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♪♪
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Oh,
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that movie was epic!
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What did you think,
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Charlie?
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- I didn't really enjoy it - that much, to be honest.
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What, really?
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- Okay, okay, look, - to be completely fair,
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I did really enjoy the scene
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when Biblo went rogue
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- and he beat that woman - in the head with the hammer.
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- I thought it was artistically - and like, tastefully done.
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I thought it was
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a well-done sequence.
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- That's funny. That was the part - I really didn't like.
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- It was just - too violent.
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- I think it's just because - he was a leech.
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- Hey, by the way, - you want to get some food?
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Yeah, I could eat.
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[ Smacks lips ]
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- Oh, man, I could really go - for some Salty's right now.
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- Isn't that like, - cheap fast food or something?
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- Have you really never - been to Salty's?
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- Dude, you're gonna - love this place.
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- I've been coming here - since I was a homunculus.
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[ Mouse squeaks ]
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- Charlie, this place - doesn't seem very clean,
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- There's grease - all over the floor.
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- Ah, it's just - part of the charm, man.
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Welcome to Salty's!
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I'm Simon S. Salty and I
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built this very restaurant
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with my own two hands!
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And together with
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my funny mascot friends,
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we work hard make... to give you
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the most quality... supreme...
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to give you that quality
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Salty's experience.
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Unfortunately,
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the United States FDA...
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[ Mocking] The FDA...
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has deemed my food a "hazard"...
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oh, my food...
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linked to 15 deaths in
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the past four months alone.
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Although I am rolling out some
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new and improved menu items!
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Come on, I'm Italian.
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You can try my new
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Cucumber Deluxe,
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the Super Green Bowl,
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and my personal favorite,
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Salty's Sourdough Bread Busts.
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So come to Salty's
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and get your new and improved
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menu items todayyyy!
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- Ugh, I hate when - fast food restaurants
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- do this - healthy food shit.
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- First, they took off - a century egg, and now this.
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Awesome.
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- Oh, it's like - a Chinese egg
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- that you bury the dirt - and you dig it up
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- and you eat it after - like, 100 days.
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- Um, I actually thought - it was pretty good.
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- I liked it. - I happen to like it.
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- I actually think - the Cucumber Deluxe
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looks scrumptious.
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You have to get
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the Salty Delight burger.
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[ Ding! ]
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[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
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- I'm sorry, I didn't realize - we had customers.
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What can I get you?
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- Yeah, I'll just get two - Salty Delight Burgers, thanks.
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- Ah, sorry, - unfortunately, as of today,
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- we don't sell - the Salty Delight anymore.
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- I can get you a Salty - Sourdough Bread Bust, though.
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What?
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- Come on, you can't get rid - of Salty Delight.
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- Let me talk to - Salty.
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Oh, Salty is actually taking
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his iconic 7:00 P.M. nap.
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- No, I think I'm going to - speak to him.
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Oh, my God!
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S-Salty's been m-m-murdered!
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- Operator: 9-1-1, - What's your emergency?
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- Yeah, I'm at Salty's Restaurant - on Meat Boulevard.
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Simon S. Salty
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has been murdered!
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Uh, yeah, after
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some recent budget cuts,
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we're no longer in charge
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of murder mysteries.
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- Another team handles that now. - They'll be on their way shortly.
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Oh, okay. Thank you.
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[ Cellphone buzzes ]
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- Hey, Charlie, the owner of - the famous Salty's restaurant
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was just brutally murdered,
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- and I need you and Pim - to figure out who did it.
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Thank you. Bye.
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Uhh. Uh.
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- It looks like we're technically - in charge of solving this.
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I guess that means we're
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detectives now, Charlie.
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- Did you really bring that - with you into the movie theater?
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- Hmm, - first things first,
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- how many exits - does this place have, Ketchup?
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Just the front entrance.
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- Then that means the killer is - still here in the restaurant.
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- Ketchup, who else was in - the restaurant when we came in?
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Just me, you guys,
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and all the other mascots.
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What other mascots?
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[ Thunder rolls ]
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Alright, so we have Mustard,
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Salt, Pepper, Crazy Cup,
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the Fun Twins,
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and me, Ketchup, hee-hee.
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- I think - that's everyone.
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And don't forget
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about me, Grease.
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I could have done it.
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Um... alright,
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well, did you do it?
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I mean, no,
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but I totally could have.
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Cool, anyways.
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- As much as I love - all you epic mascots,
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somebody here definitely
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murdered Simon S. Salty.
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- We should go around, get - everyone's side of the story,
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then just see
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what sticks out.
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- And none of your are leaving - until we solve this!
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[ Thunder claps ]
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- You didn't need to - raise your voice, man.
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Alright, Ketchup.
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- What was your relationship - like with Salty?
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Well, lately we have been
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having arguments
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- about the new - healthy menu.
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- I just knew it was going - to cause problems
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for the restaurant.
