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1
00:00:04,265 --> 00:00:06,136
Hey, what you reading?
2
00:00:06,180 --> 00:00:07,877
A magazine.
3
00:00:07,920 --> 00:00:09,922
Oh. Making a collage for school?
4
00:00:09,966 --> 00:00:11,707
No, just reading it.
5
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,491
Look at that.
6
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:16,538
Maybe Sheldon isn'’t
the only bookworm around here.
7
00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:17,452
Which magazine?
8
00:00:17,495 --> 00:00:19,367
Cosmopolitan. What?
9
00:00:19,410 --> 00:00:22,370
It'’s a magazine
for today'’s woman.
10
00:00:22,413 --> 00:00:25,373
Hey! I was about to find out
what turns a man on.
11
00:00:25,416 --> 00:00:26,678
Where'’d you get this?
12
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:29,159
Heather. I traded
a Fruit Roll-Up for it.
13
00:00:29,203 --> 00:00:31,466
Well, this is going
in the garbage.
You sure?
14
00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:34,338
It'’s got some great tips on
how to spice up your marriage.
15
00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:37,080
My marriage is fine, thank you.
16
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:40,388
And you are not to bring filth
like this into our house again.
17
00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:42,390
That'’s not fair.
Sheldon reads dirty stuff
18
00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:44,522
all the time,
and you don'’t say anything.
19
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:45,654
He does not.
20
00:00:45,697 --> 00:00:47,612
Check out the comic book
on his desk.
21
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,531
MARY:
What?
22
00:00:53,575 --> 00:00:54,663
Oh, my goodness.
23
00:00:54,706 --> 00:00:56,491
Oh.
24
00:00:56,534 --> 00:00:58,406
Oh, my.
25
00:00:58,449 --> 00:00:59,755
Hold on.
26
00:00:59,798 --> 00:01:01,235
No. No.
27
00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:04,194
Th-This blue man'’s backside
is all over the place.
28
00:01:04,238 --> 00:01:07,284
On page 112, you get to see
his front side.
29
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:09,808
Oh!
30
00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:14,117
I'’ll be back.Where you going?
31
00:01:14,161 --> 00:01:16,337
To give the owner
of that comic book store
32
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:17,947
a piece of my mind!Cool.
33
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:20,558
And then I'’m calling
Heather'’s mom!
34
00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:23,257
Aw.
35
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:26,129
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
36
00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:29,045
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain
37
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,482
♪ I bet I could be your hero
38
00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:34,094
♪ I am a mighty little man
39
00:01:34,137 --> 00:01:38,315
♪ I am a mighty little man.♪
40
00:01:40,970 --> 00:01:44,147
♪ Someone told me long ago
41
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:46,802
♪ There'’s a calm
before the storm ♪
42
00:01:46,845 --> 00:01:48,064
♪ I know
43
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,806
♪ It'’s been coming
for some time... ♪
44
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:53,635
Are there any
Vietnamese superheroes?
45
00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:56,116
There'’s one called
Half-Face.
46
00:01:56,159 --> 00:01:57,769
Why?
47
00:01:57,813 --> 00:02:00,032
The communist government
forced him to build bombs,
48
00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:01,643
and one blew off
half his face.
49
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:04,341
The left half or the right half?
50
00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:05,734
The bottom half.
51
00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:08,737
That'’s an important half.
52
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:12,871
Excuse me.
Did you sell this to my son?
53
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:14,351
I don'’t know.
Who'’s your son?
54
00:02:14,395 --> 00:02:16,266
The little boy in the corner.
55
00:02:18,486 --> 00:02:20,836
Which one?Sheldon Cooper.
56
00:02:20,879 --> 00:02:23,186
Oh. Yeah.
57
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,666
Look at him!
58
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:27,321
He is the same size as
one of the dolls you sell here.
59
00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:28,626
Those are action figures.
60
00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:30,541
Where is your sense
of responsibility?
61
00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:32,195
Have you looked
inside this book?
62
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:33,327
Because I have.
63
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:34,850
ADULT SHELDON:
At that moment,
64
00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:37,896
I felt a subtle heat
rising through my body.
65
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:40,638
I was used to being humiliated
by my siblings
66
00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:42,553
on a daily basis,
but from my mother?
