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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0:05 [Music] 0:24 okay 0:27 [Music] 0:31 for this 0:35 Oh 0:36 [Music] 0:38 [Applause] 0:45 [Music] 0:50 Oh 0:51 [Music] 0:54 [Applause] 0:55 yeah 1:01 [Applause] 1:02 [Music] 1:04 [Applause] 1:07 Jerry Seinfeld 1:09 [Applause] 1:16 [Music] 1:21 [Applause] 1:27 thank you thank you ladies Gemini was 1:29 very very nice on the Mount Rushmore of 1:33 stand-up comedy there are four phases in 1:36 my opinion Richard Pryor George Carlin 1:38 Bill Cosby and Don Rickles 1:46 Don has been my dear friend for 20 years 1:49 and my hero in this business since the 1:51 first time I ever saw him in the early 1:53 60s the first time Don and I were ever 1:56 in the same room together was in a 1:57 casino in Las Vegas I went to see his 2:00 show I was in the audience and he had a 2:02 guy who would find out what celebrities 2:05 were there I was just starting and 2:06 stand-up he didn't really know me the 2:09 guy asked me what my name was they took 2:10 a note up on stage that Don introduced 2:12 me to the audience as George Stanbury 2:15 I went thank you so why are we honoring 2:23 a man who has spent 55 years insulting 2:26 all of us that's like tracking down the 2:30 guy who beat you up in fifth grade 2:31 recess to say hey that was a great punch 2:34 we honor dawn because because it takes a 2:37 genius to pull off what he does by 2:40 pitting himself against his audience 2:42 he's performing an act that on any night 2:44 could result in catastrophe it's no 2:47 wonder he chose the spanish matador 2:49 theme as his song on stage his is not an 2:56 act in any traditional sense it's just 2:58 him a mic and his innate ability to know 3:01 who we can have fun with in his audience 3:04 if everything that Don does whenever he 3:07 speaks with someone that's ringside for 3:09 some reason there's always seems to be a 3:11 lot of Mexicans Hindus Chinese guys I 3:14 don't know how they get there I'm sure 3:15 it's a complete coincidence that those 3:17 people are always seated ringside but he 3:21 will always begin with them by saying 3:23 and what is your heritage sir 3:25 like the guys like well he's asking 3:28 about my heritage he obviously respects 3:30 my ethnicity and background I'm sure 3:32 this will not result in my being 3:34 humiliated in front of this entire room 3:37 he performs in the moment creating 3:40 unique comedy masterpieces with each new 3:43 and different crowd what he does takes 3:45 the three T's talent timing and 3:48 testicles 3:51 and here's the thing about testicles 3:53 they're really a crucial part of the 3:54 joke reproductive system and there are 3:58 people out they would think because I 3:59 mentioned balls I'm being sexist but 4:01 we're honoring Don Rickles tonigh the 4:05 role that goes out the window 4:11 I might even call Tina and Amy broads 4:14 before the night is over and I may wait 4:16 24 to 36 hours to apologize 4:21 but Don really makes it look easy and 4:23 tonight we're not just honoring Don for 4:25 being the best at what he does but for 4:27 being the first to do it on such a large 4:29 and varied scale he left his mark on TV 4:32 sitcoms movies records talk shows and 4:35 the live stage but it's the stand-up 4:37 that I love more than anything and I 4:40 think that the reason he's so beloved I 4:43 still enjoy watching him perform I still 4:45 in awe of him and for this member of the 4:48 World War 2 Greatest Generation I think 4:50 we can all remember fondly done 4:52 describing his service in the South 4:54 Pacific when he finds an Asian guy in 4:56 the audience and says three years in the 4:58 jungle trying to find your uncle 5:07 to be insulted by down as a badge of 5:09 honor one shared by common folk as well 5:11 as a few very lucky commanders and chief 5:14 perhaps the most memorable of the many 5:16 times he performed for president was 5:18 when Don took the stage as Ronald 5:20 Reagan's second inaugural in January 5:22 1985 the White House that asked Frank 5:25 Sinatra to perform Frank insisted he 5:27 would only do it if Don was also booked 5:30 sure the gun didn't hurt either in that 5:32 little negotiation Sinatra got his way 5:38 and thank God because we got to witness 5:40 one of the great moments of Don's career 5:41 here it is I know this is a Republican 5:47 celebration but I have the honor of 5:50 introducing a man who was so democratic 5:53 he picks on everybody equally even a 5:56 little kid like me mr. Don Rickles 6:01 [Applause] 6:02 [Music] 6:09 [Applause] 6:10 [Music] 6:12 [Applause] 6:13 [Music] 6:16 be funny 6:27 good evening mr. president nice to see 6:30 you sir and your lovely wife Nancy it's 6:32 a big treat for me to fly always 6:34 California to be here for this kind of 6:36 money I can see his secretary shields 6:43 what are you doing in town anyway 6:47 he's sitting there like there's nothing 6:49 going on and get busy over to the 6:53 embassy have a bucket of beluga anyway 6:57 secretary states here and Billy Graham 7:00 nice to see you sir 7:02 this hand is bothering me anyway it's 7:08 great I make fun of the president why 7:10 not I make fun of everybody no that's 7:12 America laughing Charlton Heston I'm a 7:14 friend it's over I'll pay it in if you 7:18 were Moses I was a Mau Mau fighter pilot 7:21 [Applause] 7:22 interface Ronnie anyway he's sitting 7:27 there looking at the program going where 7:29 is he sir he makes fun of me what does 7:31 it say that every when your government 7:34 used to look over to my table now you 7:37 think you're getting on my nerves 7:38 I'll take it in NZ laughing 7:44 if you see Marines coming towards me 7:46 going the glory glory hallelujah and 7:48 shoot Webster anyway 7:53 I must say this is a joyous occasion 7:56 really 7:57 I personally voted for Wilkie but I'll 8:00 tell you this to you mrs. Reagan lovely 8:03 mrs. Reagan to you our dear president 8:05 may God be good to you in yours becoming 8:08 four years and beyond that you're a 8:10 great gentleman and a great credit to 8:11 the country may he give you help the 8:13 Almighty and may you reign as long as 8:15 you wish god bless 8:23 I love that he's wearing the credentials 8:25 through the whole set there that was a 8:27 nice touch 8:28 Shoji he really didn't feel like you 8:29 belong ladies and gentlemen it is my 8:32 honor to introduce the man of the hour 8:35 mr. Dunn Rick Oh 8:43 [Applause] 8:44 [Music] 8:45 [Applause] 8:52 [Music] 8:53 [Applause] 9:02 [Music] 9:03 [Applause] 9:09 you 9:23 ladies and gentlemen Joe Stewart 9:28 [Applause] 9:38 thank you very much welcome everybody 9:40 dawn 9:45 one night only that's all the doctor 9:47 said no all right well 9:53 I'll keep my remarks brief 9:58 if there's one thing that we can learn 10:00 about tonight and I think this is true 10:03 we knew somehow the Jews would find a 10:07 way to gentrify this neighborhood and I 10:09 think 10:11 [Applause] 10:16 we stay long enough we start collecting 10:18 rent this is how we do it this is what 10:20 we do tonight is about it's about 10:25 healing this is it makes sense 10:27 the Jews the Don and I Jews to come into 10:30 community upon this theater has such 10:33 history and it's such a beautiful 10:35 theatre thank God 10:37 Spike it all up by taking the seats out 10:41 so