All language subtitles for Single Drunk Female s01e04 Shamrocks and Shenanigans.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,301 --> 00:00:03,403 (indistinct chatter) 2 00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:05,405 (indistinct announcement over P. A.) 3 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:22,389 Hey. Clock out for your break. 4 00:00:22,389 --> 00:00:24,525 And when you're back I need you to cover for Doris. 5 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:27,094 She called in sick, but you know what that means today. 6 00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:29,029 I don't. What does that mean today? 7 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:32,366 MAN (over P. A.): Shoppers, stock up on all things green. 8 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,734 Visit our bakery department 9 00:00:33,734 --> 00:00:35,802 and pick up your St. Paddy's Day treats. 10 00:00:35,802 --> 00:00:37,304 (indistinct chatter continuing) 11 00:00:37,304 --> 00:00:38,639 Oh, no. 12 00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,641 Yep. Happy St. Patrick's Day. 13 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:43,176 Or, as I like to call it, The Purge for Sober People. 14 00:00:43,176 --> 00:00:45,345 ♪ Don't back down, I don't run for cover ♪ 15 00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:46,246 ♪ And the crowd goes... ♪ 16 00:00:46,246 --> 00:00:47,814 ♪ ♪ 17 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,452 Wait, wait, wait, my baby, let me help you carry that. 18 00:00:52,452 --> 00:00:55,088 Baby, the doctor said not to lift anything. 19 00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:57,724 My baby, I think she meant, like, 20 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,826 not to lift anything after implantation, but 21 00:00:59,826 --> 00:01:02,563 ‐I can... Yeah. ‐Oh, right. Yeah, that makes sense. Why don't you 22 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,098 ‐put the snacks in the front seat, honey? ‐Okay. I can do that. 23 00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:07,367 ‐Ow! ‐What? 24 00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:09,002 Oh, my gosh, it's so heavy. 25 00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:11,204 I don't think I can have a baby now. 26 00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,307 ‐Hilarious. ‐I know. I'm so funny. 27 00:01:13,307 --> 00:01:17,544 (phone rings) 28 00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:19,846 Hey. Sam, how you holding up? 29 00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:22,516 It's like being the only Jewish kid in town on Christmas. 30 00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,451 Which I was. But I didn't like that either, so... 31 00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:26,153 Yeah. Today's gonna be tough. 32 00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:29,122 You don't have to thrive it, you just have to survive it. 33 00:01:29,122 --> 00:01:31,758 ‐Where are you guys? ‐Oh, we're packing up the car. 34 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,595 We are going down the Cape with, uh, 35 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:37,698 Vinnie, Allegra, Molly, Brenda. 36 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,701 Sort of our last hurrah before we have a baby. 37 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:42,703 Wow. Sounds like a rager. 38 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:44,905 ‐Blast some "Closer to Fine" for me, okay? ‐That's a good idea. 39 00:01:44,905 --> 00:01:46,440 Babe, can you get the playlist ready? 40 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,809 ‐Yeah, I have it. Yeah... No, it's ready. ‐Cue it up. 41 00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:50,410 Wait, are you alone? 42 00:01:50,410 --> 00:01:51,979 Seriously? 43 00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:54,915 Isolating on a day like today is not a good idea. 44 00:01:54,915 --> 00:01:56,483 If you... Yeah, Stephanie's saying if you want to 45 00:01:56,483 --> 00:01:58,018 ‐come with us you can. ‐No. 46 00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,319 No, no, no, come on. 47 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,021 Seriously, I've got, like, plenty of options. 48 00:02:01,021 --> 00:02:02,756 You know, I don't want to ruin your weekend. It's all good. 49 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,258 Okay, well, if you need a meeting go to Club 24/7‐‐ 50 00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:08,128 they're having meetings all day. Just stay off of Instagram. 51 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,163 I'm gonna send you this great meditation app. 52 00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,732 And if, you know, you feel lonely 53 00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:13,567 or any feelings come up, just 54 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,068 give me a call. Door's always open. 55 00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,471 ‐No, no, no. The door's closed. ‐Stephanie's saying that 56 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:19,272 ‐the door's also always open. ‐The... Oh, my... 57 00:02:19,272 --> 00:02:21,108 Okay, I love you. Hang in there. 58 00:02:21,108 --> 00:02:25,012 Love you, too. Okay, b... bye. Bye. 59 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,685 Ow! 60 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,487 Why? I still have five minutes. 