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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 Downloaded from RARBG 2 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,003 ♪ upbeat theme playing ♪ 3 00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:08,926 ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪ 4 00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,387 ♪ Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da da-da-da ♪ 5 00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:14,990 Ripped and corrected by - YoungJedi - 6 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,142 SON [on video call]: Okay, so you walked Brooklyn Bridge, 7 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,186 and that was the night you met Dad. 8 00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,438 And then how long until you guys got together? 9 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:25,692 This story is about the journey, not the destination. 10 00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,861 I'm going to get with a whole bunch of dudes 11 00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,446 before I wind up with Dad. 12 00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,659 SON: You know, I'm okay with skipping to the destination. 13 00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,453 I'm going to need you to live in the moment here. 14 00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:39,373 Which, back in the day, I was terrible at. 15 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,707 ♪ 16 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,919 After my super triumphant Brooklyn Bridge Walk, 17 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:46,004 I backslid. 18 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:49,716 Instead of living in the moment, I decided to live in my phone. 19 00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,760 - Morning! - Can you knock? 20 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,555 Nope! Were you looking at your old texts with Ian? 21 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,764 No. 22 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:57,975 I was looking at porn. 23 00:00:57,975 --> 00:00:59,643 Liar! You're scared of porn. 24 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:01,603 I'm not scared of porn. 25 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:04,565 I'm scared of the government tracking my search history. 26 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,859 Stop wallowing. Put these on. 27 00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,902 It's Fonda time! 28 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,029 Up! [exhales] 29 00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,991 - So, what are we thinking for tonight? - Uh, 30 00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,827 probably just going to stay in and organize my darkroom closet. 31 00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:19,329 [sighs] You mean look at pictures of Ian 32 00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,123 while listening to Drops of Jupiter on loop 33 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:24,126 like you do every time things don't work out with a guy? 34 00:01:24,126 --> 00:01:25,419 [singing along to song]: Tell me... 35 00:01:25,419 --> 00:01:28,714 ♪ Did the wind sweep you off your feet? Did you... ♪ 36 00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:32,217 It's my comfort song. It works for everything. 37 00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,469 You remember when the dry cleaner shrunk my favorite sweater? 38 00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:37,723 ♪ Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? ♪ 39 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:40,726 You think Queen Jane stays in on a Saturday night? No! 40 00:01:40,726 --> 00:01:42,895 She's out on the town, crushing dick. 41 00:01:42,895 --> 00:01:46,356 Alright. I wish you'd stop saying "crushing dick" 42 00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:49,151 about feminist icons, but you're right. 43 00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,861 [both sigh] 44 00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:53,697 - Good! - [panting] 45 00:01:53,697 --> 00:01:56,825 'Cause I got us into FOMO tonight. 46 00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,036 What's FOMO? 47 00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:00,704 It stands for "fear of missing out." 48 00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,956 Yeah, I know what it stands for. Thanks. 49 00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,249 How do we go to it? 50 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:06,001 Oh. [laughs] 51 00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,003 FOMO is the name of this new club, 52 00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:09,963 which is a total sensory overload. 53 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,508 There are a million different rooms. 54 00:02:12,508 --> 00:02:14,801 A rave room, a foam party room, 55 00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,845 a topless room, a tapas room, 56 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:19,056 a topless tapas room. 57 00:02:19,056 --> 00:02:22,935 They say there's no such thing as having FOMO inside of FOMO. 58 00:02:22,935 --> 00:02:25,354 This will be perfect for you. Plus, 59 00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:27,856 I'm going to need a big night out after I end things with Charlie. 60 00:02:27,856 --> 00:02:30,484 Wait, you're ending things with Charlie? 61 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,945 I gotta. He's smothering me. 62 00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:35,197 [inhales, groans] 63 00:02:35,197 --> 00:02:35,864 [gasps] 64 00:02:35,864 --> 00:02:37,241 Morning, Valentina! 65 00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:41,078 I got us coffees from a real New York bod-ega 66 00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:43,288 and this chicken for dinner. I opened the package, 67 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:46,083 but I have no idea what happens next. 68 00:02:46,083 --> 00:02:47,918 This morning, 69 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,461 I told him the best New York bagels 70 00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:52,631 are in Jersey just to have a little time to myself. 71 00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,551 Anyway, I already drafted up a text. 72 00:02:55,551 --> 00:02:57,803 You cannot text break up with Charlie. 