67
00:02:42,597 --> 00:02:44,555
This was new territory.
68
00:02:44,599 --> 00:02:47,123
Mom, you'’re embarrassing me.
69
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,733
Oh, is that right?
70
00:02:48,777 --> 00:02:50,431
Well, guess what.
I don'’t care.
71
00:02:50,474 --> 00:02:52,041
And if I catch you
doing it again,
72
00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:54,609
I'’ll be back with my husband;
he is way scarier than me.
73
00:02:54,652 --> 00:02:56,654
I doubt that.Let'’s go.
74
00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:58,830
But I came here with Tam.
75
00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:00,745
Tam, you coming or not?
76
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:02,225
I'’m good.
77
00:03:02,269 --> 00:03:03,400
♪ I want to know
78
00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:06,098
♪ Have you ever seen the rain?
79
00:03:06,142 --> 00:03:07,578
♪ I want to know
80
00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:10,712
♪ Have you ever
seen the rain... ♪
81
00:03:12,540 --> 00:03:16,413
As you can see,
I'’m not related to them.
82
00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:21,592
WEATHERMAN :
And in local weather,
83
00:03:21,636 --> 00:03:24,160
the tornado watch issued Tuesday
is still in effect for the area.
84
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,163
Stay right here for updates
as we get '’em.
85
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,035
I don'’t understand why
you'’d even be interested
86
00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,428
in a book like that.
87
00:03:31,472 --> 00:03:33,082
One of the characters
is a scientist
88
00:03:33,125 --> 00:03:34,866
who worked on
the Manhattan Project.
89
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:37,260
Well, it'’s filled with
violence and nudity,
90
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:39,175
and you are done looking at it.
91
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,742
But comics are a form of art.
92
00:03:40,785 --> 00:03:42,134
You wouldn'’t forbid me
from looking
93
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:44,746
at Michelangelo'’s David
just because he'’s nude.
94
00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:46,835
When a statue
of your naked blue fella
95
00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:48,706
is on display at the Vatican,
we'’ll talk.
96
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:52,144
Actually, David is at the
Accademia Gallery in Florence.
97
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:55,583
Doesn'’t matter. I don't want you
looking at his bottom either.
98
00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:59,195
Where'’s Mom?
99
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,806
Chewing out the guy
who runs the comic book store.
100
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:02,851
Why?
101
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,722
She found
an inappropriate comic
102
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:07,203
that Sheldon had
and went ballistic.
103
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:08,683
She also took my Cosmo.
104
00:04:08,726 --> 00:04:10,772
What'’s a Cosmo?
105
00:04:10,815 --> 00:04:13,122
A magazine for
today'’s woman.
106
00:04:13,165 --> 00:04:14,776
Sucks for you.
107
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:17,735
You know, if I had something in
my room she might disapprove of,
108
00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:20,521
I might be looking
for a real good hiding place
109
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,000
right about now.
110
00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:24,002
I think I'’m okay.
111
00:04:24,046 --> 00:04:25,700
Your air vent?
112
00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,272
Boys are dumb.
113
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,752
D-U-M-B.
114
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:37,102
Dumb
115
00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:48,810
What are you doing?
116
00:04:48,853 --> 00:04:51,073
Confiscating your comic books.
117
00:04:51,116 --> 00:04:53,075
You can have them back
when you'’re 18.
118
00:04:53,118 --> 00:04:54,990
You'’re taking
Casper the Friendly Ghost?
119
00:04:55,033 --> 00:04:57,558
Ghosts are sacrilegious.
Nothing friendly about that.
120
00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:59,342
Very well.
121
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:01,344
There'’s one more book
that belongs in the box,
122
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:06,610
filled with adultery, genocide,
and even human sacrifice.
123
00:05:06,654 --> 00:05:09,439
You think you'’re so smart.
124
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:13,487
I do. And yet you continue
to treat me like a child.
125
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:15,750
You know what?
126
00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:18,579
You want me to treat you
like an adult, you got it.
127
00:05:18,622 --> 00:05:21,016
From this moment on,
I am done mommy-ing you.
128
00:05:21,059 --> 00:05:25,107
Wonderful. Does that mean
I can have my comic books back?
129
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:28,240
Comic books are for children.
You'’re an adult.
