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1
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:13,987
Ripped and corrected by
- YoungJedi -
2
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,460
Son, 30 is a funny age.
3
00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:20,379
It looks different on everyone.
4
00:00:20,379 --> 00:00:23,090
Some 30-year-olds
are the picture of maturity,
5
00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:25,634
while others are way,
way, way less grown up.
6
00:00:27,136 --> 00:00:28,929
I was more in the latter group.
7
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:31,015
What up, my bitches?
8
00:00:33,183 --> 00:00:35,894
Honored to be
one of your bitches.
9
00:00:35,894 --> 00:00:38,522
I'm not going to lie.
This dress is Nip Slip City,
10
00:00:38,522 --> 00:00:40,691
but I don't care. I had to level up
11
00:00:40,691 --> 00:00:42,568
because Drew is taking me
12
00:00:42,568 --> 00:00:45,613
to Bocca Partito tonight.
13
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:47,615
Bocca Partito!?
14
00:00:47,615 --> 00:00:51,035
Dang, Drew! That's like a
"no prices on the menu" restaurant.
15
00:00:51,035 --> 00:00:52,536
Alright, I'm calling it now.
16
00:00:52,536 --> 00:00:55,873
You are having the best
birthday weekend ever.
17
00:00:55,873 --> 00:00:58,626
You are snatched and sipping
on some fancy wine
18
00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:00,836
with Drew tonight
to close out your 20s.
19
00:01:00,836 --> 00:01:03,172
And then tomorrow, you turn 30,
20
00:01:03,172 --> 00:01:05,966
and we will be drinking
so many 40s,
21
00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,426
you'll be hung over to your 50s.
22
00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:12,556
Speaking of, how's my
party going, party planner?
23
00:01:12,556 --> 00:01:14,391
I'm crushing it.
All you have to do
24
00:01:14,391 --> 00:01:16,894
is show up to our apartment tomorrow
night, dressed as Christina Aguilera
25
00:01:16,894 --> 00:01:19,271
- from the Dirrty video.
- Mm! Mm!
26
00:01:19,271 --> 00:01:20,230
Wait, why?
27
00:01:20,230 --> 00:01:22,316
Wait, did you not open my evite?
28
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,151
That's the theme of my party.
29
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:26,320
It's my favorite music video of all time.
30
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,489
It's so... dirty!
- Dirty!
31
00:01:29,907 --> 00:01:32,034
Hey, Jess, this is going
to be our first party together
32
00:01:32,034 --> 00:01:33,744
since my birthday at Chuck E. Cheese.
33
00:01:33,744 --> 00:01:35,537
Oh yeah. You turned 5.
34
00:01:35,537 --> 00:01:37,581
Mom turned out to be boning Chuck.
35
00:01:37,581 --> 00:01:40,376
Wait, your mum cheated on your dad
with a guy dressed as a mouse?
36
00:01:40,376 --> 00:01:43,003
No, no, no. Just some random guy
from the neighborhood named Chuck.
37
00:01:43,003 --> 00:01:45,256
No relation to Mr. E. Cheese.
38
00:01:45,256 --> 00:01:46,590
And then she left our dad,
39
00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:48,634
married him, and moved Ellen
halfway across the country.
40
00:01:49,093 --> 00:01:51,887
But, tomorrow night,
we're going to make up for lost time.
41
00:01:51,887 --> 00:01:53,097
Yes, yes, we are. In fact,
42
00:01:53,097 --> 00:01:54,932
maybe we can even hit on
some girls together, you know?
43
00:01:54,932 --> 00:01:57,268
The Walker siblings on the prowl?
44
00:01:57,268 --> 00:01:59,019
Exactly!
45
00:01:59,019 --> 00:02:01,438
- Except that's not my last name.
- What?
46
00:02:01,438 --> 00:02:03,774
I took Mom's last name
after the divorce, remember?
47
00:02:03,774 --> 00:02:06,986
Right! The Gilbert-hyphen-Walkers
on the prowl.
48
00:02:06,986 --> 00:02:10,656
Siblings and wing people.
One might call us wing sibs.
49
00:02:10,656 --> 00:02:11,740
Ooh! Trademark!
50
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,701
You can't call trademark.
I just said it.
51
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:16,453
Yeah, and you should also
have said trademark.
52
00:02:17,162 --> 00:02:18,372
Hey, Jasper.
53
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:21,625
How about a group shot
for Sophie?
54
00:02:21,625 --> 00:02:23,877
And pour yourself one, too.
55
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,797
Like I said, I was one kind of grown-up...
56
00:02:26,797 --> 00:02:28,382
Shots! Shots! Shots!
57
00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,134
...but Drew was another.
58
00:02:30,134 --> 00:02:31,343
I was going to get a puppy,
59
00:02:31,343 --> 00:02:34,054
but there's so many senior dogs
who need homes.
60
00:02:34,054 --> 00:02:36,974
You know, as soon as I saw
Rue McClanahan's big brown eyes,
61
00:02:36,974 --> 00:02:38,517
I... I melted.
62
00:02:38,517 --> 00:02:40,811
Wait, did you name your senior dog
63
00:02:40,811 --> 00:02:42,313
after one of the Golden Girls?
64
00:02:42,313 --> 00:02:45,149
Oh, not just one of them. The best.
65
00:02:45,149 --> 00:02:47,818
Blanche hive, rise up.
66
00:02:48,986 --> 00:02:50,237
Uh, excuse me. Uh,
67
00:02:50,237 --> 00:02:53,616
can we get a bottle of
the 2016 Montepulciano, please?
68
00:02:56,285 --> 00:02:57,745
He was a real adult.
