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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,504 ADULT SHELDON: In tenth grade, high school students 2 00:00:02,547 --> 00:00:05,332 are presented with picking a class of their own choosing. 3 00:00:05,376 --> 00:00:08,161 This is called an elective. 4 00:00:08,205 --> 00:00:10,860 Courses on offer included wood shop... 5 00:00:10,903 --> 00:00:12,949 I'm happy with ten fingers, thank you. 6 00:00:12,992 --> 00:00:15,560 Introduction to agriculture... 7 00:00:15,604 --> 00:00:17,519 I think you know the answer to that. 8 00:00:17,562 --> 00:00:19,085 [moos] Wrestling... 9 00:00:20,391 --> 00:00:21,958 I'd rather milk that cow. 10 00:00:22,001 --> 00:00:25,439 All of which led me to the elective I reluctantly chose... 11 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:28,573 Psychology 101, an investigation 12 00:00:28,617 --> 00:00:32,577 into why people think and feel the way they do. Ugh. 13 00:00:32,621 --> 00:00:33,752 MR. GIVENS: All right, 14 00:00:33,796 --> 00:00:35,449 with Thanksgiving weekend approaching, 15 00:00:35,493 --> 00:00:36,973 it's the perfect opportunity to observe 16 00:00:37,016 --> 00:00:40,629 family dynamics and how our parents, relatives 17 00:00:40,672 --> 00:00:41,847 and siblings affect us. 18 00:00:41,891 --> 00:00:42,979 Now, the... 19 00:00:43,022 --> 00:00:44,850 Yes, Sheldon. 20 00:00:44,894 --> 00:00:46,765 I don't find that interesting. 21 00:00:46,809 --> 00:00:48,550 Well, tough knuckles, that's the assignment. 22 00:00:48,593 --> 00:00:51,683 Now, you'll all be expected to collect data on your family, 23 00:00:51,727 --> 00:00:54,207 form a hypothesis, and make a prediction. 24 00:00:54,251 --> 00:00:56,906 So you're giving us homework for Thanksgiving? 25 00:00:56,949 --> 00:00:58,908 Yes. 26 00:00:58,951 --> 00:01:01,040 Oh, boy! 27 00:01:02,215 --> 00:01:05,088 ♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪ 28 00:01:05,131 --> 00:01:07,873 ♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain 29 00:01:07,917 --> 00:01:10,615 ♪ I bet I could be your hero 30 00:01:10,659 --> 00:01:12,791 ♪ I am a mighty little man 31 00:01:12,835 --> 00:01:17,100 ♪ I am a mighty little man.♪ 32 00:01:22,018 --> 00:01:24,716 Hey, listen, something came up today 33 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:26,979 that we need to talk about. What's that? 34 00:01:27,023 --> 00:01:29,895 I maybe have a shot at a better job. 35 00:01:29,939 --> 00:01:33,725 Oh, George, they're finally gonna make you head coach? 36 00:01:33,769 --> 00:01:34,987 Better than that. 37 00:01:35,031 --> 00:01:37,555 Special Teams Coach, University of Tulsa. 38 00:01:37,599 --> 00:01:39,513 In Oklahoma? 39 00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:41,864 That is where they're keeping Tulsa these days. 40 00:01:41,907 --> 00:01:43,474 No need to be lippy. 41 00:01:43,517 --> 00:01:45,911 You're not seriously thinking about moving 42 00:01:45,955 --> 00:01:48,522 this whole family to Oklahoma, are you? 43 00:01:48,566 --> 00:01:50,829 GEORGE SR.: It's 400 miles away, I wasn't gonna commute. 44 00:01:50,873 --> 00:01:52,222 MARY: Well, that's not gonna work. 45 00:01:52,265 --> 00:01:55,660 The kids are all settled in with school and friends, 46 00:01:55,704 --> 00:01:57,357 and I've got my job at the church, 47 00:01:57,401 --> 00:01:58,750 and then there's Mom. 48 00:01:58,794 --> 00:02:00,665 Am I supposed to just walk away from her? 49 00:02:00,709 --> 00:02:02,493 GEORGE SR.: No, what you're supposed to do 50 00:02:02,536 --> 00:02:04,538 is support my efforts to improve our life. 51 00:02:12,285 --> 00:02:14,113 Notes for psychology paper. 52 00:02:14,157 --> 00:02:15,332 What you doing? 53 00:02:15,375 --> 00:02:18,117 Shh. Family conflict has been observed. 54 00:02:18,161 --> 00:02:21,991 Subject M and Subject D have opposing views on relocating. 55 00:02:22,034 --> 00:02:25,690 You better not be recording over my Janet Jackson tape. 56 00:02:25,734 --> 00:02:27,344 Would you please? 57 00:02:27,387 --> 00:02:29,215 Who's Subject M and Subject D? 58 00:02:29,259 --> 00:02:31,827 I can't tell you that, you might skew the results. 