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1
00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:12,212
??? Previously on "Resident Alien"... This is what is left
of my spaceship.
2
00:00:12,212 --> 00:00:14,181
??? This happened to you
because you went to space.
3
00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,749
??? I don't think
that's how space works.
4
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:19,086
??? What else could it be?
??? I have no idea.
5
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:20,554
??? That little shit pocket.
6
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:24,491
I forgot to tell you, my people
are coming to kill everyone.
7
00:00:24,491 --> 00:00:26,560
??? You're an alien,
you know, phone home.
8
00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:28,428
Call them and tell them
not to come.
9
00:00:28,428 --> 00:00:31,331
??? I will try to build a radio
and contact my people.
10
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:33,133
??? The government is after him.
11
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:35,068
They know
that I know who he is.
12
00:00:35,068 --> 00:00:36,203
??? What?
13
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,604
??? And they went back
to their base,
14
00:00:37,604 --> 00:00:39,406
and now they're driving around
searching for him.
15
00:00:39,406 --> 00:00:41,208
??? How do you know
where their base is?
16
00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,043
??? We have our ways.
17
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,344
??? Hello, Asta.
We need to speak
18
00:00:44,344 --> 00:00:46,413
with Dr. Vanderspeigle
about that severed foot.
19
00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:47,514
Well, I'll be.
20
00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:49,449
Botulinum toxin??????
the murder weapon.
21
00:00:49,449 --> 00:00:52,019
??? Oh, no.
??? Where is he, Asta?
22
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,487
??? He went to hide
in the cellar.
23
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:54,588
??? Dr. Vanderspeigle!
24
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,658
??? Whoa, what's with the guns?
??? Asta?
25
00:00:57,658 --> 00:01:00,060
??? What in holy hell?
26
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:05,065
??? [groaning]
27
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,768
[dramatic music]
28
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:11,238
? ?
29
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:15,409
??? That faint one there is Mars,
30
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,211
the god of war.
31
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:22,115
And over there is Venus,
the goddess of fertility.
32
00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:25,152
??? Venus rhymes with penis.
??? [laughs]
33
00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:27,621
??? D'arcy, Judy,
that's not funny.
34
00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:29,356
??? Is there a girl hero?
35
00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:32,292
??? Olivia Baker, did we raise
our hand before we spoke?
36
00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:34,361
??? Ben didn't raise his hand.
37
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:37,231
??? Ben is working
on being more assertive,
38
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,566
so it's okay for him.
39
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,568
[whooshing]
40
00:01:41,568 --> 00:01:44,471
??? Wow, what's that?
41
00:01:44,471 --> 00:01:47,508
??? Let's go!
Asta, Kayla, come on!
42
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:49,176
??? Cool!
??? Wait up!
43
00:01:49,176 --> 00:01:52,346
??? Hey, hey!
Never leave a fire unattended.
44
00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:55,082
??? I'll stay.
[children shouting excitedly]
45
00:01:55,082 --> 00:02:00,120
? ?
46
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,789
??? Wait for me, kids.
Hey, you can't go alone!
47
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:10,063
? ?
48
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:16,170
??? I looked,
but there was nothing.
49
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:18,539
I didn't see anything.
??? I did. I saw something.
50
00:02:18,539 --> 00:02:22,309
??? Olivia Baker, you know
the rules about lying.
51
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,778
? ?
52
00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:27,014
??? Did you really see something?
53
00:02:29,750 --> 00:02:31,351
??? No.
54
00:02:31,351 --> 00:02:37,791
? ?
55
00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:41,061
[laidback acoustic strumming]
56
00:02:41,061 --> 00:02:47,734
? ?
57
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:51,071
[suspenseful music]
58
00:02:51,071 --> 00:02:53,173
??? Dr. Vanderspeigle!
59
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,308
Dr. V!
60
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,478
Where the hell is he?
Oh, shit!
61
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:00,514
Put your hands
above your head right now.
62
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,016
You're under arrest
for the murder of Sam Hodges.
63
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,685
??? What?
Harry, what's going on?
64
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:07,788
? ?
65
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:11,124
??? You're going to
have to catch me first.
66
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:13,727
??? Oh, shit!
Oh, shit!
67
00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:16,230
Deputy, we got
ourselves a werewolf!
68
00:03:16,230 --> 00:03:17,764
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Hey! Hey!
69
00:03:17,764 --> 00:03:19,600
[gunshot]
??? Don't shoot him!
70
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,235
??? Him?
That's a goddamn it!
71
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:22,736
You need a silver bullet
in your ass,
72
00:03:22,736 --> 00:03:24,238
you albino???ass werewolf
mother??????
73
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,339
[shouts]
74
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:28,108
[gunshots]
75
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,210
??? No, he won't hurt you
if you don't hurt him!
76
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:32,045
He's an alien!
77
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,481
??? I knew they existed.
78
00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:37,551
? ?
79
00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:42,489
??? ? Love and affection
is all that you lack ?
80
00:03:42,489 --> 00:03:44,358
??? You know what?
81
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,126
I think we deserve a toast
with our toast.
82
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:48,228
Good work on the
Severed Foot Killer, Deputy.
83
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,197
It's gonna be nice to move on
to something else.
84
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:52,366
??? Thank you, sir.
You too.
85
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,668
??? Mmm.
??? Mmm.
86
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,205
I don't want to put my "foot"
87
00:03:58,205 --> 00:04:00,240
in my mouth...
??? [laughs]
88
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:04,611
??? But I think we deserve
to have more of this bacon.
89
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,513
And maybe even a raise!
90
00:04:06,513 --> 00:04:08,348
??? Ha! You know what?
91
00:04:08,348 --> 00:04:11,018
Now that I think about it,
you're absolutely right.
92
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:14,655
I mean, now's the time,
and you've certainly earned it.
93
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:16,757
Let's get some more
of that bacon.
94
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:20,027
[chuckles]
[door opens, bells jingle]
95
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,528
[door closes, bells jingle]
96
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:24,531
[dramatic music]
97
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:26,767
? ?
98
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:29,369
Morning, Dr. V.
99
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,505
??? Howdy.
100
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:35,042
??? How...dy.
101
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,477
??? Wow, I guess it worked.
102
00:04:37,477 --> 00:04:39,279
??? I am an alien.
103
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,282
We are very good
at changing peoples' memories
104
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:43,784
to suit our purposes.
105
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:46,453
They will not be
a problem anymore.
106
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:49,556
[suspenseful music]
107
00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:53,227
? ?
108
00:04:53,227 --> 00:04:54,761
??? Deputy, let's get
into the car
109
00:04:54,761 --> 00:04:56,697
and drive out
to Dr. Vanderspeigle's house.
110
00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:59,766
We need to talk to him
about some murder stuff.
111
00:04:59,766 --> 00:05:03,036
[tires screech]
112
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:08,609
??? Sheriff Michael Thompson,
Deputy Olivia Baker,
113
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:12,579
Special Agent Fisher, FBI.
114
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,114
We're tracking down
the Dead Foot Killer.
115
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,616
We've been following
your movements
116
00:05:15,616 --> 00:05:17,117
for quite some time now,
117
00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:20,454
and I have to say,
you two do excellent work.
118
00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:23,190
??? Thank you. You've made me
feel good about myself,
119
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,292
so I'm open to what
you're going to say next.
120
00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:28,262
??? We wouldn't be where we are
if it wasn't for you both.
121
00:05:28,262 --> 00:05:30,631
But the time has come for us
to take over this case.
122
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,332
??? Well, if you're taking over,
123
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:35,068
we should stop
looking into the crime.
124
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:38,071
??? Exactly. I can only tell you
one thing about the case.
125
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:42,309
The murderer is not
Harry Vanderspeigle.
126
00:05:43,644 --> 00:05:46,079
??? Well, you're lucky
they bought that.
127
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,648
You know, when we were
in the crevasse,
128
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:49,149
I saw you were an alien.
129
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,518
Why didn't you replace
my memory?
130
00:05:51,518 --> 00:05:53,720
??? Because I am not alone
anymore.
131
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,624
You can thank me if you want.
132
00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:59,660
??? For what?
133
00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:03,230
??? I killed the man who killed
your friend Sam.
134
00:06:03,230 --> 00:06:05,766
You are welcome.
135
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,434
??? Okay, Harry...
??? Hmm?
136
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:09,203
??? You're still a murderer.
137
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:13,440
??? No. I am a murderer murderer.
It's very different.
138
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:17,511
??? You can rationalize your
murderer murder all damn day.
139
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,246
[whispering]
But guess what.
140
00:06:19,246 --> 00:06:22,049
Abigail Hodges is still accused
of a murder she didn't commit.
141
00:06:22,049 --> 00:06:24,685
??? So what?
You do not even like her.
142
00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,620
??? What is wrong with you?
143
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,755
Do you really have
no empathy whatsoever?
144
00:06:28,755 --> 00:06:30,490
??? That is not
what is wrong with me.
145
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,226
That is what is right with me.
146
00:06:32,226 --> 00:06:33,193
??? Maybe you should try
147
00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,295
putting yourself
in other people's shoes.
148
00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:40,300
??? Ugh! Other people's shoes
smell like other people's feet.
149
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,603
??? Hi, I'm Ben Hawthorne,
150
00:06:42,603 --> 00:06:45,572
Mayor of peaceful
Patience, Colorado,
151
00:06:45,572 --> 00:06:47,608
where sometimes
bad things happen
152
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:49,610
that are totally unrelated.
153
00:06:49,610 --> 00:06:51,545
Some of the highest peaks
in Colorado
154
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:55,182
are right here in Patience,
but you know what's really low?