he's best to honor a place by 10:44 redesigning it 10:51 this is where the healing begins this is 10:53 what because the Jewish community in the 10:55 black community we should be together 10:56 Jews and blacks should should we 10:59 shouldn't fight whether there shouldn't 11:00 be tension Jews and blacks should should 11:02 get together and and and get whitey III 11:06 think huh 11:10 normally kills here all right 11:15 wrong wheel done I don't know what 11:17 happened I was doing great yeah my 11:19 swingman by the way you're really 11:20 getting laid tonight 11:21 nice job done good luck out there 11:24 tonight 11:28 no Jews and blacks we come from the same 11:30 history 2,000 years of persecution we've 11:34 just expressed our sufferings 11:35 differently as people blacks developed 11:38 the blues Jews complain we just never 11:42 thought of putting it to music 11:48 remind me of a blues song my grandmother 11:50 wrote called it very drafty in here it 11:56 was fall 12:00 you might be more familiar with the B 12:02 side now it's too hot she-she-she was 12:07 very hard to please why are we here 12:12 tonight we're here tonight no one wants 12:13 to be where everybody's tired we're 12:15 tired we work do you want to be here I 12:17 don't want to be here I worked all day 12:18 but you know why I'm here because of 12:20 this man this man is long I love this 12:24 man 12:28 and he's got here's the most amazing 12:30 thing about down ribs is inherent 12:32 decency she is such a good in an 12:35 indecent man and comedy for him for 12:38 younger comedians we admired the way 12:41 that he battled the audience that he 12:43 stood up for us comedies is gladiatorial 12:46 and Don was the first guy to get up 12:48 there go No 12:49 I'm up here I'm gonna fight you 12:52 hand-to-hand and he gave us he gave us 12:55 hope and and humor is indelibly within 12:58 him it's all he is I'm gonna tell you a 13:01 story this is just Don he doesn't even 13:03 realize it because it's so effortless he 13:05 was doing my friend Jimmy show Jimmy 13:07 Kimmel and after the show he was leaving 13:11 and you see Don when he's walking he's 13:12 paying attention to where he's going and 13:15 he's walking very slowly and there's a 13:17 segment producer on Jimmy show a bearded 13:19 guy long beard and he had to run up you 13:22 had to get down to sign the form as it 13:24 was gone 13:24 Don is just walking and the guy's 13:26 rushing up behind him and Don he's never 13:28 looked up he's just got his hands in the 13:29 ground and as the guy passes without 13:32 even looking up Don says pleasant 13:34 evening rabbi 13:38 [Applause] 13:43 he is comedy he is what we all aspire to 13:48 be a man who has done what he's loved 13:51 for 55 years and made us love him for 13:55 doing it and made us love an even more 13:57 by knowing who he is as a man so I'm 14:00 honored to be here tonight to honor you 14:02 [Applause] 14:11 [Music] 14:14 of next on one-night-only and off our 14:18 comedy tribute to Don Rickles his 14:20 old-school old sofas on a cigarette no 14:22 ice in a glass and no condom he got his 14:26 ladies pregnant one table from across 14:27 the street with a slingshot 14:30 one night only and also drama 14:32 distributed Don Rickles is brought you 14:34 by Captain Morgan original spiced drop 14:37 to light love and Luke 14:40 Burger King where tasteless cake and by 14:45 the 2014 Dodge Dart 14:48 horn Dodge 14:50 [Music] 14:53 [Applause] 14:55 ladies and gentlemen please welcome 14:57 Tracy Morgan 15:00 [Applause] 15:07 [Music] 15:08 [Applause] 15:10 [Music] 15:12 I guess you guys are wondering why what 15:17 this bouquet of flowers for dime a few 15:23 years ago I had a serious health problem 15:24 I didn't understand because I always 15:27 treat it my body like a temple 15:33 now ended up having to have a kidney 15:35 transplant and uh when I was in the 15:38 hospital out of the blue I got this 15:39 amazing flower arrangement from dawn now 15:44 I may not know this but I'm a very 15:46 emotional guy when those flowers came on 15:50 one of the my greatest comic heroes it 15:52 meant so much to me 15:53 darn you never know what those flowers 15:56 to depict me up and pick my spirits up 15:59 and make me feel that if a legend like 16:00 you could care about me just maybe maybe 16:03 I should just get better you know to 16:07 this day I carry with me this card that 16:10 he sent me this card right here give me 16:15 a minute this is our dear Tracy I hope 16:21 you get better but I still don't want 16:23 you coming in on our home games oh this 16:26 one is from Dawn sterling 16:30 song still 16:36 by the way by the way talk about Don 16:41 sterling if I owned the team like the LA 16:43 Clippers who lost for 30 years I hate 16:45 that people talk so darn easy flowers 16:52 are for you we were worried about you 16:55 you know you had that flesh-eating 16:56 disease on you on your lake home incra 16:59 nighters four sheets at itis which 17:01 sounds like a couple of black girls from 17:03 the neighborhood never salmon to see the 17:06 island y'all better stop jumping on a 17:08 bunk bed turn the ColecoVision ball and 17:14 I thought I had the same disease too but 17:16 it was just an electronic bracelet 17:18 digging into my ankle just fair but 17:25 here's what I'm I most about Don Rickles 17:27 he's fearless he doesn't apologize to 17:30 anybody 17:30 he's old-school no filters on a 17:33 cigarette no ice in a glass and no 17:35 condoms he got his lady pregnant one 17:39 time from across the street with a 17:40 slingshot you know took out three houses 17:43 at the same time 17:45 that's old-school some people wanted 17:52 Arne to apologize that he made a joke 17:54 about President Obama had a tribute for 17:56 Shirley MacLaine and he feels because it 17:58 was a joke who are these people to think 18:01 that black people can't take a joke how 18:03 do you explain Herman Cain 18:12 so down I'm here because you know you 18:14 always make me laugh and everyone 18:16 laughing because you know you're a man 18:18 of principle when I needed a kidney you 18:21 show me you have the world's biggest 18:23 heart but you know why I love you the 18:27 most darn you never discriminated I love 18:33 you man 18:35 [Applause] 18:50 the blacks the wife the purpose mostly 18:53 the blast 18:55 funniest thing for me is watching people 18:57 respond because they sort of act like 19:00 they're a little bit indignant but you 19:02 know they're so glad that he picked them 19:04 I'm on the kidney above the black people 19:07 belong in this country Chinese Japanese 19:13 Filipino my answer a three years in 19:19 the jungle looking for your uncle 19:20 everybody wants to get on by Don 19:23 Rickles what am I bid for this broad 19:25 before I introduce look at it the old 19:27 guy won 19:31 oh it's very offensive but that if 19:34 you're in the comedy I have based my 19:35 whole humor on laughing at bigotry 19:37 classical chamber ha ha ha ha ha but if 19:40 you don't let back it's not funny 19:43 get your wife sir Jesus 19:48 [Applause] 19:50 or was it trained and I love the Italian 19:53 people 19:54 I don't forget the word of karma and 19:56 anger nuns oh who said to me in Brooklyn 19:57 on a Saturday night 20:03 no caste economic you and Sammy you're 20:06 black 20:07 I'm sorry 20:11 you