130
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:39,556
ADULT SHELDON:
My new adult responsibilities
began that night.
131
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,776
Luckily, a cookbook
is nothing more
132
00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:43,299
than a set of instructions.
133
00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,388
And if there'’s one thing
I shine at,
134
00:05:45,432 --> 00:05:47,085
it'’s following instructions.
135
00:05:49,479 --> 00:05:51,742
Aw.
136
00:05:53,396 --> 00:05:56,399
What'’s Sheldon doing
137
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,793
Cooking his own dinner.Why?
138
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,925
He wants to take care
of himself like an adult.
139
00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:03,667
I plan on putting that off
for as long as possible.
140
00:06:03,711 --> 00:06:06,148
Really
141
00:06:07,279 --> 00:06:09,194
Maybe I should go
keep an eye on him.
142
00:06:09,238 --> 00:06:11,458
No. Let him handle this
on his own.
143
00:06:11,501 --> 00:06:12,807
I wouldn'’t mind watching.
144
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,548
Let'’s just say grace.
145
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:17,159
I can'’t. I got to go in there.
146
00:06:17,202 --> 00:06:18,421
If she'’s going, I'm going.
147
00:06:18,465 --> 00:06:19,509
No one'’s going anywhere.
148
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:21,381
If he needs help,
he can ask.
149
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:22,686
SHELDON:
I don'’t need help!
150
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:25,080
Everything'’s under control!
151
00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:29,214
You'’re really holding
the line on this one.
152
00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,695
I'’m sorry,
but he just pushed my buttons.
153
00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:34,437
Don'’t be sorry.
I'’m diggin' it.
154
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:35,960
Ew.
Gross.
155
00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:36,831
I agree.
156
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:39,616
Pretty gross.
157
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:44,882
Y'’all are mean.
158
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:48,190
How was your chicken?
159
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:52,150
Not bad. The dish soap
gave it a nice lemony flavor.
160
00:06:53,543 --> 00:06:54,979
All right, bedtime.
161
00:06:55,023 --> 00:06:57,199
Night, Mama.Night, baby.
162
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,592
Have sweet dreams.
163
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,202
Love you.
Love you, too.
164
00:07:01,725 --> 00:07:04,511
Sheldon, I assume you don'’t
need to be tucked in?
165
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:07,035
I can handle it,
thank you.
166
00:07:14,521 --> 00:07:16,348
Okay.
167
00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:19,482
Wow. No good night kiss?
168
00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:21,484
That'’s up to your brother.
169
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:24,182
That won'’t be necessary.
170
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:27,055
Fine.
171
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:35,150
Had enough?
You gonna back down?
172
00:07:35,193 --> 00:07:36,368
No.
173
00:07:36,412 --> 00:07:38,109
He'’s real smart,
but he needs to learn
174
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,546
he doesn'’t know everything.
175
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:43,941
Woman, you are getting sexier
by the second. Whew.
176
00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:46,553
Hey, now that you'’re
treating him like an adult,
177
00:07:46,596 --> 00:07:48,119
can I have
his allowance?
178
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:51,949
That allowance is for chores,
which you already don'’t do.
179
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,821
Come on. We all know
I'’m your favorite.
180
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:57,389
You'’re not even
his third favorite.
181
00:08:00,175 --> 00:08:02,394
ADULT SHELDON:
Making my school lunch
the next morning
182
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:05,876
proved no easier than dinner.
183
00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,226
Maybe you'’re turning it
the wrong way.
184
00:08:08,270 --> 00:08:10,098
: Don'’t you have
anything better to do?
185
00:08:10,141 --> 00:08:12,013
Not better than this.
186
00:08:12,056 --> 00:08:15,233
This is nothing
a little science can'’t fix.
187
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:17,409
All I need to do
is break the pressure seal.
188
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,852
I don'’t think
that was enough science.
189
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,244
MARY:
Morning, Missy.
190
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:28,638
Morning, Sheldon.Morning.
191
00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:30,335
Morning, Mary.
192
00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,904
Mom, you need to sign
this consent form.
193
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,340
What'’s it for?
194
00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:36,603
Field trip.
195
00:08:36,646 --> 00:08:38,169
Where?Museum.
196
00:08:38,213 --> 00:08:40,128
Which one
197
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:43,479
It'’s not like I'm gonna
learn anything, anyway.
