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1
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Triz.
2
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,800
I always liked
this short and delicate name
3
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,840
by which you liked to be called.
4
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:49,280
I'm in an old people's home.
I'm fine, you don't need to worry.
5
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,440
It was my decision.
6
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,520
Yesterday our house was sold.
7
00:00:55,360 --> 00:01:01,120
I need to set myself free,
so I can rise there, where you are.
8
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:04,080
My body doesn't do what I want anymore.
9
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,320
When I was young,
10
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,640
my body was quiet
and I wouldn't even notice it.
11
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:13,280
Now it exists more than I do.
12
00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:18,800
Today our children began
taking our house apart.
13
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:22,800
They will find you there, I know.
14
00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:26,000
These last few years I have tried
to keep the plants alive,
15
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:30,280
but they had more flowers
when you took care of them.
16
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:34,520
I have tried to keep things
where you left them,
17
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:38,360
but objects have
their own secret lives.
18
00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:41,840
Nothing is like it was
when you were here.
19
00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:46,120
I have tried, but could never keep
it the same.
20
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,040
Everything changed in 1984:
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00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:54,400
my body, our house and our family.
22
00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:59,320
Our children had kids,
and their kids had kids themselves.
23
00:02:00,160 --> 00:02:03,880
From home, I've asked them to bring me
Saint Lucy's eyes
24
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:07,120
so that my sight may stay healthy,
25
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,800
if only to see you in my memories.
26
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,760
I've also asked
for the Sorolla reproduction,
27
00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:16,240
which was in the living room.
28
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:24,520
I've always thought it was you
lying there with one of our children.
29
00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:33,240
I feel closer
and closer to you, Beatriz,
30
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,880
but I will miss seeing the sea.
31
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:07,520
A man and a woman meet.
32
00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:13,040
A man,
a woman and the possibility of love.
33
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:18,080
He said:
"I would like to see you again."
34
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:24,400
She said, "If that is God's will,
it will happen."
35
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:30,880
The man, full of insecurities,
wrote to her:
36
00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,000
"Maria Beatriz,
37
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:39,720
I believe that God's will
will have to come true through us.
38
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:43,800
I suggest we meet
so we can get to know each other,
39
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:51,160
in case He has destined us
to be together. Yours truly, Henrique."
40
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:55,720
The man and the woman met.
41
00:03:55,840 --> 00:04:02,600
As predicted, God had decided
42
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:07,080
that these two souls
should never separate.
43
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:11,040
Henrique looked inside Beatriz
44
00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:16,800
and saw in her the possibility of a house
that could keep six children,
45
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,440
and of becoming a sailor.
46
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,040
When she fell in love with Henrique,
47
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:27,200
Beatriz had to let go
of her fear of the sea
48
00:04:27,280 --> 00:04:31,000
and become blindly devoted to Our Lady.
49
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:35,280
The sea made her genuinely anxious.
50
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,080
That might be why they had six children,
51
00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:46,400
so that by looking at them
her longing and fear could subside.
52
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,240
73,
53
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,200
74…
54
00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,520
75,
55
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,480
76…
56
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:30,920
77,
57
00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,520
78…
58
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,600
When the first child was born
59
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:42,800
the hyacinths were already starting
to cover the back of the garden.
60
00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:48,760
So it made sense that Beatriz
would bring nature into her first seed.
61
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:52,120
I'd like him to be called "Jacinto"
(hyacinth).
62
00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,360
Henrique accepted his wife's wish.
63
00:05:56,200 --> 00:06:02,040
To have a child rooted on land
would keep him close to Beatriz too.
64
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:14,400
Jacinto grew up believing that one day
he could live a little above the ground,
65
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:17,480
in that place inhabited by birds,
66
00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:21,600
free from the gravity
of earthly things.
67
00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:30,760
Oh St Lucy, who keeps our sight
in your heart,
68
00:06:30,840 --> 00:06:32,400
preserve the light of my eyes
69
00:06:32,480 --> 00:06:36,000
so that I may see
the beauties of creation,
70
00:06:36,080 --> 00:06:40,800
the glow of the sun, the colour
of the forests and the smile of children.
71
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:46,200
Give me kind eyes, capable of seeing
the traces left by the flight of birds.
72
00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:55,600
THE METAMORPHOSIS OF BIRDS
73
00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:24,160
The lunarias that grew
in the house's garden
74
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:29,400
made Beatriz certain that mysteries
lay in the details.
75
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:36,120
A practical woman with deep roots,
76
00:07:36,200 --> 00:07:40,800
Beatriz saw in the verticality of plants
an inspiration for the education
77
00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:49,080
of Jacinto, Pedro, João, Nuno, Teresa,
and the newborn José.
78
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,280
When she dared to have time for herself
79
00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:58,000
Beatriz's thoughts searched
for the beginning of time.
80
00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:02,360
Here, she believed in God
as much as in the alphabet.
81
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:08,560
First came water, then the trees
and after that the birds.
82
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:13,880
But soon she remembered Zulmira
83
00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:18,720
and realized that these theories
were a waste of time,
84
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:23,960
since it was Zulmira who, alongside her,
sustained the house's walls
85
00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:30,000
and the children's roots, who prepared
breakfast and changed the sheets.
86
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:35,000
In the beginning of time
there was certainly Zulmira.
87
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:42,000
Beatriz couldn't remember
when Zulmira had started working there,
88
00:08:42,080 --> 00:08:46,880
but the peacocks were already part
of the neighbourhood when she moved in.
89
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:51,880
Every new morning began
with Zulmira's cigarette.
90
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:58,560
Afterwards she opened the door
and let the seasons invade the house.
91
00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:33,720
Triz, I have left a month ago,
92
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:37,680
but I could swear I have been
at sea for half a year at least.
93
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,480
I miss you and the kids.
94
00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,960
I look at the sailors around me,
95
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:48,360
and I see in them the sadness
of those who long for land.
96
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:53,680
Often I notice that the sea
doesn't care about my problems.
97
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:58,240
It has so much to worry about, Beatriz!
98
00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:04,400
Every day it has to create so many waves,
so many fish use it as their home,
99
00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:08,320
so many souls have stayed here forever.
100
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:15,680
The sea doesn't have an easy task
and I feel compassion for it.
101
00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:19,640
But I can't look at it for a long time,
because my body shrinks
102
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:23,520
and becomes so small
that I get dizzy.
103
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:30,240
I know that it was already
here before us
104
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:34,400
and when there is nothing
left for us to do but die,
105
00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,920
it will still be here.
106
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:45,200
I'm always surprised to see something
so infinite get inside us.
107
00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:54,200
Tonight, before going down to my cabin,
I passed by the barque's cook.
108
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:56,920
I asked him:
"What's for dinner, Tavares?"
109
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,680
"Heart rice, Lieutenant."
110
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:06,040
I instinctively put my hand over
my heart, just in case.
111
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:11,320
I then remembered that even if Tavares
had shamefully decided
112
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:15,760
to pull my heart out,
he wouldn't find anything,
113
00:11:15,840 --> 00:11:20,080
because my heart stayed on land,
with you.
114
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,880
It hit an aircraft carrier.
115
00:11:35,680 --> 00:11:37,000
G9.
116
00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:41,080
G9… It hit water.
117
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,360
F7.
118
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:50,480
F7…
119
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,920
It hit water.
120
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,640
J1.
121
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,840
Water.
122
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:42,840
I caught you!
123
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,680
Call me Ishmael.
124
00:12:47,760 --> 00:12:50,240
Some years ago, never mind how long,
125
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:56,520
having little money in my purse,
and nothing to interest me on shore
126
00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:01,160
I thought I would sail again
and see the watery world.
127
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:05,880
This is how I fight boredom
and regulate the circulation.
128
00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:08,160
When I start grimacing,
129
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:11,880
when it is a damp, drizzly November
in my soul,
130
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:15,040
when I start pausing
before coffin warehouses,
131
00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:18,440
and following every funeral I meet
132
00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,920
and especially when my hypos
takes over me
133
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:27,840
and only my good sense prevents me from
knocking people's hats off,
134
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:32,560
I realize it is time
to get to sea as soon as I can.
135
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:48,480
Like the children, Zulmira also listened
to the stories told by Beatriz.
136
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,840
And just like birds defy the laws
of gravity,
137
00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,000
Zulmira defied
the rules of storytelling.
138
00:13:55,880 --> 00:13:58,800
Among the horror stories
invented by Zulmira,
139
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:02,280
the one that fascinated and scared
the children the most
140
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:07,800
was about a ship that landed
on a faraway island.
141
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:14,680
At night, when the crew lighted a fire,
the island started moving
142
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:19,680
and scared the sailors,
who then realized that the land
143
00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,200
was in fact a whale.
