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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,186 --> 00:00:02,101 NATHAN: Previously, on "Workin' Moms:" 2 00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:03,702 I think we need to talk about boundaries. 3 00:00:03,838 --> 00:00:05,737 What's the problem? You said you'd be there for me. 4 00:00:05,773 --> 00:00:07,873 Colleagues don't shove semen 5 00:00:08,009 --> 00:00:09,808 into other colleagues' vaginas, traditionally. 6 00:00:10,565 --> 00:00:12,877 You can't just put her in a car without a car seat! 7 00:00:12,913 --> 00:00:14,980 - I'm sorry, I didn't know. - You know, honestly, Sloane, 8 00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:17,082 I am not sure you're cut out to be a mother. 9 00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,917 (SHEET RUSTLES) 10 00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:21,253 It's a proposal of an expose about multi-level 11 00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:23,822 - marketing companies. - What, like pyramid schemes? 12 00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:25,690 Yeah, this shit's insidious. 13 00:00:27,928 --> 00:00:30,028 SLOANE: Ah! She's spittin' fire. 14 00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:32,297 These pyramid schemes are goin' down! 15 00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,300 - Is this a joke?! - It's called a pivot. 16 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,202 This is my kid that you're talking about, 17 00:00:37,204 --> 00:00:38,903 - this is my little... - Okay. Okay. 18 00:00:38,939 --> 00:00:40,672 Your book might actually sell now, 19 00:00:40,708 --> 00:00:42,240 - how about a thank you? - Fuck you. 20 00:00:44,445 --> 00:00:46,010 (CHILDREN LAUGH AND SHOUT) 21 00:00:46,047 --> 00:00:49,348 Welcome to the inaugural "Val's pals," everyone! 22 00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:51,550 I can't believe you dragged us back to "Mommy and me". 23 00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,285 No, no, no, this is not "Mommy and me". 24 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,687 This is Val's pals, TM. 25 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:58,624 The kids are free to join, but this is really about the pals. 26 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:01,226 Last I checked, I didn't have to pay for my pals. 27 00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,361 Yeah, Val, you've somehow monetized friendship. 28 00:01:03,363 --> 00:01:04,863 I'm a very good friend. 29 00:01:04,998 --> 00:01:06,365 - Yeah, I'm gonna go. - Yeah. 30 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:08,033 Look... no, wait! Here's something fun, 31 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,769 just for the pals... Husband swap, 32 00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,004 - who would you bangalang? - What? 33 00:01:12,063 --> 00:01:13,606 - I'm not gonna play this! - Lionel, right? 34 00:01:13,694 --> 00:01:15,776 - What the fuck did you just say?! - Okay, maybe I pushed a button there. 35 00:01:15,848 --> 00:01:19,043 - Yeah, this has been real. Thanks. - No wait! 36 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,013 I got you something! 37 00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:25,818 (SIGHS) Okay. 38 00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:28,487 What is this? 39 00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:30,856 It's an invitation to my birthday! 40 00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:32,524 It's the big one! 41 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,360 - An invitation to nothing? - Yeah, it's blank. (SCOFF) 42 00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:38,330 I was kinda hoping you two could plan something. 43 00:01:39,149 --> 00:01:41,785 - Ohhh! - Oh wow. 44 00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:44,102 It'd be nice. 45 00:01:44,105 --> 00:01:46,972 We were just-we were already uh, talking about it. 46 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,274 - Invite Lionel. - What the fuck?! 47 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:51,209 You gotta stop that. You gotta stop it. 48 00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:58,082 ??? 49 00:02:00,187 --> 00:02:01,586 ??? 50 00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,355 (DOOR SLAMS, ALARM BEEPS ON) 51 00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:06,558 - Hey! - Hey, you ready to relax, bitch? 52 00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,360 Oh! I really need this. 53 00:02:08,362 --> 00:02:10,762 I know, I wanna release the fuck out of some tension. 54 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:12,230 Hmm. Thank you for this. 55 00:02:12,299 --> 00:02:15,400 Helloooooo! ? It's my birthday ? 56 00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,103 - ? On the day I was born ? - How old is she even turning? 57 00:02:17,156 --> 00:02:19,071 I don't know, she said it was "the big one." 58 00:02:19,096 --> 00:02:21,707 - 40? - No dude, like, the big one! 59 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,642 50? Not 65? 60 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:25,444 - VAL: Hello, it's my birthday! - Huh? 61 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,179 BOTH: Happy birthday! 62 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:29,247 Oh, my very best friend is here! 63 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:32,117 And Anne, too. I'm so excited for a day 64 00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:33,785 - of pampering with my girlies! - Hmmm. 65 00:02:33,787 --> 00:02:35,487 Yeah. How'd you swing a rezzo to this place? 