155
00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,618
Our mortality rate.
156
00:06:57,618 --> 00:06:59,486
??? I don't think
you should say "mortality."
157
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:01,088
??? No?
??? No.
158
00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,090
??? No good? You're right,
it's a little too dark.
159
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,459
??? Mm???hmm.
??? Yeah. Uh, Alexa?
160
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:09,196
What is another word
for "mortality"?
161
00:07:09,196 --> 00:07:12,032
??? Synonyms for "mortality"
meaning "death"
162
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:15,302
include "fatality,"
"bloodshed," or "dying."
163
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,070
??? Alexa, stop.
164
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:18,305
Uh, you know what?
165
00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:20,774
Let's just lose the whole,
you know, death theme.
166
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:22,709
??? Yeah.
??? Yeah. Keep it positive.
167
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,545
??? Yeah, keep it light.
??? Keep it loose.
168
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:25,779
??? Yeah.
??? Okay, let me, uh??????
169
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,181
let me just try some of these.
170
00:07:27,181 --> 00:07:29,449
[exhales sharply]
Come on down to Patience.
171
00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:31,385
We still have
a working phone booth.
172
00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:33,220
We have a pretty good dentist.
173
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,622
Our meth hospitalizations
have been way down
174
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,157
since we legalized marijuana.
175
00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:38,292
So come to Patience
176
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:41,295
for some good, clean
family fun, you hear?
177
00:07:41,295 --> 00:07:42,763
??? Oh! Oops
178
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,699
How'd that get in there?
[chuckles]
179
00:07:45,699 --> 00:07:47,734
??? See, honey, this is??????
this is why I said not to use
180
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:49,503
the cloud for these??????
it's not safe.
181
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,737
??? Oh, don't be so uptight.
182
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:52,506
What's the worst
that happens, huh?
183
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:54,474
Somebody hacks into our account
184
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,110
and sees pictures
of our BDSM kink play?
185
00:07:57,110 --> 00:08:00,447
??? What's BDSM kink play?
??? It's??????uh, it's??????
186
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:01,682
??? Did we get a new game?
??? It's nothing.
187
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,350
It's nothing.
No, we did not, okay?
188
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:05,118
Go clean your room??????my cousin
Carlyn's coming for the night.
189
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,687
??? Can I play kink play
with you and your cousin?
190
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,222
both: No!
191
00:08:08,222 --> 00:08:09,756
??? Uh, because
she and I are going hiking.
192
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:12,092
You go clean your room.
??? [sighs]
193
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:15,229
??? So how long will building
this radio take?
194
00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:18,232
Can I help?
??? Ha! Ha!
195
00:08:18,232 --> 00:08:22,636
I don't know. Can a newborn pig
help perform cardiac surgery?
196
00:08:22,636 --> 00:08:24,571
??? All right, you might want
to think of another metaphor
197
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,640
before I push you into traffic.
198
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,076
I'm just trying to save
the human race here.
199
00:08:29,076 --> 00:08:31,778
??? My problem is I do not have
a lot of time to build it,
200
00:08:31,778 --> 00:08:36,617
and human technology
is very limited.
201
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,752
??? I don't know
what to tell you, Harry.
202
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:40,020
Get creative.
203
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,289
You know, E. T. used
a freakin' Speak & Spell.
204
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:45,292
??? E. T. was an idiot.
205
00:08:45,292 --> 00:08:48,228
Obviously, sexy.
206
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:50,230
Very attractive...
207
00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:52,533
but so dumb.
208
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,768
??? Well, at least we have
fewer distractions
209
00:08:54,768 --> 00:08:57,471
now that your criminal past
is taken care of.
210
00:08:57,471 --> 00:09:00,541
??? Almost taken care of.
211
00:09:02,109 --> 00:09:04,244
Now it is taken care of.
??? Are you serious?
212
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,113
Maybe don't throw
a deadly toxin
213
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,781
where any kid can just grab it.
??? Mm.
214
00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,583
??? Have you not watched enough
"Law & Order" to know
215
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:12,519
you don't just throw evidence
into a trash can?
216
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,655
Who's the idiot now?
217
00:09:14,655 --> 00:09:16,790
??? Still E. T.
218
00:09:16,790 --> 00:09:19,393
Beautiful moron.
219
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:22,362
[dramatic music]
220
00:09:22,362 --> 00:09:25,499
? ?
221
00:09:25,499 --> 00:09:27,467
[knock at door]
222
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:34,341
? ?
223
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:40,080
What?
224
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,549
??? Dr. Vanderspeigle,
I am so glad you're home.
225
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,084
This is my cousin Carlyn.
226
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,619
??? Hi. Sorry.
227
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,721
??? We were out hiking, and she
tripped and cut her knee open.
228
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,224
I was hoping you could help.
??? And she's dying?
229
00:09:50,224 --> 00:09:52,459
??? Oh, no. [chuckles]
It just needs to be looked at.
230
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,394
??? I was gonna take her
into town,
231
00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,163
but Dr. Smallwood is...
232
00:09:56,163 --> 00:09:58,799
Well, Susan Brown went in
with a broken wrist
233
00:09:58,799 --> 00:10:01,201
and came out
with a cast on her ankle.
234
00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,337
??? If I fix it...
235
00:10:03,337 --> 00:10:05,005
you'll leave?
236
00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:07,074
??? Uh, yes.
237
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,342
??? Mm.
238
00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:11,211
??? Oh, this looks like
a ring resonator.
239
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,514
Are you??????
are you building a laser?
240
00:10:13,514 --> 00:10:16,083
??? Are you a talking ham?
241
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:18,352
??? Carlyn works in a lab
at New Mexico Tech.
242
00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:21,088
She's one smart lady.
??? I'm impressed.
243
00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:25,025
For a layman,
this is really quite advanced.
244
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:26,360
??? It is software???based
245
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:30,030
radio???telemetry???transceiver
technology,
246
00:10:30,030 --> 00:10:32,499
but the inside???out
potato chip bag
247
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:36,203
that I'm using as
a diffuser keeps melting.
248
00:10:36,203 --> 00:10:37,638
??? Wow.
249
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,773
I've never known a guy
who was into SDR
250
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:42,676
who wasn't also,
like, you know, a troll.
251
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:45,379
[chuckles]
??? Trolls live under bridges.
252
00:10:45,379 --> 00:10:46,580
I am not one of them.
253
00:10:46,580 --> 00:10:49,283
??? It means she thinks
you're handsome.
254
00:10:49,283 --> 00:10:51,518
? ?
255
00:10:51,518 --> 00:10:55,489
??? I have a handsome human face.
256
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:58,192
And my skin tone is the same
as a dead soldier
257
00:10:58,192 --> 00:11:00,527
in a Renaissance painting.
258
00:11:08,468 --> 00:11:10,337
[cell phone chimes]
??? ? I'm just messin' around ?
259
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:11,605
[cell phone chimes]
260
00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:14,575
? I'm just messin' around,
around ?
261
00:11:14,575 --> 00:11:16,009
? I'm just messin' around ?
262
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,778
[cell phone vibrates]
263
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,314
??? Oh. Yes.
264
00:11:20,314 --> 00:11:24,051
??? ? Around,
and I like it ?
265
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:26,753
??? Just, whatever you do,
don't eat the snacks.
266
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:29,389
??? Benny. Kate.
267
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:32,192
Long time, no see??????
well, together anyway.
268
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,728
I saw you up close
and personal the other night.
269
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:37,531
??? What other night?
270
00:11:37,531 --> 00:11:40,033
??? Poker.
271
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:42,269
Why? What night did you think
I was talking about?
272
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:44,571
??? Hi, I'm Carlyn.
??? Hey. D'arcy.
273
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:47,007
So can I get you guys
some sliders?
274
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:50,310
Day???old buns help disguise
the week???old meat.
275
00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:51,778
??? We'll just??????
we'll stick to liquids.
276
00:11:51,778 --> 00:11:54,781
??? We just wanted to show Carlyn
the town, and now we have.
277
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:56,483
It took about nine minutes.
278
00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,352
??? Well, if you're here tonight,
279
00:11:58,352 --> 00:12:00,320
my friend Kayla
just called a GN59.
280
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:03,023
It's, like, a party but with
a decent chance of prison time.
281
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:04,424
??? Sounds fun.
282
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,059
??? Yeah. Yeah.
283
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,228
When anything stressful
or shitty happens,
284
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,330
anyone in our friend group
can call a GN59.
285
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:11,598
You have to drop everything
286
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:14,234
and go tits out
on a huge girls' night.
287
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,736
Yeah, it's really fun.
You should come.
288
00:12:15,736 --> 00:12:17,738
??? Well, can't tonight.
We have dinner plans.
289
00:12:17,738 --> 00:12:20,140
But, uh, wouldn't mind ordering
a few drinks, though,
290
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,109
if you can just find
that bartender.
291
00:12:22,109 --> 00:12:23,410
??? Oh, come on, Kate???o.
292
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:25,612
You just said you'd seen
everything in the town.
293
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:27,281
??? Yeah, we should
totally do it.
294
00:12:27,281 --> 00:12:28,448
I mean, when's the last time
295
00:12:28,448 --> 00:12:30,751
you let Kendra out
to play, huh?
296
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,085
??? Who's Kendra?
297
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:34,221
??? Kendra was her alter ego
when she drank too much.
298
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:37,090
Oh, yeah, she brought her out
at a family reunion once??????
299
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:38,492
real wild child.
300
00:12:38,492 --> 00:12:40,527
Oh, I'm sad.
You've never met Kendra.
