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1
00:00:01,760 --> 00:00:03,600
You got a baby coming.
2
00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:05,000
A car seat just won't fit.
3
00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:07,080
We tried it on the turnpike
with a watermelon.
4
00:00:07,210 --> 00:00:10,400
If it's okay, Lou, I'd like a
few moments alone with her.
5
00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:18,820
That's a 30-footer.
6
00:00:18,860 --> 00:00:20,100
35.
7
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Calvin, General Manager
8
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,440
of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Motors.
9
00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,499
Oh, I get it.
10
00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:26,699
Like the NBA legend.
11
00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:28,940
You guys are just copying
Shaq Motors across town.
12
00:00:28,980 --> 00:00:31,140
No, no. He's copying me.
13
00:00:32,740 --> 00:00:34,240
Always has.
14
00:00:34,500 --> 00:00:37,360
I'm a Laker center. He's a Laker center.
15
00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:40,280
I buy a car lot. He buys a car lot.
16
00:00:40,860 --> 00:00:42,620
I star in a movie.
17
00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:46,040
He stars in... "Shazam."
18
00:00:46,140 --> 00:00:47,320
It was "Kazaam."
19
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:48,900
I got this, Melvin.
20
00:00:48,980 --> 00:00:50,240
It's Calvin.
21
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:51,916
Kareem, I didn't know
you owned a car lot.
22
00:00:51,940 --> 00:00:53,460
I come down here every so often
23
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:54,660
to make sure things are going right.
24
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:56,179
Oh, yeah. It's a real morale boost
25
00:00:56,180 --> 00:00:59,180
for those that work here
the other 360 days a year.
26
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,699
Morale was boosted pretty high
27
00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,360
when I dropped those 50 skyhooks
28
00:01:02,420 --> 00:01:04,600
on your co-ed recreation-league game.
29
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,540
Still didn't play no defense.
30
00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:08,620
So, you interested in this RV?
31
00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,320
Oh. Oh, no. I'm just, uh,
32
00:01:10,340 --> 00:01:11,880
helping my friend trade in his car.
33
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,240
Long may you run, Cherry.
34
00:01:15,720 --> 00:01:17,440
Long may you run.
35
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,430
Well, look, why don't we
just go for a test drive?
36
00:01:23,460 --> 00:01:26,590
I don't know.
37
00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:30,740
All the comforts of home,
38
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:33,400
except your address is Adventure, USA.
39
00:01:33,500 --> 00:01:36,340
I have always wanted to take the
family out on the pavement,
40
00:01:36,420 --> 00:01:38,680
road-trip it like one of
those families on TV.
41
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:40,400
Close your eyes, Louis.
42
00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,620
Turn the keys. Embark.
43
00:02:23,140 --> 00:02:26,080
The Huangs across America.
44
00:02:26,220 --> 00:02:28,840
So, cash? Or how does this work?
45
00:02:28,890 --> 00:02:30,020
Louis!
46
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,360
Honey's in labor! Sh... Hey.
47
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,520
The co-pilot from "Airplane."
48
00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,400
C-Come on! We gotta go!
49
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,400
This close to a sale.
50
00:02:51,700 --> 00:02:55,900
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
51
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:00,379
Can you believe it?
52
00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,380
Our baby boy came out a girl.
53
00:03:02,460 --> 00:03:04,140
What a show.
54
00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:05,260
It doesn't happen much,
55
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,320
but the technician misread the sonogram.
56
00:03:07,380 --> 00:03:08,846
And what we thought was his deedle-doo
57
00:03:08,870 --> 00:03:10,670
was actually a thing-a-ma-which.
58
00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:11,900
- Umbilical cord.
- Yeah.
59
00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,120
So, now we need a girl's name.
60
00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:16,110
Did you already have a
boy name picked out?
61
00:03:16,180 --> 00:03:18,500
Well, Marvin insisted
on a nautical theme,
62
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,440
so we were down to two... Jonah and...
63
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:22,510
Ishmael.
64
00:03:22,550 --> 00:03:23,940
So a happy miracle, indeed.