know I never I never tell the truth 20:13 ident right I make fun of blacks whites 20:16 Jews Jews 20:19 Chinese right Chinese this girl here if 20:22 you're not get your eyes fixed the 20:26 Chinese for technical booth Chinese go 20:28 time Phyllis Diller was dumb and rules 20:30 and she was born God ran out of clay and 20:33 made her face trick-or-treat Charlie her 20:37 former husband said on the wedding night 20:41 Paul Newhart made the claim that he was 20:43 my closest friend I have never met Bob 20:48 I'll put it in another way Bob Newhart's 20:50 those two many gay parties 20:58 I like you very much toilet 21:02 I like you all and I thought I would 21:03 like you 21:05 lisa donn because we could be married in 21:07 an hour 21:10 it's in your life right Sam be proud 21:13 lovers we kiss we hug 21:15 any black of my lips 21:19 don't write that is folks we cover em 21:22 all 21:26 [Applause] 21:31 [Music] 21:33 he has no idea where he is now he is 21:36 walking around and hoping that barber 21:38 can read a Filipino to help wash them 21:41 see that's and that's done that circle 21:43 that's perfect Rickles its cadence 21:46 cadence cadence doesn't really mean 21:48 anything sometimes still funny the 21:52 nickname mr. warmth was was how to dual 21:55 meaning because it was sarcastic but it 21:58 was also somewhat true there was there 22:00 was one there was that beneath it and 22:03 that's why he could get away with it 22:04 that's correct now I just dawn at the 22:07 Apollo you know it's you know it's like 22:09 it's like it's like having Putin at the 22:11 Museum of Tolerance you know what I mean 22:14 I really didn't track 22:16 [Applause] 22:22 of neck on one night only good evening 22:26 and welcome and welcome back to those of 22:28 you watching at home we can't believe it 22:30 either you are watching Spike TV 22:36 [Applause] 22:40 [Music] 22:43 [Applause] 22:46 ladies and gentlemen 22:48 [Applause] 22:49 [Music] 22:51 [Applause] 22:53 [Music] 22:53 [Applause] 22:55 good evening and welcome welcome back to 22:57 those of you watching at home we can't 22:59 believe it either you are watching Spike 23:01 TV 23:04 [Applause] 23:08 I'm thinking too of my dad who was a 23:11 member of the greatest generation at his 23:13 may he rest in peace we lost him a few 23:16 years ago but at his assisted living 23:18 facility once a year they would get all 23:21 dressed up and have a casino night and 23:23 looking over at this banquette I don't 23:25 know so cute the old people don rickles 23:35 this man we honor tonight is as has been 23:39 noted part of the firmament of American 23:42 cultural history and he certainly 23:43 changed the history of comedy for those 23:46 of us who grew up at the height of the 23:48 Cold War especially here on the East 23:50 Coast those of us for whom television 23:53 was a window on the world watching 23:55 Carson was close to mandatory it was our 23:59 cultural barometer it was our American 24:02 gathering place every weeknight as the 24:05 nice man on TV says after your late 24:07 local news and about Johnny's guests 24:11 over the years I know we all in this 24:14 room share a particular favorite all of 24:18 America did the Great and incomparable 24:21 Bob Newhart 24:24 we're not specifically honoring Bob 24:28 tonight that's coming later this year at 24:31 a much larger event at our our 24:34 Convention Center here and we're very 24:36 very excited back to Don the truth is 24:45 Don Rickles was without parallel as 24:48 Tonight Show audiences and Tonight Show 24:50 guests go as he himself will tell you he 24:54 was the very best on that couch he made 24:56 his first of over 100 appearances on 25:00 October 7th of 1965 done on that night 25:05 that first night became a hero to all 25:08 those of us in the talk show guests 25:11 community when he drove the interview 25:14 off the rails 25:15 very early on Johnny asked as the card 25:18 told him to as he was supposed to ask 25:21 how's your mother 25:22 Don replied you never liked my mother 25:26 what are you bringing her up for 25:30 [Applause] 25:33 it went on like that for about twenty 25:37 golden minutes in television history was 25:41 cemented and Johnny would often 25:43 introduce Don appropriately as mr. 25:45 warmth that title stuck over the years 25:48 one night Johnny introduced Don as this 25:51 year's poster child for rabies while 25:57 there will be plenty of time for 25:59 cultural critics and writers to decide 26:02 where in the history of entertainment we 26:04 should rank a television show like CP o 26:07 Sharkey 26:13 it's Don's relationship with Johnny that 26:17 for now deserves our attention Johnny 26:20 knew then what it took a lot of us a 26:23 lifetime to figure out Don secretly is 26:27 an awfully nice man in fact a very sweet 26:30 and sentimental man but when he was with 26:33 Johnny nobody was safe and what happened 26:37 on The Tonight Show helped to form a 26:39 generation or more of comedy in the 26:43 United States 26:44 [Applause] 26:47 [Music] 26:50 okay my first guest our new ambassador 26:54 to the UN 26:54 this year's poster child for rabies 26:56 would you welcome mr. warmth Don Rickles 27:00 [Applause] 27:11 now I'm not going to tell Mac what an 27:14 evening Mike it's so good to see Lenny 27:17 no you still on go yeah but this is a 27:21 good jacket you'll come in tomorrow 27:22 night with cotton candy you work the 27:24 Connell anyway can I say something - 27:28 screaming we've gotten so old nineteen 27:34 years John that's real milk and anymore 27:35 walk away 27:43 see I try to do one show for a long time 27:46 rather than six or seven like you for a 27:48 month or two and then gone ah no no when 27:54 you're that big you're a lot of turn on 27:55 a little guy lives in two rooms on 27:59 Figueroa with a busted accordion look 28:03 right in there let America know you're a 28:04 millionaire and you don't need them 28:05 right 28:07 [Laughter] 28:12 I'm a millionaire I don't need that 28:19 without both happily married so you went 28:22 through a couple of warm ups but 28:24 [Music] 28:26 I want to tell you something as a friend 28:27 rift with these two lovely Japanese 28:29 girls you made a fool yourself I put a 28:34 couple minutes no let me erase I'm so 28:38 long 28:44 [Applause] 28:48 you never liked me you are better than 28:53 me you always 28:58 you finally dragged it out of me didn't 29:00 you I'll do the fun Thank You corn 29:05 when I don't 29:09 success 29:17 the incomparable Johnny Carson with our 29:20 incomparable guest of honor tonight Don 29:23 Rickles and again you're watching spike 29:25 thank you ladies and gentleman 29:27 [Applause] 29:29 [Music] 29:32 [Applause] 29:36 [Music] 29:43 Don Rickles whenever I watched The 29:47 Tonight Show with Johnny Carson Don 29:50 Rickles would come on 29:52 and I was so envious of him I was not 29:57 angry just envious because of all the 30:02 comedians have ever played I he was the 30:06 only one that Johnny Carson laughed at 30:10 all the time no matter woody up neck on 30:21 one night only and I thought oh my 30:24 daughters on Rickles Don he's just gone 30:30 to a rim shop 30:33 come over and give you a kiss that's all 30:35 one night only and all-star Comedy 30:37 tributes at John Rickles is brought to 30:39 you by the 2014 dodge dart or exact dish 