61 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,656 You're not wearing green. Also, I need you 62 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:38,358 to mop up that puddle of festive‐looking vomit. 63 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,796 ♪ ♪ 64 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:53,807 You bet. I'm gonna have, like, three green beers 65 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,308 the second we get off. 66 00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:56,510 I hear one more time about 67 00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,178 the green beer, I'm gonna scream. 68 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,515 Sammy. What are you doing here? 69 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:03,283 SAMANTHA: Yeah, I was just thinking, uh, 70 00:03:03,283 --> 00:03:04,484 maybe, you know, you and Zack could come over, 71 00:03:04,484 --> 00:03:07,054 ‐we could make cookies or... ‐Oh, yeah. 72 00:03:07,054 --> 00:03:09,189 Today's got to be a hard day for you, huh? 73 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:10,691 Yeah. No, I mean, it's fine. 74 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,527 I just feel like I owe the kid after Roller Land 75 00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,063 ‐and it could be fun, right? ‐Aw, Sam. 76 00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:18,198 Sammy, Sam, Sam, Sam. 77 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,901 I love you and your journey, 78 00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:23,303 but today is the day of my people. 79 00:03:23,303 --> 00:03:25,372 ‐St. Pat's Day is like my Super Bowl. ‐I know. 80 00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:26,873 It's actually better than the Super Bowl. 81 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,575 I don't have to watch Maroon 5 shirtless. 82 00:03:28,575 --> 00:03:30,677 ‐You know... ‐Yeah, I get it. 83 00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:32,212 What are you gonna do? 84 00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,481 Um, well, Zack's with his dad 85 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:36,216 and I'm gonna go out with Tina and her crew. 86 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,518 ‐Oh. ‐Check it out, Sam. 87 00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:40,153 I bought a new shirt. 88 00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:42,022 Tina, stop showing off your titty window to Sam. 89 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,323 She can't come out with us. 90 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:45,659 ‐Ay, really? That sucks. ‐No, it's okay. 91 00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,195 It's a great titty window. I'm happy for you guys. 92 00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:49,229 ‐Thank you. ‐SAMANTHA: Yeah. 93 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,298 ‐She just got 'em done. ‐Uh... 94 00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:52,632 Hello. That was a secret. 95 00:03:52,632 --> 00:03:53,967 Sorry, oh, I... You... 96 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:55,202 You let me touch them. 97 00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,671 ‐I would have never known. ‐Okay. Thank you. 98 00:03:57,671 --> 00:03:59,673 MAN (over P. A.): Shamrock cupcake special: 99 00:03:59,673 --> 00:04:01,675 two boxes for only $3.99. 100 00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,443 Hey. I know you. 101 00:04:03,443 --> 00:04:06,046 Hey. That's a lot of almonds. 102 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,682 ‐Looks like you're stocking up for a very healthy end of days. ‐Yeah. 103 00:04:08,682 --> 00:04:10,417 Locked myself out of my place, so 104 00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,918 just waiting to hear back from my idiot roommates. 105 00:04:11,918 --> 00:04:14,354 They're very lucky if that kale is all for them. 106 00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:16,256 ‐Yeah. Right. ‐MAN: Attention, shoppers. 107 00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:18,225 ‐For your St. Paddy's Day cookout, we have ‐(phone vibrates) 108 00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,227 a special today on sirloin strip. 109 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:24,798 No. 110 00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,967 Shit. 111 00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:29,069 ‐You okay? ‐Um... 112 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,237 yeah. 113 00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:31,805 It's just... 114 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,540 They're at a bar. 115 00:04:33,540 --> 00:04:36,910 Um, I haven't been to a bar in, like, a year. You know? 116 00:04:36,910 --> 00:04:38,879 They always forget that I'm sober. 117 00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,847 Well, lucky for you, 118 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,749 my shift just ended, so... 119 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:43,917 let's go find some drunks. 120 00:04:43,917 --> 00:04:46,887 Oh. Thank you. 121 00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,488 Are they cute? They better be cute. 122 00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:50,223 I mean, yeah, if you're into weirdos in sleeveless shirts. 