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1
00:00:01,566 --> 00:00:03,264
Previously
on Young Sheldon...
2
00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:05,092
Here we are.
What is this?
3
00:00:05,135 --> 00:00:06,093
The dorm room.
4
00:00:06,136 --> 00:00:07,964
It's all yours.
5
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,488
Now you can study, take naps,
do whatever you want.
6
00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:11,794
No one's living here?
7
00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:13,970
Well, we had
an Indian exchange student,
8
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,798
but he developed a taste
for barbecue,
9
00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:18,279
so his parents made him go home.
10
00:00:18,322 --> 00:00:20,455
Wait, he has a room
here and at school?
11
00:00:20,498 --> 00:00:23,066
You have your own room.
I never had that growing up.
12
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:25,982
And then I was in the barracks,
and then I married your mother.
13
00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:26,983
Dang.
14
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:28,289
Yeah, tell me about it.
15
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:30,160
What happened to
appreciating what you have?
16
00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:31,901
Yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah.
17
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:34,295
Wait, you have a single?
Uh-huh.
18
00:00:34,338 --> 00:00:35,731
And you don't
even sleep here?
19
00:00:35,774 --> 00:00:36,949
Well, sometimes
I take naps,
20
00:00:36,993 --> 00:00:39,039
but that mattress
is lumpy, lumpy.
21
00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:42,477
I was learning to enjoy
22
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,348
the perks of university life,
23
00:00:44,392 --> 00:00:47,047
including a dorm
to study and nap in.
24
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,092
And since this was college,
25
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:52,487
I was even allowed to have girls
in my room.
26
00:00:52,530 --> 00:00:54,402
Here we go. Nice and clean.
27
00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:56,665
Did you use
the unscented detergent?
28
00:00:56,708 --> 00:00:58,841
You've got a nose.
Sniff it yourself.
29
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:02,323
I even had my own bathroom,
30
00:01:02,366 --> 00:01:04,673
which gave me the perfect place
to store
31
00:01:04,716 --> 00:01:06,675
my impressive collection
of sunscreens
32
00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:08,111
and bug repellents.
33
00:01:08,155 --> 00:01:10,766
However, one thing
I would never get used to
34
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:15,249
was college students' love
of blasting rock and roll music.
35
00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:36,096
Uh, who are you?
36
00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,401
I'm in the room next door.
37
00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:38,794
Oh, you're that smart kid.
38
00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:39,882
Who is it?
39
00:01:39,925 --> 00:01:41,057
That smart kid.
40
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,754
Tell him to come in.
Want to come in?
41
00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:45,192
No, I'm here to complain.
He's here to complain.
42
00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:47,063
Then don't let him in.
You can't come in.
43
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,935
I'm trying to study, and your
loud music is very distracting.
44
00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:51,807
You mean the game?
"The game"?
45
00:01:51,850 --> 00:01:54,244
I'm not up
on today's one-named pop stars.
46
00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:55,593
No. It's a video game.
47
00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,291
You have video games?
48
00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:58,553
A bunch. You play?
49
00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:01,208
My meemaw and I
beat Quest of Adeera.
50
00:02:01,251 --> 00:02:02,644
Dude, this kid beat Adeera.
51
00:02:02,687 --> 00:02:04,776
Well, tell him to come in.
Come in.
52
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:09,433
Hello.
What's up, homey?
53
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,394
Why do you have a
Rosetta stone poster?
54
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,439
Linguistics major.
Hmm.
55
00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:17,441
Sit. You can play next.
56
00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:19,226
So, how old are you?
57
00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:20,314
Twelve.
58
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:21,576
Damn.
And they let you
59
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:22,794
live here by yourself?
60
00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:24,666
That room's just for
during the day to study.
61
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:26,276
Didn't I see some
lady in there?
62
00:02:26,320 --> 00:02:27,756
That must've been my mom.
63
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:29,105
Dude, his mom is hot.
