All language subtitles for assshhterd11

Far, far, far behind all the blue ones
and even a little longer lay a castle -

- which was so brilliantly beautiful
that there was no husband

The castle was of the purest gold,
and when the sun hit the walls ...

- You could even go through the blacks
gleamed a glowing light

Behind the castle lay a magical glacier

Reaching the light from the gold walls
hit the glacier, -

- melted some of the ice
and turned into water

The drops of water were collected
in a vault deep inside the castle

It was the noblest drops
one could imagine

Everything they could cure.
It was the very water of life

The shimmering light in the distance
caused many to go out in search

They wanted to see about the magic
yellow / castle really existed

But nobody ever came
home alive.

For sitting on the throne
a grisly and greedy king

Together with his powerful guard
he looked after his treasures

Nothing should be shared with anyone.
No one else got a drink of the water

No one ever should
come into his castle

You may have heard the name,
but you've never seen it

Soria Moria Castle.

Nils! Watch out!

Who was it
who felled the tree?

That was me.

You got fired and you just can
Forget next month's salary.

Hello. Can't you just
let him get off with a warning?

Will you tell me
how to do my job?

Okay. You have fired all three.

- Me too?
- Yes, and you can thank Espen for that.

Yes

- And then Espen was blamed.
- You did what ...?

- Nils really needed the job.
- We too. And the money.

- What do we do now?
- Good question.

- Espen always gets in trouble.
- He does.

What on earth is this?

!Yuck.

What is it?

Sorry, I just have to ask

Can you tell me the way
to Even Askelund's manor?

- You don't mean Espen Askeladd?
- No, Espen.

No, I mean Esken Askesodd.

Are you absolutely sure
that you don't mean Espen Askeladd?

Yes, it is here.

- "Dear Espen Askeladd."
- Yes it's me.

- Is it you?
- Yes it's me.

- And this is our farm.
- Oh well.

"Dear Espen Askeladd and the brothers.
You were asked for a ball in the castle garden.

Occasion is the 19th birthday
to Princess Kristin. "

Thank you.

They let go of anyone
into the castle these days.

- Is it true?
- No, I found that out for myself.

- We're going to the ball!
- Get off!

Good bye.

- Why are we invited?
- After all, we saved Kristin from the troll.

- It's been a while.
- We are certainly guests of honor.

What should we wear?
We do not have pen clothes.

- Do you think you have to dance?
- How do you greet a king?

We'll arrange the clothes.
The second we find out.

- Lets see. Like that.
- Thanks.

- Hi.
- Hey Mama.

- How pretty you are.
- Thanks.

There are many
important people today.

- I'm not sure to talk to them.
- It's okay.

I wish I could decide for myself
what I do on my birthday.

Yes, but our own needs
comes second, you know.

Yes. Kingdom first.

- Dad, I don't know
- Look at the handsome guys.

- Where did you guys do my sons?
- Stop it.

Come on off.
Don't be late.

- Espen?

- Did you remember the gift?
- Yes.

- Do you think she likes it?
- I hope so.

I was as old as you
when I first met your mother.

It was also at a party,
but it wasn't quite the same.

There are probably many royals there.
We don't fit in.

No, but Espen

- You have to be yourself.
- Mmh.

Have a good time, Dad!

Behave properly!
This is no barn party!

- Who let in those peasants?
- What are they wearing?

I'll take something to eat.

- Count Gustav of Götaland!
- There she is.

Congratulations, my beautiful princess.

I go and say hello.

- Okay.
- The Grand Prince of Flanders!

We need
more plum wine over there.

- Philip the Great of Copenhagen!
- I'm not a servant.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Very nice to see
that someone appreciates the food.

You're welcome.

Shall we dance?

Now?

Per? Where are you? Help!

- Hang up my coat.
- The Mayor of Byzantium!

There you are.
Don't leave me alone here.

For a bunch of Christmas goats.

If I were king, I would keep
proper parties, for this

It should be served
to the king and queen.

- But
- Don't just stand there and hang.

- The Earl of Holland!
- Okay.

Hello.

Who are you again?

- Espen Askeladd.
- Yes.

Eskil Aspeland!

- Espen.
- Hi.

A bit of a party.

I wanted to hunt, but mom and dad
insisted on having a party.

