All language subtitles for Ally McBeal - 5x08 - Playing with Matches.en

Hey, jealous lover

You're acting so strange

Hey, jealous lover

What is making you change?

-Hey, jealous lover
-Do-do-do-do

-How wrong can you be?
-Do-do-do-do

-Do-do-do-do
-I'm yours ever faithful

-Do-do-do-do
-Just be faithful to me

This might sound self-serving.

But I'm coming from an
altruistic place, which is hard.

You need a fling
before you get married.

-What's going on?
-Richard's altruistic place is hard.

Frances.
Could you give me a second, Jen?

Hey, jealous lover

When you get married you choose
a conventional life, which I support.

But when marriages fail, and 50 percent
of them do, it often stems from. . .

. . .an unconventional yearn to be. . . .

I'm not a fan of the word,
but nasty.

-Hm.
FISH: Yeah.

Many married women
say to themselves:

"I wonder what it's like to be nasty.
If only I'd been lascivious once. "

Some women yield to the urge
after marriage, and that's wrong. . .

. . .for principled people
like you and me.

If only they had the sense to get lewd
before they walked down the aisle.

And I'm speaking here not just for you,
but for the institution itself.

Soot. Quench your nasty
little id before you take vows.

Now, I say this for you. I say
it for Tim. I say it because I care.

-I completely agree with you.
-You do?

-Only thing, Richard.
-Yeah?

-Is your altruistic place still hard?
-Very.

The thing is, I've already
been nasty in my life.

-How?
-I've been a very, very naughty girl.

Would you like to know
how nasty I can be?

Only if it'll help.

Ask my fianc�.

Hall of fame bugger.

I've been down this road

Playing with Matches

Walking the line
That's painted by pride

And I have made mistakes in my life
That ljust can 't hide

Oh, I believe I am ready
For what love has to bring

I got myself together
Now I'm ready to sing

I've been searching my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life

Now I know I can shine the light
To fiind my way back home

Baby

Oh, yeah

-I look ridiculous.
-It's a bridesmaid's dress.

It's supposed to look ridiculous.

(KNOCKING]

Hey.

Do I look ridiculous?

-No. No, not at all.
-I'm gonna go see for myself.

-So you ready for the big day?
-Oh, yeah.

You're still suspicious, aren't you?

Me? No. No. I love the idea of
a 50-year-old woman and a young guy.

I hope when I'm 50 years old,
young boys find me attractive.

I don't know,
gives us all a little hope.

I don't think you'll
have any problem, Ally.

Thank you.

Well, you know, that's. . . .
This was. . . .

Why are you looking at me like that?

No reason.

Kimmy?

I can't even begin to tell you my
predicament, so I've put it in a note.

Let's go to my office.

CORRETTA:
A matchmaker?

I paid her $23,000.
Three months later--

-No match?
-She refunded the money.

-Why?
-She deemed me. . . .

Uh. . . . Oh.

"Unmatchable. " Well, Kimmy, what
is it that you would like us to do?

Sue her for emotional distress?
Well, okay. Let's talk about this.

We don't have time.
The trial starts in an hour.

In an hour?
You're just coming to us now?

Will you help me, John?

-Hello.
-Last chance.

-Excuse me?
-Last chance for love

What?

IN WOMAN'S VOICE:
Last chance for romance and love

How did you do that?

-Ally, you're up.
-Hm?

Oh, coming.

Hi, I'm kimmy. I like horseback
riding, and long walks in the park...

...and rainy days and Mondays.

Rainy days and Mondays
don 't get me down.

You can see I like a sense of humor.
I have one personally and I utilize it.

I'm looking for a kind man
with fertile seed to be my mate.

To look in my probing eyes over a
flickering candle. I'm also a romantic.

You made this tape for the matchmaker?

-Yes.
-Did you go out on dates after--?

Many. A lot of them pleasant.
Two went to first base.

You kissed two of them?

-And a match failed to materialize?
KIMMY: We didn't have a lot in common.

One was prurient and only wanted
the "S" word. The other. . . .

What? Got blue on rainy Mondays?

There it goes, damn it.

-Recess, Your Honor.
-Excuse me?

I have a recurring lip twitch
which the witness. . .

. . .has inadvertently triggered.
Short recess, please.

Why are you blaming
the matchmaker?

She never in good faith linked me
to anyone remotely compatible.

I had dinner with men
who liked fishing.

That's it?
You went out with fishermen?