123 00:04:50,223 --> 00:04:51,591 MINDY: Oh, okay, cool. 124 00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,860 ‐(door closes) ‐(sighs) 125 00:04:53,860 --> 00:04:55,462 Sam! 126 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,497 Lá Fhéile Pádraig sona duit! 127 00:04:57,497 --> 00:04:58,865 CAROL: Isn't he cute? 128 00:04:58,865 --> 00:04:59,833 SAMANTHA: Mm‐hmm. Yeah. 129 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,134 So cute. 130 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,136 I am not technically Irish, 131 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,405 but some people say that the Polish 132 00:05:05,405 --> 00:05:07,741 are the Irish of the East. 133 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:10,210 ‐L'chaim. ‐Bless you. 134 00:05:10,210 --> 00:05:11,478 Cool. So, what are you guys doing today? 135 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,713 You want to... you want to binge watch something? 136 00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:14,915 I'm sure there's, like, a new, 137 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:17,851 dry British crime drama out. 138 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,686 The husband did it. Or the priest. 139 00:05:19,686 --> 00:05:22,355 ‐Whatever. ‐Are you asking us to hang out? 140 00:05:22,355 --> 00:05:24,558 I'm not not asking you to hang out. 141 00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:27,360 Wow! How surprising. 142 00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:29,696 And very nice. I like it. 143 00:05:29,696 --> 00:05:32,165 Thank you. Can we take a rain check? 144 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,101 BOB: Yes, we are actually on our way out. 145 00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:37,337 ‐Okay. ‐CAROL: Bob got us tickets 146 00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,939 to a traditional Irish band. 147 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,774 Yes. The Jolly Fifes. 148 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:43,510 They have one of the best Dobro players in the world. 149 00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:45,612 Padraig Byrne. He's, like, top ten. He's awesome. 150 00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:48,248 It seemed like a fun way to celebrate the holiday. 151 00:05:48,248 --> 00:05:50,250 Wow, Bob's really changing you. 152 00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:51,718 What do you mean? 153 00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:53,353 You're not a holiday person. 154 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,921 I have nothing against them. 155 00:05:54,921 --> 00:05:56,356 Name one you like. 156 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,258 "Sucoat." 157 00:05:58,258 --> 00:06:00,694 ‐Sukkot. ‐The tent. 158 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,662 ‐It's really nice. ‐Yeah. 159 00:06:02,662 --> 00:06:04,097 It's a gorgeous, gorgeous tent. 160 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:07,033 Oh. I could do this all night, but we got to go. 161 00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:09,469 Uh, binge for us all. 162 00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:11,271 So, uh, grab my purse. 163 00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:12,505 Enjoy. 164 00:06:14,341 --> 00:06:15,609 (door opens) 165 00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,712 (door closes) 166 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,683 (sighs) 167 00:06:23,683 --> 00:06:25,685 ("Just Be Cool" by DijahSB playing) 168 00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,291 ♪ Mad 'cause I be going hard in the paint ♪ 169 00:06:31,291 --> 00:06:32,792 ♪ You be acting like you be that boy, but you ain't ♪ 170 00:06:32,792 --> 00:06:34,227 ♪ I'm‐a be there full‐time, I go hard ♪ 171 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,896 ♪ For the cake, got a yard so long ♪ 172 00:06:35,896 --> 00:06:37,864 ♪ I be dodging the snakes, 'cause they tell you ♪ 173 00:06:37,864 --> 00:06:39,266 ♪ Work hard, but you hardly on the grind ♪ 174 00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,901 ♪ Trying to pay my mom's bills ♪ 175 00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,569 ♪ Get Cardi on the line, yeah ♪ 176 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:43,670 ♪ I be working up the fires ♪ 177 00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,038 ♪ Don't worry, you'll be fine ♪ 178 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,340 ♪ Just be cool, stay right there ♪ 179 00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,075 ♪ Don't you move, I ain't trying to go home ♪ 180 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:51,411 ♪ It's too soon, I'm trying to dance away ♪ 181 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,179 ♪ These blues, yes, it's late, boy ♪ 182 00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:55,348 ♪ Just be cool, stay right there ♪ 183 00:06:55,348 --> 00:06:57,117 ♪ Don't you move, I ain't trying to go home ♪ 184 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,419 ♪ It's too soon, I'm trying to dance away ♪ 185 00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,720 ♪ These blues. ♪ 186 00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,068 ♪ ♪ 187 00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:32,118 (oven timer dings) 188 00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:47,067 (bells chiming softly) 189 00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,468 SCOTTIE PIPPEN: This is Scottie Pippen, 190 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,136 and I'm gonna teach you 191 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,605 how to meditate like a champion. 