All language subtitles for 1883 S01E06

We moved towards Doan's
Crossing and the Red River.

And tragedy's next opportunity
to ravage what's left of us...

My mother says
the pain will fade.

And the good memories
will return.

I suppose that's true.

Every person on this planet
will endure this pain

until they are the cause
of it for another.

Someday, I'll die
and shatter hearts, too.

But that is not today.

Today I am living
and I'm the shattered.

Oughta try and hire
a cowboy away from 'em.

And a cook.

Can't mess with
an outfit's cook.

You steal their cattle
and they wouldn't be madder.

I ain't looking for
a gun fight this morning.

We'll hire a cook and a cowboy
going the other way at Doan's.

How's she doing?

About how you'd expect.

You hungry?

No.

Where are you going?

I need some privacy.

Why do you need privacy?

I got my period.

Death is everywhere.

It follows us like a stray dog,

waiting to devour
us like scraps.

The pain it causes
is so acute, so complete...

It's hard to understand how
it benefits us, as a species.

What purpose does pain serve?

I understand desire and fear...

And love...

And how they protect us
and better our lives

and bring new life.

But grief...

If I weren't so consumed by it,
it would baffle me.

I know how you feel.

A lot of people
are gonna tell you that.

Whether it's the truth
or not, I don't know.

But I know it's true
when I say it.

I have sat right
where you're sitting,

thinking the same thing.

Thinking I don't want
to live without them.

Don't see the point.

Still do most days.

But here I am...
living without them.

Why?

Well...

My reasons'd be
different than yours.

I don't have anyone
left who loves me.

You do.

I'll tell you a secret.

I'll tell you why
I'm still sucking air today.

I'm headed to the ocean.

The ocean?

An Apache scout
told me once...

that when you love somebody,
you trade souls with them.

They get a piece of yours,
and you get a piece of theirs.

But when your love dies...

A little piece
of you dies with them.

That's why you hurt so bad.

But that little piece
of him is still inside you.

And he can use your eyes
to see the world.

So...

I'm taking my wife
to the ocean...

And I'm gonna sit on
the beach, and let her see it.

That was her dream.

Then I'm going to see her.

That's my dream.

In the meantime, the herd
could sure use its cowgirl.

Where you going now?

Back to work.

Let's hold the herd up here.

James: Hold 'em up!

If you need something from the
traders, I'll get it for you.

You stay here
and keep them kids close.

There's as many thieves
as traders out there.

My husband's things.
I have to sell them.

Yes, ma'am, I'll get 'em sold.

Thank you.

Don't sell that shotgun.

- I don't know how to use it.
- I can teach you to use it.

You're gonna need it.

I wonder
if they got dairy cows.

Cause I'd like some milk.

Milk will spoil.

The way this damn
wagon rattles,

milk will be butter
in an afternoon.

Grab some more coffee
too, would you?

Take John. I'd like
to spend some time with Elsa.

All right, come on, son.

Here we go.

Don't let those traders
swindle you.

I plan on doing the swindling.

I'll bet.

Ride with me.

Gotta watch the herd.

The first decent
grass these cattle

have seen in a week.

The cattle will be fine.

Wade!

I'm gonna take her
to the trading post.

Do you need anything?

Well...

I wouldn't be mad
at a chocolate bar,

if they happen to have one.

If they have one, I'll buy it.

Much appreciated.

Come on.

What?

What!

You's what.

It's a free country.

I can look at whatever I want.

Judging by the way you're
dressed, you don't mind it.

I mind it.

What are you going
to do about it?

I like this one.

Let me see.

You've got expensive taste, boy.

James!

You gonna shoot me,
little girl?

Goddam right I am.

It's harder to do
than you think.

No, it ain't.

It comes real natural to me.

Look, we was just funnin'
and she pulls iron.

I guess she wasn't
having too much fun.

All right. All right.

Just... I put it down, okay?

I put it down.

James.

I don't wanna waste looking
over my shoulder for you.

You won't find us if you do.

We's headed to Fort Worth.

Well, I'd be headed that way.

What is wrong with you?

Give it to me.

You don't point this at anyone
unless you plan on using it.

I was gonna use it.

Go to camp,
and you wait there!

Whoo! Pretty short fuse
on that girl.

It's not long.

Some of them cowgirls
is ranker than the cowboys.

Like they ain't
never had a mother.

I'm her mother.

Would you like a lemonade?

I would not, thank you.

How bout a whiskey punch?

You look like you could use it.

Would you join me?

Sister, I been joining you
since noon.

Ice.

My husband bought a block
in Fort Worth in January.

Got the ice box down our well.

Hundred pound block
will last till June

if we don't get in there much.
Mm.

This is the last of it

and I ain't letting one
bit go to waste.

Sorry. Thank you.

Children can have that effect.

Mine sure did.

How was it?

Not worth going.

They never are.

Stars for a blanket.

Ground for a bed.

