All language subtitles for Best Shape of My Life s01e02 My Secret Shame.eng

[Will] My father was my hero.

His name was
Willard Carroll Smith

but we all called him Daddy-O.

He demanded rigid perfection
from himself and the people around him.

When I was 11 years old,
he decided he wanted

a new wall on the front
of his shop.

He thought it would be
a good project for my younger brother Harry and me.

Every day for nearly a year

my brother and I
would go to my father's shop after school

to work on that wall.

There were so many times
I remember looking at that hole totally discouraged.

But Daddy-O wouldn't
let us stop.

"Stop thinking about
the damn wall," he said.

"Your job is to lay
this brick perfectly.

Then move on to the next brick.

Don't be worrying about
no wall.

Your only concern is
one brick."

Don't worry about
building no wall.

Just lay one perfect
brick today.

[Will] What was wrong with me?

Why was I so afraid?

Why was I such a coward?
Such a coward.

Just reinforce my shame.

I was the weak.
I was the coward.

My thoughts were swirling

caused me to feel more ashamed
and more self-loathing.

And everybody's looking at me.

I didn't have control over...

It began to dawn on me

that my overcompensation
and fake bravado were

really just another
more insidious manifestation of the cowardly.

My thoughts were swirling.
I didn't have control over them.

I was overcome with shame.
Shame, shame, shame.

[grunts]

Shit.

Nice.

It's the right weight, mate.

[Aaron] Last week
Will actually gained weight.

You know, and this was
when he was hitting the workouts pretty hard.

Two twenty-two.

I put weight on.

[Aaron] And obviously,
there's always gonna be a reaction to that.

Nein.

That's, uh... that's exact...

See that face right then,
right at the end,

that's exactly what it is.

Goes into a totally
different space.

No, that was nein
'cause see, it's my mind, so, I'm trying to find a balance...

I get it.

between being safe...

And I wanna call security...

for me.

Alright. I'm going
for three pounds this week.

Just make sure you put some
protein and some fats in.

So you still wanna crunch.

Use that crunch.

There you go.

[Ramani] Will really derives
his sense of self from always succeeding.

And being well-liked.

The need to feel like
I'm going to be loved.

I'm going to win.

And for Will, this is his drug.

But unfortunately as with
any addiction it can kinda get a little out of control.

Come on, Will.

Get your head back!

This little ass weight
that you can't lift.

[Will] My father was military.
He was air force.

I grew up with the double-edged
gift of discipline.

You know, that was
the hardest day so far.

I slept perfectly.
Just woke up, uh, really depleted.

It was military motivation
in my house.

You get that flag...
to the top of that hill.

And his other
favorite thing was...

when I send you on a mission,
there's two possibilities.

One, you complete the mission.

Or two, you're dead.

-Nice. That's what we want.
-Burn.

Burn.

[Will] I'm exhausted.

I got nothing.

Yeah, shoulders back.

Seven. That's good.

That's enough.

Yeah, Will... Will didn't
turn up for the session today.

It always bums me out when,
um... when we miss a session.

Consistency is key, so,
you know, it would be great to have... him here

but, uh, yeah, he's not...
yeah, he didn't... didn't turn up for this one.

-How are you feeling
this morning, Will? -Low energy.

You weren't happy
with the result last week 'cause your weight was up.

No, I was happy.
I was happy.

-You were okay?
-I wasn't.

Did you react to it,
in terms of the amount of food that you ate this week?

-Yeah, see that's the--
-No! No!

-No!
-Yeah, you did.

I didn't. I didn't.

-You did.
-I didn't.

Okay. Are we...

Is this a honest show
or are we gonna...

Yeah, let's... let's... let's...

Let's shoot for honesty.

Let's shoot for honesty.

I had two days' worth
of reaction.

-Um...
-What'd you do?

Oh, just...

Like, 500 calories in the--

Eggs! Eg... Boiled eggs,
raw vegetables. That's it!

-The whole day?
-The whole day.

And I was doing like...
14 hours of fast.

I would go, I would like,
stop eating.

You know, right, so,
I know that worked before, you know.

[Will] I was on a tear.

The biggest winning streak
in Hollywood history.

I was working 70 to 80 hours
a week.

Holidays, weekends,
even vacations

became a time to advance.

I noticed that most people came
back from Christmas vacation

heavier and out of shape.

So, the holidays for me
became an opportunity to extend my lead.

I made it a point
to come back every new year

in better shape
than I left last.

I would workout and
sometimes even abstain from Christmas dinner

as an act of personal
discipline.

What do you mean
when you say fasting worked before?

Um...

Hey guys, sorry, we,
uh, have to change cards.

Yup.

Is that a tough question
or something?

So, as I sit here right now,

we're attempting to be honest.

Wait, what does that mean?

-When... when it was...
-[laughter]

When it was decided

that we were going to do

the weight loss,

Aaron said, "Let's weigh in."

And I said, "No."

So, a week before
the cameras showed up,

I weighed in at 226.

Wait. So...

A week before the filming
on January 1st

you lost five pounds in a week
from just going...

I did a fast.

Like, so why did you want to
lose weight in order to...

