Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,525 --> 00:00:06,528
ADULT SHELDON:
Not all science
is created equal.
2
00:00:06,571 --> 00:00:09,705
There's physics, the undisputed king of science.
3
00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:11,489
There's chemistry.
It's no physics,
4
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:13,926
but it's not a bad way
to pass a rainy afternoon.
5
00:00:13,970 --> 00:00:16,059
And then there's biology,
6
00:00:16,103 --> 00:00:18,061
the squishiest of the sciences.
7
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,628
Ugh!
8
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:22,500
Once you have deposited
enough saliva
9
00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,588
in the blue
Benedict's solution,
10
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,764
we'll mix it
11
00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:27,157
in the centrifuge.
12
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:29,290
After that, we'll pass it
through the spectrometer
13
00:00:29,333 --> 00:00:31,901
to measure
how much glucose is present.
14
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:34,338
And won't that be a party?
15
00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:35,383
Sheldon.
16
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:45,306
[whirring]
17
00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:47,743
[hissing, clanging]
18
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:54,141
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
19
00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:56,186
It's warm. Oh, dear.
20
00:00:57,448 --> 00:01:00,321
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
21
00:01:00,364 --> 00:01:03,193
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
22
00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:05,717
♪ I bet I could be your hero
23
00:01:05,761 --> 00:01:08,111
♪ I am a mighty little man
24
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:12,420
♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
25
00:01:16,685 --> 00:01:18,469
And then there was some
extra money in the budget,
26
00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:20,210
so I was able to order
those tackling dummies
27
00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:21,733
I had my eye on.
28
00:01:21,777 --> 00:01:23,648
I don't understand
why the football program gets
29
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,650
so much money, while
the equipment in the science lab
30
00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:27,652
is outdated and falling apart.
31
00:01:27,696 --> 00:01:28,871
Oh, I can explain that.
32
00:01:28,914 --> 00:01:30,133
This is Texas.
33
00:01:30,177 --> 00:01:31,134
Pass the ribs.
34
00:01:31,178 --> 00:01:32,135
Well, it's not fair.
35
00:01:32,179 --> 00:01:33,180
It's a school.
36
00:01:33,223 --> 00:01:35,007
Education should be
their priority.
37
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:36,618
All right, I'll
explain it again...
38
00:01:36,661 --> 00:01:37,967
MEEMAW: I think
Shelly's got a point.
39
00:01:38,010 --> 00:01:40,274
The school is supposed
to prepare these kids
40
00:01:40,317 --> 00:01:41,666
for the future.
How many of 'em
41
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:44,104
are gonna be
professional football players?
42
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:45,670
No one at this table.
43
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:48,543
But how many of 'em
are gonna be scientists?
44
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:49,805
I know.
45
00:01:49,848 --> 00:01:52,373
George, isn't there
a way they can take some
46
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:54,375
of the football money
and spend it on science?
47
00:01:54,418 --> 00:01:56,812
Really?
I need to explain it again?
48
00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,727
You know, Moon Pie, in the '60s,
when the hippies wanted
49
00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:01,251
to change things,
they would just protest.
50
00:02:01,295 --> 00:02:03,035
You were a hippie?Oh, no.
51
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:05,429
But I wrote a letter
complaining about the hippies,
52
00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,649
and the police chased 'em
right out of that park.
53
00:02:07,692 --> 00:02:09,129
So my point is...
54
00:02:09,172 --> 00:02:11,174
maybe you could write a letter.
55
00:02:11,218 --> 00:02:13,568
Ooh! Maybe I can lodge
a formal complaint
56
00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:15,744
with the school board about
the sports budget infringing
57
00:02:15,787 --> 00:02:17,093
on the other departments.
58
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,225
Okay, last time:
59
00:02:18,268 --> 00:02:19,748
Canada,
60
00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:21,576
the other states,
61
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,404
us.
62
00:02:25,275 --> 00:02:27,016
[indistinct chatter]
63
00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:31,020
[shouts][shouts]
64
00:02:31,063 --> 00:02:33,196
What are you doing,
standing there?
65
00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:35,372
I wrote a formal complaint
letter to the school board
66
00:02:35,416 --> 00:02:37,461
on how much money is
spent on football.
