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ADULT SHELDON: In tenth grade,
high school students
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are presented with picking
a class of their own choosing.
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This is called an elective.
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00:00:08,205 --> 00:00:10,860
Courses on offer
included wood shop...
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00:00:10,903 --> 00:00:12,949
I'm happy with ten fingers,
thank you.
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00:00:12,992 --> 00:00:15,560
Introduction to agriculture...
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I think you know
the answer to that.
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[moos] Wrestling...
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I'd rather milk that cow.
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All of which led me to the elective I reluctantly chose...
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Psychology 101,
an investigation
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into why people think and feel
the way they do. Ugh.
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MR. GIVENS:
All right,
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00:00:33,796 --> 00:00:35,449
with Thanksgiving
weekend approaching,
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00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:36,973
it's the perfect
opportunity to observe
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00:00:37,016 --> 00:00:40,629
family dynamics and how
our parents, relatives
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00:00:40,672 --> 00:00:41,847
and siblings affect us.
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Now, the...
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Yes, Sheldon.
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I don't find that interesting.
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Well, tough knuckles,
that's the assignment.
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Now, you'll all be expected
to collect data on your family,
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form a hypothesis,
and make a prediction.
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So you're giving us
homework for Thanksgiving?
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Yes.
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Oh, boy!
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♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
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♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
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♪ I bet I could be your hero
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♪ I am a mighty little man
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♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
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Hey, listen, something
came up today
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that we need
to talk about.
What's that?
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I maybe have a shot
at a better job.
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00:01:29,939 --> 00:01:33,725
Oh, George, they're finally
gonna make you head coach?
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Better than that.
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00:01:35,031 --> 00:01:37,555
Special Teams Coach,
University of Tulsa.
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In Oklahoma?
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That is where they're keeping
Tulsa these days.
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No need to be lippy.
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You're not seriously
thinking about moving
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this whole family
to Oklahoma, are you?
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GEORGE SR.: It's 400 miles away,
I wasn't gonna commute.
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MARY:
Well, that's not gonna work.
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The kids are all settled in
with school and friends,
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and I've got my job
at the church,
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and then there's Mom.
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Am I supposed to just
walk away from her?
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GEORGE SR.: No, what
you're supposed to do
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is support my efforts
to improve our life.
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Notes for
psychology paper.
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What you doing?
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00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:18,117
Shh. Family conflict
has been observed.
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Subject M and Subject D have
opposing views on relocating.
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You better not be recording
over my Janet Jackson tape.
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Would you please?
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00:02:27,387 --> 00:02:29,215
Who's Subject M and Subject D?
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00:02:29,259 --> 00:02:31,827
I can't tell you that,
you might skew the results.
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00:02:31,870 --> 00:02:34,699
Okay, then tell me
what skew means.
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00:02:34,743 --> 00:02:36,788
Are you going to talk
the whole time?
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It seems to be annoying you,
so, yeah.
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Mary, I just can't thank you
enough for inviting me today.
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00:02:47,930 --> 00:02:51,063
You're very welcome, John.
Love having you here.
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00:02:51,107 --> 00:02:54,719
Last Thanksgiving, I just sat
in my apartment all by myself
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and ate a turkey sandwich.
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00:02:56,808 --> 00:02:58,244
That is so sad.
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00:02:58,288 --> 00:03:00,377
Well, it wasn't
at the time,
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00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:02,596
but now that I have something
to compare it to,
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00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,164
I realize what
a pathetic loser I was.
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00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:07,558
You were never a loser.
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00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:09,821
Yeah, you were.
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00:03:09,865 --> 00:03:12,084
Hey, Georgie,
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00:03:12,128 --> 00:03:14,478
you have any sentimental
attachment to this town?
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00:03:14,521 --> 00:03:16,915
I don't know, why?I'm just curious if,
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00:03:16,959 --> 00:03:19,091
you know, we ever did
pick up and live somewhere else,
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00:03:19,135 --> 00:03:20,353
how you'd feel about it.
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00:03:21,833 --> 00:03:23,661
Well, if it was Hawaii,
I'd feel pretty great.
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00:03:23,705 --> 00:03:24,967
That's where they make
Magnum, P.I.
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00:03:25,010 --> 00:03:27,621
I don't think Hawaii's
in the cards.
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00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:28,927
How about Miami?
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00:03:28,971 --> 00:03:30,842
Let me guess,
'cause of Miami Vice?
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00:03:30,886 --> 00:03:32,583
Golden Girls.