59 00:02:31,870 --> 00:02:34,699 Okay, then tell me what skew means. 60 00:02:34,743 --> 00:02:36,788 Are you going to talk the whole time? 61 00:02:36,832 --> 00:02:39,965 It seems to be annoying you, so, yeah. 62 00:02:44,491 --> 00:02:47,886 Mary, I just can't thank you enough for inviting me today. 63 00:02:47,930 --> 00:02:51,063 You're very welcome, John. Love having you here. 64 00:02:51,107 --> 00:02:54,719 Last Thanksgiving, I just sat in my apartment all by myself 65 00:02:54,763 --> 00:02:56,765 and ate a turkey sandwich. 66 00:02:56,808 --> 00:02:58,244 That is so sad. 67 00:02:58,288 --> 00:03:00,377 Well, it wasn't at the time, 68 00:03:00,420 --> 00:03:02,596 but now that I have something to compare it to, 69 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,164 I realize what a pathetic loser I was. 70 00:03:05,208 --> 00:03:07,558 You were never a loser. 71 00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:09,821 Yeah, you were. 72 00:03:09,865 --> 00:03:12,084 Hey, Georgie, 73 00:03:12,128 --> 00:03:14,478 you have any sentimental attachment to this town? 74 00:03:14,521 --> 00:03:16,915 I don't know, why?I'm just curious if, 75 00:03:16,959 --> 00:03:19,091 you know, we ever did pick up and live somewhere else, 76 00:03:19,135 --> 00:03:20,353 how you'd feel about it. 77 00:03:21,833 --> 00:03:23,661 Well, if it was Hawaii, I'd feel pretty great. 78 00:03:23,705 --> 00:03:24,967 That's where they make Magnum, P.I. 79 00:03:25,010 --> 00:03:27,621 I don't think Hawaii's in the cards. 80 00:03:27,665 --> 00:03:28,927 How about Miami? 81 00:03:28,971 --> 00:03:30,842 Let me guess, 'cause of Miami Vice? 82 00:03:30,886 --> 00:03:32,583 Golden Girls. 83 00:03:32,626 --> 00:03:34,106 Course. 84 00:03:34,150 --> 00:03:35,368 Car. 85 00:03:36,761 --> 00:03:38,197 I saw this one 86 00:03:38,241 --> 00:03:39,895 where Blanche dates this little guy 87 00:03:39,938 --> 00:03:43,899 who breaks up with her 'cause she's not Jewish. So good. 88 00:03:43,942 --> 00:03:47,554 Forget about Miami and Hawaii and Blanche. 89 00:03:47,598 --> 00:03:50,340 I mean, how do you feel about not staying in Medford forever? 90 00:03:50,383 --> 00:03:52,211 Well, I guess I'd be okay with it. 91 00:03:52,255 --> 00:03:54,039 All right. 92 00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:55,693 Good to know. 93 00:03:55,737 --> 00:03:58,740 Subject D is attempting to influence Subject G 94 00:03:58,783 --> 00:03:59,958 regarding relocating. 95 00:04:00,002 --> 00:04:01,264 What about you, Sheldon? 96 00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:04,006 What about me what? 97 00:04:04,049 --> 00:04:06,051 Could you ever see yourself leaving Medford? 98 00:04:07,531 --> 00:04:09,925 I'm sorry, Dad, but I'm unable to express 99 00:04:09,968 --> 00:04:11,622 an opinion at this time. 100 00:04:11,665 --> 00:04:12,710 Why not? 101 00:04:12,754 --> 00:04:14,320 In the interest of science, 102 00:04:14,364 --> 00:04:16,453 I have to remain a neutral observer. 103 00:04:16,496 --> 00:04:19,891 Glad I asked. 104 00:04:19,935 --> 00:04:22,633 Hey, fellows, may I join? 105 00:04:22,676 --> 00:04:25,244 Sure. Here you go. 106 00:04:27,072 --> 00:04:28,508 GEORGE JR.: Dang, nice catch. 107 00:04:30,859 --> 00:04:33,078 SHELDON: Car. 108 00:04:35,254 --> 00:04:37,126 Listen, I'm gonna need your help with something. 109 00:04:37,169 --> 00:04:38,954 Is it about money? No. 110 00:04:38,997 --> 00:04:41,260 Then I'm your gal. What's up? 111 00:04:41,304 --> 00:04:44,350 George is up for a coaching job at the University of Tulsa. 112 00:04:44,394 --> 00:04:46,875 Tulsa? Ugh. 113 00:04:46,918 --> 00:04:49,921 Last year, I lost $800 on that damn team. 114 00:04:49,965 --> 00:04:51,836 I'm sorry to hear that. 115 00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:53,838 I'm fine with most of the Division I stuff, 116 00:04:53,882 --> 00:04:56,188 but these independent teams, 117 00:04:56,232 --> 00:04:58,930 I j-- I just can't seem to get a handle on it. 118 00:04:58,974 --> 00:05:02,064 You think if George got that job he might give me an inside line? 119 00:05:02,107 --> 00:05:03,456 Mom. 120 00:05:03,500 --> 00:05:04,980 Well, I'd cut him in, 121 00:05:05,023 --> 00:05:06,764 make it look like a Christmas present. 