Onion-and-mustard sandwich?

Read my mind.
That's all I've got.

I think the only reason
why they call it 'finger food'

is because you get so hungry,
you could eat your hand.

(Laughs)

So, tell me how it is
we supposedly slept together.

I'm a little foggy on the details.

I'm looking for my sister, Tina.
She's disappeared.

When did you see her last?

Oh, a few months ago,
which isn't that unusual.

If it wasn't for a mutual loathing
of our father,

we probably wouldn't
see each other much.

You don't like her?

No, I love her,
but she's a serious screw-up -

and she has an air of entitlement,
which makes her hard to bear,

and after she found God,
she became totally unbearable.

Mmm. You're not into God, are you?

Oh, my only religion involves
blokes kicking a red ball

between two big white posts.

Doesn't really explain
why you alibied me, though, does it?

Mm-hm.

(Answering machine beeps)

I thought I was the last person
on Earth to have one of those.

JANENE, ON RECORDING:
It's Janene here.

I need to speak to Tina.
It's urgent.

If she rings you,
get her to call me.

(Answering machine beeps)

It's Janene again.
You have to get a message to Tina.

They're onto her!
Tell her she's got to get away.

(Call disconnects)
And then this.

(Answering machine beeps)

They've killed Wayne
and they're after me!

Tina sent me something!

I don't know what it is,
but there's this guy, Jack Irish -

he might be able to help
if they haven't killed him!

(Answering machine beeps)
And you weren't dead.

And this Janene,
how does she know Tina?

A friendship based on abusive
boyfriends and heroin and methadone,

and then God.

And you don't think
this is something

you should just
go and talk to the police about?

No.

I've already checked.
Tina hasn't been home.

My father owns the block.

I was supposed to move in too,

but I couldn't bear the idea
of owing him anything.

Did Tina have a job?

Yeah, spreading God's word
in the Philippines,

but before that, she liked to follow
her boyfriends into professions -

a painter, a potter.

The last one was a photographer,
I think.

She must be good in bed,
because her art is woeful.

And you?

(Scoffs) I'm good at both.

Oh, the door's open.

Weird. Tina?

(Flicks light switch)

Stay here.

She's in serious trouble.

She was teaching photography
at Whitehill.

That's Wayne Dilthey.

(Cries out) Oh, shit!

You alright?
Yeah.

Wait here.

Get in!
They were there!

(Tyres screech)

(Camera clicks)
Oh! Arggh!

Are you OK?

(Car horn toots repeatedly)

(Dog barks)

(Car horn blares)

So, I roll off the wife, fall gently
to sleep after a few shit days,

and the man I least want to see in
the world pulls up in my driveway.

Listen, mate, some people
have just tried to run me over.

Well, you know what?
Do me a favour. Next time let 'em.

No, I'm serious.
At Tina Longmore's apartment.

It's the same meatheads
that were at the motel.

Look, I've taken a photo
of their number plate.

Uh... it's in there somewhere.

Give it here. Nice phone(!)

Oh, yeah.
No, you've nailed them alright.

Oh, shit.
It'd be a bullshit plate anyway.

How did that happen?

I'd love to help you two lovebirds,

but the truth is
I'm swinging in the breeze myself.

You know I've been suspended?
What for?

For knowing you!
I didn't do anything wrong.

Yes, you did. You were born!

You know, ever since that day,
and today,

you've done nothing
but cause trouble.

I mean, what kind of hellish shit
have you landed me in this time?

I mean, OPI
and Christ knows who else,

they're crawling
all over this thing!

Well, have you asked yourself why?
Oh, hello, alibi.

Do they do this for every
low-rent ex-con like Dilthey?

You know, as I was just saying
to Mr Selfie here,

love to help, but can't.

Look, all I can tell you right now

is I wouldn't be trusting
too many people

on either end of the legal spectrum.

Which is apparently
why we need your help.

Yeah, well,
I need my pension, don't I?

You want my help? Find the bloke
that first set you up.

Can you at least find my car?
(Scoffs) Car!