144
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:28,440
Due to its size, the whale easily
took the sailors and the ship
145
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,720
into the depths of the sea.
146
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:36,000
Maybe that's why during bathtime
everyone was afraid
147
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,320
of the bottom of the bathtub.
148
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:54,960
When night fell the peacocks
also took shelter
149
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:59,320
after spending the day wandering around.
150
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:05,280
Zulmira thought about that
as she smoked her last cigarette.
151
00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:09,960
But before going to bed she listened
to Beatriz's prayers.
152
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:15,960
Even though she wasn't a believer,
she liked to hear these prayers.
153
00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:29,840
When I see them running
through the streets
154
00:15:29,920 --> 00:15:32,320
I have to close the windows and doors
155
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:36,800
to keep my scared heart
from rushing off in their direction.
156
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:43,320
When they climb up trees I know
that I can only see a possible fall,
157
00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:47,600
but in their eyes there is only
the promise of flying.
158
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,840
Mother, who have seen
so many mothers before me,
159
00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:57,480
give me a heart as big as a whale,
which calmly dives during storms.
160
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,800
Or a heart as tall as treetops,
161
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:06,760
so that, from afar, I can always follow
the flight of my children,
162
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,760
who are not afraid of the wind.
163
00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:33,640
- Do plants think too?
- What?
164
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:37,040
Plants. Do they think too?
165
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,160
I think so.
166
00:16:43,200 --> 00:16:47,960
What about trees?
Did they already exist before us?
167
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:52,880
There are trees that saw mom
and dad being born
168
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:57,320
and there are trees that saw our parents'
parents being born,
169
00:16:57,400 --> 00:17:02,040
and there are trees that saw our parents'
parents' parents being born.
170
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:07,680
- And do we live as long as the trees?
- I don't think so.
171
00:17:21,600 --> 00:17:24,640
Many of the sequoias
that exist in California
172
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:28,480
were already old when Columbus
arrived in the Americas.
173
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:30,560
These sequoias are mere sprouts
174
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:33,160
if you compare them
with some of the pines
175
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,280
that germinated when humans
invented writing.
176
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,960
There are trees that were
already ancient when Abraham was born
177
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:47,440
and others that saw entire civilizations
be born and disappear.
178
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:51,560
Beatriz knew all of this.
179
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:55,720
And she knew how to have the patience
and wisdom of trees.
180
00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:01,520
Her relationship with Henrique
was similar to the one she had with God.
181
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:08,800
Even though they didn't see each other,
she felt him around the house.
182
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:25,400
Darling, thank you for the photos
you sent me.
183
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:33,800
I have been dreaming of Jacinto, Pedro,
Nuno, Teresa, João and Zé,
184
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:38,000
who are growing up without me
being able to see or hear them.
185
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,920
I have asked God to let me keep
the memory of your body
186
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,920
and I have read your letters so many times
that some words can't be read anymore.
187
00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,680
I miss putting my nose
in between the waves of your hair.
188
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,160
Henrique saw the family grow from afar.
189
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:57,320
He was only present
for Jacinto's birth
190
00:18:57,400 --> 00:19:00,680
and only met Teresa
when she was already four.
191
00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:04,960
His children were growing up
192
00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:12,680
and Henrique held on to the details
and stories told by Beatriz.
193
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,520
He looked inside the photos,
194
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:21,160
convinced that in them
his children were little forever.
195
00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:31,080
But this is a parent's selfish wish:
196
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,440
that children won't grow up too much.
197
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:40,120
He knew that children only belong
to their parents when they are small.
198
00:19:40,200 --> 00:19:45,080
When they grow up the parents must share
them with the entire world.
199
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:49,600
Since he chose the sea,
Henrique missed the moments
200
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:53,680
when everything happened
for the first time. Forever.
201
00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:02,240
Tortured by the way nature worked,
he knew that his children's bodies
202
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,920
could no longer be trapped
inside narrow picture frames.
203
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:12,680
Their arms now had a new strength
204
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:17,040
and their eyes could see
beyond the house's walls.
205
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:24,000
No picture frame could hold them now.
206
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:49,520
I want some too, please.
207
00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:53,240
- Who wants a piece of cake?
- Me!
208
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,600
I just want some candy.
209
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:00,520
The cake is coming!
210
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:09,480
Happy birthday to you
211
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:17,480
Happy birthday to you
212
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:23,200
Happy birthday dear Jacinto
213
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:28,920
Happy birthday to you
214
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:40,760
I turned 12 and I learned in school
that humans can live to 100,
215
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:46,360
but mayflies only live 24 hours,
flies live 4 weeks,
216
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:50,760
dragonflies 4 months,
mice a year at the most,
217
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:57,520
moles 3 years, rabbits 10, bats 15,
dogs 20 at the most, and cats 25,
218
00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:02,680
ostriches can reach 50
and they have found a 210-year-old whale
219
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:05,520
and a 250-year-old turtle.
220
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:11,360
From his ship, does dad see
the same moon that I can see?
221
00:22:38,720 --> 00:22:43,160
Holy bird, which are in heaven,
Hallowed be your wings
222
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:48,720
May your flight come to us
Watch over our houses' roofs
223
00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,000
Before they realized that it was dead,
224
00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:08,000
they couldn't believe
that the bird wouldn't fly anymore.
225
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:13,280
Jacinto asked
if they could have a funeral
226
00:23:13,360 --> 00:23:16,080
and João even invented a prayer.
227
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:19,840
We all went to the garden and it was
moving to see them so worried
228
00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:23,480
about the bird's well-being in eternity.
229
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,760
Then something strange happened,
Henrique.
230
00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:30,760
Serious, Nuno looked at me and asked:
231
00:23:30,840 --> 00:23:34,520
"Mom, dad died, didn't he?"
232
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:38,520
I was so shocked that I have must
have made a dramatic pause
233
00:23:38,600 --> 00:23:43,160
and then Teresa started crying
and said: "Dad died!"
234
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,000
Jacinto hugged Pedro,
235
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:49,880
and poor João, who grew up too fast,
fell over.
236
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:54,600
I finally managed to say:
"Don't be silly! Isn't dad at sea?"
237
00:23:54,680 --> 00:23:59,640
Jacinto said: "But maybe he died there
and that's why he hasn't returned yet."
238
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:06,040
And Teresa continued: "Poor dad!"
And Pedro: "He didn't even say goodbye."
239
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,000
With all of this going on,
Zé ran away
240
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:13,880
and when I found him
he was happily eating ants.
241
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,880
At least when they are this young
they forget things fast
242
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,560
and after the crying
and the shock passed
243
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,160
I watched them be the children
that they are.
244
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:38,480
At home Zulmira and our children
have been playing these weird games.
245
00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:45,160
Teresa said that Zulmira
is teaching them the language of birds.
246
00:24:47,120 --> 00:24:52,760
Sometimes it seems that the garden birds
live in our bedrooms.
247
00:24:55,160 --> 00:25:00,600
The seasons pass and we, as always,
remember you with a longing
248
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:03,000
that cannot be contained
within our house's walls.
249
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,480
Today we left the island of Fogo
towards Angola.
250
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:32,960
Minutes before setting sail we received
the letters we craved.
251
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,440
We had been without mail for two weeks
and you cannot imagine
252
00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:40,800
how that can drive a man
to unspeakable madness.
253
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,840
Alves, a leading seaman,
was so disturbed
254
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,240
that he wanted to jump ship at high sea,
255
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:53,600
saying that
he couldn't take it any longer.
256
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:59,480
Without noticing it, Sargent Silva Ramos
spent the last few days looking at his legs
257
00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:03,000
so he wouldn't forget
his parents' faces.
258
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:09,320
Since I haven't been sleeping,
I have started seeing things.
259
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:13,200
M
260
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,520
MY
261
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,280
MY L
262
00:26:17,360 --> 00:26:18,920
MY LO
263
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,520
MY LOV
264
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:25,760
MY LOVE,
265
00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:26,960
MY LOVE, M
266
00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:31,160
MY LOVE, MY
267
00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:36,160
MY LOVE, MY H
268
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:40,080
MY LOVE, MY HO
269
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,600
MY LOVE, MY HOM
270
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,640
MY LOVE, MY HOME
271
00:26:43,720 --> 00:26:45,960
MY LOVE, MY HOME A
272
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,200
MY LOVE, MY HOME AT
273
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:49,720
MY LOVE, MY HOME AT S
274
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,960
MY LOVE, MY HOME AT SE
275
00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:56,160
MY LOVE, MY HOME AT SEA.
276
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:07,200
On the days when we get letters
a deadly silence falls on the ship.
277
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:11,120
But when the wind changes direction
I can sense
278
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:15,200
the moving words written by families
that, like ours,
279
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:18,560
have learned to deal with longing.
