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How are we supposed to
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scale back our energy costs when
you're filling this generator with gasoline?
3
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Yeah, gross. Since when did you start running
the bar on a gas generator?
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- About a week ago. I've been doing it for about a week.
- Why would you do that?
5
00:00:11,738 --> 00:00:14,409
Well, because, you know,
electricity's so expensive, man.
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So I figured let's get a
generator and, you know, run the bar on it.
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Are you kidding me? Gasoline's, like,
a thousand times more expensive than electricity.
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And you know what, Charlie? You shouldn't
be making these decisions anyway, okay?
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- You're not the decision-making type.
- Exactly.
10
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As the brains of this
organization, I should've made this decision.
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- I'm sorry but when did you become the brains?
- I'm sorry I've always been the brains.
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What are your talking about? I thought
I was the brains. What the hell am I?
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00:00:35,325 --> 00:00:37,295
- You're the looks.
- Hey of course I'm the looks,
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00:00:37,325 --> 00:00:39,295
but I was seeing myself
as the brains and the looks.
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No, you're the looks, I'm the
brains, Charlie's the wild card.
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00:00:41,362 --> 00:00:43,825
Oh! That's awesome.
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00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:47,167
Yeah! Yeah, that's the classic setup.
You know this? No?
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Look, every great crew in history
has followed that basic dynamic, right?
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Looks, brains, wild card.
Think about it.
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00:00:53,598 --> 00:00:55,043
The A-Team did it.
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00:00:55,313 --> 00:00:57,078
Scooby Doo did it.
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- The Ghost busters did it.
- Oh, shit!
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00:00:59,036 --> 00:01:00,827
- Yes! Right?
- Yeah.
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00:01:00,828 --> 00:01:03,744
Our problem is that we don't
stick to that basic format,
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and it gets us into trouble.
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00:01:04,922 --> 00:01:07,685
So what you're saying is that
by breaking from that format,
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we're actually limiting our ability to
be as successful as those organizations.
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- Totally right, dude.
- Great. On to the matter at hand.
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We're getting plowed in the ass
by the oil companies and the gas
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companies with their ten-gallon
hats and their rotten, ass-plowing hearts.
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So, as the brains of this
organization,
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- I came up with a plan
- Lay it on us, bud.
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00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:28,075
It involves pulling up our
bootstraps, oiling up a couple
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of asses and doing a little
plowing of our own.
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Pow!
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- Not gay sex.
- Okay.
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Okay, 'cause that's what it sounded like.
What did you mean?
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- We're going to solve the gas crisis.
- Oh, good.
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00:01:44,317 --> 00:01:49,213
Its always sunny in philadelphia 402
"The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis"
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Synchro : Flolo
41
00:02:13,344 --> 00:02:16,030
Charlie, the plan is
simple, okay?
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- Is it?
- Yes.
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We go to a bank, we talk to a
loan officer.
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We get a hefty loan to buy a
bunch of gasoline.
45
00:02:22,364 --> 00:02:25,304
We take that gasoline, we store it
in the basement, we wait a few months.
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When the gas prices skyrocket,
we sell it, make a huge profit.
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00:02:28,265 --> 00:02:30,381
Yeah, man, if the guy doesn't
seem like he's going for it,
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00:02:30,382 --> 00:02:32,982
I'll show him this, uh,
big-breasted women chart...
49
00:02:33,011 --> 00:02:34,449
- and that'll win him over.
- Yeah, I'm sure it will.
50
00:02:34,450 --> 00:02:37,952
I mean, 'cause that's great and
the plan's actually pretty great.
51
00:02:38,196 --> 00:02:41,933
The problem I'm having with it
is that I don't have anything to do.
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00:02:41,977 --> 00:02:44,427
No, you do have something to do.
You're the wild card.
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You sit there looking crazy and
capable of anything.
54
00:02:46,364 --> 00:02:47,114
Yeah.
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Yeah, you set the tone for
the whole meeting.
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00:02:49,809 --> 00:02:53,508
So if I'm, like, there while you guys
are talking and I'm just, like, like...
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That's terrible.
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00:02:57,552 --> 00:02:59,479
That was my... that was my
wild card face, all right...
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00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:00,840
What message are you trying
to send with that?
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00:03:00,841 --> 00:03:03,601
Really? Was that not a good one?
Well, so what if it's more like, like...
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00:03:05,944 --> 00:03:08,338
And you want him to think
that you're going to take a dump or...?
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00:03:08,339 --> 00:03:09,983
- Seriously, that's what that looks like?
- I just don't know what
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00:03:09,984 --> 00:03:12,453
- message you're trying to...
- Oh, man, you're forcing it.
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00:03:12,454 --> 00:03:14,070
- Oh, my God. You know what?
- Yeah, you're really forcing it.
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00:03:14,071 --> 00:03:15,844
I'd better look in a mirror
'cause I don't know what I'm
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00:03:15,845 --> 00:03:17,247
doing and what it looks like
feel like two different things.
