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[ Static ]
[ Static ] [ Static ]
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♪ My dreams are all dead
and buried ♪ ♪ My dreams are all dead
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♪ Sometimes I wish the sun
would just explode ♪ ♪ Sometimes I wish the sun
4
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:24,108
♪ When God comes
and calls me to His kingdom ♪ ♪ When God comes
5
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♪ I'll take all
you sons of bitches when I go ♪ ♪ I'll take all
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00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:29,740
♪ Oh, let her blow ♪
My turn.
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Hell no.
Hey, man, let me drive
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00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:35,446
that thing, come on!
Do not touch the trim! that thing, come on!
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♪♪
♪♪
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Homemade surf 'n' slosh.
Homemade surf 'n' slosh.
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00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:43,496
Just as good as store-bought,
at a fraction of the price.
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I life-hacked this bitch!
I life-hacked this bitch!
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00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:47,008
All you did was take
the tarp off the roof.
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And is that
our shower curtain? And is that
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00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:49,339
Listen to him bellyache
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00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:50,474
about a shower curtain,
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00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:52,340
and we ain't even
got a shower. and we ain't even
18
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,597
Now hold my beer.
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00:00:54,679 --> 00:00:56,639
Oh!
This is paint thinner. Oh!
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"Hold my beer"
is a fun thing to say
21
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,978
before you do something
exciting and badass, before you do something
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00:01:01,060 --> 00:01:02,190
but also very safe
23
00:01:02,270 --> 00:01:04,730
and definitely won't end
in tragedy. and definitely won't end
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00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:07,074
Hell yeah, baby!
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Oof!
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00:01:08,026 --> 00:01:09,026
Oh! Oh, God!
27
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:09,990
The rocks! Aah!
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There are so much!
Oh, God!
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I should've picked them out!
I should've picked them out!
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Oof!
But I'm too lazy!
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Oh, God!
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No!
No!
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Oh, God! Oh!
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Oh, it burns!
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Oh.
Oh.
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Whoo-hoo-hoo-wee!
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Hell yeah!
It worked! Hell yeah!
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Go on, do it, Granny!
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Oh, well,
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I was gonna decline...
I was gonna decline...
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Tell them to hold your beer
and do it!
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Okay.
Okay.
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Hold my beer.
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I don't have a beer,
but would you
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hold my teeth, dear?
hold my teeth, dear?
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I don't wanna
lose them.
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Ah, suck on this,
you pussy-y-y-y-y! Ah, suck on this,
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[ Screeching ]
Oh, my God! [ Screeching ]
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00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:45,895
-Giant owl!
-Aaaaaaah!
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It's got Granny!
Shoot it down!
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You shoot it!
I've got to hide! You shoot it!
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-Aah!
-Aah!
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[ Gunshots ]
Granny! [ Gunshots ]
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[ Gunshots ]
Aah!
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♪♪
♪♪
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[ Organ plays ]
Granny and I,
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00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,374
we had our differences
we had our differences
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00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,083
and I may have fantasized
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00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:05,383
about her getting snatched up
by a giant owl, about her getting snatched up
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00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:08,128
but I never really
wanted that to happen. but I never really
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00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,421
Eugh!
Green been casserole.
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00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,335
Don't you work
at the hot wing place? Don't you work
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00:02:12,423 --> 00:02:14,763
That's the only reason why
I invited your ass.
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00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,143
Just give it back to me.
Just give it back to me.
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That owl took
the wrong squid.
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00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,603
Oh, don't be like that!
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00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,561
Just set it over
on the "Maybe" table, Just set it over
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00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:24,101
as in, maybe I'll
get a dog someday. as in, maybe I'll
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00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:25,765
An owl attack
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in the middle
of the daytime, huh?
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00:02:27,647 --> 00:02:29,607
I know.
It's terrifying. I know.
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00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,241
Day owls. I never heard
of anything like it. Day owls. I never heard
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00:02:32,318 --> 00:02:33,568
'Cause it didn't happen.
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00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:35,533
I'll bet he chopped her
into little pieces
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00:02:35,613 --> 00:02:37,243
and scattered her all
over the back 40. and scattered her all
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00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:39,243
Denny!
Now's not the time.
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00:02:39,325 --> 00:02:40,785
Rusty saw it happen.
Rusty saw it happen.
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00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:42,579
Their stories
all match up.
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00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:45,082
Then I said, "Take me,
you winged devil!" Then I said, "Take me,
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00:02:45,164 --> 00:02:46,464
For the most part.
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00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,001
And I jumped up
and put the beast And I jumped up
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00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:49,884
in a airborne
figure-4 headlock,
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00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,841
but she shook me off,
'cause they got them
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00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,761
twisty necks,
like a Lazy Susan. twisty necks,
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00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:54,920
Well, yeah, you know.
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00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,048
I know you did
what you could. I know you did
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00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:56,934
-[ Coughing ]
-I got to --
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00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:58,010
I got to get, now.
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00:02:58,094 --> 00:02:59,724
Then, the bird
carried her off.
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00:02:59,804 --> 00:03:01,394
[ Crying ]
I'll never forget [ Crying ]
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00:03:01,472 --> 00:03:02,932
her final words --
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00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:05,476
"Make sure you have
a fix-your-own-fajita bar "Make sure you have
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00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:07,190
at my serviiiice!"
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00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:09,440
Right, so we'll --
we'll see you in church? Right, so we'll --
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00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:11,482
Well, Granny made us go
to that, you know?
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00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,896
So, don't freak out if our
attendance drops off a bit. So, don't freak out if our
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00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,525
-Of course.
-But maybe next week,
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00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,362
bring some more
of that seven-layer dip. bring some more
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00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,197
That stuff was a hit with me.
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00:03:19,282 --> 00:03:21,582
Well, this isn't really
a weekly thing, Early. Well, this isn't really
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00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,119
It's kind of
a one-shot deal.
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00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:25,502
[ Crying ] So, you think grief
just goes away, huh? [ Crying ] So, you think grief
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00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:26,920
[ Sniffle ]
Like my granny there,
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when she was snatched up
by a giant owl. when she was snatched up
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00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:31,793
I guess I need
some sort of grief owl
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00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:34,548
to swoop down
and steal my sadness away. to swoop down
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00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,511
[ Sobs ]
Now get out of here! [ Sobs ]
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I need to be alone!