66 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,655 I've been trying to get in here since they opened. 67 00:02:36,696 --> 00:02:39,324 Oh, this place? I um, actually, I didn't. 68 00:02:39,326 --> 00:02:41,393 - Yeah, it's a funny story, uh... - (BOOMING BASS PLAYS IN A CAR) 69 00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:43,127 Yeah, well, that's not helping. 70 00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:45,063 - Very loud. - (BOOMING RHYTHMIC BASS) 71 00:02:45,065 --> 00:02:47,132 So look, Sloane actually got the reservation for this place, 72 00:02:47,201 --> 00:02:48,467 I didn't want to tell you 73 00:02:48,602 --> 00:02:50,101 'cause I thought you wouldn't come, 74 00:02:50,171 --> 00:02:51,869 and the whole book cover thing, ancient history. 75 00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:53,505 We can laugh about it now, you know what I mean? 76 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,607 She-she probably doesn't even remember, it's the truth. 77 00:02:55,742 --> 00:02:58,510 VAL: Sloane, I've heard so much about you! 78 00:02:58,579 --> 00:03:00,311 Hey, bestseller. 79 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:04,216 Okay, so she remembered, but listen, 80 00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:06,818 just keep it together for Val, right? 81 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,854 Anne? Anne? 82 00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,756 Anne? Anne? 83 00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,225 So, here we go. 84 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:15,494 We have aromatherapy, deep tissue, 85 00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,296 - and Thai massage. - You hear that? 86 00:03:17,298 --> 00:03:19,098 Maybe someone can finally massage the bitch out of you. 87 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:21,166 I'll massage the bitch out of you. 88 00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:22,968 - Good luck. - SYMONE: Ahem! 89 00:03:23,037 --> 00:03:26,204 A gentle reminder that the club has a whisper-only policy 90 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,208 to ensure peace and tranquility for all our guests. 91 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:32,777 Hey, what were you thinking inviting her? 92 00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,313 Look, I know she's not your favorite person. 93 00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:36,314 No shit! I'd rather let Jayme cut my hair 94 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,250 than hang out with that wide-awake nightmare. 95 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,652 I know you guys are co-workers, but she sucks, dude. 96 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,921 She just says whatever she's thinking. It's a lot. 97 00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:45,323 Yeah, it kinda reminds me of another person in my life. 98 00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:48,126 - Okay. - Look, today is about Val. 99 00:03:48,262 --> 00:03:50,262 Okay? And whatever birthday Val is having. 100 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,431 So I need you to try, all right? 101 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,534 Truth be told, I don't totally know how to act 102 00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:57,168 - around Sloane today, either. - What do you mean? 103 00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:58,704 I thought you guys were cool now. 104 00:03:58,727 --> 00:04:01,339 I um, I may have put us in a... 105 00:04:02,233 --> 00:04:04,809 conflict of interest situation. Hmm. 106 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:06,177 What? 107 00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,146 Uh, let's just say there was like, a fire, 108 00:04:08,215 --> 00:04:10,249 and I put out the fire, it's gone. 109 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,351 And I don't know if I should tell her 110 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,886 about the fire that I put out. 111 00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,422 I genuinely hate your analogies. 112 00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,090 - Yeah. - If there's no fire, 113 00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,725 - why sound the alarm? - Right. Exactly. 114 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,895 - I'm not gonna tell her. - Great. Okay. 115 00:04:22,897 --> 00:04:24,563 Let's go get pretzeled by some Russians. 116 00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:26,031 Yeah. 117 00:04:27,802 --> 00:04:29,968 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYS) 118 00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:33,771 No need to stay so north of the border, my good man. 119 00:04:33,808 --> 00:04:35,773 Typically we start with the shoulders. 120 00:04:35,810 --> 00:04:38,176 Do whatever you need to do to get the tension out. 121 00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:40,445 Remember, this body is a wonderland. 122 00:04:40,448 --> 00:04:42,714 You know, I'm not really supposed to say this, 123 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:45,584 but you have beautiful shoulders. 124 00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:47,486 Yeah, yeah, just get the job done. 125 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,389 What do you think of these shoulders? 126 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,325 Uh, they're-they're fine. 127 00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:55,727 Fine, or like... fiiine? 