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- Sounds like you were - quite angry at Salty, then.
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Yes, but I would never stab
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my friend in the back.
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[ Crying ]
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He was my damn godfather
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to my children.
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- Oh, don't cry, - Mr. Ketchup.
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We'll solve
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this mystery soon.
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Thank you, Pim.
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- Alright, I'm not - screwing around here.
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You two kill Salty,
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or what?
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- We were spending all day - draining the rotten soda
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- from the machine with - our soda-draining device
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- and refilling it with - fresh, soapy soda.
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Yes, it's true.
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Oh, yes, yes, yes.
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You guys spent all day
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doing that?
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Well, not all day.
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- We did have - a little break
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to have a little kiss
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in the closet.
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[ Giggling ]
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[ Kissing ]
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Alright. Noted.
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- That's just straight-up - beautiful, by the way.
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- Look, I couldn't have - killed salty.
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I spent all day cleaning
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a stain off my costume.
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Pim: Hmm.
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A stain of what?
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- My own doo-doo feces, - okay?
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- For your information, I happen - to have a serious drug problem
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- which causes me to squirt - out my ass into my costume.
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- And the worst part of all - is this thing
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- takes 20 minutes - to take off.
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Oh, fair enough.
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I'm genuinely sorry.
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That sounds terrible.
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Oh, I wish I could help,
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but I was in here all day,
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- just doing - my routine stock check.
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- Okay, yeah, - that actually checks out.
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- Oh, alright, - fine!
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- You pushed me hard enough, - and now I'm forced to admit it!
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Yes, Salty and I were
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having a steamy affair.
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What of it?
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- The last time - I saw him,
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- I was breaking up with him - in his office
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as he was laying down to take
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his iconic 7:00 P.M. nap.
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I just couldn't keep it
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going on any longer.
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He was smothering
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me too much.
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- Alright, - that's a bombshell.
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- Could you expand - on that a little bit more?
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- I'd never do anything - to hurt him,
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- if that's what - you're getting at.
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- Oh, murder is - a terrible thing.
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- Just the thought of it makes me - ever so like light-headed!
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Ohh!
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Can't a poor mustard like me
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ever have a little fun?
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- Yeah, - everyone likes fun.
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- You like to - have fun, too?
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- I mean, you know, - you're asking about me?
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I mean, yeah,
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I like fun. Yeah.
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- Oh, yeah? - [ Laughs ]
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I already said yes.
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- Alright, Charlie, - you all done here?
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- I think we just have one - last interview left.
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Yeah, yeah.
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We're all done here.
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[ Chittering ]
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- Uh, we can have fun - on the jungle gym
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- after you tell me what - you two were doing
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- at the time - of the murder.
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[ Chittering ]
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- Well, that's - a nice story and all,
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but it doesn't really
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answer my question.
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- Pim, how did you - understand any of that?
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What? Ow!
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[ Chittering ]
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This is tough.
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- I really feel like any of - these rotten mascots
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could have done it.
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- What do you think, - Pim?
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- I... I don't know. - Sorry.
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- I can't even - think properly right now.
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- My arm is stinging - so bad
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- from whatever those - Fun Twins spat on me.
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- Oh, it's just a little - bit of playful spit, Pim.
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Just having fun.
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- Ahh, Salty must have some - kind of cream or ointment
245
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around here.
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- It did seem odd that Mustard - was having an affair with Salty,
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- but also that cup thing has got - a bad energy about him, man.
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Just a bad vibe.
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Wait a second.
250
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What room is this?
251
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S-S-Secret room!
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Ohh!
253
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Greetings.
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- Wait, you're - the century egg.
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- They took you off - the menu, right?
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Yes, I was delicious,
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but the public wasn't ready
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for it, so I sold terribly,
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and Salty took me off
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his damn menu
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and locked me away down here.
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And now you know
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my cool fucking back story.
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That is pretty cool.
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- Well, look, - Salty was murdered,
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- and we're trying to - figure out who did it.
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I knew this day would come.
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He's made a lot of
269
00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,367
mascot enemies over the years.
270
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,875
Terrible shame.
271
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,456
- Do you have any information - that might help us out, Mr. Egg?
272
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,639
Ah, yes, well,
273
00:08:00,665 --> 00:08:01,845
funny you say.
274
00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:03,808
I do happen to film everything
275
00:08:03,834 --> 00:08:05,724
that happens in Salty's office
276
00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:07,258
- on my secret - security camera.
277
00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:09,703
- But you wouldn't be interested - in anything like that.
278
00:08:09,822 --> 00:08:11,532
- No, no, no, - we definitely are.
279
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:12,787
Bleh.
280
00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,319
I can feel the cold hand
281
00:08:14,345 --> 00:08:15,825
of death taking me away.
282
00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:17,235
You may have my tape
283
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,634
on the condition
284
00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:21,088
you bury me in the beautiful
285
00:08:21,118 --> 00:08:23,538
Chinese Xiang Pine Forest,
286
00:08:23,636 --> 00:08:24,896
my hometown.