Have you got anything to drink?
Oh, yeah.

(Phone rings)

(Answering machine beeps)

JACK, ON RECORDING: Uh, hi. You've
called the home of Linda and Jack.

We're not in. You know the routine.
Wait for the beep.

Ah.
(Answering machine beeps)

LINDA, ON PHONE:
I've wasted an entire day

looking for that bank of yours.

It's nothing more
than a postal address

at the end
of a bloody rabbit warren!

What's this all about?

Anyway, it's nice to hear
my name's still on the machine.

(Call disconnects)

So, Linda, she lives here?

Uh... sort of moved out.

Current or...?

More... 'or'.

Anyway, bathroom's there, toilet's
there. Just make yourself at home.

And the gate's locked?
Yeah, and I'm a light sleeper, so...

We're getting close to that alibi.

Oh, shit - the wedding.

Simone.

(Thunder rumbles)

MAN: You are like a fragile bud
that has taken root in my heart

and bloomed into the flower
that stands before me now.

Maybe hurry it a bit?
That lightning's getting very close.

I promise to treasure
this gift of love...

(Thunder cracks)

...and this wonderful,
precious journey we share.

And now you, Simone?

Simon, meeting you
and your three children

and allowing me
to become part of your life

and to share our journey of love...

(Thunder cracks)
Shit!

Just wrap it up, would you?

Simon and Simone, you have exchanged
these beautiful vows together

in front of the witnesses
that are family and friends,

and I am delighted to announce
you are now husband and wife!

(Thunder cracks)

I think everyone should come and
take some shelter in the clubhouse!

Stay away from anything metal!

Beautiful ceremony.

You missed it, didn't you?
Well, my car got stolen.

From the age of 15,
I've been planning this day.

I know - I'm boring
and now I'm being punished for that.

God wants to make a mockery of me.

Oh, come on.
It's... it's a minor hiccup.

I know this is probably
not the best time,

but I'm in some serious trouble...

15 minutes to midday,
the sun was up, the sky was blue,

and there was this light,
scudding breeze,

and I thought, 'That's perfect!

It'll ruffle my veil in a lovely way
as I walk down the aisle.'

Someone's trying to kill me,

and I've been framed
for something I didn't do,

and I need a computer whiz...
OK.

Not now. I mean, you can do
your photos first.

I did bring your computer.
Your landlady let me in.

Do it in there.

(Thunder cracks)
Here, I'll get this for you.

I checked
Travis Dilthey's company out.

It was registered
under a Driscon Holdings.

They've got a website and they make
these clip things that...

Attach to your mobile. I can read.
Oh, yeah.

Except you didn't check
the correct site.

They basically stopped trading
six years ago -

haven't filed a return since 2009 -

so whoever set you up
just borrowed their company name.

You have heard of company searches?

That's why I have you, Miss...
Mrs... Mrs...?

Longbottom.
Longbottom.

Simon and Simone Longbottom. I know.
Longbottom.

You'd think that would have been
warning enough.

Right, that is where I would start.
Tessler Leasing. Why's that?

They manage the whole building.

Someone had to pay this lot -

show them a credit card
and some form of ID.

Right. So, back to Collins Street.
SIMON: Honey!

Honey?!

Time to consummate this humiliation.

Oh! I got you a pressie.

Beautifully wrapped.

Is this what I think it is?

Han Solo.

It is. It's not an original?

It's... it's in the original
packaging!

Where on earth...?

I went to the right website.

DRIVER: Time to go?
He's not the groom!

Oh. Beg your pardon.
Can we drop you somewhere?

Well, seeing as you're going
on your honeymoon,

do you reckon I can borrow your car
for a little bit?

Thanks.

(Central locking toots)

Mr Irish, is it?
Er, Jack, please.

Are you a Jack or a John?
Jack.

'Cause there's a lot of Johns
out there calling themselves Jack.

No, no, Jack, born and bred.

Right! What was your inquiry
in reference to?

Well, your company's rented out an
office space to a Driscon Holdings.

I wish this was my company.
I'd be a very wealthy man.