67
00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,724
I was hoping you could
deliver it to them.
68
00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:41,639
You do realize
your father's a coach here.
69
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:43,119
Yes, sir, I do.
70
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,990
Maybe you ought to talk to him
about this first.
71
00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:46,035
I did.
72
00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:47,906
He didn't care
for the idea at all.
73
00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:50,257
Well, there you go.
74
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,128
There I go what?
75
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,826
Let me see that.
76
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,698
[sighs]
77
00:02:56,741 --> 00:02:59,918
"Barbaric sport...
encourages bloodlust similar
78
00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:01,790
"to Roman gladiator
games...
79
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,879
"Christians, lions...
80
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:06,229
money better spent
on science and learning."
81
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,231
You're joking, right?
82
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:10,755
Did you see the word "bazinga"
anywhere in that letter?
83
00:03:14,716 --> 00:03:16,021
Out.
84
00:03:16,065 --> 00:03:18,937
I'll just have to go
over his head.
85
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,247
President Cooper.
86
00:03:24,291 --> 00:03:26,118
That's serendipitous.
87
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:28,817
Hello.
88
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,253
[gasps][shouts]
89
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,733
What?
90
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:34,388
I understand that you're
in charge of student elections.
91
00:03:34,431 --> 00:03:35,824
[exhales]
92
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:36,955
I am.
93
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:39,175
I'd like to run
for class president.
94
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,829
Really?
95
00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,396
Really.
96
00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:44,180
Okay.
97
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,922
You can sign up,
but I have to warn you--
98
00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:49,968
you'll be running
against Nell Cavanaugh.
99
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,056
So?
100
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:53,798
She's well-liked
by the student body.
101
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:55,278
So?
102
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:58,412
These elections tend to be a
bit of a popularity contest.
103
00:03:58,455 --> 00:04:01,284
So?
You're gonna make
me say it, huh?
104
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:02,503
Say what?
105
00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:04,505
People don't like you.
106
00:04:04,548 --> 00:04:07,116
Well, as my meemaw likes to say,
water off a duck's back.
107
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,336
Elections shouldn't be
about popularity.
108
00:04:09,379 --> 00:04:11,947
They should be about who has
the best ideas.
109
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,254
And what's your idea?
110
00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:15,646
Less money on football,
111
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:17,039
more on science.
112
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:20,085
Really.
113
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,740
Guess what. I'm running
for class president.
114
00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:24,307
Good for you.
115
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:25,917
You're encouraging him?
116
00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:27,745
He's gonna get destroyed.
117
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,051
You don't know that.
118
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:30,748
I feel like I do.
119
00:04:30,792 --> 00:04:32,750
Well, whether you win or not,
120
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:34,709
I think it's great
that you're trying.
121
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,711
But you think I'll win, right?
122
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:41,106
God's listening, Mom.
123
00:04:41,150 --> 00:04:43,108
I think it's
certainly possible.
124
00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:45,067
Do you have a campaign strategy?
125
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:45,894
No.
126
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:47,635
Do you have a catchy slogan?
127
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:48,636
No.
128
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:49,898
Does he have a shot at winning?
129
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:50,942
No.
130
00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:56,774
Hello, I'd like to speak
to the mayor, please.
131
00:04:56,818 --> 00:04:57,775
My name is Sheldon Cooper.
132
00:04:57,819 --> 00:04:59,211
I'm running for class president
133
00:04:59,255 --> 00:05:02,606
and was hoping
he could give me some advice.
134
00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:03,825
I'm ten years old.
135
00:05:03,868 --> 00:05:05,348
But if it helps get him
on the phone,
136
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,481
I'm well-behaved,
a straight-A student,
137
00:05:07,524 --> 00:05:09,831
and have impeccable hygiene.
138
00:05:09,874 --> 00:05:10,788
[beep]Hello.
139
00:05:10,832 --> 00:05:12,616
This is Mayor Harrison.
140
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:15,184
I understand
you are running for office.
141
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:16,577
Class president.
142
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,666
Do you have any advice
on how to win?
