All language subtitles for AJLT.s01e09.1080p.web.h264

Charlotte:
I am so excited about
your date with the teacher!

-That is one great head of hair.
-Well, okay, yes, it is a great

head of hair,
but it is not a date.

It is a do-over
between two people

who got sick
on one another.

Let's take
the romance out of it.

I think you just did.

-I should've gotten
the baguette thing.
-I should've ordered the soup.

(laughing)

So... I have a favor to ask,

and it involves manual labor,

and you two coming to Brooklyn.

Well... how can we say no?

-Oh!
-Oh, no, no. I'm asking.

-How can we say no?
-You can't.

We need a huge
turnout on Saturday

to finish painting
the women's shelter

I've been working
on with Nya,

and it would be so great
if you guys would come help.

I'm there.
And I'll bring the kids.

I'm a really good painter.

-Carrie?
-Oh, well...

when I was on stage crew
in high school,

they asked me,
"Please stop painting,"

so I will happily
write a check.

You can't be the white lady
who just writes a check.

If I can paint,
you can paint.

-You gotta change it up.
-Charlotte:
Speaking of change...

-Gotcha.
-remember how I was
still getting my period

very regularly for years
after you guys had stopped
getting yours?

It has been so long
since we'd heard
from smug Charlotte.

I was afraid
she'd retired.

-Well... I think I'm done.
-Mentioning it?

No, done done.

I haven't gotten
my period in four months,

so I think
I'm finally in menopause.

Welcome to the club.
Prepare to be sweaty.

Charlotte:
Actually, it's funny.

I haven't gotten
any hot flashes,

or breast tenderness,
or brain fog,

or any of those awful
symptoms you guys had.

I'm not being smug.

(knocks on door)

-Hello?
-Lisette: It's Lisette,
your downstairs neighbor.

Oh.

What, like there's
a Lisette from upstairs?

-(laughing) Hi.
-Hi.

I'm sorry for
the home invasion,

but just real quick,

um, I'm a jewelry designer,

and I wanted
to give you this.

I love a home invasion
with what I'm assuming

-is free jewelry.
-Yes.

Oh, it's pretty.

I would be so stoked
if you wore this out,

or, maybe, put it
on your Insta?

When Scarlett Johansson
wore me, sales spiked, so.

God, I just made
myself sick saying that.

I'm sorry.
It's what I have to do,
or it's back to modeling, so.

Please lower
your expectations
on those sales spikes.

-You know,
I'm just a lowly writer.
-No, hardly.

I'm obsessed
with your podcast.

-Oh, thank you.
-Yeah.

-I guessed a size five.
-If you say so.

Oh, that's pretty.
What is that?

Oh... this is
my wedding ring.

Oh, I didn't know
you were married.

I mean,
I've never seen him.

Is it, like,
long-distance
or something?

Well, yes, very.

I dated a guy
in Santa Fe once,

and we could not
make it work at all.

Well, is that it's,
it's not long-distance.
He died.

I just... haven't
taken it off yet.

Oh... I'm--

Again.
Practice your Torah
portion again.

-It's only two weeks away.
-But I don't wanna
have a Bat Mitzvah.

That's why you're
having a "They Mitzvah."

So, come on, again.
From the top.

-(phone ringing)
-Saved by the bell.

Hey, Anthony,
I only have a minute.

Anthony (on phone):
I only have
a minute, too.

Someone called in sick,

so I'm the hot fella today,

and if anyone has
a problem with it,

I'll see them in court.

I'm not done with you!

Is it okay
if I bring someone
I just started seeing

-to dinner Friday?
-Charlotte: Of course.

Is he...
appropriate for children?

I think so.
I can't find his dick
anywhere online.

-Okay.
-Anthony: Relax.

He's sexy, smart,
always reading.

I think he's read everything
that's ever been published.

-Lily (screams): No!
-What the hell?

I have no idea.
I, I, I gotta go.

Go...
That bread is
friggin' heavy.

I'm not paying
these guys enough.

-Lily: Oh no, no way, no!
-Okay, bye.