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00:03:17,248 --> 00:03:19,441
The Brains, I'm going to
supervise 'cause there is
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- no way he should be making this decision.
- Well, walk me through it, dude,
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00:03:21,003 --> 00:03:24,735
- 'cause I just don't see what you're talking about.
- It's not a rape van. It's a spy van.
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00:03:24,736 --> 00:03:26,525
It looks very much like
a rape van to me but whatever.
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00:03:26,526 --> 00:03:29,115
- Dennis, you gotta look at this.
- What is this?
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Bruce Mathis is about to give
away all of Mom's money.
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00:03:31,882 --> 00:03:33,430
What are you talking about?
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00:03:33,431 --> 00:03:35,901
In two days, some Muslim
Cultural Center is about to get
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a giant check made out of our
cash, and we've got to get that back.
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00:03:38,236 --> 00:03:41,991
Listen, this jamoke is
giving our money to terrorists,
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and we've got to prove it.
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00:03:44,026 --> 00:03:46,912
Dee, Mom gave all of our
money to Bruce.
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00:03:46,913 --> 00:03:48,449
You were never going to get it anyway.
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00:03:48,450 --> 00:03:50,713
Oh, no-no-no, I was.
See, I had a plan.
81
00:03:50,714 --> 00:03:54,486
I was going to eliminate everybody else
and be the only surviving heir, so... help.
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00:03:54,487 --> 00:03:57,641
So when you say "eliminate,"
you mean you were going to kill me?
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00:03:57,642 --> 00:04:00,850
I don't know. No, yes, maybe
I was going to;
84
00:04:00,851 --> 00:04:04,227
maybe I wasn't. The point is moot now.
So can you please help me out here?
85
00:04:04,228 --> 00:04:05,980
So you were planning on killing me?
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00:04:05,981 --> 00:04:09,344
Stop arguing. Are you going to
help us out? We got no time here.
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00:04:09,345 --> 00:04:10,529
Pass.
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00:04:10,530 --> 00:04:12,433
- "Pass"?
- Yeah, pass.
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00:04:12,434 --> 00:04:14,575
- Super-pass, berpass...
- How do you super-pass on something like this...
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00:04:14,576 --> 00:04:17,321
I pass! I pass! Because you were
planning on killing me.
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00:04:17,322 --> 00:04:19,829
Oh, my God, I feel like
you're really focused on one
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00:04:19,830 --> 00:04:21,544
tiny part of what I'm trying to
talk about here.
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00:04:21,545 --> 00:04:24,166
- It's a very big part of your...
- It's just a couple of words.
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00:04:24,167 --> 00:04:26,120
- Go away. I'm trying to draw breasts and pretty women.
- Focus on the words "money"
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and "Bruce" and "me" and "help."
96
00:04:28,776 --> 00:04:33,178
All right, and what is the
reason you're requesting a loan today?
97
00:04:33,482 --> 00:04:35,080
Wait for it...
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- Gasoline.
- Excuse me.
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- Don't rush me.
- Don't rush him.
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00:04:39,486 --> 00:04:41,652
Thank you, I feel rushed.
Look, here's the plan.
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You give us a shitload of money.
We buy a shitload of gasoline.
102
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We wait 12 months, we sell the
gasoline and make a shitload of profit.
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00:04:49,696 --> 00:04:53,168
Gentlemen, we tend to give
loans to businesses, not...
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00:04:53,169 --> 00:04:55,594
- She's not getting it. Get the graph.
- Oh, yeah, the graph.
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00:04:55,595 --> 00:04:58,056
- We have a graph.
- Yeah, check this out.
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Now these are the gas prices last year.
107
00:05:00,664 --> 00:05:03,450
These are the gas prices this year.
108
00:05:03,451 --> 00:05:06,806
And this is what the gas prices will be.
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00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:08,623
And what are those?
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These are gorgeous women
with heaving breasts.
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Yeah. Why?
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00:05:14,122 --> 00:05:17,680
Well, to be perfectly
honest, we sort of thought we'd
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- be speaking to a man today, so...
- Yeah, is there any way that
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00:05:20,580 --> 00:05:23,746
we can talk to your boss because I think
he would understand more better?
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My boss is a woman.
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- Really?
- Your boss is a woman?
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Now, this is a strange bank.
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00:05:30,688 --> 00:05:33,447
Okay, well, I am definitely
rejecting your request for
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$300,000 to buy... gasoline.
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00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:41,236
- Dennis, you're on.
- Yeah.
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00:05:41,237 --> 00:05:44,064
You know... I just had a crazy thought.
122
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How's about I take you in the
back and "change" your mind?
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00:05:50,290 --> 00:05:53,939
Or how about we all go in the
back and have great sex?
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00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:56,403
- What are you doing, hmm?
- I'm pulling a wild card here, man, so...
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00:05:56,404 --> 00:05:58,203
No, dude, just let Dennis do
his thing, okay?
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I can be very sensual with a
woman, all right? You will enjoy it.