I can't tell you
off the top of my head.

We rent out hundreds of offices.

Is there a problem
with this particular tenant?

Yeah, they owe me - my company -
a lot of money, actually,

and they appear to have vanished
off the face of the Earth.

Oh, we don't like to hear that
about our tenants.

Let's check our records.

Can I intrude on your life
for a jiffy there, Colette?

What's the company again?
Driscon Holdings.

I'm imagining that's spelled
with an I-S-C somewhere in there.

That doesn't make a lot of sense.
What's that?

You say they're not
in the building anymore?

Empty as an MP's promise.

There was no forwarding address
left on the door?

Nope.

It's just that they paid six months
in advance,

and according to this,
they only moved in ten days ago.

And is there a name
on the file there?

No. I'm thinking someone's
probably messed up our end.

To quote old Napoleon Bonaparte,

if you want something done well,
do it yourself.

I'll handle this now,
thanks, Warren.

You go back to your other duties.

This is very odd, Sue.
Nice to meet you, Jack-not-John.

Mr...?
Irish. And you are?

The supervising manager here.

We really aren't able to give out
any information about our clients.

I really just want
a forwarding address or a name.

I mean, someone obviously signed
the lease, paid the outgoings.

Yes, but we don't know you, and
I think if the roles were reversed,

you wouldn't want me giving
your details out to a stranger.

Give away. Unlike them,
I've got nothing to hide.

I'm sorry.

You ever work for a bank?
Nah, it's...

(Bangs at door)

(Central locking toots)

(Metal clangs and thuds)

(Rock music blares)

Hello?

(Metal clangs and thuds)

Hello?

Sarah?

It's the attention to detail
that makes great art, eh?

(Music silences)

How long have you been
standing there?

Well, long enough to see
that was heartfelt.

Yeah, I wasted five years
in therapy.

All I needed was a sledgehammer
and a sheet of metal.

I prefer to take it out on my liver.

You could have phoned.
I don't like people dropping in.

I sent you a text message.

Oh!

Oh, 'Dripping in, doughnut mind?'
was you, was it?

Look, I just came to tell you
that I don't...

I don't know that
I can find Tina, OK?

I barely have any resources,

I don't know how to use this mobile
phone, and I'm in the shit myself,

so you're gonna have to go
to the cops.

You forget - you're out
because I gave you an alibi.

Forget about the alibi. Tell them
you were desperate or something...

Yes, I am desperate.
My sister is a former addict.

Her walls are covered
in photos of crims.

I know what cops do,

and I know what my father does
when you're in trouble,

so if you can't help me, fine -
I'll do it myself.

(Rock music plays)

Alright. I'll go, then.

(Phone buttons beep)

(Mobile phone rings)

Where is she?
What have you done with her?

I'm sorry?

I'm sorry, do I know you?
Where's Tina? I know she's back.

I'm sorry, Tina who?

You know who I mean!
She would have called you!

Er, Tina Longmore? Isn't...
She's in the Philippines, isn't she?

Has something happened to her?
Rob? I need you, darling.

Should I ask your wife?

Coming, hon.
Now.

Er, Janene, isn't it? Why don't you
just come past my office?

Like they'd let me get to you.
Ring me. I'll take the call.

We can sort out
whatever this is, OK?

OK.

I thought you might need rescuing.

Just another lost soul in crisis.

Don't they know we've got
a home life? I'll get you a coffee.

Thanks.

What is Janene Ballich
doing on my doorstep at 7AM,

asking questions about Tina?

(Horse whinnies)

Yeah, holds well on a dirt track.

Nice even stride, pacing it nicely.
Very good!

Bit of promise on the turn.

If he's got anything,
he'll start to build here.

Oh, very good!
Nice instinct for the post!

Wha...?

Where in blazes
is the damn thing going?!

(Groans)

(Horses whinny)

I guess that's why they call it
the mounting yard.

MAN: Get that fucking horse
off my mare!

It's not my horse!
Belongs to a Jack someone.

Scott or... Irish, I think.

So, to win, all we need is a mare
on heat at the finish line.