-Lily, what on earth?!
-Lily: No, no, no!

I just got my period,
and my tracking app

says that I'm gonna
get it again on the 21st.

Lindsay's pool party
in the Hamptons!

-Okay.
-(yells): Shit!

Okay,
let's just calm down.

Stop cursing.

I know you said
you'd rather die
than use a tampon.

Yes,
I would rather die
than use a tampon.

Well, these are
your choices.

You could either...
learn to use a tampon,

which I'm happy
to help you do,

-or skip the pool party.
-No!

Gah!
Shit! Shit, shit, shit.

-Rock, get back in here!
-Lily: Dammit!

-(door slams)
-Oy.

(indistinct chatter)

-You look especially
pretty tonight.
-Oh, thank you.

And you look especially
whatever acceptable,

non-polarizing
gender-positive compliment

-you feel comfortable with.
-(laughing)

You are a lot of fun...

-even with your
clothes on. Wild.
-(Miranda laughs)

-Sorry to interrupt.
-She's makin' me do this.
I'm so embarrassed.

Okay, we're, like,
your biggest fans,

and we know you're
eating right now,

but... but could
we get a quick
selfie with you?

-Aw.
-Yeah? Sure. Sure.
No problem.

-I can take it if you want.
-Wait, are you famous, too?

Oh, no, no, no, no.
I'm just... the girlfriend.

-Thanks.
-Fan: Thank you.

-Oh, okay.
-Here we go!

-(awkward laughter)
-Miranda: Cute.
Okay, here we go.

Nice.

-Again?
-O-Okay.

You really helped me
through some dark times.

-Ah, there you go.
-Perfect.

Oh, and you hooked up
with a friend of ours,
Melvin.

-Melvin DeGayo? In Buffalo.
-Mmm.

Fan:
And you slept with another
friend of ours, Aubrey,

-in the Twin Cities.
She's Australian.
-Mm-hm, mm-hm.

Okay, well, thank you.

-Thank you. Have a good night.
-Thank you!

-Thank you so much.
-Che: Yeah.

-Bye.
-Che: Take care. Oh, careful.

(Che laughs)

So, where were we?

-We were having fun. (chuckles)
-Ah, yes... that.

Yay, us.
(laughs)

(club music thumping)

I can't remember the last
time I waited in line. You?

-To get my vaccine.
-Oh, honey, I wish
you knew me then.

I got mine before
the President.

Well, listen,
while we're waiting,

can you take a picture
of the ring my neighbor

designed for me
to post on Instagram?

Sure, then you can
take a picture of me
waiting in line.

We'll send it to Ripley's
Believe It or Not!

I'm just doing this
to save her from a life
of high-fashion modeling.

Should I not be wearing
my wedding ring anymore?

I really have no idea.
See? No priors.

You know, technically...
I am no longer married,

and I am going
on that non-date
tomorrow.

You know, is it a--
Is it appropriate?

I guess what's appropriate
is however you feel about it.

I have never had
to bribe a doorman
to get into a hot club...

until tonight.

Why are we putting
ourselves through this?

Let's just,
let's just leave.

No, I really want
to go dancing tonight.

-It's my birthday.
-What?!

-Why didn't you tell me?
-I'm not a birthday person.

I don't want all the fuss.
I just wanna go dancing tonight.

You are not
bribing a doorman
on your birthday.

Let me handle this.

Excuse me.
Pardon me. Excuse me.

-Hi.
-Hi.

We've all seen that
scene in a movie

where someone tries
to talk their way
into the cool club.

I've seen it,
you've seen it.

We don't need
to do that scene.

We're both grown-ups,

but it's
my friend's birthday,

and all she wants
is to go dancing,

so could you please

just let us in for
a little while to dance?

We won't stay long.

We're at capacity.

So, I guess we're
doin' that scene.

That's really offensive.

Let's go.

-Was I just canceled
by a doorman?
-Mm-hm.

-Did you make a wish?
-Yes.

It had to do with the doorman
and erectile dysfunction.