73 00:02:57,803 --> 00:03:00,222 You are crazy into the guy. You just told me yesterday 74 00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,348 you were obsessed with him. 75 00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,308 I did not. 76 00:03:03,308 --> 00:03:05,394 [panting] I'm obsessed with him! 77 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:09,731 Fine, I'm conflicted, okay? 78 00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,275 - [Sophie sighs] - I mean, 79 00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:14,027 he is fun... 80 00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,279 and sweet 81 00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:17,155 and hot. 82 00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,408 Plus, he does this thing in bed with his tongue 83 00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:22,202 where he folds it into a cloverleaf. 84 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,954 We call it lucky charming. 85 00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:26,415 Uh, breakfast! 86 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:29,251 - Most important meal of the day! - Girl... 87 00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,461 But he's always around. 88 00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,797 Valentina. Of course you think he's smothering you 89 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,966 because you're the only person he knows 90 00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,759 in the entire city. 91 00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,636 You just have to help him make some friends. 92 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,805 Ew. Sounds hard. 93 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:44,600 Yeah, well, if I have to be mature and stop dwelling on Ian, 94 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,143 then you need to be mature 95 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,687 and try a little harder with Charlie. 96 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:49,688 [scoffs] 97 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:51,815 Fine! 98 00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,317 Wow. 99 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:56,862 I can totally feel us growing right now. I think I finally even made good coffee. 100 00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:58,030 [clink] 101 00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,287 BOTH: Mm-hmm! 102 00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:09,082 So, how do I make Charlie friends? 103 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,877 Oh! I've got it. 104 00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,755 Step one, I make him a Grindr account. 105 00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,298 Step two, the guy shows up. 106 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,300 Step three, I lock the door... 107 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,386 Or we could invite those guys we hung out with last weekend 108 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,264 to come out with us. I feel like Charlie really hit it off with them 109 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,807 playing Drunk Face Jenga. 110 00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,018 JESSE: You have to have this. You have this. 111 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:30,479 [cheering] 112 00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:33,190 Oh my god! This is the best night of my life! 113 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:34,441 [cheering] 114 00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,069 Soph, I don't think either of those guys are on Grindr. 115 00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,279 No! No Grindr! 116 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,240 I'm DM-ing Jesse. 117 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,533 Yeah. I think White Dove 118 00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,743 is going to pop way more than Moonlight White. 119 00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:47,704 Yeah. This will definitely be what packs them into your bar. 120 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:50,582 Everyone's going to be like, "Hey, you got to check out Pemberton's. 121 00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,585 The upper walls are crisp AF!" 122 00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:57,214 All I want is some regulars coming in and ordering the usual, you know? 123 00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,842 Like when I bought this place, I really thought I could spruce it up, 124 00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,094 make it the perfect blend of classic New York 125 00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:03,136 and little titty! 126 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,346 - What? - SID: Oh, 127 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,474 Jasper taught me some cool new slang the NYU kids are saying. 128 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,768 Yeah, it's, uh, "litty titty," boss. 129 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,813 - God, he's cool! - [text chimes] 130 00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:17,192 Oh. I just got a DM from Sophie from last weekend. 131 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,570 ALL: Ooh! 132 00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:22,781 - Sophie likes Jesse! - Does not. 133 00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:25,492 She's asking if we all want to go to some club tonight. 134 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,370 I'll just tell her that we always spend Saturdays here, 135 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,163 - and that I hate clubs. - Huh? Hey... 136 00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:33,000 - What? - What are you doing? 137 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,710 A hot, cool woman just asked you on a date. 138 00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:37,045 You're really going to respond with "I hate clubs"? 139 00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,463 She didn't ask me on a date. 140 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,257 She asked if we wanted to hang out. 141 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,884 And just last week, I drove her to the airport, 142 00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,428 so she could tell another guy that she loved him. 143 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,430 Yeah, that was last week. And this is this week, 144 00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,849 and, clearly, she's looking for a hot rebound thang. 145 00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,476 Ellen, you're a woman. Tell your brother what's up. 146 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:54,438 I don't know if being a woman qualifies me 147 00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:57,441 to decipher the DMs of an erratic straight lady, 148 00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,276 but if I had to, 149 00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,278 yeah. She's simping. 