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00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,929
[ Sobbing ]
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This poor baby.
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Look at him, shivering.
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00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:44,965
He's scared to death he's
gon' get snatched up. He's scared to death he's
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Oh, now, boy.
You know your daddy
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00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:48,388
ain't gonna let
no big-ass owl get you. ain't gonna let
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00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,768
You see me work a Tae Bo
stick, ain't you?
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00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:51,805
Waa-hoo! Ha!
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00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,818
-[ Gasp ]
-Oh, sorry, buddy. -[ Gasp ]
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00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,490
But, in a way,
you're very lucky,
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00:03:55,568 --> 00:03:57,148
'cause if this was a real
Tae Bo stick, 'cause if this was a real
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you'd be dead right now.
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[ Echoing ]
Well, looky here. [ Echoing ]
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Seems the giant owl
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00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:04,116
left Granny's skull
in this burn barrel. left Granny's skull
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00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:05,872
-Denny!
-This is a crime scene.
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00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:06,874
Tape it off.
-No, no, no.
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00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:08,155
That's a raccoon skull.
That's a raccoon skull.
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00:04:08,247 --> 00:04:09,957
I'mma make that
into a gearshifter.
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00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:12,791
Well, we'll see if the boys
at the GBI agree with you, Well, we'll see if the boys
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00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:15,167
'cause I think your owl
story's a bunch of hooey.
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00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:17,344
[ Chuckle ]
I hear that. [ Chuckle ]
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00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:19,013
Glenn, are you
out of your mind?
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00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,722
There's a giant owl
on the loose. There's a giant owl
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00:04:20,802 --> 00:04:22,512
Yeah, I'm not living
in fear.
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00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,675
Good luck, sheeple.
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00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:25,523
If there is
a giant owl up there, If there is
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00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,348
he don't want a taste
of the G-Dog,
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00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,393
[ Wings flapping ]
I promise you. [ Wings flapping ]
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00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,846
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
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00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:30,846
[ Owl screeching ]
Oh, my God!
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00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,307
Aah!
[ Gasping ] Aah!
141
00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,517
Mommy!
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[ Coos ]
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00:04:34,983 --> 00:04:36,363
Shush. Shh!
Shush. Shh!
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00:04:36,442 --> 00:04:38,742
[ Gasp ]
145
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:40,240
[ Coos ]
[ Coos ]
146
00:04:40,321 --> 00:04:41,361
Oh!
147
00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:42,367
[ Coos ]
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00:04:42,448 --> 00:04:44,528
Oh, oh,
he's looking at me! Oh, oh,
149
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:48,327
Denny, don't...move.
Denny, don't...move.
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00:04:48,413 --> 00:04:49,373
[ Hyperventilating ]
151
00:04:49,455 --> 00:04:51,205
Me not stay here!
Aah!
152
00:04:51,290 --> 00:04:52,920
Denny, no!
You can't outrun him! Denny, no!
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00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,841
-[ Screeching ]
-Aah! Aah!
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00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:56,840
Aaaaah!
Aaaaah!
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00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:59,221
Ahhh-ooohh-woo!
156
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:01,088
[ Gong crashes ]
[ Gong crashes ]
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00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:02,755
♪♪
158
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,224
Oh, my God, he's got me!
Oh, my God, he's got me!
159
00:05:04,303 --> 00:05:05,893
He's got my head!
-Rusty!
160
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,142
No!
Hell no!
161
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,183
Daddy! Daddy!
Daddy! Daddy!
162
00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:11,057
Put him down,
you dumb jerk!
163
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:12,604
[ Grunting ]
[ Grunting ]
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00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:18,027
[ Gunshots ]
[ Gunshots ]
165
00:05:18,109 --> 00:05:19,069
[ Gasping ]
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00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,742
Did I -- Did I get him?
Did I -- Did I get him?
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00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:21,990
[ Air hissing ]
168
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:25,411
[ Crying ] Oh, no!
My boy! [ Crying ] Oh, no!
169
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:27,951
Looks like we have
to do this again next week.
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00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:31,246
No veggies, this time.
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00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:33,670
Unless you count mac & cheese.
Unless you count mac & cheese.
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00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,540
The real cheese,
not the powdered! The real cheese,
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♪♪
♪♪
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00:05:37,628 --> 00:05:38,918
Mr. Halen,
we're gonna need
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00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:42,005
trackers, sharpshooters,
and wildlife experts. trackers, sharpshooters,
176
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,681
I know you don't like
the feds coming
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00:05:43,760 --> 00:05:45,260
down here, but,
that might be down here, but,
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00:05:45,344 --> 00:05:47,394
the only way you --
-Hold on. Stop, stop.
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00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:51,232
Has the owl attacked any
humans that we know of? Has the owl attacked any
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00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:52,439
Well, no.
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00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:53,938
Just Granny and Rusty,
so far, Just Granny and Rusty,
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00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:56,520
but, you know --
-So, squids, exclusively.
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00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,396
Seems to me this owl craves
Seems to me this owl craves
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00:05:58,483 --> 00:06:00,573
a chewy treat
with a gushy middle,
185
00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:03,201
and the Cuyler clan seems
to fit that bill. and the Cuyler clan seems
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00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,529
Frankly, I-I don't see
the downside. Frankly, I-I don't see
187
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,405
But -- But when the squids
are gone, you know,
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00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:09,953
they might come
after the humans. they might come
189
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:13,366
No. Apple-picking season
will proceed as planned. No. Apple-picking season
190
00:06:13,456 --> 00:06:16,626
And can we stop reporting
the owl attacks, please?
191
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:20,959
If we don't count them,
there won't be any. If we don't count them,
192
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,797
[ Radio chatter ]
[ Engine idling ]
193
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:24,262
[ Keys jingling ]
Here we are, Denny.
194
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:26,012
You stay frosty out there.
You stay frosty out there.
195
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:27,514
Keep your head
on a swivel, son.
196
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,305
The swivel only goes
side-to-side. The swivel only goes
197
00:06:29,388 --> 00:06:30,468
I mean, the owl,
198
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:31,766
she's right above us.