(both chuckle)

Fifty-four.

I really thought 53 would
be the year I meet my guy.

I told myself,
"I'm 53. That's not 54,
which is so close to 55."

-Careful.
-But...

I guess, instead of meeting
my guy this last year...

I met an amazing new friend.

So... here's to 53.
Best year ever.

To 54...
and your new guy.

I'll take that.

Mm...

but whatever happens,
I think I'm good.

If I were to look
at my life

like it were an apartment
I were trying to sell,

it'd be pretty damn lux.

Okay, yes. I don't have
everything on the wish list.

No wood-burning fireplace
in the bedroom,

but I have
a killer floor plan,

lots of closet space...
and a breathtaking view.

Your fireplace is out there.

I just know it.

That's your birthday gift to me.

Hey, are you doing
anything on Saturday?

A client offered me tickets
to a matinee in the Public.

I can't.
I'm painting a house
in Greenpoint for charity,

and it's an all-day affair
'cause it's so far,

the subway has to go through
three time zones to get there.

I will drive you.
We're too young
for matinees anyway.

Why would you
ever do that?

Because if you get
lost on the subway,

who else will I not get
into hot clubs with?

Kids!
Uncle Anthony will be here
any minute with his new guy!

Ah!
Honey, you scared me.
What's up?

-Mom.
-Uh-huh?

-I'm ready.
-For dinner? Great!

-Go ahead. Pour the water.
-No, I mean...

(softly):
I'm ready to learn how
to put in a tampon.

-Really? Now?
-Yes, now.

Let's do it
before I change my mind.

Okay, yes, yes.
Let's do this.

-(doorbell rings)
-Oh my god, they're here.

Okay, uh, give me one second,

and I will meet you
in the bathroom.

-We're coming!
-(dog barking)

Welcome, welcome!

-It's so nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you, too.

Justin, this is Charlotte.
Charlotte, Justin.

Yes, come in, come in.

I just have to run,
and take care of one thing
really quickly.

Honey, could you
please make these
gentlemen some drinks?

I just have to deal
with something.

Oh, oh, and

take the challah
out of the oven, please,
in 10 minutes.

-Listen for the timer.
-You got it.

-Oh, is this a Jewish dinner?
-Mm-hm.

You know, the Holocaust
is a hoax, right?

(yells):
Get out!

(melancholy music playing)

♪ ♪

Okay, it's really very simple.

If you can feel it at all,
it's in wrong.

And the trick
is getting the right angle.

You want it to go
to the back, like this,

not straight up, like this.

What?!

No fair.

I was gonna be
the one to get here
embarrassingly early.

You know,
one of my superpowers
as a teacher

is this uncanny ability
to read facial cues.

Are you about
to tell me your dog
ate your homework?

Do kids still do
homework on paper?

No...
No, they do not.

We're not gonna have
dinner tonight, are we?

But I came here because
I didn't want to text you.

I feel so bad.

I appreciate that.

See, I went to take
off my wedding ring
before I came here,

and I'm sorry
for the rushed intimacy,

but it's the only way
to let you know that
this is not about you.

That's very kind.

Instead of putting
mine away...

I put John's on.

That's my husband's
name, John.

And this is
his wedding ring.

-I remarried myself
with a Band-Aid.
-I see.

Hey, you know, maybe
this dating thing with us
is a Band-Aid, too.

You know, for both of us.

We're tryin'
to cover up somethin'
that still hurts.

I still have Anne's
last voicemail on here.

I play it all the time.

-(softly): Oh...
-No, it's okay.

Well, Carrie,
that's strike two.

One more
and we're out.

Hey...
The best rejection ever.

You can do this, Lily.
You're almost there,

and you are gonna feel
so good once it's done!

Some people
like to put it in

with one leg
up on the toilet,
like this.

-(nervous chuckle)
-(whines)

Remember, there's really only
one hole that it can go into.

Do you want me to just...
show you on me?

Ew, gross, no.

Do not let a tampon
scare you.

