All language subtitles for Kenan s02e08 Moving Violation.eng

[funky music]

♪

All right,
thanks for the ride.

All right.

Well, have a good time
at Six Flags, family.

Or you could come in
and help.

- [laughs]
- Hmm.

Rides and treats
with a grandpa

who will let us
roam the park alone

or clean out
a grandma's musty old basement.

What to do?

Fair. Yeah.

What have you done
with my sweet little girl?

I want her back.
- Come on, let's go.

I should be barfing
off the side

of a roller coaster
right now.

Why can't Bobbi
clean out her own basement?

Because she's still in Italy
with her boyfriend, Giancarlo.

With a fancy name
like that,

you would never guess
he was a plumber.

Well, he's sure
snaking somebody's drain.

No. Go.

Oh! That ain't right.

No, it's not. Get outta here.

[funky upbeat music]

- ♪ Kenan
- ♪ Y-yeah, yeah

- ♪ Da-da-Daddy
- ♪ Kenan

♪

♪ Okay

♪

♪ That's me
- ♪ Kenan

- ♪ Kenan
- ♪ Kenan

♪ Kenan

♪

- Ooh, good to be back home.
- Yeah.

Still smell
like cake in here.

That's crazy.
- Uh-huh.

We here, Mama.

Hi, my babies.

I'm still in the Amalfi Coast.

Look, isn't it beautiful?

Giancarlo and I
are just having

a little postcoital espresso.

Postcoital? Ma--
What is she sayin'?

Mama, speak English.

Nah, actually, Mama,
don't speak English.

Is there anything in the
basement you want to keep?

Oh, I don't want
none of that old junk.

Take what you want.
Trash the rest.

We'll be sure it's nice
and clean by the time

you get back, Ma.
- Oh, thank you, sweetheart.

Look, I gotta go.

Giancarlo and I are going
to visit the cathedral.

Oh, that's nice.

And then it's back here
for more coitus.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
do all the Italian stuff

while you're out there, Ma.

Hey, you know what?

Why don't you go on downstairs

and then google "coitus"
on your way down?

All right.

Kenan, you didn't
tell your brother

what's going on
with the house?

Yeah, no, I will.

But I'm just waiting
on the right time.

You know how emotional he gets.

Ugh, coitus means sex.

Why, Mama? Damn!

So don't worry, Mama.

The junk people will be here
in a couple of hours,

so at the end of the day,
no matter what happens,

the basement'll be empty.

All right?
Piece of cake.

Where the hell
do we start, man?

Man, I don't know.

Well, why don't we start
with your little baby teeth?

[vocalizing]
- Ugh.

These ain't mine.

The tooth fairy took mine,

and I spent that cash
already, so...

Yeah.

Ooh.

Oh, man, there is nothing
in this freezer

but an old frozen ham
and a Tupperware

that says,
"Gary's lasagna. Keep out!"

Yo, I forgot all about this!

Don't open that, man.
It's old as--

- Mm-hmm.
- Now, wait a minute.

That is not the delicious
lasagna I grew up on, man,

That is butt-naked ladies.

Yes, the sweet, delicious
butt-naked ladies I grew up on.

- Yeah, you did.
- You know what I'm sayin'?

Well, you know,
a lot of them ladies

is probably grandmamas now.
- Ah, most of them dead.

And it's up to me
to keep their memory alive,

and I sure will
right around lunchtime.

You know what, Gary?
I don't know if I've

told you this lately,
but you are quite the catch.

Yeah. Speaking of catch.

[chuckles]
My old ball sack.

- You are disgusting.
- Yes.

But clever.

Oh, and look,
the hoop is up.

Let's go. Come on.
- You know what time it is.

- You know what time it is.
- Come on, now.

Unh, wassup?
- 1997.

- Defense.
- Charlotte Hornets.

Muggsy Bogues sky hook.
- What?

Oh, dang.
- Oh.

Come on, run it back.
Run it back.

Yo, Gary. You trying to hoop?
- Yeah.

Let's go.