150 00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:03,864 Jasper. Huh? 151 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:04,865 Bet. 152 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,159 You really think so? 153 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,620 I do. And I'm not just saying that 154 00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,414 because I'm dying for my first big New York night out. 155 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,125 - [Jesse groans] - [sighs] Come on, Jesse! 156 00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,711 I want to get dressed up in a cool jumpsuit 157 00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,880 and pay too much for a cocktail, 158 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,175 and then spill the overpriced cocktail all over my cool jumpsuit 159 00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:26,345 because some club asshole didn't look where he was going. 160 00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:27,721 Then be like, "Watch it!" 161 00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,015 But, he doesn't hear me because I mumble, 162 00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,017 and the sick beats are too loud. 163 00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,522 Wow. That was a very specific, 164 00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:38,440 very realistic fantasy. 165 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,651 And maybe, just maybe... 166 00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:45,113 I'd like to flirt with a cute girl who isn't my ex-wife. 167 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,574 Come on. Tell her yes. 168 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,785 You got to get back out there sometime. 169 00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,787 Yeah, seriously, man. Ever since Meredith dumped you, 170 00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,956 I've been spending 50 bucks a week on Kleenex. 171 00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:56,250 Wait, because you're crying 172 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,835 or because you're going to town on yourself? 173 00:06:57,835 --> 00:06:59,586 What? Ew! Crying! 174 00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:00,671 Bro... 175 00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,297 - Crying! - Bro... 176 00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:03,841 Both. 177 00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:07,302 ♪ 178 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,762 CHARLIE: Ooh! So exciting. 179 00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,306 My first traditional American friend setup. 180 00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:14,268 - Your what? - I told him that was a thing. Be cool. 181 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:16,311 Ooh! Almost forgot to put my cufflinks in. 182 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,605 Busted out the rubies to impress the boys. 183 00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,859 Oh! Charlie, come here. Look at me. 184 00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,529 Sid and Jesse don't wear cufflinks. 185 00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:28,365 They're just two regular New York guys. 186 00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,242 And if you want them to like you, 187 00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:32,995 you're just going to have to be a little more... 188 00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,205 of the people. Okay? 189 00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,541 - Of course. No problem. - [quiet laugh] 190 00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,877 I totally know how to do that. 191 00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:40,878 Great. 192 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,840 My cuffs are going to be flapping all over the place. 193 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,466 - Oh! Hey! - Hey! 194 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,801 [nervous laugh] 195 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:48,886 Cool shirt. 196 00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,346 Oh, this old thing? Thanks. 197 00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,890 Alright! 198 00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:55,893 FUTURE SOPHIE: But just when I was ready for a night of living in the moment... 199 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,478 ♪ 200 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,272 Son of a bitch. 201 00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:07,446 "My ship's deckhand has strong Momoa vibes." 202 00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:09,239 Ian texted you that? 203 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,699 - Son of a bitch! - SOPHIE: Right? 204 00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:14,453 Ian and I have this inside joke where we sneak selfies 205 00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,205 and text them to each other when we see someone 206 00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,956 who looks like Jason Momoa. 207 00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,125 There was Jason Mimosa, 208 00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,794 Jason Somosa, 209 00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,631 Jason with Boa. 210 00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:27,633 The last one was a stretch, but I felt the pressure to text 211 00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,843 because he'd sent, like, three in a row. 212 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,845 Yeah, I'm so glad I'm engaged. 213 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:36,099 Ian should know that the moment he rejected an LDR with Sophie, 214 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:39,228 he lost inside joke texting privileges. Sending this pic? 215 00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:42,231 Classic "have your cake and eat it, too." 216 00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,941 I actually hate cake. 217 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,361 Too hoity-toity. 218 00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,112 I'm more of a bread guy. 219 00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,323 Plain old bread that I rip up 220 00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:54,952 with my rough... calloused hands. 221 00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:58,205 Oh yeah. Yeah, b-bread's cool. 222 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,666 SOPHIE: This is so messed up. 223 00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:03,836 I refuse to spend another second thinking about Ian. 224 00:09:03,836 --> 00:09:05,379 [overlapping agreement] 225 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,465 I'm just going to write back something super witty and charming, 226 00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,342 just so he realizes what he's missing. 