You scare the tampon.
So that being said,
I'm gonna give

a little bit of
a rundown on tampons,
basically how-to...

Charlotte:
Just relax all
your muscles.

Picture butter melting...

and breathe.

You can do this...
or not.

The choice is yours.

Just stick it in!

Jam it up there, Lily!
Just do it!

-(knocks on door)
-Rock: Guys,
what's taking so long?

-Everybody's hungry.
-Honey, we have to take a break.

-It's just too rude
for our guests.
-It's in!

It is?!

I'm sorry I forgot
to check the challah.

I'm sorry that
took so long.

I'm sorry
I brought Justin.

(crunching)

Surprise.

It's your new favorite person
with your favorite cookies.

Oh my god.
Did we have a plan?

-Did-did I space?
-No! No, no, no.

I was studying at the library,
and was cravin' me some Che,

so I hopped
on the train, and...

Hello, you.

Mmm...

Mwah.

-Hm, hi... Okay.
-(chuckling)

(clears throat)
This is awkward.

-Um...
-Oh my god. Someone's here.
You're not alone.

Of course, you're not alone.
Is someone here?

Yes, someone's here.

-(gasps)
-Me... Yeah, I'm here.

I'm in the middle of writing
and I kind of wish

-you would've texted or called.
-It's not a problem.

-I'm gonna go.
-W-Wait, Miranda.

No, no, no.
It-it's fine.
I-I'm gone.

-And this never happened!
-What the fuck?

Miranda, stop!

Sorry, sorry.
Have your night.

I, I, I shouldn't have come.
So fucking stupid.

Who am I? Meg Ryan! Fuck!

Can you please stop?

-Why are you running
away from me?
-Why do you think?

Because I saw myself
and heard myself,

and now, I wanna get as far
away from here as possible.

-W-What is happening right now?
-(dog barking)

Miranda:
I have no idea.
I really don't.

I mean, I don't know
why I did this.

If-if you were a guy that
I had just started seeing,

I would never show up
at your doorstep

-with cookies unannounced.
-Okay, this isn't going to work.

What do you, what do mean
this isn't gonna work?!

No, no, no, no!
This has to work--

Please, please, just let me
finish my thought.

This isn't gonna work...
if you lock us into those

fucking limiting
relationship tropes.

You know, guys do this,
and, and girlfriends do that.

Th-This isn't cosplay.
I'm not a guy.

You're not my girlfriend,
and we're not dating.

We're not?
What are we doing?!

Okay, we are getting
to know each other.

-You and me.
-In my defense,

you keep saying I should
throw out the script,

and that's what
I thought I was doing.

I was tryin'
to be spontaneous,

-and, you know,
ditch the script...
-Oh.

-and do improv instead.
-Oh god,

please do not call
our relationship improv.

I suck at improv.
(chuckles)

I'm just kidding.
This is me and you.

Or you and me
if you want top billing.

Well, for this drama
on the stairs,
I think I deserve it.

-Hm.
-Okay.

Hey, to answer
your indirect question.

You are the only person
I'm sleeping with right now.

-Oh.
-Mm-hm.

Come here.

-Please come upstairs.
-No, I'm gonna go...

because that is not
what Meg Ryan would do.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

What about my cookies?

I am going to eat them
on the ride home.

(Che laughing)

Okay,
what's happened
to my life?

Now I'm waiting
in a line to paint.

Go. Go, go, go.
You don't have to stay.

No, it's for a good cause,
and I heard about this

Lebanese restaurant
in the area for lunch.

So how long do we have
to pretend to paint?

Seema, I am not
pretending to paint.

I am here to wor--
Look at me.
I'm wearin' overalls.

I see that.
You can just
write a check.

Oh, I, I am,
but I was told in no
uncertain terms by Miranda

I cannot be that
white woman that
just writes a check.

It is so hard
to be white now.

Hey, Luisa.
Carrie Bradshaw,
plus one.

Hi, Carrie.
Here you are.

Great.
This list, we're on.

Hey, you made it!
And you brought Seema!
Awesome!

Seema, I'll get you
one of the T-shirts
to paint in.