Good horse, open country.

That's all a cowboy needs.

Guess it's all
a cowgirl needs too.

Oregon?

Yep.

Mmmm.

Once I get there how the hell
am I supposed to get back?

We'll put your wagon
and horses on a train

and send you
wherever you want to go.

Why can't they cook
for themselves?

Can't do much
of nothing for themselves.

Which way you going?

We'll cut through South Pass,

Drop into Salt Lake,
and head west from there.

You won't beat the winter.

We'll beat it.

What about beef?

Hmm? You got beef?

'Cause there ain't shit
for game once you hit Kansas.

Fifty head.

What else you gonna do?

You buy the supplies

and I'm hundred fifty a month,
plus the freight home.

Deal.

It's my chuck wagon,
so it's my rules.

They eat what I cook.

If they don't like it they
can complain to somebody else

'cause I don't wanna
fucking hear it.

Your wagon, your rules.

Gonna cost about...

six hundred to stock up.

Why six hundred?

'Cause this is the last store
'fore we get to Wyoming.

What about Abilene?

God damn Abilene.

Hookers and killers
is all you'll find there.

I ain't going near
that sum bitch.

Mm-mmm.

Oh, Lord Jesus, be with me.

You know, there's going
to be a school here next year.

Ten years there wasn't nothing,

not a soul in this country.
Mm.

And now there's gonna
be a school.

That's progress.

I'm not even sure I know
what that word means anymore.

Nobody does!

Miss Carol?

Miss Carol, I need to supply up!

Write down what you take.
I'll be there in a minute.

Write down what you take?

All right!

Give you 35 dollars
for all of it.

- I'll take it.
- All right.

You want cash
or you wanna trade?

Cash.

All right.

Pretty.

Uh-huh. From France.

What you doing with it?

Mister, if you ain't got money

and you ain't got
beans or coffee

or a pot to boil it in,
people will trade away anything.

Further away you get
from concrete,

the more worthless
those pretty things become.

How much for it?

- Fifty dollars.
- Fifty dollars?

Ain't no damn concrete
'round here.

'Cause when I take it to
the concrete it's worth 50.

Tell you what.

Here's 15.

Keep that 35 and we're even.

All the way
to Oregon with them?

That's the plan.

Who taught 'em how
to hitch a wagon?

These folks
are a work in progress.

Well, I'd say
you ain't there yet.

Nope.

You all have any trouble
with bandits?

We had our share.

How'd they handle it?

They're here aren't they?

It's gonna get worse.

And once you get to Wyoming?

Every sorry bastard on this
earth is hid out

in that son of a bitch.

And the Indians ain't as tame
as the papers say they is.

So people keep telling me.

Look, Captain...

I been in my fair share
of gunfights

and I ain't trying
to get in another one.

I ju... I don't...

Hundred a month you say?

Yep.

How's the food?

If we can get Cookie hired
it's the same food

you been eatin'.

I'll ride the trail with you.

Grab yourgear.
Toss it in that second wagon.

Well, everything I own
is strapped to this saddle.

I thought you was working
with Swenson?

We're riding a herd
up in March.

How are them rivers?

Rank.

How's Abilene?

Well, made it out
with my wallet

which is better'd I can say
for of my outfit.

You hiring on with us?

Yeah. Got nothing
better to do.

What's her deal?
She's pretty sporty.

She was paired up with Ennis
till a Comanchero shot him.

She plugged that son of a bitch
three times in the chest.

Ennis got killed?

Yeah, she won't be
in the mood for you.

They're all
in the mood for me.

Hi. My name's Colton.
What's yours?

What do I call ya?

You don't.

Ennis was a friend of mine.

He was a good hand.

I'm sorry he's gone.

Me too.

If... if I can do anything...

let me know.

There's nothing to do.

Ma'am.

They was more than paired up.

She's in mourning
like a damn widow.

She is a widow.

Girl...

You go looking for trouble,
you gonna find it every time.

I wasn't looking for nuthin'
and it still found me.

We should have
a look at the river.

Take John to your mom.

She ain't back yet.

Hold him for me?

Don't make any sense.

Give me a minute.

Two, three...

Look at you!
Oh my God.

Oh my God.

I've never seen that before.

Never seen it before!

Hey.

I gotta go study the river.

Study the river.

Can I trust you to stay here?

Yep. This long.
As long as this is.

Awmo study the river...
Oh no...

I think I'm in trouble
but I don't care.

Whoa!

Damn.

They won't ever make it.

James: We'll run the cattle
across first,

take the wagons over one-by-one.

And I mean us.

It'll take all day,

but we'll lose half of them
if we let them emigrants do it.

How we getting
them emigrants across?

That'll take all day, too.

- At least nobody drowns.
- That's two days we don't have.

We should be in Kansas by now.

At some point they gotta learn
to do things for themselves.

The only thing they're
gonna learn crossing that

is how to die.