65
00:03:23,980 --> 00:03:26,980
And just think, your
baby's due tomorrow.
66
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,950
Your book... "A Case of
a Knife to the Brain."
67
00:03:29,990 --> 00:03:31,999
Oh, gosh.
68
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,540
Already? I almost forgot.
69
00:03:33,580 --> 00:03:36,260
You did send birth announcements
to the entire HOA.
70
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,400
Oh, that was a joke.
71
00:03:38,420 --> 00:03:41,340
Of course I don't think my
book is an actual baby...
72
00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:44,080
though I did spend more
than nine months on it.
73
00:03:44,100 --> 00:03:45,900
What did you mean by "deedle-doo"?
74
00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:50,940
So, about your baby sister...
75
00:03:50,980 --> 00:03:53,440
No, we're not naming her "Jamiroquai."
76
00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,380
Alright. We'll circle
back to this in a week
77
00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:56,576
when you're not so close to it.
78
00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:58,620
Yeah, about that.
79
00:03:58,660 --> 00:04:00,320
We need to have a talk.
80
00:04:00,700 --> 00:04:02,140
A Saturn talk.
81
00:04:02,420 --> 00:04:03,760
Whoa.
82
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:06,960
Saturn secure.
83
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,900
What happens in here stays in here.
84
00:04:08,990 --> 00:04:10,030
Shoot.
85
00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:12,919
I'm moving to New York with my mom,
86
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,530
and I got into this school
that teaches fashion,
87
00:04:14,540 --> 00:04:16,270
and I don't think I can pass it up.
88
00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:20,380
Sorry. I know this sucks.
89
00:04:20,980 --> 00:04:23,070
That's...
90
00:04:23,110 --> 00:04:24,360
awesome!
91
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,920
- It is?
- Totally! New York City?
92
00:04:26,980 --> 00:04:28,399
You can chill out in the park,
93
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:29,979
order pizzas at 3:00 a.m.,
94
00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:32,160
and Beastie Boys songs will
make a lot more sense now.
95
00:04:32,260 --> 00:04:33,880
Why is there no sleep till Brooklyn?
96
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,690
Well, you're about to find out.
97
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:37,420
Wow. I thought this talk
98
00:04:37,430 --> 00:04:38,720
was gonna be a whole lot tougher.
99
00:04:38,740 --> 00:04:41,520
Please. You know me
better than that. What?
100
00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:43,790
Did you think I was gonna
start crying or something?
101
00:04:49,300 --> 00:04:51,500
♪ Happy Book Day to you ♪
102
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:53,300
♪ Happy Book Day to you ♪
103
00:04:53,340 --> 00:04:54,350
♪ Happy... ♪
104
00:04:54,380 --> 00:04:55,960
I have a reading for my novel today,
105
00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:58,100
and I need to decide on a passage.
106
00:04:59,380 --> 00:05:02,800
"Snap! And suddenly the
only sound was the rope,
107
00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:04,419
creaking under his weight
108
00:05:04,420 --> 00:05:06,420
and the fading pendulum scrape
109
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:10,120
of his steel-toe boots
against the hickory planks."
110
00:05:10,150 --> 00:05:11,150
Powerful.
111
00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:12,639
Do you like that passage
112
00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,200
or the one where they find
the paperboy's bloody bike?
113
00:05:15,260 --> 00:05:17,700
Hmm, tough call. They're both great.
114
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:18,760
Uh, where is this reading?
115
00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:19,820
The bookstore.
116
00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:21,999
My publisher thinks it
might help boost sales,
117
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,739
which could lead to TV spots,
118
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,960
a book tour... maybe even Oprah.
119
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,700
The Big "O."
120
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:29,899
I-I mean, "big" like a star.
121
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:31,340
She actually looks great now.
122
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:33,340
And she did before, too.
123
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,200
Um, this is great.
124
00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,160
Uh, I'll get the boys, and
we'll all go to the reading.
125
00:05:37,180 --> 00:05:38,580
But it's my job.
126
00:05:38,700 --> 00:05:40,880
I don't go to the restaurant
and stare at you.