Just let me finish
drawing this thugged-out Salem.

I think it's wack
that you like "Sabrina" comics.

But those drawings are dope.

Man, I'm gonna read
a comic about

someone running around
in tights,

it might as well
be a fine-as-hell witch.

Now, check ball.

Jordan's got the ball.
Can he get past Shaq Fu?

Oh, you gonna get
posterized.

Oh, yeah, huh?
[grunts]

You made it.
- Hell yeah, I did.

All by myself. I wrecked you.

You were straight trash,
and I was the incinerator.

Ain't that right, wack Shaq?

For real?
That's how you gonna do me?

- Yup.
- Come on, Kenan, let's go.

Is he gonna be on TV?

I don't know.
The talent scout lady

from the mall,
she wants him to audition

for a movie, so who knows
how far he'll get?

All I know is, the kid
is ready for his close-up.

The kid should
pull his zipper up first.

- Oh!
- [laughs]

Go get 'em, fam.

Jordan for the win.

- Oh! Whoo!
- Oh! Came with a shot!

The Williams brothers
legacy, boy.

All started right here
in this basement.

Man, I can't wait
to show my kids.

Yeah, you know,
you and Carrie should probably

go on and have some.

Maybe in the next two weeks.

Sorry, what was that?
Two weeks?

- Gary.
- Hmm?

Home is a place
we all must find, child.

- Oh, my God.
- It's not just a place

where you eat or sleep.

Okay, cut out
"The Wiz" quotes man.

Just tell me the bad news.
What's up?

All right, well, the reason

we need to clean
this basement out today is...

because Mama's
selling the house.

What?

Why would Mama be trying
to sell our home?

Because she's been traveling
for the last couple of years

and she wants to spend
more time

in Italy with her boyfriend.

You remember, Gian-coitus?

- Why y'all ain't tell me?
- Because we knew you would

flip out, much like
you're doing now.

You are
a very emotional person.

Emotional!
Me? Emotional!

Oh, I'd kill you if I didn't
love you so much.

God.

You always do this.

- Don't do it.
- Do what?

Don't you lock me
in this basement again

like when we was kids.

Ain't nobody trying
to do that.

I'm grown.
I'm a grown-ass man now.

Stop inching
toward the steps.

I ain't inching
towards nothing.

I'm a grown man.
- Stop inching.

I don't gotta do
nothing you say.

Gary! Gary!

Ow!

Boy, if I catch you!

[muffled yelling]

Oh, why are you so fast?

Like an emotional baby cheetah.

Yeah, catch your breath,
Kenan.

Oh, hush up!

[doorknob rattling]

[banging on door]

Gary, open the door.

Nah, player.

Look, I should have
told you that Mama

was selling the house.

I just wanted to break it
to you at the right time.

Stop acting like
I can't handle things.

[banging on door]

- Gary, open it.
- I said no.

I should have told you
when I booked the movie

that I'd be gone
for six weeks.

I just felt bad.
- You should feel bad.

You're breaking up
the Williams brothers summer

for that stupid movie.

Nobody's asking
for "Black Goonies."

That's just
a temporary title.

Come on man, open up.

Please?

All I wanted
was to have another

Williams brothers summer.

I'm sorry, but six weeks
isn't that long.

Are you kidding?

Jason killed 100 campers
in six weeks.

No, he didn't
kill the campers.

He killed the counselors

and a couple
of no-account drifters.

That still
made my point, though.

Look I still got a week
before I have to go.

You want to play some football
in the living room?

Falcons versus Eagles.

Now, y'all know better.
No football in this house.

You heard her.

No football
in this house, Kenan.

Okay, I admit it.

You're an adult, and I
should treat you like one.

I just wanted Mama to be happy.

I'm sorry.

[lock clicking]

Thank you. Man, it does not
smell great down there.

Look, man, I want Mama
to be happy too.

I'm not a monster.

I'm selfish,
but I'm not a monster.

I know.

Look, if you want
some keepsakes,

you can bring them
back to our house.

- Yeah.
- All right?

Hey.
- Hmm?

We should have one last
hurrah up in here,

say goodbye proper-like.
- Hell yeah.

Well, what's something
we always wanted to do

that Mama wouldn't let us?

both: Falcons versus Eagles.

Oh, yeah,
this is gonna happen.

[exciting music]

All right.

Prime Time catches the ball
in his own end zone.

Whoo. Whoo!

Come get it, baby.

Got him.
- One man to beat!

Here comes the boom!

Ah, Mama!

Ow! Ow!

Oh, dang, Mama was right.

Hey, man, google
and see if it's possible

to [bleep]
inside yourself.

- I don't think it is, dog.
- I beg to differ.

All right,
let's get started, man.

♪ Now, in my younger days,
I used to sport a shag ♪

♪ When I went to school,
I carried lunch in a bag ♪

♪ With an apple for my teacher
'cause I knew I'd get a kiss ♪

♪ Always got mad
when the class was dismissed ♪

♪ But when it was in session,
I always had a question ♪

♪ I would raise my hand
to make her ♪

♪ Stagger to my desk and

♪ Help me with my problem,
it was never much ♪

♪ Just a trick
to smell her scent ♪

♪ And still I had
to let her pass ♪

Yeah, that's right.

♪ She keeps on
passing me by ♪

All right.

Making good progress, man.
- Hello!

I'm here to unjunk your bunk.

Oh, okay, come on down.

- Hey, fellas.
- Hey.

What's good?

You just gonna howdy
walk your ass

up in this house like that?
- Easy.

You left your door wide open.

This neighborhood is
gentrifying but not that fast.

Thank you.
But we are almost done here.

So--I'm sorry.
What's your name?

No names.
Best to keep it professional,

you know, like how prostitutes
don't kiss on the mouth?

- Mm, respect.
- No. And ew.

Okay, well,
I guess you can take the couch,

the freezer, and everything
on this side of the room.

Actually,
you could take the couch,

the freezer,
and them two things over there.

Well, what about
all this junk?

Yeah, Gary,
what about all this junk?

Oh, this is not junk.

This is my stuff.

Easy, Gary.

Unjunk Your Bunk lady
calls everything junk.

It's company policy.

Yeah, and Kenan
wants to know where

you plan on putting
all this stuff.

And Gary has decided
our house.

Come on, man,
you can't bring 30 boxes

of junk into my house.

Hold on. Wait a minute.

You just said it was our house.
Now it's your house?

Well, when you're trying
to turn it

into a garbage heap,
it is, yeah.

Ooh, "garbage"
is a very offensive term,

especially when you're talking
about somebody's junk.

Thank you.

And for the record,
were you a prostitute,

or you just know
prostitute facts?

What?

[upbeat music]

She ain't taking
none of my stuff, man.

Why would you think
that I would be okay with you

bringing all this stuff
to the house?

Where we gonna even put it?

The back of the girls' room

or the back of Rick's room

or the back
of the laundry room.

There's plenty of backs
of rooms in that big house.

All right, well let's just
see what's so important,

you got to displace
my babies.

- Not displacing nobody.
- What even is this?

What is this?
- Be careful with that.

Oh, yeah,
you definitely need

300 rap demos that you made
in high school.

Actually,
I made those in middle school.

I was rappin'
at a high school level.

♪ Odysseus stayed fly
on his ship ♪

♪ Poseidon was hating hard
'cause he blinded his kid ♪

That was called
"Blooded as a Rhyme Scheme."

"The Iliad"
was not to be rapped.

I think you know that.
- That was groundbreaking, fam.

And what about
these old-ass light bulbs?

These are
new-ass light bulbs.

Come on, man,
they might have been new

15 years ago,

but nobody's even using
incandescents anymore.

It's all about
the energy-saving LEDs.

Green.

What?

These'll come back,
okay, man?

What's old is new again.

You know,
like wide-legged pants

or record players
or Mayim Bialik.

You definitely don't need
no "Sabrina" comic books.

You are a Black man
from Atlanta.

Have some self-respect.

Man, I used to love drawing.
Hmm.

You know what?
Unjunk Your Bunk lady!

You know what, man?

I don't care if you think
this is worthless, all right?

This means a lot to me, man.

This is everything I have
in the world,

and I'm not throwing it away.

- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.

In case y'all
were wondering,

I brought this from home.

Yeah, I hope so,
because no one's been

shopping here
for about four months.

Mm.

I'ma stop eating this,
'cause... I'm full.

Oh, that's the reason?

Take this
to your truck, please.

Okay, player.

Actually, hey, hey,
how about you go ahead,

put that box right back there?
- Okay.

- Take the box.
- Okay.

Girl, if you
don't put that box down.

I see how we playin' this.

- Yeah.
- Eugene!

- You can call--
- A little help!

Call Eugene, call Tyrone,

Lil' Romeo,
whoever you want to.

Who is this man?

We going
"Hoarders" season two today.

You are a big guy.

Oh, hey, hey, hey!

Give it--okay.

Take the box.
I don't even want the box.

Damn, I'm scared of you.

What the hell, man?

You said you always
had my back.

What are you talking about?

We were sitting on the porch
of this very house,

and you said,
"Oh, I have your back

no matter what, forever."

You remember that, Kenan?
You remember that?

Bro, that does not
sound like me.

Oh, wow,
real convenient, man.

When something's important
to me, you don't remember.

It's not about convenience,
man.

I just don't remember.

Dog, you remember
all kinds...

Gary. Gary!

Yo, man, I got it.

Yeah, I know you got the part
in that stupid movie.

Stop rubbing it in.

I mean I found a way
that we can still have

our Williams brothers summer
together.

You can come with me.
- Yeah, right.

For real. I already talked
to Mom about it.

You can help me with my lines
and keep me company on the set.

- You did that for me?
- Of course, man.

I've got you forever
no matter what.

Williams brothers dap?

[laughter]

That's my brother.

Look, Gary, you know
I always have your back, man.

And if this stuff
means that much to you,

we'll get you a storage unit...
or five.

Man, damn, a storage unit?

Why would I pay good money

to have roaches and rats
eat all of Gary's sexy lasagna

and fornicate on my mixtapes?

What? Look, man,

you can't leave your stuff
at Mama's house,

and you can't bring it
to my house.

So if you're not gonna get
a storage unit, then...

If I don't want to get
a storage unit, then what?

I'm just saying
you're all outta options.

[sucks teeth]

Whoo-whee, so much drama.

This is better
than a Tracy Letts play.

- Who?
- What?

Unjunk Your Bunk lady
is cultured.

Not now, junkie!

Look, I'm sorry, Gary.

Y'all keep going, please.

[FaceTime ringing]

- Hey, baby.
- Hey, Mama.

Ooh, you look like Kenan
told you about the house.

You gonna be okay
with me selling?

Yes, I am,
because I'm buying it.

- Oh, Gary.
- No, no, no, no,

you want to get your life,
and that's cool, Mama.

Meanwhile, me,
I'm trying to preserve

this sacred homestead
full of childhood memories.

So name your price, Mama.
Name your price.

$355,000.

Damn! For this little house
that smells like feet, why?

Mommy, please
don't sell my house.

Oh, baby, I'm sorry,
but I have to.

Honey, Mama wants
a seaside villa,

and my man wants a Vespa.

You and Kenan just do
whatever you want, man.

Like, y'all never care
what I want.

It never matters.

Oh, now, sweetheart,
that has never been true.

Oh, no, no, no?
Because first of all,

you're selling
the only real home that I have

and I just got to deal with it.

And then you're saying
there's no place for me

to put my stuff and I'm
just supposed to accept it.

Yo, it's very clear
what I want never matters.

It's selfish, man.

Gary, let me
break this down for you.

You just can't go around
demanding that we give you

what you want when you don't
have any skin in the game.

- What?
- Yeah, you heard me.

I have my thing,
Kenan has his thing,

and you've always been just
fine going along for the ride.

What? No. What--

That is--
wow.

That is literal insanity
you just said.

No, it's true.
And you wanted it that way.

Ha-ha!

What are you doing on my
pirate ship, Black Goonies?

You can't stop us, mister.
This is our time.

Raise the roof, Black Goonies!

Why does is say
"Black Goonies" so much?

And every time
you have a victory,

do you have to pop-lock?

Sometimes I break-dance.

Kenan, go wash up
for dinner.

I need to talk to Gary
for a minute.

I'd like to eat
your baked chicken

with some fava beans
and a nice Chianti.

[slurping]

Boy, get your butt upstairs.

And I told you
not to watch that movie.

So, Gary, I hear
you're planning on coming

to North Carolina with Kenan
to shoot his movie.

Yeah.
He just needs me, poor guy.

But listen,
I've seen your drawings,

and I know how much you love
those "Sabrina" comics.

So I found an art camp for you
that I think you'll like.

What's wrong
with me going with Kenan?

Oh, nothing.

I mean, it's just,
Kenan loves to perform.

And, baby, I want to help you
figure out what you love to do

so you can have your own thing.

Wow, you get to publish
your own comic book too?

Yeah, right?
So should I sign you up?

But what if I go
and it's terrible?

But what if you go
and it's wonderful?

Baby, you'll never know
what's out there for you

if you don't step away
from your brother.

So what do you want to do?

Mm.

I'm good.

Yo, Kenan!
Let's work on your lines.

Damn.

Gary?

Baby, you still there?

Yeah. I'm still here.

Baby, all this ranting
and raving that you're doing,

it's not about my house
or Kenan's house

or where you gonna
put your stuff.

It's about you not having
something for yourself.

What am I supposed
to do, Ma?

How am I supposed
to change things now?

Oh, sweetie.

If you want things
to be different,

you have to make
different choices.

[somber music]

♪

- Now, Janay...
- Mm.

You know you my lady,

and you know I care about you.

And if you
really care about me,

then you'll take some
of Gary's boxes to your house.

Uh, please.

Have you gone crazy?
Because this is crazy.

What you talking about?
He's family.

Right. So say no, he'll hold
a grudge for a few years,

and then he'll forgive you
when he needs a kidney.

Come on, baby.

He's having a really hard time

with this house sale business.

I tried some tough love,
but I think it broke him.

I do too.
He is not in a good place.

Nah.

Hey, Kenan,
can I talk to you for a second?

Oh.

Look at them sad eyes.

Okay, how about you two
give these guys some space?

I'll wait for you inside.
- Thank you.

Hey, so look, man,
I'm, like, this close

to figuring out how you can
hold on to your

keepsakes and whatnot.
- Nah, man, I was tripping.

All that was about me
being too comfortable

living in your shadow, man.

You're not in my shadow
just because

you live in my house
and manage my career

and your only other client
is my coworker.

Damn, you literally are--

I'm getting my own place,
dog.

- What?
- I'm getting my own place.

Gary, you don't
have to do that.

Janay is gonna take, like,
five boxes,

and when I put that thang
on her later,

she gonna take eight.

And as foolproof
as that plan is, bro,

nah, man, it's time
for me to step out

and make some things happen,
you know?

Make a home of my own.

- I hear ya.
- And look, don't worry, man.

It's gonna take a few months,
and even when I'm gone,

I'll still be back over
for most meals and to hang out

because baby steps,
fam, you know?

Well, whatever you need,
I'll always be here for you.

You know that.
- I know.

Man, I've always known that,
but I think it's time

I rely on myself
for a little while, you know,

see how that goes.

You better get
some extra bedrooms

for your light bulbs
and nasty magazines.

[chuckles]

Nah, man, I'm throwing
all that junk out, bro.

Got a laptop anyway.
More options.

Black Goonies has never die.

Never, bro.

Wait, did that movie
ever get a release date?

No, NAACP shut that down.

Yeah, sounds about right,
yeah.

It was bad.

Raise the roof,
Black Goonies!

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