122 00:05:06,808 --> 00:05:08,113 Would you please listen to me? 123 00:05:08,157 --> 00:05:09,462 If we move up there, 124 00:05:09,506 --> 00:05:11,160 other than holidays, 125 00:05:11,203 --> 00:05:13,031 you're not gonna see your grandkids. 126 00:05:13,075 --> 00:05:15,860 Oh, that's a point. 127 00:05:15,904 --> 00:05:19,081 You make it sound like a Sophie's Choicekind of deal. 128 00:05:19,124 --> 00:05:22,388 During dinner, maybe you could express 129 00:05:22,432 --> 00:05:25,914 how devastating it would be to be away from the kids. 130 00:05:25,957 --> 00:05:28,786 Well, I don't think I'd use the word "devastating." 131 00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:29,961 That doesn't sound like me. 132 00:05:30,005 --> 00:05:32,964 Okay, well, use whatever word you want. 133 00:05:33,008 --> 00:05:36,968 I might use... "heartbroken." 134 00:05:37,012 --> 00:05:38,970 Good, use that. 135 00:05:39,014 --> 00:05:41,668 Yeah, maybe. Have you got a thesaurus? 136 00:05:46,543 --> 00:05:48,066 Oh, dear. 137 00:05:48,110 --> 00:05:50,199 Don't be scared, Sheldon, it's just a parade. 138 00:05:50,242 --> 00:05:51,983 I already don't like dogs. 139 00:05:52,027 --> 00:05:54,159 Gigantic and floating does not help. 140 00:05:54,203 --> 00:05:57,075 Hey, how's the parade?MISSY: Great. 141 00:05:57,119 --> 00:05:58,990 Alf is one of the hosts. 142 00:05:59,034 --> 00:06:02,994 Alf, cool. Hey, so listen, 143 00:06:03,038 --> 00:06:05,518 how attached are you to living here in Medford? 144 00:06:05,562 --> 00:06:06,868 I don't know what that means. 145 00:06:06,911 --> 00:06:08,347 If we moved away, 146 00:06:08,391 --> 00:06:11,437 do you have really good friends that you'd miss a lot? 147 00:06:11,481 --> 00:06:12,917 I have really good friends, 148 00:06:12,961 --> 00:06:14,701 but I think they would mostly miss me. 149 00:06:14,745 --> 00:06:16,529 'Cause you make friends wherever you go. 150 00:06:16,573 --> 00:06:18,618 I do. People are drawn to me. 151 00:06:18,662 --> 00:06:19,750 Ugh. 152 00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:23,058 Sorry, I'm neutral. 153 00:06:24,711 --> 00:06:25,930 Okay, so what I'm hearing is that 154 00:06:25,974 --> 00:06:27,889 you'd be happy no matter where we lived. 155 00:06:27,932 --> 00:06:30,108 I guess. Dad, please, I'm trying to watch TV. 156 00:06:30,152 --> 00:06:33,590 Sorry. I'll leave you to it. 157 00:06:38,595 --> 00:06:40,814 Oh dear, Big Bird. 158 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,283 You're making a sandwich? 159 00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,024 I'm a creature of habit. 160 00:06:51,067 --> 00:06:52,286 [chuckles] 161 00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,027 Hey, why don't we all go around the table 162 00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:56,029 and say what we're thankful for? 163 00:06:56,072 --> 00:06:57,683 Come on, really? 164 00:06:57,726 --> 00:06:59,075 Yes, really. 165 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:00,468 I'll start. 166 00:07:00,512 --> 00:07:04,037 I'm thankful to be surrounded by my loving family. 167 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:05,865 What about that guy? 168 00:07:05,908 --> 00:07:07,693 That guy-- Dr. Sturgis-- 169 00:07:07,736 --> 00:07:09,608 is part of our extended family. 170 00:07:09,651 --> 00:07:11,218 Mm, thank you. 171 00:07:11,261 --> 00:07:15,178 And I'm also thankful for this warm and comfy home 172 00:07:15,222 --> 00:07:18,094 that God has blessed us with and this great neighborhood 173 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,009 with my mom living 174 00:07:20,053 --> 00:07:21,184 right across the street, 175 00:07:21,228 --> 00:07:24,187 and of course our excellent 176 00:07:24,231 --> 00:07:26,668 school system that provides our children 177 00:07:26,712 --> 00:07:28,888 with a world-class education. 178 00:07:28,931 --> 00:07:30,846 Missy? 