All language subtitles for The KingsMan 2021 english

Transcript By SHIBAMOON a.k.a CryptoPay, please ask permission if you want to change these subtitles

your grace

sergeant i'm here on behalf of the red cross

and i'd like to speak with a general kitchener
there is no general kitchener here grace

security's paramount right now it's a
secret that you're visiting with the general

can't be too careful with these
boars and their guerrilla tactics

too careful looks like this place can
use a lot more care thank your pardon

sir but these concentration camps are the
reason we're winning this war this way

orlando our knight in shining armor

thank you for coming what's going on kitchener it
seems that you've been somewhat liberal with the

truth time has not been kind here well you'll
have to explain that to emily on my return

to england it will be my first port of course
she's outside with conrad why are we here mother

do you remember why king arthur
and his knights had a round table

because it meant that all men were equal

it's important that people born into
privilege lead by exam that's why your

father and i are patrons of the red cross
helping others not hiding behind our status

never forget that

i'm just going to check on your father

stay here conrad

this terrible warby over shoulder of king
arthur and his noble knights were still here

of course then which one
would you be i'd be laughing

we have emergency supplies from the red
cross thank god she's on our side well

on my side at least she's more of a force than
any of our enemies there's general kitchener

we'll open the gate bring in those supplies emily

that's a corner to hell kids

i'm here

you have to stay with me

oh

you have to stay with me darling

protect our son

protect him from this world

never let him see warm can

promise me

i promise

you know conrad up there i feel free yes i'm
very much looking forward to my first solo flight

i remember what happened to icarus
conrad when he flew too close to the sun

well i remember him needing
to escape man he got better

i think we both see that story differently
welcome home you're great thank you

afternoon everyone but if you're made in
flat yet well if god wanted man to fly

he would have given him wings yes i suppose
you try father's car you haven't any wheels

many watkins

my study in five minutes

your grace

your grace i should be reprimanding you for
your insolence your opinion behind closed doors

is one thing connie but i will not tolerate
such demonstrations in front of my household

i'll play by your rules when you play by mine do
you really think you can keep secrets from me what

do you mean once again you've turned down cousin
felix's invitation for conrad to stay with him in

russia and how do you know that bosnians love a
good gossip and we've all noticed that you've no

problem with felix travelling here but you seem
to have a problem with conrad traveling there

or anywhere for that matter guilty as charged
i'm sorry i should have discussed it with you

as all this flying around in circles made
you forget your manners what do i do now

you haven't even offered me a drink oh yes i'm
sorry and if we had discussed this what would

my opinion have been you think that my fear for
conrad's safety is a weakness fear is natural

the problem is the more you fear something
the more likely it is to come true

so then we're both in need
of a nanny so i could see

oh

can you fight with only one arm oh
yes if i had someone left to fight

do you really think a knife can beat a bullet
this is how people are fighting nowadays

now clean yourselves up before
this afternoon's appointment

my father also brought me here for my
first suit kingsman world's finest tailor

morning your grace hitting room
number one is ready for you thank you

i wish your mother could see you now she
would have been so proud i hope so far

although i might get more use out of a shooting
suit or a smoking jacket you know whatever might

help in the pursuit of fighting birds oh
come on father it's a big world out there

sooner or later you're going to have to let
me enjoy it even if even if you don't want to

you know conrad

our ancestors they were terrible people they
robbed lied pillaged and killed until one day

they found themselves a nobleman but
that nobility it never came from chivalry

it came from being tough and ruthless
back then to be called a gentle man

would have been a death sentence not the mark
of honor it is today we are oxfords not rogues

oxford kitchener i'm so glad we shared the same
taylor indeed well the kingsman clientele is

enough to make any club envious oxford can
i borrow you for a moment is there something

private may i suggest the patent room upstairs
sir perfect conrad this is morton my eighth cop

morton look after young conrad for us
for you it'll be my pleasure man good

i gather you turn down our austrian friend
archduke ferdinand's invitation to his shoot

surely your pacifism doesn't
extend to a few birds does it

us bumping into each other
here was no coincidence was it

all seven years in whitehall these days which
is why i felt kingsman a safer place for a chat