64
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,673
What is wrong with you?
Don't listen to him.
65
00:02:31,716 --> 00:02:33,762
He thinks any female
with a pulse is hot.
66
00:02:33,805 --> 00:02:34,980
I don't think your mom is hot.
67
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:37,113
Congratulations,
you're more mature than him.
68
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,594
Don't feel bad. I'm more
mature than most people.
69
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:41,987
You're up.
70
00:02:43,032 --> 00:02:45,643
Grown-ups and the elderly
had always liked me,
71
00:02:45,687 --> 00:02:48,298
and now I had won over
undergrads.
72
00:02:48,342 --> 00:02:50,213
Like a beloved board game,
73
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:53,434
I'm fun for ages nine to 90.
74
00:02:53,477 --> 00:02:56,393
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
75
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:59,222
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
76
00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:01,833
♪ I bet I could be your hero
77
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:04,184
♪ I am a mighty little man
78
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:08,405
♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
79
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:17,762
Oh, look at these prices.
80
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:20,287
I could make this dress
for Missy.
81
00:03:20,330 --> 00:03:21,897
Meemaw, make her stop.
82
00:03:21,940 --> 00:03:24,856
Come on, Mary. You already got
one kid that gets picked on.
83
00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:28,164
Oh, cute.
84
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,166
Oh, it's a little short.
85
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,515
It's supposed to be this length.
86
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:32,821
It's adorable.
87
00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:33,909
Thank you.
88
00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:34,910
Does it come down any?
89
00:03:34,953 --> 00:03:36,216
Mom.
90
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,652
Come on, Mary, it's fine.
91
00:03:37,695 --> 00:03:40,176
Well, you're not getting it.
92
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,830
All my friends dress like this.
93
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:45,355
Arms by your sides.
I want to measure.
94
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:49,316
See? It's shorter
than your fingertips.
95
00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:50,839
What the hell is happening?
96
00:03:50,882 --> 00:03:53,276
She wants to ruin my life.
The school dress code
97
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,366
says that all bottoms
must extend past the fingertips.
98
00:03:56,410 --> 00:03:58,847
It's close enough,
and they don't even check.
Well,
99
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,152
I am not wasting good money
100
00:04:00,196 --> 00:04:02,198
on something
that you can't wear to school.
101
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,852
Then I'll wear it on weekends.
102
00:04:03,895 --> 00:04:05,506
Go try on something else.
103
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:10,511
I'll get it for her.
I don't mind wasting my money.
104
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:12,382
Please?
105
00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:13,557
Fine.
106
00:04:13,601 --> 00:04:15,298
But you are not wearing it
to school,
107
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,039
and you are not wearing it
without tights.
108
00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:18,083
Love you.
109
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,085
Hey, I'm the one
paying for it.
110
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:21,261
Love you more.
111
00:04:21,304 --> 00:04:23,611
Hear that?
112
00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,790
Hey, Tom. You wanted to see me?
Yeah.
113
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,444
Why don't you shut the door
and have a seat.
114
00:04:30,487 --> 00:04:31,836
The door?
115
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,621
This can't be good.
116
00:04:35,971 --> 00:04:38,452
Uh, look,
117
00:04:38,495 --> 00:04:42,064
you know your team
didn't have a great year.
118
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,761
I'm aware.
I'm aware,
119
00:04:43,805 --> 00:04:46,242
too, 'cause I've been hearing
about it everywhere.
120
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,070
The grocery store,
gas station,
121
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:49,941
barbershop.
122
00:04:49,985 --> 00:04:52,640
And I'm only in there,
like, 30 seconds, George.
123
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,555
I know people are upset,
124
00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:56,557
but we're gonna
turn things around.
Look,
125
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,993
I'm on your side.
126
00:04:58,036 --> 00:05:02,432
But you should know the boosters
got pitchforks out.
127
00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:04,913
Not literally,
but Charlie Dean owns
128
00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:06,915
that feed store, so...