179 00:07:30,890 --> 00:07:33,545 I'm thankful that there's two different Ghostbustercartoons. 180 00:07:33,588 --> 00:07:34,850 That's it? 181 00:07:34,894 --> 00:07:36,635 Unless you know about a third one. 182 00:07:36,678 --> 00:07:39,202 Okay, my turn. [chuckles] 183 00:07:39,246 --> 00:07:42,510 Um, I am so thankful to be able to watch 184 00:07:42,554 --> 00:07:43,946 my grandchildren grow up. 185 00:07:43,990 --> 00:07:45,905 And I can't even tell you 186 00:07:45,948 --> 00:07:47,428 how much it means to me 187 00:07:47,472 --> 00:07:49,996 that y'all live right across the street. 188 00:07:50,039 --> 00:07:51,998 And if y'all weren't, 189 00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:55,262 I would just be... heartbroken. 190 00:07:57,569 --> 00:07:59,745 And not just heartbroken-- 191 00:07:59,788 --> 00:08:03,009 crestfallen and chagrined. 192 00:08:03,052 --> 00:08:04,750 And, uh, 193 00:08:04,793 --> 00:08:06,186 I'm also thankful for my health, 194 00:08:06,229 --> 00:08:08,841 that that mole on my hip turned out to be nothing, 195 00:08:08,884 --> 00:08:10,320 and, uh, 196 00:08:10,364 --> 00:08:12,192 I'm very thankful for John here, 197 00:08:12,235 --> 00:08:13,889 who has 198 00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:16,631 brought so much happiness to me. 199 00:08:16,675 --> 00:08:18,111 [chuckles] 200 00:08:18,154 --> 00:08:20,983 That's it for me. 201 00:08:21,027 --> 00:08:23,769 STURGIS: Oh, my. Aw, lovely, Mom. 202 00:08:23,812 --> 00:08:25,379 Oh, my, I don't know where to begin. 203 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:29,644 Well, first of all, I'm thankful to you, Connie, 204 00:08:29,688 --> 00:08:34,127 for how you make me laugh, make me feel cared for, 205 00:08:34,170 --> 00:08:37,217 all the ways you're affectionate to me 206 00:08:37,260 --> 00:08:40,699 that I can't discuss in-in front of children 207 00:08:40,742 --> 00:08:43,223 because that would be inappropriate, right? 208 00:08:43,266 --> 00:08:44,267 Right. 209 00:08:45,181 --> 00:08:47,575 And I'm thankful to be here 210 00:08:47,619 --> 00:08:50,143 with your wonderful family. 211 00:08:50,186 --> 00:08:54,277 This is something I didn't experience growing up. 212 00:08:54,321 --> 00:08:58,499 See, my father was away a great deal on business 213 00:08:58,543 --> 00:09:01,415 and it was just me and my mother 214 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,940 and she was a cold and distant woman 215 00:09:04,984 --> 00:09:08,814 who blamed the world for her club foot. 216 00:09:08,857 --> 00:09:10,250 Sweetie. And I... 217 00:09:10,293 --> 00:09:11,468 Wrap it up. 218 00:09:11,512 --> 00:09:13,470 Sorry. 219 00:09:13,514 --> 00:09:15,690 My gratitude knows no bounds. 220 00:09:15,734 --> 00:09:17,997 Thank you. Georgie? 221 00:09:19,041 --> 00:09:21,130 Um, I'm thankful for my job 222 00:09:21,174 --> 00:09:22,915 at the auto shop. 223 00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:25,700 Uh, let's see... 224 00:09:25,744 --> 00:09:28,094 Oh, Alyssa Milano from Who's the Boss? 225 00:09:28,137 --> 00:09:32,272 She's really hot. Mm... That's about it. 226 00:09:32,315 --> 00:09:35,057 That's wonderful. Shelly? 227 00:09:35,101 --> 00:09:37,103 I'm sorry, Mom, but if I answer that question, 228 00:09:37,146 --> 00:09:39,366 I'd be violating my experimental protocol. 229 00:09:39,409 --> 00:09:42,369 Okay, moving on. George? 230 00:09:42,412 --> 00:09:43,762 Well... [clears throat] 231 00:09:43,805 --> 00:09:45,502 I'm thankful to share Thanksgiving dinner 232 00:09:45,546 --> 00:09:47,548 with my family, of course. 233 00:09:47,592 --> 00:09:49,724 I'm also thankful for this fine country we live in 234 00:09:49,768 --> 00:09:52,161 and all the opportunities it provides us. 235 00:09:52,205 --> 00:09:53,859 Especially when those opportunities 236 00:09:53,902 --> 00:09:56,775 come once in a lifetime and require taking a small risk 237 00:09:56,818 --> 00:09:59,168 and believing in one another. 