143
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,842
The most important thing
is to get out there
144
00:05:20,885 --> 00:05:22,365
and connect with people.
145
00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,019
That's tricky.
146
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,760
I'm not terribly fond of people.
147
00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:27,849
Well, you might need
to get over that.
148
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:29,111
Assuming I can,
149
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:30,852
how do I connect with them?
150
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,854
A friendly handshake
is a great start.
151
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:33,855
Oh, boy.
152
00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:36,031
Now I have to touch them?
153
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,033
ADULT SHELDON:
Over the next few days,
154
00:05:38,076 --> 00:05:40,035
I mounted my campaign.
155
00:05:40,078 --> 00:05:42,907
My name is Sheldon Cooper, and
I'm running for class president.
156
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:43,865
Okay.
157
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:45,910
Put her there.
158
00:05:47,564 --> 00:05:48,870
Greetings, fellow students.
159
00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:50,611
I'm running for class president.
160
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:53,048
Here's a button.
161
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:55,659
Have a grown-up put them on you.
162
00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,008
They're sharp.
163
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:58,270
Hello.
164
00:05:58,314 --> 00:05:59,359
I'm Sheldon Cooper,
165
00:05:59,402 --> 00:06:01,099
and I'm running
for class president.
166
00:06:01,143 --> 00:06:02,536
Yeah?I understand
167
00:06:02,579 --> 00:06:04,059
you had a baby last year.
168
00:06:04,102 --> 00:06:06,104
If you bring it in,
I'll try to kiss it.
169
00:06:14,156 --> 00:06:15,157
Vote Sheldon
for class president.
170
00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,725
Vote Sheldon
for class president.
171
00:06:17,768 --> 00:06:21,163
Vote Sheldon for
class president.
172
00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:23,165
Don't worry--
it's a number two.
173
00:06:23,208 --> 00:06:24,862
You can use it on
standardized tests.
174
00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:26,473
Okay.
175
00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:27,430
And, of course, homework.
176
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:30,390
I love homework.
177
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,783
Well, it's so nice
to finally meet you.
178
00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:33,915
I'm Nell Cavanaugh.
179
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:35,482
My opponent.
180
00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:38,136
I would shake your hand, but
my mom is washing my mittens.
181
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:40,051
Okay.
182
00:06:40,095 --> 00:06:41,792
[chuckles]
183
00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,054
She was really nice.
184
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:45,187
She even said, "May
the best student win."
185
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,362
That's sweet.
186
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,059
This was a great idea.
187
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:50,453
Children like cupcakes,
and, by giving them cupcakes,
188
00:06:50,497 --> 00:06:52,716
they'll transfer
that affinity to me.
189
00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,980
That's another way
of looking at it.
190
00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:58,940
By that reasoning, a rich person
could simply buy people's votes.
191
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:00,855
It's been known to happen.
192
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:01,812
Until my ship comes in,
193
00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,814
I guess it's cupcakes.
194
00:07:03,858 --> 00:07:06,034
Georgie, check it out.
195
00:07:06,077 --> 00:07:08,036
Oh, man, I hate
that he's doing this.
196
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,820
What? It's cute.
197
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,169
It's embarrassing.
198
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,607
I would think
you'd be proud of him.
199
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:16,044
That's 'cause you're
a better person than me.
200
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:18,786
Maybe you ought to ask God
to take away your anger
201
00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:20,178
and replace it with love.
202
00:07:20,222 --> 00:07:22,703
Can I ask him to take away
my brother instead?
203
00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:24,052
Georgie.
204
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:25,532
Not kill him--
205
00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:27,621
just strand him
on an island somewhere.
206
00:07:28,665 --> 00:07:29,623
A nice island,
207
00:07:29,666 --> 00:07:31,451
with coconuts and stuff.
208
00:07:32,887 --> 00:07:34,889
[indistinct chatter]
209
00:07:38,632 --> 00:07:40,198
[chuckling]
210
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:49,599
Nell Cavanaugh,
211
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:52,863
it appears
we're taking the mittens off.
212
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:55,475
Well, that's unfortunate.
213
00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,041
Oh, this goes
well beyond unfortunate.
214
00:07:57,085 --> 00:07:58,652
It's flat-out unfair.