198
00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,090
It'’s the planetarium
at the science museum.
199
00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:48,049
And I need you
to sign mine, too.
200
00:08:48,092 --> 00:08:50,268
Oh. It'’s interesting
that an adult
201
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,793
would need his mother
to sign a consent form.
202
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:54,490
And here we go.
203
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,492
I don'’t need you to sign it,
the school does.
204
00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:58,363
So you'’re saying
even the school doesn'’t think
205
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:01,410
that you'’re mature enough
to make all your own decisions.
206
00:09:02,846 --> 00:09:04,587
ADULT SHELDON:
In that moment,
207
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:08,548
I was so angry with her,
I almost opened the jar.
208
00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:16,077
I'’m ready to go to college.
209
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:20,255
Okay. Where you thinking?
210
00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:21,822
Somewhere with
a good science program,
211
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,563
but far enough away
212
00:09:23,606 --> 00:09:26,522
to make my mom cry herself to
sleep every night that I'’m gone.
213
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,829
You'’re applying to
college out of spite?
214
00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:32,136
I see why you'’re
the guidance counselor.
215
00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:34,008
Okay, let'’s see.
216
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,314
What about Caltech in Pasadena?
217
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:38,490
I can'’t see myself
living in California.
218
00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:40,667
I don'’t trust
their carefree lifestyle.
219
00:09:40,710 --> 00:09:42,756
Okay. Um...
220
00:09:42,799 --> 00:09:45,106
How about MIT in Boston?
221
00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:47,108
Do they have
a strong physics program?
222
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:48,805
They'’re more of
an engineering school.
223
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,633
Next.
224
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:55,420
There'’s always Harvard.
225
00:09:57,684 --> 00:10:01,601
Hmm. I don'’t like cold weather,
but I do look good in maroon.
226
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:05,561
All right, Harvard it is.
Thank you for your help.
227
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,085
Are you interested in
applying to a safety school
228
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:09,434
in case you don'’t get in?
229
00:10:09,478 --> 00:10:12,481
Safety school. You'’re funny.
230
00:10:14,483 --> 00:10:15,963
So, how was everyone'’s day?
231
00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:17,704
I cut open a
frog at school.
232
00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:19,619
For science class?
233
00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:21,098
Sure.
234
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:23,448
We should put a lock
on the knife drawer.
235
00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:28,497
What are you eating?
236
00:10:28,540 --> 00:10:30,760
An English muffin with
ketchup and spray cheese.
237
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:31,848
No fair.
238
00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:32,980
Lucky.
239
00:10:33,023 --> 00:10:35,156
Sorry I spent an hour
making meatloaf.
240
00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:36,766
MEEMAW:
So, Moonpie,
241
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,681
how'’s adult life treating you?
242
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:39,987
Very well, actually.
243
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,728
I'’m working on my application
to Harvard.
244
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,555
Is that so?
245
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:45,819
Yes. And I'’m planning
on transferring there
246
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,255
as soon as possible.
247
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:49,257
You'’re not going away
to Harvard.
248
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:51,172
I don'’t believe
you have a say in this.
249
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,436
Okay, well,
250
00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:55,524
Harvard'’s real expensive.
251
00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:57,657
How do you plan
on paying for it?
252
00:10:57,700 --> 00:10:59,441
Oh, I'’m sure
I'’ll get a scholarship.
253
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:01,922
Oh, are you?Yes, I am.
254
00:11:01,965 --> 00:11:03,837
:
Okay. Okay.
255
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:06,709
Let'’s just take a deep breath
and talk about something else.
256
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,189
Fine.
257
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,975
I want to hear about that frog.
258
00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:13,324
A different something else.
259
00:11:13,368 --> 00:11:14,804
MARY: I just
realized something.
260
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:17,851
College applications cost money
just to send in.
261
00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:20,462
They do?
$50, $60 a pop.
262
00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:23,334
I don'’t believe you have
that kind of money, do you?
263
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:27,164
Will you excuse me?
264
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:30,254
I have to go take
a cold shower.
265
00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,483
Hello, Randall.
I would like to apply for a job.
266
00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:43,398
You would?
Yes.
267
00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:45,879
I need to earn money
so I can apply to Harvard.