69
00:02:58,621 --> 00:03:00,789
And I was real into it.
70
00:03:03,459 --> 00:03:05,419
This should be a workout. Kegfit.
71
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,421
- Trademark!
- Damn it!
72
00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:11,342
What is that hideous ring?
Are you a youth group minister?
73
00:03:11,342 --> 00:03:14,053
Man-- No! This is my man-gagement ring.
74
00:03:14,053 --> 00:03:16,513
Trademark! Ha! Got it!
75
00:03:16,513 --> 00:03:17,973
You can have it.
76
00:03:17,973 --> 00:03:21,060
Whatever. Isn't this gorgeous
yet masculine?
77
00:03:21,060 --> 00:03:24,021
This is pewter with
real dinosaur bone inlay.
78
00:03:24,021 --> 00:03:26,190
You're not getting any bone
or lay wearing that.
79
00:03:26,857 --> 00:03:28,442
Hannah got that for you?
80
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:30,569
No, she hates it.
81
00:03:30,569 --> 00:03:31,946
Sorry, I'm late.
82
00:03:31,946 --> 00:03:34,573
I still can't figure out
this dang MetroCard swipes,
83
00:03:34,573 --> 00:03:36,492
so I walked here.
Twenty-six blocks.
84
00:03:36,492 --> 00:03:38,077
Oh. Well look, the MetroCard
swipe is easy.
85
00:03:38,077 --> 00:03:40,287
You just gotta do it with confidence.
Zing! Like that.
86
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:43,165
Uh, no! Don't listen to him.
You got to do it slow,
87
00:03:43,165 --> 00:03:44,416
methodical like, uh!
88
00:03:44,416 --> 00:03:46,126
You sound so stupid right now.
89
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:48,212
Obviously, it's a zing! Not an, uh!
90
00:03:48,212 --> 00:03:49,713
- The "uh" works, man.
- No.
91
00:03:49,713 --> 00:03:52,633
- Zing! Zing! Zing--
- Uh! Uh!
92
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:53,884
Shut the zing up!
93
00:03:56,220 --> 00:03:58,555
So, tomorrow's a big night for us.
94
00:03:59,098 --> 00:04:01,141
Mum always says
a couple isn't a couple
95
00:04:01,141 --> 00:04:03,227
until they attend a soirée arm-in-arm.
96
00:04:04,019 --> 00:04:06,605
I was wondering,
how should I refer to you at the party?
97
00:04:06,605 --> 00:04:07,982
My boo?
98
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:09,692
My girlfriend?
99
00:04:09,692 --> 00:04:10,901
Ooh! My wonderwall.
100
00:04:12,027 --> 00:04:13,779
Interesting.
101
00:04:13,779 --> 00:04:15,364
Look, Charlie,
102
00:04:15,364 --> 00:04:16,615
things are going great between us,
103
00:04:16,615 --> 00:04:18,534
but we haven't decided
to be, like...
104
00:04:18,534 --> 00:04:19,785
together together.
105
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:22,454
No, I know.
106
00:04:22,454 --> 00:04:25,374
I guess I thought we're
at least somewhat together.
107
00:04:25,374 --> 00:04:28,085
You know. I did walk away
from generational wealth
108
00:04:28,085 --> 00:04:29,962
and move across an ocean
to be with you.
109
00:04:29,962 --> 00:04:32,590
And that was so sweet of you.
110
00:04:32,590 --> 00:04:35,175
We definitely are somewhat together,
111
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,761
but we're also young and fun
112
00:04:37,761 --> 00:04:39,680
and spontaneous.
113
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,348
Do I go home with you tomorrow night?
114
00:04:41,348 --> 00:04:44,059
Maybe. Do I go home with Jeff Goldblum
115
00:04:44,059 --> 00:04:46,145
and his hot yoga wife again?
116
00:04:46,145 --> 00:04:47,771
Maybe.
117
00:04:48,272 --> 00:04:49,607
Fine.
118
00:04:49,607 --> 00:04:52,401
So, I can just canoodle with whomever
I want, and you'll be fine with it.
119
00:04:52,401 --> 00:04:55,779
Exactly. I'm so glad
you're on board. Mwah!
120
00:04:57,573 --> 00:04:59,158
That's a no on girlfriend then.
121
00:05:03,787 --> 00:05:06,040
- You live in Queens, right?
- Mm-hmm.
122
00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,541
'Cause, you know,
the library in Astoria is...
123
00:05:09,126 --> 00:05:12,296
Yeah, you know I'm tipsy when
I start recommending libraries.
124
00:05:13,339 --> 00:05:14,548
One more drink,
125
00:05:14,548 --> 00:05:16,425
I'm going to start listing
my favorite community gardens.
126
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:20,638
Um... Maybe we should call it a night.
127
00:05:20,638 --> 00:05:23,724
Really? Oh my god,
I feel like we just sat down.
128
00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:25,643
Me, too, but, um...
129
00:05:25,643 --> 00:05:28,437
judging by their faces,
we've been here a while.
130
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:35,653
I had a great time tonight.
131
00:05:35,653 --> 00:05:37,071
Me, too.
132
00:05:40,407 --> 00:05:43,494
A taxi guy, huh? Wow.
133
00:05:43,494 --> 00:05:45,162
Very retro of you.
134
00:05:45,496 --> 00:05:48,666
Well, there's something magical
about taxis in this city, you know?
135
00:05:49,083 --> 00:05:51,710
The way you can
just raise your arm and...
136
00:05:53,629 --> 00:05:54,546
Damn.