280
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:25,040
"My dear, your words have filled mewith joy
281
00:27:25,120 --> 00:27:29,160
and I keep your letter close to my heart,where I keep you too.
282
00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:32,400
Our children are doing well, thank God.
283
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,520
Armando, here everything is fine.
284
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:39,800
Our José Carlos is doing well, thank God,and he sends you many kisses.
285
00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:43,840
Poor Carminda had to haveanother surgery because of her leg,
286
00:27:43,920 --> 00:27:47,040
but we had already warned herthat she was getting old.
287
00:27:47,120 --> 00:27:50,960
Now she has put it into her headto help the poor!
288
00:27:51,040 --> 00:27:54,040
My dear son, I prayed to St Barbarathat I may receive your letter
289
00:27:54,120 --> 00:27:56,960
and to Our Lady of Seafarersto keep you safe.
290
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:07,120
Daniel, you know I can't swim.
291
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:10,960
Thinking of you in the middle of the oceanfrightens me tremendously.
292
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:16,920
Waves give me tremors and for me the seais beautiful if seen from a distance.
293
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:20,160
It makes me anxious to think of youin those faraway seas,
294
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:21,800
but I'm very proud of you.
295
00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:25,240
I just wish Cape Verde was closer.
296
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,800
I don't even understand where you are.
297
00:28:28,760 --> 00:28:32,920
She says that she can't send lettersbecause she starts crying immediately.
298
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,280
She apologizes and asks youto be patient with her.
299
00:28:36,360 --> 00:28:40,600
Kisses from your mother and Mimi,who sends her love.
300
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:47,120
Give me the ability to have things
that are just mine,
301
00:28:47,200 --> 00:28:50,440
no matter how lonely that might be
sometimes.
302
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:54,520
Give me the time and courage to wait
even if I don't know what for.
303
00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:59,040
Give me the courage to know that
sometimes everything won't be all right,
304
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,680
because sometimes
things aren't all right.
305
00:29:02,200 --> 00:29:05,480
Give me also the ability
to be my opposite.
306
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:09,720
And, in the end, when you have already
closed all the stores,
307
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:13,000
when you have already turned off
the music in all the cafes,
308
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,720
when there is no one left in the offices
309
00:29:16,800 --> 00:29:20,760
and when the streets become full
of their own solitude
310
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:26,280
let me die standing up,
like the trees.
311
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,480
The pain in his knees
didn't appear suddenly,
312
00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:53,280
but it gradually settled in
313
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:57,760
until Jacinto grew three centimetres
overnight.
314
00:29:59,880 --> 00:30:05,800
His body was growing to adapt
to bigger wishes and desires,
315
00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:11,360
which surpassed the borders
defined by his bones.
316
00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:19,320
Nonetheless, while he negotiated
the end of childhood with himself,
317
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:24,000
all the exceptional things
that make up the universe
318
00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:29,080
of those who do not fear gravity
still lived inside him.
319
00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:37,880
Jacinto had always thought
it was bizarre
320
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:41,080
that a seed smaller
than the palm of his hand
321
00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:45,640
could contain a tree that reached
100 meters in height.
322
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:52,680
Jacinto would eventually forget
this disturbing thought.
323
00:30:52,760 --> 00:30:58,160
Likewise, he forgot the pain
in his knees, ankles and shoulders.
324
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:03,880
He also forgot the pain caused
by his ribcage as it expanded,
325
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,000
creating space for a bigger heart,
326
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:07,960
which could now accommodate other things
327
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:12,760
besides his home,
his siblings and himself.
328
00:31:13,480 --> 00:31:18,160
A heart that was beginning
to have its own reasons.
329
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:28,920
I know my hands better
than I know my face.
330
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:35,520
Every day these trusted friends
initiate my mornings:
331
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:42,520
they bathe me, dry me and slowly
apply themselves to my wavy hair.
332
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:45,040
With a skill I didn't know they had,
333
00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,080
they braid Teresa's hair
334
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:51,680
and sneakily pinch the bottoms and legs
of all the children.
335
00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:55,960
They rigorously knit sweaters,
336
00:31:56,080 --> 00:32:00,200
iron, fold the laundry and the days.
337
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:05,200
Those who think that hands belong to us
have it wrong.
338
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:08,960
It is we who belong to them.
339
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:14,040
They are the ones that know
when to prune the trees in our garden,
340
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:17,960
when to pick loquats,
when to pull out weeds.
341
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,960
They are also the ones that,
after a long day,
342
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:25,520
hold my head
as I watch our birds smiling.
343
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,200
When everyone in the house
is already sleeping
344
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,920
and when I'm too tired
to go against them
345
00:32:33,000 --> 00:32:37,800
the hands start gathering
our children's childhoods.
346
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:42,480
They keep them in secrecy
as if they were relics.
347
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:44,480
And they are,
348
00:32:44,560 --> 00:32:47,280
since they prove that they used
to be children.
349
00:32:48,960 --> 00:32:52,200
Sometimes I wonder what might prompt
a mother's hands
350
00:32:52,280 --> 00:32:56,840
to preserve her children's childhoods.
351
00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:01,600
Is it our fear of no longer recognizing
them when they can think for themselves?
352
00:33:04,040 --> 00:33:08,720
When they are big we shall go down
to the basement, Henrique.
353
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,840
And without anyone knowing,
354
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:17,280
we will visit our children,
when they were little.
355
00:34:32,680 --> 00:34:36,480
There was a time when Jacinto
looked at his father's stamp collection
356
00:34:36,560 --> 00:34:38,960
and only noticed the illustrations.
357
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:43,160
At the time his questions could fit
in an atlas
358
00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:47,280
and only concerned the animals
that lived in faraway places,
359
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:50,520
but that were supposedly
also called Portugal.
360
00:34:52,720 --> 00:34:57,720
Later, the questions started growing
and no longer fit in the house's books.
361
00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:03,640
He observed each face
and imagined their terror
362
00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:06,720
when foreign men arrived from the sea
363
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:09,960
and told them that place now
belonged to them.
364
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:13,000
Pulling their whips and quills out,
365
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:16,720
the Portuguese immediately started
writing over them.
366
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:27,280
Jacinto couldn't stop thinking
that you can't discover a continent
367
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:30,480
already inhabited by millions of people.
368
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,800
By then he was already in college
369
00:35:33,880 --> 00:35:37,960
and had started having
breathing problems.
370
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,800
Beatriz was convinced
that her son had asthma.
371
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:49,480
But Jacinto's problem was the lack
of oxygen in that house, country,
372
00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:52,200
and imaginary fatherlands,
373
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:55,440
where everything
had the name of that man
374
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,600
who choked everything that he touched.
375
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,320
They often argued.
376
00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:07,200
Beatriz couldn't understand
her son's anger.
377
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,320
In mass no one had problems.
378
00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,720
Everyone arrived at 11:50 a.m.,
379
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:15,480
in time to kiss
and give money to the poor.
380
00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:18,360
At noon the priest started the mass.
381
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:23,480
But Jacinto was angry at the dust
on the photo frames,
382
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:28,280
which had been there for so long
that everyone said:
383
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:32,040
"But it isn't dust!
That's the frame's colour!"
384
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:37,840
Jacinto knew that aged patina
wasn't the frame's colour.
385
00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:41,320
So whenever he looked in the mirror
386
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:44,440
instead of himself he saw the dust.
387
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:50,480
Beatriz quoted Ecclesiastes:
"There is a time for everything."
388
00:36:50,560 --> 00:36:56,680
Jacinto knew that until then
time had never been on his side.
389
00:36:56,760 --> 00:36:59,840
And maybe because he was almost
becoming resigned
390
00:36:59,920 --> 00:37:04,600
he went back to the stamp collection,
to order the last years of the world.
391
00:37:05,480 --> 00:37:09,880
In the stamps he saw that the dust
might soon be gone.
392
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:25,880
Sometimes Teresa's eyes lingered over
the bedroom's socket.
393
00:37:27,040 --> 00:37:31,640
Sockets, which were female,
were stuck to a house's walls,
394
00:37:31,720 --> 00:37:33,720
unable to move.
395
00:37:34,200 --> 00:37:38,720
But without sockets there would be
no light, heating,
396
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:42,360
driers or shaving machines.
397
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:46,760
As for the plugs, they could freely move
around the house
398
00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:50,680
and enter any socket they wished.
399
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,320
Unlike her brothers,
400
00:37:54,400 --> 00:38:00,000
Teresa knew that some tasks
were for men and others for women.
401
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:06,880
Women knitted, cooked, got pregnant,
cared for the children, aborted
402
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,960
and took care of the houses
that belonged to men.