192 00:07:52,605 --> 00:07:55,308 If you're like me, you need some you time 193 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:58,712 to relax your mind and body. 194 00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:03,083 Listen to wild Tibetan bells. 195 00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:06,820 Don't you feel more chill already? 196 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:08,621 No. ‐(bells stop) 197 00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:10,056 Mm‐mmm. 198 00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:12,125 ‐(man whoops) ‐You heard it here first. 199 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:14,194 The mac and cheese balls at the Purple Shamrock 200 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,162 are to die for. 201 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,998 Hey! 202 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,699 Uh, Bonjour, bonjour, what's up. It's your girl Angeline. 203 00:08:19,699 --> 00:08:21,735 We are here at the spa. 204 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:24,404 Because look at our beautiful friend. 205 00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:27,507 No, not you IG'ing this, girl. No. 206 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,943 It's my number‐one bitch, Brittany. 207 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:32,178 She is getting married. 208 00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:35,181 I am so happy. Also, a little drunk. 209 00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,156 (whoosh) 210 00:08:50,830 --> 00:08:52,832 (screams) 211 00:08:59,172 --> 00:09:01,508 This is very you, I think. I mean, you can pull off 212 00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,709 ‐almost anything. ‐Mm‐hmm. 213 00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,111 ‐Oh, for sure. ‐Now, all we have to do 214 00:09:05,111 --> 00:09:08,281 is make a decision before all the bars reach capacity. 215 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:09,949 BRIT: It's just, you know, I‐I don't 216 00:09:09,949 --> 00:09:11,651 feel like this is exactly right. 217 00:09:11,651 --> 00:09:13,053 ANGELINE: Oh my God, do you remember the funnel cake 218 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,687 with all the, like, beautiful whipped cream design‐‐ 219 00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:15,755 it was, like, all 220 00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:17,157 floofy and stuff? Girl, you look like that. 221 00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,526 ‐DANIELLE: That was the best ‐For sure, yeah. 222 00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,528 funnel cake I have ever had. 223 00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:23,663 ‐You should get it for the funnel cake. ‐Ever. For real. 224 00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:26,433 Okay. I mean, it's your wedding, 225 00:09:26,433 --> 00:09:28,034 so if you want to look at more, 226 00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:29,369 I will show you more dresses. 227 00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,805 ‐Thank you. ‐But I do this all day long, 228 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:34,374 and sometimes you just know. 229 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,376 It's just, I mean... 230 00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:37,777 do you guys actually like this? 231 00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,946 ‐Yeah. ‐You‐you look beautiful. 232 00:09:39,946 --> 00:09:41,448 DANIELLE: Yes. I may be drunk, 233 00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:43,249 but you know that I got your back. 234 00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,919 You know? I mean, I'm loving this... 235 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,954 beaded, tulle, slutty thing. 236 00:09:47,954 --> 00:09:50,056 ‐It is a little slutty. Just ‐Slutty? 237 00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:52,325 ‐a little slutty. ‐I don't think slutty's the vibe. 238 00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,660 ‐Is it too slutty? ‐That's... 239 00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,095 ‐ANGELINE: No! ‐No. There's literally 240 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:57,063 no such thing as too slutty at a wedding. 241 00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,898 ‐DANIELLE: Agreed. ‐Okay? Because it's all virgin, 242 00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:01,901 but also a virgin who kinda knows what she's doing. 243 00:10:01,901 --> 00:10:04,037 ‐Okay? ‐ANGELINE: Okay. 244 00:10:04,037 --> 00:10:06,439 ‐I see you. ‐Okay? Yeah, let's get you checked out, 245 00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,042 get me blacked out at Molly Malone's, right? 