137
00:05:55,214 --> 00:05:56,882
This would've been so cool
138
00:05:56,882 --> 00:05:59,051
if one showed up just right then.
139
00:05:59,426 --> 00:06:01,720
When you tell this story
of this date in the future,
140
00:06:01,720 --> 00:06:04,014
just promise me
you will change that part.
141
00:06:04,014 --> 00:06:05,683
Whoops!
142
00:06:06,183 --> 00:06:07,309
What makes you so sure
143
00:06:07,309 --> 00:06:09,520
I'm going to tell the story
of this date in the future?
144
00:06:10,437 --> 00:06:13,565
Not sure. Just, um... hopeful.
145
00:06:13,565 --> 00:06:14,650
Mm.
146
00:06:21,031 --> 00:06:23,450
Now you show up?
147
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:26,203
Right now. Hi.
148
00:06:28,914 --> 00:06:31,333
Hey, um, what are you
doing tomorrow night?
149
00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:35,004
Tomorrow? As in 24 hours from now?
150
00:06:35,546 --> 00:06:37,423
Uh-- Yeah, I know.
151
00:06:37,423 --> 00:06:39,925
You're not supposed to ask
a girl out two nights in a row,
152
00:06:39,925 --> 00:06:42,219
but, um, I like you, Sophie,
153
00:06:42,219 --> 00:06:44,388
and I want to see you again.
154
00:06:45,264 --> 00:06:47,016
But, if it's too soon...
155
00:06:47,016 --> 00:06:49,018
No, it's not too soon.
156
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,061
It's just...
157
00:06:51,604 --> 00:06:53,564
Tomorrow night's my birthday party.
158
00:06:53,564 --> 00:06:55,316
I'm turning 30.
159
00:06:56,859 --> 00:06:58,527
Do you want to stop by?
160
00:06:58,527 --> 00:06:59,778
I'd love to.
161
00:07:00,571 --> 00:07:01,864
What can I bring?
162
00:07:01,864 --> 00:07:04,033
I've got a bottle of Sancerre,
163
00:07:04,033 --> 00:07:05,826
or-or a nice Pouilly-Fuissé,
164
00:07:05,826 --> 00:07:08,412
or, uh, maybe a Beaujolais Nouveau
165
00:07:08,412 --> 00:07:10,956
to celebrate the nouveau
decade of your life.
166
00:07:10,956 --> 00:07:12,917
And that's when I realized
167
00:07:12,917 --> 00:07:15,377
I had invited a classy-ass man
168
00:07:15,377 --> 00:07:17,046
to a trashy-ass rager.
169
00:07:17,046 --> 00:07:19,256
Go! Go! Go! Come on, Ellen!
170
00:07:19,256 --> 00:07:20,507
Hold up!
171
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,176
We're gonna need to 180 this party stat.
172
00:07:25,638 --> 00:07:28,724
Okay! I know bobbing for apples
in tequila is a little out there,
173
00:07:28,724 --> 00:07:30,976
and sure, if you open your eyes,
you can go blind.
174
00:07:30,976 --> 00:07:33,270
- No, but what a way to go.
- I'm up next!
175
00:07:33,270 --> 00:07:35,648
Stop! No tequila bobbing, okay?
176
00:07:35,648 --> 00:07:37,775
And we're going to need
to get real cups.
177
00:07:37,775 --> 00:07:39,860
Like, cups made of actual glass.
178
00:07:39,860 --> 00:07:41,779
And we're going to need
to get some real food.
179
00:07:41,779 --> 00:07:43,781
Nothing flavored "nacho cheesier."
180
00:07:43,781 --> 00:07:46,283
Slow down! Did something
happen on your date?
181
00:07:46,283 --> 00:07:48,744
Did you get hit by another Citi Bike?
Are you concussed?
182
00:07:48,744 --> 00:07:51,163
No. No, my date was great.
183
00:07:51,163 --> 00:07:54,250
Drew is-- is direct, and he's grown up.
184
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:56,252
He signals for the check like this.
185
00:07:57,419 --> 00:07:59,338
But, I invited him to this party tomorrow,
186
00:07:59,338 --> 00:08:01,757
- so we're going to need to pivot.
- Hold up!
187
00:08:01,757 --> 00:08:03,467
You were all about Dirty 30,
188
00:08:03,467 --> 00:08:05,469
but then Drew signaled
for the check like my grandpa,
189
00:08:05,469 --> 00:08:07,763
and now, you want to change this
into some boring-ass,
190
00:08:07,763 --> 00:08:10,849
mature person party at
the last minute to impress him?
191
00:08:11,392 --> 00:08:12,977
- Correct.
- Okay--
192
00:08:12,977 --> 00:08:14,311
Great. I'm so glad you understand.
193
00:08:14,311 --> 00:08:16,981
I'm going to update
the invite right now.
194
00:08:16,981 --> 00:08:20,276
No more dirty dress code.
Okay, classy cocktail attire.
195
00:08:20,818 --> 00:08:22,486
Okay!
196
00:08:22,486 --> 00:08:24,780
Keg number two has arrived.
197
00:08:24,780 --> 00:08:26,574
Ooh, uh, don't hate me,
198
00:08:26,574 --> 00:08:29,201
but could we do cocktails
for the party instead?
199
00:08:29,201 --> 00:08:31,328
Ooh yes. I've been
noodling with absinthe--
200
00:08:39,962 --> 00:08:41,547
We're going to take that to the grave,
201
00:08:41,547 --> 00:08:43,299
I Know What You Did Last Summer style.
202
00:08:48,137 --> 00:08:51,599
Okay, we've got a raw bar ready to go.