128 00:04:56,997 --> 00:04:58,830 Can you focus on my neck, that's where I hold 129 00:04:58,833 --> 00:05:00,398 - all my tension. - MASSEUR: Mm-hmm. 130 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,801 Speaking of tension, did you see the look 131 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:04,336 on Anne's face when you walked up? 132 00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:06,404 What got a bee in her bonnet? 133 00:05:06,406 --> 00:05:08,607 Don't get me wrong, I love me a sour bitch, 134 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,542 but I prefer the fun kind. 135 00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:13,077 Unfortunately, she never holds back, you know? 136 00:05:13,114 --> 00:05:15,413 Yeah, I know. 137 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:19,151 You have absolutely incredible skin elasticity. 138 00:05:19,153 --> 00:05:20,919 It's-it's like touching a newborn. 139 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,554 So I've been told. 140 00:05:24,125 --> 00:05:26,525 I too am... hot? 141 00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:28,527 Oh, I can adjust the temperature for you. 142 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,996 MASSEUR: Ooh! And your arms, they're so supple. 143 00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:38,036 (SIGHS HEAVILY) 144 00:05:38,172 --> 00:05:40,438 Oh, my good man, are you hard? 145 00:05:40,508 --> 00:05:42,574 - No, no. - Well, yes, you are, 146 00:05:42,709 --> 00:05:44,275 I can see it, hard as a rock. 147 00:05:44,311 --> 00:05:46,110 It's all right, perfectly natural. 148 00:05:46,147 --> 00:05:47,579 I'm sure it happens with all the beautiful women. 149 00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:50,816 You're excited, the blood is flowing. 150 00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,251 - I'm absolutely not excited. - Yes, you are. 151 00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:56,254 I can see it. 152 00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:58,122 Hard like a rock. 153 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,960 ??? 154 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,128 (WATER LAPS GENTLY) 155 00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:08,132 This water's so warm, huh? 156 00:06:08,169 --> 00:06:09,735 It's so nice. 157 00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:12,070 How you doin', you been good? 158 00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,972 - What's going on? - (LAUGHS) Nothing. 159 00:06:14,107 --> 00:06:16,140 Nothing, I'm just-I'm just having fun, 160 00:06:16,177 --> 00:06:17,676 I'm just making some conversation. 161 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:19,610 - Kate. - Uh, there was a fire. 162 00:06:20,133 --> 00:06:21,413 - Where? - It's out. 163 00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,382 It's totally out, and because it's out, 164 00:06:23,384 --> 00:06:25,383 we don't need to tell anyone about the fire, right? 165 00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,319 - I don't gotta tell anybody. - For fuck's sake. 166 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:29,287 - Is this a metaphor? - Yes, sorry, uh, 167 00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,089 but I really would like your blessing 168 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:33,191 - to not talk about the fire. - At this point I would pay you 169 00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:34,793 - to stop talking about the fire. - What fire? 170 00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:35,994 (NERVOUS CHUCKLE) 171 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:37,895 Good. Yeah. 172 00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:43,101 Hey, should you be in the hot tub? 173 00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,703 You know with the whole uh... 174 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,504 - Oh, the whole baby thing? - Yeah. 175 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:48,440 It's not a problem. It didn't take. 176 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:51,376 - Oh shit, dude, I'm sorry. - Don't be. 177 00:06:51,412 --> 00:06:53,378 You could try again, you know. 178 00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,079 No, I'm good. 179 00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:58,650 - Hey! - (VAL SIGHS) 180 00:07:01,055 --> 00:07:03,221 Oh! Look at the ass on that one. 181 00:07:03,224 --> 00:07:05,057 What I wouldn't give for an industrial-sized 182 00:07:05,059 --> 00:07:06,491 dump truck like that. 183 00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,660 - To Val! - To Val! 184 00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:10,361 Shhhh! 185 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:14,098 (WATER BABBLES SOFTLY) 186 00:07:15,168 --> 00:07:16,367 (FAINT CALMING MUSIC) 187 00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:19,937 (SIGHS HEAVILY) Did you take a day off 188 00:07:19,974 --> 00:07:21,840 from ruining authors' lives today, Sloane? 189 00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,975 (NERVOUS CHUCKLE) You said you were gonna try, Anne. 190 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,410 You got something to say to me there, red? 191 00:07:25,412 --> 00:07:27,279 - Yeah, I might. - Or are you just gonna slap me? 192 00:07:27,339 --> 00:07:29,048 I thought this was gonna be a close friends-only 193 00:07:29,091 --> 00:07:31,116 kind of party, I didn't think that someone who humiliated me 194 00:07:31,192 --> 00:07:33,752 - on TV was gonna be invited! - Shhh! 195 00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:36,221 Sorry, you think you were humiliated?! 