301
00:12:40,527 --> 00:12:43,030
??? Yeah. News to me.
??? I'm sad, too.
302
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:45,232
??? Uh, I'll have a pilsner,
what would you ladies like?
303
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:47,768
??? Come on.
304
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,036
??? Okay.
305
00:12:49,036 --> 00:12:50,771
Okay. Let's do it.
306
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:51,738
??? Oh.
??? We'll do it.
307
00:12:51,738 --> 00:12:53,507
??? Oh, but, hon,
we already got a sitter.
308
00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:57,211
??? Perfect. Call a friend.
You can go out, too.
309
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:59,746
Ugh! Yes!
310
00:12:59,746 --> 00:13:02,216
[grunts] Can we get
some service around here?
311
00:13:02,216 --> 00:13:03,483
??? [chuckles]
312
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,355
??? Hey, Sahar, I need your help.
313
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:11,158
Wait, when did you get a dog?
314
00:13:11,158 --> 00:13:12,593
??? I'm not allowed
to have a dog.
315
00:13:12,593 --> 00:13:15,262
I walk Cinnamon
for my neighbors.
316
00:13:15,262 --> 00:13:16,663
She hasn't pooped
in three days.
317
00:13:16,663 --> 00:13:18,232
??? Why not?
318
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:20,234
??? She swallowed
a whole avocado.
319
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:22,402
I don't walk
behind her anymore.
320
00:13:22,402 --> 00:13:23,737
??? Ew!
321
00:13:23,737 --> 00:13:25,772
You got to help me shave again.
322
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,341
??? Your face looks fine.
323
00:13:27,341 --> 00:13:29,209
??? It's not my face.
324
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:33,046
[dramatic music]
325
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:35,482
??? Oh. What?
??? What?
326
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,652
??? I need a lawnmower for that!
??? What do I do?
327
00:13:38,652 --> 00:13:39,653
??? I can help you,
328
00:13:39,653 --> 00:13:42,256
but we're gonna need
some privacy.
329
00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:47,060
I found it last week.
330
00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:50,063
Your mom's phone
still had battery.
331
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,765
They just...
332
00:13:51,765 --> 00:13:54,034
left it here.
333
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,736
??? Cool.
334
00:13:55,736 --> 00:13:58,705
? ?
335
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,642
[bird squawking]
336
00:14:01,642 --> 00:14:04,611
? ?
337
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:08,148
[radio squealing]
338
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,350
??? Okay.
339
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,486
All right,
where are we going, General?
340
00:14:12,486 --> 00:14:15,055
? ?
341
00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:16,490
[static whirs]
No.
342
00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:19,393
No, no, no.
No, don't die on me now.
343
00:14:19,393 --> 00:14:20,627
Come on.
344
00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,029
Come on.
345
00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,598
? ?
346
00:14:24,598 --> 00:14:27,301
[whirring stops]
347
00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:30,204
Damn it!
[sighs]
348
00:14:30,204 --> 00:14:32,773
Where the hell
am I gonna find a new dish?
349
00:14:32,773 --> 00:14:34,741
[sighs]
350
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:37,010
? ?
351
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,012
??? I feel bad doing this.
352
00:14:39,012 --> 00:14:41,114
? ?
353
00:14:41,114 --> 00:14:42,549
??? Why aren't you looking?
354
00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:44,618
??? It's against my religion
to look at the naked back
355
00:14:44,618 --> 00:14:47,554
of a man who's not my relative
or my husband.
356
00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,756
Plus, it's disgusting.
357
00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:51,625
??? Is it gonna hurt?
358
00:14:51,625 --> 00:14:53,660
??? My mom says when she waxes
her legs,
359
00:14:53,660 --> 00:14:57,431
it feels like being stung
by a thousand hornets.
360
00:14:57,431 --> 00:14:59,266
??? Then why does she do it?
361
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,368
??? Because as soon
as we hit puberty,
362
00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:04,571
Western culture tells women
we're not okay as we are.
363
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:07,474
We must rip out stuff
that's supposed to be there,
364
00:15:07,474 --> 00:15:09,610
insert stuff that's not
supposed to be there,
365
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:13,413
and bleach everything visible
to the naked eye.
366
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,582
??? Hey, being a man
is hard, too.
367
00:15:15,582 --> 00:15:18,185
I have to brush
my teeth sometimes.
368
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,356
??? I take it back.
I don't feel bad anymore.
369
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:26,326
[strip tears]
??? [echoing] Aah!
370
00:15:29,463 --> 00:15:31,365
??? Miguel...
371
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,600
my belle.
372
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,402
??? What the hell did you
just call me?
373
00:15:35,402 --> 00:15:36,570
??? No, nothing, bro???ham.
374
00:15:36,570 --> 00:15:40,107
Just, uh, taking
a little breaky, you know?
375
00:15:40,107 --> 00:15:42,242
A little break???a???rindo.
376
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:44,211
[object squeaks]
377
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:45,479
Dog toy.
378
00:15:45,479 --> 00:15:47,414
Oh, you got one
of those, uh, Zen gardens.
379
00:15:47,414 --> 00:15:49,116
I love these things.
380
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:51,418
May I?
[chuckles]
381
00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:56,657
Yep. Yeah, more, uh,
relaxed already.
382
00:15:56,657 --> 00:15:59,593
So, um, I was just wondering??????
383
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:04,765
I'll??????I'll get that.
384
00:16:04,765 --> 00:16:07,334
Hey, uh, you ever tried
those wheat beers?
385
00:16:07,334 --> 00:16:09,436
You know, the one where
you put the lemon in there?
386
00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,171
I hear they're, uh??????
they're pretty tasty.
387
00:16:11,171 --> 00:16:12,339
??? What do you want, bro???ham?
388
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:15,209
What, are you asking me out
on a date or something?
389
00:16:15,209 --> 00:16:17,744
??? No, no.
Uh, well, yeah.
390
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:20,414
Uh, but a guy date??????
guy hang, you know?
391
00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:23,450
Just a couple brews,
mano a mano,
392
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:26,086
"caliente accione."
393
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,621
??? Look, I ain't got time
for that, okay?
394
00:16:27,621 --> 00:16:29,223
I take care of
my father at home.
395
00:16:29,223 --> 00:16:30,557
??? Sure.
396
00:16:30,557 --> 00:16:32,025
??? Now, I need you to clean up
all this damn sand
397
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,360
'cause I need 30 minutes
of raking every day
398
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,561
so I can relax.
399
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:36,563
??? I happen to know
that Lewis would love
400
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:38,665
to get out of the house
and have a beer.
401
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:44,037
??? I'll think about it.
How about that?
402
00:16:44,037 --> 00:16:46,540
I'll??????I'll think about it.
??? He'll definitely be there.
403
00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:49,610
??? ? I've got you stuck
in my head ?
404
00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:51,545
??? Thanks for letting us crash
your party.
405
00:16:51,545 --> 00:16:53,347
??? The more, the merrier.
406
00:16:53,347 --> 00:16:55,516
You know, a few GN59s ago,
407
00:16:55,516 --> 00:16:57,618
we actually needed
a few extra people
408
00:16:57,618 --> 00:17:00,387
and a wheelbarrow
to carry D'arcy home.
409
00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:01,755
??? Oh, wait. No.
??? [chuckles]
410
00:17:01,755 --> 00:17:04,224
??? Yeah. [grunts]
I came prepared this time.
411
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:06,627
I might need to make
a quick getaway, so...
412
00:17:06,627 --> 00:17:09,162
Hey. Hi.
??? [gasps] Hi.
413
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:10,597
[both smooch]
414
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:12,432
??? Hi.
??? Hi, this is my cousin Carlyn.
415
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,767
??? Hi. Kayla.
??? Hey.
416
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,569
??? Nice to meet you.
??? Are you okay? What happened?
417
00:17:15,569 --> 00:17:17,070
??? Yeah, is everything okay
with Shane?
418
00:17:17,070 --> 00:17:18,238
??? Yes. Yeah, he's fine.
419
00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:19,439
I just needed
to get out of the house.
420
00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:21,508
??? Oh, okay, I was worried.
421
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:24,144
??? Can I just say??????
as a mom, I'm with you.
422
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:27,214
Sometimes needing to get out
of the house is an emergency.
423
00:17:27,214 --> 00:17:28,582
??? Yes. Yes, thank you.
424
00:17:28,582 --> 00:17:31,285
You know, you just need
a kid??? and a man???free zone.
425
00:17:31,285 --> 00:17:32,719
??? Mm???hmm.
??? Amen to that.
426
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,721
I mean, I don't have a kid
or a man,
427
00:17:34,721 --> 00:17:38,592
but, you know, anecdotal
evidence would support that.
428
00:17:38,592 --> 00:17:41,128
The town I live in,
all the men really suck.
429
00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:43,397
My lab supervisor thinks
grabbing my buttocks
430
00:17:43,397 --> 00:17:44,531
is one of his job perks.
431
00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:46,099
??? Ew.
??? I was really beginning
432
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:48,168
to think I was never gonna meet
a nice guy.
433
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,603
Till today, that is.
434
00:17:49,603 --> 00:17:51,505
??? Wait, you met a guy here?
??? Mm???hmm.
435
00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,173
??? Today?
??? In Patience?
436
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,409
??? Mm???hmm.
??? No way. Who?
437
00:17:55,409 --> 00:17:59,079
[upbeat jazzy music]
438
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,480
??? Jesus God.
??? Oh.
439
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:06,753
? ?
440
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:18,031
??? ? I've got you stuck
in my head ? [upbeat jazzy music]
441
00:18:18,031 --> 00:18:19,633
??? What are you doing here?