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00:06:00,918 --> 00:06:02,970
Now is not the right time to
pull the wild card, okay?
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00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:04,491
Let me do my thing.
Let me do the seducing.
129
00:06:04,492 --> 00:06:06,962
- Let Dennis bang her so we can get our loan.
- Well, here's a scenario.
130
00:06:06,963 --> 00:06:09,115
What if she wanted to bang me or
you for that matter?
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00:06:09,116 --> 00:06:10,762
You can't pull the wild card
when I already have my shirt
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off, that should be a rule.
Can that be a rule?
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- Yes, that's a rule.
- Oh, yeah?!
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00:06:14,283 --> 00:06:16,163
Oh, yeah?! Back off!
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00:06:16,164 --> 00:06:19,172
- Come on, man, let me do it. This is my job!
- Wild card, baby!
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00:06:19,173 --> 00:06:21,292
- Dude, I feel like I can do it then, too.
- What are you doing?!
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- Goddamn it, look, okay, so...
- Why don't you decide?
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- Yeah.
- Which one of us do you want
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to take you in the back and bang you?
140
00:06:38,663 --> 00:06:43,409
My intel tells me that Bruce
moved into this crappy apartment complex.
141
00:06:43,540 --> 00:06:45,860
- Where'd you get your intel?
- I water boarded some guy.
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00:06:45,861 --> 00:06:48,341
- Told me everything.
- You tortured somebody?
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00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:51,369
Oh, yeah. Big time.
What do you see?
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00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:54,431
I can't see shit. Why would you
tint the inside of the windows?
145
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- I don't want anybody to see in.
- We can't see out, Frank!
146
00:06:58,235 --> 00:07:00,841
- I might've overdone it a little bit.
- You think so?
147
00:07:01,883 --> 00:07:03,580
- That's Bruce!
- This guy?
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00:07:03,581 --> 00:07:05,095
That's the guy, walking
there! Walking there!
149
00:07:05,096 --> 00:07:07,074
- Start the car. Let's go! Let's follow him!
- Are you sure that's him?
150
00:07:07,075 --> 00:07:08,681
Gonna take some pictures.
151
00:07:10,316 --> 00:07:11,873
I got it working.
152
00:07:11,874 --> 00:07:13,373
- Go! Go!
- All right, there's...
153
00:07:13,374 --> 00:07:15,397
- the gas pedal's stuck or something.
- Well, wobble it.
154
00:07:15,398 --> 00:07:17,451
- "Wobble it"?
- Yeah, wobble it back and forth.
155
00:07:17,452 --> 00:07:20,204
- Wiggle it. Wiggle it. That's it. That's it.
- All right.
156
00:07:21,171 --> 00:07:23,839
- Now, hit it. Oh, God...
- What are you trying to do?
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00:07:23,840 --> 00:07:26,433
Give me whiplash? You're blinding me.
Will you calm down? Hold on.
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Son of a bitch!
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Hey, assholes.
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00:07:35,835 --> 00:07:38,441
Hey, what the hell was that about?!
161
00:07:42,902 --> 00:07:45,738
I can't believe Dee keeps her
life savings in her sock drawer.
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00:07:45,739 --> 00:07:47,186
That's a dumb place to hide it.
163
00:07:47,187 --> 00:07:48,878
She's an investor now.
She'll thank us later.
164
00:07:48,879 --> 00:07:51,027
You know what, guys?
I'm sorry. I got to bring something up.
165
00:07:51,028 --> 00:07:53,485
Can I bring something up? 'Cause if it
don't, it's going to stew up inside me.
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00:07:53,486 --> 00:07:55,329
- It's going to drive me crazy.
- What's up, man?
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00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,964
I kind of can't believe that you guys
took your shirts off back there, man.
168
00:07:58,965 --> 00:08:01,478
I mean, I feel like you really
sold me down the river.
169
00:08:01,479 --> 00:08:03,868
The Ghostbusters would never do
something like that to each other.
170
00:08:03,869 --> 00:08:06,100
- I can't believe you guys did it, man.
- What are you doing?
171
00:08:06,101 --> 00:08:07,776
No trash cans, only cars.
172
00:08:07,777 --> 00:08:10,590
Whoa, cool your jets, guy.
We paid for this gas.
173
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,911
It's going to be a while, so...
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00:08:12,912 --> 00:08:15,734
Stop now. You can't do this.
175
00:08:15,735 --> 00:08:17,090
- Come on, man.
- Only cars.
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00:08:17,091 --> 00:08:19,874
Oh, geez. All right, Wild Card, do your thing.
177
00:08:19,875 --> 00:08:22,913
So help me God, I'll blow
this place to kingdom come.
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00:08:22,914 --> 00:08:25,540
- Not that, not that. Jesus Christ, Charlie.
- Come on, man.
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00:08:25,541 --> 00:08:28,998
No, we just got to figure out
a way to get this gas back to
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00:08:28,999 --> 00:08:32,132
- the bar without using the barrels.
