Original subtitles

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She keeps me hanging on the line, waiting on the side...

...every single night, same, hanging by the phone...

...waiting all alone. Everybody knows her name.

I love you, I love you, I love you!

Jenny, slow down. You're going to have an aneurism.

What's a girl to do?

In a perfect world...

I'd be perfect, too.

Oh my, God. You're the coolest friend ever.

This is the birthday of my life!

Yeah, well, anything for a friend.

- Hi, guys... - Euw, make it go away.

I figured you too would be in these cheap seats.

These seats are amazing.

Yeah, well, I'm down where Jason can sweat all over me. Peace, ladies.

Every single night...

...same.

She's a perfect girl.

Jason!

Is it just me? Or is it hot in here?

Don't do it. Don't you do it!

He did it.

Oh my God. This is my favorite song!

I love you!

You say, you learned to sleep alone. And I say I miss the way you breathe.

- You say... - I'm going!

Jenny!

A little to the left.

- Jason! - Hey, watch the hands, dude.

Faster!

Pulling you back in. Do you see? Something...

You want to see again? I can be the one.

I can make it up to you.

Take me back. I'm the lonely boy who...

- Ioves you... - Don't even think about it.

Come on now.

Come on, do you feel something...

...pulling you back in? Do you see something...

You want to see again?

I can be the one.

I can make it up to you. Take me back.

I'm a lonely boy who needs you.

Jason, I love you.

Thank you, Boston.

Good morning, Beantown.

Jason masters kicked off his world tour...

...with a sell-out crowd last night.

One lucky fan made it onstage last night and got her own personal...

...souvenir-the shirt off his back.

Mom, you won't believe this.

I was picked up by the crowd

and I was passed hand over hand to Jason...

...and just as I was about to reach him, who do I get knocked down by?

Alexis?

Story of my life.

Mom? Do you realize that I wasted all of high school...

...just waiting for someone to sweep me off my feet?

And now time's run out.

And all I've got to show for it is a boring diploma.

Sometimes love just sneaks up on you.

Four years in high school with no boyfriend. That's sad.

What about Ryan?

He's my best friend.

That'd be like kissing my little brother.

I need a man.

Someone tough and rugged and smoldering.

Just be careful what you wish for, honey.

You might just get it.

You and Ryan are going to have an amazing time.

Working all summer...

...in a Caribbean resort.

The temperature in Indonesia is 95.

Why don't you take mom on a real vacation?

Like maybe a country with indoor plumbing.

We get to be in nature's belly. No cars, no phone, no world wide web.

- Just the two of us. - Yeah...

And nude beaches.

I'll never get that image out of my head.

Don't even try, sweetheart.

Oh! Oh! I've cut myself. Oh, that's bad.

Here, dad.

Oh, I'm feeling week.

I might pass out. If I don't make it, remember...

...that I love you both.

I want you to donate my organs to the people who...

Oh! That's much better.

That's good, because I couldn't decide for a minute...

...who I wanted to donate my organs to. I probably should keep them.

Well, you're gonna make one hell of a doctor.

You haven't seen the bill yet.

I'm gonna miss you, baby.

Have we got the coolest daughter or what?

Word, darling.

You guys are weird.

- Hello. - Ryan.

Hey!

- Are you ready? - I was born ready.

Oh, you're going to miss my home cooking at St. Lucha this summer.

Sir, I, uh...

I hope that you're going to be okay with the situation...

- in St. Lucia this summer. - Situation?

Yeah, living situation with Jenny and me.

Oh, you mean the two of you being roomies.

Ryan, you're the last guy in the world I'm worried about.

The last guy.

I'm more worried about that rat-faced kid, Lenny.

The guy with the lazy eye and the boils on his chin.

But I'll be serious with you. I am down with it. It is tight, man.

Totally cool.

You have a kick-ass time.

Now give me five. And up high.

Motown bounce, slip and slide, back side and keep on trucking my man.

Welcome to Sun Village Beach Resort.

Thank you.

- Oh, hey. - Not bad.

Pretty rad, huh?

This is so cool.

Oh my God, I'm sorry.

- What are you doing here? - What are you doing here?

I didn't know the hotel took food stamps.

Huh?

We're here on the school's summer job program.

You found out that this was Jason's favorite resort, didn't you?

Who doesn't know?

Well, if he shows up, stay out of my way.

He's mine.

Up your meds, Alexis.

Whatever, just stay out of my way.

Have you been pumping up, Ryan?

I like it.

Thanks.

I mean, I bought a Bowflex.

What?

This will be your home for the next three months.

This is the finest resort in the Caribbean.

Now, I expect you...

...to protect the reputation of the Sun Village Beach resort...

...at Beach with your lives if necessary.

Did I make a joke?

You laugh. I didn't make a joke.

No, I just remembered a joke.

That I told him on the plane.

Two priests and a rabbi in a boat...

There'll be no drinking and no drugs.