i'm worried that ferdinand's political ambitions
may be putting him in danger i need you to do me

a small favor what sort of favor so you're
serious about being a soldier oh yes which

regiment granted is couldn't it yes well no time
comes contact me i'll see what i can do conrad

you're going to need that shooting suit after all

my shepherd i have a separate egg
made especially for you and look

inside a little replica of angus your
favorite goat you're late take a seat

what is trust trust is having confidence

in the honesty of another that will be our
weapon to change the world who do i trust

animals never let me down
and they follow my commands

blindly the question i now have is can i trust you
to behave like them open the boxes in front of you

these rings will be the symbol of membership to my
vlog put them on and you will share in our success

but break my trust and inside you will
find my final gift to you a tortoise

am i not worthy of a better animal respondent i
have a bear i will happily exchange it with you

yes princess i will be the great bear of russia
take what you believe is yours and by all means

treat our shepherd with the same respect you hold
for that joke of a man who calls himself yodza go

ahead respite him take it i dare you no no we are
a team and rasputin here as like my beloved angus

always butting and [ __ ]

but do not mistake fund us for
weakness you late russian fuckstick

as everybody knows the door
toys eventually fins the race

now

my spy or should i see my mole in the british
government informs me that kitchener is concerned

for the safety of the archduke ferdinand
friends my wee bear are you ready to prove

kitchener's concerns are justified yes i
am my shepherd and i will not let you down

does that make sense to you ferdinand ah now i
understand why you accepted my shooting invitation

i didn't really believe kitchen and scare tactics

harping on about my being in danger well
only a fool ignores a friend's warning

thank you is it really too much to ask
i think you should come back with me

and hear what he has to say turning you down is a
hard task i will give you my decision tonight good

three

i come here on a visit of
goodwill to be greeted by bombs

i i shouldn't have brought
you here we need to get home

and i can protect you but i just protected
you i don't need protecting yes you do conrad

i'm sorry but you think you know what the world
is like but the truth is you're just a boy who

has no idea what men are capable of what watching
my mother die wasn't a good enough introduction

so

oh take the first lift

get this car moving now

father is terrible about ferdie and sophie

we're safe now aren't we yes but for how long
i'm beginning to understand what kitchen i was

so afraid of already there are rumors
the austrians are mobilizing their army

they don't believe this assassin acted
independently neither do i it's just serbia

i mean it's such a small part of the world why do
they care not because small things can grow into

big problems you see years ago there were three
young cousins the eldest was a real troublemaker

their grandmother was queen victoria kept
them in line they grew up to become kaiser

wilhelm of germany sar nicholas of russia and
king george of england and now for ferdinand's

assassination has given the moronic kaiser
a reason to reignite their childhood feud

but surely they've matured enough to avoid it all

one would hope so and thankfully we have
our own king george to help keep the peace

three young cousins who thought they knew
how to rule but now the soldiers are real

get two copies of this photograph made
and have them delivered with these

letters immediately i'll have more than see to it

restraint is a virtue remember

your duty his majesty my cousins the king
of england strongly suggests we do nothing

remember how prince george used to enjoy
it when your english mother and her english

doctors were torturing you george would
tease you about your deformities yeah

you and don't forget that snickering at
his side was your little russian cousin

cousin george is imploring self-restraint
against our other cousin the moronic kaiser

king george has always protected our interests

why would we go to war over something
so heavy because we gave serbia our word

and besides i hate the kaizen it would be good
for his oversight ego to match his undersized hand

a wise decision my son the soul
of russia is safe in your hand

the world will laugh at you for not keeping
your word and standing by the austrians

ignore the english king

as russia's ally we have no choice but to join
this war i don't understand that kaiser and the

tsar have both ignored the king's wishes why
that's a good question i all do respect sir

this debate should happen after we have
won the war the prime minister is waiting

and we're late morton's right my lord
it would be my honor to volunteer

oh no fine word john conrad but therein lies the
problem legally you're not old enough to join up

but still young enough to believe it's an
honorable thing to die for one's country

the object of war is not to die for one's
country but to make the enemy die for theirs