Luisa:
Okay, everyone's
working in pairs,

so you guys can start
in the bathrooms.

-Thank you.
-Okay, I'm gonna be over there.

Brown lady smoking
writing a big, fat check.

-Thank you!
-Carrie: My god, Steve came.

We were gonna do this
as a family event,

-and we're still a family, so.
-Well, that's very impressive.

Well, yeah, so is Steve.

-Hey, hey, Carrie!
-(laughing)

-You're wearin' overalls.
-Yeah, you betcha.

I'm here to paint
until someone says
to me, "Please, stop."

-What's up, Farmer Joe?
-Ahh, come here, you big lug.

Miranda (laughs):
Okay.

So, um, everybody's
workin' in pairs.

I call Carrie.
I mean, look at her.
She means business.

Okay, so it's
me and you, Brady.

-No, I'm workin' with Luisa.
-Oh, naturally.

All right,
I'll find a partner.

Oh, hi. Hi, everyone.
Oh, thank you for coming.

-Nya, this is Carrie.
-Oh, Carrie, hi.

Oh, I wish you were
meeting me on a day

where my head
wasn't exploding.

I just found out
the venue that was

donating lunch for everyone
thought it was next week.

-Miranda: Oh... sorry.
-Ooh, that's bad.

-Carrie: Well, we can-- Whoa.
-Nya: What the fuck is that?

Oh, wow.
Is it prom night?

Hi, hi, hi!
We made it!

-Aw, yep, there's
our prom queen.
-(laughing)

-Oh my gosh. Is this Nya?!
-Uh, this is Nya.

-Hi, I'm Charlotte.
-Hi, Charlotte.

-So nice to meet you.
-Nice to meet you.

These are my kids,
Rock and Lily.

And that is my friend,
Lisa Todd Wexley,
and her children.

-Nya: Oh, you're cute. Hi!
-(laughing)

-What's with the camera?
-Huh?

This is not
an Instagram
opportunity.

Full disclosure,
I ordered
a 10-passenger van,

-and this is what showed up.
-Oh.

Talk about tone deaf.

-But, Professor Wallace--
-Oh.

I am so moved
by everything
that you're doing,

and if you
would permit me,

I thought I'd
take some photos.

They're great
for fundraising,
and your website.

-That would be so helpful.
-Okay.

How bad do you feel?

-So bad.
-Mm-hm.

Oh, and my husband,
Herbert, is in there
finishing up a call,

but he does
the heavy lifting,

so if you need
anything...

-let me know.
-Well, if you could figure out

how to get me
lunch for a hundred.

My caterer's a no-show.

Uh, yeah, let, let me
see what I can do.

-Really?
-Yeah.

-Okay.
-Hi, Tony?

Gabby, can you go
a little faster?

We're only here
for a day, sweetheart.

Yeah, there you go.
Good job.

Good job.
That's nice.
That's nice.

Damn, that's some Grade A
fatherin' over there.

-This is so satisfying.
-I know, right?

Oh, yeah.

It's the stuff of life,
isn't it?

The stuff of their life.
Give you that.

Seriously, no pangs when you
see somethin' like that?

-That could be us.
-Andre... they came in a limo.

They probably have,
like, three nannies.

I'm guessing they're
not still renting.

Way to bring
down a vibe, Ny.

Until three years ago,

that man wouldn't
notice if someone left

a crying baby
in his guitar case.

I guess that...

switch was just flicked
by the Norman Rockwell

painting scene
over there.

Nya:
I think it's more like
he's programmed.

I mean, we keep having
these great conversations

where he accepts our life,

and then, he sees
a minivan commercial,

and he, he falls back into
what he's supposed to want.

Yeah, we're
all programmed.

I'm a grown woman,
and I'm still programmed

to be a girlfriend.
I can't stop checking

my phone every five minutes
to see if they still like me.

Yeah, well, then I guess
I'm programmed to say,

"Don't worry
'cause I'm sure they're
gonna text you."