215
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:01,176
Did you not say that
you love homework?
216
00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:03,091
Of course I said it.
I say it all the time.
217
00:08:03,134 --> 00:08:06,181
But she took it out of context
and is using it against me.
218
00:08:06,224 --> 00:08:08,096
Well, that is what
happens in politics.
219
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,967
People stretch the truth.
220
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:11,708
Well, those people
are dirty dogs.
221
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:12,970
They certainly are.
222
00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:14,972
Now, let me ask you something.
223
00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,931
How bad do you want
to win this election?
224
00:08:16,974 --> 00:08:20,108
Bad enough to let
105 kids shake my mitten.
225
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,544
Okay, then you need
to toughen up.
226
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,981
Politics is not
for the weak-kneed.
227
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:26,636
Are you suggesting
that I fight fire with fire?
228
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,290
I am.
229
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:31,206
So going to my room and crying
in my pillow is not an option?
230
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:32,512
It is not.
231
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,994
Then I have some thinking to do.
232
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:39,954
MISSY:
Oh, yeah.
233
00:08:39,997 --> 00:08:40,955
You're screwed.
234
00:08:40,998 --> 00:08:42,957
Which is why I
need your help.
235
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,132
Why me?
236
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:45,220
You're ruthless.
237
00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,787
I've seen you cheat
at Candy Land.
238
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,963
Thanks. Go on.
239
00:08:49,006 --> 00:08:50,225
Well, I'd like to retaliate,
240
00:08:50,268 --> 00:08:52,053
but I don't know
anything about her.
241
00:08:52,096 --> 00:08:53,620
Make something up.
242
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:56,100
Ooh, tell people
she has head lice.
243
00:08:56,144 --> 00:08:58,102
I won't resort to lying.
244
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:01,410
There's a Denise Cavanaugh
in my class.
245
00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:03,151
Could be her little sister.
246
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,369
So?
247
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:05,588
I'll see if I can dig up
something about Nell
248
00:09:05,632 --> 00:09:06,981
you can use against her.
249
00:09:07,024 --> 00:09:08,765
Thank you.
250
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:11,289
Georgie, I hate
to have to ask this,
251
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,204
but are you going
to vote for me?
252
00:09:13,248 --> 00:09:14,554
No. Go away.
253
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:15,772
Are you sure?
254
00:09:15,816 --> 00:09:17,774
If I win, I can make
you a hall monitor.
255
00:09:17,818 --> 00:09:20,124
Imagine the respect
you'll get then.
256
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,778
Get lost.
257
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:31,527
GEORGE JR.: Lord, please take away my anger toward my stupid brother.
258
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,094
My life is hard enough.
259
00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,922
Don't let him be president.
260
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,706
And while we're talking,
261
00:09:36,750 --> 00:09:39,143
Veronica-- help me out.
262
00:09:39,187 --> 00:09:42,103
Encourage her to do something
with me she'll regret.
263
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:43,670
Amen.
264
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,672
[school bell rings]
265
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:47,282
Remember,
266
00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:50,154
tomorrow
we'll be dissecting worms!
267
00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:51,416
[groaning]
268
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:54,681
Ah, your sadness makes me happy.
269
00:09:54,724 --> 00:09:56,117
Mr. Givens,
I just wanted you to know
270
00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:57,901
that I'm still working hard
on my campaign
271
00:09:57,945 --> 00:10:00,121
to get more funding
for the science department.
272
00:10:00,164 --> 00:10:03,559
Oh, great, 'cause I've got to
dig up tomorrow's worms myself.
273
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,170
Anything you can do to help
me win a decisive victory
274
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:08,172
come Election Day
would be much appreciated.
275
00:10:08,216 --> 00:10:09,652
Oh, well, I'm sorry, Sheldon,
276
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:11,654
the faculty doesn't get involved
in student elections.
277
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,656
Oh, I understand.
278
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,050
You have to remain neutral.
Wink, wink.
279
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:18,269
I'm sorry, wink, wink?
280
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:20,968
You want new science equipment
and I want that for you.
281
00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:23,753
One hand washes the other.
Wink, wink.
282
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:26,495
Oh, sure, wink, wink.