not even i could have imagined a war like this

what i thought would take a decade for
us to achieve has taken two short years

we have drained europe's
resources and millions have died

pointlessly we have broken the trust

between the people and the inbred monarchs
who only rule due to their fortune of birth

do you know who hates king george
more than the kaiser me the english

monarchy has impressed my beloved scotland for
over 700 years and at his time for retribution

we will pull russia out of our war and unleash
the full might of germany to destroy england

are you ready to begin the demise of
king george i will be done by shannon

they've started conscription yes i'm well aware
of that conrad and well it was bad enough i didn't

join when it was violent conrad this is not
a war do you understand it's not like any war

that we've ever seen i don't care i should
be fighting it's not fighting it's dying

much like this conversation

tell that's a kitchen huh

you're still too young conrad

but everyone's lying about their age they're
all going over i know and i know you want to

fight it's a testament to your character and i'm
proud of you for it yes but look what i was given

in the village it's the symbol of a coward
and i should suffer such humiliation

reputation is what people think
of you character is what you are

victoria cross across is it yours yes when i
was young like you i wanted to serve my country

but soon i began to question what
right we had to take the land riches

and the lives of people who were
only defending their homeland

every man i killed i killed a piece of myself

maybe having a feather would have been better so
the next day i put down my rifle and i picked up

a stretcher i should have been given the
cross for saving lives not taking them

as soon as i replaced this with my
own medal i'll join the medical corps

i've informed kitchener of
your intention of joining up

and he has assured me that he
will not let you slip through

i have a vision this boy is a
symbol of the soul of russia

you must save russia

you must pull out of the
war to save your son's life

this is nonsense you dare to
question the vessel of the lord

you died to risk your son's life
you just come to your senses now

my dear cousin conrad it has been too long
since we last saw each other and i'm sorry

i'm only writing to you now but in these
difficult times i'm not sure whom i can trust

welcome there

for a while now i've harbored my suspicions of the
so-called priest rasputin he has the time under

his spell both spiritually and through opium
and has persuaded him to withdraw from the war

the tsar intends to announce
this in his new year's speech

cousin felix sends his regards oh i
hope your father's influence can help

holden any ideas what's up in my opinion this is
a very grave situation we can trust absolutely no

one i suggest we assemble and lead squad of
men we go to russia we sought out ourselves

agreed secret immediately as i'm not allowed
to join now may i at least go with you

god i do know your father made me swear
that i would protect my son at all costs

where do you want to go conrad

russia why to help cousin yusuf deal with rasputin

he's going to force russia out of the war
kitchener have you killed so many men that

you're now relying on boys to run your military
intelligence how dare you speak up morton

conrad we're leaving

now

yeah don't you they just said we don't
make such a mess of things in russia

one more dispatch box for tonight son
damn it morton how much you expect a man

to read terribly sorry my lord i would
help but i'm definitely definitely more

of a soldier than amazing we'll go
outside man and get some air right

five million dead

may god forgive me

first ferdinand and now kitchener this was not an
accident kitchen was your friend not to mention

this country's last home how can you be so calm
my dear oxford i wanted to apologize for our

recent tracker in my opinion conrad is a fine
young man he was betrayed we must do something

who is ready to face the world don't ignore
me father you know it's true you cannot keep

running away from problems but i shall of course
respect your wishes and do everything i can

to keep him out of harm's way i don't believe it
was a german mind there is something more afoot

and what if you're successful
what if you're successful and

keep you locked away as the world burns

but until that day comes i will no doubt
be kept busy i remind your friend kid

your incessant need to protect me will not
redeem your own failure to protect mother

i'm sorry father

i'm sorry

follow me

well about time welcome to the
club is he part of the briefing yes

take a look

you see this war has made me realize that we
cannot rely on politicians to do their job

properly so i decided that we should do something
about it this isn't making any sense to me let me

explain my reputation is of a man not wanting
to be involved which means that my character

finds it much easier to be involved unnoticed
just like domestic servants everywhere who are

seen but not heard essentially invisible unless
they're part of the oxford family of course

chola and polly have gathered a network of
domestics such as the world has never seen