30:45 only the hopper gives you the power to 30:47 watch all your live and recorded TV 30:49 anywhere and by prilosec otc 30:55 [Applause] 31:04 how much smaller this came from 14,000 31:07 bars 14,000 cases have encephalopathies 31:13 reputable 31:14 [Music] 31:20 Flint's nobody else has said it and I 31:23 say it from my heart there allows the 31:25 act why don't you put your bitching just 31:29 remember once at the end of the line 31:32 oh that's great explosively and easily 31:37 [Music] 31:39 how's things going at the bank the 31:42 shaman's broken down and nobody's gonna 31:43 move that Tiger editor square didn't 31:45 make it you what kind of deal a deal 31:49 deal maybe I can easily pop okay don't 31:56 forget folks when you see Clint Eastwood 31:57 and your local drive-in theaters drive 31:59 right into the screen 32:03 [Music] 32:05 please welcome Johnny Depp 32:08 [Applause] 32:20 hi good evening I don't know why I'm 32:25 here 32:30 and that's not for the reasons you're 32:33 thinking I don't know why I'm here 32:35 because I don't know why I deserve to be 32:40 here to to sit next to this man to speak 32:44 to this man to be in his presence to 32:46 know him to to spend time with him I 32:50 mean I don't know how I earned that but 32:56 I have one very traumatic story to tell 33:00 regarding Don Rickles that that did send 33:04 me to therapy but I'm over it now and I 33:06 feel good I feel good you know this is 33:09 probably one of those things where I 33:10 should set it up like you know I'm about 33:14 to drop some names so that should be 33:17 accentuated and I'm sure that my brother 33:19 Steve wouldn't mind if I did want it 33:23 always kind of thing you know I'm not 33:30 Don Rickles 33:33 at Frank Sinatra's 88 book sorry Frank 33:37 Sinatra yeah the kick-drum exactly and 33:42 so I thought surely the god is you know 33:45 he's going to insult me so I was waiting 33:49 for because it as was said earlier it's 33:52 a badge of honor and I met him I shook 33:55 his hand it was the kindest person that 33:57 I'd ever come into contact with and I 34:01 was still kind of and waiting for that 34:05 insult and it never came 34:09 which meant to me at the time that he 34:12 clearly hated me and wanted nothing to 34:16 do with me which I understood but it 34:20 hurt me deeply so I had the eye to see a 34:22 shrink and everything but there it's all 34:26 it's all clear now I feel better about 34:28 it I'm just gonna come over and give you 34:32 a kiss that's all and I'll walk away 34:33 I'll never talk to you again I love you 34:38 I 34:40 [Music] 34:49 thank you he's the definition of what 34:52 our real comic is for most people doing 34:55 stand-up is like a means to an end you 34:58 know you want to do it to get to do 34:59 other stuff and movies and TV and all 35:02 that stuff and Rickles has done all of 35:04 that stuff but at the core of it at the 35:08 center of it as a comic you know and 35:10 he's a real you know it kind of defines 35:12 what a comic get the prototype for a 35:14 comic I don't think he'll go out and be 35:15 like I'm going to go do something to be 35:18 edgy or say something to be offensive or 35:21 going and you got to be fearless if 35:23 you're going to do if you're going to 35:24 turn over the applecart 35:25 I don't think he's coming to turn over 35:27 the applecart I think he just comes to 35:29 crack everybody up you know every other 35:32 comic has had walkouts I don't think 35:34 anyone has ever walked out of a Don 35:35 Rickles show even a person who's had 35:38 their ass ripped the hardest they 35:40 they're sitting there laughing classic 35:41 be the only one that could take a chunk 35:43 out your ass and after as you'd be like 35:45 this 35:45 Rickles a congratulations to you John 35:50 and I'm so happy that they're honoring 35:52 you and recognizing all the wonderful 35:54 laughs that you've been bringing people 35:55 for all these years and I love you and 35:58 congratulations and and you are 36:00 tremendously appreciated by everybody 36:04 Don Rickles how about that Elizabeth do 36:08 the applause 36:11 [Music] 36:15 coming up down best friends take their 36:18 best shot at the man of the hour I had 36:20 the good fortune of meetings Don Rickles 36:23 and all my God my my life changed it was 36:27 it was at a Scientology mixer we wanted 36:32 to honor your memory Don so if I've been 36:34 directing this I don't think it would 36:35 have gone for the open casket you can 36:38 feel his spirit in this room tonight 36:41 Athena he is here Jesus I thought that 36:44 was somebody's purse 36:51 [Music] 36:56 not your land you a guitar - and no this 37:02 is now your night tossing cigarette box 37:19 what the hell happen is you know how 37:23 long I've had the cigarette box on his 37:25 desk you brought that up New York I 37:27 brought this from New York foot on earth 37:28 it happened last night ooh Don Rickles 37:32 I did not see dog lies did it last night 37:35 are you putting me on no no no Don 37:37 Rickles did it last night on the show 37:39 he's taping across the hall 37:42 CPO Sharkey get over there can I get 37:46 over there 37:53 be right back kazeem scooting are they 37:59 taping are they on the air I don't give 38:02 a damn if they're on the air 38:04 [Applause] 38:05 Rickles stop the taping somebody broke 38:09 my cigarette box 38:10 [Music] 38:12 [Applause] 38:24 I just started the show I picked my box 38:27 up off my desk laughs and for nine years 38:30 my box is broken told me they told me 38:36 you broke it on the show last night 38:39 well III 38:41 [Applause] 38:45 I'm sorry about the boss I will I will 38:48 come up with some well I hope so but 38:49 just keep me on your show you mean so 38:51 much to me can I like no no don't 38:55 humble yourselves leave I want to see 38:56 with you songs don't humble yourself 38:58 right I want something back okay carry 39:00 on carry on you always do that Johnny 39:11 Carson they know who I am 39:16 [Music] 39:16 [Applause] 39:18 [Music] 39:19 [Applause] 39:21 regis philbin 39:23 [Applause] 39:26 [Music] 39:26 [Applause] 39:30 thank you thank you very much you know 39:33 Don Rickles has been a part of my life 39:34 for a long long time it was back in 1964 39:38 50 years ago and is it the cute take a 39:42 look at him huh look at that guy he was 39:46 dynamite four years later I joined Joey 39:51 Bishop as his ethnic bed for a 39:53 late-night show on a PC when Rickles 39:55 came on the show he of course would pick 39:57 on me and I would yell back at him but 40:00 it was all in fun 40:01 and suddenly I became his opening act 40:03 you remember that done he even came on 40:05 my Morning Show which he never does to 40:07 talk about our shows out there listen to 40:10 this and this is what Don had to say 40:12 about my act with him that night 40:15 a Regis can I tell you something if we 40:17 work together again Sally I'm going to 40:20 the VA and I'm going to be asked to be 40:22 sent back to Vietnam 40:24 just stay there in the jungle and and 40:27 black in my face at 95 I'm gonna see you 40:30 can we just really don't come around 40:32 anymore 40:32 the voice is weak you're not good you 40:38 stink on instant you can keep that am 40:41 show for I never I never want to be 40:43 again 40:50 and that's the way of CID for 54 ears 40:55 