129
00:05:06,958 --> 00:05:08,743
Are you saying I'm
losing my job?
No.
130
00:05:08,786 --> 00:05:10,745
No, no, I'm saying
131
00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:12,790
you just got some fires
to put out.
132
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:16,098
Well, what am I supposed to do?
Talk to the boosters.
133
00:05:16,141 --> 00:05:17,491
Tell 'em something encouraging.
134
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:20,276
Yeah. Got it.
135
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:22,409
And say it like your job
depends on it.
136
00:05:23,497 --> 00:05:24,976
Not that it does.
137
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,805
But it does.
138
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:31,940
Watch out for the CyberToad.
139
00:05:31,983 --> 00:05:34,856
What's a CyberToad?
The evil little robot frogs.
140
00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:37,380
Although they're only known
as CyberToads in the west.
141
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,948
In Japan they're known as...MechaGamas.
142
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:41,602
Can I finish my own thoughts,
please?
143
00:05:41,645 --> 00:05:43,125
He's very sensitive.
144
00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:45,170
I'm protective of
my fun facts, too.
145
00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:47,782
I'm hungry.
You wanna order something?
146
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:50,654
Chinese? Little man,
you want Chinese?
147
00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:53,701
I don't know. I've never
had Chinese food.
Really?
148
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:55,355
We get it, like, two,
three times a week.
149
00:05:55,398 --> 00:05:57,139
Chinese food three times
a week?
150
00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:58,401
That seems excessive.
151
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,447
How have you never had
an egg roll?
152
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,318
Mom, can I please be
picked up later?
153
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,060
No. Your meemaw's already
on her way.
154
00:06:05,103 --> 00:06:06,931
But the people next door
want me to try an egg roll.
155
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:08,498
What people?
156
00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:10,152
Don't take food from strangers.
157
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,241
They're not strangers.
They're Oscar and Darren.
158
00:06:12,284 --> 00:06:14,243
Well, they're strangers to me.
159
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:16,376
Well, maybe when Meemaw
gets here,
160
00:06:16,419 --> 00:06:18,160
she can wait in the car
for a few hours.
161
00:06:18,203 --> 00:06:20,249
That is not happening,
and you know it.
162
00:06:20,292 --> 00:06:22,556
Can we at least have
Chinese food for dinner?
163
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,079
I'm making Rice-A-Roni.
164
00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:26,864
Does that count?
Nothing Chinese ends in
"a-roni."
165
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,475
Well, their loss.
166
00:06:31,695 --> 00:06:33,523
Oh, I know that face.
167
00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:36,700
Heartburn? Gas?
What are we working with?
168
00:06:36,744 --> 00:06:38,572
Not in the mood, Wayne.
169
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,748
Are you in the mood for Tums?
I could hook you up.
170
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:44,186
Apparently, the football
boosters think
171
00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:45,666
I'm not doing my job.
172
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:48,059
Just 'cause they give
a little money to the team...
173
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,365
A lot of money.
174
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:51,585
They give some amount
of money to the team.
175
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:53,108
And the new scoreboard.
176
00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:56,938
Okay. But I-I give my time,
my talent, my sweat.
177
00:06:56,981 --> 00:06:59,375
You see any boosters out there
doing two-a-day summer practice?
178
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,290
I do not.
Damn right.
179
00:07:01,333 --> 00:07:02,683
If they really want to help,
you know what they could do?
180
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:04,249
Give birth to stronger,
faster kids,
181
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,555
'cause theirs ain't cutting it.
182
00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:08,471
You know you're gonna have
to talk to them, right?
183
00:07:08,515 --> 00:07:10,691
Yes.
184
00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:13,868
And you know you can't say that
stuff about their kids, right?
185
00:07:13,911 --> 00:07:17,567
Well, what if it
comes up organically?
186
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:19,613
Maybe I should come.