-Goddamn it!
199
00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:32,769
You know what I mean.
You know what I mean.
200
00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:34,060
It's weapons hot out there
201
00:06:34,143 --> 00:06:35,693
and, if you wait
'til that owl swoops,
202
00:06:35,770 --> 00:06:37,270
it'll be too damn late.
it'll be too damn late.
203
00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:40,975
So just fire it
up in the air everywhere? So just fire it
204
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:41,937
That's right.
205
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:42,986
Remember your training --
206
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,779
officers always shoot first
officers always shoot first
207
00:06:44,862 --> 00:06:46,282
and empty your clip.
208
00:06:46,364 --> 00:06:49,874
We can always plant a gun
in the owl's beak later. We can always plant a gun
209
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:51,161
Now, Denny,
210
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:52,454
hold my beer, buddy.
211
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:54,157
[ Tearfully ]
You hold my beer. [ Tearfully ]
212
00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,787
Alright, now,
on the count of three -- Alright, now,
213
00:06:56,874 --> 00:06:58,174
1, 2 --
214
00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,341
[ Gunshots ]
-Aah! -Denny, wait!
215
00:06:59,418 --> 00:07:00,838
[ Gunfire ]
Both: Aah! [ Gunfire ]
216
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,170
Aaaaaaah!
217
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,295
-Aaaaah!
-Out of ammo!
218
00:07:03,381 --> 00:07:04,591
Got to reload!
-Aaah!
219
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:06,804
-Reload! Reload! Reload!
-Aaaaah! -Reload! Reload! Reload!
220
00:07:06,884 --> 00:07:08,644
[ Gunfire ]
Both: Aaaah!
221
00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:09,509
Aaaaah!
Aaaaah!
222
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:11,555
Aaaaah!
223
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:13,389
-Hey, you left early.
-You said on three! -Hey, you left early.
224
00:07:13,474 --> 00:07:15,484
-It's "1, 2, 3, go."
-You said
225
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,560
on three!
-There's a "go" aspect to it. on three!
226
00:07:17,645 --> 00:07:19,435
[ Slurp ]
227
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:20,402
May I help you?
228
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,441
No, but I can help you.
No, but I can help you.
229
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:24,685
I hear you're having
a little owl problem.
230
00:07:24,777 --> 00:07:26,697
Yes, ma'am,
but it ain't little.
231
00:07:26,779 --> 00:07:30,529
More like a flying minivan that
eats people and never sleeps. More like a flying minivan that
232
00:07:30,616 --> 00:07:32,076
Not people, just squid.
233
00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,450
People are safe,
from what I understand. People are safe,
234
00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:36,367
Sounds like Ol' Hootie.
235
00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:38,285
I've been tracking her
for years. I've been tracking her
236
00:07:38,374 --> 00:07:39,884
Dr. Anastasia Evertree.
237
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:41,419
Yeah, thank you, doctor,
but the men Yeah, thank you, doctor,
238
00:07:41,502 --> 00:07:42,882
can take it from here, okay?
239
00:07:42,962 --> 00:07:45,592
"The men"? Ha!
Aren't you cute. "The men"? Ha!
240
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:48,553
Bet you look like a popcorn
shrimp to Ol' Hootie.
241
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:49,934
Unh-unh!
I will not have you Unh-unh!
242
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,551
talk to me that way
in this office!
243
00:07:51,637 --> 00:07:53,887
Well, then, I'll talk to you
that way on the hunting ground. Well, then, I'll talk to you
244
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:55,103
Take me there.
245
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:57,193
And try not to look
so scrumptious, And try not to look
246
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:58,228
Popcorn.
247
00:07:58,311 --> 00:07:59,441
Pop, pop, pop!
-Aah!
248
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:00,520
[ Laughs ]
249
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:01,605
I'm taking the tank.
I'm taking the tank.
250
00:08:01,689 --> 00:08:03,269
She's just being sassy.
251
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:05,567
Shaking up this boy's club.
Shaking up this boy's club.
252
00:08:05,651 --> 00:08:06,901
What are you doing, mister?
253
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,906
I'm taking the tank!
I'm taking the tank!
254
00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:11,908
♪♪
255
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,241
[ Blast,
missiles whistling ] [ Blast,
256
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,076
Aah! Whah!
257
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,581
Aah!
Aah!
258
00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:18,583
Phew!
259
00:08:18,664 --> 00:08:19,424
[ Pounding on door ]
260
00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:21,078
Early, are you in there?
Early, are you in there?
261
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:24,247
Go away! You'll lead that
damn bird right to me.
262
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:25,627
I've got good news.
I've got good news.
263
00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,843
I'm here
with a ornithologist.
264
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:31,514
That means it's a bird
expert, from UGA. That means it's a bird
265
00:08:31,594 --> 00:08:32,684
UGA?
266
00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:34,852
Georgia Bulldogs
between the hedges,
267
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:38,101
Herschel Walker football,
go dogs, sic 'em? Herschel Walker football,
268
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,274
[ Slurping ]
-Early, you look like hell.
269
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,773
I'm so hungry,
I've been eating I'm so hungry,
270
00:08:41,854 --> 00:08:42,864
from the "Maybe" table.
271
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:44,609
Mmm, ambrosia.
272
00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:45,610
Uh, you mind if I --
Uh, you mind if I --
273
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,151
No!
I'm still grieving here.
274
00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:51,026
Ol' Hootie ain't as picky
about what she eats. Ol' Hootie ain't as picky
275
00:08:51,113 --> 00:08:52,953
Usually just
swallows things whole Usually just
276
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,702
and craps out the bones.
277
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:57,504
How dare you sully the memory
of my son and my granny How dare you sully the memory
278
00:08:57,578 --> 00:09:00,248
by dumping them as poop balls
in my living room!
279
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,631
I don't want to remember
them this way! I don't want to remember
280
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:03,788
Look closer.
281
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,536
I'm not seeing
any squid remains, I'm not seeing
282
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:08,258
which means your family
could still be alive.
283
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:11,379
But the only way we'll know
for sure is to track this owl But the only way we'll know
284
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:14,097
and, to draw the owl in,
we're gonna need some bait. and, to draw the owl in,
285
00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:16,258
And they don't want humans.