down and now we'll be doing so together 40:58 this is what we look like before we come 41:00 out 41:04 you know I've loved on all these years I 41:09 really do god I just think you're great 41:10 and over the years I've loved it when 41:12 you came to New York away but usually 41:14 would meet at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel 41:16 but this week he had come in with Frank 41:18 Sinatra to do the Radio City musical 41:22 together for a week and so I said done 41:25 is Frank here yeah well is he is he here 41:28 at the hotel yes do you know what room 41:29 he said yes I said Don look why don't we 41:33 go down and just bust open the door put 41:35 the put the television camera right on 41:37 Frank I just thought the hell out of him 41:39 and Don Rickles said to me do you have 41:43 children 41:47 and I said yes I do he said do you want 41:51 to see them again anyway but you were 41:55 the only guy only guy who could stick it 41:57 to French and live my first line to 42:05 Frank would stand up Frank be yourself 42:06 and hit somebody and all the guys win 42:08 the month is that is that funny friend 42:11 who is your favorite male singer honest 42:14 yeah Dick Haymes 42:16 everybody around couldn't believe I had 42:18 the macaroons to say mister and I did 42:20 and when I came home my cousin was on a 42:22 hook in the living room no Marco manga 42:25 Manzo was hurt 42:30 macho man Alonzo convenient boombox Oh 42:34 two bullets in the head 42:39 the cloud 42:42 then again 42:44 I was eating this dinner in a restaurant 42:47 in New York and he came over to the 42:50 table and he said Frank do me a favor he 42:51 said I'm sitting with a very pretty girl 42:53 and I'm trying to make out you know and 42:57 he said I told her I know you and she 42:58 really doesn't believe it would you stop 42:59 by the table I said all right I'm just 43:01 about finished can I walk by the table I 43:03 said how I had done nice to see he said 43:04 can't you see I'm eating Frank what is 43:09 64 years old Frank I'm a friend I've 43:11 been listening to all the people you 43:13 look at Frank go over Frank gone 43:17 everybody doesn't have to be funny all 43:20 the time and I'm proved again tonight 43:23 whenever you see me just don't stop the 43:27 chat Frank wait a second oh right 43:31 don't walk out on just stop it go give 43:33 me a break Frank for you jump all over 43:35 me from the up or everything like that 43:38 [Music] 43:43 [Applause] 43:45 [Music] 43:50 and I say God bless you I love you 43:52 dearly can I tell you we have been 43:54 blessed to have such a rare 43:55 [Music] 43:56 [Applause] 43:58 [Music] 44:03 [Applause] 44:10 nobody nobody could do that the crisis 44:13 anatra like you and incidentally I want 44:14 to tell you something there's been 44:16 nobody in in the comedy business who is 44:18 can equal you you're so fast you don't 44:20 need right as you go right into it and 44:22 you're magnificent you really aren't 44:24 I've loved every minute about 54 years 44:26 together thanks Don very very 44:32 [Music] 44:32 [Applause] 44:36 [Music] 44:37 [Applause] 44:38 [Music] 44:39 [Applause] 44:40 [Music] 44:43 hello dummies i'm jimmy kimmel sit i'm 44:47 with you tonight to pay tribute to a 44:49 miracle named Don Rickles 44:51 as a talk show host you cannot ask for a 44:53 better guest than Don he might be the 44:55 funniest person who ever appeared on 44:57 television can you imagine making fun of 44:59 Frank Sinatra and then living to be 88 45:02 Dodd did it no one was safe from mr. 45:05 worf not Sinatra not the president not 45:07 even Johnny Carson Don Pope funny little 45:10 holes in all of them and he does it 45:11 everyone not just stars everyone is part 45:14 of the fun I went out to dinner with Don 45:15 as we left he gave our Busboys who 45:18 happened to be Latino $20 each and he 45:21 said here send this home by your 45:23 mother's a house Don Rickles is one of 45:26 very few people you never want to miss 45:29 even just a living legend is a national 45:31 treasure there will never be another Don 45:33 Rickles he's a great actor the greatest 45:35 comedian and an even better person done 45:37 I love you you are the funniest man 45:40 alive it is my honor and thrilled to 45:42 know you enjoy your special night how 45:46 was that that was weak 45:50 [Applause] 45:52 next on one moment and Austar comedy 45:55 tribute for Don Rickles I'm so sick 45:58 appealing about Frank Sinatra enough 46:03 already 46:04 it made me want to tell Franco himself 46:08 [Applause] 46:16 ladies and gentlemen Robert De Niro 46:20 [Applause] 46:30 I met Don some time before we were both 46:33 jest at Cassino it was a different world 46:36 back then there was affirmative action 46:39 for Jews no one had told Steven 46:46 Spielberg he had to hire more Italians 46:48 for Schindler's List but in 1984 46:52 Universal said we need more Jews in the 46:54 picture what we don't have enough Jews 46:58 in the picture alakay and showers stole 47:01 what are they chopped liver 47:03 turns out Sharon Stone wasn't even 47:05 Jewish with a name like that 47:08 no so we had to get another Jew we 47:12 didn't need a star we needed just a Jew 47:15 who'd you know work cheap but who would 47:17 we we could look at Barry in a bit 47:20 Potter a couple of lines in the 47:22 background a few shots you know like 47:24 that Jackie Mason wasn't available so 47:27 what do we get Don Rickles 47:31 it was a true collaboration right done 47:35 with me doing some of my best acting of 47:38 my career and I'm standing in the 47:40 background and some of my biggest scenes 47:43 yeah I loved andhe hello them now but 47:49 Don is something rare 47:51 a true friend a wonderful human being if 47:54 he weren't he would never be able to get 47:55 away would be such an now it's 47:59 my honor to bring out another true 48:01 friend at least he was until we worked 48:04 together with Don ladies and gentlemen 48:07 Marty Scorsese 48:08 [Applause] 48:16 [Music] 48:20 well it's it's true you know Bob and I 48:23 did like eight pictures together we 48:26 would put everything we had into each 48:27 and we'd always be excited about doing 48:32 the next one then we did casino with Don 48:35 twenty years ago and we haven't worked 48:40 together since that's amazing it's 48:44 amazing Don the influence you've had on 48:47 our careers yes done on behalf of the 48:51 Leo DiCaprio thanks a lot 48:59 okay now one on Bob De Niro and I are on 49:03 the same stage together these days it's 49:05 usually to give each other Lifetime 49:06 Achievement Awards so we see each other 49:09 mainly at award ceremonies and memorial 49:11 services like tonight 49:18 we wanted to honor your memory Don so 49:20 here we are though I've been directing 49:24 this I don't think I would have gone for 49:25 the open casket 49:29 rest in peace offering 49:34 I was asked to speak a little about what 49:39 it's like to direct you it's difficult 49:42 because nobody can direct don rickles I 49:44 mean directors just hand him over to the 49:46 set decorator and they put a manual way 49:49 to the least damage actually no I mean 49:52 having done on the set and in all those 49:55 shots lent a real presence to the film 49:58 he was a direct line to the 1970s Las 50:01 Vegas and Casino the town was a 50:03 character in