187
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:22,398
I'm not gonna insult
their children.
188
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:23,704
You sure?
189
00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,488
Okay, come.
190
00:07:34,062 --> 00:07:36,847
Where's the coffee?
I finished it.
191
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:39,676
When you finish a pot,
you're supposed to make more.
192
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:41,330
Oh, is that the rule?
193
00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:43,201
It is for him.
194
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:44,594
Why are you reading
my paper?
195
00:07:44,638 --> 00:07:47,597
Well, pardon me for keeping up
on events of the day.
196
00:07:47,641 --> 00:07:51,035
Tomorrow's headline:
Father Strangles Son.
Good luck.
197
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:53,516
My horoscope says
"things are looking up."
198
00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:57,215
Well, don't you look nice.
199
00:07:57,259 --> 00:07:59,391
Nice and boring,
thanks to you.
200
00:07:59,435 --> 00:08:01,611
Is everyone gonna be
crabby today?
201
00:08:01,655 --> 00:08:03,047
I've been a delight.
202
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:04,875
Dad, can we just leave?
203
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:06,486
I haven't had my coffee yet.
204
00:08:06,529 --> 00:08:07,704
I'll give you a ride.
205
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,227
Thanks.
206
00:08:09,271 --> 00:08:10,751
Where are the damn filters?
207
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:13,710
They're in the cabinet,
where they always are.
208
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:16,191
These two, fighting like
the Serbs and Croatians
209
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:17,453
in Bosnia.
210
00:08:22,458 --> 00:08:23,981
Mom make you wear that?
211
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:25,896
Yeah.
212
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:27,942
She did the same thing to me
with pleated khakis.
213
00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:30,161
I looked like Pastor Jeff.
214
00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:32,947
Well, she doesn't know
that I brought a change.
215
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,470
Good for you.
216
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,342
I tried cutting
the khakis into shorts.
Did it help?
217
00:08:37,386 --> 00:08:39,127
No. I looked like Sheldon.
218
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,564
That's tragic.
219
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:44,132
You never get any glory
without a little pain.
220
00:08:44,175 --> 00:08:46,613
I know we've had
our share lately,
221
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:49,267
but we've got the pieces
in place for next year.
222
00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:52,662
With your support,
we're gonna make it happen.
223
00:08:52,706 --> 00:08:55,578
I think we can agree that
our boys are in good hands here.
224
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:59,103
So thanks for coming out.
Go, Wolves.
225
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:00,452
I got a question.
226
00:09:00,496 --> 00:09:03,281
Go ahead, Roy.
That game against Tyler.
227
00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:06,110
What in the hell
were you thinking
228
00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:08,765
punting with a minute 24
on the clock?
229
00:09:08,809 --> 00:09:10,332
That's a fair question.
230
00:09:12,682 --> 00:09:14,205
Sure is.
231
00:09:14,249 --> 00:09:16,294
That was a tough one.
232
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,253
But our offense was
giving up 30 pounds
233
00:09:18,296 --> 00:09:19,820
to everyone across the line.
234
00:09:19,863 --> 00:09:24,346
And we had a quarterback who had
an uneasy relationship
235
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:28,350
with... with holding onto
the ball.
236
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:30,787
So you're blaming our kids?
237
00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:31,788
Well...
No.
238
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:32,789
No?
No.
239
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,051
No.
240
00:09:34,095 --> 00:09:35,487
Look, they're great kids.
A lot of heart.
241
00:09:35,531 --> 00:09:37,968
They were getting killed
out there.
242
00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:40,318
It's a coach's job
to know when to pull back.
243
00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:42,059
So your strategy is
to surrender.
244
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:44,192
That's not what I'm saying.
You know who don't surrender?
245
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:46,150
That new coach they got
up at Carthage.
246
00:09:46,194 --> 00:09:48,588
You know he played
for the Packers.
Mm-hmm.
247
00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,546
Oh, come on.