127
00:05:40,900 --> 00:05:41,920
Remember?
128
00:05:41,940 --> 00:05:43,756
We found that it didn't
improve your productivity.
129
00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:46,120
But this is your big day, and
it'll be good for the boys.
130
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,999
They learn by watching
us, and they should see
131
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,180
how your hard work pays off.
132
00:05:49,260 --> 00:05:52,220
You would just be taking up
space from actual book-buyers.
133
00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,280
Plus, if I want to read
the graphic sex scenes,
134
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:56,970
I need to feel comfortable
doing all the sound effects.
135
00:06:00,510 --> 00:06:02,120
_
136
00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:04,100
"So You Wanna Be a Psychiatrist"?
137
00:06:04,180 --> 00:06:06,340
You know how I plan to
become Doctor President.
138
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:07,926
Well, I always assumed I'd be a surgeon.
139
00:06:07,950 --> 00:06:09,110
The respect...
140
00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,600
The mastery of fine motor skills...
141
00:06:10,660 --> 00:06:12,080
The ladies.
142
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:14,380
But after spending three
hours in the hospital
143
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,750
visiting Honey's baby,
144
00:06:15,790 --> 00:06:17,100
I don't think I can stand the smell.
145
00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,690
Can you mail a hot dog?
146
00:06:19,590 --> 00:06:21,059
I'm making a list of stuff I want Nicole
147
00:06:21,060 --> 00:06:22,380
to send me from New York...
148
00:06:22,460 --> 00:06:23,800
a Statue of Liberty lighter,
149
00:06:23,820 --> 00:06:25,980
whatever a knish is, a bullet.
150
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,040
Any ideas for her going-away gift?
151
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:29,499
I'm always game to power-browse
152
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:30,919
Things Remembered at the mall.
153
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,160
Why would I get her a gift?
154
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:33,900
Because she's your friend.
155
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,420
I have tons of friends.
156
00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:36,590
I'm not trying to dole out prizes
157
00:06:36,610 --> 00:06:37,919
every time one of them skips town.
158
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:39,440
But Nicole is different.
159
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:41,150
Oh, because she's a chick?
160
00:06:41,180 --> 00:06:42,480
That's sexist, homey.
161
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:45,150
No, I mean, you two are so close.
162
00:06:45,190 --> 00:06:46,400
Aren't you sad she's moving?
163
00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:47,860
Sad? Pfft.
164
00:06:47,900 --> 00:06:49,140
She's only leaving for school,
165
00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:51,360
and she'll be back on
the holidays and stuff.
166
00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:53,899
Guys, it's not a big deal.
167
00:06:55,140 --> 00:06:57,200
"The lady doth protest
too much, methinks."
168
00:06:57,230 --> 00:07:00,220
Uh, can we stay on Eddie for a second?
169
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:02,581
I think he's pretending he
doesn't care Nicole is leaving.
170
00:07:02,670 --> 00:07:03,800
Yeah, that's what I...
171
00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:06,440
He's in denial. I read
about this in my book.
172
00:07:06,470 --> 00:07:08,960
He needs to admit he's sad
and talk about his feelings.
173
00:07:09,020 --> 00:07:10,920
Or he might dissociate completely
174
00:07:10,980 --> 00:07:12,480
and chop us all up in our sleep.
175
00:07:12,540 --> 00:07:15,540
That's an extreme example in
here, but it does happen.
176
00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:18,420
Boys, get ready. We're gonna
surprise Mom at her reading.
177
00:07:19,820 --> 00:07:21,060
We're going to the bookstore.
178
00:07:21,090 --> 00:07:23,340
- Hallelujah!
- Get ready to feast, brain!
179
00:07:26,220 --> 00:07:27,590
Wow, look at this line.
180
00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:29,240
It's like Mommy is Space Mountain.
181
00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:32,420
Sorry. We're not letting
anyone else in today.
182
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:33,980
Fire code.
183
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,900
We'll have plenty of books tomorrow.
184
00:07:36,980 --> 00:07:38,419
You know what? That's fine.
185
00:07:38,420 --> 00:07:39,840
She's doing it, boys.