- Well, how the hell we gonna do that?
181
00:08:40,446 --> 00:08:43,196
All right, barrel number six is done, dudes.
182
00:08:43,197 --> 00:08:46,279
- This doesn't seem to be the best...
- No. Guys, this is not working, okay?
183
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,670
We're actually losing money
driving back and forth from that
184
00:08:48,671 --> 00:08:50,673
- gas station all day long.
- You're burning up our product.
185
00:08:50,674 --> 00:08:53,487
Plus I have swallowed a good deal of it.
It's just a damn waste.
186
00:08:53,488 --> 00:08:56,606
Yeah, and gas has gone up
seven cents since this morning.
187
00:08:56,607 --> 00:08:59,095
He puts a new thing on the
sign every time we pull in there.
188
00:08:59,096 --> 00:09:01,585
- We're screwing ourselves here, guys.
- Hold on, let's not freak out.
189
00:09:01,586 --> 00:09:03,948
- Let's not freak out.
- The plan's not working though, man.
190
00:09:03,949 --> 00:09:06,166
We just need to adjust our
business model to meet the needs
191
00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:09,431
- of a changing market place. That's all.
- That's money talk. Let's talk money.
192
00:09:09,432 --> 00:09:11,151
We got to make some money in
the short term.
193
00:09:11,152 --> 00:09:13,050
Well, how the hell are we
going to do that?
194
00:09:13,051 --> 00:09:14,756
I got a plan.
195
00:09:15,041 --> 00:09:19,001
- We'd like to return some gas, please.
- Yeah. Don't worry, bro, got receipts.
196
00:09:19,002 --> 00:09:20,908
I can't do that.
197
00:09:20,909 --> 00:09:23,138
You can't do it or you won't do it?
198
00:09:23,686 --> 00:09:25,050
Both.
199
00:09:25,051 --> 00:09:26,588
Not yet, buddy.
200
00:09:26,610 --> 00:09:30,323
Okay, bro, want to play hard ball, fine.
201
00:09:30,324 --> 00:09:33,320
You're about to experience the
hard knocks of a free market, bitch.
202
00:09:33,378 --> 00:09:35,152
Get ready to feel it where it hurts.
203
00:09:35,181 --> 00:09:38,868
- Your dick.
- No, no, not his dick. His wallet.
204
00:09:38,869 --> 00:09:40,824
- Your wallet.
- Yep.
205
00:09:47,517 --> 00:09:49,780
Here we are. This is it.
206
00:09:49,815 --> 00:09:52,859
- Are you sure this is the place?
- Yes, yes, yes, my intel says so.
207
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:55,481
Okay, take these box cutters,
put them in his bedroom.
208
00:09:55,482 --> 00:09:57,829
Take this fertilizer, toss it in
the closet.
209
00:09:58,386 --> 00:10:00,420
What the hell are we doing that for?
210
00:10:00,421 --> 00:10:02,356
'Cause when I call the cops
on him, they'll come and find
211
00:10:02,357 --> 00:10:05,277
all this bomb-making shit and
they'll arrest his money-stealing ass.
212
00:10:05,385 --> 00:10:07,647
We don't want to call the cops.
213
00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:10,344
They'll find the bug I'm going to plant.
214
00:10:10,358 --> 00:10:12,130
That's a baby monitor, Frank.
215
00:10:12,150 --> 00:10:14,261
You're planting a baby monitor?
216
00:10:14,262 --> 00:10:15,471
Yeah?
217
00:10:15,472 --> 00:10:18,622
A lot of people are bugging
their babies these days.
218
00:10:18,623 --> 00:10:20,715
I guess babies can't be trusted.
219
00:10:20,716 --> 00:10:23,023
What exactly is it you're
expecting to find here?
220
00:10:23,024 --> 00:10:25,221
- Lotta shady shit.
- Like what?
221
00:10:25,948 --> 00:10:29,108
Like maybe Bruce is banging
dudes.
222
00:10:29,109 --> 00:10:31,235
Why would that be shady?
223
00:10:31,289 --> 00:10:33,514
- Maybe the dudes are babies.
- What?!
224
00:10:33,515 --> 00:10:35,437
Bruce is not banging any baby dudes.
225
00:10:35,438 --> 00:10:37,390
Look, we're going back to the
original plan, okay?
226
00:10:37,391 --> 00:10:38,804
We're going to put the frame on him.
227
00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,042
We're going to be heroes among
the community and I'm going to
228
00:10:41,043 --> 00:10:42,726
get all of my money back as a reward.
229
00:10:42,727 --> 00:10:44,481
- All my money.
- Whatever.
230
00:10:44,482 --> 00:10:46,873
It was probably going to end up
mine eventually, so...
231
00:10:46,874 --> 00:10:50,619
Okay, there's something I
want to talk to you about.
232
00:10:50,620 --> 00:10:56,031
Were you planning on offing me
and then offing Dennis also?
