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1
00:00:09,318 --> 00:00:12,224
‐ Previously on "Resident Alien"...
This is what is left
of my spaceship.
2
00:00:12,224 --> 00:00:14,195
‐ This happened to you
because you went to space.
3
00:00:14,195 --> 00:00:15,765
‐ I don't think
that's how space works.
4
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:19,105
‐ What else could it be?
‐ I have no idea.
5
00:00:19,105 --> 00:00:20,575
‐ That little shit pocket.
6
00:00:20,575 --> 00:00:24,515
I forgot to tell you, my people
are coming to kill everyone.
7
00:00:24,515 --> 00:00:26,587
‐ You're an alien,
you know, phone home.
8
00:00:26,587 --> 00:00:28,456
Call them and tell them
not to come.
9
00:00:28,456 --> 00:00:31,362
‐ I will try to build a radio
and contact my people.
10
00:00:31,362 --> 00:00:33,166
‐ The government is after him.
11
00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,103
They know
that I know who he is.
12
00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:36,239
‐ What?
13
00:00:36,239 --> 00:00:37,642
‐ And they went back
to their base,
14
00:00:37,642 --> 00:00:39,445
and now they're driving around
searching for him.
15
00:00:39,445 --> 00:00:41,249
‐ How do you know
where their base is?
16
00:00:41,249 --> 00:00:43,086
‐ We have our ways.
17
00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:44,388
‐ Hello, Asta.
We need to speak
18
00:00:44,388 --> 00:00:46,459
with Dr. Vanderspeigle
about that severed foot.
19
00:00:46,459 --> 00:00:47,562
Well, I'll be.
20
00:00:47,562 --> 00:00:49,498
Botulinum toxin‐‐
the murder weapon.
21
00:00:49,498 --> 00:00:52,071
‐ Oh, no.
‐ Where is he, Asta?
22
00:00:52,071 --> 00:00:53,540
‐ He went to hide
in the cellar.
23
00:00:53,540 --> 00:00:54,643
‐ Dr. Vanderspeigle!
24
00:00:54,643 --> 00:00:57,716
‐ Whoa, what's with the guns?
‐ Asta?
25
00:00:57,716 --> 00:01:00,120
‐ What in holy hell?
26
00:01:07,836 --> 00:01:11,309
♪ ♪
27
00:01:11,309 --> 00:01:15,484
‐ That faint one there is Mars,
28
00:01:15,484 --> 00:01:17,288
the god of war.
29
00:01:17,288 --> 00:01:22,197
And over there is Venus,
the goddess of fertility.
30
00:01:22,197 --> 00:01:25,237
‐ Venus rhymes with penis.
31
00:01:25,237 --> 00:01:27,709
‐ D'arcy, Judy,
that's not funny.
32
00:01:27,709 --> 00:01:29,445
‐ Is there a girl hero?
33
00:01:29,445 --> 00:01:32,384
‐ Olivia Baker, did we raise
our hand before we spoke?
34
00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,455
‐ Ben didn't raise his hand.
35
00:01:34,455 --> 00:01:37,328
‐ Ben is working
on being more assertive,
36
00:01:37,328 --> 00:01:39,666
so it's okay for him.
37
00:01:41,670 --> 00:01:44,575
‐ Wow, what's that?
38
00:01:44,575 --> 00:01:47,616
‐ Let's go!
Asta, Kayla, come on!
39
00:01:47,616 --> 00:01:49,285
‐ Cool!
‐ Wait up!
40
00:01:49,285 --> 00:01:52,458
‐ Hey, hey!
Never leave a fire unattended.
41
00:01:52,458 --> 00:01:55,197
‐ I'll stay.
42
00:01:55,197 --> 00:02:00,240
♪ ♪
43
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,912
‐ Wait for me, kids.
Hey, you can't go alone!
44
00:02:02,912 --> 00:02:10,193
♪ ♪
45
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:16,306
‐ I looked,
but there was nothing.
46
00:02:16,306 --> 00:02:18,678
I didn't see anything.
‐ I did. I saw something.
47
00:02:18,678 --> 00:02:22,451
‐ Olivia Baker, you know
the rules about lying.
48
00:02:22,451 --> 00:02:24,923
♪ ♪
49
00:02:24,923 --> 00:02:27,161
‐ Did you really see something?
50
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:31,502
‐ No.
51
00:02:31,502 --> 00:02:37,949
♪ ♪
52
00:02:41,222 --> 00:02:47,902
♪ ♪
53
00:02:51,242 --> 00:02:53,346
‐ Dr. Vanderspeigle!
54
00:02:53,346 --> 00:02:54,482
Dr. V!
55
00:02:56,185 --> 00:02:58,656
Where the hell is he?
Oh, shit!
56
00:02:58,656 --> 00:03:00,695
Put your hands
above your head right now.
57
00:03:00,695 --> 00:03:03,199
You're under arrest
for the murder of Sam Hodges.
58
00:03:03,199 --> 00:03:04,870
‐ What?
Harry, what's going on?
59
00:03:04,870 --> 00:03:07,976
♪ ♪
60
00:03:07,976 --> 00:03:11,315
‐ You're going to
have to catch me first.
61
00:03:11,315 --> 00:03:13,921
‐ Oh, shit!
Oh, shit!
62
00:03:13,921 --> 00:03:16,426
Deputy, we got
ourselves a werewolf!
63
00:03:16,426 --> 00:03:17,962
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Hey! Hey!
64
00:03:17,962 --> 00:03:19,800
‐ Don't shoot him!
65
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,436
‐ Him?
That's a goddamn it!
66
00:03:21,436 --> 00:03:22,939
You need a silver bullet
in your ass,
67
00:03:22,939 --> 00:03:24,442
you albino‐ass werewolf
mother‐‐
68
00:03:28,316 --> 00:03:30,420
‐ No, he won't hurt you
if you don't hurt him!
69
00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:32,257
He's an alien!
70
00:03:32,257 --> 00:03:34,695
‐ I knew they existed.
71
00:03:34,695 --> 00:03:37,769
♪ ♪
72
00:03:37,769 --> 00:03:42,711
‐ ♪ Love and affection
is all that you lack ♪
73
00:03:42,711 --> 00:03:44,582
‐ You know what?
74
00:03:44,582 --> 00:03:46,352
I think we deserve a toast
with our toast.
75
00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:48,456
Good work on the
Severed Foot Killer, Deputy.
76
00:03:48,456 --> 00:03:50,427
It's gonna be nice to move on
to something else.
77
00:03:50,427 --> 00:03:52,598
‐ Thank you, sir.
You too.
78
00:03:52,598 --> 00:03:54,903
‐ Mmm.
‐ Mmm.
79
00:03:56,305 --> 00:03:58,443
I don't want to put my "foot"
80
00:03:58,443 --> 00:04:00,480
in my mouth...
81
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:04,856
‐ But I think we deserve
to have more of this bacon.
82
00:04:04,856 --> 00:04:06,760
And maybe even a raise!
83
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:08,596
‐ Ha! You know what?
84
00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:11,269
Now that I think about it,
you're absolutely right.
85
00:04:11,269 --> 00:04:14,910
I mean, now's the time,
and you've certainly earned it.
86
00:04:14,910 --> 00:04:17,014
Let's get some more
of that bacon.
87
00:04:24,796 --> 00:04:27,034
♪ ♪
88
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,638
Morning, Dr. V.
89
00:04:29,638 --> 00:04:31,777
‐ Howdy.
90
00:04:31,777 --> 00:04:35,317
‐ How...dy.
91
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:37,754
‐ Wow, I guess it worked.
92
00:04:37,754 --> 00:04:39,558
‐ I am an alien.
93
00:04:39,558 --> 00:04:42,564
We are very good
at changing peoples' memories
94
00:04:42,564 --> 00:04:44,068
to suit our purposes.
95
00:04:44,068 --> 00:04:46,739
They will not be
a problem anymore.
96
00:04:49,846 --> 00:04:53,520
♪ ♪
97
00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:55,056
‐ Deputy, let's get
into the car
98
00:04:55,056 --> 00:04:56,994
and drive out
to Dr. Vanderspeigle's house.
99
00:04:56,994 --> 00:05:00,066
We need to talk to him
about some murder stuff.
100
00:05:05,610 --> 00:05:08,918
‐ Sheriff Michael Thompson,
Deputy Olivia Baker,
101
00:05:08,918 --> 00:05:12,892
Special Agent Fisher, FBI.
102
00:05:12,892 --> 00:05:14,428
We're tracking down
the Dead Foot Killer.
103
00:05:14,428 --> 00:05:15,932
We've been following
your movements
104
00:05:15,932 --> 00:05:17,434
for quite some time now,
105
00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:20,774
and I have to say,
you two do excellent work.
106
00:05:20,774 --> 00:05:23,513
‐ Thank you. You've made me
feel good about myself,
107
00:05:23,513 --> 00:05:25,617
so I'm open to what
you're going to say next.
108
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:28,590
‐ We wouldn't be where we are
if it wasn't for you both.
109
00:05:28,590 --> 00:05:30,962
But the time has come for us
to take over this case.
110
00:05:30,962 --> 00:05:32,664
‐ Well, if you're taking over,
111
00:05:32,664 --> 00:05:35,403
we should stop
looking into the crime.
112
00:05:35,403 --> 00:05:38,409
‐ Exactly. I can only tell you
one thing about the case.
113
00:05:38,409 --> 00:05:42,651
The murderer is not
Harry Vanderspeigle.
114
00:05:43,988 --> 00:05:46,425
‐ Well, you're lucky
they bought that.
115
00:05:46,425 --> 00:05:47,996
You know, when we were
in the crevasse,
116
00:05:47,996 --> 00:05:49,498
I saw you were an alien.
117
00:05:49,498 --> 00:05:51,870
Why didn't you replace
my memory?
118
00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:54,074
‐ Because I am not alone
anymore.
119
00:05:56,045 --> 00:05:57,982
You can thank me if you want.
120
00:05:57,982 --> 00:06:00,020
‐ For what?
121
00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:03,593
‐ I killed the man who killed
your friend Sam.