238 00:09:59,212 --> 00:10:01,693 We're really gonna do this now? 239 00:10:01,736 --> 00:10:04,957 Hey, you started it with all that school system crap. 240 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:07,350 I only did that because you've been 241 00:10:07,394 --> 00:10:09,178 trying to twist the kids' heads around. 242 00:10:09,222 --> 00:10:11,006 All right, who talked? 243 00:10:11,050 --> 00:10:13,095 Who do you think? Missy. 244 00:10:13,139 --> 00:10:14,531 Yup. 245 00:10:14,575 --> 00:10:17,186 Well, it doesn't matter because you obviously 246 00:10:17,230 --> 00:10:19,711 went to your mother and made her your stalking horse. 247 00:10:19,754 --> 00:10:21,147 Of course she went to me. 248 00:10:21,190 --> 00:10:23,889 Move to Oklahoma, what's wrong with you? 249 00:10:23,932 --> 00:10:25,542 Wait, we're moving to Oklahoma? 250 00:10:25,586 --> 00:10:27,936 I thought Texans don't like Oklahoma. 251 00:10:27,980 --> 00:10:29,329 You're damn right we don't. 252 00:10:29,372 --> 00:10:31,244 What's wrong with Oklahoma?I'll tell you later. 253 00:10:31,287 --> 00:10:33,681 Okay, that's enough of this. Nobody's moving anywhere. 254 00:10:33,725 --> 00:10:36,249 Let's just have a nice, quiet dinner. 255 00:10:36,292 --> 00:10:39,731 That's it? Y-You're gonna make the decision for me? 256 00:10:39,774 --> 00:10:41,341 I'm making a decision for us. 257 00:10:41,384 --> 00:10:43,343 All right, then. 258 00:10:43,386 --> 00:10:44,692 Where are you going? 259 00:10:44,736 --> 00:10:46,085 George. 260 00:10:46,128 --> 00:10:47,347 George! 261 00:10:55,877 --> 00:10:57,836 ADULT SHELDON: As we sat in silence, 262 00:10:57,879 --> 00:11:00,055 I had a horrible realization. 263 00:11:00,099 --> 00:11:01,970 For the first time in my life, 264 00:11:02,014 --> 00:11:05,408 I didn't look forward to doing my homework. 265 00:11:05,452 --> 00:11:07,454 [sobbing] 266 00:11:12,285 --> 00:11:15,462 [television announcer speaking indistinctly] 267 00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:17,203 Just watch the TV. 268 00:11:17,246 --> 00:11:19,248 [television volume increases] 269 00:11:21,294 --> 00:11:23,339 ANNOUNCER: Second down, nine... 270 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,385 [birds twittering] 271 00:11:32,392 --> 00:11:34,960 Difficult day. 272 00:11:35,003 --> 00:11:36,352 Yes. 273 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:40,226 Psychology? Is that a new interest of yours? 274 00:11:40,269 --> 00:11:43,229 It was either this or milking cows. Oh. 275 00:11:43,272 --> 00:11:46,362 I once was licked by a cow. 276 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,799 You made the right choice. 277 00:11:47,842 --> 00:11:49,278 I'm not so sure. 278 00:11:49,322 --> 00:11:50,889 Why is that? 279 00:11:50,932 --> 00:11:54,240 Well, I was supposed to observe family dynamics 280 00:11:54,283 --> 00:11:56,721 over Thanksgiving for my hypothesis, 281 00:11:56,764 --> 00:11:57,765 then make a prediction. 282 00:11:57,809 --> 00:12:00,812 Oh. All right. 283 00:12:00,855 --> 00:12:03,249 So, um, what did you observe? 284 00:12:03,292 --> 00:12:06,382 My mom and dad arguing over moving to Oklahoma 285 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,557 for my dad's job. 286 00:12:07,601 --> 00:12:10,343 I would concur with that observation. 287 00:12:10,386 --> 00:12:14,173 Now, can you form a hypothesis based on that? 288 00:12:14,216 --> 00:12:18,090 Well, their marriage is a zero sum game. 289 00:12:18,133 --> 00:12:19,439 What's good for my father 290 00:12:19,482 --> 00:12:21,354 isn't good for my mother and vice versa. 291 00:12:21,397 --> 00:12:22,355 Excellent. 292 00:12:22,398 --> 00:12:24,009 And your prediction? 293 00:12:24,052 --> 00:12:26,272 Well, based on previous arguments 294 00:12:26,315 --> 00:12:28,317 I've observed, my father will try 295 00:12:28,361 --> 00:12:29,928 to reassert his dominance 296 00:12:29,971 --> 00:12:32,365 by making a meaningless symbolic gesture. 297 00:12:32,408 --> 00:12:35,237 Really? That seems a bit of a stretch. 