196 00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,423 My ass was on the line when you and bestie over here 197 00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:41,990 pulled that stunt in front of the board, and for what? 198 00:07:42,025 --> 00:07:43,495 Middling sales at best? 199 00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,430 Oh, maybe if you were better at your job, 200 00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:46,932 you wouldn't need to rely on hack marketing! 201 00:07:46,982 --> 00:07:49,301 Yeah, well, maybe if you weren't such an asshole all the time, 202 00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:51,002 we wouldn't have to resort to "hack marketing." 203 00:07:51,005 --> 00:07:52,871 - Oh, really?! - Really! 204 00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:56,519 Ladies! Just a gentle reminder to lower your voices. 205 00:07:56,554 --> 00:07:58,341 Totally, loud and clear, sorry. 206 00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:02,314 Do you know what, I didn't come here to be attacked! 207 00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:04,650 Oh, uh... did you just splash a black woman's hair? 208 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,518 What, are you fuckin' nine?! 209 00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:08,386 You happy ruining Val's birthday?! 210 00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:10,588 No, no, no getting older ruined my birthday. 211 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,490 You're just snuffing out the candles. 212 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,525 - Shhh! - Oh... 213 00:08:13,544 --> 00:08:16,862 - (IN UNISON) You fuckin' shush! - Who invited you, anyways?! 214 00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,363 I don't think I did anything wrong here. 215 00:08:18,411 --> 00:08:20,532 Okay, now I have to ask you to leave. 216 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,367 - Yeah. All right, we're goin'. - Yeah, let's go! 217 00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,402 - You wanna go? You wanna go? - No, no! 218 00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:26,404 - Let's fuckin' go! - Let's go! - I'm out! 219 00:08:26,539 --> 00:08:28,874 - You stop it! - Stop it, we're out! 220 00:08:28,876 --> 00:08:30,308 - You stop it! - We're out! We're out! 221 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,276 I never get to go in hot tubs. 222 00:08:32,313 --> 00:08:34,579 I never get to go in hot tubs, ever! 223 00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:39,417 (TRAFFIC RUMBLES, HORNS HONK) 224 00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:41,152 (LOW HUM OF PATRON CHATTER) 225 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,288 (SILVERWARE CLINKS) 226 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:50,128 (LOW HUM OF PATRON CHATTER) 227 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,830 Okay, this is super depressing. 228 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:54,165 Guys, why don't we just start by apologizing 229 00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,833 for what happened back there, okay? 230 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:57,668 Anne? 231 00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:02,461 - Sloane? - Fine, I'm... I'm sorry. 232 00:09:03,138 --> 00:09:04,138 For? 233 00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,619 Spending time with Anne in the first place. 234 00:09:06,654 --> 00:09:10,047 - No. - This is the worst day of my life. 235 00:09:10,084 --> 00:09:11,449 It is! 236 00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:13,452 You know, this is supposed to be my last good year, 237 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,120 and frankly, what's good about it? 238 00:09:15,157 --> 00:09:18,857 I work, come home, bang Mel within an inch of his life, 239 00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:21,259 go to bed, repeat. 240 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,794 You have sex every day? 241 00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:25,663 - You get to be my age... - And that age is...? 242 00:09:27,101 --> 00:09:28,866 And nothing is really exciting anymore. 243 00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:32,003 Remember how fun birthdays were when you were a kid? 244 00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:34,205 The thrill of a clown. 245 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,675 The magic of a bouncy castle. 246 00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:39,611 Playing truth or dare. 247 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,991 Then suddenly you find yourself eating lightly salted lettuce 248 00:09:46,026 --> 00:09:49,859 in a desperate attempt to hang on to any semblance of youth. 249 00:09:52,226 --> 00:09:53,524 Ohh! 250 00:09:56,130 --> 00:09:58,163 Now, that looks delicious. 251 00:10:00,134 --> 00:10:02,033 What I wouldn't give for a bite of that. 252 00:10:02,069 --> 00:10:03,835 I cannot take this shit anymore. 253 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,070 I dare you to go take a bite out of that man's sandwich. 254 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,572 - Pardon me? - You heard me. 255 00:10:07,641 --> 00:10:09,307 Walk over there, 256 00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:10,975 you say hello, 257 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:14,245 take a bite of that man's sumptuous chicken parm sandie. 258 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:15,914 Oh, I couldn't. 259 00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:18,149 (LAUGHS) That's fine. 260 00:10:19,003 --> 00:10:20,285 Why do anything exciting? 261 00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:23,221 Might as well just quietly slip into old age instead. 