203
00:08:51,599 --> 00:08:53,100
Candles are being lit.
204
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,519
Valentina,
how are the new books looking?
205
00:08:55,519 --> 00:08:56,854
Same as they looked at Goodwill
206
00:08:56,854 --> 00:08:58,522
a couple of hours ago
before you bought them.
207
00:08:59,023 --> 00:09:00,941
Why does a party need a book nook?
208
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,568
So I look like a grown-up.
209
00:09:02,568 --> 00:09:06,196
Quit questioning my classy,
mature choices!
210
00:09:06,196 --> 00:09:07,740
Ladies?
211
00:09:07,740 --> 00:09:09,742
Care for this evening's
signature cocktail?
212
00:09:09,742 --> 00:09:11,827
The Sophisticated Sophie.
213
00:09:12,453 --> 00:09:13,662
Also, yes,
214
00:09:13,662 --> 00:09:16,332
I did polish my man-gagement ring
for its debut tonight.
215
00:09:17,082 --> 00:09:19,710
Hm, what did you
polish it with? Dork juice?
216
00:09:21,462 --> 00:09:22,796
Crap!
217
00:09:22,796 --> 00:09:25,633
Forgot to call to get
the heat pipe fixed! Mitt me.
218
00:09:29,053 --> 00:09:30,888
Be careful, Soph.
219
00:09:34,183 --> 00:09:35,684
Ah!
220
00:09:37,102 --> 00:09:38,729
I just made it angrier!
221
00:09:38,729 --> 00:09:40,731
Mm...
222
00:09:40,731 --> 00:09:41,815
Seriously?
223
00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,484
It's exactly 8:00 PM.
224
00:09:43,484 --> 00:09:46,487
What kind of a serial killer
shows up at the exact--
225
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:51,992
Hi. Uh, right on time. I love that.
226
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,494
Happy birthday.
227
00:09:53,494 --> 00:09:56,497
I was just doing a few,
uh, home improvements.
228
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:58,707
Come in.
229
00:09:58,707 --> 00:10:00,793
Uh, we have a mixologist over there.
230
00:10:00,793 --> 00:10:02,044
Oh, you know Sid.
231
00:10:02,044 --> 00:10:04,213
And a raw bar over there.
232
00:10:04,755 --> 00:10:08,384
And the book nook is where
it's always been.
233
00:10:08,384 --> 00:10:11,303
Happy birthday, Soph.
What's going on? Hey...
234
00:10:11,303 --> 00:10:13,180
Was this a costume party?
235
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,474
No. Mm. No, it's just...
236
00:10:15,474 --> 00:10:18,978
fashion, you know.
The early aughts are back.
237
00:10:24,525 --> 00:10:27,027
Oh, Valentina. Hello.
238
00:10:29,071 --> 00:10:31,073
Uh, hi...
239
00:10:31,073 --> 00:10:34,034
You know you don't have
to act like we're strangers?
240
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:36,453
Oh, I'm not.
This is just how I treat people
241
00:10:36,453 --> 00:10:38,539
who I'm somewhat together with.
242
00:10:38,539 --> 00:10:39,540
Charlie...
243
00:10:39,957 --> 00:10:43,335
If you'll excuse me, I see somebody
that I may go home with.
244
00:10:43,335 --> 00:10:45,337
For sexual intercourse.
245
00:10:47,214 --> 00:10:49,133
Hey. Sorry that took so long.
246
00:10:49,133 --> 00:10:51,760
Sid keeps trying to get girls
to notice that he's man-gaged.
247
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:53,053
Here.
- Oh.
248
00:10:53,596 --> 00:10:55,180
I'm actually allergic to wine.
249
00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:57,433
- What?
- The sulfates make me really...
250
00:10:58,601 --> 00:10:59,977
pretty.
251
00:10:59,977 --> 00:11:01,520
Hey, she's cute.
252
00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:02,896
She's beautiful! Like...
253
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,398
Alright, this is perfect.
254
00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:06,734
It's time for the wing sibs
to take flight, okay?
255
00:11:06,734 --> 00:11:09,820
Follow me.
Hey, have you met Ellen?
256
00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:12,740
I'm Jesse, her big brother.
And you are...
257
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:14,116
I'm Holly.
258
00:11:14,116 --> 00:11:16,368
Holly? Well, deck the halls!
259
00:11:16,368 --> 00:11:18,287
Ellen here just moved to the Big Apple
260
00:11:18,287 --> 00:11:20,581
from a dairy farm. Crazy, right?
261
00:11:23,375 --> 00:11:25,753
We're not related by blood.
262
00:11:26,503 --> 00:11:28,672
- Hey! How are you?
- Hey.
263
00:11:28,672 --> 00:11:31,592
I'm sorry it's so hot in here.
Do you want me to take your jacket?
264
00:11:31,592 --> 00:11:34,845
No. I've got pit stains
I'm not sure I can come back from.
265
00:11:34,845 --> 00:11:37,056
But, maybe we can open the window?
266
00:11:37,056 --> 00:11:39,683
It's stuck shut.
267
00:11:39,683 --> 00:11:41,477
Yeah, I've been meaning
to get that fixed.
268
00:11:41,477 --> 00:11:42,603
It's all good.
269
00:11:42,603 --> 00:11:44,980
Um, tell me about these books.
270
00:11:44,980 --> 00:11:47,316
- Y-You highlighted a lot of this one.
- Yeah.
271
00:11:47,316 --> 00:11:50,069
Well, that's one of my faves.
Um, the...
272
00:11:50,069 --> 00:11:52,446
autobiography of Vanna White.