while british intelligence listens to keyholes
are people that actually in the room very clever

now after ferdinand's assassination i visited
gerald princip in his prison in sarajevo

ah thank you

why did you kill my friend it
was the alcohol i was overcame

a very expensive rim for such a simple serb

ah and a secret compartment
the smelt of almonds therefore

cyanide princip's ring proves he was not acting
alone there is as you say conrad more afoot indeed

your cousin's letter made us
extend our network to russia

and it paid off the sales nanny found a ring
in rasputin's chambers identical to princess

but with a tortoise instead of a bear and i think
we must go to russia immediately and find a way

to interrogate this monk but by all accounts
rasputin is unbreakable as long as he's alive

the cell will never change his mind and with
russia out of the war england is doomed my lord

one life to save millions

so the only way to honor the vow i made to your
mother is to break the vow i made to myself

i'm afraid we have no other choice it
is time for us to kill gregory rasputin

rasputin has accepted an invitation
to your cousin's christmas bowl

the sars nanny informs me of rasputin's
weakness for sweet cakes and even sweeter boys

so after the main course is served
conrad will entice brass beauty

to a private dessert in the summer room where
naomi's legendary paper towels laced with poison

getting to eat the cake understand yes brother
good tonight we will be rose not oxfords

our guest of father rasputin

are you waiters or englishmen

whatever you are get me a [ __ ] drink
are you a monk or a ballet dancer

i see you've mastered the very oscar glide

why don't you glide over there
and get me a [ __ ] drink

english man i like the english

but it's a long way to come for a christmas
party for me yes but not for my son

we're certainly a lot more fun
than i am in these dark days

i'm looking for someone who can help me gain
an audience with the czar perhaps you can be of

assistance but i am just a humble monk a humble
monk that this whole room reveres more fears

i only make decisions when my stomach is full or
my balls are empty well thank god dinner is being

served so your father tells me you like to have
fun yes i believe i'm sufficiently open-minded

what is it that you russians
do that an englishman can enjoy

everything food music delay the
backdrop art but most of all

we like to [ __ ] like tigers

is that something an english boy might enjoy

yes but tonight i do not want to teach

change seats with your father

i'm so sorry if i've offended you only if you
consider being boring offensive not with your talk

places

fearful curse

you know if i didn't know any better i'd say
your son was trying to [ __ ] me more likely

you were trying to [ __ ] him your reputation
precedes you or if you know so much about my

reputation put your leg in my lap i may be able to
fix it yeah but here somewhere private of course

here we are

you are expecting someone yes
our nanny is a wonderful cook

so she's made this cake as a
gift for our host the prince

please take your trousers off and sit down
certainly i will make the room warm for

you come here

ah there we are trousers off

blood is life its flow is healing

and i can teach it where to flow

oh your wound was fixed superficially
and with very poor needle work

this cake is good now yes it's
bakery tart it's my favorite

we can eat it together when when i put my
trousers back on no want to do this properly

i will need energy

very english yes very english

kill me

let me lick your wounds yes trust me oh god

oh my god don't worry i will
help you and you will help me

why do you want to see the needs signs stay
in the wall what makes you think you want

i'm told he's been influenced god now we're
getting somewhere so if you really want your leg

fixed tell me the truth why are you here
i'm here because because the cars will come

i apologize your kid

did not agree with me

we must ice your leg only two minutes in the
cold water and you will be like a new man

my my leg yes it's healed yes yes walk to me

no no no no not the king leave the king

the

two minutes two minutes and you
will be healed you will be healed

tell me a lot of almonds in bakewell thought
what other ingredients in big well done no idea

well i am and i also know what else
smells like almonds shall you die

to keep myself immune

now that's more like

time to dance on your graves

right

oh

foreign

uh

hmm

hmm

should we

please kill me

beautiful boy

um

i fixed your leg which is more
than i can say for your set neck

thank you for my new leg yeah

are you all right i'm fine thank you
no thank you you've saved my life

and you mine

what about sherlock no you'll be all
right he just needs to sleep it off

why is it the boys are always so
messy pick him up it's time to go

i want you to pick up where rasputin failed i
don't care about your ideology or your politics

