Original subtitles

- Something seemed weird about that

evening's walk to work,

and not just because it was Hollywood Boulevard.

I could smell the sharp clarity of rain in the air,

even over the smog and the tourist BO.

I thought nothing of it at the time.

Didn't even remember it until, after.

I was on my way to the Fetish Factory.

I worked weekends there, and I liked it.

It was kind of like, Night Shift meets Showgirls,

if you could picture that.

Harlot!

You are evil!

Evil!

Evil! - Man, she was creepy as hell,

but what she said next,

really only meant something to me later on

after I thought about it. - After these things I saw

four angels standing at the four corners of the earth.

- I mean not that I was an A-student

in Sunday School or anything,

but I knew it was from Revelations, Chapter VII.

Four angels.

I guess I was one of them.

- Password.

- Go fuck yourself.

- Aw, she likes me.

- Mmm,.

- Yeah....

- Hey!

- Here we go again!

- Uh-huh, so we'll get paid big bucks.

- Oh that's.

This place you just never know.

Let's take it off!

- Yes,.

- Let's make some money!

, oh there goes the slippers again.

- Oh gosh yes.

Yes, that sounds good.

- I'm just dying to know what to do this.

- Oh! - Oh!

Jayne, you scared the shit out of me!

- Hi, I just had the shit scared out of me!

- Hi! - Okay, it is

storming out there!

- Are you serious, it wasn't even like cloudy

when I came in.

- Well I guess it's a freak storm or something, but,

we're not gonna let that, hi ,

get in the way of the festivities tonight,

because I am feeling, S-E-X-Y.

- Oh, really? - Sexy!

Oh, oh oh, oh what stay there, stay there,

are you ready for your closeup?

- Yes Miss DeMille!

Oh, we have the Flasher tonight don't we?

- Uh-hmm.

Yes.

- Where is the Richard?

- Hmm, he's fashionably late.

Man can't help it.

Richard!

- You look fabulous darling.

- Hi hi hi hi! - Don't!

Beautiful!

Sensual!

Bouncy!

Thank you for touching me ladies!

Okay.

Let me take a guess, tonight you're

the love child of David Bowie, Brian Ferry, with a twist

of Mark!

- Baby you know everything!

- Um, you know they're all

represented in the Velvet Goldmine,

I've seen it like 50 times! - I love that ass!

Hey guys, I hate to

break up this duet, you have going in here,

but you need to make us look pretty, okay?

- Honey that is music to my ears.

Now let me get my claws

into that glorious meat that is your face!

Okay ladies,

listen up!

It may be a bitch of a storm

out there, but it is not gonna soak our parade.

You all have a little dance cards, no cancellations.

We have our dancers coming in for the stage show,

and you're all, second acts right?

- Uh-hmm. - I'll let you all,

tell Suzie here the rules, since she's new,

I won't spank her.

Not yet anyway.

- No tech baby.

That's it, like Irma says, your phone,

anything modern, as soon as you come in,

goes right in the locker.

Anything post-1980s goes in the locker

and you don't even think about it until closing time.

Customers that pay good money for their play days,

and we don't disappoint.

- Thanks pop.

Okay so, I've been here the longest,

Bettie's next, then Rosie,

You're the low man on the totem pole,

but look I'll cut you some slack, not too much.

Remember these guys walk into the Fetish Factory

with their fantasy's set.

They don't want to hear search engine,

text, meme, none of that stuff.

It's all about bump and grind, stripteases,

flash photography.

- The funny papers!

- Suzie, we are very pleased to have you here.

Welcome.

I'm sorry that you're gonna have to hit the ground running.

I know you're a smart cookie.

- Thanks.

So I'm wondering, why is tonight so special?

- It's our showcase, um, it's a pop-up shop.

You know, next special might be someplace else.

We're not doing this, we're making our real money.

We do photos, eight-millimeter movies to order.

The phone thing, all sex, all the time.

- Oh yeah! - We sell fantasies though,

not ourselves, no sex!