233
00:10:56,032 --> 00:10:57,676
Frank, we are in the middle
of something.
234
00:10:57,677 --> 00:10:59,569
I don't have time to chitchat
with you about stuff.
235
00:10:59,570 --> 00:11:00,924
Were you planning on offing me?
236
00:11:00,925 --> 00:11:03,393
- I didn't say that.
- You didn't deny it either.
237
00:11:03,647 --> 00:11:05,188
Deny it?
238
00:11:05,189 --> 00:11:08,733
Do I have to deny... something so craz...
239
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:11,037
Give me the baby monitor.
I'll hide it for you.
240
00:11:16,968 --> 00:11:19,193
Capitalism at work.
241
00:11:19,236 --> 00:11:20,676
This ought to show the son of a bitch.
242
00:11:20,677 --> 00:11:22,496
All right, buddy, now explain
to me how exactly we're going to
243
00:11:22,497 --> 00:11:24,857
- calculate the totals.
- Oh, it's easy, dude.
244
00:11:24,922 --> 00:11:27,570
You pour gas into the car using
one of these funnels, right?
245
00:11:27,571 --> 00:11:29,848
And I count how much gas is
going into the car.
246
00:11:29,849 --> 00:11:31,887
All right, let me just stop
you right there.
247
00:11:31,888 --> 00:11:35,331
How exactly are you planning on
counting a liquid?
248
00:11:35,332 --> 00:11:38,175
- I know how to count, dude.
- Okay, you do it, you do it,
249
00:11:38,176 --> 00:11:40,757
- Mac, because I can't speak to him.
- Free Market 101, you got to
250
00:11:40,758 --> 00:11:42,988
have customers to have a working business, right?
251
00:11:42,989 --> 00:11:44,773
- So we've got to attract attention.
- Yeah.
252
00:11:44,774 --> 00:11:47,784
I, for one, suggest me
blowing fireballs to get that attention.
253
00:11:47,785 --> 00:11:48,854
Fireballs?
254
00:11:48,855 --> 00:11:51,024
- Where is that coming from?
- No, rifling fireballs around...
255
00:11:51,025 --> 00:11:53,624
No, people will see it from
the street and pull in.
256
00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:55,236
They'll want to buy the gas.
We have ten containers of gasoline.
257
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:57,641
- Charlie, the lighter, please.
- What the hell... No, no, no.
258
00:11:57,642 --> 00:12:00,823
- Let me reiterate my strong opposition to this idea.
- Trust me, Dennis, I know what I'm doing.
259
00:12:00,864 --> 00:12:04,032
This is really unsafe, dude.
Do not blow that fireball...
260
00:12:06,963 --> 00:12:10,088
Wow. Okay, wow, I take back
everything I just said.
261
00:12:10,089 --> 00:12:12,018
That was amazing.
Oh, dude, I'm doing one of those, baby.
262
00:12:12,019 --> 00:12:13,862
- You can do it bigger?
- No, Charlie, let me...
263
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,955
Make sure it's bigger.
264
00:12:15,956 --> 00:12:17,578
Wait...
265
00:12:17,579 --> 00:12:19,146
Goddamn it!
266
00:12:19,506 --> 00:12:20,928
You burned my head!
267
00:12:20,929 --> 00:12:22,920
- Oh, I did. I burned him.
- Really?
268
00:12:23,290 --> 00:12:26,026
Easy, camper, easy, camper.
269
00:12:26,027 --> 00:12:27,935
- Jesus Christ! How can I relax?
- Relax.
270
00:12:27,936 --> 00:12:30,151
- OK, OK?
- Just stop. Just stop.
271
00:12:30,152 --> 00:12:32,932
Do you have anything other
than a towel and duct tape?
272
00:12:32,933 --> 00:12:34,272
Not really.
273
00:12:34,556 --> 00:12:36,696
New plan... we're going to a hospital.
274
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,328
you know what, bro, actually
we're going to be done
275
00:12:38,329 --> 00:12:41,175
with your plans for a little while. 'Cause
the system you set up, it ain't working.
276
00:12:41,176 --> 00:12:44,565
So I got a new system.
Me... both the brains and the looks.
277
00:12:44,566 --> 00:12:47,136
Charlie, you're still going to be the wild
card 'cause that fireball you blew was badass.
278
00:12:47,137 --> 00:12:49,316
It was great, right?
You just kind of got in the way.
279
00:12:49,317 --> 00:12:52,462
Mac, check this out though.
You're going to be the muscle.
280
00:12:52,744 --> 00:12:53,900
No, I...
281
00:12:53,901 --> 00:12:55,950
I think we've got to stick to
the paradigm that we set up.
282
00:12:55,951 --> 00:12:57,977
- The A-Team...
- No, no, no!
283
00:12:57,978 --> 00:13:00,245
- Your paragon is failing us, man.
- It's a paradigm, but yeah.
284
00:13:00,246 --> 00:13:02,649
- It wasn't working.
- It's not working.