227 00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:11,593 [overlapping disagreement] 228 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,595 Okay! Okay, fine. 229 00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:15,180 Next! 230 00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:18,100 No photos allowed inside of FOMO. 231 00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,977 Please put these stickers on your cameras. 232 00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,104 I really don't think Sophie's into me. 233 00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:24,022 She's clearly still hung up on that Ian guy. 234 00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,691 Nah, I don't think so. 235 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:27,943 She just got a little rattled by his text is all. 236 00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:31,071 Give me the best table you got, okay? Tonight's a setup, 237 00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:34,199 and I'm gonna need it to be as fun as humanly possible. 238 00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,203 This is a trial-size vitamin C brightening serum. 239 00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:42,207 Take care of us, and mama's got more where that came from, daddio. 240 00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,586 Did you hear that? Tonight's a setup. 241 00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,713 Valentina's trying to help her girl 242 00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:48,964 get with my boy. 243 00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,258 Sophie did say my shirt was cool. 244 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,468 She compliments the shirt to get into the pants. 245 00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:56,555 - [nervous laugh, clears throat] - This is going to be the worst place ever. 246 00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:58,182 This is the best place ever! 247 00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,434 I wanted to hate the nostalgic candy room. 248 00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,352 Mm-mmm! Look at me now! 249 00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:05,105 [club music] 250 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,316 Is that girl making eyes at me, 251 00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,234 or is she trying to blink something out of her eye? 252 00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:13,238 Woo-woo! To a night of bonding with new friends! 253 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,616 And being in the moment. 254 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,826 Especially you guys, the three musketeers. 255 00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,912 The three who? 256 00:10:19,912 --> 00:10:23,498 What is that, some sort of fancy pants literary reference? 257 00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,791 I'm not much of a reader, you know. 258 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:28,587 Just give me the big game and a cold can of "puh-buh-ruh." 259 00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,714 What? What's "puh-buh-ruh"? 260 00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:34,092 Oh, it's that cheap beer 261 00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,887 that we regular men... love. 262 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,138 Do you mean PBR? 263 00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,767 Is that how it's pronounced? As PBR? 264 00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,769 [fake cheerfulness]: Oh, this is a disaster. 265 00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,688 [gasps] We just locked eyes again. 266 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,482 Okay, I'm going to go ask to buy her a drink. 267 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,653 - [thud] - Oh! 268 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,904 I'm good! 269 00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:57,533 [club music continues] 270 00:10:59,785 --> 00:11:00,661 [gags] 271 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,458 So this is pretty great, huh? 272 00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,460 If you told 8-year-old me that I'd be at a club 273 00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,088 with a hula hoop room, I'd have totally lost my shit. 274 00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:12,965 - Really? - Yeah. 275 00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:14,800 No, I was really into hula hooping growing up. 276 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,219 My mom said I had the loosest hips in Cincinnati. 277 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,638 Which I'm now realizing is a very disturbing thing 278 00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,223 to say to a young child. 279 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,434 Um... 280 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,521 Do-do you want to go to the, uh, candle room for a drink? 281 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,357 And that's when I realized that there was 282 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,901 a totally sweet, interested guy 283 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,570 right in front of me. 284 00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:36,822 Yeah. 285 00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,657 Yeah. I do. 286 00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:41,201 Cool. Uh, okay, I'll get drinks. I'll meet you there. 287 00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,293 FUTURE SOPHIE: But then, I spotted him, right there, 288 00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,878 in the middle of FOMO. 289 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,005 The ultimate Momoa-lookalike. 290 00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,592 FOMO-Moa. 291 00:11:56,592 --> 00:12:00,053 ♪ classical music ♪ 292 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,014 Hey! H-how's it going with Eye Contact Girl? 293 00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:04,224 Oh, I moved on to No Bra Bethany! 294 00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:07,227 She's really nice. 295 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,814 FUTURE SOPHIE: It was like the universe 296 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,775 was testing my willpower to stay in the moment, 297 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:16,570 and I was immediately failing that test. 298 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,946 I had to get a picture. 