403
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:15,640
Men made encyclopaedias,
discoveries, wars…
404
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:52,800
You take your passport
405
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:55,600
Inside the prayer book
406
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:00,520
To cheat death
407
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:08,280
You take the lucky sweater
408
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:11,280
That belongs to my brother José
409
00:39:12,080 --> 00:39:17,280
Who doesn't know where Guinea is
410
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:26,680
Joaquim, my love, now I know
411
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:31,280
that when you get out of there
412
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:38,520
I'll already have cellulite over here
413
00:39:39,680 --> 00:39:43,680
You cut through the wilderness
414
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:47,480
I cut through the days
415
00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:51,000
You cut the longing
416
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:58,120
I cut you out… from photos
417
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:12,440
And this song is just to pretend
418
00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:19,040
That when I'm alone
419
00:40:19,120 --> 00:40:27,440
I don't mind having the Africas
420
00:40:28,200 --> 00:40:32,880
Between us
421
00:40:37,200 --> 00:40:39,640
SALAZAR DIED
422
00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:45,720
What we have longed for has finally
happened, Henrique: they grew up.
423
00:40:47,400 --> 00:40:52,000
Zé's heart can be felt around the house.
He's in love.
424
00:40:52,760 --> 00:40:57,320
It started in the winter and now
that it's spring he's never at home.
425
00:41:00,840 --> 00:41:05,320
The other children are like rivers
and I remember this sentence:
426
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:09,200
Everyone speaks
of the violence of rivers,
427
00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:13,760
but no one ever talks of the violence
of the banks that contain them.
428
00:41:16,520 --> 00:41:18,560
One day, Teresa came
into the house furious
429
00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,400
saying that she would
never live like us.
430
00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:25,160
She said it was a fantasy to believe
that everything worked out the first time:
431
00:41:25,240 --> 00:41:28,880
the first job, the first marriage,
the first house.
432
00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:34,440
The following day,
between crying and anger,
433
00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:36,640
Jacinto told me that he'll never accept
434
00:41:36,720 --> 00:41:39,120
that duty comes before pleasure.
435
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:42,520
When I tried to hug him, he said:
436
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:46,320
"Mom, every day
the earth's orbit changes,
437
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:50,760
as if it were telling us
that we must change too."
438
00:41:57,200 --> 00:42:00,320
Pedro was arrested by the PIDE.
439
00:42:00,400 --> 00:42:05,720
I couldn't sleep for 10 days and I spent
every night in his bedroom.
440
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:13,600
I feel that they are all growing up
and want to fly higher.
441
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:18,120
I know that we have raised them
to be better than us
442
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:22,960
but now I don't know how to deal
with what they are and feel.
443
00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:28,880
I suffer because I believe
that the world must change too,
444
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,600
but I don't know how.
445
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:07,200
I had never seen one before,
but they are common here in Lobito.
446
00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:13,400
It's the closest I have ever been
to a prodigious being.
447
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:18,800
A horse with a fish tail, which is not
a sea monster, but a sea miracle.
448
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:23,000
A hippocampus like the one
inside our brains,
449
00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:27,720
which allows me to keep the memories
of you and our children, Triz.
450
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:33,120
When I found it, it was lying dead
on the sand,
451
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,400
but I could see beyond that.
452
00:43:35,480 --> 00:43:39,800
And I saw its eyes and heart beating
through its body.
453
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:44,120
They have told me that it's the males
that have children.
454
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,320
That small being resembles you more:
455
00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,160
it carries the children
and the memories.
456
00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:57,760
Holding it, I thought
457
00:43:57,840 --> 00:44:00,960
that seahorses
must have been here since the beginning.
458
00:44:01,040 --> 00:44:04,320
How else would we remember who we are?
459
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:07,320
This one I'm sending you, so fragile
and yet so beautiful,
460
00:44:07,400 --> 00:44:10,200
will cross the vast sea
that separates us.
461
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:14,920
It is full of the memories
that we will still create together.
462
00:44:57,320 --> 00:44:59,200
Every day the routine is the same,
463
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:02,920
but I can already feel it in my bones
when the weather is changing.
464
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:06,200
I'm still moved by the trumpet
that starts the day,
465
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,200
pulling the sun from under the sea.
466
00:45:09,600 --> 00:45:14,240
After all of these years onboard
it still surprises me
467
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:17,480
that we hold on to the little things
that we do on land,
468
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:20,880
as if by doing them the sea
became more human.
469
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:24,080
The sea dominates the world
so completely
470
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:28,160
that our planet Earth should
have been called "Ocean".
471
00:45:30,920 --> 00:45:32,680
We haven't seen land for two weeks
472
00:45:32,760 --> 00:45:36,200
and I can feel my eyes getting sharper
as they stare at the horizon.
473
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:40,320
And I'm not the only one.
There are 150 men staring at it,
474
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,760
thinking that the line
that separates the sea from the sky
475
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,000
contains all of those we love.
476
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,720
We perform this task so well that
sometimes we see the contours of trees,
477
00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:54,120
cities and houses emerge from that line.
478
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:00,520
And when we finally glimpse land
we rub our eyes hard,
479
00:46:00,600 --> 00:46:05,800
in case it's one of those illusions
fabricated by our desires.
480
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,080
When the six children already
had deep roots
481
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:05,760
and bodies capable of climbing
to the highest dreams
482
00:47:05,840 --> 00:47:10,680
Beatriz's heart started having room
for the horizon.
483
00:47:10,880 --> 00:47:13,600
Beatriz's untiring love for her children
484
00:47:13,680 --> 00:47:18,720
was now reflected on her love
for a land, where she dreamed of a house
485
00:47:18,800 --> 00:47:23,920
with room for her children,
grandchildren and fruit trees.
486
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:31,120
The orange trees were the first
inhabitants of that unruly land,
487
00:47:31,200 --> 00:47:35,720
which Beatriz loved as if it were
an extension of her family.
488
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:43,920
With the verticality
that she had inherited from plants,
489
00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,280
she dreamed up every tree.
490
00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:49,960
She even dreamed that the house
would face the water,
491
00:47:50,040 --> 00:47:55,400
so that Henrique's floating roots
could always find a place to rest.
492
00:47:56,320 --> 00:48:00,520
Beatriz had never been as happy
as she was then.
493
00:48:01,240 --> 00:48:03,560
When I laid eyes on her,
494
00:48:03,640 --> 00:48:10,320
my bird-like body found the happiness
and calm that only mothers can give.
495
00:48:36,920 --> 00:48:41,080
In German "mutter", in Armenian "mai",
496
00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:47,080
in Bulgarian "miada", in Catalan "mare",
497
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:54,320
in Chinese "mutchi", in Danish "mor",
498
00:48:55,040 --> 00:49:01,040
in French "mère", in Greek "mitéra",
499
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:06,720
in Hebrew "ima", in Hindu "mat",
500
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:12,360
in English "mother", in Latin "mater",
501
00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:17,920
in Thai "mai", in Portuguese "mãe".
502
00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:26,760
The day that Triz died I said
for the last time
503
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:29,840
the first word I have ever said.
504
00:49:30,560 --> 00:49:35,480
I took a deep breath
and said quietly to myself:
505
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:39,160
"Mother".
506
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:18,040
Even though it was the middle of spring,
when we lost my mother
507
00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:23,280
an autumn similar to the sadness
we felt descended on us.
508
00:50:24,240 --> 00:50:26,800
Every day the sun rose,
509
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:32,800
every day there was morning, afternoon
and night as usual,
510
00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:38,280
and every day the rivers
threw themselves into the sea,
511
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:41,120
without fearing that it would overflow.
512
00:50:42,720 --> 00:50:48,480
And, for us, it was all too sad.
We were a still life.
513
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:53,200
We observed the world as if we were
inside a painting,
514
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:57,720
while outside life insisted
on carrying on.
515
00:51:01,240 --> 00:51:04,880
Our father's stays in the sea
became longer.
516
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:08,600
I believe that he found it hard
to look at us,
517
00:51:09,000 --> 00:51:14,280
the same way we avoided looking him
in the eye as much as possible.
518
00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:17,800
We cut down our vocabulary
to the essentials
519
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:21,560
and I found refuge
in the house's garden.
520
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:27,160
I would put on rubber boots and gloves
and grab the rake and shovel.
521
00:51:28,440 --> 00:51:30,880
I pruned every shrub,
522
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:37,200
I watered every tree, plant
and being that moved.
523
00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,640
And, like I was five again,
524
00:51:39,720 --> 00:51:43,440
I tried to put some of the dead leaves
back on their branches,
525
00:51:43,520 --> 00:51:49,120
as if their fall had been a mistake
or an error that I could fix.