I just didn't want to be on
camera at damn near 230 pounds.

[laughter]

The 226 was the most
I've ever weighed.

Did he know at that point?

Aaron?

No.

I told him later.

For Will, goals are everything.

It's pretty clear that that came

a lot from childhood,

where Will really
had this sense of

I've got to work,
I've got to succeed

I've got to lose
this much weight.

He has to win completely.

To stay safe.

To stay in control.

One of the challenges though is
control is always an illusion.

And when we start getting
into the illusion of control over food

it actually can get
quite tricky.

I'm not into fasting
as a way of weight loss.

I don't like it, uh, at all

and I don't think it's
a healthy way to go about it.

-It's not actually
peanut butter. -It's a kind of peanut butter.

-It's a kinda peanut butter.
-Must be almond butter.

-Almond butter.
-Almond butter.

So, it's almond butter,
banana...

Um... what's the cracker?

-Seed cracker.
-Seed cracker.

[Aaron] We brought in Mona.
She's a nutritionist.

And also,
with Will's doctor we're

gonna try to set up
a sustainable diet

that's gonna be healthy
and he's gonna have all the energy that he needs.

So, this is guacamole,
seed cracker and sprouts.

[Mona] We had to focus on
this idea of nourishment.

How's it going to feel
to nourish your body with the right foods?

So... so, we're trying to find
pre-workout options for you.

So when we look down
at his plate,

we want to make sure
that there is 60-70%

of high-quality
plant-base foods.

[Mona] We also want to
make sure that there is a high-quality protein

and good quality fat.

Second sip got better,
third sip?

-Yeah, this is horrible. So...
-Right.

But... it's not about taste, no.

Scoty just finished his.

-It's not about taste.
-It's not that bad.

[laughing]

So, you are ridiculously
disciplined.

You follow your regimen,
you do your exercise training,

and you're obviously
gonna be expending more energy exercising.

-Mm-hmm.
-Right?

How do we make sure
that you are replenishing,

you know, in terms
of your nutrition to

lose the weight
and get to where you wanna be?

Yeah, actually today
we put a monitoring system on him.

So, it'll measure
exactly how many calories

-that he's burning
on a daily basis. -Okay.

So, if we're looking to lose
a pound a week,

one pound roughly equates to
around 3500 calories.

So, divided by seven,
it's 500 calorie deficit a day.

-Which is a minimal amount.
-Okay.

Also, I'd just like to
point out, it might look like

Scoty's been
taking notes furiously. I just want to show...

Yeah, so, he... it looks like
he has not been taking notes.

Scoty has not been taking notes.

[laughing]

He's like, I wish I was home.

-Where is that?
-Trinidad, man.

Going to the stage like
it's a big fight, son.

Excuse me.

Good morning.

That was an accident.

No, it wasn't.

It was an ass-kadent.

An ass-kadent.

An ass-kadent.

[Ramani]
Will treats the weigh-ins

in his typically
light-hearted way.

So, I was trying to lose a pound
and I gained a pound last week.

[Ramani] But deep down
the number on the scale

means everything.

We got to know
if we're making progress.

It was, uh, 220.6.

Two twenty point six.

That's exactly what we want,
every week.

I've never looked this bad.

I'mma fix it though.

[Will] Are we rolling...
Oh, okay.

So, how are you gonna fix it,
Will?

Uh, we're going to Dubai.

What's so special about Dubai?

[Will] Dubai...

fits my personality.

It just speaks to,
how I see the world. How I see life.

If you're gonna build a building

are you really not gonna try
to build

The Burj Khalifa?

And I guess the best thing
about Dubai

is that it's 12 hours away
from Los Angeles.

When they're awake, I'm asleep.

When they're asleep, I'm awake.

It's like, it's perfect.

There's like no contact.

No phone calls.

[Will] I want to get my body
and my mind

in the best shape they can be,

so, I can feel good,
look good

and be in a headspace
that allows me to get this book done.

[Aaron] Look, I... I think
it's challenging for anyone

to really change
their eating habits.

The... the best way to be
able to do that

is if you can stick to a plan
for a limited amount of time

and start to see the results

it will inspire you
to stay with that plan.

Nice one. Really good, Will.

I'm gonna get strong.

About to get strong.

[Will] I learned how to...
to discipline

my mind at a really young age.

When there was a flag
to get to the top of the hill,

I never struggled too much

with doing whatever
needed to be done

to complete my... my mission.

I got it.

[indistinct]

DJ Jazzy Jeff!

[clapping]

[indistinct]

My guy!

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.

♪ A smooth operator
I'm a smooth operator ♪

Jeff was the first friend
I'd ever had who plain and simple outworked me.

I met Jeff for the first time
in a basement in the mid-80s.

There was a band-aid around
his middle scratching finger on his left hand.

Apparently, he had
been scratching so much

that the top knuckle of his
finger now had a bend in it.

I think it would be
a misrepresentation to say

that Jeff practiced a lot.

It wasn't that he was
practicing, it was that he didn't do anything else.

You'd never catch Jeff
in the kitchen or watching TV.