442
00:18:19,633 --> 00:18:21,602
You told me that every minute
you're not working on the radio
443
00:18:21,602 --> 00:18:25,138
is a minute we all come closer
to certain death.
444
00:18:25,138 --> 00:18:27,207
??? I am working on the radio,
445
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:30,077
but without a diffuser,
it will never work.
446
00:18:30,077 --> 00:18:32,779
The pony???haired one's cousin
447
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:36,016
is a scientist in a lab...
448
00:18:36,016 --> 00:18:38,452
that uses portable diffusers.
449
00:18:38,452 --> 00:18:40,320
??? So what?
450
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:43,690
??? I know that I am not
as pretty as E. T.
451
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,292
??? [chuckles]
452
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,394
??? I do not have
his bulbous football head
453
00:18:47,394 --> 00:18:50,764
or his squat corgi legs
or his...
454
00:18:50,764 --> 00:18:53,100
platypus feet,
455
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:56,537
but I can be a charming alien
456
00:18:56,537 --> 00:18:59,239
when I need to be.
457
00:18:59,239 --> 00:19:00,440
Mm, mm, mm.
458
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,377
??? ? When you were here
before ?
459
00:19:03,377 --> 00:19:05,579
[soft music]
460
00:19:05,579 --> 00:19:07,581
??? So do you come here a lot?
461
00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:10,250
? ?
462
00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:12,085
??? Mm.
463
00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:14,354
Of all the gin joints
in all the world,
464
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:16,623
this one is closest
to my house.
465
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,559
??? [laughing]
466
00:19:18,559 --> 00:19:20,627
??? [laughing awkwardly]
467
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:25,332
? ?
468
00:19:25,332 --> 00:19:29,603
??? ? I wish I was special ?
469
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,338
? You're so very... ?
470
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,574
??? What is that perfume?
471
00:19:33,574 --> 00:19:37,110
??? Jergens Intense
Moisture Therapy.
472
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:40,447
I did a BM earlier,
so I had to wash them.
473
00:19:40,447 --> 00:19:41,682
I get acute dermatitis
474
00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:43,617
'cause I scrub them so often
in the lab,
475
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:46,119
so I carry it in my purse.
476
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:50,324
??? Mm. I don't wash my hands
after I urinate.
477
00:19:52,025 --> 00:19:56,129
The skin on my penis
is very clean.
478
00:19:56,129 --> 00:20:02,402
??? ? I don't belong here ?
479
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:07,641
? ?
480
00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,209
??? Gram keeps asking
about Harry.
481
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,678
??? Uh???huh.
??? I think she likes him.
482
00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:13,647
I think she wants you
to have his baby.
483
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,582
??? Ew! Gross! Shut up!
??? [chuckles]
484
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:17,417
You shut up.
485
00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:18,619
??? Hey, actually, can I ask
486
00:20:18,619 --> 00:20:20,521
your professional opinion
about something?
487
00:20:20,521 --> 00:20:22,122
??? Mm???hmm.
488
00:20:22,122 --> 00:20:24,091
??? What do you think is gonna
happen to Abigail Hodges?
489
00:20:24,091 --> 00:20:25,259
You know, Sam's wife?
490
00:20:25,259 --> 00:20:27,528
Um, you think
she's gonna go to jail?
491
00:20:27,528 --> 00:20:29,530
??? You know, criminal law
isn't really my area,
492
00:20:29,530 --> 00:20:31,131
but from what I've read,
493
00:20:31,131 --> 00:20:32,566
I don't think
they're gonna get a conviction.
494
00:20:32,566 --> 00:20:34,468
??? Oh.
??? Yeah, sorry.
495
00:20:34,468 --> 00:20:36,103
??? No, that's good.
??? Oh.
496
00:20:36,103 --> 00:20:38,405
??? Um, you know, I mean,
if she??????if she didn't do it.
497
00:20:38,405 --> 00:20:40,741
??? Oh, but she probably did.
I mean, it's always the spouse.
498
00:20:40,741 --> 00:20:42,009
I'm a lawyer, too.
499
00:20:42,009 --> 00:20:43,477
??? No way.
Where do you practice?
500
00:20:43,477 --> 00:20:45,145
??? I don't.
501
00:20:45,145 --> 00:20:48,348
I gave up my dream to be a mom
and live in this tiny town.
502
00:20:48,348 --> 00:20:50,050
Now I'm happy. Shots?
503
00:20:50,050 --> 00:20:53,120
? ?
504
00:20:53,120 --> 00:20:55,589
??? I would like to...
505
00:20:55,589 --> 00:20:58,325
go by your work.
506
00:20:58,325 --> 00:21:00,561
Maybe you could give me
a tour of your lab.
507
00:21:00,561 --> 00:21:02,095
??? Oh.
??? Mm???hmm.
508
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:03,463
??? I love
that you're interested.
509
00:21:03,463 --> 00:21:05,432
That's very flattering,
but I can't.
510
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,034
??? Oh.
511
00:21:07,034 --> 00:21:11,038
??? Security is so tight,
not dissimilar to my vagina.
512
00:21:11,038 --> 00:21:13,073
??? Your vagina is like a lab?
513
00:21:13,073 --> 00:21:17,411
??? Yeah, it's??????
it's tough to get in.
514
00:21:17,411 --> 00:21:18,645
??? It is?
515
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:21,081
??? Lots of neat stuff
once you're there.
516
00:21:21,081 --> 00:21:24,117
??? Are there monkeys in cages?
??? No.
517
00:21:25,152 --> 00:21:27,688
??? Maybe it would be funny...
518
00:21:27,688 --> 00:21:29,089
Ha ha ha!
519
00:21:29,089 --> 00:21:31,625
A big joke if you stole
520
00:21:31,625 --> 00:21:35,362
a telemetry diffuser...
??? [laughs]
521
00:21:35,362 --> 00:21:37,431
??? And gave it to me.
522
00:21:37,431 --> 00:21:40,200
[both laughing]
??? They would freak out.
523
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,470
??? They would freak out.
You could be so funny.
524
00:21:43,470 --> 00:21:46,240
You're a kidder.
??? [laughs]
525
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,609
??? You should do it.
526
00:21:48,609 --> 00:21:50,711
??? Oh, my God.
??? Do it!
527
00:21:50,711 --> 00:21:53,480
??? [laughs] No.
??? Do it.
528
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:56,216
??? But you are so sweet to ask.
529
00:21:56,216 --> 00:21:58,285
? ?
530
00:21:58,285 --> 00:22:00,287
[clears throat]
531
00:22:00,287 --> 00:22:05,592
? ?
532
00:22:05,592 --> 00:22:08,095
Oh.
[objects clatter]
533
00:22:08,095 --> 00:22:10,230
[indistinct chatter]
534
00:22:10,230 --> 00:22:12,165
[rock music]
535
00:22:12,165 --> 00:22:15,068
[cell phone chimes]
??? [sighs] Hey, is that Liv?
536
00:22:15,068 --> 00:22:16,770
Tell her to hurry up.
She's late.
537
00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:19,473
??? Uh, no, it's just Jay.
Just guy drama.
538
00:22:19,473 --> 00:22:22,609
??? Oh. Wow, you??????you guys text?
539
00:22:22,609 --> 00:22:25,312
??? Yeah, mostly emojis.
Mostly eggplants.
540
00:22:25,312 --> 00:22:28,215
??? Wow, that's cool.
You guys are buddies now.
541
00:22:28,215 --> 00:22:30,484
??? Hey, GN59rs.
542
00:22:30,484 --> 00:22:32,019
all: Hey!
??? Sorry, I'm late!
543
00:22:32,019 --> 00:22:34,054
Trixie wouldn't start.
I had to jump her again.
544
00:22:34,054 --> 00:22:35,489
??? Thank God
you're finally here.
545
00:22:35,489 --> 00:22:37,624
??? Hey???o! Sorry!
I'm late, too.
546
00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:41,094
But I'm here, though,
finally, right?
547
00:22:41,094 --> 00:22:43,730
Ooh, thank you.
I could use that.
548
00:22:43,730 --> 00:22:46,500
??? That's??????
Never mind.
549
00:22:46,500 --> 00:22:48,068
??? Ugh, what is that?
550
00:22:48,068 --> 00:22:49,603
??? It's a gin and tonic.
551
00:22:49,603 --> 00:22:51,305
??? [spits]
both: Oh.
552
00:22:51,305 --> 00:22:53,273
??? Ugh, it's, like, fancy.
553
00:22:53,273 --> 00:22:55,609
Okay, I got to piss.
I'll be back.
554
00:22:55,609 --> 00:22:57,678
[scattered laughter]
555
00:22:57,678 --> 00:22:59,413
??? You text her?
??? No!
556
00:22:59,413 --> 00:23:02,482
How does she always know?
??? She always knows.
557
00:23:02,482 --> 00:23:05,219
? ?
558
00:23:05,219 --> 00:23:07,020
??? All right.
559
00:23:07,020 --> 00:23:09,156
All right, this is great.
560
00:23:09,156 --> 00:23:11,158
Nope, wife in the corner.
We're out of here.
561
00:23:11,158 --> 00:23:12,726
??? Where else do you plan
to go, son?
562
00:23:12,726 --> 00:23:15,362
This isn't New York City.
563
00:23:15,362 --> 00:23:17,631
??? Hey! Benny!
564
00:23:17,631 --> 00:23:19,766
Your girl's
safe with me, okay?
565
00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:22,469
But am I safe with her?
??? Oh.