262 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:31,262 ??? 263 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,864 - No. - Yeah. 264 00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,835 - (SLOANE AND VAL CHUCKLE) - Oh shit! 265 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:44,408 ??? 266 00:10:44,445 --> 00:10:46,211 - Hello. - Hi. 267 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:49,014 - It's my birthday. - Okay, so happy... 268 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,715 - Hey! What?! - Mmm! 269 00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:52,684 - Excuse me! - Mmm! 270 00:10:52,819 --> 00:10:54,886 - Mm-hmm! - What? 271 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:56,288 - Mm-hmm! Mmm! - Huh? 272 00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:57,989 Mmmm! (MOANS) 273 00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:00,324 That must be a damn good sandwich! 274 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,760 That's my girl! 275 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,628 Mmm! Meet you bitches outside, 276 00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:05,864 let's get this party started, huh?! 277 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,833 (CACKLES WILDLY) 278 00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:09,801 - Dude, come on. Pay, pay, pay! - What? 279 00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:12,037 - You got it. - I'm so sorry. 280 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,972 You're sorry? 281 00:11:14,601 --> 00:11:17,108 Oh! Holy shit, I'm alive! 282 00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:19,110 (ALL LAUGH) 283 00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,379 All right, ladies, it is dare night... 284 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:23,248 in the middle of the goddamn day. 285 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,383 Foster, you're up. 286 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,351 - Whaaat? - Giddy-up, Kate! 287 00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,787 Truth or dare, really? 288 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,989 I didn't realize I was at one of Alice's parties. 289 00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:32,790 Hey, no truth in this game. 290 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:35,059 All right, all right, all right, so what's my dare? 291 00:11:35,128 --> 00:11:37,795 (LAUGHS) Okay, okay, okay. 292 00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,797 - Uh... (LAUGHS) - What? 293 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,900 I dare you to flash them. 294 00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:44,135 - She's not gonna flash them. - Who, them? I'll do it, yeah. 295 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,337 - What? - Yeah, what are the parameters? 296 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:47,606 Both nerps, full ten mississippis. 297 00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,008 Well, that is the legal measurement of time. 298 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,143 You flash 'em, I'll moon 'em. Solidarity. 299 00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:54,478 Ah, nah-uh-uh-uh, you've had your moment, this is Kate's. 300 00:11:54,515 --> 00:11:55,813 - Can I count? - Sure! 301 00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:58,616 - This is my moment. - ANNE: Oh my god. 302 00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:01,419 (SLOANE AND VAL GIGGLE) 303 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,588 - Oh my lord! - One Mississippi. 304 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,657 - Two Mississippi. - Little slow Val, come on! 305 00:12:05,726 --> 00:12:07,626 - Three Mississippi. - Is that a birthmark? 306 00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:09,766 - Four Mississippi. - You want to count a little faster? 307 00:12:09,801 --> 00:12:11,363 Pick up the pace! What do you say? Come on! 308 00:12:11,365 --> 00:12:12,998 - Five Mississippi. - Oh! 309 00:12:13,133 --> 00:12:14,866 - Oh my god! Oh! - ANNE: Hey! Hey! You peeping tween! 310 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,001 What the fuck? Gimme that! 311 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,637 - (GLASS SHATTERS) - That's my phone! 312 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:21,406 It was an Android, it's probably gonna explode anyway. 313 00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:22,974 ? Yeah ? 314 00:12:23,109 --> 00:12:24,475 - ? Hey ? - (COME ON) 315 00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:25,777 ? Young rap girl ? 316 00:12:25,846 --> 00:12:27,111 ? This is the anthem, folks ? 317 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,713 ? You know I'm known to make 'em mad ? 318 00:12:28,715 --> 00:12:30,282 ? It's the tantrum flow ? 319 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,750 ? Yeah, I hear a lot of talk ? 320 00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:33,351 ? And they're saying this and that ? 321 00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,520 ? Look I'm gettin' real sick about to tell 'em get the gat ? 322 00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:37,055 ? Make it nasty he's sliding like skates ? 323 00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:40,058 ? But lookin' like you wanna eat, this is steak, yeah ? 324 00:12:40,060 --> 00:12:42,060 ? I think you're choosin' but know I got the option ? 325 00:12:42,129 --> 00:12:45,330 - (DEEP INHALE, GROWL) - (CHILDREN SCREAM) 326 00:12:45,399 --> 00:12:47,732 ? I need one for the money two times for the show ? 