298 00:12:35,281 --> 00:12:37,500 [car horn honks] 299 00:12:37,544 --> 00:12:39,502 ["Take It On the Run" by REO Speedwagon playing on car radio] 300 00:12:39,546 --> 00:12:41,287 ♪ You take it on the run, baby 301 00:12:41,330 --> 00:12:45,421 ♪ If that's the way you want it, baby ♪ 302 00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:48,424 ♪ Then I don't want you around... ♪ 303 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:52,254 I will never question you again. 304 00:12:52,298 --> 00:12:55,344 ♪ I don't believe it... 305 00:12:55,388 --> 00:12:57,303 [exhales sharply] 306 00:12:57,346 --> 00:12:58,783 MARY: Are you insane? 307 00:12:58,826 --> 00:13:00,523 We can't afford a Ferrari. 308 00:13:00,567 --> 00:13:02,090 GEORGE SR.: It's a Fiero. 309 00:13:02,134 --> 00:13:03,570 MARY: Ferrari, Fiero, same thing. 310 00:13:03,613 --> 00:13:05,137 GEORGE SR.: Not really. 311 00:13:05,180 --> 00:13:06,965 Now, do you mind? I'm trying to watch the game. 312 00:13:07,008 --> 00:13:08,314 Everybody's going to Meemaw's. Come on. 313 00:13:08,357 --> 00:13:09,706 MARY: Leave that tin can... 314 00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:10,925 It's not like we haven't 315 00:13:10,969 --> 00:13:12,840 heard them fight before.Just keep moving. 316 00:13:12,884 --> 00:13:15,887 Are we sleeping there? Do I need to bring pajamas? 317 00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:17,497 Just sleep in your underwear. 318 00:13:17,540 --> 00:13:18,933 In my underwear? 319 00:13:18,977 --> 00:13:20,326 I hardly think so. 320 00:13:20,369 --> 00:13:22,328 Wait, I forgot something. 321 00:13:22,371 --> 00:13:23,459 MARY: Just so you know, you're sleeping out here tonight. 322 00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,853 Perfect, then I won't have to move. 323 00:13:25,897 --> 00:13:29,117 I just want to thank you for a lovely dinner. 324 00:13:30,597 --> 00:13:32,991 ["Crazy About Oklahoma" by Jimmy Reed playing] 325 00:13:33,034 --> 00:13:38,257 ♪ I'm crazy about Oklahoma, baby ♪ 326 00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:42,522 ♪ Texas so doggone big, oh yes it is... ♪ 327 00:13:42,565 --> 00:13:45,742 [engine roars] 328 00:13:45,786 --> 00:13:49,746 ♪ Honey, I'm crazy about Oklahoma ♪ 329 00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:51,574 ♪ You know Texas so doggone big... ♪ 330 00:13:51,618 --> 00:13:53,533 [engine sputters, blows] 331 00:13:56,405 --> 00:14:00,453 ♪ Oklahoma got all the oil 332 00:14:00,496 --> 00:14:02,455 [honks horn] 333 00:14:02,498 --> 00:14:04,761 ♪ Texas got the money... Come on! 334 00:14:04,805 --> 00:14:07,373 Good. 335 00:14:07,416 --> 00:14:08,765 GEORGE SR: Come on! 336 00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:15,493 You kids excited to go back to school? 337 00:14:15,537 --> 00:14:16,842 Of course I am. 338 00:14:16,886 --> 00:14:18,322 He doesn't speak for me. 339 00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:20,890 What are you doing? 340 00:14:20,933 --> 00:14:21,934 Having coffee. 341 00:14:21,978 --> 00:14:23,806 Uh, no, not in my house. 342 00:14:23,849 --> 00:14:25,851 Oh, come on, the best part of waking up 343 00:14:25,895 --> 00:14:26,765 is Folgers in your cup. 344 00:14:26,809 --> 00:14:28,245 Put it down. 345 00:14:28,288 --> 00:14:30,987 I can't drink coffee, 346 00:14:31,030 --> 00:14:33,293 I can't chew tobacco, is there anything I can do? 347 00:14:33,337 --> 00:14:34,817 Yeah, quit talking. 348 00:14:34,860 --> 00:14:36,427 Where's Dad? 349 00:14:36,471 --> 00:14:39,212 He went to Oklahoma for that job interview. 350 00:14:39,256 --> 00:14:41,040 I thought you put your foot down on that one. 351 00:14:41,084 --> 00:14:42,999 Just keep eating your breakfast. 352 00:14:43,042 --> 00:14:44,870 You really think we might move there? 353 00:14:44,914 --> 00:14:46,829 [sighs] 354 00:14:46,872 --> 00:14:49,658 I don't know what to think. 355 00:14:53,183 --> 00:14:54,706 TAM: Spending the Thanksgiving weekend 356 00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:56,491 working in my family's convenience store, 357 00:14:56,534 --> 00:14:58,971 I observed my father and mother working 358 00:14:59,015 --> 00:15:01,626 from 6:00 in the morning till 10:00 at night. 