I brought a small gift.

Prince Raul of Catalonia!

- It's not much, though
- Make room!

Princess Kristin.
I am Raul, Prince of Catalonia.

- Do we have to pray for the peasants?
- Kristin invites whoever she wants.

The Duke of Normandy!

My princess. I'm François,
the Duke of Normandy.

The Baron of Bohemia!

- We don't fit in. We're going home.
- All right for me.

- Then it's time for the speech.
- Thanks, Svein.

Pull closer! Pull closer!
His Royal Highness will now speak!

Yes.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's bring out
a bowl for the birthday child.

- Cheers.
- Cheers!

Dear Kristin. You've grown up.

But it seems like it was yesterday
you were cradled in our arms.

I have no idea
where time and years have gone by.

It is strange with time.
But think it should last forever.

But then it slips between your fingers.

Dad! Dad!

- Dad? Mom?
- Oh, oh

- The wine smells nice. You didn't drink?
- No.

- It was he who served the wine!
- No.

Wait a minute now.
No, it wasn't!

He said, "When I become king,
I'll have proper parties. "

I said, "If I became king."

He disguised himself as a servant
to get close to the royals.

- These are my clothes! Let me go!
- Let go of my brother!

The one that is not mine.
I've never seen it before.

- Throw them in the worm yard!
- Roll them in the nail barrel!

- Yes!
- Cut their ears!

It is important to hit hard.
We cannot show weakness now.

- Hang them! Hang them! Hang them!
- Per!

Hang them! Hang them! Hang them!

- Throw them in the dungeon.
- Kristin

- Until I know what happened.
- This is a mistake.

Per, I find out what
that has happened. I need to fix it.

Let me in.
I need to talk to Kristin.

Yes, no doubt.
It is elderberry acid.

A rare one
and deadly plant extract.

There is no antidote.
They will never wake up again.

No!

Their Highness.

I understand that
is hard for you to hear now.

No!

I'm sorry to have to say that,
but now you will become queen.

It's too early.

- I'm not ready.
- Wait!

We can still save them.

Have you heard of Soria Moria?

Gold Palace?
Everyone knows it's just an adventure.

Do not you know
that there is something late in all the adventures?

It is said that Soria Moria
is built around the source of the water of life.

- The water can cure anything.
- For some hesitation.

How do you know that the castle exists?

- I know where it is.
- Do you?

I can show you the way.

It is important that you think about it
what's best for the country.

We know that the Danes are on their way,
and the kingdom is under attack.

So it's very important
that you are here now.

Imagine if something had happened to you.

We have to find that castle.

- You remember the road?
- Yes, yes ...!

No, wait, wait.
We have to turn around.

- Turn around?
- That was totally wrong.

- Look.
- What?

- This is correct.
- What are you doing?

I know someone for sure
maybe know where it is.

- I heard it. Stop.
- No.

- No no no.
- I'll hit you with this one.

Now? How did it go?

- The king and the queen drank the poison.
- It will please the Danish king.

Then we have time to set
our forces in place.

But not the princess.

Now?

She traveled to Soria Moria Castle,
there is certainly an antidote.

Soria Moria?
Isn't it just an old myth?

I do not know.
They seemed pretty safe.

- Interesting.
- The payment?

Yes it is ready.
You certainly deserve it.

- Yes. You're welcome.
- Yes, you have.

And it should then be celebrated
with a little one, damn it.

I have to go back to the castle
before anyone suspects anything.

- No, you just came.
- Now, keep us company a little.

A little drama goes well.

- Are you hungry?
- No, thank you.

Hello.

- So cute you are.
- Hi.

- That's it.
- And it's for you.

Let's toast to this fun
little country you call Norway.

- Cheers, little Norway.
- Cheers.

- Do you know what "aquavit" means?
- No.

It comes from Latin,
and it means "the water of life".

Isn't that ironic?

But shall we find the princess?

We follow her.

If this castle exists
it opens up many new opportunities.

- Who are we going to do?
- That's where I last met her.

She is old and frail,
so she probably lives nearby.

- You don't even know where she lives?
- No. Hello.

You haven't seen a weird old lady?

Do you want us to follow you?

- Where are you going now?
- Come on. The squirrel knows the way.

What have I been up to?