327 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,700 ? This is where you take notes ? 328 00:12:49,736 --> 00:12:51,502 ? On how to really kill a flow ? 329 00:12:51,572 --> 00:12:53,471 ? Mix the henny with the coke make the room move slow ? 330 00:12:53,607 --> 00:12:55,873 ? Speed it up and make the club, buss it down to the floor ? 331 00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:59,277 ? Wait, holler, I think I got the next dude on the way ? 332 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,479 - (GASPS) Lady! - Oh, I'm just playin'. 333 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:03,381 I'm messin' with you, she's gorgeous, by the way. 334 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:04,883 Congratulations, congratulations. 335 00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,885 SLOANE: (LAUGHS) You crazy bitch! 336 00:13:07,020 --> 00:13:09,521 - (LINE RINGS) - Oh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! 337 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,222 Yes, Richard Greenwood? 338 00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,858 Congratulations, you are our grand prize winner! 339 00:13:13,927 --> 00:13:17,762 Is this for the steaks? Honey, we won the steaks! Huh! 340 00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:19,230 (ALL LAUGH) 341 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:22,233 ? Buss it, buss it, buss it, buss it ? 342 00:13:22,368 --> 00:13:23,802 ? Go ahead and buss it ? 343 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,503 ? Buss it, buss it, buss it ? 344 00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,839 Yes, I'd like to place an order for CeeCee Mitchell. 345 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:30,808 Mm-hmm, I would like uh, one beehive, please. 346 00:13:31,845 --> 00:13:33,545 ? Go ahead and buss it ? 347 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:35,680 (LAUGHS WILDLY) 348 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,815 Aaah! (GIGGLES) 349 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:40,185 (LAUGHS, SCREAMS) 350 00:13:42,456 --> 00:13:44,522 (SCREAMING) Oof! 351 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:47,125 ? Buss it, buss it, buss it, buss it ? 352 00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,394 - (MUSIC SLOWS TO A STOP) - (BIRDS CHIRP) 353 00:13:49,529 --> 00:13:51,062 (COUGHS, GASPS) 354 00:13:51,131 --> 00:13:52,931 (LAUGHS) I'm okay! 355 00:13:52,933 --> 00:13:54,399 ? Go ahead and buss it ? 356 00:13:54,468 --> 00:13:56,001 ? Throw it in the mirror like you do it out in public ? 357 00:13:56,012 --> 00:13:59,070 Hello, is your refrigerator running? 358 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,339 ? She dig don't care and they know we really... ? 359 00:14:01,474 --> 00:14:03,241 Better go catch it! (LAUGHS) 360 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:06,147 - (ALL JEERING) Booooo! - That's terrible! - What? It's a classic! 361 00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:08,412 ? Go ahead and buss it, buss it, buss it ? 362 00:14:08,448 --> 00:14:11,148 ? Buss it, buss it buss it, buss it ? 363 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,151 ? Go ahead and buss it, buss it ? 364 00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,252 ? Go ahead and buss it, buss it ? 365 00:14:15,288 --> 00:14:18,490 ? Buss it, buss it buss it, buss it ? 366 00:14:18,492 --> 00:14:20,625 - ? Go ahead and... ? - (ALL LAUGH) 367 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:22,960 - Oh my God! - Ah! It's so good! So good. 368 00:14:23,030 --> 00:14:25,982 Oh! All right, dare master, what do you got for Anne? 369 00:14:26,017 --> 00:14:28,600 - No, no, I'm good. - No, come on, dude, try something. 370 00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:31,836 Ah, okay, fine. But just like, nothing too crazy. 371 00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:35,240 All right, uh, I dare you to... 372 00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:37,442 take a little birdbath in that fountain there. 373 00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:40,278 Okay, that's a reasonable dare. 374 00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,047 Ooh, then we all get to make a wish! 375 00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:44,315 I mean, and spend the rest of the day soaking wet? 376 00:14:44,451 --> 00:14:45,917 - No way! - Right, no fun. 377 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:47,585 - No! - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 378 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:50,055 Okay, well, nobody else complained, but fair enough. 379 00:14:51,103 --> 00:14:54,760 Let's play to your strengths. Uh... 380 00:14:56,596 --> 00:14:58,663 I dare you to go up to that guy 381 00:14:58,732 --> 00:15:00,598 and give him your uncensored opinion of him. 382 00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,433 Should be easy enough for you. 383 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,335 Unlike some people, I don't go around 384 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:07,605 giving my unsolicited opinions like a psycho! No! 385 00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,907 Are you unfamiliar with the game? It's a dare. 386 00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:12,143 "Are you unfamiliar with the game?" No! No! 387 00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,546 - Pick another one. - Anne, you gotta do something, come on. 388 00:15:14,574 --> 00:15:16,048 I knew she didn't have it in her, can we skip her? 389 00:15:16,129 --> 00:15:19,550 No, I don't wanna be skipped, I just want a fun, harmless dare. 390 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,318 - Yeah. - Okay, uh... 391 00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,089 I got it. 392 00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:26,690 - Mm-hmm? Okay. - Come on, Anne! 393 00:15:26,727 --> 00:15:28,592 I dare you to go give that guy a kiss. 394 00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,896 - VAL: (GASPS) Ohhhh! Oh! - (SLOANE CHUCKLES) 395 00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,965 I-I'm not gonna cheat on my husband for a dare. 396 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,267 And who knows what infectious diseases that guy has! 397 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,303 - No way! - Oh my God, this is painful! 