186
00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:42,000
We'll just surprise her back home.
187
00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:44,260
You made me put on my dress shorts.
188
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,340
I'm a failure.
189
00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,220
Hey, Jessica.
190
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,400
We know what happened at the reading.
191
00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:14,740
You do?
192
00:08:14,770 --> 00:08:16,500
We went there to surprise you.
193
00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:19,240
Look, it isn't easy to say, but I...
194
00:08:19,340 --> 00:08:21,770
Absolutely killed it!
195
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,426
It was so crowded we
couldn't even get in.
196
00:08:23,450 --> 00:08:26,280
We were so excited, we made you...
197
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,190
A case of a knife to the brain.
198
00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:30,340
Cake!
199
00:08:30,450 --> 00:08:32,300
A cake of a knife to the brain!
200
00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:33,900
One line, Ma.
201
00:08:36,830 --> 00:08:38,220
Well, tell us all about it.
202
00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:44,380
What can I say? The book is a hit.
203
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,320
- Alright!
- Yes, Mom!
204
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,600
But it's not a big deal.
205
00:08:47,710 --> 00:08:49,560
You're right. It is a very big deal.
206
00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:50,879
Boys, your mother's hard work
207
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,339
has led to this great success.
208
00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:55,060
How big a hit are we
talking? Are we rich?
209
00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:56,280
Can we get a pet puma?!
210
00:08:56,310 --> 00:08:57,440
Let's just say the store
211
00:08:57,480 --> 00:09:00,280
has never sold as many
copies on a first day.
212
00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,290
So, a-a book tour? TV interviews?
213
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:05,540
Oh, my God. Is Regis on the table?
214
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:06,920
I don't want to jinx it,
215
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,040
so just don't go crazy spending money.
216
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,959
Yeah, nobody "MC Hammer" this thing.
217
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,680
The river on the east
side is the East River,
218
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:19,170
but the river on the west is the Hudson?
219
00:09:19,210 --> 00:09:20,460
Good luck, Nicole.
220
00:09:20,670 --> 00:09:22,380
At least he's thinking about her.
221
00:09:22,460 --> 00:09:23,520
That's good, right?
222
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,880
I'm afraid not. It's
classic sublimation.
223
00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:28,180
His denial has turned into productivity.
224
00:09:28,310 --> 00:09:30,020
He's losing his sense of self.
225
00:09:30,050 --> 00:09:31,880
When has Eddie ever
researched for pleasure?
226
00:09:31,920 --> 00:09:33,040
My God.
227
00:09:33,150 --> 00:09:34,920
He needs to face his feelings soon,
228
00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:36,199
or when it finally hits him,
229
00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:37,819
he'll lash out at someone.
230
00:09:37,820 --> 00:09:39,260
Chop. Chop.
231
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,040
Hey, dawg.
232
00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:46,030
Evan and I were just
talking about Nicole.
233
00:09:46,070 --> 00:09:48,070
Your best friend who's moving away.
234
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,320
You two sure have had some
great times together.
235
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:51,620
Mm.
236
00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,240
Yeah, we have had some great times.
237
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:19,940
Thanks for reminding me, guys.
238
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,599
There's so much stuff I have to get out
239
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:22,899
of her car before she goes...
240
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:25,060
my CD Player, Bootyman hat,
241
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:26,840
drive-thru window gorilla mask.
242
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:29,760
For our door... padlock or dead bolt?
243
00:10:33,140 --> 00:10:36,360
Louis! What did I tell you
about spending money?
244
00:10:36,380 --> 00:10:39,200
There isn't even enough room
in the pantry for all of this.
245
00:10:39,250 --> 00:10:42,060
True. But there is room...
246
00:10:42,090 --> 00:10:43,599
in here.
247
00:10:46,180 --> 00:10:49,240
What... is... this?
248
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:52,360
It's a 1998 NationWheeler with
all the bells and whistles.
249
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:53,460
Why is this?
250
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:55,940
Now we can all go on your
book tour as a family.
251
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:57,779
Finally take that road
trip across America
252
00:10:57,780 --> 00:10:58,979
we've always talked about.