It wasn't just that
I couldn't find a match.

She informed me by registered mail
that no match existed. . .

. . .for me in the domestic United
States and quite likely on Earth.

Do you know how that made me feel?
I paid her $23,000 and she says:

"I'm sorry. I only handle
this planet?" And then--

And then--
And then what?

Well, their slogan was,
"Guaranteed success every time. "

And then after me, they changed
it to, "Every time but once. "

The kid was making a move. I know
when a man is looking for action.

-The question here is, what do I do?
-Well, do you have evil urges?

No. No. I mean, l--
What do I do with respect to Jenny?

I have knowledge,
or at least a strong suspicion. . .

. . .her mother's marrying
a cheating snake. Do I tell her?

Give me your hand.

No. I am presenting you
with an ethical dilemma.

I have a friend.
My friend has a mother.

My friend's mother is getting married.

My friend's mother's fianc� made
a play on me. Now, do I tell her?

Yes.

Maybe.

All right. Just forget it.

Oh.

-Hello again.
-Why don't you believe?

-I'm sorry?
-I need air.

GLENN: I think you should tell.
ALLY: Really?

Well, I'm gonna tell now if you don't.

-What if I'm wrong?
-What if you're right?

Right about what?

Jenny. . . .

I'm not sure. But I'm pretty sure
that Tim kind of made a pass at me.

My mother's Tim?

He just. . . .
Well, it was mostly innuendo.

-But it was definitely a come-on.
-What did he do?

Well, he was suggestive with a look.

And he wasn't direct.
But, like I said, he--

-So you're not sure?
-Not a hundred percent, no.

Should I tell my mother?

-If she was my mother--
-You could be wrong, right?

-Right.
-Well?

-Maybe you should say nothing.
-Yeah.

What if she's right?

-That's where we were when you came in.
-Find out for sure.

How? He's not gonna admit it.
He'll say that it was my imagination.

-You should take him up on his offer.
-Excuse me?

Entrap him. If he's predisposed
to commit the deed--

-What do I do? Say, "Hi, sailor"?
-This is my mother.

-If he's a creep, she can't marry him.
-It is too perverse. I can't.

Please.

This is my mother.

All these people you see,
I matched them up.

Look at the happiness.

But, Miss Pumple, Kimberly Bishop
is not a satisfied customer. She's. . .

. . .disgruntled.

You want disgruntled? You should
see the men I set her up with.

Objection.
Don't get personal, Miss Plumple.

-It's Pumple.
-All right.

Tell us about Kimberly Bishop,
if you would.

Okay. Well, for starters, she would
bring her mother on most of the dates.

This is not a good beginning.
And she wasn't warm.

Every man that I set her up with. . .

. . .came back with the same two words:

"Never again! "

SPANER: Two of them, we heard,
went to first base.

"Like kissing a chicken. "
Their words.

One of them is suing me
for a cold sore.

-Objection!
-Overruled. Mr. Cage, sit.

Did you make your best effort
to find Kimberly Bishop a match?

Let me tell you something.
I saw this woman as a challenge.

And I'm a person
who responds to challenge.

I looked everywhere.
I tried everybody.

But this is not a likable person.

Sorry, Kimmy. But you're not.

Well, I'm not even sure.

A woman's compass is good when it
comes to the dial on a man's compass.

If you thought he was,
he probably was.

-What would you do?
-If John asked me to test his mother. . .

. . .I probably would.
That's what friendship is sometimes.

-Plus you like older women.
-There's that.

Seriously, should I offer
myself up as bait?

-It seems so vulgar.
-Well, if you're sure, no.

Tell Frances he's a player
and send her to me.

But if you're not sure,
ask the kid if he's interested.

Did you see. . .?

See what?

Nothing.

Why didn't you simply
refund the money?

Why did you send by registered mail:
"Nothing for you on this planet"?

Because there are less
reputable matchmakers out there. . .

. . .who might tell her
there is a man for her.

-I didn't want her to get taken.
-Is that it?

Or could you have been projecting
your failure onto her, Miss Pumple?

I don't like how
he's punching my name.

Just answer his questions, ma'am.

PUMPLE:
I bring happiness to people's lives.

-Look behind you.
-I don't want to.

These people are here to support
me and what I do, Mr. Cage.

They bear witness
to my ability as a matchmaker.

They all came to me the same as
your client with the very same plea.

Which was?