285
00:13:02,650 --> 00:13:04,573
What happened was, we
confused your bossiness with
286
00:13:04,574 --> 00:13:06,910
braininess, and those two are
very different things.
287
00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:08,497
That is what happened.
288
00:13:08,498 --> 00:13:10,390
So, check it out.
Man, I got a new plan.
289
00:13:10,391 --> 00:13:12,468
- This is what we're going to do, okay, baby?
- Yeah.
290
00:13:12,535 --> 00:13:14,839
We're going to steal Frank's
rape van because driving around
291
00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,033
with all that gasoline is
ruing the interior of my car,
292
00:13:17,034 --> 00:13:18,949
- and I just... I won't have it.
- No.
293
00:13:18,950 --> 00:13:20,850
Then we're going to take that
van, and we're going to offer
294
00:13:20,851 --> 00:13:23,245
people something that gas
stations just can't offer.
295
00:13:23,246 --> 00:13:24,240
What?
296
00:13:24,241 --> 00:13:27,585
Gasoline directly to their
doorsteps.
297
00:13:27,586 --> 00:13:30,980
Door-to-door gasoline salesmen.
Oh, my God, that's amazing.
298
00:13:30,981 --> 00:13:33,428
- That's a brilliant plan, right?
- All right, whatever, fine.
299
00:13:33,429 --> 00:13:36,087
Then I'll be the muscle. I'll muscle
these pricks into buying the gas.
300
00:13:36,088 --> 00:13:38,484
Ooh, actually why don't you
muscle you way back by the van,
301
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:41,436
- because you look like a burned-up freak.
- You know what?
302
00:13:41,437 --> 00:13:44,385
A look is going to be a big part of this.
I'm going to get some disguises.
303
00:13:44,386 --> 00:13:46,321
Why would we need disguises,
Charlie?
304
00:13:46,322 --> 00:13:48,680
So people don't know who we
are, you know.
305
00:13:48,681 --> 00:13:50,770
They already don't know who we are.
306
00:13:50,771 --> 00:13:52,545
You're not letting the wild
card do his thing.
307
00:13:52,546 --> 00:13:54,640
Is there any reason behind
what you're doing?
308
00:13:54,641 --> 00:13:56,299
Wild card.
309
00:13:57,261 --> 00:14:01,060
Stewart's up on his second
shot on the fairway, hole 15.
310
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:04,048
I'd say it's about 195 yards.
311
00:14:04,194 --> 00:14:05,789
He has a seven iron.
312
00:14:08,432 --> 00:14:12,322
I mean, how has he been
sitting there watching golf for three hours?
313
00:14:12,323 --> 00:14:14,583
- I don't know.
- Is that a baby monitor?
314
00:14:14,584 --> 00:14:16,024
Oh, cut it off!
315
00:14:16,071 --> 00:14:17,992
Goddamn it!
316
00:14:17,993 --> 00:14:19,582
- Now he's suspicious of us!
- Oh, no!
317
00:14:19,583 --> 00:14:21,426
- You are such a bad hider.
- I'm a bad hider?
318
00:14:21,427 --> 00:14:22,565
You-you never could hide.
319
00:14:22,566 --> 00:14:25,836
I bet you still hide your money
in your sock drawer.
320
00:14:26,268 --> 00:14:28,516
- My sock drawer.
- Yeah.
321
00:14:28,517 --> 00:14:30,127
Come on. That would be stupid.
322
00:14:30,128 --> 00:14:31,317
- Yeah, you do.
- Just shut up.
323
00:14:31,318 --> 00:14:32,822
- You're lying to me.
- I'm not lying to you.
324
00:14:32,823 --> 00:14:34,556
- I'm getting out of here. This is a setup.
- What?
325
00:14:34,557 --> 00:14:36,750
You're setting me up, and I'm
getting the hell out.
326
00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:38,278
Frank, get back here.
327
00:14:38,279 --> 00:14:40,956
You're not gonna do this to me, girl.
Get out of here.
328
00:14:40,957 --> 00:14:42,737
- I understand what's going on.
- Damn it.
329
00:14:42,738 --> 00:14:43,825
Okay, they're on the move.
330
00:14:43,826 --> 00:14:45,400
- Hey. Son of a bitch.
- I know what's going on.
331
00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:46,622
You think I was born yesterday?
332
00:14:46,673 --> 00:14:48,569
- Okay, go, go, go, Mac, go.
- What are you talking about?
333
00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:50,339
Yeah, don't-don't lie to me.
334
00:14:50,408 --> 00:14:52,498
I have my ways of finding out things.
335
00:14:52,499 --> 00:14:54,457
You're being so...
Oh, my God.
336
00:14:54,458 --> 00:14:57,520
Is that a Muslim guy?
He's getting in my van.
337
00:15:07,945 --> 00:15:10,035
Come on, dude, seriously?
338
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,413
All right, well, just let me
do the talking.
339
00:15:29,414 --> 00:15:32,101
Well, I feel like you got to
at least talk with a Southern accent, man.