273
00:11:53,614 --> 00:11:55,449
Let's see, uh...
274
00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:57,076
The Joy of Gay Sex.
275
00:11:57,076 --> 00:11:58,452
Yeah.
276
00:11:58,452 --> 00:12:01,872
Just like to know what
everyone's up to... sexually. Hm.
277
00:12:03,707 --> 00:12:06,001
I'm gonna refresh your drink.
I'll be right back.
278
00:12:08,671 --> 00:12:11,090
I told you to screen the Goodwill books.
279
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,885
I did! This is a great read!
280
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:27,815
Yes, I saw you looking at me,
281
00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:30,693
- while I was talking to her.
- Maybe I was.
282
00:12:30,693 --> 00:12:33,612
And... how did it feel?
283
00:12:33,612 --> 00:12:36,991
It felt... extremely...
284
00:12:36,991 --> 00:12:37,992
hot.
285
00:12:39,493 --> 00:12:41,078
How do I explain this?
286
00:12:41,078 --> 00:12:42,955
I could tell you weren't
actually into her,
287
00:12:42,955 --> 00:12:44,915
but she was super into you,
288
00:12:44,915 --> 00:12:47,710
and knowing that
she couldn't have you,
289
00:12:47,710 --> 00:12:49,670
but I could...
290
00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:50,671
Hot.
291
00:12:51,964 --> 00:12:54,550
Right. I am having a bit
of trouble keeping up here.
292
00:12:55,009 --> 00:12:56,927
I thought you wanted
to talk to other guys tonight.
293
00:12:56,927 --> 00:12:58,178
I did.
294
00:12:58,929 --> 00:13:00,973
But now, I'd rather
watch you talk to other girls.
295
00:13:00,973 --> 00:13:03,684
Valentina, you are completely insane.
296
00:13:04,893 --> 00:13:07,146
I'm very into it.
297
00:13:07,146 --> 00:13:08,647
Right.
298
00:13:08,647 --> 00:13:10,149
See that Christina over there?
299
00:13:10,149 --> 00:13:13,193
I'm going to get her genie
all hot and bothered,
300
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,029
and leave it in the bottle.
301
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:18,741
- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.
302
00:13:18,741 --> 00:13:20,868
And I gotta say,
I love that ring you're wearing.
303
00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:21,952
Thank you. I just got it.
304
00:13:21,952 --> 00:13:25,497
I think it's awesome that you're
committed to your virginity. So brave.
305
00:13:26,916 --> 00:13:29,668
- Hm...
- Quick. Wine me.
306
00:13:33,130 --> 00:13:34,131
Mm...
307
00:13:36,175 --> 00:13:37,843
- You're friends with Drew.
- Mm-hmm.
308
00:13:37,843 --> 00:13:39,511
Does it seem like
he's having a good time?
309
00:13:39,511 --> 00:13:42,097
Yeah. Sophie, chill. Drew wanted
to come to your birthday party
310
00:13:42,097 --> 00:13:44,433
after your first date.
That means he's super into you.
311
00:13:44,433 --> 00:13:46,852
No. That means
he was into me last night,
312
00:13:46,852 --> 00:13:48,938
before he came
to this hot mess of a party.
313
00:13:48,938 --> 00:13:50,439
Emphasis on hot.
314
00:13:51,774 --> 00:13:54,485
- At least the food looks sophisticated.
- Mm-hmm.
315
00:13:54,485 --> 00:13:57,488
Look at these adorable
little baby quiches I made!
316
00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:58,864
Aw.
317
00:13:58,864 --> 00:14:00,366
- No!
- Ew...
318
00:14:02,826 --> 00:14:04,078
Okay.
319
00:14:05,246 --> 00:14:07,248
I mean, look
at the amazing raw bar.
320
00:14:09,959 --> 00:14:11,919
Uh...
321
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:13,879
There's something wrong
with those shrimp!
322
00:14:13,879 --> 00:14:15,589
Sophie, these are raw.
323
00:14:15,589 --> 00:14:17,216
- Yeah, it's a raw bar.
- Uh-huh.
324
00:14:17,216 --> 00:14:19,468
The oysters are raw. The shrimp
in a raw bar are cooked.
325
00:14:19,468 --> 00:14:21,178
- Seriously?
- Mm-hmm.
326
00:14:21,178 --> 00:14:23,973
I bet that is a very common mistake.
327
00:14:23,973 --> 00:14:26,141
No, I don't think so.
328
00:14:27,518 --> 00:14:29,270
So, how's it going with Holly?
329
00:14:30,229 --> 00:14:32,481
That's how it's going.
330
00:14:32,481 --> 00:14:34,191
Oh...
331
00:14:34,191 --> 00:14:36,110
Well, maybe she's just
a big Christina fan.
332
00:14:36,110 --> 00:14:37,820
Look, you're an amazing girl.
Here's what we're gonna do.
333
00:14:37,820 --> 00:14:40,030
We're not going to do anything.
334
00:14:40,030 --> 00:14:41,574
I don't wanna talk to you about it, okay?
335
00:14:42,241 --> 00:14:44,827
We need apps. Now. Please.
336
00:14:44,827 --> 00:14:48,414
Anything fancy. Fancy chips,
fancy crackers, fancy nuts.
337
00:14:48,414 --> 00:14:49,915
Here's 10 bucks.
338
00:14:49,915 --> 00:14:52,918
I'm sorry, do you think
I'm going shopping in 1962?
339
00:14:54,336 --> 00:14:55,671
I'll go.
340
00:14:57,131 --> 00:14:58,507
Hey!
341
00:14:58,507 --> 00:15:00,884
Ellen! Hey, wait up!