122
00:06:03,593 --> 00:06:06,132
You are welcome.
123
00:06:06,132 --> 00:06:07,801
‐ Okay, Harry...
‐ Hmm?
124
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,572
‐ You're still a murderer.
125
00:06:09,572 --> 00:06:13,813
‐ No. I am a murderer murderer.
It's very different.
126
00:06:13,813 --> 00:06:17,889
‐ You can rationalize your
murderer murder all damn day.
127
00:06:17,889 --> 00:06:19,625
But guess what.
128
00:06:19,625 --> 00:06:22,431
Abigail Hodges is still accused
of a murder she didn't commit.
129
00:06:22,431 --> 00:06:25,070
‐ So what?
You do not even like her.
130
00:06:25,070 --> 00:06:27,007
‐ What is wrong with you?
131
00:06:27,007 --> 00:06:29,144
Do you really have
no empathy whatsoever?
132
00:06:29,144 --> 00:06:30,880
‐ That is not
what is wrong with me.
133
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,618
That is what is right with me.
134
00:06:32,618 --> 00:06:33,586
‐ Maybe you should try
135
00:06:33,586 --> 00:06:35,690
putting yourself
in other people's shoes.
136
00:06:35,690 --> 00:06:40,700
‐ Ugh! Other people's shoes
smell like other people's feet.
137
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:43,006
‐ Hi, I'm Ben Hawthorne,
138
00:06:43,006 --> 00:06:45,978
Mayor of peaceful
Patience, Colorado,
139
00:06:45,978 --> 00:06:48,016
where sometimes
bad things happen
140
00:06:48,016 --> 00:06:50,020
that are totally unrelated.
141
00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:51,957
Some of the highest peaks
in Colorado
142
00:06:51,957 --> 00:06:55,597
are right here in Patience,
but you know what's really low?
143
00:06:55,597 --> 00:06:58,036
Our mortality rate.
144
00:06:58,036 --> 00:06:59,905
‐ I don't think
you should say "mortality."
145
00:06:59,905 --> 00:07:01,509
‐ No?
‐ No.
146
00:07:01,509 --> 00:07:03,513
‐ No good? You're right,
it's a little too dark.
147
00:07:03,513 --> 00:07:05,884
‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ Yeah. Uh, Alexa?
148
00:07:05,884 --> 00:07:09,625
What is another word
for "mortality"?
149
00:07:09,625 --> 00:07:12,464
‐ Synonyms for "mortality"
meaning "death"
150
00:07:12,464 --> 00:07:15,737
include "fatality,"
"bloodshed," or "dying."
151
00:07:15,737 --> 00:07:17,507
‐ Alexa, stop.
152
00:07:17,507 --> 00:07:18,743
Uh, you know what?
153
00:07:18,743 --> 00:07:21,215
Let's just lose the whole,
you know, death theme.
154
00:07:21,215 --> 00:07:23,152
‐ Yeah.
‐ Yeah. Keep it positive.
155
00:07:23,152 --> 00:07:24,990
‐ Yeah, keep it light.
‐ Keep it loose.
156
00:07:24,990 --> 00:07:26,225
‐ Yeah.
‐ Okay, let me, uh‐‐
157
00:07:26,225 --> 00:07:27,628
let me just try some of these.
158
00:07:27,628 --> 00:07:29,898
Come on down to Patience.
159
00:07:29,898 --> 00:07:31,836
We still have
a working phone booth.
160
00:07:31,836 --> 00:07:33,673
We have a pretty good dentist.
161
00:07:33,673 --> 00:07:36,078
Our meth hospitalizations
have been way down
162
00:07:36,078 --> 00:07:37,614
since we legalized marijuana.
163
00:07:37,614 --> 00:07:38,750
So come to Patience
164
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:41,756
for some good, clean
family fun, you hear?
165
00:07:41,756 --> 00:07:43,226
‐ Oh! Oops
166
00:07:43,226 --> 00:07:46,165
How'd that get in there?
167
00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:48,202
‐ See, honey, this is‐‐
this is why I said not to use
168
00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:49,973
the cloud for these‐‐
it's not safe.
169
00:07:49,973 --> 00:07:51,208
‐ Oh, don't be so uptight.
170
00:07:51,208 --> 00:07:52,979
What's the worst
that happens, huh?
171
00:07:52,979 --> 00:07:54,948
Somebody hacks into our account
172
00:07:54,948 --> 00:07:57,587
and sees pictures
of our BDSM kink play?
173
00:07:57,587 --> 00:08:00,927
‐ What's BDSM kink play?
‐ It's‐‐uh, it's‐‐
174
00:08:00,927 --> 00:08:02,164
‐ Did we get a new game?
‐ It's nothing.
175
00:08:02,164 --> 00:08:03,833
It's nothing.
No, we did not, okay?
176
00:08:03,833 --> 00:08:05,603
Go clean your room‐‐my cousin
Carlyn's coming for the night.
177
00:08:05,603 --> 00:08:07,174
‐ Can I play kink play
with you and your cousin?
178
00:08:07,174 --> 00:08:08,710
No!
179
00:08:08,710 --> 00:08:10,246
‐ Uh, because
she and I are going hiking.
180
00:08:10,246 --> 00:08:12,584
You go clean your room.
181
00:08:12,584 --> 00:08:15,724
‐ So how long will building
this radio take?
182
00:08:15,724 --> 00:08:18,730
Can I help?
‐ Ha! Ha!
183
00:08:18,730 --> 00:08:23,139
I don't know. Can a newborn pig
help perform cardiac surgery?
184
00:08:23,139 --> 00:08:25,076
‐ All right, you might want
to think of another metaphor
185
00:08:25,076 --> 00:08:27,147
before I push you into traffic.
186
00:08:27,147 --> 00:08:29,585
I'm just trying to save
the human race here.
187
00:08:29,585 --> 00:08:32,290
‐ My problem is I do not have
a lot of time to build it,
188
00:08:32,290 --> 00:08:37,134
and human technology
is very limited.
189
00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:39,271
‐ I don't know
what to tell you, Harry.
190
00:08:39,271 --> 00:08:40,540
Get creative.
191
00:08:40,540 --> 00:08:42,811
You know, E. T. used
a freakin' Speak & Spell.
192
00:08:42,811 --> 00:08:45,817
‐ E. T. was an idiot.
193
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:48,756
Obviously, sexy.
194
00:08:48,756 --> 00:08:50,760
Very attractive...
195
00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,066
but so dumb.
196
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,303
‐ Well, at least we have
fewer distractions
197
00:08:55,303 --> 00:08:58,008
now that your criminal past
is taken care of.
198
00:08:58,008 --> 00:09:01,082
‐ Almost taken care of.
199
00:09:02,651 --> 00:09:04,788
Now it is taken care of.
‐ Are you serious?
200
00:09:04,788 --> 00:09:06,659
Maybe don't throw
a deadly toxin
201
00:09:06,659 --> 00:09:08,329
where any kid can just grab it.
‐ Mm.
202
00:09:08,329 --> 00:09:10,133
‐ Have you not watched enough
"Law & Order" to know
203
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:13,072
you don't just throw evidence
into a trash can?
204
00:09:13,072 --> 00:09:15,210
Who's the idiot now?
205
00:09:15,210 --> 00:09:17,347
‐ Still E. T.
206
00:09:17,347 --> 00:09:19,952
Beautiful moron.
207
00:09:22,924 --> 00:09:26,064
♪ ♪
208
00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:34,915
♪ ♪
209
00:09:39,324 --> 00:09:40,660
What?
210
00:09:40,660 --> 00:09:43,132
‐ Dr. Vanderspeigle,
I am so glad you're home.
211
00:09:43,132 --> 00:09:44,668
This is my cousin Carlyn.
212
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:46,205
‐ Hi. Sorry.
213
00:09:46,205 --> 00:09:48,309
‐ We were out hiking, and she
tripped and cut her knee open.
214
00:09:48,309 --> 00:09:50,814
I was hoping you could help.
‐ And she's dying?
215
00:09:50,814 --> 00:09:53,051
‐ Oh, no.
It just needs to be looked at.
216
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:54,988
‐ I was gonna take her
into town,
217
00:09:54,988 --> 00:09:56,759
but Dr. Smallwood is...
218
00:09:56,759 --> 00:09:59,398
Well, Susan Brown went in
with a broken wrist
219
00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:01,802
and came out
with a cast on her ankle.
220
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:03,940
‐ If I fix it...
221
00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:05,610
you'll leave?
222
00:10:05,610 --> 00:10:07,681
‐ Uh, yes.
223
00:10:07,681 --> 00:10:08,950
‐ Mm.
224
00:10:08,950 --> 00:10:11,822
‐ Oh, this looks like
a ring resonator.
225
00:10:11,822 --> 00:10:14,128
Are you‐‐
are you building a laser?
226
00:10:14,128 --> 00:10:16,699
‐ Are you a talking ham?
227
00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:18,970
‐ Carlyn works in a lab
at New Mexico Tech.
228
00:10:18,970 --> 00:10:21,709
She's one smart lady.
‐ I'm impressed.
229
00:10:21,709 --> 00:10:25,650
For a layman,
this is really quite advanced.
230
00:10:25,650 --> 00:10:26,986
‐ It is software‐based
231
00:10:26,986 --> 00:10:30,660
radio‐telemetry‐transceiver
technology,
232
00:10:30,660 --> 00:10:33,131
but the inside‐out
potato chip bag
233
00:10:33,131 --> 00:10:36,839
that I'm using as
a diffuser keeps melting.
234
00:10:36,839 --> 00:10:38,276
‐ Wow.
235
00:10:38,276 --> 00:10:40,413
I've never known a guy
who was into SDR
236
00:10:40,413 --> 00:10:43,319
who wasn't also,
like, you know, a troll.
237
00:10:43,319 --> 00:10:46,024
‐ Trolls live under bridges.
238
00:10:46,024 --> 00:10:47,227
I am not one of them.
239
00:10:47,227 --> 00:10:49,932
‐ It means she thinks
you're handsome.
240
00:10:49,932 --> 00:10:52,170
♪ ♪
241
00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:56,144
‐ I have a handsome human face.