526
00:54:47,120 --> 00:54:51,200
A few days later my brother Nuno
interrupted the silence
527
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:55,640
that had become common between us
and said: "We are ghosts."
528
00:54:56,320 --> 00:54:58,480
And that's what we were.
529
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:05,160
The dead don't know they are dead.
530
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:09,240
Death is an issue for the living.
531
00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:12,160
I still can't remember
that day very well,
532
00:55:12,240 --> 00:55:17,200
because the days when something
that big happens, like a mother dying,
533
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:19,800
never become memories.
534
00:55:20,400 --> 00:55:26,400
They stay stuck to us forever,
like skin moles that never leave.
535
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:31,560
They are too painful to reach the brain.
536
00:55:32,200 --> 00:55:35,480
That's why we keep them on our skins.
537
00:55:35,560 --> 00:55:39,680
My mother wasn't just a mother:
she was a tree.
538
00:55:39,760 --> 00:55:45,200
Trees love the ground and let us
climb up their branches
539
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:47,120
as if it were easy.
540
00:55:48,560 --> 00:55:53,360
When my mother died we could no longer
swing from her branches
541
00:55:53,440 --> 00:55:56,080
and fell down, all of us.
542
00:55:56,960 --> 00:55:58,960
I never forgot
543
00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:02,200
what it was like to see
the world perched on her arms.
544
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:21,520
In German "tochter",
in Armenian "dustry",
545
00:56:22,520 --> 00:56:27,280
in Bulgarian "dushterya",
in Chinese "niar",
546
00:56:28,000 --> 00:56:33,000
in Danish "datter", in French "fille",
547
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:39,320
in Greek "kóri", in Hindu "bitit",
548
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:46,280
in English "daughter",
in Latin "filiae",
549
00:56:47,240 --> 00:56:52,000
in Romanian "fiica", in Thai "Luksaw",
550
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:56,560
in Portuguese "filha".
551
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:04,320
The day you were born I said
for the first time the word "daughter".
552
00:57:04,400 --> 00:57:07,040
Afterwards, without anyone seeing,
553
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:11,400
I took a deep breath and said quietly:
554
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:13,240
"It's a miracle."
555
00:57:16,280 --> 00:57:19,240
This is my first photo.
556
00:57:19,320 --> 00:57:21,000
My father Jacinto took it and,
557
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:23,880
to this day,
he doesn't know how it is in focus,
558
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:26,440
since his hands were shaking.
559
00:57:26,520 --> 00:57:31,520
About me, my mother only knew
what she had imagined for 9 months.
560
00:57:31,600 --> 00:57:36,840
This is the moment we met and promised
to bake chocolate cake on Sundays,
561
00:57:36,920 --> 00:57:40,400
rent melodramas
that would make us cry a lot
562
00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:43,080
and know the name of many trees.
563
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:49,000
That day my mother said: "Catarina,
it will be beautiful to see you fly."
564
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:54,000
17 years after this photo was taken
we walked into the hospital.
565
00:57:54,680 --> 00:58:00,000
We entered her room and I asked why
my mother didn't have an oxygen mask.
566
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:06,760
You told the nurse that the metastases
had already reached her lungs,
567
00:58:06,840 --> 00:58:10,040
so your mother needed oxygen
in order to breathe.
568
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:12,840
I just stared at you
569
00:58:12,920 --> 00:58:15,640
and said nothing
because I didn't know how to.
570
00:58:16,520 --> 00:58:20,520
And because, in time, your brain
accepted reality.
571
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:26,400
Your eyes opened wide, which is what
you do when you are about to cry,
572
00:58:26,480 --> 00:58:28,800
and you touched Ana's face.
573
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:31,400
You didn't say anything.
574
00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:35,880
You left the room and walked out
of the hospital.
575
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:37,880
I followed you.
576
00:58:37,960 --> 00:58:41,000
You walked a few meters and collapsed
on the ground,
577
00:58:41,080 --> 00:58:42,680
holding on to your belly.
578
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:47,520
It was a rainy night
and you were crying alone.
579
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:50,480
I froze up.
580
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:54,440
My sister Teresa, who was beside me,
moved forward.
581
00:58:55,280 --> 00:59:00,000
She didn't say anything, but she took
off her coat and put it over you.
582
00:59:00,520 --> 00:59:04,280
You didn't move.
I didn't move.
583
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:08,320
I stared at you,
knowing that I couldn't protect you
584
00:59:08,400 --> 00:59:10,680
from that inevitable tragedy.
585
00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:15,520
I felt very guilty, lost for words
that would comfort you.
586
00:59:16,280 --> 00:59:19,760
I couldn't understand the world either.
587
00:59:46,080 --> 00:59:50,920
Grandmother, when I was born
your absence already took up space,
588
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,240
but I couldn't feel it.
589
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:54,960
When my mother died,
590
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:59,160
my father and I came together
in the absence of the word "mother".
591
00:59:59,240 --> 01:00:02,920
At that time my father's eyes
stopped being green
592
01:00:03,000 --> 01:00:07,320
and I know the memories of you
opened the doors he had locked.
593
01:00:08,080 --> 01:00:12,720
I then realized there was a part
of my father that I had never known:
594
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:15,320
the part he was with you,
595
01:00:15,400 --> 01:00:19,000
the part that disappears with the birds
when they migrate.
596
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:23,720
A while ago I found out that
for hundreds of years
597
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:27,800
bird migration was a mystery to man.
598
01:00:27,880 --> 01:00:30,600
Where did the birds go when winter came?
599
01:00:30,680 --> 01:00:33,320
Where did the ones
that arrived come from?
600
01:00:33,400 --> 01:00:36,280
Linnets left at the same time
as thrushes
601
01:00:36,360 --> 01:00:38,840
seemed to arise from winter trees.
602
01:00:38,920 --> 01:00:41,320
Cuckoos appeared in spring
603
01:00:41,400 --> 01:00:45,040
and never crossed paths with hawks.
604
01:00:45,120 --> 01:00:49,320
Therefore, the ancient thought
they were one and the same.
605
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:54,200
With a different appearance
and characteristics,
606
01:00:54,280 --> 01:00:56,680
but the same animal.
607
01:00:56,760 --> 01:00:59,920
They had simply gone through
a metamorphosis.
608
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:05,280
What human beings can't explain,
they invent.
609
01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:20,320
Catarina, don't tell anyone,
610
01:01:20,920 --> 01:01:23,600
bring a flashlight and the house keys,
611
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:28,440
leave a note that doesn't say too much
or too little,
612
01:01:28,520 --> 01:01:32,720
say: "I went with the birds.
Please water the plants."
613
01:01:33,840 --> 01:01:37,000
Leave the house tidy,
the fridge full of food
614
01:01:37,080 --> 01:01:39,320
as if you were coming back tomorrow.
615
01:01:39,400 --> 01:01:42,520
Don't cry and don't say too many words.
616
01:01:43,600 --> 01:01:47,600
Take my memories.
Take me with you.
617
01:01:48,280 --> 01:01:50,160
Take time with you.
618
01:01:51,120 --> 01:01:56,680
Don't disappear all at once.
First blend into the chairs and sofas.
619
01:01:57,280 --> 01:02:01,920
Stop answering the phone
and dissolve into the corridor's carpet.
620
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:05,120
Don't be afraid of ghosts.
621
01:02:05,200 --> 01:02:09,400
Be the size of what you see
and not the size of what you feel.
622
01:02:13,760 --> 01:02:15,640
I opened the front door.
623
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:18,960
I closed it gently so that not even
the silence could hear it.
624
01:02:19,040 --> 01:02:20,640
Everyone was sleeping.
625
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:24,680
I caught the first bus to the place
closest to the sky.
626
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:27,920
There were many things
I couldn't understand,
627
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:30,440
but I knew
that the sky was where humankind
628
01:02:30,520 --> 01:02:33,640
had thrown everything
that it couldn't grasp.
629
01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:40,800
God, the dead, infinity and UFOs:
they all lived in that unknown place,
630
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:44,680
sharing it in a civilized manner
so they could all fit.
631
01:02:45,400 --> 01:02:49,240
If the sky was the place
where the unknown started,
632
01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:53,920
then the landscape was the bridge
between the known and the unknown,
633
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:57,400
between the visible and the invisible.
634
01:02:58,120 --> 01:03:00,560
And I really wanted to be invisible.
635
01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,840
The landscape doesn't belong to anyone,
they say,
636
01:03:04,920 --> 01:03:08,400
but when I saw it, I gave it my eyes.
637
01:03:09,680 --> 01:03:15,200
1, 2, 3, 4, 5…
638
01:03:15,920 --> 01:03:21,200
6, 7, 8, 9, 10…
639
01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:27,680
11, 12, 13, 14, 15…
640
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:34,440
16, 17, 18, 19, 20…
641
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:41,920
21, 22, 23, 24, 25…
642
01:03:42,560 --> 01:03:49,520
26, 27, 28, 29, 30.