Look, look, look, look, look.
342
00:15:00,884 --> 00:15:02,428
I know you said you
didn't wanna talk about it,
343
00:15:02,428 --> 00:15:04,388
but I just want you to know
I totally get why you're upset.
344
00:15:04,388 --> 00:15:06,181
It sucks getting
blown off like that.
345
00:15:06,181 --> 00:15:08,058
I said I didn't want
to talk to you about it.
346
00:15:10,519 --> 00:15:11,562
Oh.
347
00:15:12,438 --> 00:15:14,356
How would you know
if I'm an amazing girl?
348
00:15:14,356 --> 00:15:15,774
You don't know anything about me.
349
00:15:15,774 --> 00:15:17,568
You don't know my last name
350
00:15:17,568 --> 00:15:19,778
or about my wine allergy.
351
00:15:19,778 --> 00:15:22,990
I own a produce farm, man, not dairy.
352
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:25,868
Wai-- So what, it's just,
like, a field of vegetables,
353
00:15:25,868 --> 00:15:27,286
and you watch them grow?
354
00:15:27,286 --> 00:15:29,330
Yes! That's what produce farms are!
355
00:15:30,831 --> 00:15:32,541
- Wow.
- Look.
356
00:15:32,541 --> 00:15:34,585
There was a time
I dreamed of having a big brother,
357
00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:36,837
like Matt on 7th Heaven,
358
00:15:36,837 --> 00:15:39,048
who would teach me
how to slide in baseball,
359
00:15:39,048 --> 00:15:41,842
or go to the church social
with me when my date drops out,
360
00:15:41,842 --> 00:15:43,886
or give me a talking to
when I start huffing--
361
00:15:43,886 --> 00:15:45,804
Wait, what? Y-you huffed paint?
362
00:15:45,804 --> 00:15:47,848
No! The kids on 7th Heaven did!
363
00:15:48,849 --> 00:15:50,434
- Right.
- Point is...
364
00:15:50,434 --> 00:15:52,019
you were there when I was little...
365
00:15:53,145 --> 00:15:54,480
and then you just disappeared.
366
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:57,983
So, I moved here,
thinking we could reconnect
367
00:15:57,983 --> 00:16:00,819
and pick up where we left off. But...
368
00:16:02,154 --> 00:16:04,156
Now, I don't know if we can.
369
00:16:04,156 --> 00:16:06,784
I think it might be a little
too late for the whole...
370
00:16:06,784 --> 00:16:08,035
sibs thing.
371
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:09,662
You know?
372
00:16:09,662 --> 00:16:11,997
We're more like...
373
00:16:11,997 --> 00:16:13,499
wing strangers.
374
00:16:14,875 --> 00:16:16,377
Trademark.
375
00:16:21,507 --> 00:16:24,301
You ever felt the eyes
of your partner on you,
376
00:16:24,301 --> 00:16:27,409
watching, wanting as you
chat someone else up?
377
00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:29,390
'Cause Val and I learned tonight
378
00:16:29,390 --> 00:16:32,184
that it is exhilarating... Oh!
379
00:16:32,184 --> 00:16:35,145
- You and Drew simply must try it.
- Ah, yeah.
380
00:16:35,145 --> 00:16:37,773
Sounds great, but we're
playing our own fun game tonight
381
00:16:37,773 --> 00:16:40,484
where I try not to kill him
with uncooked shrimp.
382
00:16:40,484 --> 00:16:41,652
Right now, I'm losing.
383
00:16:45,948 --> 00:16:46,865
Drew!
384
00:16:47,825 --> 00:16:49,660
- Watch out for that hot--
- Ow!
385
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:53,163
I can still remember
the smell of burnt flesh and shrimp.
386
00:16:53,914 --> 00:16:55,416
Oh, that was a bad party.
387
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,210
I'm so, so sorry.
388
00:16:58,210 --> 00:16:59,295
- Oh...
- I've been meaning
389
00:16:59,295 --> 00:17:01,463
to get that hot pipe fixed for a while.
390
00:17:05,634 --> 00:17:07,469
I've been meaning
to get that fixed, too.
391
00:17:08,512 --> 00:17:09,555
Hi...
392
00:17:13,434 --> 00:17:16,186
- This is so embarrassing, I'm so sorry.
- Oh, Sophie.
393
00:17:16,186 --> 00:17:18,731
- No, it-it's fine, really.
- No, it's not.
394
00:17:18,731 --> 00:17:20,608
You know what? The truth is, Drew,
395
00:17:20,608 --> 00:17:23,485
we're the same age,
but we're not at the same stage.
396
00:17:23,485 --> 00:17:26,155
Now, I'm rhyming,
and I gotta get out of here.
397
00:17:26,155 --> 00:17:27,156
Soph...
398
00:17:28,407 --> 00:17:29,533
Hi.
399
00:17:29,533 --> 00:17:30,868
Uh, this is Charlie.
400
00:17:30,868 --> 00:17:32,286
Hi, I'm Drew.
401
00:17:32,286 --> 00:17:34,788
- We've heard such fabulous things.
- Thank you.
402
00:17:38,459 --> 00:17:41,253
You know, I remember the day that Mom
and Dad brought you home from Vietnam.
403
00:17:43,297 --> 00:17:45,674
I was 3, but I remember
404
00:17:45,674 --> 00:17:48,135
'cause it was like the most exciting
thing that had ever happened to me.
405
00:17:49,094 --> 00:17:50,679
I was totally obsessed with you.
406
00:17:51,388 --> 00:17:52,640
And you couldn't even do anything
407
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,726
but poop and cry and look cute.