Balls on a racehorse -
it's never a good thing.

MAN: Countries on the equator.

Uh... zero degrees latitude,
coming in from the east,

it'd be Gabon,
er, Congo, at Makoua, Somalia,

uh... Indonesia, at Sumatra.

What the hell's Chinese tapas?

I mean, for a start,
it's two different countries.

It's actually
two different continents.

He's right.
Yes, he is.

Just... part of the way forward for
me, OK? Part of the healing process.

What?

I've had a marriage gone foul,
my wife runs off with my cousin,

and now my Oriental lover turns out
to be a bloody Russian man.

I am hanging on by a thread here,
Jack!

Oooh, he's a bit snaky
this morning!

Yeah, but he makes a good point.

What the devil is this tay-pas?
I'm sorry.

I'm fine now.

Look, I'm just trying to keep up
with the times, you know?

Turn my back on the past,
and I am evolving.

In the pub game,
you need a point of difference.

You had a point of difference -
a place where time stands still.

Well, I'm going for
an Australian-Asian fusion.

Confusion, more like it.
Pass the dead horse, will you, Norm?

You try running this pub
with that as your customer base!

I'm surrounded
by fine-dining joints.

There's a new gastropub opening up
every second week.

And you've always been
the best establishment for gastro.

We know that. You're famous for it.
It's a sign.

It's tapas. It's just a word.

What does it mean?

It means... the same lunch menu,

just put in little dishes
with chopsticks.

It's about rebranding, Jack. That's
the buzz word. It's about survival!

First thing I think of
when I come in here, Stan.

'By a thread, ' I said.

Hanging by a thread.

What countries
does the Sargasso Sea connect?

None. That's a trick question.

That's part
of the North Atlantic Gyre.

Hey, for a bloke
who's never travelled past Map 44,

your geography's not bad, Wilbur.

Well, I was in the Merchant Navy!

You don't think I've spent all my
life sitting on this stool, do you?

Only the past 40 years.

So, how much is this little procedure
going to set us back?

Well, Cam's done a bit
of a spreadsheet.

Gelding doesn't come cheap, Jack.

It's like a divorce -
and with the same result.

Cam?

Uh, operational fees'll set us back
800 bucks,

and the anaesthetist is $450.

Kissing on-screen and horses
being knackered, can't watch 'em.

Post-operative stable call -
200 bucks. The creams are $50.

Worming paste - $25, and
the physiotherapist is 250 bucks.

Physiotherapist?

Yeah, well, the horse has to be
brought back to shape post-op.

Bottom line, Cam,
plus trainer's fees?

Bottom line, total - $8,655.

What?!
So, your share's just under three.

We... we've only owned the horse
for a week!

My credit card got cut up.
I haven't got a cent to give you!

You should have thought about that

before you came to us
with this proposition.

I didn't come to you with it.
You dumped it in my lap!

Let's not nit-pick!

Look, we're all friends, Jack.
We don't have to sort it out now.

Yeah, well, thanks.
I'll, in the meantime, sell a kidney.

I think I just ate it.

(Indistinct singing on TV)

Hey, you want to buy a fridge, eh?

Young Lester's bloke, he's trying
to get rid of his old ice chest.

I need to see that ad again.

Give it ten minutes.

Here we go.

These are all the audition tapes.
Help yourself.

Better warn you -
there's about 60 of them.

If you need anything,
I'll be outside.

Alright. Thanks.
No worries.

♪ In despair
My kitchen needs repair

♪ I want a fridge that... ♪
(Remote control beeps)

(Remote control beeps)

I've just been touring Queensland
with a production of My Fair Lady,

to some wonderful notices.

Most recently, I've been playing
the role of Cinna in Julius Caesar

with the wonderful
Gordon Street Players.

♪ Ridgey Didge, Ridgey Didge

♪ More than just a fridge

♪ Ridgey Didge! ♪

Ciao, one and all.
WOMAN: Night, Robert.

Till evening draws its curtain,
my friends.