359 00:15:01,670 --> 00:15:04,107 My hypothesis was that economic advancement 360 00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:07,197 for immigrant families is more important than celebrating 361 00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:09,417 a holiday where people eat until they pass out 362 00:15:09,460 --> 00:15:11,244 in front of the TV. 363 00:15:11,288 --> 00:15:12,681 All right, Tam. 364 00:15:12,724 --> 00:15:15,118 Well, based on your observations and hypothesis, 365 00:15:15,161 --> 00:15:16,859 were you able to make a prediction? 366 00:15:16,902 --> 00:15:20,166 Yes. At some point, my father would die 367 00:15:20,210 --> 00:15:21,994 prematurely from stress. 368 00:15:22,038 --> 00:15:23,822 And my mother will come live with me, 369 00:15:23,866 --> 00:15:25,389 where she will constantly disapprove 370 00:15:25,433 --> 00:15:29,219 of my hot, blonde, American wife. 371 00:15:31,090 --> 00:15:35,617 Okay. Uh, I think we all learned something there. 372 00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:36,879 Uh, thank you, Tam. 373 00:15:36,922 --> 00:15:38,837 Uh, Mr. Cooper, you're up. 374 00:15:42,362 --> 00:15:44,452 [clears throat] 375 00:15:44,495 --> 00:15:47,542 Beginning on Wednesday night, I observed my parents 376 00:15:47,585 --> 00:15:51,197 arguing over the possibility of us moving to Tulsa, Oklahoma. 377 00:15:51,241 --> 00:15:53,635 Ugh, Oklahoma. 378 00:15:53,678 --> 00:15:55,941 The argument escalated and then my father stormed out 379 00:15:55,985 --> 00:15:59,597 and bought a Fiero. 380 00:15:59,641 --> 00:16:01,251 [voice breaking]: And then I went to my Meemaw's 381 00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,035 and slept in my underwear! 382 00:16:03,079 --> 00:16:05,298 [sobbing] 383 00:16:05,342 --> 00:16:06,474 [door opens] 384 00:16:06,517 --> 00:16:09,912 That's it; I've wasted my life. 385 00:16:09,955 --> 00:16:12,567 [music plays quietly on radio] 386 00:16:12,610 --> 00:16:16,005 You want to tell me what happened? 387 00:16:16,048 --> 00:16:17,963 Instead of remaining a neutral observer, 388 00:16:18,007 --> 00:16:20,879 I got emotional in front of the whole class. 389 00:16:20,923 --> 00:16:21,967 Well, that's not a big deal. 390 00:16:22,011 --> 00:16:24,361 Yes, it is; I'm a scientist. 391 00:16:24,404 --> 00:16:26,885 You never hear about Newton crying like a baby 392 00:16:26,929 --> 00:16:28,974 when he got brutalized by an apple. 393 00:16:29,018 --> 00:16:31,063 I think you're being a little tough on yourself. 394 00:16:31,107 --> 00:16:34,937 I wonder why this is affecting me so much. 395 00:16:34,980 --> 00:16:38,375 Well, maybe it has something to do with your parents arguing. 396 00:16:38,418 --> 00:16:41,030 Us moving? I don't think so. 397 00:16:41,073 --> 00:16:43,598 Texas, Oklahoma... what's the difference? 398 00:16:43,641 --> 00:16:46,122 Hey, now, I think you might want to crack open 399 00:16:46,165 --> 00:16:50,082 your psychology textbook 'cause that there is crazy talk. 400 00:16:50,126 --> 00:16:53,738 I did read a chapter on repressing emotions. 401 00:16:53,782 --> 00:16:56,480 I suppose I could've been doing that to avoid dealing 402 00:16:56,524 --> 00:16:58,134 with the fear of change, 403 00:16:58,177 --> 00:17:01,050 and moving would certainly be a big change. 404 00:17:01,093 --> 00:17:03,574 That's very astute.I'd have a new room, 405 00:17:03,618 --> 00:17:05,533 in a new house, 406 00:17:05,576 --> 00:17:08,100 and the new house would probably have a different smell, 407 00:17:08,144 --> 00:17:09,928 and I probably wouldn't like that smell 408 00:17:09,972 --> 00:17:11,713 because I don't like new smells, 409 00:17:11,756 --> 00:17:14,890 and I'd be going to a new school with new kids and new teachers, 410 00:17:14,933 --> 00:17:16,631 and I bet they'd all smell different, as well. 411 00:17:16,674 --> 00:17:17,980 Okay, now calm down. 412 00:17:18,023 --> 00:17:19,416 That's easy for you to say. 413 00:17:19,459 --> 00:17:22,027 Your olfactory senses aren't about to be assaulted 414 00:17:22,071 --> 00:17:23,463 by the state of Oklahoma. 415 00:17:23,507 --> 00:17:25,553 Okay, let's try a different approach. 