- Wah-wah! - Wah-wah!

- Not only are you not expected to get

too friendly with the customers, you are not allowed.

No hanky-panky. - No hanky-panky!

- So Pauly, who's on the docket tonight?

- Oh, tonight we have,

Lipstick, Footman,

the Flasher, and Whipping Boy. - Whoo!

- A nice little crowd for the stage show,

and we have some free-lance peelers coming in,

doing some dancing between your bits,

so, you guys have your acts down pat?

- Yes! - I have been practicing

like a mother fucker!

- Language! - Sorry!

- Naughty, not nasty!

And Suzie, sweety,

it is really important that you make 'em believe

that everything is their idea.

- Mmm.

- Like Henry Ford said,

"If I'd asked the people what they wanted,

"they'd said, 'faster horses.'"

- Who's Henry Ford? - Cliff Robertson!

- Who are these guys, Lipstick and,

the Flasher?

- They're just guys, don't worry,

they wouldn't hurt a fly.

They go by code names.

- You know like the Reservoir Dogs.

- Huh? - Mr. Pink, Mr. Brown,

you know?

- Don't mind Bettie, everything is a movie to her,

she thinks she's gonna be the next Roger Ebert

minus the Pulitzer and the tombstone.

They're just code names, we don't know their real names.

I mean I guess Irma and Paul do but um,

that's what we call them and one of the

major perks about the Fetish Factory, is anonymity.

- I want Lipstick.

Oh, here.

- No, the dude!

He's an easy one,

he likes it when the girls put makeup on him.

He gets off on that. - Oh yes he does!

- The Footman likes to watch,

and he wears these gigantic glasses,

all the better to see us with.

- Like Jerry Lewis in the Nutty Professor!

Oh god, nothing?

Wow, what the... - Footman has a foot fetish.

- Yes. - It's actually a

foot fixation, a fetish is for an inanimate object.

- Thank you so much Dr. Drew.

Anyway, he's got a, he likes to, see the toes.

You got, you got good toes, let me see your tootsies.

- Uh-hmm.

- Oh, hmm, Whipping Boy.

Name is self-explanatory.

Flasher's mine.

He just likes to take pictures all night,

so we take pictures of each other!

- What about the show, I mean, I haven't

had any time to rehearse or anything.

Don't get me wrong I'm glad to be here I really am but um,

I just feel like I'm being thrown

to the wolves a little bit.

- Hmmm... - No don't worry about it,

I got your back, all four of us, all of us!

It's just a, it's just like a,

little bump and grind, striptease, it's very Burlesque.

You get it?

- But there'll be like, real dancers on stage too right?

- Uh-hmm.

- Yeah.

We got you it's gonna be fine.

You're gonna be okay.

- Hey. - Hi.

- Ready? - Yes.

- It's a full house. - Ooh!

- Excellent.

- Ain't saying much in this dive.

Pays the bills right? - Oh amen to that,

God forbid I should have to get a real job!

- Or a real boyfriend! - Oh that's rich

coming from you!

- Hey, my single status

is completely by choice thank you very much!

- Uh, she broke up with her last boyfriend

because he wouldn't go to an all-night horror fest with her!

- Okay this was not just any all-night

horror film festival you guys,

this was Grindhouse and Exploitation,

that is a big difference! - Uh-hmm.

- Welcome fellows, welcome,

to the Fetish Factory's main event.

We have a got a heck of Burlesque,

for you!

- Now, we have the riveting,

red hot Rosie!

As you can see, she likes to skate.

Oh yeah, we like a peeler that's in shape!

Me, I'm not in shape.

Rosie here asked me to enroll in her aerobics class.

I said "No, absolutely not."

I'm not performing.

I jumped, I hopped, I twisted, I turned.

By the time I got the darn

leotards on, class was over!

- Look at those gorgeous legs of hers!

- Young and sexy yeah!

- Hey Barbie doll!

- Hey hey hey! - Hey hey!

- Whoo-who! - Hey baby!