just start your [ __ ] revolution and
get russia out of my war comrade lenin

yes my shiver when my revolution is
complete the flocks left will be so powerful

your problem will be finding my
equal to balance from the right

what's wrong with him today your
father broke his power of pacifism

but it was the right thing to do right
or wrong it doesn't make it any easier

happy birthday to you happy birthday to
you happy birthday happy birthday to you

to my son

thank you today you proved yourself
a man and you've made us all

very proud a toast to our
successful mission and my new leg

happy birthday conrad happy birthday

thank you father

i'm glad that we can finally
see eye to eye well i can now

now that i've blown up 19 candles i'm sure
you'll give me your blessing as i join up

and finally fulfill my duty to my country conrad
you've just exceeded your duty to your country

my wishes have nothing to do with your age father
your wishes were only granted because of my age

there's nothing you can do to stop me now
what i ask for is your blessing at least

i'm sorry conrad but you're asking for the one
thing that i cannot and i will not give you

our naval blockade around england has sunk
another american passenger ship the american

president could soon run out of patience
and if they join the war on england's side

we will be defeated there are no rules in war
and making england start to death that's the risk

but if you send this it will mitigate the risk

are you sure yes my geyser

get me zoomer

telegraphs are following

send this immediately use the
kaiser's top level encoding

gentlemen we have a priority one intercept

whatever you're doing cease now
we need this code cracked pronto

tea please

good job rita this code is
what the kaiser has been using

it must be unbelievably important can you break it

i'll need a lot more information

what makes the grass

is

what does that mean

direct from germany

thank you

i've cracked the cold it's remarkable
zimmerman the german secretary of state

in berlin to their ambassador in mexico
city he proposes an alliance with mexico

germany wants to divert america's attention
so they're asking mexico to invade america

imprint that so when president wilson
sees this then he has no choice but

he has to enter the war and the war will be
over well done oh my my dear body well done you

you are incredible and there's hope for conrad

well done oxford my idiot cousin the
kaiser has finally shot himself in the foot

you've hit us six with his telegram
oh boy kitchener would be proud

well i think champagne is in order uh thank you
your majesty but i vowed not to drink until the

comrade has returned safely from the wall why
didn't you mention that earlier i'll make sure

the only action your boy sees is sharpening the
general's pencil i'm not sure that's cricket

orlando you know how many boys lives you've
saved to this telegram please let me save one

sir now that conrad's safety is assured

to peace in our time to peace in our time

king george is waiting for your
response mr president but how can this

telegram be real not even the germans
would be this stupid but sir i'm not

doing a damn thing till i have undeniable
proof douglas statesman on the rocks please

lieutenant oxford reporting for duty sir

ah yes oxford lucky man you've
been assigned back to london

sir there must be some mistake fortune favors
the brave or those under the king's gaze

sir

follow me

good question it's a complicated answer
i can only tell the duke and person well

it's still in the name she's gonna sound
stupid according to conrad i'm lancelot

you're merlin and i'm requesting
an audience with king arthur alonso

doubts persist as to telegram authenticity
worried wilson won't go to war idiots some

fools there's nothing left to debate polly do you
think we can extend our network to the white house

most of their household staff were trained
in england so it shouldn't be a problem

right well let's go to work i'll
get onto it right away thank you

yes come in

yo greece we have a visitor who is it a
friend of conrad saying he's landslide

asking to see king over that brings
back foreign memories um shut him in

so then why are you wearing
grenadiers officer's uniform

this uh

this will explain it better than
i can it's a wee bit surreal so

dear father i too can play games
i've swapped places with archie reed

the man in front of you actually he's a good
man yes sir who is simply following my orders

and is possibly as confused as you are please
ensure my actions don't get him into any trouble

tomorrow i finally fulfill my wish to go to
the front and in the meantime i enclose a poem

which i thought you might appreciate
bent double like old beggars under sacks

knock kneed coughing like
hags we cursed through sludge

till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
and towards our distant rest began to trudge

men marched asleep many had lost
their boots but limped on bloodshot

all went lame all blind drunk with fatigue death
even to the hoots of tired of stripped five nines