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00:03:32,626 --> 00:03:34,106
Course.
84
00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:35,368
Car.
85
00:03:36,761 --> 00:03:38,197
I saw this one
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00:03:38,241 --> 00:03:39,895
where Blanche dates
this little guy
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00:03:39,938 --> 00:03:43,899
who breaks up with her 'cause
she's not Jewish. So good.
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00:03:43,942 --> 00:03:47,554
Forget about Miami
and Hawaii and Blanche.
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00:03:47,598 --> 00:03:50,340
I mean, how do you feel about
not staying in Medford forever?
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00:03:50,383 --> 00:03:52,211
Well, I guess
I'd be okay with it.
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00:03:52,255 --> 00:03:54,039
All right.
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00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:55,693
Good to know.
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00:03:55,737 --> 00:03:58,740
Subject D is attempting
to influence Subject G
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regarding relocating.
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00:04:00,002 --> 00:04:01,264
What about you, Sheldon?
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00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:04,006
What about me what?
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00:04:04,049 --> 00:04:06,051
Could you ever see yourself
leaving Medford?
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00:04:07,531 --> 00:04:09,925
I'm sorry, Dad,
but I'm unable to express
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00:04:09,968 --> 00:04:11,622
an opinion at this time.
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00:04:11,665 --> 00:04:12,710
Why not?
101
00:04:12,754 --> 00:04:14,320
In the interest of science,
102
00:04:14,364 --> 00:04:16,453
I have to remain
a neutral observer.
103
00:04:16,496 --> 00:04:19,891
Glad I asked.
104
00:04:19,935 --> 00:04:22,633
Hey, fellows, may I join?
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00:04:22,676 --> 00:04:25,244
Sure. Here you go.
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00:04:27,072 --> 00:04:28,508
GEORGE JR.:
Dang, nice catch.
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00:04:30,859 --> 00:04:33,078
SHELDON:
Car.
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00:04:35,254 --> 00:04:37,126
Listen, I'm gonna need
your help with something.
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00:04:37,169 --> 00:04:38,954
Is it about money?
No.
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00:04:38,997 --> 00:04:41,260
Then I'm your gal.
What's up?
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00:04:41,304 --> 00:04:44,350
George is up for a coaching job
at the University of Tulsa.
112
00:04:44,394 --> 00:04:46,875
Tulsa? Ugh.
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00:04:46,918 --> 00:04:49,921
Last year, I lost $800
on that damn team.
114
00:04:49,965 --> 00:04:51,836
I'm sorry to hear that.
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00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,838
I'm fine with most
of the Division I stuff,
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00:04:53,882 --> 00:04:56,188
but these independent teams,
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00:04:56,232 --> 00:04:58,930
I j-- I just can't seem
to get a handle on it.
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00:04:58,974 --> 00:05:02,064
You think if George got that job
he might give me an inside line?
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00:05:02,107 --> 00:05:03,456
Mom.
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00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:04,980
Well, I'd cut him in,
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00:05:05,023 --> 00:05:06,764
make it look like
a Christmas present.
122
00:05:06,808 --> 00:05:08,113
Would you please listen to me?
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00:05:08,157 --> 00:05:09,462
If we move up there,
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00:05:09,506 --> 00:05:11,160
other than holidays,
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00:05:11,203 --> 00:05:13,031
you're not gonna
see your grandkids.
126
00:05:13,075 --> 00:05:15,860
Oh, that's a point.
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00:05:15,904 --> 00:05:19,081
You make it sound like
a Sophie's Choicekind of deal.
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00:05:19,124 --> 00:05:22,388
During dinner,
maybe you could express
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00:05:22,432 --> 00:05:25,914
how devastating it would be
to be away from the kids.
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00:05:25,957 --> 00:05:28,786
Well, I don't think I'd use
the word "devastating."
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00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:29,961
That doesn't sound like me.
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00:05:30,005 --> 00:05:32,964
Okay, well,
use whatever word you want.
133
00:05:33,008 --> 00:05:36,968
I might use... "heartbroken."
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00:05:37,012 --> 00:05:38,970
Good, use that.
135
00:05:39,014 --> 00:05:41,668
Yeah, maybe.
Have you got a thesaurus?
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00:05:46,543 --> 00:05:48,066
Oh, dear.
137
00:05:48,110 --> 00:05:50,199
Don't be scared, Sheldon,
it's just a parade.
138
00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:51,983
I already
don't like dogs.
139
00:05:52,027 --> 00:05:54,159
Gigantic and floating
does not help.