283
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:29,193
Now you're getting it.
Wink, wink.
284
00:10:29,237 --> 00:10:31,282
Wink, wink.
285
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:32,283
Wink, wink.
286
00:10:32,327 --> 00:10:35,330
[sighs]
That kid creeps me out.
287
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:38,507
ADULT SHELDON:
Another hurdle in my political
career was glossophobia:
288
00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:40,204
fear of public speaking.
289
00:10:40,248 --> 00:10:43,294
I've been known to experience
dry mouth, perspiration,
290
00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:45,688
heart palpitations,
and fainting.
291
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,255
A similar response
to what I experience
292
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:48,952
around unleashed dogs. [line ringing]
293
00:10:48,996 --> 00:10:51,041
Hello, this is Sheldon Cooper.
294
00:10:51,085 --> 00:10:52,869
Can I please speak
with Pastor Jeff?
295
00:10:52,913 --> 00:10:55,742
PEG [over phone]:
Hold on. [coughing]
296
00:10:57,308 --> 00:10:59,093
Hey, Sheldon,
what can I do for you?
297
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,095
I need to give
a speech at school,
298
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:03,010
but I have a fear
of public speaking.
299
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:04,751
Since you give a sermon
every Sunday,
300
00:11:04,794 --> 00:11:06,709
I was hoping you'd have
some words of advice.
301
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:09,059
As a matter of fact, I do.
302
00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:12,584
When I look down on my
congregation and I feel nervous,
303
00:11:12,628 --> 00:11:15,544
I just ask the Lord
to speak through me.
304
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,546
Like a ventriloquist?
305
00:11:17,589 --> 00:11:19,113
Not exactly.
306
00:11:19,156 --> 00:11:20,723
I think of it more as a...
307
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:21,985
Like one of the Muppets?
308
00:11:22,029 --> 00:11:23,291
No, not that either.
309
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:25,336
'Cause you do look
a little like Kermit.
310
00:11:25,380 --> 00:11:27,861
Uh, okay, good luck to you,
Sheldon.
311
00:11:27,904 --> 00:11:29,863
Hello.
312
00:11:29,906 --> 00:11:32,169
Dr. Sturgis.
Can you give me any advice
313
00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:34,258
on how to overcome a fear
of public speaking?
314
00:11:34,302 --> 00:11:37,218
Ah, you know,
when I was a young man
315
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:40,874
I had a terrible fear
of speaking to an audience.
316
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,527
What did you do?
317
00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:44,965
Actually, it kinda took care
of itself.
318
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:48,620
One day I was, uh,
playing miniature golf
319
00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:52,320
with some colleagues
and I got struck by lightning.
320
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,452
Oh, dear.No, it was fine.
321
00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:59,153
When I came to, I found myself
with the gift of gab.
322
00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:00,415
Big crowds,
323
00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:03,331
small crowds,
you couldn't shut me up.
324
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:05,202
I don't see how
that can benefit me.
325
00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:07,814
Not unless you'd like me
to take you miniature golfing
326
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:10,251
next time there are clouds
on the horizon.
327
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,436
Everything okay?
No.
328
00:12:21,479 --> 00:12:24,265
I have to give a speech
in front of the entire assembly.
329
00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:27,094
Oh. Got a little stage fright?
330
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:28,791
Unfortunately so.
331
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,794
Just thinking about it
causes my bladder to misbehave.
332
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:34,101
[chuckles] Yeah, I been there.
333
00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:35,711
You have?
334
00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,147
Sure.
335
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:38,845
When I first started coaching,
336
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,498
I was real nervous
to talk to the team,
337
00:12:40,542 --> 00:12:42,283
you know,
give a locker room speech.
338
00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:45,242
Then, one day
it dawned on me,
339
00:12:45,286 --> 00:12:46,766
I'm not just talking
to football players,
340
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:49,246
I'm talking
to teenage football players.
341
00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:51,292
Most of them aren't listening
to a word I'm saying.
342
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:53,294
That's an interesting
perspective.
343
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:55,252
I'll tell you
something else.
344
00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:57,646
You don't give yourself enough
credit for how brave you are.