643
01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:53,920
Jacinto!
644
01:03:56,600 --> 01:03:58,200
Catarina!
645
01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:32,160
Catarina never imagined
646
01:06:32,240 --> 01:06:36,600
that one day she would feel jealous
of the clouds and mountain peaks,
647
01:06:36,680 --> 01:06:40,720
which rose to great heights
and thus bonded with the sky.
648
01:06:41,480 --> 01:06:47,200
But she was stuck in her body,
now too small for what she felt.
649
01:06:47,640 --> 01:06:52,520
Between her and what she saw
fit all the world's mothers.
650
01:06:52,720 --> 01:06:55,200
When she stared at the crest lines
651
01:06:55,560 --> 01:06:59,720
it upset her to think how easy it was
for the colossal mountains
652
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:05,160
to enter through her narrow eyes,
as if they could see her inside out.
653
01:07:15,720 --> 01:07:19,080
The truth is that Jacinto felt like
he was getting smaller.
654
01:07:19,560 --> 01:07:23,480
His body was too large,
as if he had too much skin.
655
01:07:23,960 --> 01:07:28,680
At first he felt like he couldn't reach
the tips of his fingers, later his hands
656
01:07:28,880 --> 01:07:31,960
and finally he found it hard
to reach his shoulders.
657
01:07:32,480 --> 01:07:35,480
He was shrinking so much
that the cells of his body
658
01:07:35,720 --> 01:07:38,720
were becoming as massive as mountains.
659
01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:43,840
Even though he tried hard
to be the size of what he saw,
660
01:07:43,920 --> 01:07:46,560
Jacinto was the size of what he felt.
661
01:07:46,640 --> 01:07:49,960
Nonetheless, this brought
a certain innocence to his eyes.
662
01:07:50,040 --> 01:07:52,840
He now paid so much attention
to the world
663
01:07:52,920 --> 01:07:56,800
that questions appeared with ease.
664
01:07:56,880 --> 01:08:00,480
He wanted to know in which part
of his body she still lived,
665
01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:03,440
which part of his body
remembered her best
666
01:08:03,520 --> 01:08:06,080
and which part resembled her most.
667
01:08:07,320 --> 01:08:10,080
Sometimes he melancholically counted
the days
668
01:08:10,320 --> 01:08:16,560
since he had last said "mother",
and fell into overwhelming sadness.
669
01:08:17,400 --> 01:08:21,880
He would then think of all the mothers
that had ever existed and died.
670
01:08:21,960 --> 01:08:27,680
And all the mothers' mothers,
and all the mothers' mothers' mothers,
671
01:08:27,760 --> 01:08:31,040
and all the mothers' mothers' mothers'
mothers,
672
01:08:31,680 --> 01:08:35,880
and all the mothers' mothers' mothers'
mothers' mothers,
673
01:08:36,240 --> 01:08:40,760
and all the mothers' mothers' mothers'
mothers' mothers' mothers.
674
01:08:41,800 --> 01:08:45,520
And he realized that what he felt
was nothing new.
675
01:08:46,280 --> 01:08:48,640
It was actually pretty ordinary.
676
01:08:48,720 --> 01:08:53,280
But he believed that only his mother
had been a tree.
677
01:08:53,800 --> 01:08:57,600
It was precisely that
and his floating child's eyes
678
01:08:57,720 --> 01:08:59,960
that allowed him to see
the obvious similarities
679
01:09:00,040 --> 01:09:04,920
between his body and the things
that surrounded him.
680
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:11,320
From inside his small size,
he paid great attention to details.
681
01:10:59,960 --> 01:11:04,360
It is said that, after being away
for two months,
682
01:11:04,440 --> 01:11:09,240
Bach returned home to find out
that his wife Maria Barbara had died.
683
01:11:11,320 --> 01:11:14,560
Alone in the house
and drowning in sadness,
684
01:11:14,640 --> 01:11:16,760
he sat at the kitchen table
685
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:21,560
and stared at the walls
and the empty house around him.
686
01:11:23,080 --> 01:11:27,800
Afterwards he grabbed a piece of paper
and wrote the "Chaconne" for violin.
687
01:11:28,840 --> 01:11:33,160
The "Chaconne" was made not
only to invoke the dead,
688
01:11:33,240 --> 01:11:35,560
but also to awaken them.
689
01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:04,920
For a moment he couldn't feel
his body anymore.
690
01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:09,400
And Jacinto swore that the language
of men no longer made sense.
691
01:14:10,160 --> 01:14:15,120
He felt himself levitate
and, like Zulmira had once said,
692
01:14:15,200 --> 01:14:20,200
the language of birds only reveals itself
to those who no longer have a body.
693
01:14:22,800 --> 01:14:25,560
Jacinto felt that he belonged there,
694
01:14:25,640 --> 01:14:29,200
in that place located in the intervals
of existence,
695
01:14:29,280 --> 01:14:31,960
between the earth and the sky.
696
01:14:32,040 --> 01:14:37,080
Weightless, Jacinto could now clearly
hear the language of birds.
697
01:14:41,440 --> 01:14:44,760
Jacinto, the scars in one's heartcan't be seen,
698
01:14:44,840 --> 01:14:48,640
just like our flight, which leavesno trace in the air.
699
01:14:49,600 --> 01:14:52,640
When they ask you, say:
700
01:14:53,240 --> 01:14:57,960
"I went with the birds. They have wingsand I need a new heart."
701
01:14:59,360 --> 01:15:02,000
We will both start again.We will replace our feathers
702
01:15:02,080 --> 01:15:03,880
and you will find new words.
703
01:15:04,360 --> 01:15:07,640
Words will take you to new meanings.
704
01:15:08,000 --> 01:15:10,800
And when you can't remember…
705
01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:14,320
invent.
706
01:15:25,680 --> 01:15:29,080
One day Jacinto asked Triz
how much she loved him.
707
01:15:29,840 --> 01:15:31,560
Triz answered:
708
01:15:31,640 --> 01:15:35,520
"Try to count
a bird's feathers, the grains of sand,
709
01:15:35,600 --> 01:15:38,840
the stars in the sky, the sea waves.
710
01:15:39,000 --> 01:15:44,360
Try to enumerate the scales of all fish,
the hairs of all animals,
711
01:15:44,440 --> 01:15:48,400
the weeds in the fields around you,
the trees and their fruits
712
01:15:48,560 --> 01:15:53,000
and count the incalculable number
of so many other incalculable things.
713
01:15:53,080 --> 01:15:55,600
"That's impossible," said Jacinto.
714
01:15:55,680 --> 01:15:59,320
"Impossible? No, but it's a lot."
715
01:16:00,400 --> 01:16:03,800
When he finally reached the peak
of the highest mountain
716
01:16:03,880 --> 01:16:06,560
Jacinto felt like he was the size
of what he saw
717
01:16:06,640 --> 01:16:10,840
and in all infinite things he saw
his mother's eyes.
718
01:16:11,560 --> 01:16:16,840
On top of the highest mountain, Jacinto
no longer had eyes for the landscape
719
01:16:16,920 --> 01:16:19,960
but only for Beatriz.
720
01:16:48,120 --> 01:16:54,600
Sometimes Catarina got discouraged
and missed her mother's clarity.
721
01:16:54,680 --> 01:16:57,480
Her only remaining conviction
was that mothers
722
01:16:57,560 --> 01:17:01,880
were the only gods
without non-believers.
723
01:17:12,640 --> 01:17:15,080
Wanting to unlearn who she was,
724
01:17:15,160 --> 01:17:18,160
she climbed
to the top of the highest mountain.
725
01:17:18,240 --> 01:17:20,080
But when she got there,
726
01:17:20,160 --> 01:17:23,560
Catarina didn't find
the vastness of the landscape,
727
01:17:23,640 --> 01:17:28,880
the innumerable waves or the excessive
dimensions of the trees and mountains.
728
01:17:29,880 --> 01:17:33,360
She looked hard, but only found herself.
729
01:17:54,120 --> 01:17:56,600
I dreamed that you were coming
to visit me.
730
01:17:56,680 --> 01:18:00,120
It was very awkward
because I didn't know what to do.
731
01:18:00,640 --> 01:18:03,360
My body was no longer used to yours
732
01:18:03,880 --> 01:18:07,120
and my heart, full of happiness,
could hardly believe it.
733
01:18:07,880 --> 01:18:12,640
But you came and I told you:
"Mom, you can't be here. You died."
734
01:18:13,120 --> 01:18:18,400
And you said: "Don't be silly, Catarina.