that and that movie and Don 50:05 you were the link to that town you know 50:07 you gave it authenticity you gave it a 50:09 sense of danger that was the theory 50:12 anyway it works 50:17 Don's a real thing he was there when 50:23 when the mob ran Vegas he was court 50:27 jester to the Rat Pack and yes he knew 50:29 Sinatra and he managed to say in every 50:32 goddamn sense he ever said yeah I knew 50:35 Frank Frank loved me there was Frank in 50:37 my front row Franco is came to see me I 50:39 feel Frank this I call Frank that I'm so 50:42 sick of hearing 50:47 about Frank Sinatra enough already 50:50 it made me want to tell Frank little so 50:54 I don't know the tightest on for Frank 50:56 instead coincidentally that is also the 51:01 average age of your fans 51:09 you're more than a relic of that era 51:10 you're still doing it and Don you are as 51:14 fresh and funny now as you were 50 years 51:16 ago yeah we put together a little video 51:24 of John scenes in casino but don't blink 51:27 you might miss 51:30 [Applause] 51:34 [Music] 51:36 my taking the state local table get your 51:39 shoes on please 51:40 yeah wouldn't there soldbuch 51:47 Sam we have a problem 51:50 what is it for that wants a 50,000 51:52 marker north of this Kim Kim that 10 but 51:55 what the mm just one is 10,000 51:59 [Music] 52:03 I see someone you're supposed to say I 52:07 should have loaded it I'm saying for the 52:10 kind of one of your making what do you 52:11 put on you can learn the thing you gotta 52:13 pop out friend sit in here and study we 52:17 go method acting the supreme Queen alive 52:21 looking at it 52:30 now now if you er if you're a true 52:33 Rickles fan I mean that's it 52:34 that's casino the other two hours 57 52:37 minutes er just DeNiro 52:38 Pesci and Sharon Stone sitting up Don's 52:41 pivotal role the scene where Pesci beats 52:46 the crap out he has turned out to be one 52:47 of the most popular seasoned the movie 52:51 who hasn't wanted to do that now you're 52:55 a great guy done you are not that we 52:58 give a look anyone who cares 53:03 whether or not you're a nice guy is 53:04 missing the point we care that you're 53:07 funny and that you open the door for 53:09 many others to be funny to there are 53:11 millions a nice guys hundreds of funny 53:13 people but there's only one Don Rickles 53:25 and if it turns out by some slim chance 53:27 that that one Don wrinkles have Rickles 53:30 happens to be happens to be nice too 53:33 well 53:47 you 53:49 [Applause] 53:58 [Music] 54:00 coming up on one-night-only fact who 54:05 even want to be around God why are we 54:08 all here this is the same this one night 54:13 only ghosts of Don Rickles is brought to 54:15 you by Captain Morgan original spiced 54:17 realm the lights love and Luke we honor 54:21 God because it takes a genius block what 54:24 he does he is confident he is what we 54:27 all aspire to be Captain Morgan goes 54:30 down Rickles and celebrates his 54:31 legendary comedy career 54:33 [Applause] 54:36 [Music] 54:37 [Applause] 54:39 and ladies and gentlemen once again 54:42 Jerry Seinfeld 54:44 [Applause] 54:48 [Music] 54:49 [Applause] 54:50 gone I talked to the producers money is 54:53 going to be about the same classic one 55:00 of this alright another landmark open 55:03 add-ons career occurred in 1969 when he 55:05 made his first big primetime appearance 55:08 on the Dean Martin show Dino basically 55:11 turned over half of his show to Don 55:12 allowing him to recreate his nightclub 55:14 act Don came out in a roomful of the 55:17 biggest stars of the day and let loose 55:18 the merchants of venom went around the 55:21 room leveling star after star from Danny 55:23 Thomas to Don Adams from Pat Boone to 55:26 Bob Hope when the Dean Martin show 55:28 morphed into the Dean Martin celebrity 55:29 roasts don found a home they would have 55:33 done on last because after all who could 55:34 follow Don then again why would anyone 55:37 want to go on before dawn because then 55:39 you become part of his act in fact who 55:42 even want to be around dawn why are we 55:45 all here this is the same I'm getting 55:47 out of here brace yourself and thank God 55:50 Don's not going after you 55:51 [Applause] 55:54 [Music] 55:57 I hope you have your heard a rabies shot 56:01 because here he comes 56:02 Mr Bond 56:03 [Applause] 56:09 they probably honoring 56:13 I looked around the room and I realized 56:15 now aside from Clint Eastwood I'm the 56:17 biggest name here 56:21 I sit around about people I got a 56:23 reputation Ricardo montalbán a good 56:25 friend you know this I got a reputation 56:26 of being like Newsweek said the merchant 56:28 of venom destroys stars you people in 56:31 the back this is not true I love people 56:32 really Ricardo why do I kid you why 56:35 because I don't like you you out there 56:39 America our governor is dumb Jane Martin 56:43 said to me when governor Reagan or Regan 56:46 whatever they call you I don't care 56:50 I see well ladies gentleman has been a 56:53 great start at some degree this man was 56:56 married to a great many women in his 56:58 life they're all flat now 56:59 [Music] 57:03 Marty when we see all the film's you did 57:06 none of them were great De Niro is 57:11 sitting there he's one of the great 57:12 actors of our time you ask 57:17 [Music] 57:25 Kinya 90 lay down 57:28 [Music] 57:31 what the London 57:36 I must be honest I never liked Lucille 57:38 Ball I never there 57:43 I can cook and many many movies and I 57:46 say from the bottom of my heart as an 57:47 actor is weak you Roberts you live next 57:55 to me at the beach you know that I'm 57:57 living about two blocks or a little 57:58 broad never shows up come by and say 57:59 hello 57:59 I have no lines Jule you just not do 58:04 anything my wife told me to be polite to 58:08 see by the way she'd be with us tonight 58:10 my lovely wife Barbara but unfortunately 58:11 she swam in our pool today with a 58:13 jewelry on and drown 58:18 we're gonna let Bob 58:23 [Music] 58:28 hi Don happy 88th birthday and 58:33 congratulations on what I understand is 58:35 your 56 year in show business as you 58:39 know Jenny and I can't be with you world 58:41 we're up in Seattle but I did want to 58:43 send this this video along to you the 58:48 show said they sent along a professional 58:50 team but um 58:51 I don't know you've done the same thing 58:54 at the house and you know they say it's 58:56 going to take a half hour it takes more 58:57 like four hours and something always 58:59 winds up getting broken so I just have 59:02 my camcorder and I got an easel and it's 59:05 all locked in so I think we're ready to 59:08 go the Apollo dad Wow that is exciting 59:12 there's such a history of people 59:16 appearing at the like like Cab Calloway 59:22 our 59:25 come come faces guess I missed one 59:28 everything so there it is I let me type 59:37 since can somebody get the phone okay 59:42 can somebody please get the goddamn 59:45 phone I'm trying to do something for 59:46 down here 59:50 boy if you want something done you're 59:52 gonna do it yourself don't you but I 59:59 just 60:00 just unplug of this Oh Maron there thank 60:05 you guys careful of the cable watch the 60:08 cake 60:11 [Music] 60:16 [Applause] 60:18 [Music] 60:23 [Music] 60:34 and that is a is a true story guys watch 