345
00:12:57,689 --> 00:13:00,083
I don't?
No.
346
00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:03,217
Sheldon, you are ten years old,
going to high school.
347
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:06,394
Everyone's older than you,
everyone's bigger than you,
348
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:10,398
but you keep at it,
day after day.
349
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:12,922
That's brave.
350
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:14,924
Any kid who can do that
could give a speech
351
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:17,622
to the United Nations
if he had to.
352
00:13:19,581 --> 00:13:21,017
Thanks, Dad.
353
00:13:30,592 --> 00:13:32,333
I heard what you
said in there.
354
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,465
That was very
beautiful.
Thanks.
355
00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:37,294
I gave a similar speech
to my team last week.
356
00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:39,166
Boy, did we get
our asses kicked.
357
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,302
ADULT SHELDON:
Emboldened by
my father's pep talk,
358
00:13:45,346 --> 00:13:48,001
I began working on my speech.
359
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:50,742
I aspired to walk
in the footsteps
360
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,048
of history's greatest orators:
361
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:54,355
Socrates, Winston Churchill,
362
00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:57,488
and, last but not least,
Professor Proton.
363
00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:59,360
Hey, I spoke to Nell's sister.
364
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:00,970
Found out some
interesting stuff.
365
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:04,539
Thanks, but I've decided I don't
want to stoop to her level.
366
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:06,802
If I can't win on the quality
of my ideas,
367
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:09,022
then I'd rather lose
with my head held high.
368
00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:10,284
That's really stupid,
369
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,852
but in case you change
your mind...
370
00:14:15,376 --> 00:14:17,944
All right, y'all have heard
371
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,120
from your secretary candidates,
your treasurer candidates,
372
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:22,600
your vice presidents...
373
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:24,646
It's time for the big finale,
374
00:14:24,689 --> 00:14:28,171
the closing event,
the headliners...
375
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:31,653
Nell Cavanaugh
and Sheldon Cooper.
376
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:34,656
One of these two will be
president of your class,
377
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:37,659
so listen to what they've got
to say and choose wisely,
378
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:40,705
which will be a whole new
experience for most of you.
379
00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:43,708
Remember, heckling
will get you detention.
380
00:14:43,752 --> 00:14:44,927
STUDENT:
Bite me!
381
00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:45,885
[laughter]
382
00:14:45,928 --> 00:14:48,061
Bryan Larkin, two days!
383
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:50,150
You want to try for a week?
384
00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:51,934
I didn't think so.
385
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:53,980
Nell, floor is yours.
386
00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,330
[cheering and applause]
387
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:03,076
STUDENTS:
Nell!
388
00:15:03,119 --> 00:15:04,251
[whooping]
389
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:06,557
Thank you, Ms. MacElroy,
390
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:09,169
Principal Petersen,
our hard-working teachers,
391
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:10,518
and my fellow students.
392
00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:14,087
I'm blessed to call
so many of you friends.
393
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:15,871
Y'all probably know everything
about me already.
394
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,525
Lord knows I love to talk.
[laughs]
395
00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:18,961
[laughter]
396
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:22,095
So instead of going on
about myself,
397
00:15:22,138 --> 00:15:25,141
I'd like to talk to you
about my opponent.
398
00:15:25,185 --> 00:15:27,970
Sheldon Cooper has been lobbying
399
00:15:28,014 --> 00:15:29,450
for new science equipment here
at Medford High,
400
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:33,236
and while that sounds wonderful,
the truth is,
401
00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:38,546
he thinks our school wastes
its money on football.
402
00:15:38,589 --> 00:15:41,244
[students booing]
403
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,681
Do we really want
a class president
404
00:15:43,725 --> 00:15:46,641
who doesn't care about football?
405
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:49,383
STUDENTS:
No!
406
00:15:49,426 --> 00:15:51,341
I know I am proud to be
a Medford High cheerleader,
407
00:15:51,385 --> 00:15:53,039
and I love football!
408
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:56,390
[cheering and applause]
409
00:15:56,433 --> 00:15:57,869
But you know the one thing
410
00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:01,569
I love more than football?
411
00:16:01,612 --> 00:16:03,136
God.