We don't have time for that
to run for squirrels now.

Now we follow a squirrel.
Okay.

We're just ringing.

What are you doing?
It's trying to show us something. Come.

It doesn't try to show us anything.
It's just some nonsense.

Do you see ...?
We found, we found.

- Hey Hey.
- Askeladden?

- Yes it's me.
- Oh, thank goodness.

I was just going to pick up the island,
and then I stuck my nose.

You've really got yourself stuck, you.

One two Three ...!

Thank you, my boy.

- What do we have here?
- This is Princess Kristin.

- Hi.
- Kristin, this is

- Stubborn.
- No, don't call me that.

It reminds me a lot
difficult period in my life.

Okay.
What should I help you with?

We have to find our way
Soria Moria Castle if available.

Are you stupid?!

Only one has returned
from Soria Moria alive.

And if he is still alive,
then he must be old.

- Where is he now?
- On the other side of the Heddalsjuvet.

Heddal gorge?
We never get over there.

Because there is a waterfall
that you can get through.

And no, no! No, oh no.

There you live Fossegrimen,
and he will fool you around.

- But what do we do then?
- No, it does

Wait.
Maybe I have a solution.

- Wait a minute. Don't touch anything.
- No.

I'll try to see
what I can find.

Are you happy? The coffin
contains the north wind, your tufs.

But since you helped me loose,
you must get these.

With one step you go seven miles.
Then you will be almost overjoyed.

- Thank you.
- Thank you very much, stub ... madam.

Yes, yes. One small thing.

A few drops of life's water
can cure what it should be.

But you take a whole sip, -

- then you get awesome powers
for a short while.

Be careful.

Come on off.

Syvmilsstøvler?
What a brilliant invention.

Do you walk seven miles for each step?
Isn't it a bit

dangerous?

Probably just a workout.

- Pardon.
- Did it go well?

- Yes.
- I didn't ask you.

- Come on now.
- Are you sure about that?

All good things come in threes.

Argh!

A ...! Oh!

It goes well

Seven-mile boots, you. Insanity.

- So we have to venture through the gorge.
- It can't possibly be more dangerous.

He comes back.

Espen fixes this.

What if they are not back in time?

You heard what they said.

Red render in the back,
worm yard, cut off our ear.

Heddal gorge.

- We wait here, Your Highness.
- Don't be so superstitious.

And those who have to defend the kingdom?

Look.

There have been some here before,
at least.

See.

It was nice. Steel pot.

Come on.

- There is no waterfall here.
- It must be here somewhere.

Yes, according to a nice old wife
which is best friend with a squirrel.

We continue to search tomorrow.

I can build gap hooks.

- This is the world's worst plan.
- At least we have a plan.

Finding an old man
who may no longer live?

Which will show us the way to a castle
that might not exist?

We find that water. And we find out
who poisoned the wine -

- so Per and Pål escape
when we get home. Right?

Do you think they are guilty?

It's a visit to him handsome.
Those are not my words, though

No no no.

Wait. It's not you.

He is the other.

- Can you move?
- Yes. You have two minutes.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- I made a cake for you.
- Thanks.

I know you're innocent.
I just wanted to see you again.

Excuse me for running away from you
at the party.

- I can be pretty much.
- No, then.

- My name is Pål.
- My name is Solfrid. Hello.

- Is there a special cake?
- Yes, a very special cake.

It may contain some
unusual ingredients?

It has
all the usual ingredients ...

Oh yes,
and some slightly unusual ingredients.

- So chew gently.
- Then the visit time is over.

I'll take it here. Thank you.

- It went very fast.
- No, it didn't.

Goodbye. I hope.

Don't push!

- Use a spoon. Solfrid has baked.
- Take it easy.

We'll get out of here.
If I'm not mistaken, then

There. A comb ...?

- So nice.
- "Fine"?

There must have been something more. Look here.

- It's soap.
- No.

Your boyfriend has smuggled in
a comb and soap.

Should we eat the cake, or not?

Kristin?

Kristin?

Where are you going?

Kristin?

What is going on?

Kristin! Kristin!

Kristin! Stop!

Kristin!

Kristin.

Who are you who can resist the foul play
to Fossegrimen itself?

We're just passing through.

We were just thinking
through the cave behind the falls.