Don't think this
is the place to try

and teach 'em
something, Captain.

It's this to the Rockies,
and then it's worse.

If they can't cross
a fucking river,

how are they gonna cross
the mountains

or the goddam desert
we go through first?

Don't get mad.

We ain't gotta do
what the farmer say.

If you wanna swim 'em
across the river,

then we'll swim 'em
across the river.

I'm mad 'cause he's right.

Wherever we're going
it better be paradise...

'Cause it's costing
us a daughter...

If you ask me,
it's a shitty trade.

We ain't trading nuthin'.

She killed a man.

And she was about
to kill another.

I look in her eyes

and the person staring back
at me, I don't recognize.

I will never forgive
you for this!

You don't forgive me?

I don't forgive me.

You didn't see the way
he was looking at me.

Wouldn't matter if you did.

Men don't know how
to read that look.

Only know how to give it.

I'm gonna tell you a story
and you're gonna listen.

I think I've earned that right.

Hope I have.

I'll listen.

First man I killed... hm...

He was just a boy.

Younger than you.

The reason companies
have flag bearers

is so soldiers know
to stay with their group.

And generals on the hill

can track the progress
of the battle.

So much dust and smoke
in battle.

You're fighting in a fog.

It's hard to make out the enemy.

Can't tell your men from theirs.

But you can always look up
and see the flags.

So, we shoot flag bearers first.

And I did.

That boy's face
was burned into my brain.

The whole world seemed to stop

as this boy,
he's looking right at me.

By the end of the battle, I...

I'd killed so many men.

I couldn't remember
what that boy looked like.

Still can't.

That man you shot
was already dead.

Whether we hanged him
or he bled out,

his time on this earth was done.

You did not kill him.

Understand?

The meanest thing
you can do to yourself

is hate somebody else.

I know what it feels like
to hate the world.

You don't want
to feel it, honey.

Be sad. Miss him.

Cry yourself blind.

But you leave the hating to me.

I got 35 dollars.

Wish it was more,
but it was fair.

There's stew in the pot
if you're hungry.

I am.

Where'd you find meat?

It's rabbit.

I figured out the shotgun.

Don't taste like rabbit.

- Mostly rabbit.
- What else is it?

Rattlesnake.

Figured than one out, too.

Got you something.

Why would you buy me this?

Well...

If I looked like you, I...

figure I'd stare at myself...

every chance I got.

This is a present.

Yes, it is.

You won't marry me.

You won't love me,

but you will buy me gifts.

You're sad... and scared.

You have every right to be.

If I can give you something
that makes you happy

and protect you...

Don't see the crime in it.

You want me happy.

Course I do.

You want me to feel safe.

Yes, ma'am.

That's love.

Me letting you take care
of me is not fear.

It's loving you back.

Do I look scared to you?

I'm not the scared one.

You are.

I laid in the grass...

closed my eyes...

and I saw him.

Laughed at his goofy hair.

Felt the electricity
of his touch.

I laid in the grass
and I loved him.

Then I opened my eyes...

and I could see color again.

Ch-ch-ch-ch...

Hup hup!

Hup, hup... Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch...

Elsa.

What's that?

That's my name.

It'll come in handy
to know it.

Don't bother flirting with me.

Why not?

You're too pretty for me.
I prefer to be the pretty one.

Ch-ch-ch-ch...

Bet you prefer it too.

Ch-ch...

James: You drive my horse
across the river,

I'll drive the wagon.

I am perfectly capable.

I ain't questioning
what you're able to do.

There's three times
as many things that can go wrong

in the water with that.

Now, you can not forgive me
all you want.

Add this to
your list of reasons.

But I ain't losing
you to a river.

You're forgiven.

Good morning.

Mornin', ma'am.

No more "ma'am."

Noemi.

Good morning, Noemi.

Mornin'... Noemi.

The spring's back
in your step, I see.

You're the only person
who talked to me about him.

Thank you.

Shhh.

He don't like the water, huh?

He's excited.
The water's his favorite part.

- Better let him at it then.
- Okay.

Come on.

Come on, cow.
Hup, hup, hup.

Get up, get up, ch-ch-ch...

Hup, hup, hup.
Watch out, watch out.

Come on, cow. Hup, hup.

Let's bring 'em, boys.

We were leaving Texas.

Entering the Indian territory...

and redefining
our meaning of unknown.

Far from the cities that
have paved the world away,

and the farms which
have tamed it into a resource.

We were no longer under
the cloud of civilization.

Only sky above us now.

No more walking over bridges.

Out here, we swim
horseback through rivers.

There is nowhere to chain
love to vows and ceremony.

Out here love burns
through you like a fever.

And when the devil comes
to rip that love from you,

there is no funeral
with somber speeches

that dull our senses
and deaden our hearts.

Out here, you turn
toward the pain

as it tears into you,
and you let it.

When you do,
the devil gets bored.

He seeks another soul to eat.

And you get to live again.