253
00:10:58,980 --> 00:11:00,310
We can see the Heartland.
254
00:11:00,340 --> 00:11:01,456
And the regions of the South
255
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,200
once decimated by the boll weevil.
256
00:11:03,310 --> 00:11:05,060
How much did this house-truck cost?
257
00:11:05,110 --> 00:11:06,620
I knew that would come
up, but don't worry.
258
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,800
It's a business write-off.
259
00:11:09,240 --> 00:11:11,480
_
260
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,800
Now as we drive across the land,
261
00:11:13,820 --> 00:11:16,840
everyone will know best-selling
author Jessica Huang is aboard.
262
00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:18,990
Is that my driver's license photo?
263
00:11:20,230 --> 00:11:23,300
Um, so, what do you say?
Huangs across America?
264
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:29,440
Sure.
265
00:11:29,510 --> 00:11:31,340
Yeah.
266
00:11:31,940 --> 00:11:33,710
I live here now.
267
00:11:36,740 --> 00:11:39,320
I remember packing for the
big city around your age.
268
00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:40,500
Of course, back then all you needed
269
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:42,340
was a bar of soap and your wits.
270
00:11:43,260 --> 00:11:44,920
We're gonna miss you, Nicole.
271
00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,620
And so will little Maria.
272
00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:50,990
Ah, sounds like Coral's stirring.
273
00:11:51,030 --> 00:11:52,200
I'll go get Coral.
274
00:11:52,220 --> 00:11:54,600
No, no. Stay. I'll get Maria.
275
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:58,160
Mm!
276
00:12:01,740 --> 00:12:04,040
Hey. Still going to New York, huh?
277
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,220
Yeah. I leave tomorrow at 3:00.
278
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:08,040
Phew. I thought I missed you.
279
00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:11,140
I left a bunch of crap in the Saturn
280
00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:12,350
and wanted to get it back.
281
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,420
Yeah. Here you go.
282
00:12:16,450 --> 00:12:19,090
Whoa. My old Kris Kross CD!
283
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:20,680
I was getting the car ready to sell,
284
00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:22,500
and that was stuck to a Frosty lid.
285
00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:24,800
Wait. You're selling the Saturn?
286
00:12:24,830 --> 00:12:26,640
New York's way too expensive for a car.
287
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,700
That's why all the cops ride horses.
288
00:12:28,770 --> 00:12:29,959
I'll take the subway, no big deal.
289
00:12:29,960 --> 00:12:31,139
No big deal?
290
00:12:31,140 --> 00:12:33,039
You're cool with just
dumping the Saturn?
291
00:12:33,040 --> 00:12:35,340
Who cares about all the
good times we had in there?
292
00:12:35,370 --> 00:12:36,479
And our Saturn talks...
293
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:37,616
I guess those meant nothing to you.
294
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,100
Now you're upset?
295
00:12:39,140 --> 00:12:40,456
You're more worked up about the car
296
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:41,780
than when I said I was leaving!
297
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,220
Well, to be fair, the car
isn't moving to New York
298
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,680
and totally bailing on me for
the rest of high school!
299
00:12:46,790 --> 00:12:48,199
You know what? Forget it.
300
00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:50,220
Have fun in New York! Peace.
301
00:12:53,430 --> 00:12:56,490
Aren't the Cascades enchanting, family?
302
00:12:57,730 --> 00:12:59,900
No, thank you.
303
00:13:00,830 --> 00:13:03,600
Oh, my God. Is that Bigfoot?
304
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,780
Emery, get the camera!
305
00:13:06,070 --> 00:13:07,870
Set it to burst mode!
306
00:13:07,910 --> 00:13:10,070
Then just bring it here!
307
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:12,740
Louis?
308
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:14,140
Oh, hey.
309
00:13:14,310 --> 00:13:16,850
I thought you and I could celebrate
310
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,350
with some champagne.
311
00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:20,959
I just want you to take a second
312
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:22,960
to really soak it all in.
313
00:13:23,060 --> 00:13:24,070
You did it.
314
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:25,460
Thanks.