He played for two minutes
248
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,504
and broke his collarbone,
and that was his career.
249
00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:54,028
Well, that's two minutes more
than you played.
250
00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:57,205
Help me.
251
00:09:58,685 --> 00:10:01,383
Vince Lombardi never played
for the pros.
252
00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:03,211
So now this clown is
Vince Lombardi?
253
00:10:06,214 --> 00:10:08,433
I'm not Lombardi, but I don't
need to put up with this crap.
254
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:10,000
Wait, what I think
we're all seeing
255
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:11,828
is the passion
256
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:13,569
that Coach Cooper brings
to the field.
No, what you're seeing
257
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,832
is me running out of patience.
Meeting's over.
258
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,529
Oh, there it is.
259
00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:20,184
The Cooper Surrender.
260
00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:22,578
The Cooper Surrender!
Bye-bye.
261
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:25,712
♪ Straight up, now tell me
262
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:28,366
♪ Do you really want
to love me forever? ♪
263
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,672
♪ Oh, oh, oh♪
264
00:10:29,716 --> 00:10:33,850
♪ Or am I caught
in a hit and run? ♪
265
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:35,547
♪ Straight up, now tell me
266
00:10:35,591 --> 00:10:38,463
♪ Is it gonna be
you and me together? ♪
267
00:10:38,507 --> 00:10:39,682
♪ Oh, oh, oh♪
268
00:10:39,726 --> 00:10:42,119
♪ Or are you just having fun?
269
00:10:43,904 --> 00:10:45,688
What's the matter?
270
00:10:45,732 --> 00:10:47,647
Everything.
271
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:49,257
Did somebody die?
272
00:10:50,432 --> 00:10:51,738
No.
273
00:10:51,781 --> 00:10:53,609
Then we can fix it.
274
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:57,047
Come on. Come on.
275
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,875
I was wearing
the new skirt,
276
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,268
and I felt really good.
277
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,052
Cute skirt.
278
00:11:02,096 --> 00:11:03,488
Thanks.
279
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:06,274
Your legs are so hairy.
280
00:11:07,449 --> 00:11:09,756
Ew.
Gross.
281
00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:13,107
Those bitches.
Thank you.
282
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:15,762
Is that why you got on
sweat pants?
283
00:11:15,805 --> 00:11:18,068
It gets worse.
284
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:20,070
Oh, boy.
285
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,899
I came home, and I was
in the bathroom,
286
00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:24,901
and I saw Mom's leg razor.
287
00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:26,511
Oh, no. Please tell me
288
00:11:26,555 --> 00:11:28,078
you also saw shaving cream.
289
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:30,254
I didn't.
Soap?
290
00:11:30,298 --> 00:11:33,431
Water? Lotion?
291
00:11:33,475 --> 00:11:34,998
Anything?
292
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:42,614
Hey, it's Darren.
293
00:11:44,573 --> 00:11:45,748
Hello.
294
00:11:45,792 --> 00:11:47,837
Any chance you play
Dungeons and Dragons?
295
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:50,187
And how. I once created
a campaign
296
00:11:50,231 --> 00:11:53,451
set in 1940s London where
Alan Turing was a character,
297
00:11:53,495 --> 00:11:55,453
and I had the mathematicians
be magic users
298
00:11:55,497 --> 00:11:57,107
with theorems instead of spells.
299
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,500
The intelligence officers
were clerics...
300
00:11:58,543 --> 00:12:00,371
"Yes" works. We're playing
tonight and we're down
301
00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:01,764
a magic user.
You in?
302
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,374
When are you playing?
303
00:12:03,418 --> 00:12:04,767
We start at 7:00.
We'll go till whenever.
304
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:07,204
My mom didn't let me stay
past 6:00 yesterday.
305
00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:09,816
She'll never let me stay
till "whenever."
Bummer.
306
00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:11,861
Mm. you could play
at my house.
307
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:14,124
No.