60:40 the cables 60:42 anyway guy I'm thinking that more than 60:45 enough time congratulations on your 88th 60:47 wish we could have been there I don't 60:50 know what about you I think I think it 60:54 turned out a lot better than you know 60:55 with a professional crew 61:04 [Applause] 61:07 coming up on one night only I went over 61:12 and said mr. Rickles I'm such a huge fan 61:15 and you did sweetheart just the check 61:20 one night only and all-star Comedy 61:23 tributes at Don Rickles is brought to 61:25 you by Captain Morgan original spiced 61:27 drug the lights luck and loop Burger 61:31 King where tasty cake and by Pyrus fo TC 61:40 [Music] 61:40 [Applause] 61:52 Hey look I'm Pratap now I don't get it 61:56 you uncultured swine what are you 62:00 looking at your hockey puck 62:02 [Music] 62:05 that's banner hi no it takes my wife's 62:07 mouth except me give it back 62:09 Gloria this is when you're in prison now 62:14 and you talk back to the big man when 62:17 you got dragged out to the box the next 62:19 morning they pull you back in they drag 62:21 you in and you're all caked with sand 62:23 and they throw you into the middle of 62:24 the cellblock it was cold and dark 62:28 nothing but saying that a couple of 62:30 Lincoln Logs 62:31 I don't think those were Lincoln lug 62:33 [Music] 62:38 data it tastes stupid cuz this morning 62:42 boy you're an accessory you're a husband 62:45 like you would not believe what I've 62:49 been through 62:50 that night 62:51 [Applause] 62:51 [Music] 62:55 they and Amy Poehler 63:11 good evening we are here tonight to 63:15 celebrate Don Rickles and honestly it's 63:19 almost like he's here with us you can 63:23 feel his spirit in this room tonane 63:26 athena he is here Jesus I thought that 63:30 was somebody's purse 63:34 sorry so sorry Don's work ethics is 63:39 unparalleled at 88 years old he still 63:42 doing stand-up across the country which 63:44 begs the question why are you out of 63:48 money is that where you're always doing 63:49 casinos the gambling problem are you in 63:52 that wheelchair because the sub beat 63:54 your knees link if you need help you 63:59 know I remember watching John as a 64:01 little kid in the 70s and thinking wow 64:03 that guy is old and after seeing John 64:12 Rickles performed when I was little I 64:13 knew what I wanted to be a short neon 64:16 Jewish man what you said your thing you 64:20 know when the producers of this event 64:22 first called us last night 64:24 I said it's 3:00 in the morning who died 64:29 and I explained that everything was fine 64:31 it's just that they were planning a 64:33 comedy event and no women had agreed to 64:36 show up so I said what award is Jerry 64:40 Lewis getting and they said no no it's 64:42 not Jerry Lewis it's Don Rickles 64:45 so I said Oh Don Rickles is the best Amy 64:47 and I would love to come to your event 64:49 and they said wait how are we calling 64:52 you and Amy in the same bed and I said 64:54 don't worry about it it doesn't concern 64:57 you 64:59 so here we are because they thought it 65:03 was important for Donna be honored by at 65:05 least one woman which apparently is what 65:08 we count as 65:17 yeah thanks for sending one car for the 65:20 both of us to spend Seinfeld 1/2 a car 65:27 we are thrilled to be here because Don 65:30 is the real deal he had his own variety 65:33 show and his own sitcom he called both 65:35 of them the Don Rickles show that's the 65:38 kind of creative genius we're dealing 65:40 with you and what an honor this must be 65:46 for you to have your birthday celebrated 65:48 on Spike TV just knowing that this will 65:53 air between tattoo nightmares and the 65:55 hunt for Bigfoot 66:03 it's what your mother dreamed of in the 66:05 shtetl I'll always remember the first 66:09 time I met Don I went over and said mr. 66:12 Rickles I'm such a huge fan and he said 66:14 sweetheart just the check but the great 66:19 thing about Don is that his jokes 66:20 appeals to everyone 66:22 Pollock the colored broad but 66:28 no for now let's say that anymore 66:29 why is he still saying oh you should 66:31 probably something done I truly love you 66:35 because every time I see you you come up 66:38 to me and you grab my arm and you say 66:41 how's your divorce is it done yet and I 66:45 make me feel very safe 66:49 and here's something you don't know when 66:53 my this is true when my cousin was 66:56 nineteen years old 66:57 you gave her her first big break and she 67:00 was a singer and you let her open for 67:02 you at the Foxwoods casino and you and 67:05 your lovely wife were so so nice to her 67:08 and that is why I'm here tonight to rub 67:11 it in my cousin's face that I got famous 67:17 happy birthday dawn we love you you 67:21 really do and we're supposed to talk for 67:25 five minutes and you're a great man 67:27 and you're great and we love you we do 67:30 and the thing about that we got it right 67:33 thank you 67:35 [Applause] 67:44 [Music] 67:49 [Applause] 67:52 up next 67:53 one night only what have we learned here 67:56 tonight Don Rickles makes life more fun 68:01 this one night only toast to Don Rickles 68:04 is brought to you by Captain Morgan 68:07 original spiced rum the light love and 68:09 Luke one night only that's all the 68:12 doctor says you know I remember watching 68:15 Don as a little kid in the 70s and 68:18 thinking wow that guy 68:20 [Music] 68:22 rest in peace all tracks that were 68:25 Morgan salutes Don Rickles for his 88 68:27 years of being a true original 68:28 [Music] 68:29 [Applause] 68:37 with Letterman 68:40 [Applause] 68:49 [Music] 68:51 [Applause] 69:04 [Music] 69:12 [Music] 69:16 I know you haven't seen the show great 69:21 pleasure to be here I've been a friend 69:23 like everybody with Don for a long long 69:26 time not as long as the Regis segment 69:30 but a long time 69:33 [Applause] 69:36 I was waiting to go on and and and the 69:41 worst thing in show business is waiting 69:44 to go on listening to what's taking 69:46 place ahead of you and and I was hoping 69:49 for dead silence honest to God 69:51 especially this late in the evening and 69:54 and now that I'm following Amy and Tina 70:01 so I'm listening behind the curtain 70:04 there and they're killing there's 70:06 enormous laughter coming from these two 70:09 lovely talented women and all I want to 70:11 do now is open a vein so as I do from 70:18 time to time I start to throw a little 70:20 fit it goes something like this 70:24 holy crap god dammit nobody told me 70:27 they're killing what am I supposed to do 70:30 and I turn to this guy right there and I 70:32 said I can't possibly go out there now 70:34 what am I supposed to do and I look down 70:41 and he's got a phone and I said what 70:44 what are you doing they said I'm 70:45 tweeting people about you're fit 70:53 the wonderful life for Don 70:58 I left Indiana in 1975 and I moved to 71:05 Los Angeles and I wanted to be in comedy 71:09 I think a lot of people did this and 71:11 when you go out there you don't have any 71:14 money you don't have any friends really 71:17 that you know you have no place to go 71:19 and have no plan for three months or so 71:23 I lived in one of Jay Leno's cars that 71:25 was good 71:30 and then in 1976 I had the good fortune 71:34 of meeting Don Rickles and oh my god my 71:37 my life