- Dance! - Whoo!

- Come here baby! - Woo-hoo!

- Oh baby, be mine tonight!

- Look at her! - Yeah!

- Oh baby! - Look at that ass!

- Next up, we have some really special acts!

♪ We all want to be ♪

♪ More than friends ♪

♪ We were meant to last till the end ♪

♪ Days we spent with nothing ♪

♪ But content ♪

♪ Then to have a happy ♪

♪ Ever after ♪

♪ Till you met her ♪

♪ So now we'll see if she ♪

♪ Can clear your memory ♪

♪ Of every single little bit ♪

♪ Of me ♪

♪ Yes now we'll see if she ♪

♪ Can clear your memory ♪

♪ Of every single little bit of me ♪

♪ The vows we spoke that broke ♪

♪ Instead of bent ♪

♪ Blow your smoke and ♪

♪ Choke on regret ♪

- Whoo hoo!

Whoo, whoo!

- Our peeler is a real peach!

Bettie's her name, and she is,

gorgeous!

Sexy!

Sweet!

She's, not perfect though.

I mean I don't mean to say that she's

a drunk or anything, but, just last week she

was taken up in front of a judge, and the judge says to her,

"You've been brought here for drinking."

And Bettie says, "Well, okay, let's get started!"

- Uh-huh, whoop!

I don't know what happened there!

Oh, ooh!

Oh...

, shoot!

You're in store for something!

What's in the box?

Hello gentlemen. - Hello.

- I'm Bettie and this is Victor!

- Victoria dummy!

- Victoria, what are you talking about?

You're clearly male!

You know this is the problem with our relationship,

it's the different sex thing.

Most ventriloquist teams are same sex,

and there's actually no sex in them.

- Of course I notice sweetheart!

- See?

You called me sweetheart!

Sex vibe is already in!

- Ya think?

- You know what, it's fate!

A female ventriloquist and a male dummy,

how can we be friends?

- Well a friend on the knee is a friend indeed!

You know what,

your voice is all wrong too.

- What's wrong with my voice?

- Well, see with a same sex team,

the ventriloquist, me, doesn't have to

change her voice to sound like a girl,

but with you Victor, my throat is scratchy all night long!

- Well I don't think your sore throat has anything

to do with me.

Victor!

If you're not careful I'll turn you into kindling!

- I've already got wood if you know that I mean!

- Wow!

Back in the box you go.

- Here's a hot little number for you.

Rochelle, and the Rising.

I wonder what's rising?

♪ Trying we're going to fail now ♪

♪ I was a now ♪

♪ I can't ♪

♪ If everything is leaving ♪

♪ I'm not good ♪

♪ So I might ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

- And now we have the scintillating,

seductive, and stylish Jayne!

As you can see she has beautiful golden locks.

All natural too.

Yeah, she's your classic dumb blond.

I was with Jayne when she went to get,

her driver's license last week.

She took one look at it and started wailing!

I said "Jayne honey, what's the matter?"

She turns to me and she says,

"I got an F is sex!"

- Whew, as you can see, in my bosom here

I've got a deck of cards, right?

Yeah, yeah.

- I don't think our guests can really see them properly.

- Whoo! - Mmm!

- Mmm, and so can I have a volunteer?

- Oh oh me me!

- Sh!

You!

- Aw man! - Him?

- W-W-What would you like me to do?

Uh, well, don't be shy,

first, and then I want you to pick a card.

The card, show it to the audience but don't show it to me.

Put it back in the deck. - Uh-hmm.

- Got it? - Uh-hmm.

- Okay...

What, uh, oh!

Oh my god, I am such a butterfingers!

Look what I did!

Uh, new girl!

New girl!

Suzie!

I need your help, I need you to pick that up, now.

Thank you.

Oh my gosh look at that!

- Whoo!

- She looks like she's smuggling something,

and I don't think it's a cantaloupe.

Look, what have we here?

- Whoa, whoa!

- Here, you might have noticed, we have a new girl?