416 00:17:25,596 --> 00:17:28,164 Can I take you to get some ice cream? 417 00:17:28,207 --> 00:17:30,993 I'm having an emotional crisis, Meemaw! 418 00:17:31,036 --> 00:17:32,995 You can't fix that with ice cream. 419 00:17:33,038 --> 00:17:35,606 Right. Sorry. 420 00:17:38,261 --> 00:17:40,002 You want to go to Radio Shack? 421 00:17:40,045 --> 00:17:42,657 Yes, I want to go to Radio Shack! 422 00:17:46,878 --> 00:17:50,186 Well, sir, that's the tour. 423 00:17:50,229 --> 00:17:53,232 What do you think, nicer than East Texas? 424 00:17:53,276 --> 00:17:55,060 [chuckles] Very impressive. 425 00:17:55,104 --> 00:17:56,671 Not sure how you did it, 426 00:17:56,714 --> 00:17:59,412 but that is the least disgusting locker room I've ever been in. 427 00:17:59,456 --> 00:18:00,500 Yes, sir. 428 00:18:00,544 --> 00:18:02,241 Every bit of it's brand, spanking new. 429 00:18:02,285 --> 00:18:04,896 I bet if you had to, you could even eat lunch in there. 430 00:18:04,940 --> 00:18:07,986 [laughs] So what do you say, George? 431 00:18:08,030 --> 00:18:10,075 I could sure use a man with your track record 432 00:18:10,119 --> 00:18:12,687 to coach special teams. Please. 433 00:18:12,730 --> 00:18:16,734 Thank you. I got to say, I'm real tempted. 434 00:18:16,778 --> 00:18:18,823 How does the family feel about relocating? 435 00:18:18,867 --> 00:18:22,871 Oh, they're all pretty excited about the opportunity. 436 00:18:22,914 --> 00:18:25,613 The kids see it as an adventure. 437 00:18:25,656 --> 00:18:29,965 So why am I feeling like you got some hesitation? 438 00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:31,227 If it's about the money, 439 00:18:31,270 --> 00:18:33,055 I believe I can get you some more money. 440 00:18:33,098 --> 00:18:35,927 No, no, no, the money's good. 441 00:18:35,971 --> 00:18:38,103 Well, that's it, then. You're gonna fit in perfectly 442 00:18:38,147 --> 00:18:39,496 with our program here. 443 00:18:39,539 --> 00:18:41,498 We got a lovely little house for you and your family, 444 00:18:41,541 --> 00:18:42,804 and best of all, 445 00:18:42,847 --> 00:18:45,110 you're gonna be out of Texas. [laughs] 446 00:18:45,154 --> 00:18:47,460 I thought you started out in Houston? 447 00:18:47,504 --> 00:18:51,160 Shh. I'm trying to fit in around here. 448 00:18:51,203 --> 00:18:54,206 [both laugh] 449 00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,121 So we have a deal? 450 00:18:56,165 --> 00:18:59,603 [sighs] 451 00:19:21,799 --> 00:19:23,148 What happened? 452 00:19:26,021 --> 00:19:27,979 Can I take my coat off? 453 00:19:28,023 --> 00:19:29,328 No. What happened? 454 00:19:29,372 --> 00:19:32,375 [sighs] I turned it down. 455 00:19:32,418 --> 00:19:33,463 Why? 456 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,639 'Cause you're afraid of Mom? 457 00:19:35,683 --> 00:19:38,120 'Cause I don't want to live in Oklahoma. 458 00:19:38,163 --> 00:19:39,208 George. 459 00:19:39,251 --> 00:19:41,297 What difference does it make, Mare? 460 00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:42,298 We're not moving. 461 00:19:45,127 --> 00:19:47,346 ADULT SHELDON: As a child, I never understood 462 00:19:47,390 --> 00:19:50,698 the sacrifices my father made for his family's happiness, 463 00:19:50,741 --> 00:19:52,961 which made me somewhat less compassionate 464 00:19:53,004 --> 00:19:54,005 than I should've been. 465 00:19:54,049 --> 00:19:55,703 SHELDON: Yay! We're not moving! 466 00:19:55,746 --> 00:19:57,443 MISSY: We're staying in Texas! 467 00:19:57,487 --> 00:19:59,489 [all cheering, laughing] 468 00:20:02,731 --> 00:20:06,605 MEEMAW: John? STURGIS: Yes? 469 00:20:06,648 --> 00:20:11,261 Could we do it just one more time? 470 00:20:11,305 --> 00:20:14,482 Really? I don't want you to get tired of it. 471 00:20:14,526 --> 00:20:19,226 I won't. Please? 472 00:20:19,269 --> 00:20:21,837 Well, I can't say no to you. 473 00:20:21,881 --> 00:20:24,100 [both chuckle] 474 00:20:24,144 --> 00:20:26,886 Fire in the hole. 475 00:20:27,887 --> 00:20:31,107 [laughs] Unbelievable. 476 00:20:32,544 --> 00:20:35,372 Again, again. 34311

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