No! I decide
who can come and go here.

- Espen, what's going on?
- Hi. I'll try to fix this.

Tell me, how can you
resist my music?

I who play so beautifully
that even the gods cry.

No, I think so
it sounded pretty mediocre.

- Could you do better?
- Yes, and with one hand on his back.

Big words for a simple person.

Maybe.
What do you say about a competition?

If I play best,
let us pass.

And if I win,
I own their souls forever.

- Just fair, that.
- Espen, he wants to fool us.

Just trust me.

I play first. Afterwards
you have to play it too, but better.

Not too bad for an amateur.

You're a big mouth, strangers.
Are you as big on stage?

A little cheating must be okay. Come.

Here it is dark.

We must feel cautious.
Ouch! Or maybe not.

Are you okay? Give me a fuck.
I have to try something.

Play more, then.

I'm sorry.

If you say your brothers
are innocent, so I trust you.

Thanks.

Come on.
We must find him the old man.

Coming!

Oi I found, I found!

Oi!

- What is it?
- It's really tearing up the nose.

Smelling salts. Doctors use it
to awaken patients who have failed.

Surely nice to have
if it is heavy to get up.

Good day. It is said that you have been
in Soria Moria Castle?

No.

It was grandfather.
He's in there.

Au ...!

- Hi. Are you grandfather?
- Further in.

Hello. Been to Soria Moria?

I?
It should have taken off.

Ouch!

I'm fine.

- Good day, Grandpa.
- You know the way to Soria Moria, huh?

Gamlefar.

- Hi.
- Pardon?

- Been to Soria Moria Castle?
- Soria Moria Castle ...?

- Yes, have you been there?
- Yes.

- My father has
- No, come on, then!

Told about it.
He hangs on the wall over there.

Are you the new ones?
great-great-great-great-great-great

our grandchildren?

- Do you know the way to Soria Moria?
- If I have my forums mom?

Soria Moria!

Oh Soria Moria.

I haven't heard that place
talk about for a very, very long time.

But have you been there?

How else do you think -

- that I had managed to stay
190 and a half years old?

- 190?
- And a half!

That's all the water I drank
while I was there, you see.

Water of life.

Do you still remember the way there?

This morning I put a spoonful of porridge
into my ear.

Because I had forgotten
how to eat.

But if you want to see my diary,

- you will find it for sure
in the closet down there.

"East of the sun. West of the moon."

Look, exactly what we need.
Maps and everything.

remember that

- Without it, we never could
- I'll take it.

Highness, I'm Captain Ohlmann,
and I will take over your little kingdom.

And you have to be Askil Eskedal.
Take them!

No.

- Around the tree and down into the sea.
- I know it well!

Danes
Why did it have to be Dane?

Come inside. Sit down.

Welcome. Just supply yourself.
I can recommend the ham.

- It's heavenly.
- We don't want your food.

Sure? Espil?
A little bit? No?

- Fine. Then there's more to me.
- The kingdom will never be yours.

Your little kingdom is already lost.
It is this one that is interesting now.

We've heard of Soria Moria in Denmark,
but is there in reality?

The treasures, the gold, the water of life?

It's just an old myth.

Maybe. We'll find out soon.

You poisoned my parents.

You are right.

But I couldn't do it alone.
Not without the help of someone at the castle.

Whose?

I have very good news
to you two boys.

Espen and Princess Kristin
is on the trail of Soria Moria.

I knew it!

But they won't come back
to save you.

Boy ...?!
He would never do this to us.

Care must be taken
who you trust these days.

Do not take it personally. I needed
someone who could take the blame.

And who better suited it
than two stupid farmers?

We're not stupid peasants,
and you work for the king.

Yes I do,
and I like the king very well.

I like the royal family.
I've always done that.

But now it is so that we all have
sure which way the wind blows.

And the Danes are coming
to take power sooner or later.

- It's high treason.
- I'm doing it to survive.

- But what about us, then?
- You're not surviving.

You should roll around in the nail barrel.

- Nail barrel?
- I'm trying to be nice, -

- to tell why you have to die.
Now I have done that and go home.

What a cow I've been.

- One what?
- Cattle.

- What does that mean?
- Idiot.

Now. It is very good.