I didn't die. Can't you see I'm here?"
735
01:18:18,520 --> 01:18:22,200
"I had to take care of some business
and it took me longer than I expected."
736
01:18:22,880 --> 01:18:28,440
"It took you longer than you expected?
Mom, 15 years have passed."
737
01:18:28,520 --> 01:18:32,080
"Like I said, I didn't think it would
take me this long."
738
01:18:32,160 --> 01:18:36,280
"I'll explain later. Now tell me
about yourself. That's what matters."
739
01:18:36,360 --> 01:18:38,960
"How are you? What have you been doing?"
740
01:18:39,040 --> 01:18:42,040
And in that moment I'm petrified,
741
01:18:42,120 --> 01:18:45,160
because I don't know
how to summarize 15 years.
742
01:18:45,240 --> 01:18:47,960
I don't even know
how to talk to you anymore
743
01:18:48,040 --> 01:18:49,760
or what it's like to have a mother.
744
01:18:49,840 --> 01:18:51,200
I immediately ask you:
745
01:18:51,280 --> 01:18:53,880
"When have you arrived?
Where are you staying?"
746
01:18:53,960 --> 01:18:58,400
And you, always resourceful, say:
"I rented a room. It wasn't easy though."
747
01:18:58,480 --> 01:19:00,920
"Have you seen how expensive
the houses are in Lisbon?"
748
01:19:01,080 --> 01:19:02,920
"What do you mean you rented a room?"
749
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:06,800
"I didn't want to
bother you or your father."
750
01:19:06,880 --> 01:19:10,040
So that was really happening.
751
01:19:10,120 --> 01:19:15,400
You were next to me
and I had so much to tell you.
752
01:19:15,880 --> 01:19:18,680
But I was in a hurry
to get to a meeting,
753
01:19:18,760 --> 01:19:20,880
so I grabbed my phone
to look at the time.
754
01:19:20,960 --> 01:19:26,600
And you said: "What is that?"
"What? This? This is a cell phone."
755
01:19:26,680 --> 01:19:28,600
"But where are the buttons?"
756
01:19:28,680 --> 01:19:33,400
And I told you about smartphones
and that you can even go on the internet.
757
01:19:33,480 --> 01:19:39,280
You seemed surprised and then, suddenly,
you became very sad.
758
01:19:39,960 --> 01:19:42,400
"How could I have missed so much?
759
01:19:42,480 --> 01:19:46,040
Look how different you look!
So much older."
760
01:19:46,120 --> 01:19:49,480
And since I saw you were about
to cry, I quickly said:
761
01:19:49,560 --> 01:19:52,280
"No, mom, things haven't changed
that much,
762
01:19:52,360 --> 01:19:55,520
but I'll explain everything
you want to know."
763
01:19:55,600 --> 01:19:58,560
"We have time, don't we?"
764
01:19:58,640 --> 01:20:02,280
I decided that I wouldn't tell anyone
that you were alive after all,
765
01:20:02,360 --> 01:20:06,400
because I was afraid that by telling
that stopped being true.
766
01:20:06,560 --> 01:20:08,640
And I really wanted you to be alive.
767
01:20:09,400 --> 01:20:11,360
Every day I woke up really early,
768
01:20:11,440 --> 01:20:14,600
went to work and then left in a rush,
769
01:20:14,680 --> 01:20:18,640
always with the excuse that I had things
to do, but I went to meet you instead.
770
01:20:19,520 --> 01:20:21,120
You wanted to see everything.
771
01:20:21,200 --> 01:20:24,680
You were amazed at Lisbon
and wanted to eat sushi,
772
01:20:24,760 --> 01:20:29,680
since you had never done it
and now it was a common thing.
773
01:20:30,560 --> 01:20:33,160
Every day brought new discoveries.
774
01:20:33,240 --> 01:20:36,080
You were especially excited
about Wikipedia.
775
01:20:36,160 --> 01:20:40,400
Every day you told me about
a new discovery you had made.
776
01:20:42,920 --> 01:20:46,440
You never talked about yourself,
we always talked about me.
777
01:20:46,920 --> 01:20:49,200
And there was so much I wanted
to ask you.
778
01:20:49,640 --> 01:20:52,360
I have so many doubts
about so many things.
779
01:20:54,960 --> 01:20:57,840
Mom, you were the one who went
with the birds,
780
01:20:57,920 --> 01:21:01,920
but it's always you I remember
when spring comes.
781
01:22:37,880 --> 01:22:40,400
Who fixes their children's hair?
782
01:22:40,760 --> 01:22:45,160
Who straightens the tablecloths
and creates a home?
783
01:22:45,240 --> 01:22:47,800
Who guides their children's eyes?
784
01:22:48,280 --> 01:22:50,040
Mothers.
785
01:22:50,360 --> 01:22:53,920
Mothers' hands, full of past shipwrecks,
786
01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:57,560
but where every day
new flowers are born.
787
01:22:57,640 --> 01:23:02,800
In a mother's hands there's always sleep
and there's always time.
788
01:23:07,520 --> 01:23:11,160
My mother is in discussions
about the existence of God and UFOs.
789
01:23:11,720 --> 01:23:16,640
She's in autumn, in the yellow leaves
that gently fall on the sidewalk.
790
01:23:16,880 --> 01:23:19,240
My mother is
in the tidying up of chests,
791
01:23:19,320 --> 01:23:21,960
in the tidying up
of our childhoods by age.
792
01:23:22,040 --> 01:23:26,680
Who else besides her would have kept
the toys that João made when he was 6?
793
01:23:26,760 --> 01:23:29,680
My mother is
in afternoon treats, in tea,
794
01:23:29,760 --> 01:23:32,120
in the brown couch
that doesn't exist anymore
795
01:23:32,200 --> 01:23:34,400
and in the bookmark collection.
796
01:23:34,480 --> 01:23:38,840
My mother is in Montargil, in the orange
trees that bear fruit all year round,
797
01:23:38,920 --> 01:23:44,640
in the unconditional love for flowers
and in her short nickname, Triz.
798
01:23:44,720 --> 01:23:49,560
My mother is in red mullets
from Setúbal, in foolish decisions,
799
01:23:49,640 --> 01:23:51,800
in the humility and violence of nature.
800
01:23:51,880 --> 01:23:55,040
My mother is in the love letters
that are locked in a chest,
801
01:23:55,480 --> 01:23:58,160
she's in the Christmas dinners
prepared by my sister.
802
01:23:58,240 --> 01:24:02,440
My mother is in my sister's eyes,
in João's nose, in Nuno's shoulders,
803
01:24:02,520 --> 01:24:05,320
in Zé's gentleness, in Pedro's empathy.
804
01:24:05,400 --> 01:24:07,760
My mother is in my laughter,
805
01:24:07,840 --> 01:24:11,240
in my freckles
and in the inability to make plans.
806
01:24:11,320 --> 01:24:13,240
My mother is in the Land Reform.
807
01:24:13,320 --> 01:24:17,520
My mother lives in the crimson cloths,
in the green felt curtains,
808
01:24:17,600 --> 01:24:19,440
and in the vinyl record we made
809
01:24:19,520 --> 01:24:22,600
so our father
could hear our voices out at sea.
810
01:24:22,680 --> 01:24:24,840
My mother lives in the sunset
811
01:24:24,920 --> 01:24:28,240
and every day
she dives to the bottom of the sea.
812
01:24:34,640 --> 01:24:43,160
621, 622, 623, 624…
813
01:24:44,400 --> 01:24:53,160
625, 626, 627, 628.
814
01:25:11,640 --> 01:25:17,360
Without him noticing it,
time had finally passed by Jacinto,
815
01:25:17,440 --> 01:25:23,400
who had gained grey hair, new memories,
a family that grew, and 69 years.
816
01:25:24,400 --> 01:25:28,880
When he turned 57, Jacinto realized
that he was the same age
817
01:25:29,080 --> 01:25:31,520
his mother would be for all eternity.
818
01:25:31,720 --> 01:25:36,160
He looked at himself in the mirror
and reflected on everything he had done
819
01:25:36,360 --> 01:25:39,640
and on all he had yet to be.
820
01:25:39,880 --> 01:25:43,480
He came to the conclusion
that if he died in that moment
821
01:25:43,560 --> 01:25:46,760
he would be extremely sad.
822
01:25:50,200 --> 01:25:54,480
Father, when you read the script
for this movie, you said:
823
01:25:54,560 --> 01:25:57,320
"Some things didn't happen
exactly like this."
824
01:25:57,400 --> 01:26:02,160
I answered: "If they didn't happen
like this, then what's the problem?"
825
01:26:02,240 --> 01:26:06,360
"But they could have!
My name isn't even Jacinto!"