There'll be no canoodling with guests and no hanky-panky.

This is the wall of together.

- We're not together. - Yeah, there will be no hanky-panky.

I want no trouble.

Comprende?

Comprende.

Your assignments are on the board. You will be a lifeguard.

And you will work as a floater.

A floater?

You will float from one task to the next.

You will fill in where needed.

These are your employee handbooks.

I expect you to study it, know it, live it.

Comprende

Yes, Mr. Hernandez.

I mean, comprende.

- Here's your Mama-Wanna, Ma'am. - Thanks.

Here you go, Ryan.

Hey, I'm digging this older woman thing.

See some guys wouldn't even roll like that.

My deal is if she's sliding a Rolex my way...

I'll be the bitch. I'll be the biggest bitch you got, cause I don't care man.

Oh-la, oh-la, man, check the chunky on that monkey.

Hey, that hit about twenty to three.

Watch and learn, Holmes. Watch and learn.

Hey, hey, girl you fine.

I'll bet under that you ain't wearing nothing but a G-string.

Nothing.

I ain't mad at you.

That's all right, cause you're still fine, still fine.

Smooth, Chase.

Hey, man, you can't fault a fellow for trying.

- That's all, I'm saying. - Help!

Help!

Help!

I'll go call in the code.

Yea. Do that.

Hey, baby, did I rock your world?

Never mind.

- Mommy! - Yeah, you better run.

Jenny a reminder. Hotel policy strictly prohibits the killing of guests.

Well, I didn't get the memo. The little deviant copped a feel.

- Above or below the equator? - Above. And I got tongued too.

My mouth tastes like Captain Crunch.

You don't have much impulse control do you?

What's that?

Thought so. So. What are you doing tonight?

Gargling Clorox.

- I touched her boobie. - Then killing myself.

Okay, but before that?

I don't know. Why? You want to hang out?

Um... well... yeah, I mean, if... if you want to.

Ryan, please assert yourself.

Okay, well, if you want to, and only if you want to.

We could do something, but only if you want to...

...because I want what you want.

- All right, well, that's a start. - Yo, yo, yo!

Cannonball!

Hey, hey, could I get some help over here?

Coming! Let me see. Okay.

You'll live. Unfortunately.

And that's what you get for touching boobies.

Dog. You been holding out on me. Who was that?

Jenny Taylor. She's too young for you.

Wait, wait, wait!

- It's not fair. - What?

Look at them.

Closest thing I ever had to a date was a fat kid with breasts.

Guys ask you out.

Yeah, but I'm a woman, Ryan.

You want the right guy to ask you out.

I'm okay, right? Nothing's wrong with me?

You're perfect.

Thanks. You're the only one who seems to think so.

- Jenny? - Yeah?

What? Is there something on my face?

No, no, it's just, uh...

Weird.

Yeah, I could get used to this.

Water looks so great.

- You wanna race? - Let's do it!

- Oh, come on, is that all you got? - Hey!

Hey, check out that swim suit.

Who's the grossest person we know?

- Oh, no contest. Chester Arbiter. - Euw, I remember Chester Arbiter.

In the third grade...

...he used to stick his finger up his nose and wiggle his eyes.

Yeah.

- Yeah, well, we've got a winner. - You had a crush on him.

With the eye-wiggler? Uh, huh, you bet.

I have to go.

Where?

Shopping.

Want me to come? I thought maybe I'd...

For bras.

We're not doing that kind of press anymore.

Get to cover it. That hillbilly will do anything.

Excuse me.

Welcome back to the Sun Village Beach Resort, Mr. Masters.

You look amazing. As always.

You are our favorite guest. I believe this is your fifteenth visit.

Yeah, yeah, we've heard it all before.

We hope your stay will be...

...a restful one and all that crap. Save it for someone who cares, love.

Presidential Suite.

Hello, Jenny.

Hello.

The great thing about being chief lifeguard is I can see the future.

Really, what's in mine?

You're taking my shift tomorrow morning.

What? When do you work?

- When I want to. - Alexis.

That's immediate supervisor Alexis.

How's the new boss?

Cruella. What's the penalty for second degree murder?

Well, now that you've told me, it's first degree.

Oh right. So what's up?

Promise you won't make a scene.

Please.

As we speak, Jason Masters is checking in.

Jason's here? He's here?!

Yeah, he's here on a lay over.

My God! He's here! Right now! Jason Masters is here!

Don't tell Alexis.

We R&R here and I'll get you your teeth whitened after lunch, okay love?

- I need him for five minutes. - No!

Okay, don't trust me. All right I am...

All right, I am cranking, I am cranking...

People magazine. U.S. National.

What?

- Todd! - What, no, I said rescue.

Because Jason is leaving, that's why.

- Are you okay? - I'm fine. Oh my God.

- Are you sure? - Never better.

- What's your name? - Jenny.

My first crush was named Jenny.

