All language subtitles for True Story s01e01 Rick.eng

- Stories.

- Since the dawn of time,
we've relied on stories

to entertain and enlighten.

- Be they tales of adventure,

love, loss,
or abject stupidity,

these sagas are passed down
through generations,

a grand catalogue
of our collective experience.

- But what about
those epic stories

only shared among
a small circle of friends?

How do they achieve
the legendary status

they so richly deserve?

- By being told here.

- Welcome to the ultimate
chronicle of humanity.

- This is "True Story
with Ed and Randall."

[dramatic music]

- Good evening,
and welcome to "True Story."

Real stories, real people,

real hosts
completely in the dark

about what
they're about to hear.

- That's right, Randall,
we know nothing

about the story
that's coming our way.

Not a clue.

The only thing we're sure of

is that it's going to be
a wild ride.

- Well,
and one other thing, Ed.

We know our storyteller's name.
Hi, Rick.

- Gentlemen,
thanks for having me.

I appreciate it.

- It's great to have you, Rick.

We can't wait
to hear your tale.

Is it a crazy story,
or is it a mellow story?

- Keep going.

- Is it an
absolutely insane story?

- It's all that.

You're gonna fall
right out of your seat.

[both laugh]
Telling you right now.

- All right.
That's a hell of a promise.

- Yeah.

- So where and when
does this story begin?

- Well, let's see here.
Let's go back to 1978.

[upbeat music]

I grew up on the north side
of Pittsburgh,

down by the stadiums.

We're big Steeler fans
in Pittsburgh,

as you probably know.

- How old are you?
- 24.

- What kind of 24-year-old
are you?

- Oh, I'm mild-mannered, calm,

as you can probably tell.

[laughter]

Pittsburgh's a--you know,
it was a steel town back then,

and, you know, blue-collar,
and so, you know,

we carried that right over
into the Steelers.

- Okay, so Steelers is a huge
part of Pittsburgh culture

and a huge part of your life,
it sounds like.

- Yes.
- These are your heroes.

- Not just mine, everybody's.
Bradshaw.

I mean, that guy could throw
a ball a country mile.

- Yeah.
- And, you know,

the whole theme that season
for us was...

was, whatever it takes.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Every season, like,

everything shuts down
on Sundays.

The Steelers are playing,
shut it down.

[machines beeping]

- What are you doing?
It's Sunday.

The game's on, you goons.

- God damn it!
- He's right.

- Time of death: kickoff.

[crowd cheering]
[sustained tone]

- And so what would happen was,
every Sunday, we would meet up,

and we would get the cases
of beer or whatever, you know,

and we'd go down to the stadium
in the parking lot.

We're notorious
for our tailgate parties.

- Who's we?
- Who's we?

[upbeat rock music]

- Me and my brothers.
I had a brother named John.

- Hey, Ricky, how's it going?

- There it is.
A brother named Kurt.

Hey, Cousin Mikey!
- Hey, Ricky! Bop! Bop!

- Cousin Mike.

- Bop, bop, bop!

- My older brothers,
Paul and George.

- Bo, bo, bo. My guys.

Careful, ladies.
These guys got something.

- So you're at a bar drinking.

- No, we're outside.
We were outside drinkers.

- Oh, okay. Okay.

- You get in a bar fight,
you know what I mean,

you don't know what--
you need room.

- Where are you drinking?

- Back then, it was called
The Log.

It had been there
since the '30s.

Generations of people I ran
into used to drink down there.

- And it's literally a log
that everybody sits on?

- It's a log. It's a log.

Hey, that was a good game
last week, huh?

- Solid.
- We beat the Redskins good.

Think they'll ever
change that name?

- No.
- No way.

- Okay, so that log's seen
a lot of stories.

- Oh, my God.
- What's your sob story, bucko?

- I'm an Eagles fan.
[record scratch]

- Whoa!
- The Eagles?

- Get him outta here!
- Who brought this guy?

- You looking
for a fight, buddy?

- That's just a regular day,
hanging out.

- It's a regular Sunday,
game day.

- Regular Sunday.
It's game day.

Right, right, right.
- Oh, it's game day.

So we're down there,
and we're talking.

Now, we had been
to a couple games,

and what we decided was--

in the beginning
of the season is, like,

hey, you know,
we're a part of this team.