Matchmaker, matchmaker
Make me a match

Find me a fiind
Catch me a catch

Oh, that's our theme. We sing it at
our reunions, of which we have many.

Excellent.

Matchmaker, matchmaker
Look through your book

-Ma'am.
-And fiind me a perfect man

-All right!
-Miss Pumple?

-Matchmaker, I'll bring the veil
-Order.

You bring the groom
Slender and pale

There will be no singing
in my courtroom.

CLIENT 3: Bring me a ring, I long to be
-The envy of all I see

-That's enough.
-Move to strike the music.

-For Papa, make him a scholar
-For Mama--

-I'm warning you all.
-Ask for sanctions, judge.

For me, well, I wouldn 't holler

-If he were as handsome as any--
-Kimmy!

CROWD: Matchmaker, matchmaker
Make me a match

Find me a fiind
Catch me a catch

Night after night
ln the dark I'm alone

So make me a match
Make me a match

Make me a match of my own

I don't know.

Please. We just want to
see if he's inclined to cheat.

-Doesn't feel right.
-If I could pull it off, I would.

Okay, just be subtle, because
he goes for sophistication.

-You wanted to see me?
-Well. . . .

What the--?

Tim?

In my office.

Too subtle?

Well, you know, it was. . . .

Well, actually, it was me
who wanted to see you.

About what?

Well. . . .

You know, this is really embarrassing.
But earlier, you were. . . .

You were looking at me in a way. . . .

Like, maybe you were
interested in me sexually.

Which is okay.
I mean, I get lots of looks.

Sometimes I can't walk
down the street without. . . .

But anyway, well, on the
chance that you were interested. . . .

I know how guys, right before
they get married. . .

. . .sometimes want to dip that quill
in the little inkwell one last time.

You know, I guess that. . .

. . .you know, I would sort of be
interested in being that inkwell. . .

-. . .you know, if you were interested.
-Oh.

I'm not.

Excellent.

I thought I would ask. That's okay.
Good. That's all. Thank you.

But. . .

. . .if you're interested in more
than that, like a little affair. . .

. . .that's something
that appeals to me.

Hm. Hm. Oh. . . .

Well, gee. . . .

I'll give it some thought.

Okay.

Ugh.

-I just can't believe it.
-I'm sorry.

GLENN: And there was no confusion--?
-No, no.

He was really direct this time.

I feel nauseous.

Hello.

-What's wrong?
-Mom, I have some really bad news.

Only I can't give it to you
because I might puke.

A person shouldn't be the bearer
of both bad news and vomit.

What's going on?

Tim. Tim, your fianc�.

-What's happened? ls he all right?
-Yes. He's fine. He's dandy. He's--

-He's a scoundrel.
-Excuse me?

-He made a play for me.
-What?

Well, he was interested
in having a small affair.

Oh.

I'm so sorry, Mom.

Jenny, Tim and l,
we have an open relationship.

We plan on having an open marriage.

-What do you mean?
-He's free to dabble and so am l.

I don't like where he's dabbled, but
other than that, it's not a disaster.

You're okay with. . .?

To be with a friend of my daughter,
no. But other than that. . .

. . .he's free to do as he pleases.

-Well, she took it okay.
-This just isn't my mother.

I better stay with her.

You're killing me.

-The wedding's still on?
-Yes.

What about the sanctity?

It's a violation of love. Everything
I believe in. She's open to affairs?

-Evidently.
-That's terrible.

-Not with Jenny's friends.
-Good.

-What witness?
-The matchmaker failed her too.

-Are you sure?
-I just got off the phone with her.

I don't like surprises
in the middle of trial.

The surprise will be on them.

-Ally, many marriages are open.
-Well, I know.

But usually in failure.

To go in saying it's okay to cheat,
is giving up before you've even begun.

I'm just filled
with such hopelessness.

I mean, all men cheat?
I have to resign myself to that?

Allison, give me your hand.

There are many wonderful, loving,
good, handsome. . .

. . .men who are married.

If you swear off adultery,
how can you link up with them?

-Trust your therapist.
-I'm done trusting you.

-Why are you so threatened?
-I don't know!

I guess I just need to believe in
partnership, that it can be possible.

You still can't believe in love,
can you?

-Tell me more about the boy.
-The boy is over. He's back with Jenny.

The 7-year-old boy.

Oh.

Well, it's just, you know,
I get these hallucinations. It's. . . .

I have them. It's nothing.

If this hallucination says you're
trying to kill him, it's not nothing.