315
00:13:25,490 --> 00:13:26,760
And you deserve some fun,
316
00:13:26,790 --> 00:13:28,860
so tomorrow, I'm buying
his-and-her Jet Skis
317
00:13:28,890 --> 00:13:31,800
so we can zip around Havasu
like a pair of dragonflies.
318
00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:33,680
They're not cheap, but
neither is happiness.
319
00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,040
The book is a flop, Louis!
320
00:13:36,140 --> 00:13:37,580
What?
321
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:42,120
It sold less than 100 copies nationwide.
322
00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:43,880
What about that line at the store?
323
00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:45,759
Everyone was there for
some other book...
324
00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:46,779
"Boy Witch."
325
00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:49,980
Written by a homeless British
teacher of all things.
326
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:51,880
Then why did you say it was a hit?
327
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,060
Because between you and the cake
328
00:13:54,190 --> 00:13:56,790
and Evan's big saucer
eyes going blink, blink,
329
00:13:56,820 --> 00:13:58,320
I didn't have a choice.
330
00:13:59,990 --> 00:14:02,439
I guess people just weren't
ready for your talent.
331
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,799
But, hey, maybe your
work will be worth more
332
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,140
when you're dead like Monet.
333
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:12,420
We'll have to cancel the road trip.
334
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,220
But the boys were so excited.
335
00:14:15,340 --> 00:14:17,200
But can't just fake a book tour.
336
00:14:17,810 --> 00:14:19,450
Everything will be fine.
337
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:21,950
I'll return this tomorrow,
and then when I get back,
338
00:14:21,980 --> 00:14:23,876
we'll tell the boys what
happened with your book.
339
00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,740
Okay?
340
00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:27,490
Okay.
341
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,630
Good night, Havasu.
342
00:14:36,060 --> 00:14:37,380
Morning, Ma.
343
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,100
I'm returning the RV, so let me know
344
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,479
if you hid any chewing
tobacco in the seat pockets.
345
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:47,000
_
346
00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:48,640
What?!
347
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,400
Where's the first stop
on the book tour, Mom?
348
00:14:57,410 --> 00:14:58,810
Uh, Miami.
349
00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:00,240
But we're going north.
350
00:15:00,270 --> 00:15:01,500
It's a shortcut.
351
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,440
Huh. Why couldn't we wait for Dad?
352
00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:04,599
He'll join us later.
353
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,580
There was an emergency
at Cattleman's Ranch.
354
00:15:06,660 --> 00:15:07,820
What happened?!
355
00:15:07,850 --> 00:15:09,420
Hector's earring fell into the chili!
356
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,500
Let Mommy focus on the road, please!
357
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,860
Eddie, I was hoping we
could really dig in
358
00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:16,100
on your childhood today.
359
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,840
Go... away!
360
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,660
We're gonna reschedule.
361
00:15:22,900 --> 00:15:25,480
Hey, uh, is Kareem here?
362
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,200
They always ask for Kareem.
363
00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:28,800
He's showing a customer an RV.
364
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,810
Stupid question, but what
does "RV" stand for?
365
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:34,700
Oh, sorry, sorry.
366
00:15:34,780 --> 00:15:36,710
Did my wife return an RV this morning?
367
00:15:36,750 --> 00:15:38,580
20-foot ad of an Asian lady on the side?
368
00:15:38,610 --> 00:15:40,800
This morning? No.
369
00:15:40,820 --> 00:15:42,370
Damn it. She took our kids,
370
00:15:42,380 --> 00:15:43,790
and I have no idea where they went.
371
00:15:43,820 --> 00:15:46,340
Well, our RVs come standard with LoJack.
372
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:48,000
I could get the tracker
and help you find them.
373
00:15:48,020 --> 00:15:49,320
Oh, great.
374
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,760
Uh, you and Kareem, right?
375
00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:54,240
There it is!
376
00:15:56,020 --> 00:15:57,700
Another win for Team Kareem.
377
00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,360
Kareem did it.
378
00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:01,840
Not the computer inside the LoJack.
379
00:16:04,270 --> 00:16:05,600
That's not good.