(chuckles)

(loud music from car radio)

(music stops)

Excuse me.

What is all this
tables, and trucks,
and crap everywhere?

And why are you asking me?

You are sitting here
smoking a cigarette
doing nothing.

-You look like a boss.
-Well, you got that right.

So, boss...

what is all this mess
doing on my street?

Are you Mr. Bay Shore Drive?

You're funny.

You know what
isn't funny...

is all of these things
in the way of my club.

I noticed that.
Is it any good?

It's the hottest club
in Brooklyn.

Says you.

♪ ♪

How long did you
know about it?

I think she asked me
to help last week.

No, I mean, you--
about, you know,
her and...

this... Che.

You know, she, uh,
I guess, is they...

work at your podcast, right?
So...

did you introduce them?

Shit.

-Steve, this is just... so.
-Steve: Uh, no, no. I--

I'm, I'm sorry.
I-- No need to get
uncomfortable.

I'm just trying to get
some information here.

You know, this...
whole thing all
came up on me

pretty damn fast, and...

can you help me out here?

-I really had absolutely
nothing to do with it.
-Okay...

but...

did you know that Miranda
wanted to be with women?

Is, is there somethin'
she ever said to you?

No... no.
She, she never said that.

And really...
all I know is what
she said to me.

And what's that?

That it's not about
being with women.
It's...

It's about
being with Che.

-So... that's all I can say.
-Okay.

But, how long ago
did this thing start?

I mean, you gotta know.

-Ahh... Shit!
-Ooh, shit!

I'm sorry.
That's on me.
I--

-(blows) Fuck.
-No, no, no, no.
It's not your fault.

It's not. It's--
I just-- You know what?

I should probably
wash it off.

I'll be super fast.

Oh, so sorry.
Be right back.

Yikes.

-(clinks)
-(gasps) No! Shit.

No... no! God! Steve!

-Hey, what's the matter?
-Big's wedding ring!

His wedding ring just
went down the drain.

Oh my god,
can you help me?!

My god. The-- My--
I had a Band-Aid on it,
and it, it slipped off.

Oh my god, is it gone?
Is his ring gone?!

-Nah, it's, probably,
in the P-Trap.
-So, it's not gone?

I, I, I don't know
how plumbing works.

It's most likely in the trap.

I'll go find somethin',
open it up and see.

Okay, can you hurry?

Oh shit!

(power tools whirring,
hammering)

Mom, you're being too
careful and OCD about it.

-Just paint.
-Mom, help.
I'm freaking out.

My tampon string?
It's gone.

Oh, I'm sure it's not gone.

You're just having
some trouble finding it.

It's... gone.

-Let's go. Let's go!
-(horn honking)

The porta-potties
are right over here.

Porta-potties?
Gross!

Well, I'm sorry.
All the real bathrooms
are being painted.

Hey, Charlotte...
Lunch is ready.

(gasps) Amazing!

-Great work!
-Mom, it is an emergency!

Ugh, well,
I can't be rude, Lily.

Oh, please, please, please.

(sigh of relief)

-Oh my god! Thank you.
-Sure.

Ah... thank you.

Thank you, thank you.

Charlotte:
Any luck with the string?

Lily:
No, it's gone!
I'm not kidding!

It's not gone.
It-it's just hiding.

Usually, it's
in your tushy crack.

-Did you look there?
-Lily: Oh my god! Gross! No!

(heavy breathing)
There's no air
in here, Mom.

Mom?!
Mom, I can't breathe!

Honey, just calm down.

I-I'm gonna go get
you some water, okay?

Lily:
Okay, go! Hurry, Mom!

Oh, and not cold!
Room temp!

-Carrie: Thank you.
-Miranda: Thanks so much.

Mm. Mm, mm, mm.

Yummy!

Hey!
What's happening
with you?

I saw you running
in and out

of the bathrooms
all wired.

Do you have
a coke problem now?

No, I am in hell.

I have to help Lily
with her tampon.

She just started wearing them,
and it's a nightmare.

-Now, she wants water.
-Man, you're a good mother.