246 00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,543 ANGELINE: Okay, Kate. 247 00:10:10,543 --> 00:10:12,946 Okay, Kate. 248 00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,347 ANGELINE: What do you think about this one? 249 00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:15,615 DANIELLE: Oh, you can see right through that. 250 00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:17,083 ‐Don't you think? ‐ANGELINE: Yeah. 251 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,752 ‐(chuckles) ‐DANIELLE: God, I could wear this. 252 00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:22,622 ‐What if I wore this to Molly Malone's? ‐ANGELINE: Girl. 253 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,624 ♪ ♪ 254 00:10:29,095 --> 00:10:30,263 (phone vibrates) 255 00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:48,515 ‐♪ I get knocked down, but I get up again ♪ ‐(indistinct chatter) 256 00:10:48,515 --> 00:10:49,616 ♪ You're never gonna keep me down... ♪ 257 00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:52,385 ‐Do you play video games? ‐Uh, yes. 258 00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:55,355 I'm a man in his twenties, so by law I have to. 259 00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:58,124 ‐You? ‐Of course. 260 00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:00,727 You don't really strike me as much of a gamer. I'm sorry. 261 00:11:00,727 --> 00:11:02,495 I mean, thank you, but 262 00:11:02,495 --> 00:11:04,831 I literally realized I was trans when I was eight 263 00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:07,100 and Pokémon asked me if I was a boy or a girl, 264 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:09,802 so I might be a bit of a gamer. 265 00:11:09,802 --> 00:11:12,305 Do you want to know my dorkiest secret to staying sober? 266 00:11:12,305 --> 00:11:13,640 JAMES: Please. 267 00:11:13,640 --> 00:11:17,110 Treat every day like a quest in a video game. 268 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,779 I check off my goals, give myself points, 269 00:11:19,779 --> 00:11:22,448 and if I end the day without giving in to the temptations 270 00:11:22,448 --> 00:11:24,150 of the evil wizard Drinko, 271 00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:26,386 I get a reward. 272 00:11:26,386 --> 00:11:29,055 Got to work on "Drinko." But I get it. 273 00:11:29,055 --> 00:11:32,225 It's kind of like what I do, but fun. 274 00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:34,060 I started doing it when I was first transitioning 275 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,495 so I could get through the day 276 00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:38,031 without everything feeling so heavy. 277 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,833 When I got sober, the skills transferred over. 278 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:41,734 Tequila shot? 279 00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:44,237 Uh, uh, Sword of Sobriety. 280 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:45,705 R‐Right? Yeah? Is that... 281 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:46,839 ‐that okay? ‐That's perfect. 282 00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:49,642 ‐That was for her, don't worry. ‐Okay. 283 00:11:49,642 --> 00:11:51,077 Brring, brring, brring! Points. 284 00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:01,254 ‐(laughs) I saw‐I saw... ‐Oh, my God, Samantha. 285 00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:04,257 Hey, Angeline. I saw you guys on Instagram. How are you? 286 00:12:04,257 --> 00:12:07,126 So weird. I thought I blocked you. 287 00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:08,761 What are you doing here? 288 00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:10,997 ‐I'm here to help Brit with... ‐ANGELINE: Brittany? 289 00:12:10,997 --> 00:12:12,332 BRIT: Yeah? 290 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,538 BRIT: I‐I texted her. 291 00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:19,906 I know Haitian Creole, by the way. 292 00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,408 Only the swear words. It's fine. Hi. 293 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,143 ‐Hi. ‐Uh... I thought... 294 00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:26,846 I didn't know if you would come. I‐I just... 295 00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:28,147 Look, I know it's weird, but I just... 296 00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:29,882 ‐I really need your help. ‐Totally. 297 00:12:29,882 --> 00:12:31,417 No, I came as fast as I could, considering I can't drive 298 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,586 and I'm banned from all rideshares, so... 299 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,422 Oh! Who's this new person with an opinion 300 00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:39,292 we can only hope aligns with the general consensus? 