299 00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,656 Hey! 300 00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,576 [gasps] You're taking a picture of that Momoa for Ian. 301 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,037 I wanna send him a stupid text to make him laugh. 302 00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:26,663 So then, he'll write me back and make me laugh. 303 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,290 And if that's immature, I just don't care! 304 00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:31,585 Well, if you get to text Ian, then I get to break up with Charlie. 305 00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,837 Fine! I say, do it. 306 00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:36,298 Screw being mature. Alright? We're young! 307 00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,592 We can still make bad choices for a few more years. 308 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,678 Yes! That's how we'll learn the lessons we need to become 309 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,515 super-wise dick-crushing old people like Jane Fonda. 310 00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:45,682 Exactly! 311 00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,060 - Good talk. - Yep. Love you. 312 00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,311 - Love you. - Bye. 313 00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:51,855 Alright. 314 00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:54,733 I got ya. 315 00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:57,402 - [shutter snaps] - Hey! 316 00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,154 No photos at FOMO! 317 00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:02,199 Especially here at FOMO Soho. At FOMO Noho, 318 00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:04,409 you want a photo? Sure! YOLO! 319 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:08,080 But at Soho FOMO, photos are no-no. You gotta go, yo! 320 00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,086 [club music] 321 00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,755 So, what's your favorite entry-level sedan? 322 00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:21,343 - Have you guys seen Sophie anywhere? - Uh, no. 323 00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:24,596 Well, if this is a setup, it's the worst setup I've ever been on. 324 00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:27,057 This is a setup between Jesse and Sophie, too? 325 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,976 Uh, what do you mean "too"? 326 00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,937 Well, Valentina's setting the three of us up tonight, 327 00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,231 on a traditional American friends setup. 328 00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,400 Charlie! 329 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,194 - We need to talk. - Hey, uh, quick Q. 330 00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:42,447 Is tonight a setup between Charlie and us or Jesse and Sophie? 331 00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,700 Charlie and you guys. Sophie isn't ready for a setup. 332 00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,201 She's still totally obsessed with Ian. 333 00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,995 Oh no. 334 00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,998 Did you think tonight was about you and Sophie? 335 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,375 You know, I really, really didn't, but... 336 00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,211 someone convinced me it was. 337 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,131 I'm sorry, man. 338 00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:01,175 Let's just go back to my bar, okay? 339 00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,677 With its lackluster drinks and zero activities. 340 00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,180 Hey! Maybe Jasper will hang out with us. 341 00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,724 [club music] 342 00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,726 Your sister's got game. 343 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:13,770 Be honest with me. 344 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,982 Is a traditional American friend setup even a thing? 345 00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:19,276 No, it's not. 346 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,112 I thought maybe if you had your own crew to hang out with, 347 00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,822 I would feel less smothered. 348 00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,074 You feel smothered? 349 00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,161 But I'm always the little spoon. 350 00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:32,247 You're great, Charlie, but you're just... 351 00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,666 always there, and it-it's just too much for me. 352 00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,668 I think we should go our separate ways. 353 00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:39,004 Well, why didn't you just tell me that you needed space? 354 00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:41,215 That's why you sent me to Jersey for the bagels. Okay. 355 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,841 Wow. 356 00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,219 If this is how you deal with the tiniest little wrinkle, 357 00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:46,470 then I agree. 358 00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,388 We should end things. 359 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,523 Can't believe I lucky charmed you twice this morning. 360 00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:02,194 I crunched your captain twice, too! It was an even trade! 361 00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,531 [singing]: ♪ Tell me... ♪ 362 00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:08,909 ♪ Did you sail across the sun? ♪ 363 00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,787 ♪ Did you make it to the Milky Way ♪ 364 00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:14,873 [singing]: ♪ To see the lights all faded ♪ 365 00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:18,043 ♪ And that Heaven is overrated ♪ 366 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,795 [muffled club music] 367 00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:23,298 - I got kicked out of FOMO. - I broke up with Charlie. 368 00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:25,592 How did he take it? 369 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,512 He said I should have just told him I needed some space. 