VONDA SINGS:
Girl

I heard you're getting married

Heard you're getting married

This time you're really sure

And this is the end....

Two nights before my wedding,
shouldn't we be having some fun?

What if Glenn and I had that kind of
arrangement? What would you think?

The thing about men,
deep down they annoy me.

I don't want one all the time.

I enjoy the physical partnership.
I enjoy having a home together.

-I also like my independence.
-You mean lovers on the side?

Should I choose to. Most likely,
I wouldn't. Tim keeps me quite busy.

I think it's gross.

The point of marriage is two people
sticking together until death.

Shouldn't you think
about my happiness?

-Are you happy, Mom?
-Yes, I am. I am, sweetheart.

Don't worry about me. I'm okay.

But it's the worst
that could happen to me

It was awful. She promised me
a partner. But it was a fraud.

Miss Cushnip, did you get dates
through the defendant's service?

Oh, yes. But not with men who
could even remotely be partners.

She peppers you with dates.
But then nothing works out.

And then she blamed it on me.
And that's what was so hurtful.

You put in your video
you like the spotlight.

-Women like attention.
-But you travel. . .

. . .with your own technician
and a spotlight. Don't you?

CUSHNIP:
It's an esteem device.

A woman is prettier when
she feels good about herself.

I see you brought
your technician today.

Would you feel more
comfortable if he lit you up?

Hm. Maybe a little.

SPANER:
Go ahead, sir.

Much better?

I'm sorry.

-Ace in the hole?
-Don't raise your voice.

I told you how opposed
I am to surprise.

"The other side will be surprised! "

Trailing up!
Your voice is trailing up!

-You haven't heard it trail up!
-I didn't know she had a spotlight.

-Did you ask?
-No, I forgot.

I should've asked, "Will you be
bringing a 400-volt lamp to court?"

-You lost the case.
-I didn't!

-What do I say in my closing?
-I don't know.

Just stand up, smile, and give him
a little lip twitch. It's so winning.

Oh.

-Don't let it bother you.
-How?

It was the heat of passion.
You were both upset.

Oh, but the witness she called.
We have lost, Ally.

--beside me to guide me

-I can't believe she is singing this.
-Why?

Well, this is the song I heard
in my head when a little boy. . . .

'Cause when I'm bad
I'm so so bad

-So let's dance
-So let's dance

VONDA:
Let's dance

I can't stand it anymore. Come on.

VONDA:
Last dance

Last chance for love

Yes, it's my last chance
For romance tonight

Oh, I need you

By me
Beside me

To guide me
To hold me

To scold me
Because when I'm bad

I'm so so bad

Come on, Ally
Last chance tonight

Woo

(GASPS]

Do you remember?

-Remember what?
-You don't remember?

Remember what?

Remember what?

FISH:
Ally?

Oh, I don't. . . .

I don't know what's going on.
I don't understand.

-Are you okay?
-Uh. . . .

I don't know.

I don't know.

You're planning what?

-We're desperate.
-I don't like tricks.

Go with it! Not everything is as
choreographed as a nose whistle.

Oh, that's rich.
First my lip, now my nose.

-Just go with it. You're bugging me.
-I'm bugging you?

So he says he can't breathe.
And he sings "Last Dance. "

Were you dancing to him last
night when you went crazy?

No.

That was just the lyrics.
You know, "Last chance for love. "

I just felt compelled to go for broke.

This might be my final crackup.

And you really don't
recognize the boy?

-No.
-And the skates?

Did you ever go skating
as a young boy?

I've been a girl
as long as I can remember.

I did go skating.
I used to go public skating and. . . .

What?

Well, you know those dancing partners.

They always just seemed like
they were so in love, you know?

I used to go skating
and pretend I was in love.

-The little boy is you, Ally.
-What?

Part of your therapy is because
you don't believe in love.

This thing with Frances' marriage,
that can't be helping.

Why would a little boy say I'm trying
to kill him or I won't let him breathe?

Well, you know, I'm no expert. . .

. . .but the boy is that part of you
that believed in love.

You're letting him die. You won't
let that part of you breathe.

First of all, that's abstract and
too profound for you to come up with.

I don't have to be profound.

I was there.

When?

When Billy died.

When Larry left.

The little boy is me?

No. . . .

Miss Pumple, didn't I hear you
say you love a good challenge?

Lovely woman, I live for challenge.

-You're used to difficult cases?
PUMPLE: I want the hopeless.