140
00:05:54,203 --> 00:05:57,075
Hey, how's the parade?MISSY: Great.
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00:05:57,119 --> 00:05:58,990
Alf is one of the hosts.
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00:05:59,034 --> 00:06:02,994
Alf, cool. Hey, so listen,
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00:06:03,038 --> 00:06:05,518
how attached are you
to living here in Medford?
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00:06:05,562 --> 00:06:06,868
I don't know
what that means.
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00:06:06,911 --> 00:06:08,347
If we moved away,
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00:06:08,391 --> 00:06:11,437
do you have really good friends
that you'd miss a lot?
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00:06:11,481 --> 00:06:12,917
I have really
good friends,
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00:06:12,961 --> 00:06:14,701
but I think they
would mostly miss me.
149
00:06:14,745 --> 00:06:16,529
'Cause you make friends
wherever you go.
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00:06:16,573 --> 00:06:18,618
I do. People
are drawn to me.
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00:06:18,662 --> 00:06:19,750
Ugh.
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00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:23,058
Sorry, I'm neutral.
153
00:06:24,711 --> 00:06:25,930
Okay, so what I'm hearing
is that
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you'd be happy no matter
where we lived.
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00:06:27,932 --> 00:06:30,108
I guess. Dad, please,
I'm trying to watch TV.
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00:06:30,152 --> 00:06:33,590
Sorry. I'll leave you to it.
157
00:06:38,595 --> 00:06:40,814
Oh dear, Big Bird.
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00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,283
You're making a sandwich?
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00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,024
I'm a creature of habit.
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00:06:51,067 --> 00:06:52,286
[chuckles]
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00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,027
Hey, why don't we all
go around the table
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00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:56,029
and say what we're thankful for?
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Come on, really?
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00:06:57,726 --> 00:06:59,075
Yes, really.
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00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:00,468
I'll start.
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00:07:00,512 --> 00:07:04,037
I'm thankful to be surrounded
by my loving family.
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00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,865
What about that guy?
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00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:07,693
That guy--
Dr. Sturgis--
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00:07:07,736 --> 00:07:09,608
is part of our
extended family.
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00:07:09,651 --> 00:07:11,218
Mm, thank you.
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00:07:11,261 --> 00:07:15,178
And I'm also thankful
for this warm and comfy home
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00:07:15,222 --> 00:07:18,094
that God has blessed us with
and this great neighborhood
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00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,009
with my mom living
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00:07:20,053 --> 00:07:21,184
right across the street,
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00:07:21,228 --> 00:07:24,187
and of course
our excellent
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00:07:24,231 --> 00:07:26,668
school system that
provides our children
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00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:28,888
with a world-class education.
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00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:30,846
Missy?
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00:07:30,890 --> 00:07:33,545
I'm thankful that there's two
different Ghostbustercartoons.
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00:07:33,588 --> 00:07:34,850
That's it?
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00:07:34,894 --> 00:07:36,635
Unless you know
about a third one.
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00:07:36,678 --> 00:07:39,202
Okay, my turn. [chuckles]
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00:07:39,246 --> 00:07:42,510
Um, I am so thankful
to be able to watch
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00:07:42,554 --> 00:07:43,946
my grandchildren grow up.
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00:07:43,990 --> 00:07:45,905
And I can't
even tell you
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00:07:45,948 --> 00:07:47,428
how much it
means to me
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00:07:47,472 --> 00:07:49,996
that y'all live
right across the street.
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00:07:50,039 --> 00:07:51,998
And if y'all weren't,
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00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:55,262
I would just be... heartbroken.
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00:07:57,569 --> 00:07:59,745
And not just heartbroken--
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00:07:59,788 --> 00:08:03,009
crestfallen and chagrined.
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00:08:03,052 --> 00:08:04,750
And, uh,
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00:08:04,793 --> 00:08:06,186
I'm also thankful
for my health,
194
00:08:06,229 --> 00:08:08,841
that that mole on my hip
turned out to be nothing,
195
00:08:08,884 --> 00:08:10,320
and, uh,
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00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:12,192
I'm very thankful for John here,
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00:08:12,235 --> 00:08:13,889
who has
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00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:16,631
brought so much happiness to me.
199
00:08:16,675 --> 00:08:18,111
[chuckles]
200
00:08:18,154 --> 00:08:20,983
That's it for me.
201
00:08:21,027 --> 00:08:23,769
STURGIS:
Oh, my.