They want squids.
286
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:17,677
The humans are safe.
The humans are safe.
287
00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:19,925
That-That's what
we've seen, so far.
288
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:21,887
That's right.
We need a squid. That's right.
289
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:23,348
Can you help us, Early?
290
00:09:23,437 --> 00:09:26,477
[ Sigh ] Alright,
if it's a squid you need, [ Sigh ] Alright,
291
00:09:26,565 --> 00:09:28,775
I guess I know
what I have to do. I guess I know
292
00:09:28,859 --> 00:09:30,989
Lil!
Hey, girl!
293
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,110
It's been so long!
294
00:09:32,196 --> 00:09:33,156
Give us a hug!
Give us a hug!
295
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:34,659
No!
I moved in with Emmett
296
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:35,660
to get away from all y'all
297
00:09:35,741 --> 00:09:36,991
and my addiction triggers.
and my addiction triggers.
298
00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:39,536
Hey, I see Emmett's
taking good care of you.
299
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,330
Sobriety suits you well.
Sobriety suits you well.
300
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,334
She's not fucked up.
This gon' be tricky.
301
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,576
You know what?
I sure have missed you. You know what?
302
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:47,878
Let's reminisce,
with you outside,
303
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,342
exposed to the sky
and chained to this chain. exposed to the sky
304
00:09:50,423 --> 00:09:51,593
I got some of that giggle juice.
305
00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:53,634
Stop grabbing at me!
Stop grabbing at me!
306
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:54,798
Where's Granny and Rusty?
307
00:09:54,885 --> 00:09:56,135
Snatched up by an owl.
308
00:09:56,220 --> 00:09:57,930
I said don't mention
the killer owl, dumbass! I said don't mention
309
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,434
Emmett: Lilith,
is everything alright?
310
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:02,056
Just a salesman, honey.
Just a salesman, honey.
311
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,733
But I ain't buying.
312
00:10:03,811 --> 00:10:04,851
[ Owl screeching ]
[ Owl screeching ]
313
00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:06,557
Uh, ask her
if we can come inside.
314
00:10:06,647 --> 00:10:08,187
Let us in the goddamn house!
315
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,784
Get the bait
and let's go! Get the bait
316
00:10:09,859 --> 00:10:11,109
Aha!
So I'm bait?
317
00:10:11,193 --> 00:10:12,403
Just let us inside!
318
00:10:12,486 --> 00:10:13,896
-Stop! Stop!
-Open the garage, at least! -Stop! Stop!
319
00:10:13,988 --> 00:10:15,408
We're exposed out here!
320
00:10:15,489 --> 00:10:16,739
[ Screeching ]
[ Gunshots ]
321
00:10:16,824 --> 00:10:18,664
Well, maybe if you
suck in real hard,
322
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,543
you can squeeze
inside the mailbox.
323
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,290
[ Laughs ]
-You bitch! I'm gonna come back here
324
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:25,122
and burn your
goddamn house down! and burn your
325
00:10:25,207 --> 00:10:26,957
[ Pounding on door ]
Emmett! That bitch is an addict!
326
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,543
She'll take you
for all you've got!
327
00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:29,837
[ Screeching ]
Both: Aah! [ Screeching ]
328
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:33,920
[ Gunshots ]
[ Gunshots ]
329
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,473
[ Wings flapping ]
330
00:10:38,554 --> 00:10:40,104
[ Scoff ]
This is pathetic.
331
00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:42,061
You need to man up, son.
You need to man up, son.
332
00:10:42,141 --> 00:10:43,391
Hoot hoot, little bitch!
333
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,266
Aah!
334
00:10:44,352 --> 00:10:45,852
Early, he's right.
Early, he's right.
335
00:10:45,936 --> 00:10:48,936
Look, we've talked to every
squid in my Rolodex. Look, we've talked to every
336
00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,363
I guess the only thing
left to do is
337
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,282
let me build a dome
over the county? let me build a dome
338
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,611
Or,we could live
beneath the soil,
339
00:10:55,696 --> 00:10:58,196
as a race of mole people.
as a race of mole people.
340
00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,582
[ Crying ]
Why are we doing this?!
341
00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:01,368
-Don't fidget.
-The dome would've brought -Don't fidget.
342
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:02,912
good jobs to this region!
343
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,825
So would the mole tunnels!
So would the mole tunnels!
344
00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:06,924
[ Echoing ]
Mole tunnels!Mole tunnels!
345
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:08,249
[ Screeching ]
346
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:10,884
♪♪
♪♪
347
00:11:12,755 --> 00:11:14,415
[ Fabric rubbing ]
348
00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:19,427
♪♪
♪♪
349
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,102
It is too damn hot
for corduroys! It is too damn hot
350
00:11:22,181 --> 00:11:23,431
Anastasia:
Continue to strut.
351
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,556
Keep rubbing
them thighs together. Keep rubbing
352
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,273
The noise will attract
the owl.
353
00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,943
And put the mouse necklace
back on. And put the mouse necklace
354
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:31,732
[ Laughs ]
It tickles.
355
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:32,936
It keeps crawling off!
It keeps crawling off!
356
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,275
He ain't gonna last
much longer.
357
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,491
We just need to get her
close enough We just need to get her
358
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,030
to hit her
with a tracking dart.
359
00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:40,494
And we can follow her
in the chopper after that. And we can follow her
360
00:11:40,574 --> 00:11:42,584
Are you certified
to fly that thing?
361
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:43,950
I've watched a video.
362
00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:47,116
I need to take a bio break.
Can I take five? I need to take a bio break.
363
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:48,956
My neck
is killing me, here. My neck
364
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,041
Okay, fine, but make it quick.
365
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,046
[ Leaves rustling ]
[ Leaves rustling ]
366
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,129
[ Pulley zipping ]
367
00:11:54,213 --> 00:11:55,713
[ Belt buckle clinking ]
368
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:56,918
Can I get your phone
and play Can I get your phone
369
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:58,177
that candy gem game --
370
00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,089
"Bejazzled"? "Bejimboed"?
371
00:12:00,177 --> 00:12:01,427
Denny, give him your phone.
372
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,472
Why my phone?