On stage?

I had to fire somebody!

It wasn't easy, but the girl was dense

as a doorknob and she had an attitude to boot.

I told her that I'd slept with a Brazilian,

and she says, "Eww, you hussy, how many is a Brazilian?"

- It's so slow, I can't believe it!

Really, that's what he gave you for a tip?

- Hey barkeep you know what?

I feel like a, Zombie!

- You got it sir! - Hey!

- Not much of a crowd tonight boss.

- Aw man wives expect their husbands to stay

home on rainy nights like this.

You know, at this rate, who's gonna keep

Irma and I in Dunhill's, please?

- Smoking's a nasty habit!

It's gonna kill 'ya boss.

- No this rain's gonna kill me.

- No worries.

- Oh look I've got all of my girls here on stage!

- Yeah! - Whoo!

- Oh yeah!

She's got the high end and I got the low end!

I'm Rosie's nasty friend!

- Yeah!

- Next!

- And Jayne!

Jayne makes me go insane!

Oh, and cute little Suzie!

I like them Asian and submissive!

Oh!

- Oh! - Ooh!

- Ladies, shall we take a bow?

Mmm...

- Rats, nice.

- Thanks for coming fellas!

Oh, thanks for coming!

Lucky four-leaf clovers, you stay right where you are!

Someone will escort you to your private rooms.

That was awesome!

That would!

- You sexy bitch!

- Hey, where's Suzie?

- Yeah she okay? - It was merely a flesh wound.

- She nodded like she was okay.

- OK, well, if she's late I'll just give

her Whipping Boy. - Perfect!

- He'll just think he's being punished.

- All right, well?

There are men to be satisfied and money to be made.

- Let's bring it on! - Mmm.

- Oh, this color's so beautiful on you!

- Your toes!

So beautiful, so beautiful!

- Oh...

My little warrior,!

- A cute little bow tie you have.

- I, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna see your feet.

I love your feet!

- What about these? - Oh...

Can I-- - I guess you're not much

of a boob man!

- No I, I would like to see your feet.

- So many laces! - I know!

I wish...

- Take your time now! - Mmm...

- That is so,

- Touching. - romantic.

- Touching...

Socks...

- My spice! - Teddy bears!

Look at your toes!

Ooh, I love those toes!

Let me see your toes.

Look at those beautiful ankles.

Lead straight to heaven!

- It sure does! - Let's see those gumdrops,

let's see those gumdrops!

Oh, ooh...

Oh what, beautiful toes!

I'm speechless.

- I'm speechless too!

A few minutes ago when you showed up!

But now, I have to say, it's completely riveting!

- Oh...

Mmm...

Oh...

- Ah you sexy little kitten!

Show me!

I love you!

Okay, stay stay stay.

Take one of me!

Take one of me!

Show me another trick!

I know you like magic!

- I do, I do! - I know you like...

No!

You know what?

Fire!

- I loved the way you handled that little man on stage,

you're so stern, mmm.

- You have yet to see how I handle my wood!

Oh stop it, stop...

Oh, how do I look, how do I look?

- You are the prettiest girl in the land!

Oh hold still Ralphie or I'll shoot your eye out!

- My kids love that movie!

- I bet they do!

- Mmm, oh give me some more. - Oh!

Here you go baby, here you go!

Let me see this face!

You are the most glamorous girl in the world!

Mmm...

Oh...

- Just lay back.

Mmm...

- Where is she?

- So anyone found Suzie yet?

I swear I checked that girl's references up the Yin Yang.

I don't hire flakes, I am never wrong.

- You're never wrong.

- Not in a million years.

- What, why years?

- Oh, baby..

Ooh, baby baby!

Oh baby,...

Ya!

- What do you think you're doing?

- Nothing, nothing, I'm, I'm sorry!

I'm, I'm just waiting for Suzie!

- God!

Damned zombies!

Oh that was fun!

- Yeah it was a long night though!

Oh, oh!

I am so ready to get paid though.