My mom never helped me
with all that stuff.

My sister taught me.

My friend Mindy
showed me at summer camp.

-No one in my house
used tampons.
-Really?

-(phone ringing)
-Oh my god. It's her.

It's like having
a newborn again,

but with a cell phone
and her period.

-Bye.
-Bye.

See, I couldn't
handle that.

There's no way.

-(phone ringing)
-Oh...

Oh, it's Che!

Are you gonna answer it?

No... I mean,
I want to, but I'm not.

I've been too
available lately.

Oh, so you're doin'
The Rules now?

You're gonna tell them you
can't go out tomorrow night

-'cause you're
washing your hair.
-Stop it.

-I'm just pulling back a little.
-Mm-hm, mm-hm.

Why didn't they
leave a voicemail?

-I know, I have a problem.
-Paint on your face.

Hey.

Hey.

What was all that before?

Are we 100% sure we
don't wanna try again?

Oh my god, Andre.
Have you met us?

(scoffs) Our entire
15-year relationship

has been about
me and you...

my work, your music.
That was our total focus.

I-- Well...
am I not allowed to pivot?

A child is not a pivot.

That's not fair to me.

Okay, well, this
isn't fair to me.

You keep opening this up.

I'm not 100%.

Andre, don't make this
miracle of us finding
each other not enough.

What?

Just say it.

I just feel...
that I want one.

And I don't know
if I should be
workin' so hard

to talk myself
out of that.

(sighs)

Lily:
I can't find it!

-Oh, I got it! I found it!
-Great.

-I'll see you back inside.
-Lily: No, don't go!
I need help pulling it out.

It always feels like
I'm pulling out
all of my insides!

Lily... I love you madly,

but I draw the line
at pulling out
your tampon string.

Pull your own string!

-Wait, Mom!
-Enough is enough!

No, really, Mom!
Stop! Come back!

-I have to tell you something!
-Everyone has their limit,

-and this is mine!
-Mom!

Oh dear.
Oh dear.
Charlotte!

-Oh, Charlotte!
Come here super quick.
-Hey.

I am ready to throttle her.

Just when I am finally
done with my periods,

I thought I would
not have to deal
with this shit anymore.

Well, you may not be
as done as you think.

-What, what are you doing?
-I'm just gonna...
wrap this around your waist.

I think you got
a flash period.

I did?!
Wh-What the hell is that?

It, it, it
happened to me once

months after
I thought I was done.

I was arguing
a case in court,

and the opposing counsel

literally signaled me
to look at my ass.

How have you never
mentioned this?

Repressed it
as soon as it happened.

Steve:
Hey.

-Got you some lemonade.
-Oh.

Thank you.

-How's that heart rate?
-(chuckles)

It's better, thank you.

Sorry, I just--

Oh... I panicked.

I get it.

This ain't never comin' off.

I don't care what Miranda does,
or with who.

'Til death do us part.

Steve.

What about you?

You are such
a wonderful,
wonderful person.

Don't you maybe
want to find someone?

At some point.

Never comin' off.

(rubbing hands)

(inhales, exhales)

(melancholy music)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(club music playing)

(indistinct chatter)

Welcome, boss.

-Carrie:
And just like that...
-Have fun.

I was up for a dance.

("Leave The Light On"
by shy niko playing)

♪ Oh, oh, leave the light on ♪

♪ Oh, leave the light on ♪

♪ Oh, oh, leave the light on ♪

Whoo!

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, leave the light on ♪

♪ Oh, oh, leave the light on ♪

♪ Oh, leave the light on ♪

♪ Oh, oh, leave the light on ♪

Whoo!

(snapping)

Oh!

(snapping)

♪ ♪

♪ Oh, leave the light on ♪

♪ Oh, leave the light on ♪

♪ Oh, leave the light on ♪

♪ Oh, leave the light on ♪

♪ Oh, leave the light on ♪

♪ Oh, leave the light on ♪

♪ Oh, leave the light on ♪

♪ Oh, leave the light on ♪

Whoo!

♪ ♪