242
00:10:56,144 --> 00:10:58,850
And my skin tone is the same
as a dead soldier
243
00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:01,188
in a Renaissance painting.
244
00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,007
‐ ♪ I'm just messin' around ♪
245
00:11:12,277 --> 00:11:15,250
♪ I'm just messin' around,
around ♪
246
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:16,685
♪ I'm just messin' around ♪
247
00:11:18,456 --> 00:11:20,994
‐ Oh. Yes.
248
00:11:20,994 --> 00:11:24,735
‐ ♪ Around,
and I like it ♪
249
00:11:24,735 --> 00:11:27,440
‐ Just, whatever you do,
don't eat the snacks.
250
00:11:27,440 --> 00:11:30,078
‐ Benny. Kate.
251
00:11:30,078 --> 00:11:32,884
Long time, no see‐‐
well, together anyway.
252
00:11:32,884 --> 00:11:35,423
I saw you up close
and personal the other night.
253
00:11:35,423 --> 00:11:38,229
‐ What other night?
254
00:11:38,229 --> 00:11:40,733
‐ Poker.
255
00:11:40,733 --> 00:11:42,971
Why? What night did you think
I was talking about?
256
00:11:42,971 --> 00:11:45,276
‐ Hi, I'm Carlyn.
‐ Hey. D'arcy.
257
00:11:45,276 --> 00:11:47,714
So can I get you guys
some sliders?
258
00:11:47,714 --> 00:11:51,020
Day‐old buns help disguise
the week‐old meat.
259
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:52,490
‐ We'll just‐‐
we'll stick to liquids.
260
00:11:52,490 --> 00:11:55,496
‐ We just wanted to show Carlyn
the town, and now we have.
261
00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,199
It took about nine minutes.
262
00:11:57,199 --> 00:11:59,070
‐ Well, if you're here tonight,
263
00:11:59,070 --> 00:12:01,040
my friend Kayla
just called a GN59.
264
00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:03,746
It's, like, a party but with
a decent chance of prison time.
265
00:12:03,746 --> 00:12:05,148
‐ Sounds fun.
266
00:12:05,148 --> 00:12:06,785
‐ Yeah. Yeah.
267
00:12:06,785 --> 00:12:08,956
When anything stressful
or shitty happens,
268
00:12:08,956 --> 00:12:11,060
anyone in our friend group
can call a GN59.
269
00:12:11,060 --> 00:12:12,330
You have to drop everything
270
00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:14,968
and go tits out
on a huge girls' night.
271
00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:16,472
Yeah, it's really fun.
You should come.
272
00:12:16,472 --> 00:12:18,476
‐ Well, can't tonight.
We have dinner plans.
273
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:20,880
But, uh, wouldn't mind ordering
a few drinks, though,
274
00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,851
if you can just find
that bartender.
275
00:12:22,851 --> 00:12:24,153
‐ Oh, come on, Kate‐o.
276
00:12:24,153 --> 00:12:26,358
You just said you'd seen
everything in the town.
277
00:12:26,358 --> 00:12:28,028
‐ Yeah, we should
totally do it.
278
00:12:28,028 --> 00:12:29,196
I mean, when's the last time
279
00:12:29,196 --> 00:12:31,502
you let Kendra out
to play, huh?
280
00:12:31,502 --> 00:12:32,837
‐ Who's Kendra?
281
00:12:32,837 --> 00:12:34,975
‐ Kendra was her alter ego
when she drank too much.
282
00:12:34,975 --> 00:12:37,847
Oh, yeah, she brought her out
at a family reunion once‐‐
283
00:12:37,847 --> 00:12:39,250
real wild child.
284
00:12:39,250 --> 00:12:41,288
Oh, I'm sad.
You've never met Kendra.
285
00:12:41,288 --> 00:12:43,793
‐ Yeah. News to me.
‐ I'm sad, too.
286
00:12:43,793 --> 00:12:45,997
‐ Uh, I'll have a pilsner,
what would you ladies like?
287
00:12:45,997 --> 00:12:48,536
‐ Come on.
288
00:12:48,536 --> 00:12:49,805
‐ Okay.
289
00:12:49,805 --> 00:12:51,542
Okay. Let's do it.
290
00:12:51,542 --> 00:12:52,510
‐ Oh.
‐ We'll do it.
291
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:54,281
‐ Oh, but, hon,
we already got a sitter.
292
00:12:54,281 --> 00:12:57,988
‐ Perfect. Call a friend.
You can go out, too.
293
00:12:57,988 --> 00:13:00,526
Ugh! Yes!
294
00:13:00,526 --> 00:13:02,998
Can we get
some service around here?
295
00:13:06,972 --> 00:13:09,143
‐ Hey, Sahar, I need your help.
296
00:13:09,143 --> 00:13:11,949
Wait, when did you get a dog?
297
00:13:11,949 --> 00:13:13,386
‐ I'm not allowed
to have a dog.
298
00:13:13,386 --> 00:13:16,057
I walk Cinnamon
for my neighbors.
299
00:13:16,057 --> 00:13:17,460
She hasn't pooped
in three days.
300
00:13:17,460 --> 00:13:19,030
‐ Why not?
301
00:13:19,030 --> 00:13:21,034
‐ She swallowed
a whole avocado.
302
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:23,204
I don't walk
behind her anymore.
303
00:13:23,204 --> 00:13:24,541
‐ Ew!
304
00:13:24,541 --> 00:13:26,578
You got to help me shave again.
305
00:13:26,578 --> 00:13:28,148
‐ Your face looks fine.
306
00:13:28,148 --> 00:13:30,018
‐ It's not my face.
307
00:13:33,859 --> 00:13:36,297
‐ Oh. What?
‐ What?
308
00:13:36,297 --> 00:13:39,471
‐ I need a lawnmower for that!
‐ What do I do?
309
00:13:39,471 --> 00:13:40,473
‐ I can help you,
310
00:13:40,473 --> 00:13:43,078
but we're gonna need
some privacy.
311
00:13:45,917 --> 00:13:47,887
I found it last week.
312
00:13:47,887 --> 00:13:50,893
Your mom's phone
still had battery.
313
00:13:50,893 --> 00:13:52,597
They just...
314
00:13:52,597 --> 00:13:54,868
left it here.
315
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,572
‐ Cool.
316
00:13:56,572 --> 00:13:59,544
♪ ♪
317
00:14:02,484 --> 00:14:05,456
♪ ♪
318
00:14:08,996 --> 00:14:11,200
‐ Okay.
319
00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,338
All right,
where are we going, General?
320
00:14:13,338 --> 00:14:15,910
♪ ♪
321
00:14:15,910 --> 00:14:17,346
No.
322
00:14:17,346 --> 00:14:20,252
No, no, no.
No, don't die on me now.
323
00:14:20,252 --> 00:14:21,488
Come on.
324
00:14:21,488 --> 00:14:22,891
Come on.
325
00:14:22,891 --> 00:14:25,463
♪ ♪
326
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:31,074
Damn it!
327
00:14:31,074 --> 00:14:33,646
Where the hell
am I gonna find a new dish?
328
00:14:35,616 --> 00:14:37,887
♪ ♪
329
00:14:37,887 --> 00:14:39,891
‐ I feel bad doing this.
330
00:14:39,891 --> 00:14:41,995
♪ ♪
331
00:14:41,995 --> 00:14:43,432
‐ Why aren't you looking?
332
00:14:43,432 --> 00:14:45,503
‐ It's against my religion
to look at the naked back
333
00:14:45,503 --> 00:14:48,442
of a man who's not my relative
or my husband.
334
00:14:48,442 --> 00:14:50,646
Plus, it's disgusting.
335
00:14:50,646 --> 00:14:52,517
‐ Is it gonna hurt?
336
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,554
‐ My mom says when she waxes
her legs,
337
00:14:54,554 --> 00:14:58,328
it feels like being stung
by a thousand hornets.
338
00:14:58,328 --> 00:15:00,165
‐ Then why does she do it?
339
00:15:00,165 --> 00:15:02,269
‐ Because as soon
as we hit puberty,
340
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:05,476
Western culture tells women
we're not okay as we are.
341
00:15:05,476 --> 00:15:08,381
We must rip out stuff
that's supposed to be there,
342
00:15:08,381 --> 00:15:10,520
insert stuff that's not
supposed to be there,
343
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:14,326
and bleach everything visible
to the naked eye.
344
00:15:14,326 --> 00:15:16,498
‐ Hey, being a man
is hard, too.
345
00:15:16,498 --> 00:15:19,103
I have to brush
my teeth sometimes.
346
00:15:20,506 --> 00:15:23,278
‐ I take it back.
I don't feel bad anymore.
347
00:15:23,278 --> 00:15:27,252
‐ Aah!
348
00:15:30,392 --> 00:15:32,296
‐ Miguel...
349
00:15:32,296 --> 00:15:34,534
my belle.
350
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,337
‐ What the hell did you
just call me?
351
00:15:36,337 --> 00:15:37,507
‐ No, nothing, bro‐ham.
352
00:15:37,507 --> 00:15:41,047
Just, uh, taking
a little breaky, you know?
353
00:15:41,047 --> 00:15:43,184
A little break‐a‐rindo.
354
00:15:45,155 --> 00:15:46,424
Dog toy.
355
00:15:46,424 --> 00:15:48,361
Oh, you got one
of those, uh, Zen gardens.
356
00:15:48,361 --> 00:15:50,065
I love these things.
357
00:15:50,065 --> 00:15:52,369
May I?
358
00:15:53,672 --> 00:15:57,614
Yep. Yeah, more, uh,
relaxed already.
359
00:15:57,614 --> 00:16:00,553
So, um, I was just wondering‐‐
360
00:16:03,091 --> 00:16:05,730
I'll‐‐I'll get that.
361
00:16:05,730 --> 00:16:08,301
Hey, uh, you ever tried
those wheat beers?
362
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:10,405
You know, the one where
you put the lemon in there?
363
00:16:10,405 --> 00:16:12,142
I hear they're, uh‐‐
they're pretty tasty.