Aw, lovely, Mom.
202
00:08:23,812 --> 00:08:25,379
Oh, my, I don't know
where to begin.
203
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:29,644
Well, first of all,
I'm thankful to you, Connie,
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00:08:29,688 --> 00:08:34,127
for how you make me laugh,
make me feel cared for,
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00:08:34,170 --> 00:08:37,217
all the ways you're
affectionate to me
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00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:40,699
that I can't discuss
in-in front of children
207
00:08:40,742 --> 00:08:43,223
because that would be
inappropriate, right?
208
00:08:43,266 --> 00:08:44,267
Right.
209
00:08:45,181 --> 00:08:47,575
And I'm thankful
to be here
210
00:08:47,619 --> 00:08:50,143
with your wonderful family.
211
00:08:50,186 --> 00:08:54,277
This is something I didn't
experience growing up.
212
00:08:54,321 --> 00:08:58,499
See, my father was away
a great deal on business
213
00:08:58,543 --> 00:09:01,415
and it was just me and my mother
214
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,940
and she was a cold
and distant woman
215
00:09:04,984 --> 00:09:08,814
who blamed the world
for her club foot.
216
00:09:08,857 --> 00:09:10,250
Sweetie.
And I...
217
00:09:10,293 --> 00:09:11,468
Wrap it up.
218
00:09:11,512 --> 00:09:13,470
Sorry.
219
00:09:13,514 --> 00:09:15,690
My gratitude
knows no bounds.
220
00:09:15,734 --> 00:09:17,997
Thank you.
Georgie?
221
00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:21,130
Um, I'm thankful for my job
222
00:09:21,174 --> 00:09:22,915
at the auto shop.
223
00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:25,700
Uh, let's see...
224
00:09:25,744 --> 00:09:28,094
Oh, Alyssa Milano
from Who's the Boss?
225
00:09:28,137 --> 00:09:32,272
She's really hot.
Mm... That's about it.
226
00:09:32,315 --> 00:09:35,057
That's wonderful. Shelly?
227
00:09:35,101 --> 00:09:37,103
I'm sorry, Mom, but if
I answer that question,
228
00:09:37,146 --> 00:09:39,366
I'd be violating
my experimental protocol.
229
00:09:39,409 --> 00:09:42,369
Okay, moving on. George?
230
00:09:42,412 --> 00:09:43,762
Well... [clears throat]
231
00:09:43,805 --> 00:09:45,502
I'm thankful to share
Thanksgiving dinner
232
00:09:45,546 --> 00:09:47,548
with my family, of course.
233
00:09:47,592 --> 00:09:49,724
I'm also thankful
for this fine country we live in
234
00:09:49,768 --> 00:09:52,161
and all the opportunities
it provides us.
235
00:09:52,205 --> 00:09:53,859
Especially when
those opportunities
236
00:09:53,902 --> 00:09:56,775
come once in a lifetime
and require taking a small risk
237
00:09:56,818 --> 00:09:59,168
and believing in one another.
238
00:09:59,212 --> 00:10:01,693
We're really gonna do this now?
239
00:10:01,736 --> 00:10:04,957
Hey, you started it with
all that school system crap.
240
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,350
I only did that
because you've been
241
00:10:07,394 --> 00:10:09,178
trying to twist
the kids' heads around.
242
00:10:09,222 --> 00:10:11,006
All right, who talked?
243
00:10:11,050 --> 00:10:13,095
Who do you think?
Missy.
244
00:10:13,139 --> 00:10:14,531
Yup.
245
00:10:14,575 --> 00:10:17,186
Well, it doesn't matter
because you obviously
246
00:10:17,230 --> 00:10:19,711
went to your mother and made her
your stalking horse.
247
00:10:19,754 --> 00:10:21,147
Of course
she went to me.
248
00:10:21,190 --> 00:10:23,889
Move to Oklahoma,
what's wrong with you?
249
00:10:23,932 --> 00:10:25,542
Wait, we're moving
to Oklahoma?
250
00:10:25,586 --> 00:10:27,936
I thought Texans
don't like Oklahoma.
251
00:10:27,980 --> 00:10:29,329
You're damn right we don't.
252
00:10:29,372 --> 00:10:31,244
What's wrong with Oklahoma?I'll tell you later.
253
00:10:31,287 --> 00:10:33,681
Okay, that's enough of this.
Nobody's moving anywhere.
254
00:10:33,725 --> 00:10:36,249
Let's just have
a nice, quiet dinner.