- Naut. I'll write it down.
- Cow. You're a cow

You have so many fun words
in Norwegian. I gather.

What is it
you call a potato?

- Potato.
- Potato. It's good.

- And stirred?
- Egg scrambled eggs

Don't touch. That's my scrambled eggs.
It's fucking funny to me

Scrambled eggs. And trash?

- Trash can.
- Trash can! Did you hear that?

- Where's that weak spirit? And this one?
- Sausage.

It has been seen that way
the same in Danish.

Mogens, Mikkelsen.

- You're going to regret it.
- You're coming with me.

You should sing a song called:
"I'm going to die, I'm going to die."

How about we bring them
high up on the mountain and throwing them out?

Why should we?
We do as she said.

- We cut their throats over them.
- Or hm

- Yes, we tie them to a tree.
- No, we don't.

Grease them in honey,
and then the insects come.

That's a really good idea.
We could also just kill them, huh?

Where are they? Hello? Where are they?

- Where did they go?
- Alarm!

- Crawl the camp!
- Where are they?

- They are here!
- Over there!

- Where did they go?
- This way!

Are they there?

They're not here!

- Are they gone?
- Where are they?

Found

Where are you going?

- It's a fiddle.
- Now, so sweet.

- Play to dance.
- Yeah, play a little tune.

It can shine.
That's nice. What are you doing?

What happens to the body?

- I'm dancing. What's up?
- I do not know!

I do not like it!
Leave it there!

Dance after them!

Continue.

No! They're getting away!

No!

What the hell is going on?

- They got away.
- How is it possible?

- We got a big urge to dance.
- To dance?

You got the urge to dance.

Now we take a small one
and look in the book and see where we are going.

Help! You have to help me!
Pål has put a piece of cake in his throat!

- He'll be executed anyway.
- Yeah, good points.

People pay good money
for just that.

And then they look forward to doing
something nice with the family.

- The family?
- Don't take it from them.

No, when you say it that way,
then it is a pity to disappoint the children.

- Yes, it is.
- That's it.

You stand in the corner there.

I don't fall for the old trick
with beating the guard in mind.

I have worn it before.

Look at me.

- Hi.
- Hey Hey.

Returned!

Alarm! Alarm!

Alarm!

The prisoners have escaped!
They ran that way!

Hey Hey.

The prisoners have

- Escaped?
- The prisoners have escaped.

Thank you, Cato.

As a punishment I will now speed up
your execution,

- so it will happen tomorrow.

That's how it is. Close the gate.

It'll be nail barrel tomorrow, then.
It went well.

Then at least the children will be happy.

- We're going out to one of those islands.
- Which one?

I do not know.
I didn't get that far in the book.

Good day. Is this your boat?

Yes, it's mine.

- Can you take us out?
- Where?

We're not quite sure.
We're going out to one of the islands.

Thanks.

There was something in the book
about the sun and moon.

That island is almost like a moon.

And it can be reminiscent of a sun.

To the east of the sun,
west moon.

Pardon? What lies here?

- Nobody knows.
- Can you take us out there?

Never. Because no one ever has
come alive from there.

- What do you say to a barter?
- It depends on what you offer.

A man with your exquisite taste
would fall for this rare bird.

Rare bird? It's a cut, after all.

Yes, but I have
something more valuable here.

There.

The boat is yours.

There are certain benefits
with being a princess.

- Yes, it is.
- Come on.

- We can't find the way in this fog.
- It's okay.

Soon it will be sunny
and nice weather again.

How do you get it?
Being so positive all the time?

That's what I have.
I'm just like that.

Would you like to visit
more often, I don't mind.

- Do you think so?
- Yes.

I don't think your father
want to see me there.

When did I ever listen to him?

Do you see anything?

- Draugen!
- Get him away!

He can't stand steel!

Thank you. Is it gone?

It went pretty well, then.

Kristin! Kristin!

Kristin!

Kristin!

Kristin!

Yes, but. Now we have to stop
to meet in this way.

Espen!

Oh, how sweet you are. For Satan,
now we take a small one, huh?

I found your belt.

Thanks.

How are you saying in Norwegian?
Kippis?

- It's Finnish.
- Whatever. Kippis!

Kippis!

Come on!

Oh, the elevator!