301 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:42,428 ‐No, it's okay. She's my... ‐Oh, friend... ish. 302 00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,264 ‐Kind of former... ‐Yeah. 303 00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:45,832 ‐It's a whole thing, 'cause, like, she used to date... ‐I don't... 304 00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:47,967 Aah! So good. Um, listen, 305 00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:49,235 I'm gonna give you the lay of the land. 306 00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:51,104 We've tried on a lot of amazing dresses 307 00:12:51,104 --> 00:12:54,374 ‐and we all love this one. ‐BRIT: Oh. 308 00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:56,409 Sor... I thought that you liked the boat neck one. 309 00:12:56,409 --> 00:12:57,644 I love the boat neck one on you. 310 00:12:57,644 --> 00:13:01,481 Oh, my God, I... just so many great options, 311 00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,650 just so little time. 312 00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:06,019 Do you have another bride coming in, or... 313 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,521 ‐No, she's been the focus for just hours and hours. ‐SAMANTHA: Yeah. 314 00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:10,423 Kind of seems like there's... there's no one else 315 00:13:10,423 --> 00:13:11,791 ‐in the store. I don't know who else ‐KATE: Right? 316 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,159 ‐you would need to be helping. ‐Right? 'Cause it's been 317 00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:15,928 ‐such a long day already. ‐Right. You know, I'm gonna 318 00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:17,397 ‐pick out some more dresses and I think... ‐KATE: Okay. 319 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:18,831 I think we'll have some fun. 320 00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:20,667 ‐Okay, I know we will. ‐Yeah, okay. 321 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,070 Speaking of time, I just want to remind you 322 00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:26,039 that once you finally order the dress, 323 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:29,709 it will be another ten weeks, plus three for alterations. 324 00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:32,645 Also, it is St. Patrick's Day, and, ugh, 325 00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,448 it's more fun, you know, like, not in a store. 326 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:38,284 ‐Aah! Okay? Okay, great. ‐Okay. 327 00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:40,820 ‐You look so good. ‐Thank you. 328 00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:43,122 Right, okay. 329 00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:44,657 ‐You got it. ‐BRIT: Mm‐hmm. 330 00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:46,559 ‐Got this, girl. Go team. ‐Right. Mm. 331 00:13:51,030 --> 00:13:53,232 You all are gonna shit yourselves. 332 00:13:53,232 --> 00:13:55,201 ‐Yeah. ‐Oh, no, I... 333 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:57,804 ‐WOMEN: Oh! ‐KATE: This is the one. 334 00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,506 ‐Aw. ‐Oh, wow. 335 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:02,475 ‐This is the one. ‐BRIT: Honestly, 336 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:04,677 it's the first dress that hasn't made me want to burst into tears 337 00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:07,647 when I look in the mirror, so... that's something? 338 00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,182 No, no, no, the bar has to be higher than 339 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,150 "this dress didn't make me want to cry", okay? 340 00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:12,985 Besides, the whole fairy‐tale wedding thing 341 00:14:12,985 --> 00:14:16,155 is a bunch of patriarchal bullshit and a total cash grab. 342 00:14:16,155 --> 00:14:18,191 ‐I need you to shut up. ‐SAMANTHA (chuckles): Okay. 343 00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,893 I need you to hold this. 344 00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:23,730 I've literally tried on every other dress in the store. 345 00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:26,733 I know, but Brit, maybe you're not a dress person, okay? 346 00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,167 Hey, remember that time you wore the pantsuit 347 00:14:28,167 --> 00:14:29,469 to the Christmas party? 348 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,537 You looked like a tiny little Michelle Obama. 349 00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:34,540 You're Brit Monclair, you know? You got a full ride to Harvard, 350 00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,176 you pull Tonka trucks out of peoples' buttholes. 351 00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:39,212 You can wear whatever the hell you want to your wedding. 352 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,513 It doesn't matter. 353 00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:43,216 Thank you for saying that. 354 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,851 You know, Tonka trucks are only ten percent of my job. 355 00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:46,452 KATE: Okay, so, you know what, 356 00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:49,722 I am just gonna go change into my going‐out dress. 357 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,725 Basically Spanx with an open flap in my undercarriage. 358 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,094 But you know what, if you need anything at all, 359 00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:57,263 just call out for Kate Flanagan. 360 00:14:57,263 --> 00:14:59,365 That's my last name: Flanagan. 361 00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:02,168 I'm literally Irish. This was a hate crime, 362 00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:04,237 ‐what you did today. ‐SAMANTHA: Okay. All right, Kate. 363 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,272 You know what, get out of my store. 