I'll show you to your villa.

Be careful, beautiful.

He's a god.

Short god.

I have personally made sure that everything is the way you like it.

You mean without you here.

Oh, God.

Yo, Jason, which one of us is hotter?

You're a sunset; you're a rainbow. How can I choose between that?

Don't push me. Don't push me!

Deason sent this over. Isn't it fierce?

It's like, c'mere, but go away.

I'm a big strong man. Hold me. Sexy, but not yet.

Belinda, just call for the Lear jet for six hours.

Do that later.

Hey, she's not a Don't hurt her, okay?

Thank you.

- Cheers - Hello?

Bonjour

Beats me.

I think Jason and I had a connection.

- Not this again. - I don't believe in coincidences.

Almost meeting him in the concert at Boston...

...and then meeting him in the lobby. What are the odds?

A rock star staying at a resort. It is shocking, I tell you.

Stop it. I think if he met me, I might have a chance.

And when you have an opportunity, you take it.

- You're acting like a little kid. - Are you calling me immature?

Shoe. Foot. Fits. Yeah. I am.

Look! I don't want to be 90 and dead thinking that I might have had a shot.

Do you even think when you're dead?

I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering "what if?"

- Well, you better move fast. - What?

He's leaving tomorrow.

I told you. He's only here on a lay over.

He's got a concert in D.C.

That only leaves tonight.

Tonight, he's going on the Sunset Pirate Cruise.

So, forget it.

Pirate cruise.

All right, Jason, what lucky girl or girls tonight?

Find out if she has anything contagious.

Hello, darling, tell me. Have you spent any time in Haiti?

Never been there.

Two words for you.

Myocardial infarction. Stop eating.

We're headed for a tropical depression.

- Plot a new heading. - Yes, sir.

Jason.

Deviled egg?

Are you okay?

I see you had the Caribbean stew for dinner.

How's that?

Perfect.

Man overboard! Man overboard!

Help!

Grab the raft! Quick!

Help! Help! Help!

Come here!

Help!

- What happened? - You fell overboard.

It's bad.

I don't see him. Where is he?

I don't see him, either.

He might not be too far. He might be right down here.

- Mr. Masters is not on board. - What?

We're missing a life raft too.

Don't muck about. Go and find him.

In this weather, with 150 mile an hour wind.

No, we call the Coast Guard.

But...

I'm toast.

Jason.

- Why'd you hit me? - I heard an irregular heartbeat.

Who are you?

Jenny Taylor. We met in the lobby.

I fell, you said careful beautiful.

Right. I don't see the boat. Do you see the boat?

I've been meaning to ask you. The song, Love is a Vail.

Is that about Avril?

What? No, no.

Have you seen a plane? Anything?

I made a bet with my friend Wendy. She swore that song was about Avril.

And I'm hearing from the horse's mouth, it isn't.

That's worth a free dinner at Claim Jumper.

Can we save the Teen People interview for later?

It's so cool that we're hanging out right now.

We're in a raft in the middle of the ocean.

Do you see the problem?

- It's amazing. - Guess not.

Even after puking, falling overboard, spending the night in a raft

...and almost dying in a storm, you still look really good.

- Oh my God! - What?

There's a shark out there!

Where'd he go? Where'd he go?

He's under the boat!

Not good! Not good!

Yeah.

I knew it was a dolphin.

Jenny, can you turn that off?

Jenny, please.

Please, just shut it off.

Look!

Paddle!

Is it true that you're dating Hillary Duff?

What?

No.

Good. I don't think she's right for you.

Would you pick up the paddle?

- Okay. - Scrub.

- Ah! My ankle! - Are you okay?

Okay, hold on. Wait!

Wait!

- Great. - Let me see.

That's okay. Let me see. I know what to do.

Judging from the girlish pitch in your scream,

you may have broken it.

Yet. You remain all man to me.

- How am I gonna get off the beach? - Okay, look.

I'll go get some help, and you just wait here.

Of course, that's silly because you can't go anywhere.

You just sit tight. Write a song.

Hello!

Oh my God.

So is help coming?

Uh... No. No, I don't think so.

Why not?

Well, customarily, when you get help...

...it requires, well, finding another person.

And why didn't you find anyone?

Two options.

Option number one. Everyone else on the planet...

...has been killed by an alien death ray, which isn't likely.

And option two?

The storm must have sent us hundreds of miles away.

We're marooned.

What like the color?

- Have you seen Jenny? - No, man, why?

- She didn't come home last night. - Girl going wild?

You weren't with her?

No.

But I did see her sneaking on to the pirate cruise in a waitress uniform.

The music world is awaiting word on the whereabouts of pop...

...icon Jason Masters.

The triple platinum recording artist was lost...

...at sea last night.

There are reports that a woman was lost with him.

Did you actually see Jason fall overboard?

No, I believe that happened below decks actually.

Sir, can you give us an update on the search for Jason Masters?