255
00:10:36,292 --> 00:10:39,731
That's it? Y-You're gonna
make the decision for me?
256
00:10:39,774 --> 00:10:41,341
I'm making a decision for us.
257
00:10:41,384 --> 00:10:43,343
All right, then.
258
00:10:43,386 --> 00:10:44,692
Where are you going?
259
00:10:44,736 --> 00:10:46,085
George.
260
00:10:46,128 --> 00:10:47,347
George!
261
00:10:55,877 --> 00:10:57,836
ADULT SHELDON:
As we sat in silence,
262
00:10:57,879 --> 00:11:00,055
I had a horrible realization.
263
00:11:00,099 --> 00:11:01,970
For the first time in my life,
264
00:11:02,014 --> 00:11:05,408
I didn't look forward
to doing my homework.
265
00:11:05,452 --> 00:11:07,454
[sobbing]
266
00:11:12,285 --> 00:11:15,462
[television announcer speaking
indistinctly]
267
00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:17,203
Just watch the TV.
268
00:11:17,246 --> 00:11:19,248
[television volume increases]
269
00:11:21,294 --> 00:11:23,339
ANNOUNCER:
Second down, nine...
270
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,385
[birds twittering]
271
00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,960
Difficult day.
272
00:11:35,003 --> 00:11:36,352
Yes.
273
00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:40,226
Psychology? Is that a
new interest of yours?
274
00:11:40,269 --> 00:11:43,229
It was either this
or milking cows.
Oh.
275
00:11:43,272 --> 00:11:46,362
I once was
licked by a cow.
276
00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,799
You made the
right choice.
277
00:11:47,842 --> 00:11:49,278
I'm not so sure.
278
00:11:49,322 --> 00:11:50,889
Why is that?
279
00:11:50,932 --> 00:11:54,240
Well, I was supposed
to observe family dynamics
280
00:11:54,283 --> 00:11:56,721
over Thanksgiving
for my hypothesis,
281
00:11:56,764 --> 00:11:57,765
then make a prediction.
282
00:11:57,809 --> 00:12:00,812
Oh. All right.
283
00:12:00,855 --> 00:12:03,249
So, um, what
did you observe?
284
00:12:03,292 --> 00:12:06,382
My mom and dad arguing
over moving to Oklahoma
285
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,557
for my dad's job.
286
00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:10,343
I would concur with
that observation.
287
00:12:10,386 --> 00:12:14,173
Now, can you form a
hypothesis based on that?
288
00:12:14,216 --> 00:12:18,090
Well, their marriage
is a zero sum game.
289
00:12:18,133 --> 00:12:19,439
What's good for my father
290
00:12:19,482 --> 00:12:21,354
isn't good for my mother
and vice versa.
291
00:12:21,397 --> 00:12:22,355
Excellent.
292
00:12:22,398 --> 00:12:24,009
And your prediction?
293
00:12:24,052 --> 00:12:26,272
Well, based on
previous arguments
294
00:12:26,315 --> 00:12:28,317
I've observed,
my father will try
295
00:12:28,361 --> 00:12:29,928
to reassert his dominance
296
00:12:29,971 --> 00:12:32,365
by making a meaningless
symbolic gesture.
297
00:12:32,408 --> 00:12:35,237
Really? That seems
a bit of a stretch.
298
00:12:35,281 --> 00:12:37,500
[car horn honks]
299
00:12:37,544 --> 00:12:39,502
["Take It On the Run" by REO
Speedwagon playing on car radio]
300
00:12:39,546 --> 00:12:41,287
♪ You take it on the run, baby
301
00:12:41,330 --> 00:12:45,421
♪ If that's the way you want it,
baby ♪
302
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:48,424
♪ Then I don't want
you around... ♪
303
00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:52,254
I will never
question you again.
304
00:12:52,298 --> 00:12:55,344
♪ I don't believe it...
305
00:12:55,388 --> 00:12:57,303
[exhales sharply]
306
00:12:57,346 --> 00:12:58,783
MARY:
Are you insane?
307
00:12:58,826 --> 00:13:00,523
We can't afford a Ferrari.
308
00:13:00,567 --> 00:13:02,090
GEORGE SR.:
It's a Fiero.
309
00:13:02,134 --> 00:13:03,570
MARY:
Ferrari, Fiero, same thing.
310
00:13:03,613 --> 00:13:05,137
GEORGE SR.:
Not really.
311
00:13:05,180 --> 00:13:06,965
Now, do you mind?