Comrades! Little Norway
is not big enough for me anymore.

With such powers
can we take over the whole world!

Imagine a Danish kingdom -

- extending from Copenhagen
to Constantinople, and i

I must be queen.

What's up?

- I heard something.
- I'm hungry.

You're always hungry.

- What kind of trouble is that?
- Is anyone here? I can not see.

None of us can see.
After all, we've lost our eye.

I smell people.

Delicious, crazy, crunchy people.

Hey, troll!

- Oh, I'm so scared.
- Who are you?

- I am the strongest person in the world.
- Oh no, the world's strongest?

- I like strong food.
- I eat trolls for breakfast.

It's cold!

- The superpowers last only briefly.
- What?

The superpowers don't last long.

Now we take a small one
a little one

- Oh, for Satan. Now it comes.
- Hush.

- Do you think people are gone?
- There were several of them.

- Protect the treasures.
- The water is more important.

We must do something.

If we had our eye
we could see them and eat them.

Can you be quiet?

- Watch out for the water.
- I'm just so hungry.

- Hungry, hungry, hungry.
- Hush!

- Does the king know how good we were?
- Does he give us our eye back then?

Yes, he must. Surely.

- Did you hear anything?
- Watch out for the water. Take care of the treasures.

- Who are you?
- There are two. I can smell them.

- Don't let them steal the treasures.
- We're not here to steal anything.

- What else are you doing here?
- We ask for some of life's water.

- To save my parents.
- They must steal!

Please.

No! If we do not guard the water
we will never get our eye back!

Let's eat them,
then we will at least be satisfied.

Wait. I have something for you.

It smells familiar.

- Is that food?
- Give it to us.

Here. It belongs to you.

Is it possible?

- Is that really our eye?
- Is it ...?

- We can see again!
- Is it true?

The king, the man with the crown,
he is dead.

The castle, the gold, the treasures are theirs.

We only wish
a bit of life's water.

You'll get that.

He smells heavenly.

- Shouldn't we be eating them too?
- No.

- Thank you.
- Go now, before I change my mind.

- Pål!
- Hi. Goodbye.

- Guys. Release them! Wait!
- Dad!

Let go of my guys!

Per! Release them!

Roll them! Roll them! Roll them!

- Roll them! Roll them! Roll them!
- No.

Roll them! Roll them! Roll them!

No no no!

Juhu!

- Did you hear anything?
- No.

Not now again! Dung Nose.

So much fun to see so many kids
and families here today.

Now we shall have again
some painful entertainment.

We just have to hope that the two farmers
suffers a long and painful death -

- so we get it really nice.

I'm afraid, Per.

Just close your eyes.
It's going to go fast.

- And we roll the barrel!
- No! Per!

Espen!

Per and Pål are innocent!

That's the advisor
who is behind all this!

No it's not.

- Arrest that boy!
- No!

No!

What was your plan?
That he should just admit everything?

Yes

I think we're dropping the drum solo
this time.

And roll barrels!

Roll them! Roll them! Roll them!

Stop!

Release those brothers now!

Dad!

Your Majesty, as good as you look.

That which is like

That's a bit

Au, au, au!

Dear people, thank you very much.

- Here. Happy Birthday.
- Thank you.

It's not big, though
I inherited it after mom.

- It is perfect.
- Do you think?

Yes. Thanks.

Aspen is my boyfriend.

If you have a problem with it,
I renounce the throne right here and now.

Espen Askeladd!

Once again you have proven
how important you are to the kingdom.

And if Kristin wants you,
then it is just fine for me.

- Right?
- Of course.

It's just a youth crush.
Such goes over. They do.

- That's going to last.
- Cato, no one has asked you.

- No.
- In place.

- On with the heat.
- Yes.

Hurray! Live the princess!

Hurray! It's so touching!

- Look what I found.
- It's just rubbish.

Somewhere the border has to go.
No, it was fine.

But it will be wrong
if you also pick things up.

- Are you afraid I'll be the best?
- I know you're getting better than me.

- But finding things is my thing.
- I found you, then.

Do you think it's safe to go out now?

Everything you see here now,
Mikkelsen, it's ours!

We are the richest in the world!

We are the richest

Finally there is food!

Translation: Tron Pine
Scandinavian Text Service 2019