373
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,635
He's in the bathroom.
374
00:12:03,722 --> 00:12:05,852
'Cause you got
the ad-free version. 'Cause you got
375
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:07,143
[ Echoing ]
That's right. I can't go
376
00:12:07,226 --> 00:12:08,226
if I'm playing
"Bejimbo Light." if I'm playing
377
00:12:08,310 --> 00:12:09,440
♪♪
Alright. Don't grab it
378
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,690
with the hand
you wipe with.
379
00:12:10,771 --> 00:12:12,981
I don't have a set
wiping hand, per se. I don't have a set
380
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,395
It's more of a rotation.
381
00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:16,743
[ Splash ]
Aah! I dropped it! [ Splash ]
382
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,199
Oh, dang it!
Come on, now!
383
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:20,820
Oh, no!
Denny, look out! Oh, no!
384
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:21,866
-[ Screeching ]
-Aah!
385
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:23,159
Dammit!
386
00:12:23,242 --> 00:12:24,242
Denny & Early:
Aah! Denny & Early:
387
00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:25,656
Come on, come on,
come on!
388
00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,794
All:
Aaaah!
389
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:28,912
[ Fires ]
Aah! [ Fires ]
390
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:30,168
Denny:
Aaaaah!
391
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,959
Aaaaaaah!
392
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:34,422
Oof!
Get in the chopper! Oof!
393
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:36,843
-Aah!
-Get out of the chopper! -Aah!
394
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,262
[ Explosion ]
395
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:39,470
[ Flames crackling ]
396
00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:40,470
To the car!
To the car!
397
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,391
I drive that way better!
398
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,640
[ Siren wailing ]
[ Owl screeching ] [ Siren wailing ]
399
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:47,932
♪♪
400
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:48,887
Both:
[ Gasp ] Both:
401
00:12:48,976 --> 00:12:50,096
Aah!
402
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:50,976
Move, move!
403
00:12:51,061 --> 00:12:52,521
Police coming through!
Police coming through!
404
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,765
That's right,
grab an apple.
405
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:57,857
There's nothing to fear
because the giant owl, There's nothing to fear
406
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,363
[ Screeching ]
that's just a liberal --
407
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:01,355
Holy shit!
Holy shit!
408
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:04,027
-Sorry!
-No, not the corn maze!
409
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,536
Now, any rural idiot
can solve it. Now, any rural idiot
410
00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:07,699
[ Siren wailing ]
[ Fires ]
411
00:13:07,786 --> 00:13:10,326
[ Screech ]
Dammit! She's so fast! [ Screech ]
412
00:13:10,414 --> 00:13:11,924
She's headed
out over the lake.
413
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:16,549
That fire-eyed, swivel-headed
son of a biscuit eater. That fire-eyed, swivel-headed
414
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,129
-Whoa!
-Hang on!
415
00:13:19,215 --> 00:13:20,085
[ Fires ]
416
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:21,934
-Aah!
-She's too far!
417
00:13:22,009 --> 00:13:24,599
-[ Screeching ]
-Help! Help me! -[ Screeching ]
418
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,388
[ Asphyxiating ]
419
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,272
[ Screeching ]
[ Screeching ]
420
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:29,559
Look, she's stuck.
421
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:30,602
[ Tires screech ]
422
00:13:30,684 --> 00:13:32,984
Take the shot!
Take the shot!
423
00:13:33,062 --> 00:13:33,982
Take the shot!
424
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,153
Take the shot!
425
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,532
Ah!
426
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:41,028
Ow! Aaaaah!
Ow! Aaaaah!
427
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:42,241
-Help me!
-Son of a bitch!
428
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:43,111
We lost her!
429
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:45,027
Maybe not.
Look at this. Maybe not.
430
00:13:45,115 --> 00:13:46,075
[ Beeping ]
These are all
431
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,078
Early's DUI bracelets.
432
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,580
I track him so I can
bust him for another DUI. I track him so I can
433
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,464
He's wearing
13 DUI bracelets? He's wearing
434
00:13:54,542 --> 00:13:56,792
Yeah, that's how many
DUIs he's got. Yeah, that's how many
435
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:58,167
[ Clears throat ]
And ankles.
436
00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,674
Maybe you could've
told me that
437
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,375
before we risked our lives
before we risked our lives
438
00:14:01,465 --> 00:14:03,585
getting a tracking
dart on her!
439
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:06,096
[ Beeping ]
Looks like they've stopped. [ Beeping ]
440
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:07,508
My God.
441
00:14:07,596 --> 00:14:10,216
They're on the highest point
in Dougal County -- They're on the highest point
442
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:12,267
Mount General Lee.
Mount General Lee.
443
00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:15,271
You know, that famous car
from "The Dukes of Hazzard."
444
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,064
Look!
There she is! Look!
445
00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:19,527
[ Screeching ]
446
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:21,398
Alright,
let's get up there. Alright,
447
00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:22,815
Shouldn't we get
your deputy, first?
448
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:24,573
[ Splashing ]
Denny: I can't swim! [ Splashing ]
449
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:25,565
Come get me!
450
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,776
I can't swim!
Aah!
451
00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:31,370
Aw, he'll be fine.
452
00:14:31,453 --> 00:14:33,713
That's how my daddy
taught me how to swim. That's how my daddy
453
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:35,419
So, your dad shot you
with a tracking dart
454
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:38,209
and dropped you 100 feet
into a reservoir? and dropped you 100 feet
455
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:40,214
Well, it was a different
time, you know. Well, it was a different
456
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,626
Stop talking!
I'm drowning down here!
457
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,875
Help!
458
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,376
[ Sigh ]
Alright. [ Sigh ]
459
00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:47,972
Hup.
460
00:14:48,053 --> 00:14:49,723
[ Splash ]
[ Splash ]
461
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:50,965
[ Wind whipping ]
462
00:14:51,056 --> 00:14:54,306
[ Screeching in distance ]
[ Screeching in distance ]
463
00:14:56,061 --> 00:14:58,771
Hey! Ain't that
our shithouse? Hey! Ain't that
464
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,030
[ Creaking ]
[ Creaking ]
465
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:02,738
Daddy?
You came to save us!