I'm trying to watch the game.
312
00:13:07,008 --> 00:13:08,314
Everybody's going to Meemaw's.
Come on.
313
00:13:08,357 --> 00:13:09,706
MARY:
Leave that tin can...
314
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:10,925
It's not like we haven't
315
00:13:10,969 --> 00:13:12,840
heard them fight before.Just keep moving.
316
00:13:12,884 --> 00:13:15,887
Are we sleeping there?
Do I need to bring pajamas?
317
00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:17,497
Just sleep in
your underwear.
318
00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:18,933
In my underwear?
319
00:13:18,977 --> 00:13:20,326
I hardly think so.
320
00:13:20,369 --> 00:13:22,328
Wait, I forgot something.
321
00:13:22,371 --> 00:13:23,459
MARY: Just so you know, you're
sleeping out here tonight.
322
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,853
Perfect, then I won't
have to move.
323
00:13:25,897 --> 00:13:29,117
I just want to thank you
for a lovely dinner.
324
00:13:30,597 --> 00:13:32,991
["Crazy About Oklahoma"
by Jimmy Reed playing]
325
00:13:33,034 --> 00:13:38,257
♪ I'm crazy about Oklahoma,
baby ♪
326
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:42,522
♪ Texas so doggone big,
oh yes it is... ♪
327
00:13:42,565 --> 00:13:45,742
[engine roars]
328
00:13:45,786 --> 00:13:49,746
♪ Honey, I'm crazy
about Oklahoma ♪
329
00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:51,574
♪ You know Texas
so doggone big... ♪
330
00:13:51,618 --> 00:13:53,533
[engine sputters, blows]
331
00:13:56,405 --> 00:14:00,453
♪ Oklahoma got all the oil
332
00:14:00,496 --> 00:14:02,455
[honks horn]
333
00:14:02,498 --> 00:14:04,761
♪ Texas got the money... Come on!
334
00:14:04,805 --> 00:14:07,373
Good.
335
00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:08,765
GEORGE SR:
Come on!
336
00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:15,493
You kids excited
to go back to school?
337
00:14:15,537 --> 00:14:16,842
Of course I am.
338
00:14:16,886 --> 00:14:18,322
He doesn't speak for me.
339
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:20,890
What are you doing?
340
00:14:20,933 --> 00:14:21,934
Having coffee.
341
00:14:21,978 --> 00:14:23,806
Uh, no, not in my house.
342
00:14:23,849 --> 00:14:25,851
Oh, come on,
the best part of waking up
343
00:14:25,895 --> 00:14:26,765
is Folgers in your cup.
344
00:14:26,809 --> 00:14:28,245
Put it down.
345
00:14:28,288 --> 00:14:30,987
I can't drink coffee,
346
00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:33,293
I can't chew tobacco,
is there anything I can do?
347
00:14:33,337 --> 00:14:34,817
Yeah, quit talking.
348
00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:36,427
Where's Dad?
349
00:14:36,471 --> 00:14:39,212
He went to Oklahoma
for that job interview.
350
00:14:39,256 --> 00:14:41,040
I thought you put your
foot down on that one.
351
00:14:41,084 --> 00:14:42,999
Just keep eating your breakfast.
352
00:14:43,042 --> 00:14:44,870
You really think
we might move there?
353
00:14:44,914 --> 00:14:46,829
[sighs]
354
00:14:46,872 --> 00:14:49,658
I don't know what to think.
355
00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:54,706
TAM: Spending
the Thanksgiving weekend
356
00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:56,491
working in my family's
convenience store,
357
00:14:56,534 --> 00:14:58,971
I observed my father
and mother working
358
00:14:59,015 --> 00:15:01,626
from 6:00 in the morning
till 10:00 at night.
359
00:15:01,670 --> 00:15:04,107
My hypothesis was that
economic advancement
360
00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:07,197
for immigrant families is more
important than celebrating
361
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,417
a holiday where people eat
until they pass out
362
00:15:09,460 --> 00:15:11,244
in front of the TV.
363
00:15:11,288 --> 00:15:12,681
All right, Tam.
364
00:15:12,724 --> 00:15:15,118
Well, based on your
observations and hypothesis,
365
00:15:15,161 --> 00:15:16,859
were you able to
make a prediction?
366
00:15:16,902 --> 00:15:20,166
Yes. At some point,
my father would die
367
00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,994
prematurely from stress.