Well, the tides are a powerful force. We're covering a 500 mile area.

- With every asset available to us. - Could they have survived?

If they used a life raft, it increases their chances.

Can you confirm that the missing woman is Jenny Taylor?

The manifest says that Jenny Taylor is unaccounted for.

We're operating under the assumption that it is...

Oh, my God!

My Jason lost at sea. This can't be happening.

Jenny.

- I say we get back in the raft. - And how do we navigate? No

We're gonna send up a flare and get some help.

- Okay, let me do that. - No, I got it.

No, no, no.

Seriously, Jason, think of your foot. I got it.

Smooth.

A factory defect?

Well, I am writing a nasty letter to the manufacturer.

Can you confirm that the mystery woman is missing...

That's ridiculous. No more comments.

Is this a cover-up for a secret marriage?

You're blaming me for losing him? Why is it my fault?

Yes, I'm the Road Manager...

...but where does it say I'm responsible for his well-being?

It's in my contract? Where does it say that?

- Hello? - You can't sack me!

Can you please hold?

Look, please. Hello? Hello? Hello?

Bollocks!

I've got your wife on line 1 and your girlfriend on line 2.

- Did they both just hear that? - Whoops. My bad.

Hello, darling. I love you, too. How's the dog?

That's negative. I'm heading west to check that area.

You've reached the Taylors. Jenny's in the Caribbean.

Ben and Bree are in the jungles of Indonesia, possibly naked.

Leave a message.

Okay. We've got a Jason Masters key chain.

A paper clip, a room key to the Beverly Wilshire.

A thousand pesos, a first-aid kit from the raft, matches and a...

- That's it? - Oh, and three sugar-free Certs.

- We're doomed. - No, we're not.

We're gonna live off the land, like the castaways we are.

How?

Maybe it's a bad one.

What's for lunch?

- Jason's lost at sea. - You don't even know Jason.

- I've known Jenny forever. - Who said anything about her?

Do you have a little thing for Taylor?

- No, it's just that... - You do.

Is she as I thought. You can tell me. No tongue, right?

I wouldn't know.

Are you a virgin?

That's a turn-on.

I can't take it. We're going to starve to death.

Just hold on. You're Jason Masters for God's sake.

The whole world will be looking for you.

We'll be found in no time.

How'd you get so handy with the medical tape?

I'm going to be pre-med in the fall.

Oh, I knew you were a smart girl.

Don't tell anyone.

Apparently, guys don't like girls with brains.

I have met some of the most beautiful women in the world.

But if they're brain dead, I move on.

I mean, what's the point of having beauty if you don't have brains, huh?

No, my girl's gotta be smart.

Are you all right? You look a little flushed.

Oh, yeah. No, I'm fine. Okay.

I'm gonna go. I'll be back.

Well, what can I do?

Just rest that ankle.

And... Do your hair like this.

Perfect.

Anything?

Nothing, sir.

Beating sun. No food, no water. No chance.

Scrambled. Fried. Poached.

Jenny?

Jenny!

How do I get back to that beach?

I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.

Jason!

Jason, we're saved!

Ah, you came back!

You were gone so long, I thought something happened to you.

I couldn't imagine going through this without you.

I need you.

You need me?

Of course.

Don't worry, we'll get through this together.

How's your ankle?

Oh, this Advil's a life saver. Can't feel a thing.

How'd you do that?

Oh, what? The fire? It's a little thing called physics.

You create kinetic energy between two surfaces.

And voila! Fire!

Where'd you learn that?

Girl Scouts. Oysters?

Sweet.

Where'd you get these?

The ocean of course.

I'm starving.

Well, not with Jenny Taylor on the case.

Oh, I hope you like mangoes.

You're a lifesaver.

How can they expect me to work with Jenny missing?

You still have a job to do. Go for it.

In the water.

Banana.

You rock.

I was just thinking that your life is such a whirlwind...

...concerts, shooting on location.

How can you stand being alone with just me?

It's not so bad.

It's actually the first time in two years that I've been able to think.

What do you think about?

Stuff.

Things.

Other stuff. You know.

The whole deal.

So, uh, your girlfriend must be going nuts right now.

She's not, cause I'm in between.

You've gotta be kidding me.

No, it's like you said, you know, you get so busy.

- What about you, though? - What about me?

Your boyfriend. He must be going out of his mind.

Oh, I'm not with anyone. I'm as free as a bird.

Come on. I can't believe you haven't hooked up with some one.

I mean, A guy would be nuts to give up a girl like you.

Well, if you're trying to make me blush then...

...you've succeeded.

You are an amazing girl.

And it sucks being marooned, but if I had to be marooned...

I'm glad it's with you.

Pretend that you didn't hear that.

You got it.

Good night.

Good night.

Tonight on INN news. Are we spending too much money...

...rescuing fat car stars. You'll decide. Let's take it again.