Ooh, oh right! - Oh definitely.

Oh my god, look!

The bitch is dead!

- Oh yep, she's dead.

Uh, looks, looks like she OD'd.

- Should we call 911? - No no no, no no no,

we have to tell Irma and Paul before we do anything!

Okay, okay!

That's good, let's move!

Paul, Irma?

Oh my god! - Oh my god!

- Oh my god, go, go!

Go go!

What the fuck was that?

- I don't know!

- Rosie!

You okay?

I left my phone at home!

- Me too! - Uh, all I have

is my iPod!

- Oh god, okay, okay...

Oh... - What do we do,

what do we do?

- Uh-huh. - Call, call.

- Okay!

- Call, come on, call call!

- Okay!

- Come on, oh...

- All right, okay, okay.

All right, , okay,...

All right... - My phone.

- Okay, nevermind!

There's no fucking signal!

It's saying that all the circuits are out of order!

Okay, let me try to get online, fuck it!

I'm trying to get online!

Woo, okay!

Okay right there, wait uh, a freak storm!

- Oh fuck, really? - In-in-in LA,

in LA, it causes an epidemic,

oh my god, ,

the news, the news,

oh, it's not loading, it's not fucking loading dude!

Okay fu-shit!

Shit!

Okay,! - As Bluto from Animal House

would say my advice to you is to start drinking heavily!

- Rosie's used this?

There you go.

Call 911 again!

- Okay, all right.

Okay,...

Oh,!

Uh,...

- It's!

- Uh, okay now, well, uh, let me try.

It's not fucking going, but it just rang, it's not working!

Oh what's that, did you see that picture!

I mean it looked, like her boyfriend

or husband or something, I don't know, I barely know her!

- I know, I know we barely know her!

Um, okay, okay, oh my god we gotta do something!

- Are you crazy?

I'm not going out there!

Did you see our friend lying on the floor?

- you, just stay here by yourself, alone!

- At least let's arm ourselves with something!

- Oh, okay!

Let's go, wait!

- Shit, shit, fuck shit, oh!

- Tristan's gone! - Jayne!

Oh my god I'm sorry!

What happened, who was out there?

- I don't know, he accidentally flashed!

They don't like the light.

Oh god! - Let's get out of here!

- Okay. - Come on!

- We can't hide in here all night!

I say we go out there and kick some ass!

- Agreed!

- Really?

Sorry!

- Okay how do we do this?

I mean they could be anywhere,

maybe we should try and make a break for it again.

- Yeah you can see how well that worked!

- What about the girls?

- They've gotta be dead, forget 'em!

We've got to look out for ourselves!

- My wife is gonna kill me!

- Come on, let's go!

- Okay, but I'm only kicking ass if I really have to!

If I see an open door, and freedom, I'm out of here!

- I have an idea! - What?

- I'm faster on these things than any

of you guys are on your feet.

I'm gonna take a flying run for it, well, skate.

I'm gonna bust through the gate,

I'm gonna go a million miles an hour,

and I'll get us help.

- Makes sense I guess but um,

as soon as it's clear come back for us okay,

and we'll all go, okay?

- No!

Oh...

Oh my god we have to go

help her! - No no no!

No no no! - Why?

- We're too late for her!

- Come on! - No, here!

Oh god!

- What were those things?

I mean, zombies are just in movies, okay?

Um, maybe it's a virus like 28 Days Later?

- I don't know, um,

all I know from what I saw on the phone before it broke was,

something about acid rain, like uh, like a,

like a nuclear plant get struck by lightning.

Are there nukes in LA?

- , I don't...

I don't-- - No, of course not.

- I am not worried about the hows, or the whys,

I'm worried about the whats!

I mean if we can figure out what these things

are we might even have a chance of surviving!

- Okay, yeah okay let's think.

The only thing we know is that uh,

their eyes are all weirded out.

And they don't like light.

Can they even see?

- I don't know, I mean they seem to,

- Yeah. - but it's so freaky!