Night, Bobby. (Laughs)
(Laughs)

Hail, Caesar!
Au revoir, good sir.

Adieu.
WOMAN: Bye.

MAN: Take care, Bobby.

(Tyres screech)

(Engine roars)
Arggh!

♪ GENTLE PIANO MUSIC

'He was a man.
Take him for all in all.

I shall not look upon
his like again.'

I rarely use the word 'thespian',
but Robert Ellis Warburton -

darling Bobby, to those of us
who knew and adored him -

truly was a son of Thespis.

Who knows how far his talents
could have taken him?

Chookas, good friend.

Ciao.

(Applause)

MAN: Bravo.

MAN: Well done, mate. Well done.
Thank you so much.

Uh, Sybil McLeod?
Mmm?

Jack Irish. That was very touching.

Mmm. From the heart.
Mmm.

You were his agent, I understand?

Mmm, through thick and thin, the
good times, the not-so-good times.

Bobby didn't make a move
without consulting me first.

So you'd know about his most recent
job that he was hired for, then.

Of course! He was about to play
Cinna in Julius Caesar.

Oh, it was a small role, but...

This was more a sort of
a private acting thing, I think.

In what sense?

Well, he was playing Travis Dilthey,
a company executive.

I don't know of that one.
Are you sure it was him?

Er, yeah, yeah, it was him.

So it was a corporate gig -
a training video or something?

Would he have been paid for this?

Very well, I would suggest.

The little shit!

All these years
I've been carrying him!

Let me look into it.

I'm his executor.
I have access to all these records.

Listen, you were right
in what you said in the eulogy -

he really was a terrific actor.

He certainly had me convinced.

You dirty, shifty bastard.

Ah, reception. Spielberg, is it?

(Knocks at window)

I thought I was very clear -
you're on sabbatical.

What do you think you're doing?
Just give me a second, will you?

Have a look at this.
Where the hell did you get this?

Just hang on.

It starts to get interesting
around about here.

Small detail you may note -
that's not Jack Irish.

Why did you go against
my strict orders?

Someone in this shithole's
got to do the real police work.

And just for the record, I did lie
to you before - Jack Irish is a mate.

You can thank me later.

You need to get up here right away.

ORTON: Hey, Linda?
That's good.

Feel like attending
an epoch-changing cocktail party

launching some development
on Mindanao

the country doesn't need
and can't afford?

Why? Who's there?

Waiters with good booze!

A few property developers,
some pissed Australian diplomats,

and the odd local official
having his palm greased.

Sounds like my kind of party.
Is there a dress code?

Hello. Oh, that's me.

And this is my guest, Linda Hillier.
I rang earlier.

Gin and tonic?
Yes.

Salamat.

This power plant's
close to Lanao del Sur.

That's Hadji Adhib's territory,
isn't it?

Mmm, it's still a little way off,
but JI are there.

(Coughs and puffs)

And all the other acronyms -
MNLF, NPA,

and my personal favourite, MILF.

Orton! Glad to see you dressed
for the occasion, mate.

Yes, I thought
if I keep my story simple, elegant,

work with natural colours
and fibres,

then I won't look as silly
as everyone else here does.

(Laughs)

James Cottle, Linda Hillier -

international columnist
extraordinaire.

Jim. Good to meet you, love.

Linda speaks nine languages
and lectures on particle physics.

I wouldn't believe too much of that.

Never believe anything
Orton has to say, darl.

This power plant of yours is
very impressive. Is it coal-powered?

No, it runs on cow farts. (Laughs)

This is the Third World, love!

Poor people don't have the luxury

to wait around
for alternative energies.

Their needs are simple -
'Get us out of poverty

as quickly, cheaply, and reliably
as possible before we die.'

And that's what I'm doing -

a multibillion-dollar injection
in the economy

and work for 1,400 locals.

So, that's yes to coal-powered.

Is it safe building on Mindanao?

It's a pretty lawless island,
isn't it?

Well, tell me where isn't.

The Ukraine? Ethiopia?
The entire Middle bloody East?

I mean, what would you have us do -
cower on a postage stamp somewhere?