268
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,837
I thought about
going to Harvard,
269
00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:50,666
but then I realized
The Shack is my passion.
270
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,234
So can I work here?
271
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:55,279
Excuse me. How much RAM
does this computer have?
272
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:57,499
Um, I can check
on that for you.
273
00:11:57,542 --> 00:12:01,938
It comes with 640 kilobytes,
but it'’s expandable up to 768.
274
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,898
Well?
275
00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:07,204
Do you even
have a résumé?
276
00:12:07,248 --> 00:12:11,078
No, but I have a report card
that'’ll knock your socks off.
277
00:12:11,121 --> 00:12:12,514
And what'’s the processor speed?
278
00:12:12,557 --> 00:12:15,386
It has the Intel 8286,
so ten megahertz.
279
00:12:17,824 --> 00:12:20,348
Sorry, Sheldon.
280
00:12:20,391 --> 00:12:23,133
I think it'’s against company
policy to hire little kids.
281
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:25,788
But people say I'’m like
an old man all the time.
282
00:12:25,832 --> 00:12:29,661
Hey, I'’m one of 'em,
but the answer'’s still no.
283
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:31,315
ADULT SHELDON:
When people wonder
284
00:12:31,359 --> 00:12:33,927
why Radio Shack eventually
went out of business,
285
00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,972
you can point to this moment.
286
00:12:37,365 --> 00:12:39,323
Meemaw?
287
00:12:40,368 --> 00:12:41,935
Meemaw?
288
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:46,374
Hey! Looking sharp.
289
00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:49,638
You'’re not gonna try to sell
me a set of knives, are you?
290
00:12:49,681 --> 00:12:52,380
No.
It'’s a joke.
291
00:12:53,555 --> 00:12:55,209
'’Cause of the suit.
292
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,993
Okay.
293
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,821
I need money
for my Harvard application,
294
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:02,825
and was wondering if there are
any jobs I could do.
295
00:13:02,869 --> 00:13:05,175
Hmm. My yard could
use a little weeding.
296
00:13:05,219 --> 00:13:07,743
I'’m not terribly fond
of outdoor work.
297
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,007
Plus, that garden gnome
terrifies me.
298
00:13:11,051 --> 00:13:13,662
Ernesto has that
effect on people.
299
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,185
How much does the job pay?
300
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,839
Well, let me think.
How about a dollar an hour?
301
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,886
How about five dollars an hour
302
00:13:19,929 --> 00:13:21,539
Wait a minute.
What just happened?
303
00:13:21,583 --> 00:13:24,847
I'’ll tell you what.
I'’ll give you a dollar.Thank you.
304
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:31,288
Hey.
Hey.
305
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:34,030
You know how you think I
can'’t do anything for myself?
306
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:36,685
I do think that, yes.
307
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:38,905
Well, I have something
I'’d like to show you.
308
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:41,037
You did some chores?
309
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:42,604
Come see for yourself.
310
00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:45,868
I don'’t know if I'm ready
for another heart attack,
311
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,914
but here we go.
312
00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:52,309
Feast your eyes.
313
00:13:58,141 --> 00:13:59,839
You did all this?
314
00:13:59,882 --> 00:14:01,188
I did.
315
00:14:01,231 --> 00:14:04,626
You shoved everything in
the closet, didn'’t you?
316
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,628
Take a look.
317
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:18,945
I am impressed.
318
00:14:18,988 --> 00:14:20,163
You should be.
319
00:14:20,207 --> 00:14:22,252
There may be hope for you yet.
320
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,394
I thought that showed ingenuity.
321
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,093
Okay, here you go.
322
00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:41,489
I got you a shovel
and a bucket and some gloves.
323
00:14:41,532 --> 00:14:44,796
Did you check the gloves
for spiders?
324
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:48,626
Is this my first
day as Meemaw?
325
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,498
ELMER FUDD :
It'’s not?
326
00:14:50,541 --> 00:14:53,153
No. It'’s duck-hunting season.
327
00:14:53,196 --> 00:14:56,983
That, sir,
is an in-mitigated fabrication!
328
00:14:57,026 --> 00:14:59,202
It'’s wabbit season!Duck season.
329
00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:01,988
Not again.
330
00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:03,511
What'’s wrong, baby?