We're a big part of this team.

- Listen up--
when we get out there today,

I want you to remember
one thing:

red eyes, full cans,
can't lose!

[all cheer]
- Let's go, Steelers!

- Who's got the tickets?
I'm just kidding.

We don't need tickets!
We're part of the team, baby!

- You know, that's how we felt.

So we shouldn't have
to pay to get in.

- [snorts]
- Did--did--

did the Steelers feel
the same way about you?

- We never asked.

[laughter]

- But you felt you were a very
important part of the team.

- Yeah.
- We knew we were.

Hey, can I tell
you guys something?

Sneaking into these
Steelers games with you goons

is the best thing in my life.

all: Go, Steelers!
[all cheering]

- You're also drunk out
of your minds at this point.

- So we're drinking,
and we're carrying on,

and having fun,
and we're, like--

we always would go
a little bit early.

- Well, boys, how we sneaking
into the game this week?

- Okay, one, two, three. Go!

- I'm up! Guys, I'm up!

- Because we wasn't sure

if we were going to climb
into the stadium...

* *

If we were gonna rush
the gate with 30 people

and lift the gate up.

George, pick it up. Come on.

Go, Steelers!

- Yeah, this isn't
"Mission: Impossible."

It's just,
"How do we get into the game?"

- Sometimes, it was, though.

- Yeah.
- You know?

- But you don't have a seat.
Do you just wander around?

- Who needs seats?
- Who needs seats?

- Who needs seats?
- But a lot of people

didn't like to be
in the nosebleed seats.

- Yeah.
- You know, and honestly,

that was the most fun up there.

And that season was
pretty good.

And so we'd just finished
the playoffs,

and we won the playoffs,
so we're going

to the Super Bowl,
and it's like, "We're going."

- The Steelers were going
to the Super Bowl.

- Super Bowl.
We crushed it in the playoffs.

- Where is the Super Bowl?

- It's down in Miami
at the Orange Bowl.

- Okay.

- So we were pretty excited
there, you know.

The only conversation was,

"We're going
to the Super Bowl."

- Did you have tickets
to this game?

- No.
- Okay.

- Why would we have tickets?

- All right.
- Man, we're part of the team.

- I love that thinking.
- They're part of the team.

- Yes, they are. They are.
I'm sorry.

- Does the team need tickets
to the game?

- No.
- No!

- Right.
- I think he gets it now.

- Okay.
- I get it now.

- Welcome to NBC Sports'
special coverage

of Rick Steigerwald
and his insane brothers.

- I'm Joe Jankowicz.

Alongside me as always,

my right-hand man
on my left-hand side,

Don "Big Bean" Green.

Big Bean, how we looking today?

- Beautiful, Joe,
frigging beautiful.

That's right,
tonight's the big game,

Steelers verse Cowboys

at the beautiful Orange Bowl
in Miami.

Joe, this is gonna
be a good one.

- Oh, you got that right, Don.

I am excited to see
the frigging legend himself,

Terry Bradshaw,
on the field tonight.

- You know what I'm really
looking forward to is,

what does Rick Steigerwald

and his brothers
have in store for us tonight?

- Oh, well, there is no denying
that they are definitely

the heart and soul
of this team.

- 100%.

I think they're really gonna
pull something out of the hat.

Joe, I can't wait to see
what it is.

- I didn't want to let it go
with just,

like, "Okay, we might
get tickets, we might"--

'cause I wasn't sure
of the layout too much.

So--but what I did do was,
I made a grappling hook.

- A grappling hook?
- You familiar? Like Batman?

- Yeah, I know what it is.

- How did you make
this grappling hook?

- Well, I'm a welder.

I had 3/4 carbon steel,
and I bent it.

I ground hooks on the ends
of the rods that I cut off,

and then I rolled them
into one.

I welded them together
and put a ring on the end

and tied a rope on it,
put knots in it,

and I'm gonna practice with it.

I don't want to get down there
and not be able

to throw it up there, right?

Size check.

[glass shatters]

It's too small.

* *

Size check.

- Ow! Rick, my head!
- Huh, too big!

So I went and made
a lighter one

out of 3/8 stainless steel,
which is a lot lighter,

and it was a lot stronger.

Third time's the charm.

[glass shatters]

Al dente!

- Don, Rick is not
messing around.