340
00:15:32,102 --> 00:15:34,804
I'm not gonna talk in a Southern accent.
It's bad enough that you wore this stupid disguise.
341
00:15:34,805 --> 00:15:36,734
But we're oil men.
We would have Southern accents.
342
00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:38,247
Yeah, but we don't need bolo ties and stupid hats.
343
00:15:38,248 --> 00:15:40,054
Yes, you do.
She's gonna think, uh...
344
00:15:40,055 --> 00:15:42,280
Hello, ma'am.
Well, what a lovely housedress.
345
00:15:42,281 --> 00:15:45,323
Yeah,
well, you're looking all sorts of good.
346
00:15:45,586 --> 00:15:50,221
Now, you seem like a sweet,
sophisticated, nice, busy, young lady,
347
00:15:50,222 --> 00:15:52,125
so we're not gonna waste
your time today.
348
00:15:52,126 --> 00:15:55,784
Nah. We're just a couple oil
men in from Dallas, and, well,
349
00:15:55,785 --> 00:15:59,845
we're itching like a hound to
give you a-something you want.
350
00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:05,039
What my
associate is trying to say is
351
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:08,004
that we're here to offer your
community a much-needed service...
352
00:16:08,005 --> 00:16:12,411
Hells, yeah! We want to feel you up, if'n
you were so inclined as to let us.
353
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:15,962
Please, let me do the talking.
Please, let me...
354
00:16:15,963 --> 00:16:19,385
Now, we ain't gonna take no
for an answer now, you hear? Okay?
355
00:16:19,386 --> 00:16:23,169
So don't be making me sic my
associate on you here, all right?
356
00:16:23,965 --> 00:16:29,641
He don't take kindly to "no."
So, can I feel you up or what?
357
00:16:31,350 --> 00:16:34,955
Yep, you best get to stepping,
because Johnny Law's a-coming.
358
00:16:34,956 --> 00:16:37,571
You might want to start
driving because she called the cops on us.
359
00:16:37,572 --> 00:16:38,611
Why's he talking like that?
360
00:16:38,628 --> 00:16:40,898
Well, wild card over here
decided to lose his mind.
361
00:16:40,899 --> 00:16:43,176
I say, I say, that's just
damn preposterous, boy.
362
00:16:43,227 --> 00:16:45,257
Well, now you're just
talking like Foghorn Leghorn!
363
00:16:45,258 --> 00:16:47,283
All right, guys, I think it's
time we cut our losses and go back
364
00:16:47,284 --> 00:16:48,932
- to the original plan.
- Ah, the generator.
365
00:16:48,933 --> 00:16:50,755
No, not the generator.
366
00:16:50,756 --> 00:16:52,625
- Storing the gas and patties.
- All right.
367
00:16:52,626 --> 00:16:54,850
Okay? It's too soon to sell
this gas anyway, so shut the door.
368
00:16:54,851 --> 00:16:56,582
- Go, go, go, go.
- Okay, okay, okay.
369
00:17:01,269 --> 00:17:04,121
All right, admit it, that
Muslim guy was gonna rub me out,
370
00:17:04,122 --> 00:17:07,650
and that's when you jumped out
of the van after I got out!
371
00:17:07,651 --> 00:17:09,465
Admit it, come on!
372
00:17:09,466 --> 00:17:11,306
Oh, my God, I don't know what
you're talking about!
373
00:17:11,307 --> 00:17:13,966
Oh, don't lie to me!
Come on, admit it!
374
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,710
Okay, okay, I admit it!
375
00:17:15,711 --> 00:17:18,026
- What do you admit?!
- I admit anything you want to hear!
376
00:17:18,027 --> 00:17:20,410
Now, you admit that Bruce
Mathis is a terrorist...
377
00:17:20,411 --> 00:17:22,521
- He's a terrorist!
- and that you are working for him!
378
00:17:22,522 --> 00:17:26,019
Yes, I work for him. We get our
information from the top, the top cave.
379
00:17:26,020 --> 00:17:28,863
Don't bullshit me!
That's all I got to say!
380
00:17:30,292 --> 00:17:33,698
Like what I'm seeing here,
Frank. Bring me up to speed.
381
00:17:33,699 --> 00:17:35,966
I'm waterboarding your
sister because she's
382
00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:38,475
- escalating the plot to kill us.
- Dennis, help me!
383
00:17:38,476 --> 00:17:41,049
Why the hell would I help you, Dee?
You're still plotting to kill me.
384
00:17:41,050 --> 00:17:42,998
- No! Help!
- Shut up!
385
00:17:42,999 --> 00:17:44,689
Shut up! Shut up!
386
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:46,723
- Yeah, shut up.
- Tell me what's going on!
387
00:17:46,724 --> 00:17:48,818
Hey, Frank, by the way, we
borrowed that pathetic rape van
388
00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:50,691
of yours; you got to get that
gas pedal fixed, man.