331
00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,861
I'’m trying to hear about
duck season and wabbit season,
332
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,342
but they keep talking about
this stupid tornado.
333
00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:13,086
MAN :
The National Weather Service
has issued a tornado watch
334
00:15:13,129 --> 00:15:16,089
for the following counties:
Angelina...
335
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:22,225
Hey, Shelly, how'’s
it going over there?
336
00:15:22,269 --> 00:15:24,575
I hate everything about this.
337
00:15:25,794 --> 00:15:27,230
You need to come home
with me.
338
00:15:27,274 --> 00:15:28,623
No. I'’m working.
339
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:31,408
There is a tornado watch.
Let'’s go!
340
00:15:31,452 --> 00:15:33,454
Oh, come on, Mary.
We'’ve had a watch
341
00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:35,586
every day for two months;
nothing ever happens.
342
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:37,110
SHELDON: I think
you'’re just worried
343
00:15:37,153 --> 00:15:40,374
I'’m earning the money to send in
my college application.
344
00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:43,420
I am worried it is not safe
out here. Let'’s go!
345
00:15:43,464 --> 00:15:45,422
I can worry about my own safety,
thank you.
346
00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:47,294
I don'’t care
if you think you'’re an adult.
347
00:15:47,337 --> 00:15:50,427
I'’m your mother,
and you will do as I say.
348
00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:52,255
Well, that ain'’t good.
349
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:54,692
You believe me now?
350
00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:56,085
Mom?
351
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:14,016
I'’m scared!It'’s gonna be okay.
352
00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:15,365
GEORGE SR.:
Georgie!
353
00:16:15,409 --> 00:16:17,672
Help me get this
in front of the window.On it.
354
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:22,198
Is this my bed?
Yeah.
355
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:24,548
Aw, it took me an
hour to make it.
356
00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:28,596
You okay, Moonpie?
357
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:30,424
I'’m all right.
358
00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:32,600
I'’m not. This is scary.We'’re gonna be fine.
359
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:34,732
This'’ll blow through
in a few minutes.
360
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:37,474
[wind howling,
debris clattering outside]
361
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:41,174
I need to pee.
362
00:16:41,217 --> 00:16:42,697
Can you hold it, baby?
363
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:45,700
We'’ll find out.
364
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,921
I'’m not all right anymore!
365
00:16:51,097 --> 00:16:52,750
Flashlights, guys!
366
00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,926
What if it hits us
and we all die?
367
00:16:54,970 --> 00:16:58,234
It'’s not gonna hit us!
Imight hit you.
368
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:01,890
But first,
I'’m gonna hold you.
369
00:17:04,588 --> 00:17:07,287
In the name of Jesus,
I place a hedge of protection
370
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,332
around this house and my family.
371
00:17:09,376 --> 00:17:12,944
I command this storm
to skip over our home
372
00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:14,163
in Jesus'’ name.
373
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:15,295
I wish peace
374
00:17:15,338 --> 00:17:17,297
to every single person
in this room
375
00:17:17,340 --> 00:17:20,082
and declare that not one of us
will get hurt
376
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,954
in this storm, in Jesus'’ name!
377
00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:26,175
Pray harder!
378
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:27,263
Okay.
379
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:42,278
ADULT SHELDON:
The good news was most of our neighborhood was spared.
380
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:43,540
MARY:
Oh.
381
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:45,238
The bad news: my mother thought
382
00:17:45,281 --> 00:17:47,240
she had something
to do with it.
383
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:48,850
Looks like your house is okay.
384
00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:51,766
You were just worried I might
have to come live with you.
385
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:54,421
Oh, I think the word you'’re
looking for is "terrified."
386
00:17:54,464 --> 00:17:57,119
Hmm. Better go check on it.
387
00:17:57,163 --> 00:17:58,642
I'’ll come with you.
388
00:17:58,686 --> 00:18:00,644
Be careful.
389
00:18:02,168 --> 00:18:04,300
Mom?
390
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:05,867
Yeah, baby?
391
00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:20,795
You would not believe
the pee I just took.
392
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:26,105
♪ I see skies of blue
393
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:28,194
♪ For me and you
394
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:32,502
♪ And I say to myself
395
00:18:32,546 --> 00:18:36,941
♪ What a wonderful world.
28429
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