398 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,071 I'll do it. 399 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,939 - Wha... - Great, go. 400 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,677 - (FRUSTRATED EXHALE) - KATE: Jesus. 401 00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:47,645 - Hi. - KATE: Is she gonna... 402 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,247 - (VAL GIGGLES, GASPS) - KATE: Oh! 403 00:15:52,085 --> 00:15:53,518 Oh! 404 00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,653 It's steamy. 405 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:57,188 (SHOCKED SCOFF) 406 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:03,394 ??? 407 00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:07,464 - (RETCHES, VOMITS) - ALL: Ooh! Oh! 408 00:16:07,501 --> 00:16:08,933 - Oh! - SLOANE: (COUGHS) 409 00:16:14,608 --> 00:16:16,307 That bad, huh? 410 00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:20,878 Oh, that's nice. 411 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:26,050 ??? 412 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,819 (TRAFFIC RUMBLES, HORNS HONK) 413 00:16:27,821 --> 00:16:29,353 (BIRDS CHIRP) 414 00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:32,356 Pretty hot kiss, minus the barf. 415 00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:35,093 Which is weird, because I usually have an iron stomach. 416 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,394 Oh, maybe you caught something from bench guy. 417 00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:41,899 - You know, we could call it. - Are you kidding? 418 00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:44,635 The fun just started! 419 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,503 That was a puke and rally situation. 420 00:16:46,540 --> 00:16:49,106 Ah, pull the trig, and then you're good to go, I love it. 421 00:16:49,108 --> 00:16:50,908 That's right, baby. 422 00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:55,313 Well... 423 00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:57,781 At least you know you're not pregnant. 424 00:16:57,818 --> 00:16:59,450 (LAUGHS) 425 00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:01,452 You did take a pregnancy test, right? 426 00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:04,021 I didn't need to, I know my body, it's not spawning. 427 00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:07,325 Oh yeah, what does "spawning" feel like? 428 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:09,060 - Tiny fingernails scratching. - Mm-hmm. 429 00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:11,395 (PLASTIC BAG RUSTLES) 430 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,697 I got a dare for you. 431 00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,934 (SNORT LAUGHS) 432 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:21,139 I'll admit it, Val, the shirt was a good purchase. 433 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,340 VAL: You want me to run back and see if they have a small? 434 00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,476 - It would look good on you. - No, I already got it, so. 435 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,345 - Hmm. - What about a pair of... hmm? 436 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,047 No, I'm, I'm good. 437 00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:30,648 Hey, you good? 438 00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:32,750 Yeah, of course. I'm not pregnant. 439 00:17:32,886 --> 00:17:35,019 And in two minutes, this little test will prove it. 440 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,820 Okay, because if you are... 441 00:17:36,857 --> 00:17:38,489 I told you, I'm not. I can't be. 442 00:17:38,625 --> 00:17:40,491 Well, those are two different things. 443 00:17:40,493 --> 00:17:42,293 I'm not pregnant. I shouldn't be, anyway. 444 00:17:43,730 --> 00:17:45,096 What do you mean? 445 00:17:45,165 --> 00:17:47,031 Well, I don't have what it takes to be a mother. 446 00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:49,166 - What? - The fuck?! 447 00:17:49,168 --> 00:17:51,201 Who the fuck told you that? That doesn't sound like you. 448 00:17:51,238 --> 00:17:53,871 - Not at all. - Look, if you are pregnant, 449 00:17:53,907 --> 00:17:55,706 your kid's gonna be a dick, just like you. 450 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,842 - Okay. - What the fuck? 451 00:17:57,911 --> 00:17:59,644 That's a step backwards, my friend. 452 00:17:59,713 --> 00:18:01,980 What I'm trying to say is, the one thing I know 453 00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:04,748 - about difficult people... - Excuse me? 454 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:07,185 ...is that we make great moms. 455 00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,788 Headstrong, opinionated, asshole women 456 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:13,324 make headstrong, opinionated, asshole kids. 457 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:16,026 And that's not a bad thing. 