368
00:15:22,038 --> 00:15:23,822
And my mother
will come live with me,
369
00:15:23,866 --> 00:15:25,389
where she will
constantly disapprove
370
00:15:25,433 --> 00:15:29,219
of my hot, blonde,
American wife.
371
00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:35,617
Okay. Uh, I think we all
learned something there.
372
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:36,879
Uh, thank you, Tam.
373
00:15:36,922 --> 00:15:38,837
Uh, Mr. Cooper,
you're up.
374
00:15:42,362 --> 00:15:44,452
[clears throat]
375
00:15:44,495 --> 00:15:47,542
Beginning on Wednesday night,
I observed my parents
376
00:15:47,585 --> 00:15:51,197
arguing over the possibility
of us moving to Tulsa, Oklahoma.
377
00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,635
Ugh, Oklahoma.
378
00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:55,941
The argument escalated
and then my father stormed out
379
00:15:55,985 --> 00:15:59,597
and bought a Fiero.
380
00:15:59,641 --> 00:16:01,251
[voice breaking]:
And then I went to my Meemaw's
381
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,035
and slept in my underwear!
382
00:16:03,079 --> 00:16:05,298
[sobbing]
383
00:16:05,342 --> 00:16:06,474
[door opens]
384
00:16:06,517 --> 00:16:09,912
That's it; I've wasted my life.
385
00:16:09,955 --> 00:16:12,567
[music plays quietly on radio]
386
00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:16,005
You want to tell
me what happened?
387
00:16:16,048 --> 00:16:17,963
Instead of remaining
a neutral observer,
388
00:16:18,007 --> 00:16:20,879
I got emotional in front
of the whole class.
389
00:16:20,923 --> 00:16:21,967
Well, that's
not a big deal.
390
00:16:22,011 --> 00:16:24,361
Yes, it is; I'm a scientist.
391
00:16:24,404 --> 00:16:26,885
You never hear about Newton
crying like a baby
392
00:16:26,929 --> 00:16:28,974
when he got brutalized
by an apple.
393
00:16:29,018 --> 00:16:31,063
I think you're being
a little tough on yourself.
394
00:16:31,107 --> 00:16:34,937
I wonder why this
is affecting me so much.
395
00:16:34,980 --> 00:16:38,375
Well, maybe it has something
to do with your parents arguing.
396
00:16:38,418 --> 00:16:41,030
Us moving? I don't think so.
397
00:16:41,073 --> 00:16:43,598
Texas, Oklahoma...
what's the difference?
398
00:16:43,641 --> 00:16:46,122
Hey, now, I think you
might want to crack open
399
00:16:46,165 --> 00:16:50,082
your psychology textbook
'cause that there is crazy talk.
400
00:16:50,126 --> 00:16:53,738
I did read a chapter
on repressing emotions.
401
00:16:53,782 --> 00:16:56,480
I suppose I could've been
doing that to avoid dealing
402
00:16:56,524 --> 00:16:58,134
with the fear of change,
403
00:16:58,177 --> 00:17:01,050
and moving would certainly
be a big change.
404
00:17:01,093 --> 00:17:03,574
That's very astute.I'd have a new room,
405
00:17:03,618 --> 00:17:05,533
in a new house,
406
00:17:05,576 --> 00:17:08,100
and the new house would probably
have a different smell,
407
00:17:08,144 --> 00:17:09,928
and I probably
wouldn't like that smell
408
00:17:09,972 --> 00:17:11,713
because I don't like new smells,
409
00:17:11,756 --> 00:17:14,890
and I'd be going to a new school
with new kids and new teachers,
410
00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:16,631
and I bet they'd all
smell different, as well.
411
00:17:16,674 --> 00:17:17,980
Okay, now calm down.
412
00:17:18,023 --> 00:17:19,416
That's easy for you to say.
413
00:17:19,459 --> 00:17:22,027
Your olfactory senses
aren't about to be assaulted
414
00:17:22,071 --> 00:17:23,463
by the state of Oklahoma.
415
00:17:23,507 --> 00:17:25,553
Okay, let's try
a different approach.
416
00:17:25,596 --> 00:17:28,164
Can I take you
to get some ice cream?
417
00:17:28,207 --> 00:17:30,993
I'm having an emotional
crisis, Meemaw!
418
00:17:31,036 --> 00:17:32,995
You can't fix that
with ice cream.
419
00:17:33,038 --> 00:17:35,606
Right. Sorry.
420
00:17:38,261 --> 00:17:40,002
You want to go
to Radio Shack?
421
00:17:40,045 --> 00:17:42,657
Yes, I want to go
to Radio Shack!