changed it was a it was at a 71:41 Scientology mixer and 71:53 Don and I became good friends and he's 71:56 been on my program all jeez 25 times I 71:59 don't taste South ladies gentlemen he's 72:01 been on the show 25 times as a guest 72:04 that's the most times a guest has been 72:08 on our show named Don 72:11 [Applause] 72:17 he always Donna's away with words he 72:20 coins phrases and often they're they're 72:22 meaningless not often always they're 72:26 meaningless and my favorite of course 72:29 and I borrowed this from Don and God 72:31 bless you and thank you very much is I 72:32 wouldn't give your troubles to a monkey 72:35 on a rock 72:43 so we have a little videotape for you 72:45 now Don Rickles spending some time with 72:49 us on our show 72:51 coining phrases move up Al we're going 72:56 to be with day near like it among seen 72:59 here in Chicago a Zeppelin she's laying 73:02 in bed with the jewelry signaling ships 73:04 what do you do you sit in the farm and 73:07 watch a bird die and every time we made 73:08 love she started a whistle really great 73:11 look on you look a little mouse in a 73:13 state prison thank if he was alive I 73:15 wouldn't be doing that I'd be out here 73:16 with wheels on my ass sitting like that 73:18 I didn't know if I stuck the remain team 73:24 I'm saying she's a lovely woman Kia 73:27 she's to be a look up for the FBI Oh get 73:29 me my hand I'm a Jew and I know when a 73:32 corn convention except I think I can get 73:34 to that tree 20 want me to drop my pants 73:37 of fire all rockets 73:38 [Applause] 73:41 [Music] 73:50 so the question is what have we learned 73:52 here tonight and the answer is nothing 73:56 we haven't already known for a long long 73:58 time and it's simply this that don 74:01 rickles makes life more fun 74:09 but a great pleasure to know him been a 74:11 great pleasure to be here 74:20 I have the honor of introducing our 74:22 guest of honor ladies and gentlemen here 74:25 he is Don Rickles done 74:28 [Applause] 74:43 [Music] 74:47 [Applause] 74:49 [Music] 74:57 thank you please please be seated the 74:59 Jewish holiday is a robot 75:05 you know when I should be standing but 75:09 I'm sitting here Dave thanks to come you 75:10 don't know 75:11 Letterman's not the kind of guy that 75:13 gets out too much you know he's out in 75:15 the Midwest with his wife saying honey 75:16 shoot that cow and let's go to bed 75:18 earlier but he god bless him he's he's 75:22 not he's not a big way very real and 75:24 it's way to you Dave I know your busy 75:27 schedule of going to the bank and trying 75:28 to figure out what the hell you do 75:36 I am so thrilled as they look around the 75:39 room that I'm the biggest name here this 75:41 is this is what this is what rocks gonna 75:44 rock I'll be very honest with you all 75:48 the performance feel all marvelous real 75:50 you were and I will be all night saying 75:53 how great you are except that De Niro 75:54 was weak but no Bob was a great friend 76:00 when I did Casino he kept saying me 76:09 I'm like a million I said yeah Bob okay 76:11 yeah Bob but he was great every time we 76:14 didn't see Marty Scorsese 76:18 god bless one of the great directors on 76:20 business as a little problem with asthma 76:22 and so during a main shot he goes and I 76:27 gonna kiss his ass so he lets me do and 76:30 see but it's so good to see pics like 76:33 Jerry Seinfeld I know for many many 76:35 years and he was skyrocketed to fame 76:37 it's a wonderful guy and you talk to him 76:40 it's like being alone 76:44 [Applause] 76:52 I look around this room and just the 76:54 home of the blacks let me see free god 77:03 bless you black people I love you I 77:04 really do 77:05 as your laughing gear I'm sure one of 77:08 you guys is up in my hotel room robbing 77:10 me 77:18 anyway uh but I had a wonderful hectic 77:24 life and it was always good never in 77:26 trouble and so forth with problems and 77:28 and I married my wonderful wife was been 77:30 with me 77:31 god bless Li with her for for nine years 77:33 and I gave 77:43 my dear daughter Mindy it was going to 77:46 be an actress and a comedian more 77:49 trouble anyway uh I thought about my 77:53 she's wonderful 77:54 when I say to all of you I picked up a 77:57 style of working in tough clubs and 77:59 people making fun and yelling up and so 78:01 forth and I started to pick on people 78:03 and always was loved my heart never had 78:06 a bit of hatred in it never had a bit of 78:08 any kind of feeling of auntie what 78:11 whatever they were black green yellow I 78:13 didn't care I just respected them and I 78:15 think the audience do that and tonight 78:17 to have this kind of an affair if in my 78:21 honor I only pray to God like my dear 78:24 mother was here because she was my force 78:27 she kept saying you're funny kid you're 78:29 funny you're funny 78:40 can I say to every performance get up 78:44 here in cities wonderful words about me 78:46 I am I am so pleased and I'm embarrassed 78:50 because that greatest I'm not but I 78:52 figured a couple hours but I say from my 79:00 heart to every performer that came it is 79:02 my good friend bob says here in the in 79:05 jerry who is it hey 79:07 a David Letterman one of the great guys 79:14 I really mean it I Dave we went to 79:16 dinner so every time I want to show we 79:18 go to dinner David and he's a hermit he 79:20 doesn't bother too many people he goes 79:22 with his wife out in the Midwest and 79:23 just lays in the grassland I swear to 79:28 God I love do you break everybody up is 79:29 such a sort of a basic great and Johnny 79:32 Depp for Johnny Depp to come here 79:34 tonight without his cowboy boots a funny 79:36 hat and laundry clothes I can't follow 79:39 that again 79:47 sounds great nicely Harvey Weinstein's 79:49 sitting there Harvey got a lot of good 79:51 talk about you I especially don't even 79:53 know yet anyway I know I know yeah I 79:56 know your hobby good that sits around 79:58 like everybody knows I'm you know one of 80:03 those Jews that got hot walk away and 80:10 Brian Williams of course I I got to know 80:12 in a short time he's great he declared 80:14 war on countries that don't even want to 80:16 go to war but I will say this from my 80:19 heart 80:20 really from my heart this is a long 80:33 one thing one thing one thing was 80:37 standard ball 80:38 I tell you along from the bottom of my 80:41 heart from the bottom of my heart I'm a 80:43 Jewish kid from Jackson Heights Long 80:45 Island and God God gave me a big chance 80:49 and I kept punching and punching away my 80:52 mother stood in the kitchen of all these 80:53 rough clubs and said he's funny he's a 80:55 funny kid you love vanilla into all of 80:58 you the love I've had I wish for you and 81:01 I say for all of you letters here 81:03 tonight 81:03 the main thing may God give you health 81:05 health and live a good life and god 81:09 bless you all 81:26 thank you very much ladies gentlemen 81:28 thank you for helping make the effective 81:30 wonderful evening 81:31 good night everybody 81:40 [Applause] 81:42 [Music] 81:57 I'm protecting technique our underground 82:03 I'll get there 82:06 [Music] 82:19 common 82:22 [Music] 82:26 by the cute 82:28 [Music] 82:31 yeah 82:31 [Applause] 82:33 [Music] 82:35 [Applause] 82:37 [Music] 82:45 one second 61911