I don't shape my business model
on terrorists.

You know, the best way to fight
madmen like Hadji Adhib

is to bring this island
out of the Dark Ages.

Power means progress.

(Camera clicks)
Excuse me.

This is not going to help
the Muslims.

Yeah, I noticed.

They're only powering
Christian towns.

The old Spanish fort. Pretty.

Yes.

Linda Hillier, is it?

I'm sorry, how do you know my name?

You're wearing it.
Oh! Yes.

And yet, you appear to be nameless.

Made quite a name for yourself as
a journalist back home, didn't you?

So, that's all on my name tag, is it?

You were quite the troublemaker
in Australia.

Is that why you came here?
Who are you again?

'Cause this is a very different
country to the one you're used to.

You see, troublemakers,
they don't do well here.

Well, I've loved our chat,
whoever you are,

Mr Anonymous Man in Dark Suit.

Boyd. Fraser.

And do you work for James Cottle
or the Embassy,

Fraser, or Boyd,
whichever comes first?

I'm a private contractor.

Contracted to do what?

Um, excuse me, do you mind
if I take a photo of you together?

See, the thing I like about
Cherry Blossom

is that she seems very real,
sort of genuine.

Mm-hm.

She's got a kind heart, Jack.
You can see by the look in her eyes.

She's like your Linda.

Then when I put my hobbies in,
it was snap!

It was like we were soulmates.

In fairness, you did also think that

about that bloke
from the Russian mafia.

Oh, yeah,

but I'd be very unlucky
to get two scams on the Internet.

Yeah. Good point.

Good luck, mate.
OK, Jack. See you later.

(Engine roars, tyres screech)

(Man whistles)
Jack Irish, you're a nosy bastard.

(Laughs) Seriously, mate, what is
that - Marquess of Queensberry?

Karate?

Let's see how the old leg
is working, eh?

(Cries out)

Give a few more! Get in there!

Who is Pier Okant?
I don't know!

Kick him!
Arggh! Arggh!

Who's Pier Okant?!

I don't know
what you're talking about!

(Scuffling and shouting)

Who's Pier Okant?
G'day, mate!

Who's Pier Okant?!

I don't know
what you're talking about!

I think you understand,
don't you, hey?

But just to make sure you do...

Oh! Arggh!

(Laughter)

(Gun fires)

This is my first and only offering!

Piss off, pal.
This is a private matter.

(Gun fires)
MAN: Arggh!

Maybe I wasn't clear. Piss off!
My bloody foot!

Oh, sorry about that.
It must have misfired.

(Dogs bark)

Bloody king-hit me
and pissed all over me!

What are you doing here?

This is from Harry.
It's a loan to tide you over.

Maybe it'll pay
for the dry-cleaning.

Here, take this.

For the walk home, yeah?
Yeah.

You right, Jack?
Yeah.

Look, I'd drive you home,
but I got new upholstery.

Now, how do we know who to trust?

We don't.

We must reach for hope.

For hope is the Lord's shield
that we draw around ourselves...

...and trust is our sword.

God! What happened to you?

I thought you were the one
who didn't like drop-ins.

Oh, I'll go, then.

No, no, I just was wondering
why you were here.

Well, I didn't come to apologise.

OK.

Sorry.

Uh, sandwich?

We must reach for hope.Reach!

Not fall prey to the darkness, to
the blackness that eats away at us.

We must reach for hope.

Here, in the loving embrace of
Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour,

we are safe!

(Cheering and applause)

Jesus is in the room tonight.
Can you feel him?!

(Cheering and applause)

Hallelujah!
(Cheering and applause)

John 16:33 - 'Take heart,
for I have overcome the world.'

With hands in the air,
we reach for hope!

(Band plays)

♪ Yeah... ♪

You messed up
two of your Bible quotes.

Where is she?

I have no idea where Tina is.

Wrong answer. You're supposed to
say 'the Philippines', aren't you?

Well, then,
be relieved she hasn't called you.

You should listen
to your own sermons, Rob.

You're married
to your childhood sweetheart.