Bummer.
308
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:16,213
I've never said that before.
Did it sound cool?
309
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:18,694
No.
Bummer.
310
00:12:24,004 --> 00:12:26,702
Oh, before you open that,
could you pick up Sheldon
311
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,052
so I can get dinner on?
Do I have to?
312
00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:32,534
I'm sorry. I guess I'll do
all the parenting around here.
313
00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:35,667
I'm having a hell of a day.
Can I get five minutes' peace?
314
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:37,844
When do I get
five minutes' peace?
315
00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:40,803
Honestly, can you just take
this one thing off my plate?
316
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:46,983
Hello?
317
00:12:47,027 --> 00:12:48,811
Dad, my friends are playing
Dungeons and Dragons.
318
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:50,552
Can I please stay the night
in my dorm room?
319
00:12:50,595 --> 00:12:51,858
I promise it's safe.
320
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,729
Fine with me.
321
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,949
Thank you. Bye.
322
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:57,994
That was easy.
323
00:12:58,038 --> 00:12:59,996
Who was that?
Sheldon.
324
00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,258
He's gonna stay the night
in his dorm.
325
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:03,739
Why would you let him do that?
326
00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:05,349
One more thing
off your plate.
327
00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:13,618
You did not just
tell our son
328
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,707
that he could stay the night
by himself.
329
00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:18,667
The campus is safe, and he's not
by himself, he's with friends.
330
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:20,625
Friends that we don't know.
331
00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:21,975
What if there is alcohol?
332
00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:24,064
Then they're gonna get
a lot of fun facts
333
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,848
about the history
of fermented beverages.
334
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,676
I am serious.
335
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,504
So am I.
How else would I know
336
00:13:29,547 --> 00:13:30,766
that monkeys get drunk
by eating rotten fruit
337
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,028
off the jungle floor?
338
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:35,031
He is not ready for
this kind of situation.
339
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,772
Mary, he's a good kid.
340
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,252
He's not gonna drink
anything he shouldn't.
341
00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:39,862
And if he cared
about peer pressure,
342
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,081
he wouldn't wear a bow tie.
343
00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:45,694
I don't know.
I don't think I should.
344
00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:47,348
It's just root beer.
345
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:50,090
This late in the evening,
my mother wouldn't approve.
346
00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:51,874
Okay.
347
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,267
Then again, I didn't think
they'd let me stay,
348
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:55,747
and they did,
so maybe it's fine.
I know,
349
00:13:55,791 --> 00:13:58,838
why don't you roll for it?
Ooh, good idea.
350
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:02,189
Seventeen.
Guess I'll have it.
351
00:14:05,235 --> 00:14:06,454
We playing?
352
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,064
Hold on.
Do you have a coaster?
353
00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:10,197
Yeah, it's in the china cabinet.
354
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:13,026
And where would that be?
355
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,247
You're good at Band-Aids.
356
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:19,989
I've had practice
on Sheldon.
357
00:14:20,033 --> 00:14:22,209
He's a fragile boy.
358
00:14:22,252 --> 00:14:25,734
I don't want to go
back to school tomorrow.
You have to!
359
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:28,389
You can't let them win.
360
00:14:28,432 --> 00:14:29,912
But wear pants.
361
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,305
This is hard to look at.
362
00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:32,915
I heard women in Europe
don't shave.
363
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,482
Maybe I should move there.
364
00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:36,049
They also drink warm beer.
365
00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:37,833
They don't know
what they're doing.
366
00:14:39,443 --> 00:14:41,097
Will you show me how
to do it the right way?
367
00:14:41,141 --> 00:14:42,925
Shave? Yeah.
368
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:45,232
Drink? Your dad's the expert.
369
00:14:45,275 --> 00:14:46,886
Boys have it so easy.
370
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:48,583
They can be as hairy
as they want.
371
00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:50,541
Yeah, but they gotta
walk around being dumb
372
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:51,542
and smelly all the time.