566
00:23:22,469 --> 00:23:24,638
??? [mouthing words]
567
00:23:24,638 --> 00:23:26,974
??? Do you have any beer
with rat poison in it?
568
00:23:28,642 --> 00:23:30,544
??? [speaks indistinctly]
??? [clears throat]
569
00:23:30,544 --> 00:23:32,646
??? ? Swing, little darling ?
570
00:23:32,646 --> 00:23:34,715
? Swing until your daddy
come home ?
571
00:23:34,715 --> 00:23:36,350
??? Kate, you did good.
572
00:23:36,350 --> 00:23:39,353
It was so nice of Ben to take
the Sheriff out for a drink.
573
00:23:39,353 --> 00:23:41,021
??? Ben is so sweet.
574
00:23:41,021 --> 00:23:43,624
??? No, he's not.
He's a dirty little bitch.
575
00:23:43,624 --> 00:23:45,626
??? Hmm.
??? I'm sorry?
576
00:23:45,626 --> 00:23:48,662
??? [chuckles]
Gird your loins, ladies.
577
00:23:48,662 --> 00:23:50,531
I think Kendra has arrived.
??? Oh, yeah.
578
00:23:50,531 --> 00:23:53,800
The mayor is
a nasty piece of work.
579
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,003
I cannot wait to get home
580
00:23:56,003 --> 00:23:57,738
and let him slap
a puppy hood on me
581
00:23:57,738 --> 00:23:59,373
and jam a ball gag in my mouth.
582
00:23:59,373 --> 00:24:00,641
??? Oh, what?
583
00:24:00,641 --> 00:24:03,610
??? Ben??????
the one who makes candles?
584
00:24:03,610 --> 00:24:06,213
??? Uh, the wax he has
isn't just for candles.
585
00:24:06,213 --> 00:24:08,782
I have a nine???inch ice dildo
in my freezer
586
00:24:08,782 --> 00:24:10,751
that Max thinks is
for my water bottles.
587
00:24:10,751 --> 00:24:13,587
[laughter]
588
00:24:13,587 --> 00:24:15,455
??? Oh, God,
this is my favorite night.
589
00:24:15,455 --> 00:24:17,591
This is the best night
of my life.
590
00:24:17,591 --> 00:24:20,027
??? Can you please stop looking
at your wife?
591
00:24:20,027 --> 00:24:21,795
It's weird.
??? Look, I, uh??????
592
00:24:21,795 --> 00:24:23,664
I got to talk to you
about something.
593
00:24:23,664 --> 00:24:25,666
It's driving me crazy.
594
00:24:25,666 --> 00:24:28,168
Okay, so, about a week ago,
595
00:24:28,168 --> 00:24:30,671
D'arcy sort of...
596
00:24:30,671 --> 00:24:33,373
kissed me.
??? [chuckles]
597
00:24:33,373 --> 00:24:36,176
It was a drive???by.
Not my fault.
598
00:24:36,176 --> 00:24:38,478
No tongue.
599
00:24:38,478 --> 00:24:40,113
Some tongue.
600
00:24:40,113 --> 00:24:42,616
I just??????I really think
that I should tell Kate.
601
00:24:42,616 --> 00:24:44,585
??? Have you??????
have you lost your mind?
602
00:24:44,585 --> 00:24:46,320
You don't ever tell, never.
603
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:48,655
??? Now, hold on a minute??????the
man said he didn't reciprocate.
604
00:24:48,655 --> 00:24:50,224
??? It don't matter.
605
00:24:50,224 --> 00:24:51,792
This is something you take
to your grave, okay?
606
00:24:51,792 --> 00:24:53,660
??? Well, maybe I could, um??????
607
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:55,028
I could write her a note,
608
00:24:55,028 --> 00:24:56,730
you know,
explaining what happened.
609
00:24:56,730 --> 00:24:58,365
??? You want to??????
you want to write her a note?
610
00:24:58,365 --> 00:25:00,501
Okay. All right, look,
here's what I want you to do.
611
00:25:00,501 --> 00:25:01,768
Here go $5.
612
00:25:01,768 --> 00:25:03,670
Now, I want you to go down
to the mall.
613
00:25:03,670 --> 00:25:05,372
All right, you know that kiosk
614
00:25:05,372 --> 00:25:07,174
where they'll write your name
on a grain of rice?
615
00:25:07,174 --> 00:25:08,609
Right, you're gonna give
that guy that $5.
616
00:25:08,609 --> 00:25:10,544
He gonna write your note
on the end of a bullet, right?
617
00:25:10,544 --> 00:25:12,112
Now, I want you
to take that bullet.
618
00:25:12,112 --> 00:25:13,514
I want you to put it in a gun
and go home
619
00:25:13,514 --> 00:25:14,781
and stand in your bathtub.
620
00:25:14,781 --> 00:25:16,350
Now, you also gonna need
a phone book??????
621
00:25:16,350 --> 00:25:17,718
not something thin
like Patience,
622
00:25:17,718 --> 00:25:20,354
something with some girth
like??????like Denver, right?
623
00:25:20,354 --> 00:25:21,588
And you gonna put
that phone book
624
00:25:21,588 --> 00:25:22,756
up against one side
of your head,
625
00:25:22,756 --> 00:25:24,157
and you gonna take that gun
626
00:25:24,157 --> 00:25:25,726
and put it
against the other side, right?
627
00:25:25,726 --> 00:25:27,461
And then you're gonna shoot you
right in the head,
628
00:25:27,461 --> 00:25:29,763
and that bullet's gonna fly
right through and lodge itself
629
00:25:29,763 --> 00:25:32,699
right around the D's,
for dumbass.
630
00:25:32,699 --> 00:25:34,334
And she'll get your note.
631
00:25:34,334 --> 00:25:37,037
? ?
632
00:25:37,037 --> 00:25:38,071
??? But I'm dead.
633
00:25:38,071 --> 00:25:40,174
??? You tell her,
you dead anyway.
634
00:25:40,174 --> 00:25:43,010
[laughter]
635
00:25:43,010 --> 00:25:46,480
??? You guys, what the hell
is happening over there?
636
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:49,683
??? Ooh, I think we know
what's going to happen.
637
00:25:49,683 --> 00:25:52,586
all: Oh...
??? I don't??????I don't trust him.
638
00:25:52,586 --> 00:25:55,422
??? Your pulse is quickening.
639
00:25:55,422 --> 00:25:58,358
Your upper sternum
is becoming flushed.
640
00:25:58,358 --> 00:26:00,727
You are becoming aroused.
641
00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:02,629
??? I am now.
??? Hey, Harry.
642
00:26:02,629 --> 00:26:04,565
Can I please talk to you
for a second?
643
00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:07,534
??? I am so busy.
??? Now.
644
00:26:07,534 --> 00:26:10,170
? ?
645
00:26:10,170 --> 00:26:11,471
??? Don't go changing.
646
00:26:11,471 --> 00:26:15,242
? ?
647
00:26:15,242 --> 00:26:16,710
What is it?
648
00:26:16,710 --> 00:26:20,480
She is about to present
like an engorged macaque.
649
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:23,083
??? You are preying
on this woman.
650
00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:24,318
??? I am not preying on her.
651
00:26:24,318 --> 00:26:27,187
I am seducing her so
I can steal her security badge,
652
00:26:27,187 --> 00:26:31,491
then I can break into the lab
and steal a diffuser,
653
00:26:31,491 --> 00:26:34,228
and then finish my radio.
654
00:26:34,228 --> 00:26:35,429
??? That's a terrible plan.
655
00:26:35,429 --> 00:26:37,497
You're gonna swipe her badge
656
00:26:37,497 --> 00:26:39,733
and??????and just use it
at some high???security lab
657
00:26:39,733 --> 00:26:41,368
and think no one will notice?
658
00:26:41,368 --> 00:26:42,736
More importantly,
659
00:26:42,736 --> 00:26:45,305
you??????you can't just use people
like that.
660
00:26:45,305 --> 00:26:47,207
It's cruel.
661
00:26:47,207 --> 00:26:49,343
??? I am giving her compliments.
662
00:26:49,343 --> 00:26:52,446
She is happy like a baby,
663
00:26:52,446 --> 00:26:55,315
like a stupid, happy baby.
664
00:26:55,315 --> 00:27:00,187
??? You'll just never understand
what it's like to be a woman.
665
00:27:00,187 --> 00:27:02,022
??? That is true.
666
00:27:02,022 --> 00:27:05,559
? ?
667
00:27:05,559 --> 00:27:07,694
I am going to leave now.
668
00:27:09,630 --> 00:27:11,465
Good night!
669
00:27:12,766 --> 00:27:15,435
??? Wait, what just happened?
??? Uh...
670
00:27:15,435 --> 00:27:18,438
??? What??????what did I do?
??? Nothing. I'm sorry.
671
00:27:18,438 --> 00:27:21,475
[sighs] All the men
in this town suck, too.
672
00:27:21,475 --> 00:27:24,578
? ?
673
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:32,074
Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org
674
00:27:34,388 --> 00:27:38,725
[excited chatter,
dance music playing] ? ?
675
00:27:38,725 --> 00:27:40,160
??? Don't sweat it, Carly Q.
676
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,762
It's supposed to be
a girls' night anyway.
677
00:27:41,762 --> 00:27:43,330
??? Yeah, that's easy
for you to say.
678
00:27:43,330 --> 00:27:45,132
I saw that ice dildo
in your freezer.
679
00:27:45,132 --> 00:27:47,334
??? Whoo!
??? Okay, all right.
680
00:27:47,334 --> 00:27:49,069
Okay, uh, Judy's clothes
are coming off.