364
00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:13,311
‐ What do you want, bro‐ham?
365
00:16:13,311 --> 00:16:16,184
What, are you asking me out
on a date or something?
366
00:16:16,184 --> 00:16:18,722
‐ No, no.
Uh, well, yeah.
367
00:16:18,722 --> 00:16:21,394
Uh, but a guy date‐‐
guy hang, you know?
368
00:16:21,394 --> 00:16:24,433
Just a couple brews,
mano a mano,
369
00:16:24,433 --> 00:16:27,072
"caliente accione."
370
00:16:27,072 --> 00:16:28,609
‐ Look, I ain't got time
for that, okay?
371
00:16:28,609 --> 00:16:30,212
I take care of
my father at home.
372
00:16:30,212 --> 00:16:31,548
‐ Sure.
373
00:16:31,548 --> 00:16:33,017
‐ Now, I need you to clean up
all this damn sand
374
00:16:33,017 --> 00:16:34,353
'cause I need 30 minutes
of raking every day
375
00:16:34,353 --> 00:16:35,556
so I can relax.
376
00:16:35,556 --> 00:16:37,560
‐ I happen to know
that Lewis would love
377
00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,664
to get out of the house
and have a beer.
378
00:16:43,104 --> 00:16:45,041
‐ I'll think about it.
How about that?
379
00:16:45,041 --> 00:16:47,547
I'll‐‐I'll think about it.
‐ He'll definitely be there.
380
00:16:47,547 --> 00:16:50,620
‐ ♪ I've got you stuck
in my head ♪
381
00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:52,557
‐ Thanks for letting us crash
your party.
382
00:16:52,557 --> 00:16:54,360
‐ The more, the merrier.
383
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:56,532
You know, a few GN59s ago,
384
00:16:56,532 --> 00:16:58,636
we actually needed
a few extra people
385
00:16:58,636 --> 00:17:01,407
and a wheelbarrow
to carry D'arcy home.
386
00:17:01,407 --> 00:17:02,777
‐ Oh, wait. No.
387
00:17:02,777 --> 00:17:05,248
‐ Yeah.
I came prepared this time.
388
00:17:05,248 --> 00:17:07,654
I might need to make
a quick getaway, so...
389
00:17:07,654 --> 00:17:10,191
Hey. Hi.
‐ Hi.
390
00:17:11,628 --> 00:17:13,464
‐ Hi.
‐ Hi, this is my cousin Carlyn.
391
00:17:13,464 --> 00:17:14,801
‐ Hi. Kayla.
‐ Hey.
392
00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,605
‐ Nice to meet you.
‐ Are you okay? What happened?
393
00:17:16,605 --> 00:17:18,107
‐ Yeah, is everything okay
with Shane?
394
00:17:18,107 --> 00:17:19,276
‐ Yes. Yeah, he's fine.
395
00:17:19,276 --> 00:17:20,478
I just needed
to get out of the house.
396
00:17:20,478 --> 00:17:22,550
‐ Oh, okay, I was worried.
397
00:17:22,550 --> 00:17:25,188
‐ Can I just say‐‐
as a mom, I'm with you.
398
00:17:25,188 --> 00:17:28,261
Sometimes needing to get out
of the house is an emergency.
399
00:17:28,261 --> 00:17:29,631
‐ Yes. Yes, thank you.
400
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:32,336
You know, you just need
a kid‐ and a man‐free zone.
401
00:17:32,336 --> 00:17:33,772
‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ Amen to that.
402
00:17:33,772 --> 00:17:35,776
I mean, I don't have a kid
or a man,
403
00:17:35,776 --> 00:17:39,651
but, you know, anecdotal
evidence would support that.
404
00:17:39,651 --> 00:17:42,189
The town I live in,
all the men really suck.
405
00:17:42,189 --> 00:17:44,460
My lab supervisor thinks
grabbing my buttocks
406
00:17:44,460 --> 00:17:45,596
is one of his job perks.
407
00:17:45,596 --> 00:17:47,165
‐ Ew.
‐ I was really beginning
408
00:17:47,165 --> 00:17:49,236
to think I was never gonna meet
a nice guy.
409
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,673
Till today, that is.
410
00:17:50,673 --> 00:17:52,577
‐ Wait, you met a guy here?
‐ Mm‐hmm.
411
00:17:52,577 --> 00:17:54,246
‐ Today?
‐ In Patience?
412
00:17:54,246 --> 00:17:56,484
‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ No way. Who?
413
00:18:00,158 --> 00:18:01,560
‐ Jesus God.
‐ Oh.
414
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:07,840
♪ ♪
415
00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:19,129
‐ ♪ I've got you stuck
in my head ♪
416
00:18:19,129 --> 00:18:20,733
‐ What are you doing here?
417
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,704
You told me that every minute
you're not working on the radio
418
00:18:22,704 --> 00:18:26,243
is a minute we all come closer
to certain death.
419
00:18:26,243 --> 00:18:28,314
‐ I am working on the radio,
420
00:18:28,314 --> 00:18:31,187
but without a diffuser,
it will never work.
421
00:18:31,187 --> 00:18:33,892
The pony‐haired one's cousin
422
00:18:33,892 --> 00:18:37,132
is a scientist in a lab...
423
00:18:37,132 --> 00:18:39,570
that uses portable diffusers.
424
00:18:39,570 --> 00:18:41,440
‐ So what?
425
00:18:41,440 --> 00:18:44,814
‐ I know that I am not
as pretty as E. T.
426
00:18:46,417 --> 00:18:48,521
‐ I do not have
his bulbous football head
427
00:18:48,521 --> 00:18:51,895
or his squat corgi legs
or his...
428
00:18:51,895 --> 00:18:54,233
platypus feet,
429
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:57,674
but I can be a charming alien
430
00:18:57,674 --> 00:19:00,378
when I need to be.
431
00:19:00,378 --> 00:19:01,580
Mm, mm, mm.
432
00:19:01,580 --> 00:19:04,520
‐ ♪ When you were here
before ♪
433
00:19:06,725 --> 00:19:08,729
‐ So do you come here a lot?
434
00:19:08,729 --> 00:19:11,400
♪ ♪
435
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,237
‐ Mm.
436
00:19:13,237 --> 00:19:15,508
Of all the gin joints
in all the world,
437
00:19:15,508 --> 00:19:17,780
this one is closest
to my house.
438
00:19:21,788 --> 00:19:26,497
♪ ♪
439
00:19:26,497 --> 00:19:30,773
‐ ♪ I wish I was special ♪
440
00:19:30,773 --> 00:19:32,509
♪ You're so very... ♪
441
00:19:32,509 --> 00:19:34,748
‐ What is that perfume?
442
00:19:34,748 --> 00:19:38,287
‐ Jergens Intense
Moisture Therapy.
443
00:19:38,287 --> 00:19:41,627
I did a BM earlier,
so I had to wash them.
444
00:19:41,627 --> 00:19:42,864
I get acute dermatitis
445
00:19:42,864 --> 00:19:44,801
'cause I scrub them so often
in the lab,
446
00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:47,305
so I carry it in my purse.
447
00:19:47,305 --> 00:19:51,514
‐ Mm. I don't wash my hands
after I urinate.
448
00:19:53,217 --> 00:19:57,325
The skin on my penis
is very clean.
449
00:19:57,325 --> 00:20:03,604
‐ ♪ I don't belong here ♪
450
00:20:03,604 --> 00:20:08,849
♪ ♪
451
00:20:08,849 --> 00:20:10,418
‐ Gram keeps asking
about Harry.
452
00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:12,890
‐ Uh‐huh.
‐ I think she likes him.
453
00:20:12,890 --> 00:20:14,861
I think she wants you
to have his baby.
454
00:20:14,861 --> 00:20:16,798
‐ Ew! Gross! Shut up!
455
00:20:16,798 --> 00:20:18,634
You shut up.
456
00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:19,838
‐ Hey, actually, can I ask
457
00:20:19,838 --> 00:20:21,742
your professional opinion
about something?
458
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:23,344
‐ Mm‐hmm.
459
00:20:23,344 --> 00:20:25,315
‐ What do you think is gonna
happen to Abigail Hodges?
460
00:20:25,315 --> 00:20:26,484
You know, Sam's wife?
461
00:20:26,484 --> 00:20:28,756
Um, you think
she's gonna go to jail?
462
00:20:28,756 --> 00:20:30,760
‐ You know, criminal law
isn't really my area,
463
00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:32,362
but from what I've read,
464
00:20:32,362 --> 00:20:33,799
I don't think
they're gonna get a conviction.
465
00:20:33,799 --> 00:20:35,702
‐ Oh.
‐ Yeah, sorry.
466
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,339
‐ No, that's good.
‐ Oh.
467
00:20:37,339 --> 00:20:39,643
‐ Um, you know, I mean,
if she‐‐if she didn't do it.
468
00:20:39,643 --> 00:20:41,982
‐ Oh, but she probably did.
I mean, it's always the spouse.
469
00:20:41,982 --> 00:20:43,251
I'm a lawyer, too.
470
00:20:43,251 --> 00:20:44,720
‐ No way.
Where do you practice?
471
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,390
‐ I don't.
472
00:20:46,390 --> 00:20:49,596
I gave up my dream to be a mom
and live in this tiny town.
473
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,300
Now I'm happy. Shots?
474
00:20:51,300 --> 00:20:54,373
♪ ♪
475
00:20:54,373 --> 00:20:56,845
‐ I would like to...
476
00:20:56,845 --> 00:20:59,583
go by your work.
477
00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:01,822
Maybe you could give me
a tour of your lab.
478
00:21:01,822 --> 00:21:03,357
‐ Oh.
‐ Mm‐hmm.
479
00:21:03,357 --> 00:21:04,726
‐ I love
that you're interested.
480
00:21:04,726 --> 00:21:06,697
That's very flattering,
but I can't.
481
00:21:06,697 --> 00:21:08,301
‐ Oh.
482
00:21:08,301 --> 00:21:12,309
‐ Security is so tight,
not dissimilar to my vagina.
483
00:21:12,309 --> 00:21:14,346
‐ Your vagina is like a lab?