373
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:52,935
Who wants that?
374
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:54,415
So I have to shave forever,
375
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:56,243
then marry someone
who's dumb and smelly?
376
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:58,941
Not necessarily, but...
377
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,595
there's a good chance.
378
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,292
That's depressing.
379
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,164
That's where the
drinking comes in.
380
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:08,690
Where you going?
381
00:15:08,733 --> 00:15:10,648
To get our son.
382
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,955
Mary, leave him alone.
He's fine.
383
00:15:12,999 --> 00:15:14,957
We have no idea
who he's with,
384
00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,480
and you don't even care.
385
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:20,006
You're right.
Do whatever you want.
386
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,659
What is your problem?
387
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,139
Doesn't matter.
388
00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:26,012
Hey.
389
00:15:27,491 --> 00:15:32,279
If something is
going on, tell me.
390
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:37,023
They're coming after me at work.
391
00:15:37,066 --> 00:15:38,807
Who?
392
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:42,332
The boosters.
They want a new coach.
393
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,467
Are you getting fired?
394
00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:50,601
I don't know. Maybe.
395
00:15:56,607 --> 00:15:58,044
Don't you have to go?
396
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:09,359
I'm sorry.
397
00:16:21,719 --> 00:16:23,417
Thank you.
398
00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:30,772
"You open the gate of the crypt,
399
00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:32,730
and you see two identical
elven princesses."
400
00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:34,341
Sheldon, what do you do?
401
00:16:34,384 --> 00:16:37,213
I-I don't feel so good.
402
00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:38,301
What's going on?
403
00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:40,173
My stomach hurts.
404
00:16:40,216 --> 00:16:41,565
How much did you eat?
405
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:43,306
Well...
406
00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:50,009
Dude.
407
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,836
I need to lie down.
408
00:16:53,403 --> 00:16:54,839
Oh, I don't want to
throw up.
409
00:16:54,883 --> 00:16:56,276
We don't want you
to throw up.
410
00:16:56,319 --> 00:16:58,147
If he throws up, I throw up.
Well, what should we do?
411
00:16:58,191 --> 00:16:59,540
I don't know.
Why are you asking me?
412
00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:01,063
You're the closest
to a mom here.
413
00:17:01,107 --> 00:17:02,499
I don't know.
Call his mom.
414
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:03,892
Oh, no, don't call my mom.
415
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,850
She'll never let me
do this again.
416
00:17:05,894 --> 00:17:07,504
Get him something
to throw up in.
417
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:09,898
No, not the Skittles.
418
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:13,032
Here, here.
419
00:17:13,075 --> 00:17:14,468
Here.
420
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:17,253
Next door there's an emergency
Alka-Seltzer tablet
421
00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:18,863
in my bathroom medicine chest.
422
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:19,864
You have a bathroom?
423
00:17:19,908 --> 00:17:21,083
Why does he get a bathroom?
424
00:17:21,127 --> 00:17:22,389
Go throw up in
your own bathroom.
425
00:17:22,432 --> 00:17:25,392
I don't know if I can make it.
426
00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:30,527
Get his door!
427
00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:31,702
It's locked.
428
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:33,443
Key.
429
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,054
I'm not gonna make it.
Please make it.
430
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:38,231
What is going on?
Sheldon, are you okay?
431
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:39,580
My stomach hurts.
432
00:17:39,623 --> 00:17:41,408
He's gonna throw up.
433
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,888
Did you give him beer?
Did they give you beer?!
434
00:17:43,932 --> 00:17:44,976
Just root beer.
435
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:46,978
It's gonna be okay, baby.
436
00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:48,763
Oh...
437
00:17:48,806 --> 00:17:50,069
Why is it so colorful?
438
00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:52,636
Too many... Skittles.
439
00:17:58,425 --> 00:17:59,991
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
440
00:18:00,035 --> 00:18:00,427
Captioned by
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