681
00:27:49,069 --> 00:27:51,004
Time to go to the yacht spot.
Come on.
682
00:27:51,004 --> 00:27:52,539
??? Ooh, we're going on a boat?
683
00:27:52,539 --> 00:27:54,341
??? Uh, no, Asta used to have
this station wagon
684
00:27:54,341 --> 00:27:56,210
we called "The Yacht,"
and we'd drive it
685
00:27:56,210 --> 00:27:58,779
to the middle of the woods
and drink and sing like idiots.
686
00:27:58,779 --> 00:28:00,480
??? And, plus,
it's where I usually barf,
687
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,216
so it's kind of like a boat
in that way.
688
00:28:02,216 --> 00:28:03,483
??? Oh.
??? I should go.
689
00:28:03,483 --> 00:28:05,519
You know, I got to get up early
and drive, so...
690
00:28:05,519 --> 00:28:06,753
all: No.
691
00:28:06,753 --> 00:28:08,288
??? Okay.
Well, I'll come with you.
692
00:28:08,288 --> 00:28:09,756
??? No, no, no, you stay.
I'm fine.
693
00:28:09,756 --> 00:28:12,192
??? You sure?
??? Uh, she's sure.
694
00:28:12,192 --> 00:28:14,094
When you brought ice dildos
into this conversation,
695
00:28:14,094 --> 00:28:15,629
you made a commitment
to this night.
696
00:28:15,629 --> 00:28:17,130
[laughter]
697
00:28:17,130 --> 00:28:19,499
??? This takes me back, man.
You want to go back?
698
00:28:19,499 --> 00:28:21,768
[chuckles]
699
00:28:21,768 --> 00:28:25,105
What?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
700
00:28:25,105 --> 00:28:28,108
??? You feel it, Sheriff?
??? Ah...
701
00:28:28,108 --> 00:28:31,144
??? You want to feel it?
??? Oh, Lord, have mercy.
702
00:28:31,144 --> 00:28:32,679
??? Aw, come on.
Dance with the girl.
703
00:28:32,679 --> 00:28:33,780
??? Is that what you call it?
704
00:28:33,780 --> 00:28:36,149
Hey, don't be pushing me
off the stool.
705
00:28:36,149 --> 00:28:39,052
What's wrong with you? Okay.
All right, yeah, go ahead.
706
00:28:39,052 --> 00:28:41,555
??? Hey, hon, you, uh??????you
heading home to pay the sitter?
707
00:28:41,555 --> 00:28:45,225
??? Nope, you pay her.
We are going to the yacht spot.
708
00:28:45,225 --> 00:28:47,761
??? [chuckles]
??? Ooh.
709
00:28:47,761 --> 00:28:51,098
??? I cannot wait
for the re???election campaign.
710
00:28:51,098 --> 00:28:53,400
It's??????Respect, okay?
711
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,269
??? We're so proud of you.
??? I'm really proud of you.
712
00:28:55,269 --> 00:28:57,604
??? Do you need??????do you need ice
in that drink?
713
00:28:57,604 --> 00:29:00,440
??? Oh, yeah.
[laughing]
714
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:04,077
??? Tell me more about the guy
who does the rice thing.
715
00:29:04,077 --> 00:29:07,514
[upbeat hip???hop music]
716
00:29:07,514 --> 00:29:14,588
? ?
717
00:29:25,566 --> 00:29:29,636
[reggae music]
718
00:29:29,636 --> 00:29:36,743
? ?
719
00:29:36,743 --> 00:29:39,446
??? You remember
class camping trips out here?
720
00:29:39,446 --> 00:29:41,348
??? [chuckles] Yes.
721
00:29:41,348 --> 00:29:44,585
Third grade,
D'arcy rolling in poison ivy...
722
00:29:44,585 --> 00:29:46,620
on a dare.
??? [chuckles]
723
00:29:46,620 --> 00:29:48,622
We had to take turns
itching her.
724
00:29:48,622 --> 00:29:51,325
[laughter]
??? Oh, my God.
725
00:29:51,325 --> 00:29:53,460
Oh.
726
00:29:53,460 --> 00:29:56,330
She's always been so her.
727
00:29:56,330 --> 00:29:58,398
She's free.
728
00:29:58,398 --> 00:30:00,667
Not everyone can be like that.
729
00:30:02,035 --> 00:30:05,005
??? Everyone loves her.
730
00:30:05,005 --> 00:30:07,708
It's a superpower...
731
00:30:07,708 --> 00:30:10,644
not caring what anyone thinks.
732
00:30:12,479 --> 00:30:14,214
??? Everyone loves you, too.
733
00:30:14,214 --> 00:30:17,584
??? Yes, but it's only
because I'm nice.
734
00:30:17,584 --> 00:30:19,086
??? [scoffs]
735
00:30:19,086 --> 00:30:21,088
You gave me a ticket once
736
00:30:21,088 --> 00:30:23,090
for locking my bike
to a stop sign.
737
00:30:23,090 --> 00:30:25,792
You're not that nice.
[both chuckle]
738
00:30:25,792 --> 00:30:29,496
? ?
739
00:30:29,496 --> 00:30:32,466
[both trilling tongue goofily]
740
00:30:32,466 --> 00:30:35,068
? ?
741
00:30:35,068 --> 00:30:37,538
[music skipping]
??? Oh, Christ on a cracker!
742
00:30:37,538 --> 00:30:39,072
??? What?
??? No!
743
00:30:39,072 --> 00:30:40,207
??? No!
[all groan]
744
00:30:40,207 --> 00:30:42,643
??? Oh, relax,
you complete degenerates.
745
00:30:42,643 --> 00:30:45,746
I keep a battery charger
in my trunk!
746
00:30:45,746 --> 00:30:48,448
[all booing]
??? Poop car! Poop car!
747
00:30:48,448 --> 00:30:52,052
??? Oh, Liv, I can't believe you
still drive this death trap.
748
00:30:52,052 --> 00:30:54,421
??? Oh, it's fine.
I'm used to it.
749
00:30:54,421 --> 00:30:57,424
??? You know, I read recently
that they make new cars now.
750
00:30:57,424 --> 00:31:01,595
??? [chuckles] John wants
a new riding mower,
751
00:31:01,595 --> 00:31:04,097
and we have money
set aside for that, so...
752
00:31:04,097 --> 00:31:05,766
??? John's getting
a new riding mower
753
00:31:05,766 --> 00:31:07,601
before you get a car
that actually works?
754
00:31:07,601 --> 00:31:09,069
??? Well, it was my idea.
755
00:31:09,069 --> 00:31:10,737
He makes more than I do,
so it's fair.
756
00:31:10,737 --> 00:31:13,373
??? Hold up.
John makes more than you?
757
00:31:13,373 --> 00:31:15,142
I do what John does.
758
00:31:15,142 --> 00:31:17,110
You put your life
on the line every day.
759
00:31:17,110 --> 00:31:20,514
When??????when's the last time
you got a raise?
760
00:31:20,514 --> 00:31:22,683
??? I've never gotten a raise.
761
00:31:22,683 --> 00:31:24,451
??? What?
all: Oh.
762
00:31:24,451 --> 00:31:27,154
??? Okay, no, no.
??? Wow.
763
00:31:27,154 --> 00:31:29,423
??? [whispering] I'm not sure
this is a good idea.
764
00:31:29,423 --> 00:31:32,059
??? Oh, it's not,
but we're doing it anyway.
765
00:31:32,059 --> 00:31:33,327
??? As a city employee,
766
00:31:33,327 --> 00:31:35,329
your salary is part
of the town's budget.
767
00:31:35,329 --> 00:31:38,165
So we got to figure out
how big is this pie
768
00:31:38,165 --> 00:31:40,200
and why is your piece
so goddamn small.
769
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,136
??? [gasps] Especially when
you're a freakin' Picasso.
770
00:31:43,136 --> 00:31:45,606
[person gasps]
Did you draw this picture?
771
00:31:45,606 --> 00:31:48,342
??? Yeah, I draw police
composites of criminals,
772
00:31:48,342 --> 00:31:49,610
which we are now.
773
00:31:49,610 --> 00:31:52,779
??? Hey! This is my
husband's office, okay?
774
00:31:52,779 --> 00:31:54,581
We can be wherever we want.
775
00:31:54,581 --> 00:31:57,351
??? We didn't technically
break in, because we had a key.
776
00:31:57,351 --> 00:31:59,052
[liquid splashing]
777
00:31:59,052 --> 00:32:00,320
??? Judy!
??? Judy!
778
00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,156
??? Shh! Stop!
779
00:32:03,156 --> 00:32:04,491
??? Wait, found it, found it,
found it.
780
00:32:04,491 --> 00:32:08,028
"Civic Payroll for the Town
of Patience, Colorado."
781
00:32:08,028 --> 00:32:09,329
??? No one's gonna know.
782
00:32:09,329 --> 00:32:10,564
??? As a woman in this world,
783
00:32:10,564 --> 00:32:13,534
you need to fight
for what you deserve.
784
00:32:13,534 --> 00:32:17,304
And you deserve
a goddamn raise.
785
00:32:17,304 --> 00:32:21,008
Ugh. Jesus Christ!
Who's Peter Jignac?
786
00:32:21,008 --> 00:32:23,410
??? I think he's, um,
a crossing guard, I think.
787
00:32:23,410 --> 00:32:25,345
??? He makes enough for a new
riding mower and a new car.
788
00:32:25,345 --> 00:32:26,647
??? What?
789
00:32:26,647 --> 00:32:29,082
??? Who's Brandon Touter?