Still no word from Jason Masters or his female companion, Jenny Taylor.

Was it love gone bad on the high seas that jilted lover...

...sending him into the briny deep. Only time will tell.

Yes, Jason was wearing Giordina slacks and sandals by Villa Lobos.

Thirsty?

Yeah.

You look...

Are you wearing lipstick?

Oh, I found some berries that had a great color. You like?

Your hair.

Genetic.

You are the prettiest girl on the island.

Well, I'm the only girl on the island.

You're so optimistic. I love that about you.

Well, that's what makes me me.

You saved my life, Jenny. I won't forget that.

Oh, you would've done the same for me.

- What was that? - What was what?

That.

A tropical bird. A, uh, twin-breasted farthing.

Are you okay?

Yes! I just remembered that I left my gas on at the apartment.

It's gonna cost me a fortune. Kiwi?

Thanks.

24,000 dollars.

Anaconda Records has declined to pick up this tab...

...because Mr. Masters isn't residing here.

And you and your party...

...have continued to get the massage,

the room service, the beer, the scuba lessons.

I can't pay this.

Really?

Listen. We're in a state of grieving.

Save it for someone who cares.

Damn, Milo, can you at least light a match?

This is inhumane. You've got to get us back the villa.

My going to take the bed.

- I don't think so. - Stop me!

Milo!

Milo, are you there?

You lost Jason Masters.

I didn't lose him. He bloody vanished.

Find him.

That's mine!

Jason Masters is still lost at sea.

He was about to come out with a line of cologne called Masters Smell...

...which was to feature his own DNA. Alas his DNA may be seen no more.

Is this enough?

- No. - Can I have some credit please?

Credit, no.

No.

I've missed you.

Jenny! Oh my God!

- Ryan. - You're alive! I thought you were gone!

- Ryan! - Are you okay?

- Ryan! - What?

You're hugging me. I'm naked.

Oh. Sorry.

Okay. You're looking at me and I'm naked which isn't as bad...

...as your hugging me naked but still it's really bad.

Towel! Towel! Towel!

I know. What's new?

Brighton has me feeding sea lions over at Ocean World.

Where have you been?

I mean do you have any idea what I've been going through?

Oh, you missed me? That's sweet.

Jenny, what happened?

Kind of complicated.

Complicated? What does that mean?

It's easier if I show you.

Are you out of your mind?

- It just happened. - Isn't this kidnapping or something?

No. It's only kidnapping when you know that you've been kidnapped.

You do know how nuts you sound?

Ryan, I think he's actually falling for me.

Yeah, well, there's not a lot of competition.

No, he likes that I'm smart,

and if this didn't happen, we wouldn't...

...have been able to get to know each other.

It's cosmic.

Let me know when you get back from Jupiter.

- Ryan, I need your help. - No, you need to get a grip.

This is exactly what I've been talking about-impulse control.

You don't understand how wonderful he is.

What's so incredible about him?

Look, I spent all of high school sequestered in the library...

...just wishing that somebody would want me.

And suddenly, Jason Masters likes me.

Boring, Jenny Taylor from the suburbs of Massachusetts.

There's nothing wrong with being that girl from Massachusetts, Jenny.

- Nothing at all. - Look, just help me, please.

Why can't you break into a rock star's hotel room like normal people?

This isn't about chasing a rock star.

I wouldn't care if he was a cab driver.

- Do you know why? - Why?

Because most people never find their soul mate and whether he's...

...famous or not, I think that we may have something really special.

- All right. - Thank you.

Shopping?

Yeah, I just needed to pick up a few things.

For you?

- Sensitive skin. - What are you up to?

Nothing. Just shopping.

Oh my...

Let go of me! What is Jason Masters doing here?

- He's, well, shipwrecked. - Shipwrecked?

Well, he thinks he's shipwrecked.

Wait a minute. He thinks he's stranded.

Three miles from a luxury resort. She didn't tell him?

It sounds a lot worse when you say it.

Look! You can't tell anyone, ok?

Moi? Spill the beans? Not a chance.

Okay, we ran out of Advil but this banana will take that ache away.

Who knew that bananas were painkillers?

The jungle is filled with medicinal wonders.

You rock me, baby. You rock me around the world twice.

Purgatory Love from your Respect the Dead CD.

Yeah. Big hit for me. Triple Platinum.

Oh...

Help!

- Oh my God. - Help!

Help me!

Thank God I made it.

I must have been out there for days.

Oh! You need help? Are you okay?

Who are you?

My name is Alexis Merriti.

I was here for the Hawaiian Tropics Swimsuit competition.

I was the winner, of course.

Some of the girls and I chartered a boat to celebrate.

...and it was this horrible storm. I was the only one who survived.

We were in the same storm.

What island is this?

I hate to tell you this, but we don't know.

This island's deserted.

Are you okay?

It's just the hunger...

Well, let me get you something.

One moment!

What are you doing?