370 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,849 Funny. I never thought of that. 371 00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:34,142 I thought of it. I just didn't wanna do it 372 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:37,020 'cause if you tell a guy what you need, and he does it, 373 00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,523 then when he tells you what he needs, you have to do it. 374 00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:43,652 And I don't want to do that. I only want to do exactly what I want 375 00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:45,904 when I want, how I want. 376 00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,991 And now, you can. 377 00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:52,202 Did Ian like your Momoa pic? 378 00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,162 I haven't sent it. 379 00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:57,040 - I can't decide if I'm going to. - Mm. 380 00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,126 [laughs] You know, 381 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:02,004 Jesse thought you invited everyone out tonight because you were into him. 382 00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,673 Oh my god, I left him waiting for me in the candle room! 383 00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:06,967 And his shirt looked very flammable. 384 00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,385 Don't worry, he got out. 385 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:10,721 - [Sophie sighs] - All the guys left. 386 00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:13,724 Looks like you two are having a good night. 387 00:16:13,724 --> 00:16:15,350 Who hurt you!? 388 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,685 ♪ 389 00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:23,066 - Gin martini with a twist. - Thanks. 390 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,527 [quiet music] 391 00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,112 Mm. 392 00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,406 And thanks for giving me another chance. 393 00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:30,616 Mates. 394 00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:32,951 I swear when I'm allowed to be my normal fancy self, 395 00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,536 I'm an absolute bloody delight. 396 00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:37,998 Those cufflinks are gorgeous. 397 00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,128 [emotional]: Thank you. 398 00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:47,424 By the way, I noticed how crisp your upper walls look. 399 00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,551 Is it White Dove? 400 00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:53,347 Yeah. Yeah, it is. 401 00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,682 Hey. 402 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,100 Come here, we need to talk. 403 00:17:01,897 --> 00:17:03,190 SID: Ooh... 404 00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,651 Here. It's from Essa Bagel. 405 00:17:05,651 --> 00:17:07,277 Best bagels in the city. 406 00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,530 It's where I should have sent you instead of Jersey. 407 00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:12,699 Well, I mean, how different can they be? 408 00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:18,455 Oh my god, those Jersey bagels are just little shit circles, aren't they? 409 00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:20,624 You were right. 410 00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:22,584 I should have just told you that I needed some space. 411 00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:24,878 I'm... really sorry. 412 00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:29,800 This isn't going to work. 413 00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,344 Oh. 414 00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:34,972 You know, living together, it's... it's too much. 415 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,933 So, I am going to move out. 416 00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:40,018 Oh. 417 00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:44,022 Then, I would like to take you on a first date. 418 00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:46,859 Oh? 419 00:17:46,859 --> 00:17:49,069 We never really had one of those. 420 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,488 We do need to take a step back and... 421 00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,824 start at the beginning. 422 00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:55,826 I'd love that. 423 00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,663 So, seeing as how we're easing into things, 424 00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:01,707 we probably shouldn't go and have sex in the storage closet. 425 00:18:01,707 --> 00:18:03,750 - [laughs] - Bring the bagel. 426 00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:11,175 Hey! How you guys doing? Don't care! 427 00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:15,679 I just had the best night of my life! 428 00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,514 Somebody get lucky at Club FOMO? 429 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:18,891 No! 430 00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:22,144 - I was rejected constantly. - Hi! I'm Ellen... 431 00:18:23,312 --> 00:18:26,023 I got way too drunk way too fast, 432 00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:28,942 and struck out many, many times. 433 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,652 - [clink] - Cheers. 434 00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,489 So, why are you so happy? 435 00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:37,826 Because even though five... No, wait. 436 00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,453 [mumbling] Six! 437 00:18:39,453 --> 00:18:42,122 Six women didn't want to give me their numbers, 438 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:45,292 there are so many more out there waiting for me. 439 00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:48,086 - New York rules! - SID: Woo! 440 00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,546 I'll drink to that! 441 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:53,050 - [click] - Just play, damn it. 442 00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:55,302 Really need this right now. 443 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,012 Why does everything in the world hate me? 444 00:18:57,638 --> 00:18:58,639 - Hey. - Hey. 445 00:18:58,639 --> 00:18:59,973 Hey! 446 00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,100 [laughs] Just... playing a song. 447 00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,478 No big thang. 