826
01:26:06,440 --> 01:26:10,400
"But it could be. It's much more
original than Henrique."
827
01:26:10,480 --> 01:26:12,840
"Yeah, but my mother
called me Henrique."
828
01:26:12,920 --> 01:26:16,320
"Sorry, dad, but it would be confusing
if we had two Henriques in the film."
829
01:26:16,400 --> 01:26:20,280
"Catarina, it's not children who decide
their parents' names."
830
01:26:20,360 --> 01:26:22,720
"Time doesn't move backwards."
831
01:26:22,800 --> 01:26:26,880
"I understand that might not be
very reassuring, but that's how it is."
832
01:26:27,640 --> 01:26:32,360
"Dad, let me tell you about an encounter
I had at the flea market."
833
01:26:32,440 --> 01:26:35,760
"I was looking for clothes
to use in the film
834
01:26:35,840 --> 01:26:37,920
when I found a nice saleswoman."
835
01:26:38,000 --> 01:26:41,600
"Take that, miss, it's cheap.
And take this skirt.
836
01:26:41,680 --> 01:26:43,400
It goes well with the shirt."
837
01:26:43,480 --> 01:26:46,800
"Thank you, but it's not for me.
It's for a movie."
838
01:26:46,880 --> 01:26:49,760
"Oh, you make movies?"
"I'm making this one."
839
01:26:49,840 --> 01:26:54,080
She looked at me and said:
"I used to do theatre. I loved it."
840
01:26:54,160 --> 01:26:56,600
I smiled. "When was that?"
841
01:26:56,680 --> 01:27:02,560
"Ages ago. I believe it was before
I worked in Amadora's city council."
842
01:27:02,640 --> 01:27:07,720
"You worked there?"
"Yes, I did. From 1981 to 2001."
843
01:27:07,800 --> 01:27:11,480
"Then maybe you knew my mother,
who also worked there."
844
01:27:11,560 --> 01:27:14,680
"And what's her name?"
"Ana Maria Pinto."
845
01:27:14,760 --> 01:27:18,680
"Of course I know her! Ask her
if she remembers…"
846
01:27:18,760 --> 01:27:23,880
I didn't let her finish her sentence.
"I can't anymore. She died."
847
01:27:23,960 --> 01:27:28,880
"That's terrible! She was so young.
I can see her now."
848
01:27:28,960 --> 01:27:32,160
"Such a beautiful woman,
with freckles and a big smile."
849
01:27:32,240 --> 01:27:35,920
"She was such a nice person."
"Yes, she was."
850
01:27:36,000 --> 01:27:40,160
"She really was. I'm not just saying
that because she was your mother."
851
01:27:40,240 --> 01:27:43,240
"It makes me sad to hear the news."
852
01:27:45,160 --> 01:27:47,680
The saleswoman looked moved and I said:
853
01:27:47,760 --> 01:27:52,920
"What a lovely coincidence!
After all of these years we meet here."
854
01:27:53,720 --> 01:27:57,160
"You're right."
And she put the shirt in a bag.
855
01:27:57,240 --> 01:28:01,920
"I'm offering the skirt."
"Thank you, that's really nice."
856
01:28:02,000 --> 01:28:06,440
"It was a pleasure to meet you,
but I forgot to ask you your name."
857
01:28:07,000 --> 01:28:10,640
She smiled and said: "Esperança" (Hope).
858
01:28:49,760 --> 01:28:52,760
Before he died, my grandfather
asked his children
859
01:28:52,840 --> 01:28:56,480
to help him burn the letters
between Triz and him.
860
01:28:58,000 --> 01:29:02,040
Henrique, who was now very ill,
couldn't do it
861
01:29:02,120 --> 01:29:06,480
and found it too painful
to burn the proof of his love.
862
01:29:08,040 --> 01:29:11,880
His children reacted badly,
because they found it unbearable
863
01:29:11,960 --> 01:29:17,400
to burn those words that had come out
of their mother's hands.
864
01:29:18,040 --> 01:29:22,640
Those words contained the gestures
of the hands that had raised them
865
01:29:23,200 --> 01:29:25,600
and shaped their worlds.
866
01:29:26,080 --> 01:29:29,120
Nonetheless, deep down,
867
01:29:29,200 --> 01:29:33,200
they knew that those letters
belonged to the private lives
868
01:29:33,280 --> 01:29:37,000
of a man and a woman
who happened to be their parents.
869
01:29:39,160 --> 01:29:44,680
They each imagined the words
that were in those bundles of letters.
870
01:29:45,120 --> 01:29:48,840
If they couldn't have them, they had
the right to invent them,
871
01:29:48,920 --> 01:29:52,160
and thus imagine their mother again.
872
01:30:17,400 --> 01:30:20,160
The following day, while everyone
was sleeping,
873
01:30:20,560 --> 01:30:23,080
Jacinto left the house
and went down to the dam,
874
01:30:23,160 --> 01:30:25,760
where they had burned the letters.
875
01:30:27,680 --> 01:30:33,080
Moved, he realized that some things
are stronger than fire.
876
01:30:49,680 --> 01:30:52,280
The day they took the remaining
furniture from the house
877
01:30:52,360 --> 01:30:57,080
where the family had grown,
my grandfather passed away in his sleep.
878
01:30:57,160 --> 01:31:00,680
He didn't suffer. And he knew
that he could leave.
879
01:31:00,760 --> 01:31:03,960
Everything had been impeccably prepared
880
01:31:04,040 --> 01:31:08,120
and his children's hands had multiplied
to take out the childhoods
881
01:31:08,200 --> 01:31:13,320
that were perfectly sealed in the chests,
the endless collections,
882
01:31:13,400 --> 01:31:16,640
the many decades,
and their mother's memories.
883
01:31:18,640 --> 01:31:21,280
But nobody remembered to take the seeds
884
01:31:21,360 --> 01:31:25,120
that, throughout the years,
Beatriz had scattered around the house.
885
01:31:26,120 --> 01:31:30,800
They say that plants grow faster when
they are away from sly looks.
886
01:31:30,880 --> 01:31:33,840
For a month the house was left alone.
887
01:31:33,920 --> 01:31:37,440
And during that month
every seed sprouted,
888
01:31:37,520 --> 01:31:41,440
and nature, which in the past lived
through their mother's hands,
889
01:31:41,520 --> 01:31:43,480
took over the house.
890
01:31:44,440 --> 01:31:47,520
Because Beatriz
would not let herself die.
891
01:31:47,600 --> 01:31:52,560
Her love for the earth was too great
and by invading the house
892
01:31:52,640 --> 01:31:57,560
she reminded her children
that they were destined to be birds.
893
01:35:29,840 --> 01:35:33,080
My dear, I have with me our four eldest,
894
01:35:33,600 --> 01:35:39,080
who, though shy and awkward,also want to leave their message.
895
01:35:39,840 --> 01:35:44,600
They must be moved, in their own way,since they know that you will hear them,
896
01:35:44,840 --> 01:35:47,280
without them hearing or seeing you.
897
01:35:47,440 --> 01:35:51,600
Anyway, my dear,here we are, close to you,
898
01:35:51,680 --> 01:35:54,080
wrapping you in tender kisses.
899
01:35:56,080 --> 01:35:58,840
Daddy, I'm Henrique Manuel.
900
01:35:59,040 --> 01:36:01,600
I want to send you many kisses
901
01:36:01,840 --> 01:36:08,000
and say that we never forgetto ask Jesus to keep you safe
902
01:36:08,080 --> 01:36:11,840
and also that we miss you a lot.
903
01:36:12,840 --> 01:36:15,320
Now it's Pedro's turn. Pedro!What?
904
01:36:16,320 --> 01:36:19,320
Come talk to daddy.I already did!
905
01:36:22,320 --> 01:36:23,840
What did we agree on?
906
01:36:24,320 --> 01:36:26,840
What do you want daddy…?Love and kisses.
907
01:36:27,040 --> 01:36:28,520
Many kisses?Right.
908
01:36:29,600 --> 01:36:32,320
What about Nuno?Come talk to daddy!
909
01:36:33,320 --> 01:36:34,760
What was it?
910
01:36:34,840 --> 01:36:38,080
But you have to say it louderor your father won't hear you!
911
01:36:38,320 --> 01:36:40,840
Many kisses to daddy.
912
01:36:41,040 --> 01:36:44,720
Lots! And little Teresa?She's also here and wants to send…
913
01:36:48,080 --> 01:36:50,320
Isn't that right? Lots of kisses!
914
01:36:50,840 --> 01:36:53,560
You would like daddyto come home soon, right?
915
01:36:55,080 --> 01:36:56,320
Are you sure?
916
01:36:57,600 --> 01:37:00,080
Send kisses to daddy!
75971
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