Are you kidding?
I'd love fixing up your partner.

Objection. I realize the witness enjoys
a wide latitude in her testimony.

-But her girth should have limits.
-John.

Did you hear that?

Miss Pumple, would you have
a hard time fixing me up?

Oh, terribly.
Take me all of 20 seconds.

Okay.

What about this woman here?

I might need a list of personality
points. But I could find her a match.

And what about, say, this woman?

As I said, I welcome challenges.

Fine.

And this woman?

She's what men die for. If I couldn't
set her up, I'd eat my license.

-What is your name, ma'am?
-Kimmy Bishop.

(BELL TOLLS]

I've been tricked!

Perhaps a little cheese
on that license.

She didn't look like this
when she came to me!

You're the expert, Miss Pumple.
You declared her to be unmatchable.

Is that woman unmatchable,
Miss Pumple?

Is she? Anybody want to meet her?

The point is, she was unwilling
to make these kind of changes with me.

No. You were incapable of getting
her to make adjustments. . .

. . .which you claim is your specialty.

She only made them here
to win a lawsuit.

Look, every juror raised his hand.
You're beaten. Just admit it.

I'm not beaten, little man.

Kimmy, I know you're honest.

Look me in the eye and tell
me you're willing. . .

. . .to make these kinds
of wholesale changes.

I'm willing. . .

. . .to make some changes.

Harriet, you like Kimmy.

I know deep, deep down you believe
in your heart she is matchable.

I do.

CORRETTA:
Changing that slogan, that was mean.

It sounds like you were angry at Kimmy,
perhaps for your own failure.

She was rigid.

If you're willing to change,
I'll switch my slogan back.

And I'll find you a man.

I'm willing to compromise.
I need to still be me. I won't change.

But I will compromise.

I think we have a deal here.

-Deal.
-Deal!

"'Til death do them part,"
and they actually did it.

It depresses you.

It's no way for people to form
a union. That's not love. I'm sorry.

Spoken like a woman
who believes in love.

Trying.

-Are you letting the boy breathe?
-Like I said, I'm trying.

I'm no expert on the science of love.

But from what I read,
people take strange routes.

Dating services, open marriages.

Who knows?
Certainly not the two of us.

Richard thinks the part of me
that used to be in love is dead.

-My therapist wonders the same thing.
-What do you think?

Well, I think that if that's
true, then I've gone dead.

I used to be able to fantasize in ways
that I no longer seem able to.

Well, I lost Christmas for a while.

I got it back.

That little boy. . .

. . .he didn't say he was dead.

-He said I was killing him.
-But he wasn't dead, was he?

He was there right in front of you,
skates in hand, ready.

For me to start pretending again?

To start believing again.

And if believing starts with
pretending, or fantasizing. . .

. . .so be it.

Uh-huh

You got a cute way of talkin '

You got the better of me
Yeah

Just snap your fiingers
And I'm walkin '

Like a dog
Hangin ' on your lead yeah

I'm in a spin, you know
Shakin ' on a string, you know

-Lil' Kimmy is back.
-It's the new Kimmy.

How exciting.
And she settled her case.

Corretta gave her
a makeover and it worked.

-You can't stand it, can you?
-Congratulations. You won it. I admit.

-Thank you.
-And I'm sorry I got so upset with you.

I'm sorry I made fun
of your twitch and your whistle.

By any chance,
would you care to dance?

Sure.

Would you care to dance?

In times like these,
other than loved ones. . .

. . .I feel like our hearts are our most
cherished possession.

Me too.

Well, time to go.

It's 9:00.

-I'm going skating.
-Skating?

Skating is a good thing to do on
a Friday night because it's romantic.

-Do you have a date?
-No.

But I'm starting to believe
in love again, and it's a start.

You make me feel like dancin '

Whoa
Gonna dance the night away

Feel like dancin '

MALE SKATER:
Move it, now.

CUSHNIP SINGS:
Who would've believed

That you and me

Would fall and land together?

And who

Could have foreseen

In you I'd fiind the place

I've belonged forever?

And if I look closer

Then love will take over

And lead

The way

I'd given up hope

Losing the faith that love

Could be mine to treasure

And now

Nothing's the same

I found myself reborn

On the day I met you

And if we move closer

Then love will take over

And lead

The way

Suddenly

You are lying here with me

And the truths

I used to hold have changed

If we move closer

And let it take over

Then love

Will lead

The way

OLD LADY:
You stinker!

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