408
00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,728
Still great at all those things.
409
00:17:59,271 --> 00:18:01,649
Well, I also remember the day
that Mom and Dad split up.
410
00:18:02,524 --> 00:18:05,903
I was 9, and they told me
I could either stay in our house with Dad,
411
00:18:05,903 --> 00:18:08,822
or move with you and Mom
and her new boyfriend to Iowa.
412
00:18:09,615 --> 00:18:12,284
So, I chose to stay. I mean,
I didn't want Dad to be all alone.
413
00:18:13,410 --> 00:18:15,162
I know.
414
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:16,038
I remember.
415
00:18:17,414 --> 00:18:18,832
I asked about you every day.
416
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,002
"Can I call Ellen? Can we visit Ellen?"
417
00:18:23,128 --> 00:18:26,423
Anyway, I-I could tell it bugged Dad,
asking about you all the time.
418
00:18:26,423 --> 00:18:29,426
I think he thought I was
secretly asking about Mom or...
419
00:18:30,427 --> 00:18:33,180
something, so eventually, I just stopped.
420
00:18:34,014 --> 00:18:35,307
But...
421
00:18:35,683 --> 00:18:38,060
Maybe I should have kept asking...
422
00:18:38,060 --> 00:18:39,311
because...
423
00:18:41,021 --> 00:18:43,274
I'm sorry I missed out
on being your big brother.
424
00:18:43,983 --> 00:18:45,192
Okay?
425
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:47,987
I also really wanted
to be that for you.
426
00:18:50,406 --> 00:18:51,907
Were you really only 9?
427
00:18:52,825 --> 00:18:54,785
In my mind,
428
00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:56,412
you were so big.
429
00:18:57,413 --> 00:18:59,373
You were one of the grown-ups
430
00:18:59,373 --> 00:19:01,750
doing this bad thing to our family.
431
00:19:01,750 --> 00:19:03,752
Ellen, I was 9.
432
00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:06,922
I had a race car bed.
433
00:19:09,258 --> 00:19:10,509
You were 9.
434
00:19:14,930 --> 00:19:17,182
Okay, come with me.
435
00:19:17,182 --> 00:19:18,934
Come on.
436
00:19:20,436 --> 00:19:23,981
Okay, the key to a good
MetroCard swipe is confidence.
437
00:19:23,981 --> 00:19:26,066
You just have to do it fast
and with determination,
438
00:19:26,066 --> 00:19:27,943
like... like ripping off a wax strip.
439
00:19:27,943 --> 00:19:28,777
You wax?
440
00:19:28,777 --> 00:19:32,031
No, but I help Sid get beach ready
every summer. Okay, here we go.
441
00:19:32,031 --> 00:19:34,033
Now remember, swipe confident, okay?
442
00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:35,326
Zing!
443
00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:37,411
Zing!
444
00:19:37,411 --> 00:19:38,871
Okay, one more time.
445
00:19:38,871 --> 00:19:40,873
- Zing!
- You got it, you got it.
446
00:19:40,873 --> 00:19:42,249
Zing!
447
00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:44,043
See? The subway hates me.
448
00:19:44,043 --> 00:19:46,462
Oh, screw it. Let me just show you
how to jump confident.
449
00:19:47,504 --> 00:19:49,298
No, no...
450
00:19:49,298 --> 00:19:51,216
Yes, yes. You can do it.
Come on. Time to go.
451
00:19:51,216 --> 00:19:52,426
Time to move.
452
00:19:52,426 --> 00:19:53,677
- Ah!
- Woo!
453
00:19:53,677 --> 00:19:54,462
I did it! I did it!
454
00:19:54,462 --> 00:19:56,297
- I jumped a turnstile!
- Okay, it's still illegal, though.
455
00:19:56,297 --> 00:19:56,889
We gotta move.
456
00:19:58,599 --> 00:20:00,309
Hey, you know what?
457
00:20:00,309 --> 00:20:02,728
You wanna go again and do the thing
you like with the loofah?
458
00:20:02,728 --> 00:20:04,605
No.
459
00:20:04,605 --> 00:20:07,483
I mean, yes, always. But...
460
00:20:08,776 --> 00:20:11,570
getting old and boring has always
scared the shit out of me.
461
00:20:12,071 --> 00:20:13,822
I mean, Sophie's book nook
462
00:20:13,822 --> 00:20:16,367
literally sent shivers
down my spine, and...
463
00:20:17,243 --> 00:20:20,371
I've always put monogamy in that category.
464
00:20:20,371 --> 00:20:23,916
But, with us, it's...
it's actually kind of...
465
00:20:26,043 --> 00:20:27,086
exciting.
466
00:20:28,796 --> 00:20:30,631
I agree.
467
00:20:30,631 --> 00:20:34,468
We just had sex in the lone unlocked
bathroom of a very crowded party.
468
00:20:39,765 --> 00:20:42,893
So, does this mean that you are
ready to be together together?
469
00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:45,354
You short,
470
00:20:45,354 --> 00:20:47,398
beautiful, maddening woman?
471
00:20:49,942 --> 00:20:51,860
Oh...
472
00:20:51,860 --> 00:20:53,571
fine!
473
00:21:03,998 --> 00:21:06,500
Wow. This view is amazing.
474
00:21:08,002 --> 00:21:09,920
Why didn't you have the party up here?
475
00:21:10,462 --> 00:21:12,715
My neighbor makes her own honey.
476
00:21:14,091 --> 00:21:16,093
Bees are very territorial.