He's pulling out
all the stops tonight.

- And all the hooks--
slap some pigtails on him

and call him Goldilocks.

That third one was just right!

- So before you headed down,
you thought,

"I might need a grappling hook.

"Just gonna make one"...

- Okay, so you were all ready.

- I'm ready.
So we rented a Winnebago.

It was me and my brothers,
John and Kurt,

and my cousin, Mike,

and then everybody else
from the corner,

like, 10 people.

- Hey, Rick?

You think it's legal to have
this many people in a van?

- It's not a van.
It's a mobile home.

- Right.

- It's just a nonstop party in
the Winnebago on the freeway.

- Yeah.
- All right, so--

- Yeah. Yeah.

But I wouldn't have it
any other way.

- Are we almost there yet?

- Hey, Fritz,
are we almost there yet?

- Okay, so you head out.
You start driving to Miami.

- We drove all the way
down to Miami.

[upbeat rock music]

* *

Well, well, well,
look at us, boys.

The Steigerwald family
at the Super Bowl.

- Yeah, we worked hard
all year,

and we're finally here.

- Oh, Miami,
the Pittsburgh of the South.

- It's time to get
into the game.

You have
your grappling hook ready.

- Let's go, Steelers!

- I'll lock her up.
I'll lock her up.

And so I said to my brothers,

"Hey, I'm gonna go over there

"and see where
we're gonna get in at.

"You know, I'm gonna
set this up, you know.

I'll come back and get yous."

[imitates lock chirping]

Imagine if they had
those things.

And I get over there,
and I noticed

that there's
two sets of cops on horses

going around the stadium
from different ends.

- Right.
- So I'm like,

"How long's it take them
to get around here

until the next ones get here?"
So I was timing it.

- Yeah.
- And there wasn't--

you know, there was a lot
of people milling around

and whatnot, you know.

And all of the sudden,
I heard my name.

I have a nickname.
They call me "Stag."

- Whoa, Stag!
- Schmitty!

- Oh, man!
- Oh, my God.

This is incredible!
- Oh, it's been so long!

Oh, I miss the good old days.

- Oh, who doesn't?
Disco will never die.

- Never! What are you doing?

- Oh, I was gonna grapple hook
my way into the Super Bowl.

He goes, "I'm going with you."
I'm like, "Okay."

We looked at each other,
and we go, "We better go!"

- You know what,
I got a better idea.

Manpower!

- Threw it in the bushes,
the grappling hook.

One, two, ten!
- Oh, God, yeah!

- Once we got up on it,

I work construction,
I know how to climb.

- Yeah.
- I got to the top.

My buddy got stuck halfway up.

- Go!

Get out of here
before it's too late!

- No way!
No Steeler fan left behind!

Whatever it takes!

- I'm not gonna make it.
Go on without me!

- I had to hang back over
and lower my leg down.

Grab my leg!

- Ah!

- Ow, ow, ow.
My foot. My Achilles.

And I thought he was just
gonna hold my leg

and kind of help himself up.

He let go completely.

- [gasps]

- I'm on the other side
reaching, like,

I bent my leg the other way,

and I'm pulling up,
and my leg's bending.

Don't grab my leg.
Grab my hand. Grab my hand!

[dramatic music]

Come on, Schmitty!

So I'm pulling him back up,

thinking, "I can do this.
I can do this."

All right, you son of a bitch!

- I love you so much!

- Okay, go to the game.
Go to the game!

Hey, run in and get me a nacho!

It's gonna take me
a little time.

You really wrecked
my Achilles there.

Once we got him in,
we're standing up there.

There's 200 people
down there clapping,

watching us get
into the stadium.

We're like...
[laughs]

- You're in the Super Bowl!
You snuck in the Super Bowl!

- So the cops
just so happened to be...

- They were sitting
down there watching us.

When they made it back around,
they were watch--

sitting on the horse like...

- So you get in.
- Get in there.

- You're celebrating.
You feel great.

- That stadium's
practically empty.

both: And your brothers.

- Are still out
in the parking lot.

- Yeah, we're all--
hey, you're on your onesies

when things happen.

They know that.
- Hey, everyone's on their own.

- But they don't even have
the grappling hook.

[somber piano music]

- They don't have
the grappling hook.

- Yeah, okay.
Whatever it takes.