484
00:21:14,346 --> 00:21:18,688
‐ Yeah, it's‐‐
it's tough to get in.
485
00:21:18,688 --> 00:21:19,924
‐ It is?
486
00:21:19,924 --> 00:21:22,362
‐ Lots of neat stuff
once you're there.
487
00:21:22,362 --> 00:21:25,401
‐ Are there monkeys in cages?
‐ No.
488
00:21:26,437 --> 00:21:28,976
‐ Maybe it would be funny...
489
00:21:28,976 --> 00:21:30,378
Ha ha ha!
490
00:21:30,378 --> 00:21:32,917
A big joke if you stole
491
00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:36,657
a telemetry diffuser...
492
00:21:36,657 --> 00:21:38,728
‐ And gave it to me.
493
00:21:38,728 --> 00:21:41,500
‐ They would freak out.
494
00:21:41,500 --> 00:21:44,773
‐ They would freak out.
You could be so funny.
495
00:21:44,773 --> 00:21:47,546
You're a kidder.
496
00:21:47,546 --> 00:21:49,918
‐ You should do it.
497
00:21:49,918 --> 00:21:52,022
‐ Oh, my God.
‐ Do it!
498
00:21:52,022 --> 00:21:54,793
‐ No.
‐ Do it.
499
00:21:54,793 --> 00:21:57,532
‐ But you are so sweet to ask.
500
00:21:57,532 --> 00:21:59,603
♪ ♪
501
00:22:01,607 --> 00:22:06,918
♪ ♪
502
00:22:06,918 --> 00:22:09,423
Oh.
503
00:22:13,497 --> 00:22:16,403
‐ Hey, is that Liv?
504
00:22:16,403 --> 00:22:18,107
Tell her to hurry up.
She's late.
505
00:22:18,107 --> 00:22:20,812
‐ Uh, no, it's just Jay.
Just guy drama.
506
00:22:20,812 --> 00:22:23,952
‐ Oh. Wow, you‐‐you guys text?
507
00:22:23,952 --> 00:22:26,657
‐ Yeah, mostly emojis.
Mostly eggplants.
508
00:22:26,657 --> 00:22:29,563
‐ Wow, that's cool.
You guys are buddies now.
509
00:22:29,563 --> 00:22:31,834
‐ Hey, GN59rs.
510
00:22:31,834 --> 00:22:33,371
Hey!
‐ Sorry, I'm late!
511
00:22:33,371 --> 00:22:35,408
Trixie wouldn't start.
I had to jump her again.
512
00:22:35,408 --> 00:22:36,844
‐ Thank God
you're finally here.
513
00:22:36,844 --> 00:22:38,982
‐ Hey‐o! Sorry!
I'm late, too.
514
00:22:38,982 --> 00:22:42,455
But I'm here, though,
finally, right?
515
00:22:42,455 --> 00:22:45,094
Ooh, thank you.
I could use that.
516
00:22:45,094 --> 00:22:47,866
‐ That's‐‐
Never mind.
517
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:49,436
‐ Ugh, what is that?
518
00:22:49,436 --> 00:22:50,973
‐ It's a gin and tonic.
519
00:22:50,973 --> 00:22:52,676
Oh.
520
00:22:52,676 --> 00:22:54,646
‐ Ugh, it's, like, fancy.
521
00:22:54,646 --> 00:22:56,985
Okay, I got to piss.
I'll be back.
522
00:22:59,056 --> 00:23:00,792
‐ You text her?
‐ No!
523
00:23:00,792 --> 00:23:03,864
How does she always know?
‐ She always knows.
524
00:23:03,864 --> 00:23:06,604
♪ ♪
525
00:23:06,604 --> 00:23:08,407
‐ All right.
526
00:23:08,407 --> 00:23:10,545
All right, this is great.
527
00:23:10,545 --> 00:23:12,549
Nope, wife in the corner.
We're out of here.
528
00:23:12,549 --> 00:23:14,119
‐ Where else do you plan
to go, son?
529
00:23:14,119 --> 00:23:16,757
This isn't New York City.
530
00:23:16,757 --> 00:23:19,029
‐ Hey! Benny!
531
00:23:19,029 --> 00:23:21,166
Your girl's
safe with me, okay?
532
00:23:21,166 --> 00:23:23,871
But am I safe with her?
‐ Oh.
533
00:23:26,043 --> 00:23:28,381
‐ Do you have any beer
with rat poison in it?
534
00:23:31,955 --> 00:23:34,059
‐ ♪ Swing, little darling ♪
535
00:23:34,059 --> 00:23:36,130
♪ Swing until your daddy
come home ♪
536
00:23:36,130 --> 00:23:37,766
‐ Kate, you did good.
537
00:23:37,766 --> 00:23:40,772
It was so nice of Ben to take
the Sheriff out for a drink.
538
00:23:40,772 --> 00:23:42,442
‐ Ben is so sweet.
539
00:23:42,442 --> 00:23:45,048
‐ No, he's not.
He's a dirty little bitch.
540
00:23:45,048 --> 00:23:47,052
‐ Hmm.
‐ I'm sorry?
541
00:23:47,052 --> 00:23:50,091
Gird your loins, ladies.
542
00:23:50,091 --> 00:23:51,962
I think Kendra has arrived.
‐ Oh, yeah.
543
00:23:51,962 --> 00:23:55,234
The mayor is
a nasty piece of work.
544
00:23:55,234 --> 00:23:57,439
I cannot wait to get home
545
00:23:57,439 --> 00:23:59,176
and let him slap
a puppy hood on me
546
00:23:59,176 --> 00:24:00,812
and jam a ball gag in my mouth.
547
00:24:00,812 --> 00:24:02,082
‐ Oh, what?
548
00:24:02,082 --> 00:24:05,054
‐ Ben‐‐
the one who makes candles?
549
00:24:05,054 --> 00:24:07,659
‐ Uh, the wax he has
isn't just for candles.
550
00:24:07,659 --> 00:24:10,231
I have a nine‐inch ice dildo
in my freezer
551
00:24:10,231 --> 00:24:12,202
that Max thinks is
for my water bottles.
552
00:24:15,041 --> 00:24:16,910
‐ Oh, God,
this is my favorite night.
553
00:24:16,910 --> 00:24:19,049
This is the best night
of my life.
554
00:24:19,049 --> 00:24:21,487
‐ Can you please stop looking
at your wife?
555
00:24:21,487 --> 00:24:23,257
It's weird.
‐ Look, I, uh‐‐
556
00:24:23,257 --> 00:24:25,128
I got to talk to you
about something.
557
00:24:25,128 --> 00:24:27,132
It's driving me crazy.
558
00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,636
Okay, so, about a week ago,
559
00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:32,142
D'arcy sort of...
560
00:24:32,142 --> 00:24:34,846
kissed me.
561
00:24:34,846 --> 00:24:37,652
It was a drive‐by.
Not my fault.
562
00:24:37,652 --> 00:24:39,956
No tongue.
563
00:24:39,956 --> 00:24:41,593
Some tongue.
564
00:24:41,593 --> 00:24:44,099
I just‐‐I really think
that I should tell Kate.
565
00:24:44,099 --> 00:24:46,070
‐ Have you‐‐
have you lost your mind?
566
00:24:46,070 --> 00:24:47,806
You don't ever tell, never.
567
00:24:47,806 --> 00:24:50,144
‐ Now, hold on a minute‐‐the
man said he didn't reciprocate.
568
00:24:50,144 --> 00:24:51,714
‐ It don't matter.
569
00:24:51,714 --> 00:24:53,284
This is something you take
to your grave, okay?
570
00:24:53,284 --> 00:24:55,154
‐ Well, maybe I could, um‐‐
571
00:24:55,154 --> 00:24:56,523
I could write her a note,
572
00:24:56,523 --> 00:24:58,227
you know,
explaining what happened.
573
00:24:58,227 --> 00:24:59,863
‐ You want to‐‐
you want to write her a note?
574
00:24:59,863 --> 00:25:02,002
Okay. All right, look,
here's what I want you to do.
575
00:25:02,002 --> 00:25:03,270
Here go $5.
576
00:25:03,270 --> 00:25:05,174
Now, I want you to go down
to the mall.
577
00:25:05,174 --> 00:25:06,877
All right, you know that kiosk
578
00:25:06,877 --> 00:25:08,681
where they'll write your name
on a grain of rice?
579
00:25:08,681 --> 00:25:10,118
Right, you're gonna give
that guy that $5.
580
00:25:10,118 --> 00:25:12,055
He gonna write your note
on the end of a bullet, right?
581
00:25:12,055 --> 00:25:13,624
Now, I want you
to take that bullet.
582
00:25:13,624 --> 00:25:15,028
I want you to put it in a gun
and go home
583
00:25:15,028 --> 00:25:16,296
and stand in your bathtub.
584
00:25:16,296 --> 00:25:17,866
Now, you also gonna need
a phone book‐‐
585
00:25:17,866 --> 00:25:19,236
not something thin
like Patience,
586
00:25:19,236 --> 00:25:21,874
something with some girth
like‐‐like Denver, right?
587
00:25:21,874 --> 00:25:23,110
And you gonna put
that phone book
588
00:25:23,110 --> 00:25:24,279
up against one side
of your head,
589
00:25:24,279 --> 00:25:25,681
and you gonna take that gun
590
00:25:25,681 --> 00:25:27,252
and put it
against the other side, right?
591
00:25:27,252 --> 00:25:28,988
And then you're gonna shoot you
right in the head,
592
00:25:28,988 --> 00:25:31,293
and that bullet's gonna fly
right through and lodge itself
593
00:25:31,293 --> 00:25:34,232
right around the D's,
for dumbass.
594
00:25:34,232 --> 00:25:35,868
And she'll get your note.
595
00:25:35,868 --> 00:25:38,574
♪ ♪
596
00:25:38,574 --> 00:25:39,609
‐ But I'm dead.
597
00:25:39,609 --> 00:25:41,714
‐ You tell her,
you dead anyway.
598
00:25:44,553 --> 00:25:48,026
‐ You guys, what the hell
is happening over there?