Come on.

Do you actually think that you're in his league?

Not a chance. Right idea. Wrong girl.

I'm taking him away.

Well, you're too late. He's already fallen for moi.

Look out, Taylor.

I teach this stuff at the learning annex.

Mademoiselle.

Merci. You are a prince.

- More? - Oui.

Oui? Jenny.

Aren't you some sort of singer?

I guess you could say that.

I love music.

I can tell.

I'm putting you to the spa, and here's your next assignment.

But I've never given a professional massage before.

It's easy. Just rub. Mrs. Venable is back there.

Hey, good looking, what's cooking?

Pardon me, for one second.

Wait you back.

Excuse me, that lady in there has Elephantitus.

No. She's from the Midwest.

Oh, you are a sick, evil little man.

Si. And you're a float.

Go float!

Actually, I'm from the Big Apple. I like it deep.

Yes, Ma'am.

We'll work all those kinks out.

Have you got a girlfriend?

Working on it.

You shouldn't have to work too hard with hands like that.

I... oh, oh, under my left shoulder blade.

Very nice.

What's the matter?

My watch.

Feels like a Rolex.

- Do you mind if I just... - Go. Go ahead.

You are good. You are very, very good.

May I give you a massage?

Oh, okay, that's...

Listen, Hernandez.

I know I was out of line when we first met.

I'm an arrogant, pushy bastard and I'm very sorry.

That's so sweet, and I accept your apology a hundred times over.

Now pack up! You're moving again.

Yeah!

Yeah!

I never got out of the hotel when I played France.

What's it like?

Yeah. What is France like?

Oh. It's very beautiful. I did a lot of modeling there.

- To France! - To France!

You know, Jenny, you could do some modeling, too.

Parasites are probably eating her gums away.

- Gross. - Poor dear.

Do you know the history of the French kiss?

No, but history fascinates me.

Rosie, quit that crying.

It's not Rosie, it's Gil.

He misses his cat.

Papaya must not agree with you.

My music is commonly interpreted as existential but it's

more of a steady reflection on the human deterioration...

Excuse me, we're having a personal conversation.

Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt.

Anyway, you were saying?

I was discovered at a mall in front of a Cinna-Bun.

And this record promoter was there with his... kid.

You got the...

- Did you see that? - I know.

Not a very clean girl.

- No? - Absolutely no.

Who knows what else has set up camp in her hair.

Lice? Cock-a-roaches? Small moles?

That girls needs a day for the Orkin man.

Don't worry, sweetheart, we'll shave all that off.

It will grow back.

So. Tell me...

What inspires you when you write a song?

Wait! Stop! This is crazy.

We are grown girls.

We shouldn't be at each other's throats over a guy.

So in the spirit of sisterhood, truce?

But I'm not a dancer.

Look, one of the dancers was stung by a jelly fish.

You will replace him. Just follow along.

- When do I start? - You're late.

What?

Hey. We need to talk.

Yeah. This is really awkward, the two of you fighting...

...like wildcats for my attention. I'd hate it if it wasn't so hot.

Right. Okay. Listen.

I want you to know, it's you, Jenny.

It's you I want.

I mean, Alexis has a smoking hot body.

But, you're the one I want.

You really like me?

I do, Jenny.

Mucho.

But I want to let Alexis down easy, so how am I gonna tell her?

Oh, let me.

You are vicious.

I love it.

- Jason! You know what we could use? - What?

- A private concert. - You know what? That's a great idea.

Yeah, you should perform to us.

- And we'll watch. - Right now?

Yep, right now!

All right.

Let's see.

I'm not used to this, but...

I think about you all the time.

Your face is etched into my mind.

I can't breathe without us... ...sharing air.

Impossible it seems to be that you could tame a guy like me.

I feel I'm not myself. But I don't care.

I've been waiting here for hours.

Just you on my mind. Yeah...

The avenues of hope.

Quickly losing time.

Always wondering can she be smitten...

...through my hands. I've examined its dance...

And I find I'm going crazy...

- You like that, huh? - Oh, he is the best.

There's some more to it, too. But we'll do that later.

It's a mess, home boy. Look around.

Swim somewhere.

We're talking DJ love. Cause I know what the ladies crave.

She's just a girl, and she's like my best friend.

- I don't know. - Uh, huh. I know this one.

You gotta let the woman know you're in charge, man.

She'll laugh at me.

Let her mock your ass. You don't care. Look at me.

I ain't all that but you know what I've got, baby, confidence.

Confidence. It's the ultimate aphrodisiac.

I thought power was the ultimate aphrodisiac.

Well, I ain't got any of that so it's confidence.

I don't care if I get slapped up the side

of the head nine times out of ten.

Because if number 10 gets freaky on my ass...

...then it's worth the pain. So, are you the man or what?

Yeah, Chase, I'm the man, yeah.

The man, yeah. Repeat after me.

- You the man. - You the man.