364 00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:08,741 ‐Oh, got it. (laughs) ‐Yeah. 365 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,043 ‐(whoops) ‐We're in. 366 00:15:11,043 --> 00:15:13,579 Oh, I didn't kiss the mezuzah. Oh. 367 00:15:13,579 --> 00:15:15,014 It's all right. 368 00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:17,083 ‐It's okay. All right. ‐It's St. Patrick's Day. 369 00:15:17,083 --> 00:15:20,686 St. Patrick's Day, yes. Tomorrow for the mezuzah. 370 00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:22,455 Oh. Methinks milady 371 00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,690 ‐likes a good Irish jig. ‐Oh! 372 00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:28,227 I love Irish jigs. My feet hurt. 373 00:15:28,227 --> 00:15:30,229 Come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here. 374 00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,231 Mm... 375 00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,008 Are we, uh... 376 00:15:43,042 --> 00:15:44,444 Are we alone? 377 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,814 Samantha! 378 00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,315 I guess she went out. 379 00:15:49,315 --> 00:15:53,186 Oh. Or she's deaf. Mm. 380 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,955 Um, should we, uh... 381 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,024 go to your boudoir? 382 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,198 Oh. 383 00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:08,468 Oh. (grunts) 384 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,837 I have something to tell you. 385 00:16:10,837 --> 00:16:13,105 Okay. 386 00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:16,976 It's been a while for me. 387 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:20,746 Uh... two and a half years. 388 00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:22,882 To be exact. (chuckles) 389 00:16:22,882 --> 00:16:25,017 (short chuckle) 390 00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:28,187 ‐I know. I know, I know. ‐God... 391 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,858 It's okay. I've... 392 00:16:31,858 --> 00:16:33,993 never even done it before. 393 00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:41,667 Okay, what‐what... what can I do 394 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,904 to make you feel comfortable? 395 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:50,443 Make me 30 years younger. 396 00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:53,045 Why would I do that? 397 00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:55,481 I want to make love to this you. 398 00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:02,321 You take as much time as you need. 399 00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:05,992 And I will be right here. 400 00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:07,426 Not going anywhere. 401 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:11,764 How about a foot rub? 402 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:17,570 ‐Oh, so now? All right, great. ‐Yes, now. 403 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,472 ‐♪ ♪ ‐(indistinct chatter) 404 00:17:24,810 --> 00:17:27,480 ‐(shouts) ‐That's them. 405 00:17:29,815 --> 00:17:31,851 James! 406 00:17:33,319 --> 00:17:34,554 What's up? 407 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:35,888 ‐Can I get the keys? ‐Who's this? 408 00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,891 ‐This is Mindy. Uh, she's my... ‐Fiancée. 409 00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,326 We're engaged. 410 00:17:40,326 --> 00:17:42,929 Wow, James. You played this one close to the vest. 411 00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:45,898 Right, and we have a hot date to, uh, put away groceries, 412 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,467 ‐so can I get the keys, please? ‐Oh. Oh, yeah. 413 00:17:48,467 --> 00:17:50,403 The keys... Ooh! 414 00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,172 Bro, you are only getting these keys if you play us. 415 00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:54,774 Beer pong. Winner gets the keys. 416 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:56,676 JAMES: Oh, come on, man. 417 00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:00,713 Don't worry. I got you. 418 00:18:00,713 --> 00:18:02,515 ‐BLAKE: Dude, you know he's sober. ‐But he's here. 419 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,350 Maybe he, like, changed his mind? 420 00:18:04,350 --> 00:18:05,751 If they make one, what are we gonna do? 421 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,720 Pour it out on the ground. This place is a shithole. 422 00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,256 Come on. This is the final boss battle. 423 00:18:10,256 --> 00:18:11,924 ♪ ♪ 424 00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,292 (cheering) 425 00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:21,634 ‐HENRY: No keys. ‐BLAKE: No keys. 426 00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,736 ‐No keys. No keys. ‐No keys. No keys. 427 00:18:23,736 --> 00:18:24,704 ‐No keys. ‐No keys. 428 00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,107 You did it! 429 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,709 ‐Did y'all see that? ‐Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! 