389
00:17:50,692 --> 00:17:53,755
Mac rammed into some dude's car,
like, five times. It was amazing.
390
00:17:53,756 --> 00:17:57,050
You guys took the van?
I thought it was some Muslim guy.
391
00:17:57,051 --> 00:17:59,365
- No, not really.
- What is going on in here?
392
00:17:59,366 --> 00:18:03,459
- Frank's waterboarding Dee.
- You guys?! You took the van?!
393
00:18:03,692 --> 00:18:07,011
- Well, hell, yeah.
- Oh, my God, I just realized something.
394
00:18:07,376 --> 00:18:09,540
Frank is the muscle.
395
00:18:09,571 --> 00:18:10,911
What?
396
00:18:10,912 --> 00:18:13,023
The reason that shit hasn't
been working out for us is
397
00:18:13,024 --> 00:18:15,838
because we are not working with
our full crew.
398
00:18:15,839 --> 00:18:18,515
I'm the brains, you're the
looks, Charlie's the wild card,
399
00:18:18,516 --> 00:18:20,776
and Frank is the muscle.
400
00:18:21,336 --> 00:18:24,140
- Well, what's Dee?
- She's the useless chick.
401
00:18:24,141 --> 00:18:25,343
Yeah!
402
00:18:25,344 --> 00:18:27,648
- You see? We complete it!
- Yeah!
403
00:18:27,649 --> 00:18:29,299
We all complete the team!
404
00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:32,141
Now, if we stick together, guys,
we can do anything.
405
00:18:32,142 --> 00:18:35,816
Now, question: Frank, does that
waterboard really work?
406
00:18:35,817 --> 00:18:37,821
You bet your ass!
407
00:18:37,822 --> 00:18:40,333
I got Dee to admit to things she
never did!
408
00:18:40,334 --> 00:18:42,011
Well, then it works.
409
00:18:42,082 --> 00:18:45,040
All right, then, gentlemen,
I got a new plan.
410
00:18:52,913 --> 00:18:55,532
Bruce's, we slip in and we grab him.
411
00:18:55,533 --> 00:18:57,058
Shouldn't you guys have
gotten these barrels out of the
412
00:18:57,059 --> 00:18:58,714
- van before we got in?
- They're really heavy, Dee.
413
00:18:58,715 --> 00:19:00,266
We've already had to do it, like, a million times.
414
00:19:00,267 --> 00:19:03,288
- Where'd you get the money for this gas?
- Dee, will you shut up and let me continue?
415
00:19:03,289 --> 00:19:05,726
Now, Frank, when we get back to
the bar, you waterboard the shit
416
00:19:05,727 --> 00:19:07,558
- out of Bruce and get a confession.
- No problem.
417
00:19:07,559 --> 00:19:09,766
Now, Dennis, you take that
confession to the police, use
418
00:19:09,767 --> 00:19:12,309
your charm and good looks, and
get that reward money.
419
00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:14,757
- Done and done.
- Okay, Dee, you continue to be useless.
420
00:19:14,761 --> 00:19:17,389
Charlie and I will use that
reward money to pay off our electricity bill.
421
00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:20,575
Then we'll probably buy some more gasoline
'cause I feel like that's a great plan.
422
00:19:21,712 --> 00:19:23,679
Wait.
Brakes don't... Brakes don't work.
423
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,238
- The gas pedal.
- No, I'm saying, no, the brakes!
424
00:19:25,239 --> 00:19:27,716
- Wiggle the gas pedal.
- Guys, why aren't the brakes working?
425
00:19:27,717 --> 00:19:30,734
Because I cut the brakes!
Wild card, bitches!
426
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,417
- What?! Charlie!
- Holy shit!
427
00:19:35,418 --> 00:19:36,804
- Oh, God!
- Oh, my God!
428
00:19:36,805 --> 00:19:37,844
Oh, God!
429
00:19:37,845 --> 00:19:39,185
Jesus Christ, guys, I can't
stop this van!
430
00:19:39,186 --> 00:19:41,175
- Seriously?!
- Abort! Abort!
431
00:19:41,879 --> 00:19:43,268
Go!
432
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:46,975
Mastersfield steps up to the
tee, eight strokes behind the leader.
433
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:50,331
Hole number 17, 338 yards,
dogleg left.
434
00:20:02,079 --> 00:20:05,054
Oh, goddamn it!
What the hell, man?!
435
00:20:06,170 --> 00:20:08,346
Ah, my van.
436
00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:13,502
Why is someone trying to ruin my life?!
437
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:16,010
I didn't do anything to anybody, man!
438
00:20:16,011 --> 00:20:17,759
I love that car!
439
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,874
That's, uh, that's not Bruce, is it?
440
00:20:21,242 --> 00:20:22,632
No.
441
00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,648
If there's something
strange
442
00:20:27,649 --> 00:20:31,423
In your neighborhood
Who you gonna call?
443
00:20:31,424 --> 00:20:33,481
Ghostbusters!
38623
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