- I wasn't worried about them.

Whatever it takes.
- Yeah.

- Right, so anyhow,
we get in there, and he goes,

"Hey, where do you
want to sit?"

And I was like,
"Dude, if I went through

all that to get in here,
I'm sitting on the 50."

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

- And then, you know,
it started filling up.

That's when we started
to worry a little bit.

- Yeah, 'cause somebody's
gonna show up

with a ticket for your seat.

- So that's what we thought.

So everything's filling up

except for this row.

- Right.
- Then all of a sudden,

this guy comes up,
and I'm looking up at him,

and he goes,
"Hey, you guys have tickets?"

- Oh, no.

- I said, "Who are you,
the ticket taker?"

- Oh.
- But he goes, "No, no, no."

He goes, "This is--
our company from New York,

we have this whole row."

He goes, "And nobody's coming.

"They're all drunk
back at the hotel, hungover.

They're not coming.
You're welcome to 'em."

- Wow.

- I said, "Dude,
you're the best."

We're hugging him.

- Jackpot, right?
- Oh, my God.

- Now I'm really cocky.

And for a moment there,
I was a big shot.

- Yeah! This is your row.

- Pretty incredible, huh?

Guess who finds me?
My brothers.

all: Hey!
- Hey!

Look who it is! Huh?

Kurt, John, Paul, George,
Cousin Mike!

Dream come true
at the Super Bowl!

We're all here.

- They got in.
- They got in.

They bought a ticket
for 50 bucks, they got in.

- This is fantastic.
- It's fantastic.

- It could not be going better.
- Oh, it gets better.

- Wow.

- And now it's winding down.

The clock's winding down,
you know?

- Whoo!
- Let's go!

- Put up that steel curtain,
Pittsburgh!

- Wait, who's winning?

- Oh, it ended up,

we were crushing them.

And then
in, like, six minutes,

maybe a little bit more,

they came back
three touchdowns.

And it was, like, we ended up
winning, I think, 34-31.

- The Steelers won!
- But it's a nail-biter.

both: It's a nail-biter.

- Now it is. It wasn't before.
both: Yeah.

- So we're there,
and he goes, "Hey.

What do you think about going
down and getting the football?

The game ball?"

I said, "That's a great idea.

[laughing]
That's a great idea."

- He says one of the dumbest
things I've ever heard.

Your immediate response is,
"That's a great idea."

- I didn't think
it was dumb because--

- Right, because of everything
you've accomplished thus far.

- Well, plus, I want the ball.

I'm telling you, I'm gonna
sneak on that field

and steal the ball.

All right, Steelers!
Put up that curtain!

- Okay, so you hatched some
pretty extraordinary plans

just to get where you are.

Now you have to hatch
a new plan...

- On the cuff.
- To get this ball.

- There's cops lining
the whole thing, facing us.

- It's the Super Bowl.

- Well, it's the fricking
moment he's been waiting for.

Will Rick Steigerwald
keep the streak alive,

or will the night get messier

than a Primanti Brothers
sandwich?

- And the big question,
Joe, is,

can Rick penetrate the stout
defense of Miami's finest?

- It looks like the Rickster's
luck might get sacked.

- Oof.

- So we work our way
down the stands,

and we get to the rail.

I'm thinking to myself, "Okay.

How is this gonna work?"
You know?

As I was contemplating this,

somebody set off
one of them cannons.

[cannon fires]

Boom, I went right
under the thing.

I just held onto the one.
Boop!

And by the time that cop was
turning around to the fans...

- You were on the other side.
- No, I turned with him.

We were looking.
We were like...

- You were like,
"Who shot that cannon?"

[both laugh]
- Dude!

- Oh, what a dazzling move
by Rick.

We gotta take another look-see.

- The timing, the momentum.

It was like he was shot
out of that dang cannon.

- Oh, and look at this, Don.
Look at this.

Perfect improvisation
and synchronization.

I mean, you can't
teach that, Don.

That is something
that is only learned

on the mean streets
of the Steel City.

- You know, I wish I could be
a casual fan

instead of having to work
the field all day, right?

Then I could
really celebrate this win.

Whoop! Not a punch.
Didn't mean it.

Wouldn't--ha.
[laughs]

Boys in blue.