380
00:16:05,660 --> 00:16:08,100
Don't worry. All the
knives are accounted for.
381
00:16:09,060 --> 00:16:10,820
Hey, where's your mom?
382
00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:12,760
Doing a reading at the bookstore.
383
00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:15,960
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar?!
384
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,000
Dude, Nicole is gonna flip.
385
00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,710
She has a poster of you
fighting Bruce Lee in her room.
386
00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,360
Whoa. An RV is no place to be sad.
387
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,150
My best friend is moving
away, and we got in a fight,
388
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,970
but I'm cool. I'm cool.
389
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,400
A double "I'm cool"?
390
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,640
Let's not gloss over this.
391
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,360
I have three years of high school left,
392
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,570
and she's the only friend
who really gets me,
393
00:16:38,610 --> 00:16:39,640
who speaks Eddie.
394
00:16:39,720 --> 00:16:40,960
I take it you're Eddie?
395
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,850
I get it. It's hard to say goodbye.
396
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,380
But you're making this about you.
397
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,550
You got to realize that
it's hard on her, too.
398
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,660
Why? She's the one leaving me.
399
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:53,280
Look, I'm at my car
lot five days a year.
400
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:56,360
When I leave, my
employees are super sad,
401
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:57,519
but they're not seeing things
402
00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,520
from where I stand at 7'2".
403
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,019
I have to leave my best
friends, K... Ke...
404
00:17:02,020 --> 00:17:03,820
Kevin, all of them.
405
00:17:03,970 --> 00:17:05,440
I didn't even think about that.
406
00:17:05,470 --> 00:17:07,520
Don't let your best friend leave
407
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,870
without knowing she's your best friend.
408
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:12,610
I get it, Kareem. Thanks.
409
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,726
I thought for sure that you were
gonna use a basketball metaphor.
410
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,300
Well, you know, I'm a man
of, uh, many talents.
411
00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:20,320
They used to think they
had me pinned and then...
412
00:17:20,350 --> 00:17:22,480
skyhook.
413
00:17:22,540 --> 00:17:25,100
That's how you break down a wall.
414
00:17:25,140 --> 00:17:27,360
He can fly now?
415
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:29,260
Guess I should've given Jennifer Hong
416
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,880
the ability to defy physics.
417
00:17:30,890 --> 00:17:32,160
Garbage.
418
00:17:33,870 --> 00:17:35,000
Jessica?
419
00:17:35,030 --> 00:17:37,339
Why'd you run off with the boys?
420
00:17:37,340 --> 00:17:38,460
I stole your idea.
421
00:17:38,470 --> 00:17:39,810
I'm taking them on a fake book tour.
422
00:17:39,820 --> 00:17:41,840
It's going well. Tomorrow
we tackle the Panhandle.
423
00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:43,580
Jessica, what's going on?
424
00:17:44,710 --> 00:17:47,450
I don't want the boys to
find out about my book.
425
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,140
They'll never respect me again.
426
00:17:49,260 --> 00:17:50,960
That's ridiculous.
427
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:54,520
Is it? You said yourself
they learn from watching us.
428
00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:57,280
If they see my book is a dud,
you know what they learn?
429
00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:59,290
That their mom is a failure.
430
00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:05,120
Just because the book didn't sell
431
00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:06,679
doesn't mean you are a failure,
432
00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,219
but you can't hide this.
433
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:10,040
It's just as important
for the boys to see
434
00:18:10,050 --> 00:18:12,640
how you deal with a loss as
it is to see you succeed.
435
00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:16,700
It's just I've never failed
like this before in my life.
436
00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:18,620
I know.
437
00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:20,750
But I've failed hundreds of times,
438
00:18:20,780 --> 00:18:22,240
and you were always there for me.
439
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:23,860
Let me be there for you.
440
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,480
You have failed a lot.
441
00:18:28,260 --> 00:18:29,740
Building your own dirt bike.
442
00:18:30,190 --> 00:18:31,660
Beekeeping.
443
00:18:31,690 --> 00:18:33,400
- Cattleman's in a cup.