599
00:25:48,026 --> 00:25:51,233
‐ Ooh, I think we know
what's going to happen.
600
00:25:51,233 --> 00:25:54,139
Oh...
‐ I don't‐‐I don't trust him.
601
00:25:54,139 --> 00:25:56,977
‐ Your pulse is quickening.
602
00:25:56,977 --> 00:25:59,916
Your upper sternum
is becoming flushed.
603
00:25:59,916 --> 00:26:02,288
You are becoming aroused.
604
00:26:02,288 --> 00:26:04,192
‐ I am now.
‐ Hey, Harry.
605
00:26:04,192 --> 00:26:06,130
Can I please talk to you
for a second?
606
00:26:06,130 --> 00:26:09,102
‐ I am so busy.
‐ Now.
607
00:26:09,102 --> 00:26:11,740
♪ ♪
608
00:26:11,740 --> 00:26:13,042
‐ Don't go changing.
609
00:26:13,042 --> 00:26:16,817
♪ ♪
610
00:26:16,817 --> 00:26:18,287
What is it?
611
00:26:18,287 --> 00:26:22,060
She is about to present
like an engorged macaque.
612
00:26:22,060 --> 00:26:24,666
‐ You are preying
on this woman.
613
00:26:24,666 --> 00:26:25,902
‐ I am not preying on her.
614
00:26:25,902 --> 00:26:28,774
I am seducing her so
I can steal her security badge,
615
00:26:28,774 --> 00:26:33,082
then I can break into the lab
and steal a diffuser,
616
00:26:33,082 --> 00:26:35,822
and then finish my radio.
617
00:26:35,822 --> 00:26:37,024
‐ That's a terrible plan.
618
00:26:37,024 --> 00:26:39,094
You're gonna swipe her badge
619
00:26:39,094 --> 00:26:41,333
and‐‐and just use it
at some high‐security lab
620
00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:42,969
and think no one will notice?
621
00:26:42,969 --> 00:26:44,339
More importantly,
622
00:26:44,339 --> 00:26:46,910
you‐‐you can't just use people
like that.
623
00:26:46,910 --> 00:26:48,814
It's cruel.
624
00:26:48,814 --> 00:26:50,952
‐ I am giving her compliments.
625
00:26:50,952 --> 00:26:54,058
She is happy like a baby,
626
00:26:54,058 --> 00:26:56,930
like a stupid, happy baby.
627
00:26:56,930 --> 00:27:01,807
‐ You'll just never understand
what it's like to be a woman.
628
00:27:01,807 --> 00:27:03,644
‐ That is true.
629
00:27:03,644 --> 00:27:07,185
♪ ♪
630
00:27:07,185 --> 00:27:09,322
I am going to leave now.
631
00:27:11,260 --> 00:27:13,096
Good night!
632
00:27:14,399 --> 00:27:17,070
‐ Wait, what just happened?
‐ Uh...
633
00:27:17,070 --> 00:27:20,076
‐ What‐‐what did I do?
‐ Nothing. I'm sorry.
634
00:27:20,076 --> 00:27:23,116
All the men
in this town suck, too.
635
00:27:23,116 --> 00:27:26,223
♪ ♪
636
00:27:36,042 --> 00:27:40,384
♪ ♪
637
00:27:40,384 --> 00:27:41,820
‐ Don't sweat it, Carly Q.
638
00:27:41,820 --> 00:27:43,424
It's supposed to be
a girls' night anyway.
639
00:27:43,424 --> 00:27:44,993
‐ Yeah, that's easy
for you to say.
640
00:27:44,993 --> 00:27:46,797
I saw that ice dildo
in your freezer.
641
00:27:46,797 --> 00:27:49,001
‐ Whoo!
‐ Okay, all right.
642
00:27:49,001 --> 00:27:50,738
Okay, uh, Judy's clothes
are coming off.
643
00:27:50,738 --> 00:27:52,675
Time to go to the yacht spot.
Come on.
644
00:27:52,675 --> 00:27:54,212
‐ Ooh, we're going on a boat?
645
00:27:54,212 --> 00:27:56,015
‐ Uh, no, Asta used to have
this station wagon
646
00:27:56,015 --> 00:27:57,886
we called "The Yacht,"
and we'd drive it
647
00:27:57,886 --> 00:28:00,458
to the middle of the woods
and drink and sing like idiots.
648
00:28:00,458 --> 00:28:02,160
‐ And, plus,
it's where I usually barf,
649
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:03,898
so it's kind of like a boat
in that way.
650
00:28:03,898 --> 00:28:05,166
‐ Oh.
‐ I should go.
651
00:28:05,166 --> 00:28:07,205
You know, I got to get up early
and drive, so...
652
00:28:07,205 --> 00:28:08,440
No.
653
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:09,976
‐ Okay.
Well, I'll come with you.
654
00:28:09,976 --> 00:28:11,446
‐ No, no, no, you stay.
I'm fine.
655
00:28:11,446 --> 00:28:13,884
‐ You sure?
‐ Uh, she's sure.
656
00:28:13,884 --> 00:28:15,788
When you brought ice dildos
into this conversation,
657
00:28:15,788 --> 00:28:17,325
you made a commitment
to this night.
658
00:28:18,827 --> 00:28:21,198
‐ This takes me back, man.
You want to go back?
659
00:28:23,470 --> 00:28:26,810
What?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
660
00:28:26,810 --> 00:28:29,816
‐ You feel it, Sheriff?
‐ Ah...
661
00:28:29,816 --> 00:28:32,855
‐ You want to feel it?
‐ Oh, Lord, have mercy.
662
00:28:32,855 --> 00:28:34,392
‐ Aw, come on.
Dance with the girl.
663
00:28:34,392 --> 00:28:35,494
‐ Is that what you call it?
664
00:28:35,494 --> 00:28:37,865
Hey, don't be pushing me
off the stool.
665
00:28:37,865 --> 00:28:40,771
What's wrong with you? Okay.
All right, yeah, go ahead.
666
00:28:40,771 --> 00:28:43,277
‐ Hey, hon, you, uh‐‐you
heading home to pay the sitter?
667
00:28:43,277 --> 00:28:46,950
‐ Nope, you pay her.
We are going to the yacht spot.
668
00:28:46,950 --> 00:28:49,489
‐ Ooh.
669
00:28:49,489 --> 00:28:52,829
‐ I cannot wait
for the re‐election campaign.
670
00:28:52,829 --> 00:28:55,133
It's‐‐Respect, okay?
671
00:28:55,133 --> 00:28:57,004
‐ We're so proud of you.
‐ I'm really proud of you.
672
00:28:57,004 --> 00:28:59,342
‐ Do you need‐‐do you need ice
in that drink?
673
00:28:59,342 --> 00:29:02,180
‐ Oh, yeah.
674
00:29:02,180 --> 00:29:05,821
‐ Tell me more about the guy
who does the rice thing.
675
00:29:09,262 --> 00:29:16,343
♪ ♪
676
00:29:31,406 --> 00:29:38,520
♪ ♪
677
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:41,225
‐ You remember
class camping trips out here?
678
00:29:41,225 --> 00:29:43,129
‐ Yes.
679
00:29:43,129 --> 00:29:46,370
Third grade,
D'arcy rolling in poison ivy...
680
00:29:46,370 --> 00:29:48,407
on a dare.
681
00:29:48,407 --> 00:29:50,411
We had to take turns
itching her.
682
00:29:50,411 --> 00:29:53,116
‐ Oh, my God.
683
00:29:53,116 --> 00:29:55,253
Oh.
684
00:29:55,253 --> 00:29:58,126
She's always been so her.
685
00:29:58,126 --> 00:30:00,196
She's free.
686
00:30:00,196 --> 00:30:02,468
Not everyone can be like that.
687
00:30:03,837 --> 00:30:06,810
‐ Everyone loves her.
688
00:30:06,810 --> 00:30:09,516
It's a superpower...
689
00:30:09,516 --> 00:30:12,455
not caring what anyone thinks.
690
00:30:14,291 --> 00:30:16,028
‐ Everyone loves you, too.
691
00:30:16,028 --> 00:30:19,402
‐ Yes, but it's only
because I'm nice.
692
00:30:20,905 --> 00:30:22,909
You gave me a ticket once
693
00:30:22,909 --> 00:30:24,913
for locking my bike
to a stop sign.
694
00:30:24,913 --> 00:30:27,618
You're not that nice.
695
00:30:27,618 --> 00:30:31,325
♪ ♪
696
00:30:34,298 --> 00:30:36,903
♪ ♪
697
00:30:36,903 --> 00:30:39,376
‐ Oh, Christ on a cracker!
698
00:30:39,376 --> 00:30:40,911
‐ What?
‐ No!
699
00:30:40,911 --> 00:30:42,047
‐ No!
700
00:30:42,047 --> 00:30:44,486
‐ Oh, relax,
you complete degenerates.
701
00:30:44,486 --> 00:30:47,592
I keep a battery charger
in my trunk!
702
00:30:47,592 --> 00:30:50,296
‐ Poop car! Poop car!
703
00:30:50,296 --> 00:30:53,904
‐ Oh, Liv, I can't believe you
still drive this death trap.
704
00:30:53,904 --> 00:30:56,275
‐ Oh, it's fine.
I'm used to it.
705
00:30:56,275 --> 00:30:59,281
‐ You know, I read recently
that they make new cars now.
706
00:30:59,281 --> 00:31:03,457
‐ John wants
a new riding mower,
707
00:31:03,457 --> 00:31:05,961
and we have money
set aside for that, so...
708
00:31:05,961 --> 00:31:07,632
‐ John's getting
a new riding mower
709
00:31:07,632 --> 00:31:09,469
before you get a car
that actually works?
710
00:31:09,469 --> 00:31:10,938
‐ Well, it was my idea.
711
00:31:10,938 --> 00:31:12,608
He makes more than I do,
so it's fair.
712
00:31:12,608 --> 00:31:15,246
‐ Hold up.
John makes more than you?
713
00:31:15,246 --> 00:31:17,017
I do what John does.
714
00:31:17,017 --> 00:31:18,987
You put your life
on the line every day.