And he looked at me,
and he looked up

and down at me,
but I had, unbeknownst to me,

the same clothes
that the ball boys

from the Steelers are in:
sweatpants and a gold shirt.

Oh, get a load of this guy.
Huh?

How do we know
he's a real ball boy?

I feel like he just got here.

Maybe he climbed down
from the stands

and grabbed two balls

to keep as a souvenir
for himself and his friends.

Huh? I'll hold the balls.

You interrogate him.
We'll work together.

Ha-ha, just kidding.
We're best friends.

I turn around.
They're counting down.

Everybody is running
on the field.

I get out there, no ball.
I'm like, "What? No ball?"

- Get out where?
What do you mean?

- Onto the field
to get the ball.

- Well, Rick has made it
onto the field.

He's a man on a mission.

What do you think he's thinking
in his thinker right now, Don?

- Well, one, get the ball.
Two, don't get arrested.

But if he's a big boy
from the 'Burgh,

probably in that order.

- Well, he's making us
all proud.

Look at him go!
- Yes, he is!

- You were ready to tackle
a Steeler

to get this ball,
if you needed to.

- No, no, I'd have tipped it
out of his arm, got it--

I know he couldn't
have caught me.

- But you've got
a single focus.

- Get that ball.

- Where is this ball?
- Right.

Where's the football?
Where's the game ball?

And that lasted
until I looked,

and I see all the Steelers

running underneath
the stadium.

And I was like,
"I'm just gonna follow them."

The ball was out
of the picture.

It's gone out of my mind.
- Forget the ball.

- Maybe I'll run
into the ball in there.

- Right.

- But right now,
I'm going with them.

- Wait a minute, Don.
Wait a fricking minute.

Take a look at Rick.
He's got some fire in his eyes.

- Is he thinking about
dropping the ball?

- Oh, he's dropping the ball,
and not just metaphorically.

He's got his sights
on something bigger.

- We did it, all together
collectively as a unit!

- He could go all the way!

To the locker room!

- We go underneath the thing
and we get

all the way to the door,
and the media

is just like--woof.
- Okay.

- They were all going
in the doors.

As soon as we got to the door
with the media,

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!"
the security said,

"Whoa, whoa, whoa.

"We'll let you in.
Let them get settled.

We'll let you guys in."

And then I'm thinking,
"Uh-oh, I'm right here."

- He did it!

He made it all the way
from the stands

down to the tunnel
without a ticket.

Is it 1979 or what, Joe?

- There is no stopping Rick,
folks.

Whatever it takes.
- Whatever it takes.

- Don't blow this.
Be part of the media.

- You're a chameleon.

You just turn
into whatever you need to be.

- You had to be resilient.

- Whatever it takes.

- Right?
That's the mantra.

- Can you believe it, Don?

Rick has done it again.

He's blended in
with the media now.

I mean, he's one of us.

- Rick is a true master
of disguise.

- Well, let's see how the Stag
plays this one, huh, Don?

- So I'm just standing there,

and I'm, like,
right behind the guy,

and on his camera--
like these cameras here--

but he had, you know,
the walking one.

He had the light with a cord

attached to the top.

Soon as that door opened up,
I grabbed that cord.

I'm a cord guy. Rick.
I'm with the cords.

- He thought you were
a camera helper.

- I'm a cord guy!

- Yes, yes.
- You're the cord guy.

- Soon as we get in the door...

- And couldn't run 90 yards.

That was the difference,
I thought,

in the football game.

- Who's up on the podium?

Terry frigging Bradshaw.

- I'm gonna sleep tonight,
knowing that I just--

[triumphant music]

- Oh, my God.
[gasps]

It's you,
Terry frigging Bradshaw.

He shook my hand.

I could not believe
how big his hand was.

- Well, wait a second,
can you--when you met

Terry Bradshaw,
what was this moment for you?

- It was the best.

Like, when he shook my hand,

there was--like,
he engulfed my whole hand.

My man, what you did today
was incredible.

I mean, you're not a man.
You're a god.

You're a golden god
with a beautiful head of hair

that I got to tell you--
don't be worried.

It's not going anywhere.
I can tell.

[laughs]

And I just thought, "I just
shook hands with the dude

that just won the Super Bowl.

- I don't have a clue
who you are,

or how you got in here.

- Does it matter?
Today, we're champs.