422
00:17:46,878 --> 00:17:50,186
Well, sir, that's the tour.
423
00:17:50,229 --> 00:17:53,232
What do you think,
nicer than East Texas?
424
00:17:53,276 --> 00:17:55,060
[chuckles] Very impressive.
425
00:17:55,104 --> 00:17:56,671
Not sure how
you did it,
426
00:17:56,714 --> 00:17:59,412
but that is the least disgusting
locker room I've ever been in.
427
00:17:59,456 --> 00:18:00,500
Yes, sir.
428
00:18:00,544 --> 00:18:02,241
Every bit of it's
brand, spanking new.
429
00:18:02,285 --> 00:18:04,896
I bet if you had to, you could
even eat lunch in there.
430
00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:07,986
[laughs] So what
do you say, George?
431
00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:10,075
I could sure use a man
with your track record
432
00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,687
to coach special teams. Please.
433
00:18:12,730 --> 00:18:16,734
Thank you. I got to say,
I'm real tempted.
434
00:18:16,778 --> 00:18:18,823
How does the family feel
about relocating?
435
00:18:18,867 --> 00:18:22,871
Oh, they're all pretty excited
about the opportunity.
436
00:18:22,914 --> 00:18:25,613
The kids see it as an adventure.
437
00:18:25,656 --> 00:18:29,965
So why am I feeling like
you got some hesitation?
438
00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:31,227
If it's about the money,
439
00:18:31,270 --> 00:18:33,055
I believe I can get you
some more money.
440
00:18:33,098 --> 00:18:35,927
No, no, no, the money's good.
441
00:18:35,971 --> 00:18:38,103
Well, that's it, then.
You're gonna fit in perfectly
442
00:18:38,147 --> 00:18:39,496
with our program here.
443
00:18:39,539 --> 00:18:41,498
We got a lovely little house
for you and your family,
444
00:18:41,541 --> 00:18:42,804
and best of all,
445
00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:45,110
you're gonna be out of Texas.
[laughs]
446
00:18:45,154 --> 00:18:47,460
I thought you started out
in Houston?
447
00:18:47,504 --> 00:18:51,160
Shh. I'm trying
to fit in around here.
448
00:18:51,203 --> 00:18:54,206
[both laugh]
449
00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,121
So we have a deal?
450
00:18:56,165 --> 00:18:59,603
[sighs]
451
00:19:21,799 --> 00:19:23,148
What happened?
452
00:19:26,021 --> 00:19:27,979
Can I take my coat off?
453
00:19:28,023 --> 00:19:29,328
No. What happened?
454
00:19:29,372 --> 00:19:32,375
[sighs] I turned it down.
455
00:19:32,418 --> 00:19:33,463
Why?
456
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,639
'Cause you're
afraid of Mom?
457
00:19:35,683 --> 00:19:38,120
'Cause I don't want to live
in Oklahoma.
458
00:19:38,163 --> 00:19:39,208
George.
459
00:19:39,251 --> 00:19:41,297
What difference
does it make, Mare?
460
00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:42,298
We're not moving.
461
00:19:45,127 --> 00:19:47,346
ADULT SHELDON: As a child,
I never understood
462
00:19:47,390 --> 00:19:50,698
the sacrifices my father made
for his family's happiness,
463
00:19:50,741 --> 00:19:52,961
which made me somewhat
less compassionate
464
00:19:53,004 --> 00:19:54,005
than I should've been.
465
00:19:54,049 --> 00:19:55,703
SHELDON:
Yay! We're not moving!
466
00:19:55,746 --> 00:19:57,443
MISSY:
We're staying in Texas!
467
00:19:57,487 --> 00:19:59,489
[all cheering, laughing]
468
00:20:02,731 --> 00:20:06,605
MEEMAW: John? STURGIS: Yes?
469
00:20:06,648 --> 00:20:11,261
Could we do it
just one more time?
470
00:20:11,305 --> 00:20:14,482
Really? I don't want you
to get tired of it.
471
00:20:14,526 --> 00:20:19,226
I won't. Please?
472
00:20:19,269 --> 00:20:21,837
Well, I can't say no to you.
473
00:20:21,881 --> 00:20:24,100
[both chuckle]
474
00:20:24,144 --> 00:20:26,886
Fire in the hole.
475
00:20:27,887 --> 00:20:31,107
[laughs] Unbelievable.
476
00:20:32,544 --> 00:20:35,372
Again, again.
34311
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