??? Oh.
790
00:32:29,082 --> 00:32:30,651
He's the new science teacher.
791
00:32:30,651 --> 00:32:32,586
He's actually
a really nice guy.
792
00:32:32,586 --> 00:32:34,354
??? Well, he makes twice
what you do.
793
00:32:34,354 --> 00:32:36,557
??? [gasps]
??? Prick.
794
00:32:36,557 --> 00:32:38,492
??? What? Weren't you a lawyer?
795
00:32:38,492 --> 00:32:41,328
??? I have a JD/PhD.
What the ?????????????
796
00:32:41,328 --> 00:32:44,464
??? Who the hell is in charge
of this budget?
797
00:32:44,464 --> 00:32:46,266
??? I know who.
798
00:32:46,266 --> 00:32:48,435
He lives in my goddamn house.
??? [gasps]
799
00:32:48,435 --> 00:32:51,638
??? ? For all the ones
who bum me out ?
800
00:32:51,638 --> 00:32:53,373
??? ? Shit list ?
801
00:32:53,373 --> 00:32:55,709
??? ? For all the ones who fill
my head with doubt ?
802
00:32:55,709 --> 00:32:57,277
??? ? Shit list ?
803
00:32:57,277 --> 00:32:59,446
??? ? For all the squares
who get me pissed ?
804
00:32:59,446 --> 00:33:00,614
??? ? Shit list ?
805
00:33:00,614 --> 00:33:03,317
??? ? You've made my shit list ?
806
00:33:03,317 --> 00:33:08,455
? Shit list ?
807
00:33:08,455 --> 00:33:13,293
? ?
808
00:33:13,293 --> 00:33:14,394
??? [inhales sharply]
809
00:33:14,394 --> 00:33:16,797
[shouts] Kidnappers!
810
00:33:16,797 --> 00:33:19,266
[person chuckles]
??? Oh, no. Oh, no. Nope.
811
00:33:19,266 --> 00:33:20,734
??? Wake up.
812
00:33:20,734 --> 00:33:22,703
??? You're not having
a nightmare, Ben. We are.
813
00:33:22,703 --> 00:33:24,204
??? You know what's a nightmare?
814
00:33:24,204 --> 00:33:26,773
Getting paid 76 cents
on the dollar.
815
00:33:26,773 --> 00:33:27,674
??? What?
816
00:33:27,674 --> 00:33:29,209
??? Yeah, there is
a blatant pay gap
817
00:33:29,209 --> 00:33:31,612
between the male and female
employees of this town.
818
00:33:31,612 --> 00:33:34,581
??? What? No, a???a???as mayor,
I only sign off on budgets??????
819
00:33:34,581 --> 00:33:36,783
??? A???a???as mayor,
you need to fix this!
820
00:33:36,783 --> 00:33:38,085
??? Mm???hmm.
821
00:33:38,085 --> 00:33:39,586
??? Yeah, the blatant sexism
makes me sick.
822
00:33:39,586 --> 00:33:41,188
??? Yeah, damn right.
??? Sick.
823
00:33:41,188 --> 00:33:42,489
??? Oh, honey.
??? It's really gross.
824
00:33:42,489 --> 00:33:43,557
??? Sick to my stomach.
??? No, no.
825
00:33:43,557 --> 00:33:45,692
??? Oh.
??? Oh, God, no.
826
00:33:45,692 --> 00:33:48,395
??? [retching]
??? Oh.
827
00:33:48,395 --> 00:33:50,097
??? You're my best friend.
828
00:33:50,097 --> 00:33:51,665
??? That's right.
??? I love you.
829
00:33:51,665 --> 00:33:53,367
??? You see that?
??? It's coming up.
830
00:33:53,367 --> 00:33:55,669
[coughing]
831
00:33:55,669 --> 00:33:57,237
??? [groans]
??? It hurts.
832
00:33:59,473 --> 00:34:01,275
[knock at door]
833
00:34:01,275 --> 00:34:03,076
??? Harry.
834
00:34:03,076 --> 00:34:05,078
I brought coffee.
835
00:34:05,078 --> 00:34:06,613
[groans]
836
00:34:06,613 --> 00:34:09,316
We're gonna need to make a plan
about that radio??????
837
00:34:09,316 --> 00:34:11,084
Oh, God!
838
00:34:11,084 --> 00:34:13,353
No! Don't tell me
you hooked up with Harry.
839
00:34:13,353 --> 00:34:15,389
??? Okay, I will not.
840
00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:22,095
??? Wait.
841
00:34:22,095 --> 00:34:25,098
[quirky music]
842
00:34:25,098 --> 00:34:32,039
? ?
843
00:34:33,473 --> 00:34:35,409
Harry?
??? Hi, Asta.
844
00:34:35,409 --> 00:34:38,078
??? Oh, God! Shit!
845
00:34:38,078 --> 00:34:39,780
??? You have to come with me
to New Mexico,
846
00:34:39,780 --> 00:34:42,182
but, first, can you teach me
how to pee?
847
00:34:55,696 --> 00:34:58,665
??? She hasn't blinked
the entire trip. [dramatic music]
848
00:34:58,665 --> 00:35:00,801
? ?
849
00:35:00,801 --> 00:35:03,770
Oh, this is wrong, Harry.
850
00:35:03,770 --> 00:35:07,107
? ?
851
00:35:07,107 --> 00:35:08,609
Ooh.
852
00:35:08,609 --> 00:35:11,044
Ah!
Wrong and super weird.
853
00:35:11,044 --> 00:35:13,213
??? It was your idea for me
to become her.
854
00:35:13,213 --> 00:35:16,016
??? No, no, no, no, no,
do not put this on me.
855
00:35:16,016 --> 00:35:17,784
I would never tell you
to take over a woman's body
856
00:35:17,784 --> 00:35:19,486
without her consent.
857
00:35:19,486 --> 00:35:21,688
??? She wanted me to take over
her body last night
858
00:35:21,688 --> 00:35:24,625
with my penis,
but I did not do that.
859
00:35:24,625 --> 00:35:26,693
??? Oh, God, no.
860
00:35:26,693 --> 00:35:29,630
It's not just
about her body, okay?
861
00:35:29,630 --> 00:35:32,065
It's a whole life
we're invading.
862
00:35:32,065 --> 00:35:34,168
There has to be a better way.
863
00:35:34,168 --> 00:35:36,703
??? To access a microsatellite
network in time
864
00:35:36,703 --> 00:35:39,072
to tell my people
not to come here
865
00:35:39,072 --> 00:35:43,076
and melt you all like crayons
in a hot car?
866
00:35:43,076 --> 00:35:44,478
I'll wait.
867
00:35:44,478 --> 00:35:46,580
??? [sighs]
Shit.
868
00:35:46,580 --> 00:35:49,550
Shit. Shit.
869
00:35:49,550 --> 00:35:52,519
??? Right here?
??? No, no, Harry.
870
00:35:52,519 --> 00:35:54,755
Let's just get this over with.
871
00:35:54,755 --> 00:35:56,356
That's what you were wearing
last night,
872
00:35:56,356 --> 00:35:58,458
so you have to go change
before you get to the lab.
873
00:35:58,458 --> 00:36:01,161
??? This body is quite stout.
874
00:36:01,161 --> 00:36:02,629
??? Hurry.
875
00:36:02,629 --> 00:36:04,464
??? Fine.
876
00:36:04,464 --> 00:36:06,266
??? This doesn't make any sense.
877
00:36:06,266 --> 00:36:07,568
This says plasma levels
878
00:36:07,568 --> 00:36:10,204
of testosterone
and triiodothyronine
879
00:36:10,204 --> 00:36:12,239
were diminished
after space flight,
880
00:36:12,239 --> 00:36:14,575
but it seems like
your testosterone levels
881
00:36:14,575 --> 00:36:16,443
are getting higher.
882
00:36:16,443 --> 00:36:17,744
What am I missing?
883
00:36:17,744 --> 00:36:21,615
I mean, do you feel like
it's accelerating?
884
00:36:21,615 --> 00:36:24,585
[smooth music]
885
00:36:24,585 --> 00:36:28,455
? ?
886
00:36:28,455 --> 00:36:30,724
Why are you looking
at me like that?
887
00:36:30,724 --> 00:36:32,993
??? Hello, pretty lady.
888
00:36:34,161 --> 00:36:36,496
??? Oh, no!
889
00:36:36,496 --> 00:36:38,365
??? So is this it now?
890
00:36:38,365 --> 00:36:40,467
You're just gonna change
into different people
891
00:36:40,467 --> 00:36:41,602
whenever you want?
892
00:36:41,602 --> 00:36:43,637
??? Under normal circumstances,
893
00:36:43,637 --> 00:36:46,206
it is too difficult
to do often,
894
00:36:46,206 --> 00:36:48,575
but the energy balls
from my ship
895
00:36:48,575 --> 00:36:51,044
make it effortless,
896
00:36:51,044 --> 00:36:54,681
and they work on the organic
matter in clothing as well.
897
00:36:54,681 --> 00:36:57,017
Except I think it got
my bra size wrong.
898
00:36:57,017 --> 00:36:59,786
The wire leaves dents
in my skin.
899
00:36:59,786 --> 00:37:03,190
??? Yeah, well, wait until
you put on a thong.
900
00:37:03,190 --> 00:37:06,193
[dramatic music]
901
00:37:06,193 --> 00:37:09,530
? ?
902
00:37:09,530 --> 00:37:13,400
[device beeping]
903
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:20,474
? ?
904
00:37:25,112 --> 00:37:27,114
[device beeps]
905
00:37:27,114 --> 00:37:34,087
? ?