412
00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:05,965
[students affirming]
413
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:08,097
[applause]
414
00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:09,664
Let me tell you
another interesting fact
415
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:10,970
about my opponent.
416
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:15,061
Did you know that Sheldon Cooper
is an atheist?
417
00:16:15,104 --> 00:16:17,019
[students gasping]That's right.
418
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:20,066
He doesn't believe in God.
419
00:16:20,109 --> 00:16:21,937
Just keep that in mind
420
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:24,157
when you cast your vote today.
421
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,247
I'm Nell Cavanaugh.
Go Wolves!
422
00:16:32,165 --> 00:16:36,212
[cheering and applause]
423
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:38,171
And now, please welcome
Sheldon Cooper.
424
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:44,264
♪
425
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:54,013
[whispering]:
No one would fault you
if you ran out the back door.
426
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,289
♪
427
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:24,086
[quietly]:
Nell Cavanaugh is... a Yankee.
428
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:26,654
[gasping]
429
00:17:26,697 --> 00:17:29,396
She may love football
and she may love God,
430
00:17:29,439 --> 00:17:31,267
but she was born in Scarsdale.
431
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:32,921
That's in New York.
432
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,879
[gasping, booing]
433
00:17:34,923 --> 00:17:36,925
There's more.
434
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:40,624
My opponent didn't move to Texas
until she was seven years old.
435
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:42,757
In fact, in her bedroom
436
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,281
there's a pennant
for the New York Yankees.
437
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:46,282
[students jeering]
438
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:51,679
While I may not be a fan
439
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:53,289
of organized religion or sports,
440
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:56,771
I promise, if you vote for me,
I'll do my best
441
00:17:56,814 --> 00:17:59,643
to get new science equipment
for our school.
442
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:05,127
Uh...
443
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:07,303
Don't mess with Texas!
444
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:10,176
[cheering and applause]
445
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:16,225
[chanting]:
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
446
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:20,055
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
Sheldon!
447
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,579
Sheldon! Sheldon! Sheldon!
448
00:18:22,623 --> 00:18:24,755
Sheldon! Sheldon!
449
00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:27,976
[whooping, whistling]
450
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,116
[musical notes playing]
451
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:43,122
ADULT SHELDON:
Before I became
Dr. Sheldon Cooper,
452
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,298
I was President Sheldon Cooper.
453
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,734
And I don't mind telling you,
454
00:18:46,777 --> 00:18:49,345
they both look pretty darn good on business cards.
455
00:18:49,389 --> 00:18:50,955
One of my first
responsibilities
456
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,218
as class president
457
00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:54,481
was delivering
the morning announcements.
458
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:56,961
Please rise
for the Pledge of Allegiance.
459
00:18:57,005 --> 00:19:00,051
I pledge allegiance
to the Flag...
460
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:02,619
SHELDON AND CLASS:
Of the United States
of America...
461
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:05,492
SHELDON AND GEORGE SR.:
And to the Republic
for which it stands...
462
00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:06,971
One Nation...
463
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:09,235
Here's a fun fact
about the next two words:
464
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:11,759
"Under God" wasn't added
to the Pledge of Allegiance
465
00:19:11,802 --> 00:19:13,108
until 1954.
466
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,154
My first act as your president
467
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:17,547
is to remove the words
"under God" from the Pledge
468
00:19:17,591 --> 00:19:18,766
in order to honor
469
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,420
the separation
of church and state
470
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,117
in this public high school.
471
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,423
PETERSEN:
Okay, that's enough.
472
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:24,989
SHELDON:
You can't take my microphone.
473
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,687
I'm the president.[whispering]: Thank you.
474
00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:29,080
PETERSEN:
All right, let's try this again.
475
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:30,734
I pledge allegiance
to the Flag...
476
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:33,041
PETERSEN AND CLASS:
Of the United States of America,
477
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:36,218
and to the Republic
for which it stands...
478
00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:37,524
One Nation
479
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:38,873
under God,
480
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:42,137
indivisible, with liberty
and justice for all.
481
00:19:42,181 --> 00:19:44,139
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
482
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,967
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
483
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:49,057
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
34023
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Tatar
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof