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1
00:00:04,295 --> 00:00:06,656
CHARLIE: I know, but I can't believe I
never even noticed this place before.
2
00:00:06,776 --> 00:00:08,027
I walk by it all the time.
3
00:00:08,029 --> 00:00:09,395
FRANK: How could you notice it?
4
00:00:09,397 --> 00:00:10,494
There's no sign outside.
5
00:00:10,496 --> 00:00:11,293
Yeah, what's up with that?
6
00:00:11,295 --> 00:00:13,129
You think it like blew down
in a storm or something?
7
00:00:13,131 --> 00:00:14,433
MAC: No, no storm.
8
00:00:14,435 --> 00:00:16,739
I think the owners did it on purpose
'cause they think it's cool.
9
00:00:16,741 --> 00:00:17,406
DENNIS: Yeah.
10
00:00:17,408 --> 00:00:20,650
They blew on their sign until it came
off 'cause they thought it was cool?
11
00:00:20,652 --> 00:00:21,320
I mean, who does that?
12
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:22,188
No, no, nobody blew anything.
13
00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:24,857
Hey, Dee, how did you find
out about this place?
14
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:26,560
SWEET DEE: Somebody sent me a
link to their Facebook page.
15
00:00:26,562 --> 00:00:28,632
Facebook-- that's why
everybody's here.
16
00:00:28,634 --> 00:00:29,899
What the hell is this?
17
00:00:29,901 --> 00:00:30,734
What?
18
00:00:30,736 --> 00:00:31,802
Is this water?
19
00:00:31,804 --> 00:00:33,204
No, it's gin.
20
00:00:33,206 --> 00:00:33,871
Aw!
21
00:00:33,873 --> 00:00:35,006
Gin?! I hate gin!
22
00:00:35,008 --> 00:00:35,807
Get me a beer!
23
00:00:35,809 --> 00:00:36,842
Get me a beer!
24
00:00:36,844 --> 00:00:37,610
Get me a beer!
25
00:00:37,612 --> 00:00:38,310
Beer!
26
00:00:38,312 --> 00:00:38,978
It's a gin bar.
27
00:00:38,980 --> 00:00:39,912
All they have is gin.
28
00:00:39,914 --> 00:00:40,647
Are you kidding?
29
00:00:40,649 --> 00:00:41,316
What?
30
00:00:41,318 --> 00:00:43,318
You mean to tell me there's this
many people in this joint--
31
00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:44,320
all they serve is gin?
32
00:00:44,322 --> 00:00:46,558
The only reason that people are
here, is because Facebook
33
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:47,760
tells them to come here.
34
00:00:47,762 --> 00:00:49,529
This is the kind of shit
we need at Paddy's.
35
00:00:49,531 --> 00:00:50,864
Paddy's got no Web presence.
36
00:00:50,866 --> 00:00:52,065
You are absolutely right.
37
00:00:52,067 --> 00:00:53,767
The whole world
is connected now.
38
00:00:53,769 --> 00:00:57,573
It's all connected by Bill Gates
and that rain man, Zuckerberg.
39
00:00:57,575 --> 00:01:00,310
He and his Jews have connected the
whole world, and now they're
40
00:01:00,312 --> 00:01:01,612
toppling regimes.
41
00:01:01,614 --> 00:01:05,284
And Egypt and Japan and the Jews
are all peaceful together...
44
00:01:07,423 --> 00:01:08,755
Facebook is connecting
everyone these days.
45
00:01:08,757 --> 00:01:10,091
Even people in the Middle East.
46
00:01:10,093 --> 00:01:11,559
That's what I'm talking about.
47
00:01:11,561 --> 00:01:13,227
Hell, and look people are showing
up to a bar that doesn't
48
00:01:13,229 --> 00:01:15,263
even have a sign, and serves
only one old-timey disgusting
49
00:01:15,265 --> 00:01:15,997
drink that nobody likes.
50
00:01:15,999 --> 00:01:17,265
Goddamn I hate gin.
51
00:01:17,267 --> 00:01:19,099
Dee, you bitch.
52
00:01:19,101 --> 00:01:20,234
That's the thing.
53
00:01:20,236 --> 00:01:22,102
This place has got a
good business model.
54
00:01:22,104 --> 00:01:23,270
We have to emulate it.
55
00:01:23,272 --> 00:01:24,405
That's absolutely right.
56
00:01:24,407 --> 00:01:26,539
We have to get rid of all
the beer in Paddy's.
57
00:01:26,541 --> 00:01:28,808
We have to blow the sign off of
the building-- you know, maybe
58
00:01:28,810 --> 00:01:30,343
I'll do the blowing,
that's fine.
59
00:01:30,345 --> 00:01:32,278
Charlie, Charlie, stop,
stop, stop, stop.
60
00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:34,580
Do you think a human being can
blow a sign off of a building?
61
00:01:34,582 --> 00:01:35,882
I didn't until Mac said it.
62
00:01:35,884 --> 00:01:36,783
I never said that.
63
00:01:36,785 --> 00:01:39,386
A man cannot blow a
sign off of a building.
64
00:01:39,388 --> 00:01:42,791
In Charlie's defense, you could loosen
the screws, get up there and blow...
65
00:01:42,793 --> 00:01:44,893
We are talking about
the Internet.
66
00:01:44,895 --> 00:01:45,894
(all talking at once)
67
00:01:45,896 --> 00:01:47,931
You are derailing
the conversation.
68
00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:51,535
Shh!
69
00:01:51,537 --> 00:01:54,139
Ugh. Ew.
70
00:01:54,141 --> 00:01:56,241
What the hell was that?
71
00:01:56,243 --> 00:01:57,910
Okay, don't worry
about it, okay.
72
00:01:57,912 --> 00:01:59,145
Guys, we got to get on this.
73
00:01:59,147 --> 00:01:59,979
He's absolutely right.
74
00:01:59,981 --> 00:02:01,448
No distractions.
75
00:02:01,450 --> 00:02:02,992
Paddy's needs to get connected.
76
00:02:03,461 --> 00:02:13,632
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
77
00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:29,094
Look at the Gin Bar's
Facebook page.
78
00:02:29,214 --> 00:02:31,099
They have like 50,000 friends.
79
00:02:31,101 --> 00:02:31,900
Crazy.
80
00:02:31,902 --> 00:02:34,370
Links to Twitter viral videos.
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00:02:34,372 --> 00:02:35,538
Their Web presence
is a amazing.
82
00:02:35,540 --> 00:02:37,473
We could do a viral
video for Paddy's.
83
00:02:37,475 --> 00:02:38,307
Well, we can't afford not to.
84
00:02:38,309 --> 00:02:39,008
That's right.
85
00:02:39,010 --> 00:02:41,978
We'll do a really cool video of
how we serve gin in spaghetti
86
00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:43,479
cans or something like that.
87
00:02:43,481 --> 00:02:44,581
And we take the sign down.
88
00:02:44,583 --> 00:02:46,883
Frank, you're getting hung
up on the wrong things.
89
00:02:46,885 --> 00:02:49,285
The old booze and the no sign
have nothing to do with it.
90
00:02:49,287 --> 00:02:51,220
Yeah, what kind of a douchebag
walks into a bar just
91
00:02:51,222 --> 00:02:52,755
because it doesn't have
a sign outside of it?
92
00:02:52,757 --> 00:02:53,656
That's stupid, Frank.
93
00:02:53,658 --> 00:02:54,523
Use your head.
94
00:02:54,525 --> 00:02:57,493
But that's the most important
thing-- exclusivity.
95
00:02:57,495 --> 00:03:00,162
Weird drinks, no
sign, that's cool.
96
00:03:00,164 --> 00:03:03,566
Maybe so, but I like
Paddy's sign, so it stays up.
97
00:03:03,568 --> 00:03:05,301
I got the sign down.
98
00:03:05,303 --> 00:03:07,403
And there's no way a man could
have blown that off of our bar.
99
00:03:07,405 --> 00:03:08,071
There's just no way.
100
00:03:08,073 --> 00:03:09,572
You're totally wrong
about that, Mac.
101
00:03:09,574 --> 00:03:10,339
Yeah.
102
00:03:10,341 --> 00:03:11,307
I never once said that!
103
00:03:11,309 --> 00:03:12,008
You did not?
104
00:03:12,010 --> 00:03:12,809
Okay, forget it, forget it.
105
00:03:12,811 --> 00:03:15,077
Charlie, we're doing a viral
video thing now, okay?
106
00:03:15,079 --> 00:03:15,845
All right.
107
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,046
Can I stop all this
for one second?
108
00:03:18,048 --> 00:03:20,081
I don't mean to derail us,
'cause this is very, very
109
00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:23,551
important stuff, but, um, I'm getting
a little hung up on something.
110
00:03:23,553 --> 00:03:27,154
The guy that shushed us last night--
is that bugging anybody else?
111
00:03:27,156 --> 00:03:28,722
I've been thinking
about that, too.
112
00:03:28,724 --> 00:03:30,157
Have you been
thinking about that?
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00:03:30,159 --> 00:03:30,858
I really have.
114
00:03:30,860 --> 00:03:31,725
What are you talking about?
115
00:03:31,727 --> 00:03:33,260
You were in the middle of
telling Charlie to keep quiet.
116
00:03:33,262 --> 00:03:35,762
I was telling him to be quiet,
I was telling him to be quiet.
117
00:03:35,764 --> 00:03:36,530
I tell everybody to be quiet.
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00:03:36,532 --> 00:03:38,098
I don't shush them
like they're animals.
119
00:03:38,100 --> 00:03:38,799
I use my words.
120
00:03:38,801 --> 00:03:39,467
Whatever.
121
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,902
I'm going to go get
the video camera.
122
00:03:40,904 --> 00:03:41,569
Yeah.
123
00:03:41,571 --> 00:03:42,303
Yes.
124
00:03:42,305 --> 00:03:44,939
Guys, you're normally very excited
about making videos, all right?
125
00:03:44,941 --> 00:03:45,740
Guys, let's just focus.
126
00:03:45,742 --> 00:03:46,841
We have bigger fish to fry.
127
00:03:46,843 --> 00:03:47,508
Yeah, let it go.
128
00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:48,309
I can't let it go.
129
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:49,077
I can't let it go either.
130
00:03:49,079 --> 00:03:49,911
I won't let it go.
131
00:03:49,913 --> 00:03:50,612
I'm irritated by it.
132
00:03:50,614 --> 00:03:52,047
I'm not going to let it go.
133
00:03:52,049 --> 00:03:54,450
Uh, yeah, but the viral video
thing is very important.
134
00:03:54,452 --> 00:03:55,217
We'll get to that.
135
00:03:55,219 --> 00:03:57,253
And we'll pop a shush on the
guy and we'll be right back.
136
00:03:57,255 --> 00:03:58,087
Let's... Yeah.
137
00:03:58,089 --> 00:03:59,522
You can just find the
guy on Facebook.
138
00:03:59,524 --> 00:04:00,957
That's where you find
people these days.
139
00:04:00,959 --> 00:04:02,492
You aren't going to find
the guy on Facebook.
140
00:04:02,494 --> 00:04:03,961
There's three billion
people on there.
141
00:04:03,963 --> 00:04:04,628
Are you crazy?
142
00:04:04,630 --> 00:04:06,130
Yeah, you don't even
know the guy's name.
143
00:04:06,132 --> 00:04:07,064
We don't know his name.
144
00:04:07,066 --> 00:04:08,599
Go on Facebook, magically find a guy.
145
00:04:08,601 --> 00:04:09,667
(Dennis laughing)
146
00:04:09,669 --> 00:04:11,301
Facebook.
147
00:04:11,303 --> 00:04:12,068
Found him.
148
00:04:12,070 --> 00:04:12,736
Really?
149
00:04:12,738 --> 00:04:13,403
Yeah.
150
00:04:13,405 --> 00:04:14,137
He was friends
with the Gin Bar.
151
00:04:14,139 --> 00:04:14,804
Holy shit.
152
00:04:14,806 --> 00:04:15,471
Yeah, that's him.
153
00:04:15,473 --> 00:04:16,138
That's him.
154
00:04:16,140 --> 00:04:16,806
Facebook is amazing.
155
00:04:16,808 --> 00:04:17,473
Right?
156
00:04:17,475 --> 00:04:18,140
We are all connected.
157
00:04:18,142 --> 00:04:18,808
Okay.
158
00:04:18,810 --> 00:04:19,475
We are all connected.
159
00:04:19,477 --> 00:04:20,276
Yeah, we're connected.
160
00:04:20,278 --> 00:04:21,410
So let's get back to business.
161
00:04:21,412 --> 00:04:22,577
Uh, viral video.
162
00:04:22,579 --> 00:04:25,446
Yeah, but now that I'm seeing his face...
Mm-hmm.
163
00:04:25,448 --> 00:04:27,248
I got to be honest...
It was very annoying last night that.
164
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:28,082
It pissed me off, all right?
165
00:04:28,084 --> 00:04:31,487
Maybe we can just, you know, send
him a friend request and then...
166
00:04:31,489 --> 00:04:32,287
Yeah, see if he responds.
167
00:04:32,289 --> 00:04:33,722
And then we'll get back
to what we were doing.
168
00:04:33,724 --> 00:04:34,523
Okay, yeah, distracted.
169
00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:35,424
Did he respond?
170
00:04:35,426 --> 00:04:36,124
Not yet.
171
00:04:36,126 --> 00:04:37,459
How long does it usually take?
172
00:04:37,461 --> 00:04:38,827
You know, it depends on
if he's online or not.
173
00:04:38,829 --> 00:04:39,495
Refresh.
174
00:04:39,497 --> 00:04:41,130
Refresh.
175
00:04:41,132 --> 00:04:41,931
No.
176
00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,933
What if you hit it faster?
177
00:04:46,003 --> 00:04:48,805
I mean, here's the problem with,
like, Facebook and Twitter.
178
00:04:48,807 --> 00:04:50,874
You know, everyone says, oh, it's
changing the world, but not
179
00:04:50,876 --> 00:04:51,908
in a good way, you know.
180
00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:53,710
We're not connected with
each other anymore.
181
00:04:53,712 --> 00:04:55,146
Tweeting-- that's not
having a conversation.
182
00:04:55,148 --> 00:04:55,813
What is that?
183
00:04:55,815 --> 00:04:56,480
I know.
184
00:04:56,482 --> 00:04:58,750
And then these people who do
that shit, they hear you having
185
00:04:58,752 --> 00:05:00,919
a real conversation with your
real buddies, your real pals,
186
00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:03,289
and they get all jealous and pissed
off and they want to shush you.
187
00:05:03,291 --> 00:05:03,990
Yeah, right.
188
00:05:03,992 --> 00:05:05,925
And you know what else is
bugging me about this guy?
189
00:05:05,927 --> 00:05:09,094
I cannot get past the fact
that we're perfect strangers.
190
00:05:09,096 --> 00:05:10,596
He doesn't know me.
191
00:05:10,598 --> 00:05:13,098
I mean, for all this guy knows,
I'm a psychopath with a trunk
192
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:14,200
full of chainsaws, right?
193
00:05:14,202 --> 00:05:17,503
He shushs me 'cause he doesn't like
the volume of my conversation?
194
00:05:17,505 --> 00:05:20,972
Next thing he knows he's chopped to
bits in a basement somewhere, you know?
195
00:05:20,974 --> 00:05:21,639
Was that worth it?
196
00:05:21,641 --> 00:05:22,307
No.
197
00:05:22,309 --> 00:05:24,375
And I could be a man with a
fist full of hammers... Right.
198
00:05:24,377 --> 00:05:25,743
...and a trunk full of
duct tape and zip ties.
199
00:05:25,745 --> 00:05:27,211
You know, this guy
doesn't know me.
200
00:05:27,213 --> 00:05:28,112
Is he crazy?
201
00:05:28,114 --> 00:05:30,548
It's very upsetting to me that
he didn't consider any of that.
202
00:05:30,550 --> 00:05:32,149
Yeah, well, this is not a
considerate man, Charlie.
203
00:05:32,151 --> 00:05:34,318
This is a rude man, and they are
very seldom the same people.
204
00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:34,985
Yeah.
205
00:05:34,987 --> 00:05:36,587
Uh, sir?
206
00:05:36,589 --> 00:05:37,488
Yeah?
207
00:05:37,490 --> 00:05:38,589
Can we get you for a second?
208
00:05:38,591 --> 00:05:40,024
We've got a...
What can I get for you guys?
209
00:05:40,026 --> 00:05:42,493
Well, we're looking for a man.
210
00:05:42,495 --> 00:05:45,062
Yeah, this guy was
a real douchebag.
211
00:05:45,064 --> 00:05:46,096
He was in here the other night.
212
00:05:46,098 --> 00:05:47,698
Yeah, douche-y looking.
213
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:48,499
Kind of douche-y.
214
00:05:48,501 --> 00:05:51,169
Yeah, I wish I had a picture
of the guy, but we don't.
215
00:05:51,171 --> 00:05:52,337
Oh, he's a shusher.
216
00:05:52,339 --> 00:05:53,805
Oh, yes, right.
217
00:05:53,807 --> 00:05:57,109
This is a douchebag who goes around
shushing people that he doesn't even know.
218
00:05:57,111 --> 00:05:58,478
Yeah, people who could
have chainsaws.
219
00:05:58,480 --> 00:05:59,245
Or hammers.
220
00:05:59,247 --> 00:06:02,216
I mean, is any of this
ringing a bell to you?
221
00:06:02,218 --> 00:06:03,684
No. Sorry.
222
00:06:03,686 --> 00:06:06,221
But I don't really see
what the big deal is.
223
00:06:06,223 --> 00:06:06,955
The big deal.
224
00:06:06,957 --> 00:06:08,790
You don't see what
the big deal is?
225
00:06:08,792 --> 00:06:11,893
The big deal, sir, is that a grown
man shushed me and my friend here.
226
00:06:11,895 --> 00:06:13,861
We demand satisfaction
from this person, okay?
227
00:06:13,863 --> 00:06:15,896
We got to find this guy because
we've got some important shit
228
00:06:15,898 --> 00:06:17,264
that we're trying to do on
the Internet, or whatever.
229
00:06:17,266 --> 00:06:18,900
We have much bigger
things going on.
230
00:06:18,902 --> 00:06:19,934
The sign is down, okay?
231
00:06:19,936 --> 00:06:20,969
The sign is down.
232
00:06:20,971 --> 00:06:21,870
He took our sign down.
233
00:06:21,872 --> 00:06:23,505
It's never been down, you
see what I'm saying?
234
00:06:23,507 --> 00:06:25,007
No.
235
00:06:25,009 --> 00:06:25,741
I'm getting frustrated.
236
00:06:25,743 --> 00:06:26,675
I'm also very frustrated.
237
00:06:26,677 --> 00:06:28,110
Look, how would you
like to be shushed?
238
00:06:28,112 --> 00:06:29,778
Don't think I'd care.
239
00:06:29,780 --> 00:06:30,846
Shh!
240
00:06:30,848 --> 00:06:31,513
How'd that feel?
241
00:06:31,515 --> 00:06:33,315
I mean, I was finished speaking.
242
00:06:33,317 --> 00:06:35,016
Well, shh to you!
243
00:06:35,018 --> 00:06:37,751
Again, I was done, so...
You're speaking too fast.
244
00:06:37,753 --> 00:06:39,686
Stop speaking in such
short sentences.
245
00:06:39,688 --> 00:06:41,788
Then we can shush you in the
middle and you'll know how it feels.
246
00:06:41,790 --> 00:06:43,122
Okay, do you guys want
a drink, or what?
247
00:06:43,124 --> 00:06:43,790
Yeah.
248
00:06:43,792 --> 00:06:44,590
Yeah, we want drinks.
249
00:06:44,592 --> 00:06:45,257
Absolutely.
250
00:06:45,259 --> 00:06:46,592
Okay, two house specials?
251
00:06:46,594 --> 00:06:48,760
Shh!
252
00:06:48,762 --> 00:06:49,495
Specials, yeah.
253
00:06:49,497 --> 00:06:50,162
Yeah, two house specials.
254
00:06:50,164 --> 00:06:50,829
Got interrupted.
255
00:06:50,831 --> 00:06:52,565
How'd that feel?
256
00:06:52,567 --> 00:06:53,967
On your away.
257
00:06:53,969 --> 00:06:56,068
I think you got him
with that one, though.
258
00:06:56,070 --> 00:06:57,870
I don't exactly
feel good about it.
259
00:06:57,872 --> 00:06:58,538
No.
260
00:06:58,540 --> 00:06:59,872
But he had to know how it feels.
261
00:06:59,874 --> 00:07:00,840
Yeah, but you nailed him.
262
00:07:00,842 --> 00:07:01,874
Thanks, man.
263
00:07:01,876 --> 00:07:06,945
Hey, you know, I think I know how we
can get a picture of this shusher guy.
264
00:07:06,947 --> 00:07:08,948
What you thinking?
265
00:07:12,151 --> 00:07:13,252
Refresh.
266
00:07:13,254 --> 00:07:14,286
Goddamn it.
267
00:07:14,288 --> 00:07:15,788
Why won't this guy
be our friend?
268
00:07:15,790 --> 00:07:16,722
It's like an online shush.
269
00:07:16,724 --> 00:07:20,693
You know, I... Okay, Paddy's Pub
has over 30 friends at this point.
270
00:07:20,695 --> 00:07:22,529
Why will this guy not
accept our friend request.
271
00:07:22,531 --> 00:07:23,196
He's too good for us?
272
00:07:23,198 --> 00:07:24,798
Don't complain, just
hit refresh again.
273
00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,166
You son of a bitch!
274
00:07:26,168 --> 00:07:29,737
I got the video camera.
275
00:07:29,739 --> 00:07:34,174
All right, Mac, say,
"I got infected."
276
00:07:34,176 --> 00:07:34,841
What?
277
00:07:34,843 --> 00:07:35,975
Say it.
278
00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:37,276
I got infected.
279
00:07:37,278 --> 00:07:38,444
Get that away from me.
280
00:07:38,446 --> 00:07:40,879
Deandra, okay, now here we go.
281
00:07:40,881 --> 00:07:42,280
Say, "I got the bug."
282
00:07:42,282 --> 00:07:43,615
No, I'm busy, Frank.
283
00:07:43,617 --> 00:07:44,449
Say, "bug."
284
00:07:44,451 --> 00:07:45,383
Bug!
285
00:07:45,385 --> 00:07:46,317
What are you doing?
286
00:07:46,319 --> 00:07:48,586
I'm shooting the virus thing.
287
00:07:48,588 --> 00:07:49,988
What virus thing?
288
00:07:49,990 --> 00:07:52,590
The virus thing that you guys
said we were going to infect all
289
00:07:52,592 --> 00:07:54,826
our friends with on
Facebook or whatever.
290
00:07:54,828 --> 00:07:55,827
Oh! We got him!
291
00:07:55,829 --> 00:07:56,828
We got him?
292
00:07:56,830 --> 00:07:57,862
We got you, Dylan Toback!
293
00:07:57,864 --> 00:07:58,729
You giant douche!
294
00:07:58,731 --> 00:08:02,800
Are you guys gonna help me
do the virus thing, or what?
295
00:08:02,802 --> 00:08:03,834
We're busy right now, Frank.
296
00:08:03,836 --> 00:08:05,602
Yeah, we're doing the
shushing thing first, Frank.
297
00:08:05,604 --> 00:08:08,106
But you said the virus video
was the most important thing!
298
00:08:08,108 --> 00:08:09,440
No, no! No!
299
00:08:09,442 --> 00:08:11,876
We said the viral video is very
important, and it is very
300
00:08:11,878 --> 00:08:13,844
important-- but we're
on to this now.
301
00:08:13,846 --> 00:08:14,745
You know, we'll do it later.
302
00:08:14,747 --> 00:08:17,248
Why don't you get it started and then
we'll come and fix what you did, okay?
303
00:08:17,250 --> 00:08:18,416
All right, but hurry up.
304
00:08:18,418 --> 00:08:19,817
Oh, check out these updates:
305
00:08:19,819 --> 00:08:21,085
"I am a man-whore.
306
00:08:21,087 --> 00:08:22,453
I hate women.
307
00:08:22,455 --> 00:08:23,688
I am a liar."
308
00:08:23,690 --> 00:08:24,789
He admits that he is a liar.
309
00:08:24,791 --> 00:08:25,756
Son of a bitch!
310
00:08:25,758 --> 00:08:30,127
Uh, looks like he is shopping for a
silk sash at Tootie's, on South Street.
311
00:08:30,129 --> 00:08:31,862
A silk sash at Tootie's?
312
00:08:31,864 --> 00:08:33,230
What an asshole.
313
00:08:33,232 --> 00:08:34,565
Hm.
314
00:08:34,567 --> 00:08:36,100
Okay... Daddy got a new plan.
315
00:08:36,102 --> 00:08:36,767
Mm-hmm.
316
00:08:36,769 --> 00:08:37,434
Daddy got a new plan.
317
00:08:37,436 --> 00:08:41,038
Let's head down to Tootie's and we'll
fire a shush right in his face.
318
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,272
We'll shush him real quick.
319
00:08:42,274 --> 00:08:44,241
But we won't tell Dennis and
Charlie, 'cause they mocked us.
320
00:08:44,243 --> 00:08:46,243
Eventually, we'll tell
them, though, right?
321
00:08:46,245 --> 00:08:48,045
Well, we won't tell them right
now, but we'll come back
322
00:08:48,047 --> 00:08:48,813
and we'll jam it in their faces.
323
00:08:48,815 --> 00:08:49,480
Freeze!
324
00:08:49,482 --> 00:08:50,414
Yeah, once we shush him.
325
00:08:50,416 --> 00:08:51,182
Okay, let's go.
326
00:08:51,184 --> 00:08:51,883
Okay. All right.
327
00:08:51,885 --> 00:08:53,150
Great idea. Great idea!
328
00:08:53,152 --> 00:08:55,019
I want to make sure you got
the nose right, though.
329
00:08:55,021 --> 00:08:57,522
That's the most important part to me,
because it was an annoying nose.
330
00:08:57,524 --> 00:09:00,024
It was an... It was a nose that
you wanted to smack, yeah.
331
00:09:00,026 --> 00:09:02,893
And then, give him, like, almond eyes if you...
You've already said that.
332
00:09:02,895 --> 00:09:03,894
And don't compliment the man.
333
00:09:03,896 --> 00:09:06,730
It's not a compliment from me, 'cause
I don't like people with almond eyes.
334
00:09:06,732 --> 00:09:07,531
I find it creepy.
335
00:09:07,533 --> 00:09:09,166
All right, well, can we just
take a look at the drawing?
336
00:09:09,168 --> 00:09:11,102
Because we kinda need
to get out of here.
337
00:09:11,104 --> 00:09:12,236
You've done an excellent job.
338
00:09:12,238 --> 00:09:13,404
Really good! Wow!
339
00:09:13,406 --> 00:09:16,708
And what is your technique, sir,
because I want to learn that.
340
00:09:16,710 --> 00:09:20,212
That is... You know, the only thing
that would help this, is if you had
341
00:09:20,214 --> 00:09:22,114
him do this gesture...
Oh, my God.
342
00:09:22,116 --> 00:09:24,083
When the man assaulted us...
DETECTIVE LARSON: Mr.
343
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:25,952
Reynolds, Mr.
Kelly, I'm Detective Larson.
344
00:09:25,954 --> 00:09:28,488
I'm gonna need to clear something
up on your report here.
345
00:09:28,490 --> 00:09:30,023
It doesn't... Yeah, we're good.
346
00:09:30,025 --> 00:09:33,192
We're good, actually, 'cause we got...
It says here this was filed
347
00:09:33,194 --> 00:09:35,728
as an assault, but the only
thing that you're claiming was
348
00:09:35,730 --> 00:09:36,829
that this man shushed you?
349
00:09:36,831 --> 00:09:38,130
Yeah.
350
00:09:38,132 --> 00:09:39,131
Yeah.
351
00:09:39,133 --> 00:09:40,098
But it was an assault.
352
00:09:40,100 --> 00:09:42,300
Shushing somebody
is not an assault.
353
00:09:42,302 --> 00:09:46,070
There was more to it than...
He-- yeah-- it wasn't just shushing, though...
354
00:09:46,072 --> 00:09:49,539
Yeah... And the reason it was an
assault was because he was
355
00:09:49,541 --> 00:09:50,607
shushing our cries for help.
356
00:09:50,609 --> 00:09:53,443
Right. This guy was raping us...
(clears throat)
357
00:09:53,445 --> 00:09:54,544
Well... wha...?
358
00:09:54,546 --> 00:09:55,478
He was raping you.
359
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,547
Yeah, well, yeah... Yeah.
360
00:09:57,549 --> 00:09:58,581
Mm-hmm.
361
00:09:58,583 --> 00:09:59,615
The both of you?
362
00:09:59,617 --> 00:10:00,984
No. You can't rape two guys.
363
00:10:00,986 --> 00:10:02,018
No... no, no, no.
364
00:10:02,020 --> 00:10:05,287
I wouldn't even necessarily classify it...
You know what happened was
365
00:10:05,289 --> 00:10:07,122
that he only raped
my friend here.
366
00:10:07,124 --> 00:10:08,890
I actually shook
him off in time.
367
00:10:08,892 --> 00:10:11,760
The guy never quite made it inside
of me but, my friend here, yeah...
368
00:10:11,762 --> 00:10:12,828
So he was only raping you?
369
00:10:12,830 --> 00:10:13,962
Yep.
370
00:10:13,964 --> 00:10:15,063
Yeah... yeah.
371
00:10:15,065 --> 00:10:18,499
He, like, really, kinda made soup
of your insides... No... n no, no.
372
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:21,035
He barely, he barely made it in
there, so, trust me, I'm fine.
373
00:10:21,037 --> 00:10:22,169
Yeah, but he bit his dick.
374
00:10:22,171 --> 00:10:23,270
Not-- what?!
375
00:10:23,272 --> 00:10:27,040
No, he did... He, he...
the reason we were going to file as a rape was
376
00:10:27,042 --> 00:10:29,843
because he did make it inside
me, but, like, just barely.
377
00:10:29,845 --> 00:10:33,246
And the guy was
super-small, so I'm fine.
378
00:10:33,248 --> 00:10:34,714
And then I did get away.
379
00:10:34,716 --> 00:10:37,251
Well, don't-don't-don't
write any of this down.
380
00:10:37,253 --> 00:10:38,286
Look, can we just
drop the case?
381
00:10:38,288 --> 00:10:39,487
Yeah!
382
00:10:39,489 --> 00:10:40,521
Right?
383
00:10:40,523 --> 00:10:44,159
We don't need to... We just need the drawing...
I don't even think about
384
00:10:44,161 --> 00:10:46,294
that, because if we have the
drawing, we can find the guy.
385
00:10:46,296 --> 00:10:48,463
We can dole out the justice,
and I'll mend this guy's...
386
00:10:48,465 --> 00:10:50,432
And then this never needs to
go in any files anywhere.
387
00:10:50,434 --> 00:10:53,067
If you and Mr. Reynolds are
filing a false police report,
388
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:56,704
there's no way in hell you're getting
out of here with that drawing.
389
00:10:56,706 --> 00:11:00,307
(sighs) All right, Charlie.
390
00:11:00,309 --> 00:11:04,645
I got another plan.
391
00:11:04,647 --> 00:11:05,946
How's that?
392
00:11:05,948 --> 00:11:07,114
That's perfect.
393
00:11:07,116 --> 00:11:08,549
That looks exactly like him!
394
00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:11,085
Yeah, I mean, he wasn't in a dune buggy
and he didn't have... No, he was not.
395
00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:13,354
...a propeller on his head, like that, but...
I like the shushing, though.
396
00:11:13,356 --> 00:11:15,356
You nailed the shushing!
397
00:11:18,214 --> 00:11:20,515
Tootie's... Tootie's...
This is it.
398
00:11:20,517 --> 00:11:21,716
Ew!
399
00:11:21,718 --> 00:11:22,851
Is that him?
400
00:11:22,853 --> 00:11:24,052
That's him.
401
00:11:24,054 --> 00:11:25,153
That is him.
402
00:11:25,155 --> 00:11:28,489
Let's do this.
403
00:11:28,491 --> 00:11:29,723
Hey, Dylan Toback.
404
00:11:29,725 --> 00:11:31,158
(both shushing)
405
00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:32,326
Oh! Hey.
406
00:11:32,328 --> 00:11:33,460
Sorry about that, ma'am.
407
00:11:33,462 --> 00:11:34,495
Hi, ma'am.
408
00:11:34,497 --> 00:11:36,764
Uh, we thought you were
this guy, Dylan Toback.
409
00:11:36,766 --> 00:11:39,299
He shushed us and...
And we were gonna shush him back, yeah.
410
00:11:39,301 --> 00:11:40,267
Yeah.
411
00:11:40,269 --> 00:11:43,137
We didn't think you were a man, per se...
I did.
412
00:11:43,139 --> 00:11:44,038
Okay, I did, too.
413
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:44,972
I did because of your hair.
414
00:11:44,974 --> 00:11:47,776
Here's why: it's the hair and it's
the cardigan, and it's the build...
415
00:11:47,778 --> 00:11:49,377
It's the way you stand,
and the broad shoulders.
416
00:11:49,379 --> 00:11:50,245
But that's okay.
417
00:11:50,247 --> 00:11:51,079
That's okay.
418
00:11:51,081 --> 00:11:52,915
There's nothing you
can do about that.
419
00:11:52,917 --> 00:11:54,016
Have a nice day.
420
00:11:54,018 --> 00:11:55,051
I'm still confused.
421
00:11:55,053 --> 00:11:56,019
I'm very confused.
422
00:11:56,021 --> 00:11:57,720
It's sort of a
transgender situation.
423
00:11:57,722 --> 00:11:59,688
SALLY: Are you guys
looking for Dylan Toback?
424
00:11:59,690 --> 00:12:00,723
Yeah. Do you know him?
425
00:12:00,725 --> 00:12:02,624
He posted on Facebook
that he was here.
426
00:12:02,626 --> 00:12:04,459
Well, can you guys
keep a secret?
427
00:12:04,461 --> 00:12:05,426
No!
428
00:12:05,428 --> 00:12:06,260
Yes. Yes.
429
00:12:06,262 --> 00:12:07,261
Yes, I can... yes, yes.
430
00:12:07,263 --> 00:12:08,228
Yes, yes.
431
00:12:08,230 --> 00:12:09,396
That wasn't him, it was me.
432
00:12:09,398 --> 00:12:11,565
I started a Facebook
page to get back at him.
433
00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:14,000
I'm his ex-girlfriend
and he was the worst.
434
00:12:14,002 --> 00:12:16,269
He was always, like,
"Sally, send me money."
435
00:12:16,271 --> 00:12:17,670
"Sally, mail me hair."
436
00:12:17,672 --> 00:12:18,938
Mail him hair?
437
00:12:18,940 --> 00:12:20,239
Weird, right?
438
00:12:20,241 --> 00:12:22,809
Yeah, and then he posted a bunch
of naked pics of me online,
439
00:12:22,811 --> 00:12:24,043
and that was the last straw.
440
00:12:24,045 --> 00:12:25,511
Oh, my God!
441
00:12:25,513 --> 00:12:26,746
That's disgusting!
442
00:12:26,748 --> 00:12:28,581
Naked pics online?
443
00:12:28,583 --> 00:12:29,849
Where? Where did he post those?
444
00:12:29,851 --> 00:12:30,984
I don't know.
445
00:12:30,986 --> 00:12:33,420
One of those disgusting
ex-girlfriend porno sites.
446
00:12:33,422 --> 00:12:35,723
Aw, those disgusting
ex-girlfriend porno sites!
447
00:12:35,725 --> 00:12:37,792
I mean, there's so
many of them, though!
448
00:12:37,794 --> 00:12:38,893
Which one?
449
00:12:38,895 --> 00:12:39,827
Which one did he post it on?
450
00:12:39,829 --> 00:12:41,729
Do you know where
we can find him?
451
00:12:41,731 --> 00:12:43,631
Oh, I can give you his address.
452
00:12:43,633 --> 00:12:44,499
I don't give a shit.
453
00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:45,367
Really?
454
00:12:45,369 --> 00:12:46,201
Great! Great!
455
00:12:46,203 --> 00:12:48,871
Also, put down one of the sites that was...
Listen, do you want to come
456
00:12:48,873 --> 00:12:50,806
with us, and maybe
get some payback?
457
00:12:50,808 --> 00:12:54,810
(laughs): That's... well...
Here's the thing: he's never actually met me.
458
00:12:54,812 --> 00:12:57,546
Well, the pics I sent were a
little more flattering than I
459
00:12:57,548 --> 00:13:02,149
actually am, and so we just sort
of had this online relationship.
460
00:13:02,151 --> 00:13:03,250
Mm! Mm-hmm.
461
00:13:03,252 --> 00:13:05,386
But the hair I mailed was mine.
462
00:13:05,388 --> 00:13:06,553
That was real.
463
00:13:06,555 --> 00:13:07,554
Okay, you know what?
464
00:13:07,556 --> 00:13:09,456
This chick is
douchier than Dylan.
465
00:13:09,458 --> 00:13:10,390
Let's get outta here!
466
00:13:10,392 --> 00:13:11,257
Yeah.
467
00:13:11,259 --> 00:13:13,092
No, I'm not even gonna look
for those nude photos.
468
00:13:13,094 --> 00:13:14,094
I might.
469
00:13:14,096 --> 00:13:15,095
I might, though.
470
00:13:15,097 --> 00:13:18,031
I might.
471
00:13:18,033 --> 00:13:20,100
Come on, man-- this
guy's been in here.
472
00:13:20,102 --> 00:13:23,071
He's got the annoying nose that you
wanted to smack... Evil almond eyes.
473
00:13:23,073 --> 00:13:26,508
I'm sorry, guys, I've never seen a
cartoon character in here shushing
474
00:13:26,510 --> 00:13:27,575
people before.
475
00:13:27,577 --> 00:13:30,813
Well, he wasn't in a dune buggy, he was...
Look, use your imagination.
476
00:13:30,815 --> 00:13:33,082
Yeah, he's not a cartoon
character, okay?
477
00:13:33,084 --> 00:13:35,217
Would you just take
this seriously?
478
00:13:35,219 --> 00:13:37,320
I don't see how I could
take this seriously.
479
00:13:37,322 --> 00:13:37,987
He's not helping.
480
00:13:37,989 --> 00:13:38,988
No.
481
00:13:38,990 --> 00:13:40,923
He's not going to
be a help to us.
482
00:13:40,925 --> 00:13:43,359
You're just going to be difficult,
so just go get us more gin drinks.
483
00:13:43,361 --> 00:13:44,193
That's all you're good for.
484
00:13:44,195 --> 00:13:45,061
More of the gin.
485
00:13:45,063 --> 00:13:47,896
God. All right...
Here's what I'm gonna do, Charlie.
486
00:13:47,898 --> 00:13:50,332
I'm going to write "Rude man who
shushes, please call" at tat
487
00:13:50,334 --> 00:13:52,267
top, and then, at the bottom,
I'll put my phone number.
488
00:13:52,269 --> 00:13:53,334
Right.
489
00:13:53,336 --> 00:13:55,370
Right? And then we'll make a
shitload of copies, we'll put
490
00:13:55,372 --> 00:13:57,339
them up all over town, and it'll
act like a wanted poster.
491
00:13:57,341 --> 00:13:59,207
Okay, wait, so you want
the rude man to call you?
492
00:13:59,209 --> 00:14:01,309
No, I want people to call
me about the rude man.
493
00:14:01,311 --> 00:14:03,979
But, if the rude man calls
me that works, too.
494
00:14:03,981 --> 00:14:05,147
That works, too!
495
00:14:05,149 --> 00:14:06,081
(laughs)
496
00:14:06,083 --> 00:14:07,082
All right.
497
00:14:07,084 --> 00:14:07,983
That's gonna work.
498
00:14:07,985 --> 00:14:09,785
Now, hold on a second-- you're
cool just putting your
499
00:14:09,787 --> 00:14:10,452
personal information out there?
500
00:14:10,454 --> 00:14:13,454
Yeah! I'm absolutely cool with that, man,
because I'm saying "connect with me."
501
00:14:13,456 --> 00:14:14,456
Right.
502
00:14:14,458 --> 00:14:17,859
See, that's what we're talking about--
people just don't connect these days.
503
00:14:17,861 --> 00:14:20,061
I'm saying call me, let's
have a phone conversation.
504
00:14:20,063 --> 00:14:21,062
Yeah, don't tweet.
505
00:14:21,064 --> 00:14:23,765
Don't just tweet me, don't shush
me-- you know, let's connect.
506
00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:25,600
Let's have a
connection, you know?
507
00:14:25,602 --> 00:14:26,568
Don't be rude!
508
00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:27,602
Let's talk about rude people.
509
00:14:27,604 --> 00:14:29,470
Let's talk about people who
do rude things, you know?
510
00:14:29,472 --> 00:14:30,505
Mm-hmm.
511
00:14:30,507 --> 00:14:32,307
I guarantee you, people
will respect this.
512
00:14:32,309 --> 00:14:33,976
Okay, one little
roadblock, no big deal.
513
00:14:33,978 --> 00:14:35,945
But let's shush this guy and
get out of here, because it's
514
00:14:35,947 --> 00:14:36,612
starting to get complicated.
515
00:14:36,614 --> 00:14:38,447
Yeah. And what was
happening back there?
516
00:14:38,449 --> 00:14:40,216
Sending nude pictures
of yourself?
517
00:14:40,218 --> 00:14:43,653
That's just stupid,
and that's desperate.
518
00:14:43,655 --> 00:14:44,921
Yeah, and hair?!
519
00:14:44,923 --> 00:14:46,823
I mean, sending hair--
that's just demented.
520
00:14:46,825 --> 00:14:49,195
Well, the hair I don't
really have a problem with.
521
00:14:49,535 --> 00:14:50,203
What are you talking about?
522
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:51,278
What is the point of that?
523
00:14:51,398 --> 00:14:53,941
You send your hair to a guy
and, you know, you just give
524
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,600
that guy a sense of you and your smells...
and... you know... Oh! Oh!
525
00:14:56,602 --> 00:14:57,601
(both shushing)
526
00:14:57,603 --> 00:14:58,735
Goddamn it!
527
00:14:58,737 --> 00:15:01,037
We're looking for Dylan Toback.
528
00:15:01,039 --> 00:15:02,753
Is he around?
529
00:15:02,873 --> 00:15:06,729
Oh, Lord...
I knew this day would come.
530
00:15:06,849 --> 00:15:08,308
Um... come in.
531
00:15:08,310 --> 00:15:10,010
(Sweet Dee and Mac groan)
532
00:15:10,856 --> 00:15:13,757
Okay, but listen, we don't
have a lot of time, okay?
533
00:15:13,759 --> 00:15:16,626
Um, a few months ago, my
daughter Jamela bought me this
534
00:15:16,628 --> 00:15:20,964
brand-new computer, and she put it right here...
Speed up, speed up, speed up!
535
00:15:20,966 --> 00:15:24,968
Okay, so, ever since Jerry
got put on life support--
536
00:15:24,970 --> 00:15:27,571
Whoa! Slow down, slow
down, slow down!
537
00:15:27,573 --> 00:15:28,806
Ew! I didn't see him there.
538
00:15:28,808 --> 00:15:31,142
I've had nothing but
time on my hands.
539
00:15:31,144 --> 00:15:33,611
And I've been so
lonely, you know?
540
00:15:33,613 --> 00:15:37,015
Okay, well, does any of this have
anything to do with Dylan Toback?
541
00:15:37,017 --> 00:15:37,982
Oh, why is she doing that?
542
00:15:37,984 --> 00:15:39,450
Um... I am Dylan Toback.
543
00:15:39,452 --> 00:15:43,921
No, no, no... Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm...
Don't say that!
544
00:15:43,923 --> 00:15:45,823
We don't have time
for that, okay?
545
00:15:45,825 --> 00:15:48,058
Is anybody online the person
who they say that they are?
546
00:15:48,060 --> 00:15:50,460
Okay, do you know how to
find the real Dylan Toback?
547
00:15:50,462 --> 00:15:53,730
Well, what I'm saying
is he doesn't exist.
548
00:15:53,732 --> 00:15:56,999
I made up the name Dylan Toback.
549
00:15:57,001 --> 00:15:59,302
I've made up dozens of names.
550
00:15:59,304 --> 00:16:00,837
I'm really good at it.
551
00:16:00,839 --> 00:16:03,273
My real name is Catfish!
552
00:16:03,275 --> 00:16:04,174
(chuckles)
553
00:16:04,176 --> 00:16:06,176
What the hell is happening here?
554
00:16:06,178 --> 00:16:07,177
Here's what I gather.
555
00:16:07,179 --> 00:16:09,246
I think she went on the Gin Bar's
Web site, found a picture
556
00:16:09,248 --> 00:16:11,416
of that guy and then made up a whole
name and personality for him.
557
00:16:11,418 --> 00:16:12,951
So we don't know the guy's name.
558
00:16:12,953 --> 00:16:13,685
No.
559
00:16:13,687 --> 00:16:15,220
We don't even know
if he's on Facebook.
560
00:16:15,222 --> 00:16:15,888
Nope.
561
00:16:15,890 --> 00:16:17,289
How the hell are
we gonna find him?
562
00:16:17,291 --> 00:16:17,990
I don't know.
563
00:16:17,992 --> 00:16:18,991
Well, how did you find me?
564
00:16:18,993 --> 00:16:20,393
Was it that Sally?
565
00:16:20,395 --> 00:16:22,628
Because that bitch been
getting on my nerves.
566
00:16:22,630 --> 00:16:24,163
So you know Sally?
567
00:16:24,165 --> 00:16:26,032
Oh, uh, Dylan knows Sally.
568
00:16:26,034 --> 00:16:28,701
No, he doesn't, 'cause Dylan
isn't real, and you know what?
569
00:16:28,703 --> 00:16:30,436
Sally isn't Sally anymore;
Sally is now Dylan.
570
00:16:30,438 --> 00:16:32,938
And what about the nude photos? I mean...
This is not about the nude
571
00:16:32,940 --> 00:16:34,206
photos, Mac... Shh! Shh!
572
00:16:34,208 --> 00:16:35,040
Don't you shush me!
573
00:16:35,042 --> 00:16:36,375
Don't you shush us, goddamn it.
574
00:16:36,377 --> 00:16:37,109
Don't disturb Jerry.
575
00:16:37,111 --> 00:16:37,943
Disturb Jerry? I'm disturbed.
576
00:16:37,945 --> 00:16:38,710
He should be disturbed.
577
00:16:38,712 --> 00:16:40,546
This whole thing is disturbing,
and if you shush me
578
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:42,281
one more time I will put you in the ground.
Do you hear me?
579
00:16:42,283 --> 00:16:43,115
Okay you know what? Dee, Dee!
580
00:16:43,117 --> 00:16:44,117
We're losing focus, all right?
581
00:16:44,119 --> 00:16:46,018
Let's just get back to the bar,
we'll find the nude photos...
582
00:16:46,020 --> 00:16:48,621
Oh, yeah, yeah, let's-let's focus on the...
Well, hold on.
583
00:16:48,623 --> 00:16:50,623
Don't you want your hair back?
584
00:16:51,765 --> 00:16:53,862
- Is that your hair, Dee?
- Oh, come on.
585
00:16:53,982 --> 00:16:55,356
You're Carl Lundegard?
586
00:16:55,602 --> 00:16:57,008
Yeah.
587
00:17:05,976 --> 00:17:06,966
I mean, what is the problem?
588
00:17:07,086 --> 00:17:08,853
Are we not putting these
in the right part of town?
589
00:17:08,855 --> 00:17:11,756
We put them in every part of town...
(cell phone vibrates)
590
00:17:11,758 --> 00:17:13,458
Oh, oh, here we go, here we go.
591
00:17:13,460 --> 00:17:14,625
Okay, come on.
592
00:17:14,627 --> 00:17:15,393
Hello?
593
00:17:15,395 --> 00:17:16,828
Saw that guy you
were looking for.
594
00:17:16,830 --> 00:17:17,495
You did?
595
00:17:17,497 --> 00:17:18,163
Yeah.
596
00:17:18,165 --> 00:17:21,066
Oh, that's great, okay, can you
tell us where exactly the... Shh!
597
00:17:21,068 --> 00:17:22,100
Uh, no, oh, you do not! Oh!
598
00:17:22,102 --> 00:17:23,268
You... ugh! He shushed me.
599
00:17:23,270 --> 00:17:24,269
Another one?
600
00:17:24,271 --> 00:17:26,338
Yes, another shusher
shushing me on the phone.
601
00:17:26,340 --> 00:17:28,306
All right, maybe the poster is
the problem because it says
602
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:30,041
"Rude man who shushes
please call..."
603
00:17:30,043 --> 00:17:30,709
Right.
604
00:17:30,711 --> 00:17:32,411
So rude men are calling
just to shush you.
605
00:17:32,413 --> 00:17:33,946
This is prank calls.
606
00:17:33,948 --> 00:17:35,914
Am I gonna have to change my phone number?
I mean, that's...
607
00:17:35,916 --> 00:17:37,983
Yes, because you never want to
put your personal information
608
00:17:37,985 --> 00:17:38,884
out there in the world.
609
00:17:38,886 --> 00:17:40,018
It's like... People abuse it.
610
00:17:40,020 --> 00:17:41,353
Yo! Did you find the guy?
611
00:17:41,355 --> 00:17:42,320
No. He's unfindable.
612
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:45,323
We just hit a bunch of dead ends, right?
The guy is a ghost, I'm telling you.
613
00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:48,659
I know! We tried to track him down on
Facebook, but it got very strange.
614
00:17:48,661 --> 00:17:50,728
Like, it was just a bunch of girls
pretending to be boys, and
615
00:17:50,730 --> 00:17:52,897
Dee banged a o fat old black
la, and then sent her hair.
616
00:17:52,899 --> 00:17:57,768
Okay, that's not... Hey!
I did the video, and I sent it to all of Paddy's
617
00:17:57,770 --> 00:17:58,769
Facebook friends.
618
00:17:58,771 --> 00:17:59,937
You did?
619
00:17:59,939 --> 00:18:00,604
Yeah.
620
00:18:00,606 --> 00:18:01,405
Frank to the rescue.
621
00:18:01,407 --> 00:18:02,506
Oh, ho! Frank saves the day.
622
00:18:02,508 --> 00:18:03,407
All right.
623
00:18:03,409 --> 00:18:04,308
Good work, Frank.
624
00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:05,342
Nice.
625
00:18:05,344 --> 00:18:06,744
Check out what you got here.
626
00:18:06,746 --> 00:18:12,417
Welcome to Paddy's Pub...
the oldest pub in America.
627
00:18:12,419 --> 00:18:13,385
Well, that's not true.
628
00:18:13,387 --> 00:18:14,386
Right.
629
00:18:14,388 --> 00:18:16,422
No, I lied.
Everybody lies on the Internet.
630
00:18:16,424 --> 00:18:19,659
He's right. Everybody out there is lying
to get what they want; why can't we?
631
00:18:19,661 --> 00:18:21,493
Totally.
632
00:18:21,495 --> 00:18:26,030
We have a variety of old liquors
served in strange containers.
633
00:18:26,032 --> 00:18:30,200
We are packed with
celebrities-- the fun ones.
634
00:18:30,202 --> 00:18:31,568
(cheering)
635
00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:35,572
We also have cockfights
and strippers.
636
00:18:35,574 --> 00:18:36,973
And guess what?
637
00:18:36,975 --> 00:18:40,609
We don't have a sign, so
good luck finding the place.
638
00:18:40,611 --> 00:18:43,011
But if you do, you'll be lucky.
639
00:18:43,013 --> 00:18:48,050
'Cause we also got donkey
shows, Motley Crue and cake.
640
00:18:48,052 --> 00:18:48,817
Awesome, awesome.
641
00:18:48,819 --> 00:18:49,684
Okay, okay. Frank!
642
00:18:49,686 --> 00:18:50,685
That's awesome.
643
00:18:50,687 --> 00:18:51,720
That is awesome.
644
00:18:51,722 --> 00:18:53,788
I got to hand it to you, I
think I would go to this bar.
645
00:18:53,790 --> 00:18:55,357
I would definitely
go to that bar.
646
00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:57,125
This is the best
part, coming up.
647
00:18:57,127 --> 00:19:00,862
So, spread the word to all of
your friends: At Paddy's Pub,
648
00:19:00,864 --> 00:19:04,932
you're guaranteed to catch a...
DEEP VOICE: Virus!
649
00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:07,135
Just ask this guy.
650
00:19:07,137 --> 00:19:08,736
I got infected.
651
00:19:08,738 --> 00:19:10,004
Get it away from me.
652
00:19:10,006 --> 00:19:11,205
Or her.
653
00:19:11,207 --> 00:19:12,473
No, I'm busy.
654
00:19:12,475 --> 00:19:16,044
She looks like she caught the...
Bug!
655
00:19:16,046 --> 00:19:21,817
So spread this video to all of your
friends, because it's a computer virus.
656
00:19:21,819 --> 00:19:24,586
Virus!
657
00:19:24,588 --> 00:19:26,455
Take it from me.
658
00:19:26,457 --> 00:19:32,295
I am a doctor... Dr. Toboggan.
659
00:19:32,297 --> 00:19:34,665
Mantis Toboggan.
660
00:19:39,037 --> 00:19:40,104
What?
661
00:19:40,106 --> 00:19:41,871
You sent that to all of
our Facebook friends?
662
00:19:41,873 --> 00:19:43,440
Yeah.
663
00:19:43,442 --> 00:19:46,309
They're gonna think they have
a computer virus, Frank.
664
00:19:46,311 --> 00:19:49,011
Wait, you're the ones who said
we needed the virus video.
665
00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:50,946
I said a "viral video,"
666
00:19:50,948 --> 00:19:52,047
Frank. Goddamn it. Goddamn it!
667
00:19:52,049 --> 00:19:54,049
Oh, my God, we never should've
left him in charge.
668
00:19:54,051 --> 00:19:56,084
See, the problem is we
got focused on the guy.
669
00:19:56,086 --> 00:19:58,953
We didn't help him with his...
This whole thing is a total mess.
670
00:19:58,955 --> 00:20:01,188
I mean, absolutely nothing
good has come of today.
671
00:20:01,190 --> 00:20:04,825
No, we wasted all of our...
(whistles): Excuse me.
672
00:20:04,827 --> 00:20:07,261
This is a bar, right?
673
00:20:07,263 --> 00:20:10,932
We noticed you guys didn't
have a sign out front.
674
00:20:10,934 --> 00:20:14,003
Thought that was pretty cool.
675
00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:17,373
You guys open?
676
00:20:17,375 --> 00:20:20,277
Yes, we are.
677
00:20:20,279 --> 00:20:24,280
Charlie, lock the door.
678
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,291
Come on in. (chuckles) Oh...
679
00:20:28,584 --> 00:20:32,136
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
49386
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