906
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:42,629
??? Oh, yes.
907
00:37:42,629 --> 00:37:47,734
? ?
908
00:37:47,734 --> 00:37:51,638
??? Working late,
Carlyn, my darlin'?
909
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:56,043
??? I'm just trying to...
910
00:37:56,043 --> 00:37:59,213
bring home
the salt???cured pork slices.
911
00:37:59,213 --> 00:38:01,014
[grunts]
912
00:38:01,014 --> 00:38:02,749
Good night.
913
00:38:02,749 --> 00:38:07,187
??? Why don't you stick around
for a bit?
914
00:38:07,187 --> 00:38:10,390
[Diplomats of Solid Sound's
"No Man"]
915
00:38:10,390 --> 00:38:14,328
??? ? I think you got it all
figured out ?
916
00:38:14,328 --> 00:38:19,499
??? [choking]
??? ? But you ain't got a clue ?
917
00:38:19,499 --> 00:38:22,202
??? Aah!
918
00:38:22,202 --> 00:38:26,039
[screaming]
919
00:38:26,039 --> 00:38:29,042
??? ? When's gonna be the time
I say enough is enough? ?
920
00:38:29,042 --> 00:38:30,677
??? [screaming]
921
00:38:30,677 --> 00:38:32,779
??? ? I ain't nobody's sucker ?
922
00:38:32,779 --> 00:38:36,083
? Nobody's gonna stand
in my way ?
923
00:38:42,422 --> 00:38:49,396
[music]
? ?
924
00:38:49,396 --> 00:38:51,598
??? Are you sure she's not
gonna feel any different?
925
00:38:51,598 --> 00:38:53,233
??? [sighs]
926
00:38:53,233 --> 00:38:55,002
??? I mean, what does she think
happened to her
927
00:38:55,002 --> 00:38:56,203
in the last 24 hours?
928
00:38:56,203 --> 00:38:58,438
??? She will remember
going to sleep
929
00:38:58,438 --> 00:39:02,075
at Mayor Snowflake's house,
driving home in the morning,
930
00:39:02,075 --> 00:39:04,311
and then having a pleasant nap
on the couch.
931
00:39:04,311 --> 00:39:07,014
??? Long nap.
932
00:39:07,014 --> 00:39:09,349
??? She likes long naps.
933
00:39:09,349 --> 00:39:12,586
And it is better than being
awake for her real life.
934
00:39:12,586 --> 00:39:15,656
Her boss is a bad man.
935
00:39:15,656 --> 00:39:17,491
??? Yeah, she said
something about that.
936
00:39:17,491 --> 00:39:21,662
??? Mm.
He will not bother her again.
937
00:39:21,662 --> 00:39:23,163
??? What did you do?
938
00:39:23,163 --> 00:39:25,499
??? The same thing
you would have done...
939
00:39:25,499 --> 00:39:28,669
if you had
the strength of six gorillas.
940
00:39:28,669 --> 00:39:31,004
I am glad
to be out of her body.
941
00:39:31,004 --> 00:39:33,574
People treated it
like break???room yogurt.
942
00:39:33,574 --> 00:39:34,741
??? [scoffs]
943
00:39:34,741 --> 00:39:37,010
??? Even though her name
was on it,
944
00:39:37,010 --> 00:39:38,745
they felt comfortable
molesting it
945
00:39:38,745 --> 00:39:41,348
when they were hungry.
946
00:39:41,348 --> 00:39:43,383
It is awful being short.
947
00:39:43,383 --> 00:39:46,053
??? Harry, that's not
because she's short.
948
00:39:46,053 --> 00:39:49,556
That's being a woman.
Welcome to our world.
949
00:39:49,556 --> 00:39:54,561
??? You mean you all feel
the eyes hunting you
950
00:39:54,561 --> 00:39:57,731
like a baby deer in the woods,
just walking down the street?
951
00:39:57,731 --> 00:39:59,466
??? Yeah. I tried to tell you.
952
00:39:59,466 --> 00:40:03,770
You know, next time a woman
tries to tell you something,
953
00:40:03,770 --> 00:40:06,406
sit down, shut up, and listen.
954
00:40:06,406 --> 00:40:08,642
And if you feel the need
to say anything,
955
00:40:08,642 --> 00:40:12,045
all it needs
to be is, "Yes, ma'am."
956
00:40:12,045 --> 00:40:15,048
[steady music]
957
00:40:15,048 --> 00:40:22,155
? ?
958
00:40:32,633 --> 00:40:36,203
??? Yes. Yes.
959
00:40:36,203 --> 00:40:38,472
Mm.
960
00:40:38,472 --> 00:40:40,073
Yes!
961
00:40:40,073 --> 00:40:43,076
[knock at door]
962
00:40:43,076 --> 00:40:46,513
[dramatic music]
963
00:40:46,513 --> 00:40:53,520
? ?
964
00:40:53,520 --> 00:40:56,089
??? Sit down, space man.
965
00:40:56,089 --> 00:41:02,062
? ?
966
00:41:04,331 --> 00:41:05,732
Sit!
967
00:41:07,334 --> 00:41:09,102
I know all about
your silver balls.
968
00:41:09,102 --> 00:41:11,205
I know Max stole one,
and that's why he's been acting
969
00:41:11,205 --> 00:41:13,407
like springtime lions
in those nature videos,
970
00:41:13,407 --> 00:41:16,476
but I also know
you knew he had a ball
971
00:41:16,476 --> 00:41:18,345
and did nothing to stop him.
972
00:41:18,345 --> 00:41:20,781
Guess what. You're not getting
your ball back.
973
00:41:20,781 --> 00:41:22,749
I've hidden it
where you'll never find it,
974
00:41:22,749 --> 00:41:24,551
and I'm guessing now
that it's gone,
975
00:41:24,551 --> 00:41:26,453
Max will go back to normal.
976
00:41:26,453 --> 00:41:30,724
And if he doesn't,
you are going to hear from me.
977
00:41:30,724 --> 00:41:32,192
Do you understand?
978
00:41:34,328 --> 00:41:35,696
??? Yes, ma'am.
979
00:41:35,696 --> 00:41:40,300
? ?
980
00:41:40,300 --> 00:41:42,469
??? Good.
981
00:41:42,469 --> 00:41:46,440
??? Humans believe they
all deserve certain rights??????
982
00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:50,711
the right to be heard,
the right to be respected.
983
00:41:50,711 --> 00:41:54,381
Asking for what you deserve
in life should not be so hard,
984
00:41:54,381 --> 00:41:55,682
but for others,
985
00:41:55,682 --> 00:41:58,685
asking for what they deserve
can be very difficult.
986
00:41:58,685 --> 00:42:01,221
? ?
987
00:42:01,221 --> 00:42:04,191
[horn honks]
??? Hey, D'arce!
988
00:42:04,191 --> 00:42:06,226
??? Okay!
Yes, girl!
989
00:42:06,226 --> 00:42:08,662
??? What do you think?
??? Wow, very fancy, girl!
990
00:42:08,662 --> 00:42:10,030
Get your things!
991
00:42:10,030 --> 00:42:11,632
??? Thank you!
??? Okay.
992
00:42:11,632 --> 00:42:13,767
[chuckles]
993
00:42:15,502 --> 00:42:20,174
??? Posting flyers is against
Patience civil code 1???8???22.
994
00:42:20,174 --> 00:42:21,341
??? [scoffs]
995
00:42:21,341 --> 00:42:23,210
??? And actually getting
what they deserve
996
00:42:23,210 --> 00:42:26,280
sometimes requires
an act of heroism.
997
00:42:28,348 --> 00:42:31,418
[Ahmad Jamal's
"Suicide is Painless"]
998
00:42:31,418 --> 00:42:38,358
? ?
999
00:42:44,498 --> 00:42:47,201
??? Whoo! Ha!
1000
00:42:47,201 --> 00:42:49,770
??? Women of Patience,
have patience no more!
1001
00:42:49,770 --> 00:42:52,506
We demand equal pay!
1002
00:42:52,506 --> 00:42:54,775
[people cheering]
1003
00:42:54,775 --> 00:42:58,312
Way to go, D'arce!
1004
00:42:58,312 --> 00:43:05,252
? ?
1005
00:43:09,756 --> 00:43:11,358
??? [chuckles]
1006
00:43:11,358 --> 00:43:13,594
Wow, it's D'arcy.
1007
00:43:13,594 --> 00:43:17,564
? ?
1008
00:43:17,564 --> 00:43:20,767
God, she is incredible,
don't you think?
1009
00:43:20,767 --> 00:43:23,470
??? Honey, there's something
I got to tell you.
1010
00:43:23,470 --> 00:43:27,474
? ?
1011
00:43:27,474 --> 00:43:29,209
??? What is it?
1012
00:43:29,209 --> 00:43:31,612
? ?
1013
00:43:31,612 --> 00:43:33,680
??? I'm gonna have a word
with the town assembly
1014
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:36,350
and fix this pay gap.
1015
00:43:36,350 --> 00:43:38,452
??? Yeah, you are.
1016
00:43:38,452 --> 00:43:40,087
Wow.
1017
00:43:40,087 --> 00:43:43,357
Way to be assertive, honey.
1018
00:43:43,357 --> 00:43:44,725
It's very sexy.
1019
00:43:44,725 --> 00:43:52,065
? ?
1020
00:43:53,305 --> 00:44:53,208
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1021
00:44:55,208 --> 00:45:03,208
Napisy pobrane i przetworzone programem QNapi
http://qnapi.github.io
68443
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