466
00:15:02,818 --> 00:15:03,988
-Thank goodness!
-We're saved!
467
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:04,819
[ Lock clicks ]
[ Lock clicks ]
468
00:15:04,903 --> 00:15:05,823
Daddy, let us in.
469
00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:06,914
Occupied!
470
00:15:06,989 --> 00:15:09,489
Oh, you want
to play games, huh? Oh, you want
471
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,325
Flip it.
472
00:15:10,409 --> 00:15:11,909
-[ Grunting ]
-No!
473
00:15:11,994 --> 00:15:12,754
No, okay!
No, okay!
474
00:15:12,828 --> 00:15:14,288
Fine, stop, okay?
475
00:15:14,371 --> 00:15:16,331
I'll let you in!
I'll let you in!
476
00:15:16,415 --> 00:15:17,665
Anastasia:
The nest is up there.
477
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:20,130
Now, we just gotta
climb the tower.
478
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,210
Hold on, guys.
479
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:23,255
I'm gonna slide
across the hood.
480
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:26,009
[ Laughs ] Just like them
dang-blasted Duke boys. [ Laughs ] Just like them
481
00:15:26,091 --> 00:15:27,471
-No, no, no, don't --
-Yeehoo!
482
00:15:27,551 --> 00:15:28,551
Ha! Oh, no!
Ha! Oh, no!
483
00:15:28,636 --> 00:15:29,716
Ah ah ah!
484
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:30,803
Somebody grab me!
485
00:15:30,888 --> 00:15:32,008
Aaaaaaah!
486
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,217
[ Bones crack ]
Oh! [ Bones crack ]
487
00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:35,558
♪♪
488
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:38,443
Alright, I'm just gonna walk
down, this time. Alright, I'm just gonna walk
489
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,310
H-Hold my hand,
will you, Denny? H-Hold my hand,
490
00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:41,517
♪♪
491
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,937
Man, this 5G radiation
492
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,526
must be why she's so big.
must be why she's so big.
493
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,821
Will it make me bigger?
494
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,204
Sorry, big guy.
Sorry, big guy.
495
00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:49,950
[ Laughs ]
I'm sorry
496
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:51,532
I even called you
big guy.
497
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:52,867
Everyone knows you're not.
Everyone knows you're not.
498
00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:55,201
Uh, size
isn't everything,
499
00:15:55,287 --> 00:15:57,247
but it is more important
than intelligence. but it is more important
500
00:15:57,331 --> 00:15:59,001
Stop farting, man.
I'm climbing
501
00:15:59,083 --> 00:15:59,963
right through it!
502
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,252
Sorry, Denny.
[ Laughs ] Sorry, Denny.
503
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:04,045
I bet farts smell worse
for tiny people.
504
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:05,209
It's probably
'cause your lungs It's probably
505
00:16:05,297 --> 00:16:06,967
are so small,
they can't --
506
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:07,839
What are you doing?
507
00:16:07,925 --> 00:16:09,795
If this bird likes 5G,
If this bird likes 5G,
508
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:11,215
maybe she'll like 4C,
509
00:16:11,303 --> 00:16:12,933
as in C-4,
as in C-4,
510
00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:15,143
military-grade explosives.
[ Beeping ]
511
00:16:15,224 --> 00:16:16,814
Denny, no! [ Click ]
You're just gonna Denny, no! [ Click ]
512
00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:18,392
blow the tower up,
with us on it?
513
00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:20,147
I guess the brains
are smaller
514
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,359
on tiny people, too.
515
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:23,768
I do not negotiate
with owls.
516
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:25,727
Keep your powder dry,
little man. Keep your powder dry,
517
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:27,438
I've got a couple
of surprises
518
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,198
for Mr. Owl up there.
for Mr. Owl up there.
519
00:16:29,279 --> 00:16:30,569
That's Miss Owl.
520
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,576
[ Laughs ] I ain't
about to miss no owl, [ Laughs ] I ain't
521
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,039
when I get him
in my crosshairs.
522
00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,749
It's a female!
It's a female!
523
00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:39,330
I guess, now,
we have to have
524
00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:40,575
pronouns for birds.
pronouns for birds.
525
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,076
That's not really
a pronoun.
526
00:16:42,167 --> 00:16:43,747
It's more of an adjective --
You shut your tiny,
527
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:44,996
little mouth, Denny!
little mouth, Denny!
528
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:47,594
[ Creaks ]
529
00:16:47,673 --> 00:16:50,093
[ Hooting ]
[ Hooting ]
530
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,505
Come on, now!
Stop pushing!
531
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:52,763
Daddy, what --
what are you doing? Daddy, what --
532
00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:53,965
Ow!
-I'm more comfortable back here,
533
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:55,434
[ Grunts ]
away from the door.
534
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:56,604
When you come in last,
When you come in last,
535
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:58,182
you should be closest
to the door.
536
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,597
Daddy, I don't wanna be
closer to the door
537
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,685
and get ate by no owl.
and get ate by no owl.
538
00:17:00,769 --> 00:17:02,019
I got a long life
ahead of me.
539
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:03,484
Well, I'm not gonna
give up my seat
540
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,024
in the back
of the toilet, in the back
541
00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,187
in honor
of Ms. Rosa Parks.
542
00:17:07,276 --> 00:17:08,936
Aw, man,
don't pull the race card here. Aw, man,
543
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,608
Don't you wanna be
closest to the exit,
544
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,446
if the owl attacks?
if the owl attacks?
545
00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:13,781
Daddy, get
out of the toilet.
546
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,156
Yeah, get
out of the toilet.
547
00:17:15,242 --> 00:17:16,622
We want in the toilet.
We want in the toilet.
548
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:18,162
[ Echoing ]
Oh, I see.
549
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:20,115
Women and children first,
until we're lining up
550
00:17:20,205 --> 00:17:22,165
to get eaten by that big-ass,
giant-ass owl,
551
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:23,419
then, you got no problem
[ Splash ]
552
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,790
with the patriarchy, huh?
♪♪ with the patriarchy, huh?
553
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,167
Daddy, you playing
"Bejimbo" down there?
554
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:27,593
I'm on the phone!