- We definitely got to get
better security,

whatever it takes.

- Whatever it takes.

Yeah, that's right, Terry.

Thank you.

You know, he was looking
at me like, "Who are you?"

So I thought, "Time to go."
Right?

You don't wanna stay too long.
- Yeah.

- And the next thing you know,
out of nowhere,

out of nowhere,
I hear my name again.

"Rick, Rick, Rick!"

It's reporters
from the state of Washington.

'Cause Rick Moser
went to Washington State,

or something like that,
right, from what I understand.

He's gone already.

He came in,
changed his clothes, and left.

'Cause he didn't play.
He was pissed.

- Please don't tell me
that you just turned

into Rick Moser in this moment.

- Well, so...
[laughter]

When in Rome.

So I gave them an interview.

- What the hell are you saying
in this interview?

- Just bull-[bleep].
[laughter]

I would be a liar if I told you

that I didn't dream
of this every day, all season.

They're eating it up.
They're writing it.

And don't get me wrong,
adversity does pop up.

But that's when you got
to hop over that wall.

We planned it that way.

Get onto the field,
no matter what.

We had been
to Super Bowl before.

We know how to get there,
and we know how to win.

Okay, I want
to thank my teammates.

I'm nothing
without my teammates.

That's everybody. That's Terry.
That's Franco. That's Lynn.

Whatever it takes,
we're going to win this game.

Because we were willing to do
whatever it takes.

- Convincing.
- Yeah.

- That's a perfect interview.

- And all a sudden,
out of nowhere,

after ten minutes of this,
one of the reporters says,

"Oh, hey, Rick, we really
appreciate you doing this."

He said, "But, you know,

we know you want
to take a shower."

I'm thinking, "Shower?"
I was like, "Yeah. All right."

- You just go wherever
there's an opening.

- Thank you, sir.

- I did not expect this story
to take a turn into a shower.

- Me neither.
- I go over.

The towel boy gives me a towel.
Now, I'm 5'6".

When I walked into that shower,

it was like, like, giant land.

- Hey, what's your name?
- Uh, my name?

- Yeah, who are you?
- Who am I?

Who am I?

Well, that's a really
good question.

I'm just a regular guy
from Pittsburgh

who is having the best day
of his frigging life.

I mean, think about it.

There I was with my brothers
in beautiful Miami.

I snuck into the Super Bowl
and got the best seats

in the house.

Then I made it onto the field,
and somehow,

by the grace of G-O-double D,

I ended up showering with
the black and gold themselves.

I rubbed my eyes because
I couldn't quite believe it.

Then I pinched myself to see
if I was dreaming.

So I'm standing beside,
I think it was LC Greenwood.

It was one of the bigger guys,
and he's looking at me like...

- [laughs] Who are you?
- And I said, "Hey"--

It's Rick frigging Steigerwald.

Chuck Noll's nephew?
Chuck Noll.

Coach of the Steelers,
ever heard of him?

- Oh, my man.

Hey, guys.
It's Chuck's nephew.

He's here to take
a shower with us.

My man. Nice to meet you.
Welcome to the showers.

- This is the best shower
of my life.

- But why would he--

his nephew be taking
a shower in there?

- Right?
- Why...

- Why not? Why wouldn't he be?

- I guess so. I guess.

- Everybody knows somebody
knows somebody

knows somebody
that needs a job.

- Somebody knows somebody
knows somebody

that needs a shower.

[laughter]

- So I'm taking a shower.

I walk out of the shower,
go back out.

I get back up on the bench.
I'm cleaning between my toes.

And next thing you know,

I see out of the corner
of my eye, I hear--

- Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Who the frig are you?

- And I look at him, I said,
"Who the frig are you?"

- Is there an echo in here?

I'm Tony Parisi.

I'm the Steelers'
equipment manager,

and you are not a Steeler.

- Well, Tony Parisi,
who died and made you

in charge of who is
and isn't a Steeler?

- I made myself in charge

of finding out who's a Steeler
and who's not,

and you are not a Steeler.

- You know, I would punch you
in your stupid face,

but I don't want to get grease
on my new championship ring.

- Oh, you want to punch me?

You want to punch me?
I'd love to see you try.

- You'd love to see me try.

Hey.
Hey, get a load of this guy.

He wants to see himself
get punched.