458 00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:17,962 It's the one reason I know that 459 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,431 Alice is gonna be okay in this world. 460 00:18:21,635 --> 00:18:24,402 Well, I appreciate the pep talk, ladies, but again, 461 00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,337 - not pregnant. - But if you are, 462 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,539 I'd throw money down that you'd be great at it. 463 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,275 (TRAFFIC HUMS IN THE DISTANCE) 464 00:18:31,278 --> 00:18:33,043 (BIRDS CHIRP) 465 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,747 Valeria! I almost forgot, I got you something! 466 00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,616 Oh no, save your pregnancy test, Kate. 467 00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:40,284 - I love condoms. - What? 468 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,119 Yeah, can't get enough of 'em. 469 00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,955 They just make it feel better. You know, 470 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,490 actually, I'm addicted. And honestly, 471 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,358 I can't come without 'em, call me nuts. 472 00:18:47,493 --> 00:18:48,926 - I got you a cupcake. - Oh my God, 473 00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:50,561 even better, I love cupcakes. 474 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:51,630 (LAUGHS) I know it's not a cake, 475 00:18:51,681 --> 00:18:54,365 but I figured a-a birthday of um... 476 00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:56,167 - this magnitude... - Oh, yes! 477 00:18:56,976 --> 00:18:59,069 And that birthday is... 478 00:19:01,441 --> 00:19:03,240 Do neither of you know how old I am? 479 00:19:03,376 --> 00:19:05,009 No, we do, we do, we totally do. 480 00:19:05,011 --> 00:19:06,077 We just were hoping you were gonna say it. 481 00:19:06,119 --> 00:19:09,713 Good, so you know I'm turning... 482 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:11,315 - 38. - 50. 483 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,217 - Did you just say 70? - Did you say 28? 484 00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:15,185 - No, I said 38. - 38? 485 00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:17,459 - I thought you said it was the big one! - It is the big one. 486 00:19:17,494 --> 00:19:19,257 Well, the big one before the big one. 487 00:19:19,392 --> 00:19:21,459 - Well, that's... - 38 is your last good year. 488 00:19:21,528 --> 00:19:23,594 39 is just a slip 'n slide to 40. 489 00:19:23,730 --> 00:19:25,863 And 40 is the big, big one. 490 00:19:25,932 --> 00:19:27,198 And then it's a crapshoot after that. 491 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,100 Oh God, I've depressed myself. 492 00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:31,469 (HORNS HONK, TRAFFIC RUMBLES) 493 00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:36,073 ??? 494 00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:38,810 - Fuck it! - Where you goin'? 495 00:19:38,812 --> 00:19:40,144 Anne. 496 00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,813 Anne! 497 00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,815 What? 498 00:19:45,986 --> 00:19:47,951 - What-aaah! - Do it! 499 00:19:47,988 --> 00:19:50,154 - VAL: Wooooooo! - KATE: Oh my God! 500 00:19:50,156 --> 00:19:52,289 - (HORN HONKS) - (LAUGHS) 501 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,892 (ALL CHEER) Woooooooooo! 502 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,227 Are you happy now? 503 00:19:56,229 --> 00:19:59,163 Not as happy as you are, look at that smile on your face! 504 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,298 Crazy bitch! 505 00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:08,272 ??? 506 00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,241 (CRICKETS CHIRP) 507 00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,511 (LIGHT BUZZES ON) 508 00:20:13,580 --> 00:20:16,146 ??? 509 00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:18,449 ? I'm lost in the light ? 510 00:20:18,584 --> 00:20:20,851 ? I pray for the night ? 511 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,520 (DOOR CREAKS OPEN AND SHUT) 512 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,789 ? Take me, take me too ? 513 00:20:26,860 --> 00:20:28,593 (KEYS JINGLE) 514 00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:30,528 ? After so many words ? 515 00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:33,897 ? Still nothin's heard ? 516 00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:38,936 ? Don't know what we should do ? 517 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:42,540 ? So if someone could see me now ? 518 00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:45,242 - ? Let them see you ? - (LIGHT CLICKS ON) 519 00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:48,946 ??? 520 00:20:48,948 --> 00:20:50,815 ? They help you to ? 521 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,151 ? See you through ? 522 00:20:55,422 --> 00:20:58,289 ? All the hard things ? 523 00:20:58,358 --> 00:21:00,524 ? We've all gotta do ? 524 00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,828 ? Because this life is long ? 525 00:21:03,897 --> 00:21:06,297 ? And so you wouldn't be wrong ? 526 00:21:36,267 --> 00:21:38,096 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com 527 00:21:38,146 --> 00:21:42,696 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 39161

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