555
00:17:27,671 --> 00:17:29,551
Oh, thank God
they're alive. Oh, thank God
556
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:30,971
[ Knocking ]
Early?
557
00:17:31,049 --> 00:17:32,759
I said I'm on the phone!
I said I'm on the phone!
558
00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,053
Sheriff, is that you?
559
00:17:34,136 --> 00:17:35,546
Y'all just stay calm.
560
00:17:35,637 --> 00:17:37,467
Law enforcement's on the scene.
Law enforcement's on the scene.
561
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,676
We're gonna create
a tear gas perimeter,
562
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:42,767
taser these eggs,
and torch this whole nest. taser these eggs,
563
00:17:42,853 --> 00:17:44,773
No! We have
to take her alive. No! We have
564
00:17:44,855 --> 00:17:46,225
But we got all this stuff.
565
00:17:46,315 --> 00:17:47,355
Why can't we just use it?
566
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,821
We do not negotiate
with owls! We do not negotiate
567
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,652
Now, put these on.
It'll allow you
568
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,777
to get close
without scaring her. to get close
569
00:17:53,864 --> 00:17:56,954
S-S-So,
I'm a big-ass garden gnome? S-S-So,
570
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,494
Shh!
That's right.
571
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:01,657
Now, get in there
and approach the bird. Now, get in there
572
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,707
Inch closer.
573
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,751
Ever so closer.
Ever so closer.
574
00:18:05,834 --> 00:18:08,004
Maintaining your smile.
575
00:18:08,086 --> 00:18:09,416
You're building
trust here. You're building
576
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,505
Uh, what now?
577
00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:14,510
She's looking at me
real hard. She's looking at me
578
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:15,843
Just relax.
579
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:17,348
Gaze into her eyes.
Gaze into her eyes.
580
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:19,849
[ Tranquil tune plays ]
Make the connection.
581
00:18:19,932 --> 00:18:22,892
[ Page turns ]
"The gnome approacheth owly crest,
582
00:18:22,976 --> 00:18:25,976
where upon thy beak,
gnome's lips be pressed. where upon thy beak,
583
00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:28,943
Gnome's hands caress
thy owly chest Gnome's hands caress
584
00:18:29,024 --> 00:18:31,574
and bring this brutal
beast to rest."
585
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:32,532
Wait, you want me
[ Music stops ] Wait, you want me
586
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:33,861
to kiss this owl
587
00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:35,066
and feel it up,
588
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:36,485
without consent?
without consent?
589
00:18:36,573 --> 00:18:38,703
You heard the poem.
The words have been spoken.
590
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,584
I don't think I'm comfortable
with that. I don't think I'm comfortable
591
00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:43,791
♪♪
"The portly gnome replied, 'You jest.
592
00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:46,082
I shall not wear
this dumb gnome dress I shall not wear
593
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:48,626
or press my lips
to owl crest. or press my lips
594
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,380
You've sent me
on a foolish quest.'"
595
00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:51,592
Wait, so you knew
596
00:18:51,672 --> 00:18:53,422
I wouldn't kiss the owl.
[ Music stops ] I wouldn't kiss the owl.
597
00:18:53,507 --> 00:18:55,007
Ain't no woman gonna tell me
598
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,842
what I wasn't about to do.
what I wasn't about to do.
599
00:18:56,927 --> 00:18:58,547
Mwah!
600
00:18:58,637 --> 00:19:00,177
[ Laughs ]
That ain't so bad. [ Laughs ]
601
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:01,434
-[ Screeching ]
-Uh!
602
00:19:01,515 --> 00:19:02,845
Okay, it didn't work.
603
00:19:02,933 --> 00:19:04,773
Uh, I don't think you
kissed her deep enough. Uh, I don't think you
604
00:19:04,852 --> 00:19:05,982
Try kissing her again.
605
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:07,731
Ain't you supposed to be
a bird expert?
606
00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:10,443
Yeah, University of Georgia,
with the Herschel Walker? Yeah, University of Georgia,
607
00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:11,734
I never said that!
608
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,487
I'm in the creative
writing department. I'm in the creative
609
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:14,699
Well, what's that book, then?
610
00:19:14,778 --> 00:19:16,028
Oh, this is
my self-published
611
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,363
YA fantasy novel.
YA fantasy novel.
612
00:19:17,447 --> 00:19:18,817
Shit! Denny, shoot the owl!
613
00:19:18,907 --> 00:19:20,327
[ Static crackles ]
Sorry, big guy. [ Static crackles ]
614
00:19:20,409 --> 00:19:21,239
-[ Screech ]
-Owww!
615
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,406
I bailed as soon as she
616
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,204
had you dress up
like a gnome. had you dress up
617
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:25,368
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
Y'all gonna die.
618
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:26,415
Aah!
619
00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:28,168
Then who's that Denny?
620
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:29,590
He's made of C-4,
621
00:19:29,668 --> 00:19:31,588
and his name is
Officer Boom-Boom.
622
00:19:31,670 --> 00:19:33,300
Let's get the hell outta here.
Get, get, get, get. Let's get the hell outta here.
623
00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:35,420
Early, help, please!
624
00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:36,427
♪♪
♪♪
625
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:37,428
You're about to find out
626
00:19:37,509 --> 00:19:39,179
for hoo-hoo the bell tolls,
627
00:19:39,261 --> 00:19:41,681
[ Beeping ]
you featherheaded bitch! [ Beeping ]
628
00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:42,683
Oh!
629
00:19:42,764 --> 00:19:43,644
[ Screeching ]
630
00:19:43,724 --> 00:19:44,984
Uhh. It's "whom."
Uhh. It's "whom."
631
00:19:45,058 --> 00:19:46,348
"Whom," Early.
Ohhh.
632
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:47,685
Whom the hell
do you think you are...
633
00:19:47,769 --> 00:19:50,109
-Wait -- aaaaah!
-questioning my grammar? -Wait -- aaaaah!
634
00:19:50,188 --> 00:19:52,358
[ Beeping ]
[ Beeping ]
635
00:19:52,441 --> 00:19:53,941
[ Screeching ]
636
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,066
[ Beeping ]
637
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:56,192
♪♪
♪♪
638
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:58,608
[ Explosion ]
639
00:19:58,697 --> 00:20:01,737
[ Flames crackling ]
[ Flames crackling ]
640
00:20:01,825 --> 00:20:03,615
No!