- Rick, you're just, like,
a wrecking ball

moving through the world.
[laughter]

- You think you're a tough guy?
- [scoffs]

I know I'm a tough guy.

- Yeah, well, you just
met a tougher one.

Bing, bam, boom.

- Yeah, that doesn't scare me.
Now, look.

You had your fun.
Now, you gotta go.

Come on, let's go. Guys.

- And when he went to grab me,
I went like this, like,

"You better back off me,"
like that.

He goes, "That's it.
I'm going to get security."

I said, "Get a couple of them.

Get a couple.
You're gonna need them."

- How dare they get mad at you
or call security.

How dare they.

- And they come over,
and I'm on that bench.

And they are, like,
still 6 inches taller than me.

Let's end this nonviolently.
Okay.

All right, okay,
let's end this violently.

- Shh!

- They said,
"That was awesome, dude."

You guys are fans?

They slapped me five.
- Yeah.

- And I walk out, and I'm like,

"I can't believe
I just did that."

Right?
And all the sudden, I look up.

I'm still
underneath the stadium.

There's two lines of people
going all the way out

to the bus of the Steelers
with autograph seekers.

I'm like,
"This ought to be fun."

- They just saw you walk out
of the locker room,

and they're like,
"This guy is important.

We want his autograph."
- Right?

- So you start
signing autographs.

- Rick Stag.
[both laugh]

Bing. You got it.

All the way to the bus.
The bus guy opens the door.

I step up on the bus.
I got a picture of it.

Bradshaw is right
in front of me,

and I go, "Dude.

That was the best game
I ever seen."

Let me borrow this real quick.

Hey. Everybody on this bus...

I said, "You guys are badass,
frigging A."

And I hope you're proud
of yourselves

'cause I know that I am proud
of every single one of yous.

I mean, you made that
other team look like

a bunch of jagoffs.

If I could, I'd take you
all down to Vinny's right now,

get you a cut of pepperoni,

get you a handful
of Yuenglings.

I hope that you know
that every Pennsylvanian

from Allentown to Shadyville
is singing your praises.

And that song is ringing true

from every bridge
in Pittsburgh, all 446 of them.

God bless
the Pittsburgh Steelers.

God bless
the United States of America.

[inspirational music]

* *

And I turn--they're all
looking at me like...

- Wait. Who was that?

- I think that was
the coach's nephew, maybe.

Show some respect.

- I walk from here to the end
of the studio,

and that's where
the Winnebago was at.

- Hey, jagoff. You left us.
Where'd you go?

- No big deal.

Just walked onto the field,
into the Steelers' locker room,

took a shower with the team.

He goes,
"Get the--out of here."

I said, "Smell my hair.
Still wet."

Then I went onto the bus.
- How? How? How?

- And I stole one
of the player's cameras.

I got it all right here.

I looked Terry Bradshaw
right in his eyes,

and I did exactly what I said
I was gonna do.

I asked him
if he wanted to be roommates.

- What did he say?
What did he say?

- Uh, no.
[laughter]

And the next morning,
we wake up.

We had to call into my dad.

Dad, it's Rick. We're alive.

We had to check in.

He just wanted to make sure
we weren't dead.

- You know, there's an article
in the paper this morning.

Some jamoke snuck into
the Steelers' locker room

after that game last night.

There's no names,

but I'd recognize
that mustache anywhere.

- And my dad said,
"[bleep] Ricky."

- Yes.
- Yes.

- Whatever it takes, old man.
I love you.

- Rick, you can talk to Dad
when we get home!

Get in the van!

- Hey, Rick,
did you get any money

from the locker room?

'Cause we have none for gas.

- And that's the end
of my story.

- Thank you, Rick.
- Yes, thank you.

- That was so awesome.
- What a great story.

- Man, I can't believe
that happened to me, right?

And I'm sitting here
to tell it with you two guys,

the best two guys
there could have been.

I'll never forget it.

- Well, thank you
for joining us, folks.

Hope you enjoyed
the Super Bowl and Rick.

- Ha! It was one to remember.

I've been Don Green.
- I'm Joe Jankowicz.

- Up next, Winter Olympics.

Hungary, huh?

- Want to, uh, maybe watch
some downhill skiing

on the Olympics
and have a couple beers?

- Yeah.

[upbeat music]

* *

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