- Yeah, yeah. - I mean at first it

was like they were targeting eyes.

Suzie, and Irma.

And then they just ripped into Rosie.

- Are they only attacking women?

Did you see any female...

Let's just call them zombies,

did you see any female zombies?

- No.

- Oh my god, you're Suzie's boyfriend!

- Who's Suzie? - The new girl.

- Oh that's here stage name, I'm her brother actually.

Yeah I came here to pick her up after work and then I...

Wait, where is she?

What is going on here?

- What is going on out there?

- Well first of all hi, I'm Jake.

- Hi, hi.

- Hi.

Uh, I'm Bettie.

- Jayne.

So let's, yeah, what's going on outside?

- Uh, you know I wish I had a decent answer for you,

I don't think anybody knows.

I woke up at two a.m. to go pick up my sister from work,

and I went outside, and the streets are just

jammed with people walking, which is really

weird for this area, you know?

There's not a lot of people driving,

there's just me, and a few other people.

I knew something was up but I didn't think much of it,

you know, I mean it's like Hollywood, you know?

- Oh, I know.

- Yeah, so, anyway I'm trying to listen to my radio

and not a lot's coming in, just a bunch of static,

and-and it's pouring down rain,

but not steadily, like in sudden bursts.

And the rain's like a really weird color too.

Then I looked out my window and I thought I saw

this guy being attacked, so I got really worried.

Then I call my sister on my phone except my phone is dead

even though I just charged it.

- So, when did you get here?

- Like a half an hour ago.

At first I couldn't get in then this guy

came out and started threatening me,

and then he left, so I followed him over to the

front door and it was just wide open,

which I thought was really weird,

so I took a couple steps back,

went back around the corner and then I,

I saw these guys,

or these, these things,

breaking a window and trying to climb in!

So I ran back over to the front door,

I mean Julie's in there and I gotta help her.

And I go in, really careful,

and I see these guys eating somebody.

It was freaky.

It was just like Fulci's classic, Zombi 2.

I didn't really feel like I had much of a choice here

except to just ride it out, and try and find my sister.

Which is what I was gonna do, until you guys came in.

- Yeah.

- Now it's your turn.

What's going on in here?

- I mean, you probably know as much as we do,

I mean you heard us talking when we walked in.

- Yeah.

- I'm really sorry about Julie.

- Yeah. - I mean, ,

we only met her tonight, she seemed really cool.

- If it's any comfort they didn't eat her.

They just, uh, , thing, it just was quick, I think.

- Fucking freak.

Yeah...

- Run!

- Run, run!

- No!

Damn it!

- I, I have one!

- Who's! - Good job, good job,

good job! - Right, there.

- Okay.

- Sh... - Sh!

- Whoa!

See!

He doesn't like the light!

No wonder they screwed with the wiring!

It wasn't to keep us in the dark

it was to keep them in the dark!

Ya!

- Get out of the way!

- No, no no!

- Did they get Jayne?

No , no!

- We gotta keep moving!

- Okay, the theater is just around the corner,

we could, we can hide there.

- Okay. - Okay.

He was at the show tonight!

- Are they all zombies?

- I guess so.

- Seems to be connected to the storm.

- I mean it's like the opposite of The Devil's Rain!

I'm sorry, The Devil's Rain is a movie.

- A B horror starring William Shatner

and Ernest Borgnine, Tom Skerritt,

Ida Lupino and Keenan Wynn.

- And a young John Travolta.

- But in that movie the zombies melted in the rain,

this one it seems like the,

seems like the rain has a virus, or something.

Maybe this is like another Fukushima!

Totally!

- Or like a volcano, you know, I mean god knows

what's been stewing around underground for all these years.

- All right we gotta figure this out.

All right we, , we know they

don't like the light, that's obvious.

But it doesn't kill 'em, so they're not vampires.

- God this is the most ridiculous conversation ever!

- No shit!

But we have to figure this out!

- Well if it's any consolation it seems like

this thing's only effecting males.

- Great.