641
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,122
♪♪
"Miss Evertree exclaimed. ♪♪
642
00:20:06,204 --> 00:20:08,924
The spineless gnome
was all to blame." The spineless gnome
643
00:20:08,999 --> 00:20:10,289
"Early Cuyler be the name
644
00:20:10,375 --> 00:20:12,955
who blowed up that owl
into red-hot flame." who blowed up that owl
645
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,585
Put that
in your stupid book.
646
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:16,472
♪♪
♪♪
647
00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:17,468
Hey, y'all.
648
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:19,549
Anastasia sent us
her new book,
649
00:20:19,635 --> 00:20:23,425
"The Bewitching Owl:
Sorcery of the Cephalopod." "The Bewitching Owl:
650
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:24,773
Look, Daddy,
you're in a book! Look, Daddy,
651
00:20:24,848 --> 00:20:26,768
I judge this book
by its cover.
652
00:20:26,850 --> 00:20:27,850
It's very good!
653
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,555
A real page-burner.
A real page-burner.
654
00:20:29,645 --> 00:20:31,435
Here, put this
in the burn pile.
655
00:20:31,521 --> 00:20:32,441
Damn straight.
Damn straight.
656
00:20:32,522 --> 00:20:33,402
My daddy wrote the book
657
00:20:33,482 --> 00:20:34,572
on not reading books.
658
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,400
Uh, yeah, well.
Uh, yeah, well.
659
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,445
She also made us
these dreamcatchers.
660
00:20:38,528 --> 00:20:39,818
Now, don't burn these.
661
00:20:39,905 --> 00:20:40,985
She spent some time
on them. She spent some time
662
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,323
I already caught my dream
663
00:20:42,407 --> 00:20:43,827
and killed it and, now,
664
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:45,739
I've got another feather
in my cap. I've got another feather
665
00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:49,077
You tell the town they can
resume apple-picking season, You tell the town they can
666
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:51,004
courtesy of Curly Tuyler.
667
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,583
Yeah, I'm afraid
the governor Yeah, I'm afraid
668
00:20:52,668 --> 00:20:55,748
opened apple-pickin' season
a bit prematurely.
669
00:20:55,837 --> 00:20:58,337
[ Screaming ]
We will remain open! [ Screaming ]
670
00:20:58,423 --> 00:21:00,383
The cure cannot be worse
The cure cannot be worse
671
00:21:00,467 --> 00:21:02,007
than the --
Don't pick me up!
672
00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,104
[ Hooting ]
Yeah!
673
00:21:04,179 --> 00:21:05,969
We really should've
torched them eggs.
674
00:21:06,056 --> 00:21:08,726
I said tase the eggs.
I said it on the day. I said tase the eggs.
675
00:21:08,809 --> 00:21:10,809
I mean, hell, what's the
point of building a dome,
676
00:21:10,894 --> 00:21:13,234
if you're gonna let owl
eggs hatch inside of it? if you're gonna let owl
677
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:14,563
Give this to Granny,
will you?
678
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:16,688
You can come on down
and give it to her yourself. You can come on down
679
00:21:16,775 --> 00:21:17,775
Well, where is she?
680
00:21:17,859 --> 00:21:18,819
We drained the baby wipes
681
00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,112
out of the septic hole.
682
00:21:20,195 --> 00:21:21,315
We live down here now.
683
00:21:21,405 --> 00:21:22,405
Oh, uh.
684
00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:24,529
Is that, uh,
where your outhouse was? Is that, uh,
685
00:21:24,616 --> 00:21:26,326
Turned it
into a man cave.
686
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,450
Come on down.
Let me give you the tour. Come on down.
687
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:30,707
Uh, no thank you.
688
00:21:30,789 --> 00:21:32,039
[ Engine starts ]
Y'all stay safe now.
689
00:21:32,124 --> 00:21:34,384
[ Radio chatter ]
[ Radio chatter ]
690
00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:38,214
-They're coming.
Back up, back up, back up! -I'm in control, Denny.
691
00:21:38,296 --> 00:21:40,966
-[ Hooting, screeching ]
-I know what the hell I'm doing. -[ Hooting, screeching ]
692
00:21:41,049 --> 00:21:44,049
You think we could
keep this thing outside?
693
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:46,806
I've been having trouble
sleeping lately I've been having trouble
694
00:21:46,888 --> 00:21:50,768
and I think maybe it's 'cause
the eyes keep following me. and I think maybe it's 'cause
695
00:21:50,851 --> 00:21:53,061
Just chillax.
It's not even alive. Just chillax.
696
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:55,145
Rusty, take a picture
of me with this owl.
697
00:21:55,230 --> 00:21:57,400
Make it look like I'm
in trouble. Make it look like I'm
698
00:21:57,482 --> 00:21:58,532
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
Alright.
699
00:21:58,608 --> 00:21:59,778
Now give me
the Tae Bo stick.
700
00:21:59,860 --> 00:22:00,900
Turn the camera sideways,
Turn the camera sideways,
701
00:22:00,986 --> 00:22:02,486
make it look like it's action.
702
00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:03,861
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
Now I'm gonna go
703
00:22:03,947 --> 00:22:04,907
back-to-back with it,
back-to-back with it,
704
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,410
like we in a buddy cop movie.
705
00:22:06,491 --> 00:22:08,081
He's the pencil-pushing
rule follower,
706
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:10,330
I'm the crazy cop
with one foot out the door. I'm the crazy cop
707
00:22:10,412 --> 00:22:12,962
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
"I'm supposed to retire tomorrow!"
708
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,830
Now this one,
I'mma jump up and punch it.
709
00:22:14,916 --> 00:22:16,536
Make sure you catch me
in the air. Make sure you catch me
710
00:22:16,626 --> 00:22:18,296
1, 2,
711
00:22:18,378 --> 00:22:19,208
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
3!
712
00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:20,416
Come on, man!
Come on, man!
713
00:22:20,505 --> 00:22:22,335
You messed it up.
You gotta time it right!
714
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:26,684
♪ Made in Georgia ♪
♪ Made in Georgia ♪
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