715
00:31:18,987 --> 00:31:22,395
When‐‐when's the last time
you got a raise?
716
00:31:22,395 --> 00:31:24,566
‐ I've never gotten a raise.
717
00:31:24,566 --> 00:31:26,335
‐ What?
Oh.
718
00:31:26,335 --> 00:31:29,041
‐ Okay, no, no.
‐ Wow.
719
00:31:29,041 --> 00:31:31,312
‐ I'm not sure
this is a good idea.
720
00:31:31,312 --> 00:31:33,951
‐ Oh, it's not,
but we're doing it anyway.
721
00:31:33,951 --> 00:31:35,220
‐ As a city employee,
722
00:31:35,220 --> 00:31:37,224
your salary is part
of the town's budget.
723
00:31:37,224 --> 00:31:40,063
So we got to figure out
how big is this pie
724
00:31:40,063 --> 00:31:42,100
and why is your piece
so goddamn small.
725
00:31:42,100 --> 00:31:45,039
‐ Especially when
you're a freakin' Picasso.
726
00:31:45,039 --> 00:31:47,512
Did you draw this picture?
727
00:31:47,512 --> 00:31:50,250
‐ Yeah, I draw police
composites of criminals,
728
00:31:50,250 --> 00:31:51,520
which we are now.
729
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:54,692
‐ Hey! This is my
husband's office, okay?
730
00:31:54,692 --> 00:31:56,496
We can be wherever we want.
731
00:31:56,496 --> 00:31:59,268
‐ We didn't technically
break in, because we had a key.
732
00:32:00,971 --> 00:32:02,240
‐ Judy!
‐ Judy!
733
00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:05,079
‐ Shh! Stop!
734
00:32:05,079 --> 00:32:06,415
‐ Wait, found it, found it,
found it.
735
00:32:06,415 --> 00:32:09,956
"Civic Payroll for the Town
of Patience, Colorado."
736
00:32:09,956 --> 00:32:11,258
‐ No one's gonna know.
737
00:32:11,258 --> 00:32:12,495
‐ As a woman in this world,
738
00:32:12,495 --> 00:32:15,468
you need to fight
for what you deserve.
739
00:32:15,468 --> 00:32:19,241
And you deserve
a goddamn raise.
740
00:32:19,241 --> 00:32:22,949
Ugh. Jesus Christ!
Who's Peter Jignac?
741
00:32:22,949 --> 00:32:25,353
‐ I think he's, um,
a crossing guard, I think.
742
00:32:25,353 --> 00:32:27,290
‐ He makes enough for a new
riding mower and a new car.
743
00:32:27,290 --> 00:32:28,594
‐ What?
744
00:32:28,594 --> 00:32:31,031
‐ Who's Brandon Touter?
‐ Oh.
745
00:32:31,031 --> 00:32:32,602
He's the new science teacher.
746
00:32:32,602 --> 00:32:34,539
He's actually
a really nice guy.
747
00:32:34,539 --> 00:32:36,308
‐ Well, he makes twice
what you do.
748
00:32:36,308 --> 00:32:38,514
‐ Prick.
749
00:32:38,514 --> 00:32:40,450
‐ What? Weren't you a lawyer?
750
00:32:40,450 --> 00:32:43,289
‐ I have a JD/PhD.
What the ‐‐‐‐?
751
00:32:43,289 --> 00:32:46,428
‐ Who the hell is in charge
of this budget?
752
00:32:46,428 --> 00:32:48,232
‐ I know who.
753
00:32:48,232 --> 00:32:50,403
He lives in my goddamn house.
754
00:32:50,403 --> 00:32:53,610
‐ ♪ For all the ones
who bum me out ♪
755
00:32:53,610 --> 00:32:55,346
‐ ♪ Shit list ♪
756
00:32:55,346 --> 00:32:57,685
‐ ♪ For all the ones who fill
my head with doubt ♪
757
00:32:57,685 --> 00:32:59,254
‐ ♪ Shit list ♪
758
00:32:59,254 --> 00:33:01,425
‐ ♪ For all the squares
who get me pissed ♪
759
00:33:01,425 --> 00:33:02,595
‐ ♪ Shit list ♪
760
00:33:02,595 --> 00:33:05,300
‐ ♪ You've made my shit list ♪
761
00:33:05,300 --> 00:33:10,443
♪ Shit list ♪
762
00:33:10,443 --> 00:33:15,286
♪ ♪
763
00:33:16,388 --> 00:33:18,794
Kidnappers!
764
00:33:18,794 --> 00:33:21,265
‐ Oh, no. Oh, no. Nope.
765
00:33:21,265 --> 00:33:22,735
‐ Wake up.
766
00:33:22,735 --> 00:33:24,706
‐ You're not having
a nightmare, Ben. We are.
767
00:33:24,706 --> 00:33:26,208
‐ You know what's a nightmare?
768
00:33:26,208 --> 00:33:28,780
Getting paid 76 cents
on the dollar.
769
00:33:28,780 --> 00:33:29,682
‐ What?
770
00:33:29,682 --> 00:33:31,218
‐ Yeah, there is
a blatant pay gap
771
00:33:31,218 --> 00:33:33,624
between the male and female
employees of this town.
772
00:33:33,624 --> 00:33:36,596
‐ What? No, a‐a‐as mayor,
I only sign off on budgets‐‐
773
00:33:36,596 --> 00:33:38,800
‐ A‐a‐as mayor,
you need to fix this!
774
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:40,103
‐ Mm‐hmm.
775
00:33:40,103 --> 00:33:41,606
‐ Yeah, the blatant sexism
makes me sick.
776
00:33:41,606 --> 00:33:43,209
‐ Yeah, damn right.
‐ Sick.
777
00:33:43,209 --> 00:33:44,511
‐ Oh, honey.
‐ It's really gross.
778
00:33:44,511 --> 00:33:45,581
‐ Sick to my stomach.
‐ No, no.
779
00:33:45,581 --> 00:33:47,718
‐ Oh.
‐ Oh, God, no.
780
00:33:47,718 --> 00:33:50,423
‐ Oh.
781
00:33:50,423 --> 00:33:52,127
‐ You're my best friend.
782
00:33:52,127 --> 00:33:53,697
‐ That's right.
‐ I love you.
783
00:33:53,697 --> 00:33:55,400
‐ You see that?
‐ It's coming up.
784
00:33:57,705 --> 00:33:59,274
‐ It hurts.
785
00:34:03,316 --> 00:34:05,119
‐ Harry.
786
00:34:05,119 --> 00:34:07,123
I brought coffee.
787
00:34:08,660 --> 00:34:11,365
We're gonna need to make a plan
about that radio‐‐
788
00:34:11,365 --> 00:34:13,135
Oh, God!
789
00:34:13,135 --> 00:34:15,406
No! Don't tell me
you hooked up with Harry.
790
00:34:15,406 --> 00:34:17,444
‐ Okay, I will not.
791
00:34:22,420 --> 00:34:24,157
‐ Wait.
792
00:34:27,163 --> 00:34:34,111
♪ ♪
793
00:34:35,546 --> 00:34:37,484
Harry?
‐ Hi, Asta.
794
00:34:37,484 --> 00:34:40,156
‐ Oh, God! Shit!
795
00:34:40,156 --> 00:34:41,860
‐ You have to come with me
to New Mexico,
796
00:34:41,860 --> 00:34:44,264
but, first, can you teach me
how to pee?
797
00:34:57,792 --> 00:35:00,764
‐ She hasn't blinked
the entire trip.
798
00:35:00,764 --> 00:35:02,902
♪ ♪
799
00:35:02,902 --> 00:35:05,874
Oh, this is wrong, Harry.
800
00:35:05,874 --> 00:35:09,214
♪ ♪
801
00:35:09,214 --> 00:35:10,718
Ooh.
802
00:35:10,718 --> 00:35:13,155
Ah!
Wrong and super weird.
803
00:35:13,155 --> 00:35:15,326
‐ It was your idea for me
to become her.
804
00:35:15,326 --> 00:35:18,132
‐ No, no, no, no, no,
do not put this on me.
805
00:35:18,132 --> 00:35:19,902
I would never tell you
to take over a woman's body
806
00:35:19,902 --> 00:35:21,605
without her consent.
807
00:35:21,605 --> 00:35:23,810
‐ She wanted me to take over
her body last night
808
00:35:23,810 --> 00:35:26,750
with my penis,
but I did not do that.
809
00:35:26,750 --> 00:35:28,820
‐ Oh, God, no.
810
00:35:28,820 --> 00:35:31,760
It's not just
about her body, okay?
811
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:34,197
It's a whole life
we're invading.
812
00:35:34,197 --> 00:35:36,302
There has to be a better way.
813
00:35:36,302 --> 00:35:38,840
‐ To access a microsatellite
network in time
814
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:41,211
to tell my people
not to come here
815
00:35:41,211 --> 00:35:45,219
and melt you all like crayons
in a hot car?
816
00:35:45,219 --> 00:35:46,622
I'll wait.
817
00:35:46,622 --> 00:35:48,727
Shit.
818
00:35:48,727 --> 00:35:51,700
Shit. Shit.
819
00:35:51,700 --> 00:35:54,672
‐ Right here?
‐ No, no, Harry.
820
00:35:54,672 --> 00:35:56,910
Let's just get this over with.
821
00:35:56,910 --> 00:35:58,512
That's what you were wearing
last night,
822
00:35:58,512 --> 00:36:00,616
so you have to go change
before you get to the lab.
823
00:36:00,616 --> 00:36:03,322
‐ This body is quite stout.
824
00:36:03,322 --> 00:36:04,792
‐ Hurry.
825
00:36:04,792 --> 00:36:06,628
‐ Fine.
826
00:36:06,628 --> 00:36:08,432
‐ This doesn't make any sense.
827
00:36:08,432 --> 00:36:09,736
This says plasma levels
828
00:36:09,736 --> 00:36:12,374
of testosterone
and triiodothyronine
829
00:36:12,374 --> 00:36:14,411
were diminished
after space flight,
830
00:36:14,411 --> 00:36:16,750
but it seems like
your testosterone levels
831
00:36:16,750 --> 00:36:18,619
are getting higher.