Not "you," "I!"

- I'm the man. - Say it again!

I'm the man.

Go get it, dog.

I'm the man.

Mama-Wanna please.

Damn. You got a booty like a little baby cow, girl.

My bad.

But still little don.

Hey.

Hey.

Hey, baby.

What are you wearing?

Are you going to a costume party?

Don't be hitting on my new clothes.

Oh, what's that smell?

Caribbean Sunset. My new after shave.

Do you like it?

It reminds me of Windex.

- Oh, I get it. - Get what?

You're doing somebody.

- No. - Yeah, yeah.

Morty Purvis, that kid from eighth grade,

the one that used to wear...

...really weird clothes and horrible cologne.

You captured him to a T.

Pretty good, huh?

Yeah, but Ryan, come here.

Things on the other side of the island are out of control.

I don't know what to do.

Tell them the truth.

No, I can't.

He told me that I'm the one.

- Did he? - Yes, God!

What do you do when all your dreams come true?

Keep it to yourself.

What? Aren't you psyched for me?

Yeah, Jenny.

I'm really happy for you. Look, I've gotta go.

Hey, where are you going?

I've gotta go return this necklace to Chase.

Bye.

Jenny, we're great together.

We've always been great together. I can't get you out of my mind.

But we're friends.

I fully expect you to blow me off.

I can't hold a candle to a pop star.

- I'm out of here. - Hold on. Talk to me.

Ryan, wait.

I'm going home. Have a good summer.

Look over there. What is that?

At 0600 hours Eastern Time, the life raft used by Jason Masters...

...was recovered, degraded, burned and battered.

It is the Coast Guard's position that without this life raft...

...the survival of Jason Masters and Jenny Taylor is highly unlikely.

At 0900 hours, orders were given to suspend the search.

Meanwhile, around the world, fans prayed...

...that the popular singing sensation will be found alive.

We'll keep you updated on developments in the search for Jason Masters.

I was Miss California two years running.

Nobody cut the mustard second year, so they extended me.

There she is. Hello, gorgeous.

Hi.

What's wrong with you?

Jason, I have to tell you something.

What's up?

I have adored you from the first moment I saw you on MTV.

I was in love with you.

But, it's ridiculous because I didn't even know you.

But I thought that if we had some time to get to know each other...

...you'd see how great I was.

That's crazy, right?

You don't deserve what I did to you.

What did you do to me?

She's caught jungle fever, Jason. She's lost her mind.

Can it, Alexis.

I know that after I tell you this, you're going to have me terminated.

But whatever. I don't care. I just need this to end.

Jenny!

- Stop it, now! - I have to tell him.

What are you talking about? What is she talking about?

We're still on St. Luchas.

Oh! Hey! Help!

- Help! - We're not marooned!

- What? - I thought we were,

but when I found out we weren't, I didn't tell you.

The resort is through that jungle.

You have no idea how sorry you're gonna be.

Yeah!

What are you talking about? You're part of this!

Mois?

Help! Help! Help!

When my lawyers get through with you two...

...there's gonna be nothing left but a smoking cinder.

- Jason! - Thanks, man.

Jason! Wait.

No. No, no! No!

She's crazy.

I'm just as scared and confused as you are.

- You dropped something. - What?

Your accent.

Go! Go!

- Hey! Aren't you Jason Masters? - Yeah, that's me, let's go.

Oh, my God!

You ruined everything.

I had him in the palm of my hand and you blew it!

I'll pick you up at Logan. What time, son?

- My plane gets in at ten. - What happened?

It's a long story. I'll tell you when I get home.

How's this? You can get out now.

Breaking news from storm watch central.

Hurricane Sandy has suddenly shifted course...

...and is headed for the resort island of St Lucha.

It has left a trail of destruction and devastation across the Caribbean.

Forced evacuation has been ordered by the local authorities.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention?

Everyone, attention.

We're can't get out. One hundred mile an hour winds...

...they close the airport.

We have to double up the people in the rooms.

What's up, Ryan? You know the hurricane's coming.

- Where's it making landfall? - On the other side of the island.

What's wrong?

Ryan, where are you going?

You know it's a hurricane out there.

You might get caught up in it, Ryan!

That's one crazy white boy.

I'll get you.

I got your license number, buddy. Yeah, I got it.

Jenny! Where are you?

Jenny!

Jenny!

Ryan!

Oh, my God!

- Ryan! - Jenny! Jenny, I'm coming.

Ryan!

- Jenny! - It's stuck!

Hold on. I got you.

Come on.

- Where are we? - Come on.

- Are you okay? - Yeah, I'll be fine.

We're safe now. I'm going to make a fire.

You saved my life.

I did, didn't I?

Come on, there's got to be something at Tower Records for me.

I could be a cashier. Yeah?

Milo.

Is it you?

Yeah.

You're alive! You're alive!

That's cool. That's cool. Enough.

Sorry.