477
00:21:17,386 --> 00:21:19,388
Although, everyone getting stung by bees
478
00:21:19,388 --> 00:21:21,640
probably would have been
less of a disaster.
479
00:21:22,224 --> 00:21:23,684
And that's when I decided
480
00:21:23,684 --> 00:21:25,853
I wanted to start things off with Drew
481
00:21:25,853 --> 00:21:28,063
by being completely honest.
482
00:21:28,897 --> 00:21:30,399
Okay. Truth.
483
00:21:31,358 --> 00:21:34,528
I went out and bought all of those books
this morning to impress you.
484
00:21:34,528 --> 00:21:36,530
Sophie, you didn't need to do that.
485
00:21:36,530 --> 00:21:37,781
I know.
486
00:21:39,283 --> 00:21:42,494
It's just... you're so adult and...
487
00:21:43,412 --> 00:21:45,748
together and readery, and...
488
00:21:46,582 --> 00:21:48,250
it just makes me feel...
489
00:21:49,376 --> 00:21:50,586
kind of messy.
490
00:21:52,046 --> 00:21:53,380
- Can I tell you a secret?
- Drew,
491
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:56,634
please don't do that thing where
you tell me your life's a mess, too.
492
00:21:56,634 --> 00:21:58,385
Oh no, I wasn't going to say that.
493
00:21:58,385 --> 00:22:01,180
I make Overnight Oats.
I'm an extremely together person.
494
00:22:03,140 --> 00:22:05,059
What I was gonna say is that
495
00:22:05,059 --> 00:22:08,520
this whole, like, being
super mature thing, it's, um...
496
00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:10,356
yeah, it's not all it's cracked up to be.
497
00:22:11,023 --> 00:22:13,233
And sometimes, I feel like I missed out.
498
00:22:13,233 --> 00:22:15,945
You know?
Having those ridiculous nights
499
00:22:15,945 --> 00:22:17,947
that you look back on when you're old.
500
00:22:19,448 --> 00:22:22,701
But I think tonight
is one of those nights.
501
00:22:23,452 --> 00:22:26,664
I mean, I got burned, I...
502
00:22:26,664 --> 00:22:28,165
I caught your roommate having shower sex.
503
00:22:29,625 --> 00:22:31,752
Oh, I saw a bunch of people
inexplicably dressed
504
00:22:31,752 --> 00:22:34,171
as Christina Aguilera
from the Dirrty video.
505
00:22:34,171 --> 00:22:36,840
Wait, y... You know Dirrty?
506
00:22:38,676 --> 00:22:41,262
Gonna get my girls,
get your boys
507
00:22:41,262 --> 00:22:43,347
Gonna make some noise
508
00:22:44,139 --> 00:22:46,183
Gonna get rowdy
509
00:22:46,183 --> 00:22:48,602
Gonna get a little unruly
510
00:22:48,602 --> 00:22:51,021
Get fired up in a hurry
511
00:22:51,021 --> 00:22:52,356
Wanna get dirty
512
00:22:52,356 --> 00:22:55,276
It's about time I came
to start the party
513
00:22:56,819 --> 00:22:58,654
My god! Wow, okay.
514
00:22:58,654 --> 00:23:00,990
I really wish I had known
this side of you sooner.
515
00:23:00,990 --> 00:23:02,908
Well, you know,
I usually save my renditions
516
00:23:02,908 --> 00:23:05,619
of TRL's greatest hits for the sixth date.
517
00:23:07,204 --> 00:23:09,039
So, there's going to be a sixth date?
518
00:23:09,039 --> 00:23:10,916
Oh, I hope so.
519
00:23:11,542 --> 00:23:13,168
Me, too.
520
00:23:16,171 --> 00:23:18,674
Son, I learned that night
521
00:23:18,674 --> 00:23:21,093
that 30 really is just a number.
522
00:23:21,093 --> 00:23:23,178
Mom, I never think about turning 30.
523
00:23:23,178 --> 00:23:26,056
- That is, like, so old.
- Watch your mouth.
524
00:23:27,224 --> 00:23:28,767
Oh, wait!
525
00:23:28,767 --> 00:23:32,271
I-I forgot to tell you
how my party ended.
526
00:23:37,026 --> 00:23:38,777
Oh, these are the people we led on
527
00:23:38,777 --> 00:23:40,654
while we were getting
turned on by each other.
528
00:23:40,654 --> 00:23:42,656
They're probably hanging around,
hoping to hook up with us.
529
00:23:42,656 --> 00:23:45,701
God. We're just too damn desirable.
530
00:23:48,495 --> 00:23:50,122
Attention, please.
531
00:23:50,122 --> 00:23:52,541
Uh, you are all very sexy,
532
00:23:52,541 --> 00:23:55,419
but I am afraid I only have eyes
for this one here.
533
00:23:56,253 --> 00:23:58,213
Aw, babe! Right back at you.
534
00:23:58,213 --> 00:23:59,757
Sorry, dudes, no hard feelings.
535
00:24:00,424 --> 00:24:02,217
- So rude.
- The rudest.
536
00:24:02,217 --> 00:24:05,054
Why can't everyone in
a relationship just be honest?
537
00:24:05,054 --> 00:24:07,264
The bartender with the
man-gagement ring.
538
00:24:07,264 --> 00:24:09,391
Love that bartender.
He's so considerate.
539
00:24:09,391 --> 00:24:12,311
If every man were like him,
the world would be a better place.
540
00:24:15,940 --> 00:24:18,317
- Obviously, we can never tell Sid.
- Yeah, we'll take it to the grave.
541
00:24:19,526 --> 00:24:23,237
Ripped and corrected by
- YoungJedi -
39472
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