448 00:19:06,063 --> 00:19:07,314 [sighs] 449 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,566 I hope this doesn't make you feel too uncomfortable, 450 00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,944 but I know that you thought tonight was a setup. 451 00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:16,031 I'm extremely uncomfortable, but go ahead. [clears throat] 452 00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,743 I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. 453 00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:22,079 And for standing you up in the candle room earlier. 454 00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:25,541 It's fine. I mean, it stung for a sec, but nothing a quick spin 455 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:28,460 in the old hula hoop room couldn't fix. [laughs] 456 00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,424 Jesse... 457 00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:37,094 I'm a mess right now. 458 00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:40,556 And I know that you've been through a lot with your ex, 459 00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:44,351 and that dating in the city can make you feel... 460 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:47,020 hopeless and alone and like you will never find someone 461 00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:50,148 who realizes how amazing you are. 462 00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:53,861 And... I don't want to be one of those people who make you feel like that. 463 00:19:55,821 --> 00:19:57,322 Because I actually can see it. 464 00:20:00,534 --> 00:20:02,536 I'm a mess, too. [scoffs] 465 00:20:02,536 --> 00:20:04,246 I mean, it literally took all of my energy 466 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,623 just to put this stupid shirt on and leave the house tonight, 467 00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,625 and being in that... 468 00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:11,378 horrible club just made me miss staying home 469 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,088 and watching Love Island with Meredith. 470 00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,299 Even though Meredith is a terrible person 471 00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:16,967 who publicly rejected my proposal 472 00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:18,635 and took my cat in our breakup. 473 00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,554 Oh! She got the cat? 474 00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:22,723 No, not the cat. My cat. 475 00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,184 My 11-year-old cat that I rescued from a shelter, 476 00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:28,187 and named Girl so that I could call her Jesse's Girl. 477 00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:30,772 Oh my god... 478 00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,569 And now you wish that you had Jesse's Girl. 479 00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,573 Like I said, I'm a mess, too. 480 00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,744 Well, maybe we could be friends that are messes 481 00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,829 instead of two messes who try to date 482 00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:49,374 because that would just inevitably be... a mess. 483 00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:53,420 Yeah, that sounds like a really good plan. 484 00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:57,799 - [door opens] - VALENTINA: Oh! Hello, everyone. 485 00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:01,178 [laughs] 486 00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:03,597 Why are you covered in poppy seeds? 487 00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:04,973 Don't worry about it. 488 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,144 I'll have another drink, please. Just the usual. 489 00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:11,480 Gin martini with a twist coming right up. 490 00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,984 He has a usual! Jasper. 491 00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:18,403 Jasper... He has a usual. 492 00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:20,197 Yo, that's fire, man. 493 00:21:20,197 --> 00:21:22,366 Yo, I need, uh, next Saturday off. 494 00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:25,327 Um, also, right now, I'm leaving early. 495 00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:27,829 Hey, buh-buh-buh! You got it, buddy. Get out of here. 496 00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,998 ♪ Drops of Jupiter playing ♪ 497 00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:31,458 - Is this... - JESSE: Yes. 498 00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:34,378 Drops of Jupiter. I-I know it's kind of cheesy, 499 00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:37,381 but it's just... sort of my comfort song. 500 00:21:37,381 --> 00:21:41,051 ♪ With drops of Jupiter in her hair ♪ 501 00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:45,973 FUTURE SOPHIE: It was hard to live in the moment in 2022. 502 00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:49,059 There was always someplace else you could be, 503 00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:50,811 someone else you could be with. 504 00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:52,980 But every once in a while, 505 00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:55,649 you found yourself in the exact right spot. 506 00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:59,695 And you had that rarest of moments 507 00:21:59,695 --> 00:22:03,574 where you had absolutely no FOMO, 508 00:22:03,574 --> 00:22:07,160 and you could just... be. 509 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,580 ♪ Hey... yeah ♪ 510 00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:11,832 ♪ But tell me ♪ 511 00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:14,793 ♪ Did you sail across the sun? ♪ 512 00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:17,254 ♪ Did you make it to the Milky Way ♪ 513 00:22:17,254 --> 00:22:19,965 ♪ To see the lights are faded ♪ 514 00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:22,676 ♪ And that Heaven is overrated? ♪ 515 00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:26,388 ♪ Tell me, did you fall from a shooting star? ♪ 516 00:22:27,139 --> 00:22:29,266 ♪ One without a permanent scar ♪ 517 00:22:29,266 --> 00:22:30,851 ♪ And did you miss me ♪ 518 00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:33,896 ♪ While you looking for yourself ♪ 519 00:22:33,896 --> 00:22:35,814 ♪ Out there? ♪ 520 00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:38,817 ♪ 521 00:22:38,842 --> 00:22:44,302 Ripped and corrected by - YoungJedi - 38776

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