So they're just gonna go after me?

So eyes or no eyes, you get to live?

- That sounds peachy!

Hey do you know anything

about wiring?

Maybe you could get the main lights back on?

- Wow, you know that's pretty sexist,

just 'cause I'm a guy I'm supposed to be really handy.

- It's just... - We should find the

circuit breaker, do you know where it is?

- No.

I mean it's our first time in this location.

But, even if it wasn't I don't think

I'd know where it was.

- Okay.

No no no it's no problem, uh,

we just need to do some reverse engineering,

you know, we need to look outside,

we need to find the power lines,

- Okay. - Trace where it comes into

the house, because logically the circuit breaker would be

where the power line comes in,

because that's easier and more convenient

for the city's electricians.

- I mean, that kind of makes sense.

Don't say anything.

- It's now or never!

- Give me this!

All right.

- Wait, a gunshot to the head's the only way

to kill a zombie!

- Chuck Norris, A Force of One, 1979!

Thanks for your help.

- You don't need my help, you're all kinds of awesome.

- Thanks.

All right we gotta get out of here!

- Okay!

- So, here it is, I mean, do you know what to do?

- In the movies there was always some big lever, so...

- Yeah. - I don't see a lever.

- Me either, but I mean, there's all these buttons,

maybe we could just push a bunch of 'em,

and something's gonna happen I mean

it can't get any worse right?

- Yeah, maybe we'll just get electrocuted.

- Right.

- Wait wait wait wait wait, look!

The sunrise!

- Let's get out of here! - Yeah!

- Oh, The Richard!

His hair looks fabulous though.

- It looks great.

Oh god!

- What happened?

- You don't remember?

- No.

Hey, did you gals drug me?

No.

Sorry. - No that's okay,

I mean, it's probably better you don't remember anyway.

- He's gonna find out eventually!

Find out what?

- Look!

There was an attack here last night!

Something happened, people are dead!

- Come on you guys, we gotta get out of here!

- Help me!

- Is that Jayne?

Did you hear that?

- Maybe Julie's not dead!

- Wait wait wait Jake no!

She is!

I fucking saw her!

- Well you also killed a zombie right here

and he's fine now!

- Huh?

- Okay I guess things have changed.

- Bettie, it's me Jayne!

- Jayne, come on!

Jayne, Jayne we're coming!

Jayne!

- What happened?

Jayne said I killed Irma, I wouldn't do that!

- My god they really don't remember!

- But the lights are on, does that mean the phone works now?

- Oh god please yes, it has too!

Please!

- Irma!

Irma!

- Oh my god again!

Go!

- Guys, a little help here!

- The Flasher and Whipping Boy went off

on their own, separately.

They wanted to go home, see if they

even still had homes.

Who knows what they were thinking.

Somehow we got out of there.

The girls were weak, just waking up.

Or maybe they let us go.

Maybe there was some vestige of humanity left in them.

Jake and me, we stayed together, always moving.

It didn't take us long to figure out it

was some kind of a Ladyhawke thing going on.

You ever see that movie?

It's a tragic love story.

There's a curse, and the man and the woman

change into different creatures against their will.

She's a hawk by day, he's a wolf by night.

And so it seems those

who are infected by the rain virus

take shifts, just like that.

Zombies and mortals.

Male and female.

Light and dark.

So far, Jake and me have managed to stay untouched, alive,

and in love.

So far.

All right so I

forgot my lines sorry!

- Take two. - Yar...

Hope you got that on film

because I was really strangling!

- I don't think that's going to defend us at all, Flasher.

- One more time!

- Okay... - I am ready to get paid

and go home! - Whoo!

- Dickhead. - Well pussy I'm sorry.

- And...

- Whoo, ya-ha!

- Fuck it. - Yeah, you're welcome.

- And I'm taking this dresser.

- God dammit!

- Pick, a close shot of those, babies.

- That's good. - Oh my god,

oh my god, oh my god!

- Hi world, how are 'ya? - Hi!