430 00:18:29,709 --> 00:18:31,210 (cheering) 431 00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:32,678 Thanks. 432 00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,680 ‐You guys are gonna go straight home, right? ‐Yeah. 433 00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,115 ‐No doubt. ‐Okay. ‐Thank you. 434 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,151 ‐Thank you. ‐Bye, babe. ‐You're welcome. Bye. 435 00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:41,554 DANIELLE: Bye! 436 00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:42,888 ‐Wow. ‐Hi, sorry. 437 00:18:42,888 --> 00:18:44,557 ‐Hi. ‐Um... 438 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,726 I just wanted to know which one you ended up with, 439 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,095 ‐Oh. ‐'cause they're all so great and so beautiful. 440 00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:51,430 ‐Well... ‐I mean, truly spectacular options. 441 00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:53,933 Mm. Yeah, you don't really have to lie about it. It's okay. 442 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:56,002 I know they're all really, really bad. 443 00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:58,404 ‐Yeah, they're not great. ‐Like 27 Dresses. Honestly. 444 00:18:58,404 --> 00:18:59,939 Yeah. 445 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:02,341 Um, I just also wanted to say, 446 00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:03,776 you know, if you ever need, 447 00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:06,145 like, another set of eyes or something, 448 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,314 uh, when you go to another place, I'm around 449 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,483 ‐and I'm... I could‐I could come with you. to the next spot ‐Yeah, ex... Yeah, no... 450 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:11,817 ‐if you want. Like... ‐Uh... 451 00:19:12,885 --> 00:19:14,820 You know what, thanks, I‐I, uh... 452 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,555 That's a really nice offer, Sam. 453 00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:18,524 Thank you. Bye. 454 00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:25,131 ‐I'm around. ‐No, I know. Thank you. 455 00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:26,799 No, of course. And, uh, have a‐have a good day, 456 00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:29,635 and I... and I'll see you another time, and if I don't, 457 00:19:29,635 --> 00:19:31,771 that's totally fine, too, but, i‐in the meantime, 458 00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:34,306 you know, stay well and take care of you. 459 00:19:34,306 --> 00:19:36,308 Yeah. I... What? 460 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:41,647 Can I have a small black coffee, please. 461 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,053 ‐Thanks. ‐MINDY: I recognize that person. 462 00:19:47,053 --> 00:19:49,321 ‐Hmm? ‐MINDY: (whoops) Sammy Fink! 463 00:19:49,321 --> 00:19:52,291 ‐JAMES: All alone on St. Paddy's Day night, huh? ‐Oh, hi. 464 00:19:52,291 --> 00:19:55,194 ‐Hi. ‐Didn't realize you two were hangout friends. Nice. 465 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,896 Uh, we weren't. Now we are. 466 00:19:58,064 --> 00:19:59,432 ‐It's complicated. ‐Okay. 467 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:02,234 He's the cishet wingman of my dreams. 468 00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:03,736 ‐(phone vibrates) ‐Ah. Oh, hang on. 469 00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:06,238 Dispatches from the trenches. 470 00:20:06,238 --> 00:20:09,308 ‐(indistinct chatter) ‐Sammy! 471 00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:11,844 I'm so proud of you 472 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,480 and your sobriety. 473 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,683 ‐And we got a message for you. ‐(whooping) 474 00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,586 Sam. Don't come in here. 475 00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:23,956 ‐Don't do it. Don't‐don't do it. ‐Don't... don't do it. Shh. 476 00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:26,358 ‐(whoops) ‐I love you, Sammy. Um... 477 00:20:26,358 --> 00:20:29,595 I'll see you in, like, two days when I'm done being hungover. 478 00:20:29,595 --> 00:20:32,231 Mwah! Have a good one. 479 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,233 Oh, they're about to start the butt cheek race! 480 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:35,801 ‐TINA: Butt cheek! ‐Oh, I got to go. 481 00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:38,170 Um, I'm gonna do a toast. 482 00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:40,840 Yeah, I'm a toast guy now. Uh, to us. 483 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:43,175 There's barf flowing in the streets and none of it is ours. 484 00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:46,378 ‐Amen. ‐Love that. 485 00:20:46,378 --> 00:20:48,414 How was that? Was that all right? 486 00:20:48,414 --> 00:20:50,516 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 487 00:20:50,566 --> 00:20:55,116 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36974

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