[Will] Jeff was standing
in front of his turntables

14 to 18 hours a day,
seven days a week.

Three hundred and
sixty-five days a year.

By the time I'd get to rehearsal
around 4PM

Jeff had already put in
ten hours of work.

He was a hip-hop terminator.

He didn't eat,
he didn't sleep,

and he absolutely,
positively would not stop

until you were dead.

Those early month's in
Jeff's basement were among the most creative times

I've ever experienced.

I never wanted to leave.

We were seeking our sound,
but we found ourselves.

We became the first rappers ever
to receive a Grammy Award.

[Will laughing]

The point is, I know I'm a big,
famous movie guy,

but back in the '80s, Jazzy Jeff
was the star.

It was me backing him up.

But you know what
I'm thinking about it is

when something is good,
it doesn't matter

-how long it is.
-[Will] Yeah.

Records were Jeff's bricks.

It was fun for me to be able to
write about him,

to show the world the evolution
of the greatest DJ that's ever lived.

And I hope I can capture
some of,

you know, the depth
and the beauty of his heart

and his talent in this book.

So, that's what we're here for.

Let's see, my estimation is...

That's a great result, dude!

You know, I'll take that.
That's what I was thinking.

I got carb depleted
the other day

and fell out of the...
the workout.

You know, the... protein

and the carbs and fats
and it's... it's like a lesson.

Try to figure out
what to eat and when,

and all of that,
to burn the maximum fat, build the maximum muscle

but still have energy.

So, we are outside of
The Burj Khalifa.

It's the tallest building...
on Earth.

For our cardio, we're gonna
just walk the stairs all the way to the top.

-How many floors are there,
Aaron? -Hundred and sixty floors.

A hundred and sixty floors.

So, we're gonna try to scale
a hundred and sixty floors.

I hope we haven't taken on--

Taken on a little bit too much.

So, this is official one.
This is ground level. Level one.

-So, this is the first...
-First... first leg.

First leg...
of The Burj Khalifa.

I've got a bad feeling
about the whole thing.

-Yeah.
-I think we should call it.

Okay.

Alright. Here we go.

[Will] Through laying bricks
Daddy-O was training me

in limitless perseverance

in the face of any
and all inner enemies.

Assisted rescue area.

I'm... I'm gonna need that.

For my entire career, I've been
committed to a work ethic

of uncompromising intensity.

You show up
and you lay another brick.

Pissed off, lay another brick.

Bad opening weekend,
lay another brick.

Album sales dropping,
lay another brick.

Marriage failing, lay another
brick.

-[Aaron] How you doing
big fella? -[Will] I'm great.

We're good.
We're golden here.

We need to create some drama.

It'll come.

[Will] Nearly a year
after my brother and I had started the wall

we mixed the final pile
and laid the final brick.

Daddy-O plucked his cigarette
to the ground

and said,"Now, don't y'all ever
tell me there's something you can't do."

Seventy!

Hope our legs don't lock up.

We are very, very tired.

Uh, 60 floors to go.

Let's go.

[Will] My father gave me
my name.

He gave me his name.

And he gave me
my greatest advantage in life.

The ability to persist
in the face of anything.

To always get up
and lay another brick.

He gave me Will.

Nicely done, boys.

-Last two!
-There you go.

One sixty, baby!

One sixty.

One sixty.

[indistinct]

Shit.

[Will] So, I was looking
at the building

and it dawned on me

that we hadn't actually
climbed to the top of The Burj Khalifa.

And my sense of accomplishment

turned into a dejected
sense of failure.

Um, so, we decided
that we were going to

actually climb to the top
of The Burj Khalifa.

[Ramani] During his life,
the challenge was that

once Will started succeeding

and this is such a danger
to people who start succeeding,

especially when they
start succeeding young.

You've set yourself up
that you have to keep winning.

It's almost like a team
with an unbeaten record.

This is safety gear, so why...
why do we need so much safety gear?

'Cause I don't know
what's up there.

So, this is concerning that
we need this much safety gear.

Another 200 meters.

Another 200 meters.
Alright, let's see what happens.

This is madness.

We are now about to enter...
It's called the spire, right?

We're about to enter the spire.

This is the individual
highest point

that a human being

can be in a man-made
structure on Earth!

On Earth!

[echoing]
Earth. Earth. Earth. Earth.

[Ramani] Will is so
able to sort of

master anything
through hard work

and looks like the most
eminent success.

But that didn't come
without a cost.

[Will] ...real good.

-[man] Yeah.
-[Will] We're good?

-Here I go.
-[man] Yeah, go for it.

This is rolling, and just try
and throw it out.

It's a ten-foot pole.

Well, I probably won't
throw it out.

Please don't.

Please don't. Yes, exactly.

[Jada] So, you plan on getting
in the best shape--

[Will] The best shape of my life
at 52.

-Like even better than I, Robot?
-At 52...

Even better than I, Robot.

-Damn it!
-Hey, Will, it's Danny. Just want to check

on how the latest chapters
are coming along.

You're willing to jump off
a plane.

[Aaron] Will's always taking
on hundreds of different things at once.

I'm... I'm done.

I'm done.

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