832
00:36:18,619 --> 00:36:19,922
What am I missing?
833
00:36:19,922 --> 00:36:23,797
I mean, do you feel like
it's accelerating?
834
00:36:26,770 --> 00:36:30,643
♪ ♪
835
00:36:30,643 --> 00:36:32,915
Why are you looking
at me like that?
836
00:36:32,915 --> 00:36:35,186
‐ Hello, pretty lady.
837
00:36:36,355 --> 00:36:38,692
‐ Oh, no!
838
00:36:38,692 --> 00:36:40,563
‐ So is this it now?
839
00:36:40,563 --> 00:36:42,667
You're just gonna change
into different people
840
00:36:42,667 --> 00:36:43,804
whenever you want?
841
00:36:43,804 --> 00:36:45,841
‐ Under normal circumstances,
842
00:36:45,841 --> 00:36:48,412
it is too difficult
to do often,
843
00:36:48,412 --> 00:36:50,784
but the energy balls
from my ship
844
00:36:50,784 --> 00:36:53,255
make it effortless,
845
00:36:53,255 --> 00:36:56,896
and they work on the organic
matter in clothing as well.
846
00:36:56,896 --> 00:36:59,234
Except I think it got
my bra size wrong.
847
00:36:59,234 --> 00:37:02,006
The wire leaves dents
in my skin.
848
00:37:02,006 --> 00:37:05,413
‐ Yeah, well, wait until
you put on a thong.
849
00:37:08,419 --> 00:37:11,760
♪ ♪
850
00:37:15,633 --> 00:37:22,714
♪ ♪
851
00:37:29,361 --> 00:37:36,341
♪ ♪
852
00:37:42,620 --> 00:37:44,892
‐ Oh, yes.
853
00:37:44,892 --> 00:37:50,002
♪ ♪
854
00:37:50,002 --> 00:37:53,910
‐ Working late,
Carlyn, my darlin'?
855
00:37:55,713 --> 00:37:58,319
‐ I'm just trying to...
856
00:37:58,319 --> 00:38:01,492
bring home
the salt‐cured pork slices.
857
00:38:03,295 --> 00:38:05,032
Good night.
858
00:38:05,032 --> 00:38:09,474
‐ Why don't you stick around
for a bit?
859
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:16,622
‐ ♪ I think you got it all
figured out ♪
860
00:38:16,622 --> 00:38:21,798
‐ ♪ But you ain't got a clue ♪
861
00:38:21,798 --> 00:38:24,504
‐ Aah!
862
00:38:28,345 --> 00:38:31,351
‐ ♪ When's gonna be the time
I say enough is enough? ♪
863
00:38:32,988 --> 00:38:35,092
‐ ♪ I ain't nobody's sucker ♪
864
00:38:35,092 --> 00:38:38,399
♪ Nobody's gonna stand
in my way ♪
865
00:38:44,744 --> 00:38:51,725
♪ ♪
866
00:38:51,725 --> 00:38:53,930
‐ Are you sure she's not
gonna feel any different?
867
00:38:55,566 --> 00:38:57,337
‐ I mean, what does she think
happened to her
868
00:38:57,337 --> 00:38:58,539
in the last 24 hours?
869
00:38:58,539 --> 00:39:00,776
‐ She will remember
going to sleep
870
00:39:00,776 --> 00:39:04,417
at Mayor Snowflake's house,
driving home in the morning,
871
00:39:04,417 --> 00:39:06,655
and then having a pleasant nap
on the couch.
872
00:39:06,655 --> 00:39:09,361
‐ Long nap.
873
00:39:09,361 --> 00:39:11,698
‐ She likes long naps.
874
00:39:11,698 --> 00:39:14,939
And it is better than being
awake for her real life.
875
00:39:14,939 --> 00:39:18,012
Her boss is a bad man.
876
00:39:18,012 --> 00:39:19,848
‐ Yeah, she said
something about that.
877
00:39:19,848 --> 00:39:24,024
‐ Mm.
He will not bother her again.
878
00:39:24,024 --> 00:39:25,526
‐ What did you do?
879
00:39:25,526 --> 00:39:27,864
‐ The same thing
you would have done...
880
00:39:27,864 --> 00:39:31,038
if you had
the strength of six gorillas.
881
00:39:31,038 --> 00:39:33,375
I am glad
to be out of her body.
882
00:39:33,375 --> 00:39:35,948
People treated it
like break‐room yogurt.
883
00:39:37,116 --> 00:39:39,387
‐ Even though her name
was on it,
884
00:39:39,387 --> 00:39:41,124
they felt comfortable
molesting it
885
00:39:41,124 --> 00:39:43,729
when they were hungry.
886
00:39:43,729 --> 00:39:45,766
It is awful being short.
887
00:39:45,766 --> 00:39:48,439
‐ Harry, that's not
because she's short.
888
00:39:48,439 --> 00:39:51,946
That's being a woman.
Welcome to our world.
889
00:39:51,946 --> 00:39:56,956
‐ You mean you all feel
the eyes hunting you
890
00:39:56,956 --> 00:40:00,129
like a baby deer in the woods,
just walking down the street?
891
00:40:00,129 --> 00:40:01,865
‐ Yeah. I tried to tell you.
892
00:40:01,865 --> 00:40:06,174
You know, next time a woman
tries to tell you something,
893
00:40:06,174 --> 00:40:08,812
sit down, shut up, and listen.
894
00:40:08,812 --> 00:40:11,051
And if you feel the need
to say anything,
895
00:40:11,051 --> 00:40:14,457
all it needs
to be is, "Yes, ma'am."
896
00:40:17,463 --> 00:40:24,577
♪ ♪
897
00:40:35,066 --> 00:40:38,639
‐ Yes. Yes.
898
00:40:38,639 --> 00:40:40,910
Mm.
899
00:40:40,910 --> 00:40:42,513
Yes!
900
00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:55,974
♪ ♪
901
00:40:55,974 --> 00:40:58,545
‐ Sit down, space man.
902
00:40:58,545 --> 00:41:04,524
♪ ♪
903
00:41:06,795 --> 00:41:08,198
Sit!
904
00:41:09,801 --> 00:41:11,571
I know all about
your silver balls.
905
00:41:11,571 --> 00:41:13,676
I know Max stole one,
and that's why he's been acting
906
00:41:13,676 --> 00:41:15,880
like springtime lions
in those nature videos,
907
00:41:15,880 --> 00:41:18,952
but I also know
you knew he had a ball
908
00:41:18,952 --> 00:41:20,823
and did nothing to stop him.
909
00:41:20,823 --> 00:41:23,262
Guess what. You're not getting
your ball back.
910
00:41:23,262 --> 00:41:25,232
I've hidden it
where you'll never find it,
911
00:41:25,232 --> 00:41:27,036
and I'm guessing now
that it's gone,
912
00:41:27,036 --> 00:41:28,939
Max will go back to normal.
913
00:41:28,939 --> 00:41:33,215
And if he doesn't,
you are going to hear from me.
914
00:41:33,215 --> 00:41:34,684
Do you understand?
915
00:41:36,822 --> 00:41:38,192
‐ Yes, ma'am.
916
00:41:38,192 --> 00:41:42,800
♪ ♪
917
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:44,971
‐ Good.
918
00:41:44,971 --> 00:41:48,946
‐ Humans believe they
all deserve certain rights‐‐
919
00:41:48,946 --> 00:41:53,222
the right to be heard,
the right to be respected.
920
00:41:53,222 --> 00:41:56,895
Asking for what you deserve
in life should not be so hard,
921
00:41:56,895 --> 00:41:58,198
but for others,
922
00:41:58,198 --> 00:42:01,204
asking for what they deserve
can be very difficult.
923
00:42:01,204 --> 00:42:03,742
♪ ♪
924
00:42:03,742 --> 00:42:06,715
‐ Hey, D'arce!
925
00:42:06,715 --> 00:42:08,752
‐ Okay!
Yes, girl!
926
00:42:08,752 --> 00:42:11,191
‐ What do you think?
‐ Wow, very fancy, girl!
927
00:42:11,191 --> 00:42:12,560
Get your things!
928
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:14,164
‐ Thank you!
‐ Okay.
929
00:42:18,038 --> 00:42:22,714
‐ Posting flyers is against
Patience civil code 1‐8‐22.
930
00:42:23,882 --> 00:42:25,753
‐ And actually getting
what they deserve
931
00:42:25,753 --> 00:42:28,826
sometimes requires
an act of heroism.
932
00:42:33,969 --> 00:42:40,916
♪ ♪
933
00:42:47,062 --> 00:42:49,768
‐ Whoo! Ha!
934
00:42:49,768 --> 00:42:52,340
‐ Women of Patience,
have patience no more!
935
00:42:52,340 --> 00:42:55,079
We demand equal pay!
936
00:42:57,350 --> 00:43:00,890
Way to go, D'arce!
937
00:43:00,890 --> 00:43:07,837
♪ ♪
938
00:43:13,949 --> 00:43:16,188
Wow, it's D'arcy.
939
00:43:16,188 --> 00:43:20,162
♪ ♪
940
00:43:20,162 --> 00:43:23,368
God, she is incredible,
don't you think?
941
00:43:23,368 --> 00:43:26,073
‐ Honey, there's something
I got to tell you.
942
00:43:26,073 --> 00:43:30,081
♪ ♪
943
00:43:30,081 --> 00:43:31,818
‐ What is it?
944
00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:34,224
♪ ♪
945
00:43:34,224 --> 00:43:36,294
‐ I'm gonna have a word
with the town assembly
946
00:43:36,294 --> 00:43:38,966
and fix this pay gap.
947
00:43:38,966 --> 00:43:41,070
‐ Yeah, you are.
948
00:43:41,070 --> 00:43:42,707
Wow.
949
00:43:42,707 --> 00:43:45,980
Way to be assertive, honey.
950
00:43:45,980 --> 00:43:47,350
It's very sexy.
951
00:43:47,350 --> 00:43:54,697
♪ ♪
68392
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