What happened?

You've got the whole world going ape over this.

It's been a bloody freak show. Where the hell were you?

I was blowing chunks over the side and fell in.

This chick saves me.

We think we're marooned on an island

only we're still in St. Luchas.

You were on St. Luchas the whole time?

She doesn't tell me, okay. I'm an idiot.

- Who else knows? - That I'm an idiot?

Who else knows about your shipwreck?

Only the people that picked me up.

They can be paid off.

Don't worry, I know exactly what to do.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I just need to shower and crash.

It's not always completely sold out. He's not going to do it.

Milo, that's her.

- Are you sure? - Yeah, the blond.

Jenny, sweetheart, Jason would like to have a word with you.

Excuse me, who are you?

Oh. Here love.

Have some free tickets. Right this way.

- Ryan. - No.

Please, Jason, really, really wants to see you.

Hold on!

- Good to see you, babe. - Okay, I'm really confused.

Look, Jenny, despite your lies, depravity, and deception...

...I still meant what I said on the beach.

About destroying me?

No, no, about liking you.

He can't stop talking about you.

Oh my God, Jason, you were right.

She is adorable.

Thanks, I'm just gonna get Ryan...

Jenny, we're gonna have a little press conference.

To tell Jason's adoring fans about the last few days...

...and we need you to say a few little words, too, love.

A press conference?

Yeah, we'll take a few pictures. Get me Natasha.

Tell her we have a hair emergency.

Okay, Ryan's just outside.

He'll keep.

I'm from US Weekly.

Is there any chance I can get in to see Jason?

What's going on?

- Ryan. - Gil, get him out.

No wait! Let him stay.

Look. To you Jenny may just be some crazy fan from Massachusetts.

I mean I know she can be a little

impulsive and get carried away sometimes.

But she's the most amazing girl you will ever meet.

And you are lucky to have her care so much about you.

Jenny, I love you.

Is this your boyfriend?

- Lose the geek. - Guess not.

Let' go.

- Come on. - Ryan.

He'll be fine, love. They won't hurt him.

Stop this! Jenny! Jenny!

I really need you to help me out on this.

Okay, but I...

This will all go away if we just play it right.

Welcome to the Sun Village Beach Resort at Coch...

Jason Masters is back!

The Villa now.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Jason Masters!

Erin Dood with the U.S. News.

You.

Jay Bigsby of Rolling Stone. Can you tell us what happened to you?

It's a million dollar question, isn't it?

Don't leave us in the dark, Jason.

I was on a cruise ship with some friends.

And a young lady fell overboard. Naturally, I dove in to save her.

I managed to steer the tiny raft to a deserted island.

Where I had to catch fish with my bare hands.

Where did you learn all that?

Boy Scouts.

I built a ship out of palm trees.

Sailed back to St. Luchas,

navigating by the stars, of course.

It was with the support of one beautiful woman...

...that gave the will to carry on...

Jason Masters...

So! Tell us how you made it.

Regale us with your Navy Seals like survival skills.

Who are you? What's your name?

Jason! Jason!

Who is this woman?

What about Jenny Taylor?

Who is the woman? One more question here.

Who is the lady?

And that one woman is Alexis Menetti!

Who's that?

- What are you doing? - Saving both of us.

And I know they wouldn't want me to spill the beans...

But what the heck, I'm going to do it anyway.

May I present to all of you the future...

Mrs. Jason Masters, Alexis Menetti.

Jenny all the reports have you on the island with Jason.

Well, that was just a publicity cover-up for the real affair.

I don't know, I guess they wanted a really pretty girl.

Tell us, Jenny, so you're not with Jason?

No.

My boyfriend is Ryan Howell.

And he's standing right back there.

Now that's what I'm talking about!

Hi.

Hi.

So, uh, what are you doing tonight?

- Huh? - What are you doing tonight?

I was thinking we could hang out.

You don't have to if you don't want to.

You know, we could do something...

If you can't...

Jenny. Please

Assert yourself.

I love you.

How's that?

It's a start.

So why now? Why not two years ago?

Well, I finally took the advice from a good friend.

I don't want to be ninety and dead, thinking I should have tried.

Really, sounds kind of lame. I mean...

...can you sink when you're dead?

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I'd like to dedicate this song to my new wife, Alexis... Masters.

I think about you all the time. Your face is etched into my mind.

I can't breathe without us sharing love.

Impossible it seems to be that you can tame a guy like me.

Feeling not myself, but I don't care.

No I don't care.

I've been waiting here for hours...

...just you on my mind.

Never lose hope.

Quickly losing time. Always wondering...

...can she be slipping through my hands.

I've examined its snares and I find I'm going crazy.

Crazy, yeah. Oh...

I'm going crazy... crazy... I can't... I can't...

...get you out of my mind... mind...

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Yeah!

We love you!

- Thank you. - That's my girl.

Goodnight, Winnipeg.

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