287
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,734
Oh, yeah, we will definitely go
288
00:08:26,757 --> 00:08:28,507
to China to bury you, man.
289
00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:29,844
Very well.
290
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:31,199
It's over there,
291
00:08:31,228 --> 00:08:32,548
in that drawer.
292
00:08:32,645 --> 00:08:35,345
[ Coughs, groans ]
293
00:08:35,414 --> 00:08:37,154
Thank you, Egg.
294
00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:40,898
- Oh, no, no, no. - Not that one. Other drawer.
295
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,390
Oh. I'm sorry.
296
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:44,048
Listen up, everyone. We have it
297
00:08:44,074 --> 00:08:45,664
all right here on tape.
298
00:08:45,725 --> 00:08:48,165
Now we can see for ourselves
299
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,655
what actually happened.
300
00:08:50,730 --> 00:08:53,170
Alright. Rewind it.
301
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,312
I knew it! It was Ketchup
302
00:08:57,338 --> 00:08:58,668
the entire time.
303
00:08:58,738 --> 00:09:00,408
Oh, fine, it was me.
304
00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:02,146
- Charlie, you like - our menu, right?
305
00:09:02,241 --> 00:09:03,411
Aren't you sick of seeing
306
00:09:03,509 --> 00:09:04,919
- all your favorite - fast food restaurants
307
00:09:04,944 --> 00:09:07,094
- becoming healthy - and cleaning up their image?
308
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,713
Fast food should be greasy
309
00:09:08,732 --> 00:09:10,252
and make your heart palpitate!
310
00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:12,829
- Yeah, but I never break - the sixth commandment, dude.
311
00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:13,949
Wait a second.
312
00:09:13,971 --> 00:09:15,021
I think there's more.
313
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,773
- What? So Salt and Pepper - did it?
314
00:09:18,891 --> 00:09:20,171
- Fine. Fine! - We did it!
315
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:21,599
- We drained - all of his blood
316
00:09:21,727 --> 00:09:23,407
because he didn't approve of us
317
00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:25,130
kissing on the job.
318
00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:26,671
- Alright, - I guess that settles it.
319
00:09:26,699 --> 00:09:28,059
Wait a second.
320
00:09:28,085 --> 00:09:29,465
I think... it's still going.
321
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,372
Alright. You got me.
322
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:39,690
- How many fucking people - killed this guy?
323
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:41,069
We just need to see
324
00:09:41,098 --> 00:09:42,418
who killed him first.
325
00:09:44,917 --> 00:09:46,407
It seemed easier to kill him
326
00:09:46,437 --> 00:09:47,947
than to break his heart.
327
00:09:48,054 --> 00:09:50,034
- Alright, I don't think we're - gonna get any more surprises,
328
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:51,246
so I guess you
329
00:09:51,275 --> 00:09:52,485
really did do it.
330
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,352
Wait a second,
331
00:09:54,378 --> 00:09:56,158
there's a bit more footage left!
332
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,836
Wait, wait, wait!
333
00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,125
Play it from there.
334
00:10:00,066 --> 00:10:01,496
My final burger!
335
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,901
After today, I'm going to
336
00:10:03,921 --> 00:10:06,241
start eating healthy.
337
00:10:06,305 --> 00:10:08,735
Oh, my heart! Ohh!
338
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,648
- So I guess that means - they're all innocent.
339
00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:12,723
- Salty technically died - from a heart attack.
340
00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:15,162
- I mean, all of these characters - are definitely psychopaths,
341
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,591
- but I guess - none of them killed them.
342
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:17,786
That means we legally
343
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,018
can all go free.
344
00:10:19,118 --> 00:10:20,188
Yay!
345
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:21,556
- I don't think - it means that, I'm just...
346
00:10:21,587 --> 00:10:24,257
[ Cheering ]
347
00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:26,433
[ Laughing, screaming ]
348
00:10:26,492 --> 00:10:28,622
Alright, next time
349
00:10:28,645 --> 00:10:30,795
I'm picking the food.
350
00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:35,703
[ Both laugh ]
351
00:10:35,801 --> 00:10:38,041
[ Sirens wail ]
352
00:10:38,137 --> 00:10:43,607
♪♪
353
00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:49,376
♪♪
354
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:55,128
- Did we have to come all the way - to China to do this?
355
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:56,621
It's what the egg wanted,
356
00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,060
Alan.
357
00:10:58,157 --> 00:10:59,597
- You know what's - messed up?
358
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:02,212
- He probably tastes even better - right now that he did before.
359
00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:03,768
- Yeah, - what do they taste like?
360
00:11:03,863 --> 00:11:05,473
- I've never tried - a century egg before.
361
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,968
Really?
362
00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:10,225
Okay, you have to try it
363
00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:11,474
at least once.
364
00:11:11,524 --> 00:11:16,074
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