- Yep.
444
00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:35,560
The banjo, "Top Hat" Louis,
445
00:18:35,580 --> 00:18:37,000
forming your own break-dance crew.
446
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:38,179
Okay, let's go tell the boys.
447
00:18:38,180 --> 00:18:39,639
I'm just gonna finish this chapter.
448
00:18:39,640 --> 00:18:40,660
No.
449
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,400
Boys, your mother has something
450
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:44,520
she needs to tell you about her book.
451
00:18:46,170 --> 00:18:47,359
Sometimes you forget
452
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,600
how stupid the rest of the world is.
453
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,240
Like how all anybody cares about
454
00:18:51,280 --> 00:18:53,680
is whether some snotty
British boy can fly and...
455
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,280
Eddie? What's wrong?
456
00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,620
I never said goodbye to Nicole.
457
00:18:59,650 --> 00:19:01,200
And she leaves in an hour,
458
00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:03,500
and now we're here on this book tour.
459
00:19:03,690 --> 00:19:04,900
I messed up.
460
00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:07,860
Book tour is cancelled.
461
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,540
We're going home so
Eddie can see Nicole.
462
00:19:09,860 --> 00:19:11,680
- Sweet!
- Yes.
463
00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:12,760
You're not gonna tell them?
464
00:19:12,780 --> 00:19:15,640
I will later, but right
now, our son needs us.
465
00:19:15,740 --> 00:19:19,040
The one thing I can't
ever fail is our boys.
466
00:19:19,070 --> 00:19:20,100
Oh!
467
00:19:20,140 --> 00:19:21,880
How about a heads-up?
468
00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:28,080
Damn it! We're 40 minutes late!
469
00:19:32,590 --> 00:19:34,500
Nicole! You're still here!
470
00:19:34,540 --> 00:19:35,870
I thought you were leaving at 3:00.
471
00:19:35,890 --> 00:19:37,090
I'm leaving at 5:00.
472
00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:38,580
I told you 3:00 because
473
00:19:38,590 --> 00:19:40,830
it always takes you longer
than it should to come around.
474
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,460
You really do speak Eddie.
475
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,430
Got time for one last Saturn talk?
476
00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,600
I'm sorry I was a dope.
477
00:19:47,670 --> 00:19:49,800
I'm just... really gonna miss you.
478
00:19:49,870 --> 00:19:51,200
You're going to miss me?
479
00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:53,100
How am I supposed to
make it without you?
480
00:19:53,160 --> 00:19:54,510
You had permanent shotgun.
481
00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:56,300
I mean, you've been there
through everything.
482
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,600
I know it sucks we won't be
together talking like this,
483
00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:01,780
but you're gonna kill it in New York.
484
00:20:01,820 --> 00:20:03,380
You're Nicole.
485
00:20:03,460 --> 00:20:04,700
I'm gonna miss you, girl.
486
00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,120
I'm gonna miss you, fool.
487
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:13,920
Are you crying?
488
00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:16,240
Nah. It's just my allergies.
489
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:17,860
Okay.
490
00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,519
Because you know what happens in here
491
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,100
stays in here, forever.
492
00:20:22,110 --> 00:20:23,580
Whew! It's...
493
00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:25,020
It's really flaring up now.
494
00:20:28,570 --> 00:20:30,030
And with that home run,
495
00:20:30,070 --> 00:20:32,900
Sammy Sosa retakes the
lead over Mark McGwire.
496
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:34,470
Slammin' Sammy!
497
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,560
You know he's on steroids, right?
498
00:20:36,740 --> 00:20:38,910
What steroids?
499
00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,720
Hey, I know it's going to be difficult,
500
00:20:43,750 --> 00:20:44,939
but you still need to tell the boys
501
00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:46,060
what happened with the book.
502
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,240
What book?
503
00:20:50,620 --> 00:20:51,620
I know what you're doing,
504
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:53,180
but you can't just deny it happened.
505
00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:55,620
Deny what happened?
506
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:57,879
Uh-oh.
507
00:20:57,880 --> 00:21:02,880
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-- www.addic7ed.com --
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