that dropped behind

you lads welcome to the front line this
trench will be your home for the next

come on

be therefore man this one
never stopped surprising me

a german waving a union jack what's next
allow me to answer that sergeant major

that runner was actually a british spy
he was bringing me vital information

our country needs what he was carrying
and i therefore need six volunteers

you will accompany me to retrieve
what's left of him as soon as it's dark

very good lad who else

sergeant you fight one step forward much five more
brave volunteers excellent we move out of midnight

hold your fire if the heroes from the
trenches will be fired upon from both sides

so

ugh

please

come on

oh

so

over there

so

huh

first time out here

same side god for the union jack eh

i can honestly say that my first
time was worse than losing this leg

i'm so sorry i shouldn't be the one crying
come over here and help me out i'm freezing

honey

i thought i knew what i wanted

and now it'll make sense

well i suggest we solve both our problems huh

i need to get this to high command the
contents could help end this bloody war

as i won't be walking anytime soon
i suggest you finish the mission

and go home to a hero's welcome
no no off we go to a hero's walk

[ __ ] yeah

looking good

so

so

all right you all right
jesus christ you're amazing

i've never seen anything like it the bloody
over you're doing over there in the first place

he'll explain everything he took the full force
of that blast sir yeah i wish you made it back

son i tell you if i am worth the victoria truck i
don't know what is i always carry on the mission

i need to get his tag command immediately i'll
tell you there myself what's your name soldier

archie that's quite what you read actually did
you say yeah that's right lance corporal actually

don't platoon first battalion
the black watch all right

is that your best scottish
accent you're not actually

lance corporal archery is a friend of mine
and i've been looking for him all night

you're right there's a simple
explanation i'm not arguing german spy

your son was killed in action

holy

if in some smothering dreams you too could
pace behind the wagon that we flung him in

and watch the white eyes writhing in his face

his hanging face like a devil's sick of sin
if you could hear at every job the blood

come gargling from the froth
corrupted lungs obscene as cancer

bitter as the cud of vile incurable sores
on innocent tongues my friend you would not

tell with such high zest to children ardent
for some desperate glory the old lie dubshay

it is sweet and proper to die for one's country

i nikolai alexandrovich romanov emperor of russia
to hereby declare my revocable determination

to renounce the throne for myself and my
descendants through this instrument of abdication

immediately

uh

the documents conrad recovered turned out
to be the german ambassador's original

handwritten telegram that i cracked
it's the concrete proof america needed

america would not have to join the war
conrad succeeded where we all failed

there is a code of honor and using
a distraction to your own advantage

breaks that code what apologies my shepherd
but i have disturbing news well your plan

for russia has been a great success my plan
to keep america out of the war has backfired

the american president is about to be given
the actual telegram i forced the kaiser to send

such undeniable proof could provoke
the americans into entering the war

bunker i'm like a man who admits to his mistakes
i do but i like more women who can fix them

have our american friend dupont get mata
into the white house time for you to work

your magic on the president mata now go on take
the shoe the president through the real forces

will you grace me having tea

it's scotch time 24 hours a day

um

neither do i

it looks like you can use a strong one to sober up

i'm afraid it'll take more than that so oh
well maybe this will do the trick russia's

pulled out of the wall the british empire faces
imminent defeat america still refuses to join

i personally telephoned president wilson
he didn't deign to receive my call so they

got to him as well indeed the kaiser's blockade
is working the people are hungry next revolution

might be here i've even been advised to change my
german surname sax coburg to windsor more english

i'm afraid than sir that england is doomed

i wanted to give you this

for conrad a true hero

a man who knew his duty

enough of this self-pitying poppycock
if it were just you you and i

in our grief i'd say do as you will drown
in drink and i'd join you but he's watching

and he would have been such a better man

but he can't he won't be that not
anymore so you must in his stead

be the man your son would have been

regretfully i can no longer remain
in your service forgive me my lady

my heart is broken as well holly holly

i do not accept your resignation

but

i will accept a very strong cup of tea

looking better you grace feeling better polly

so what have i missed we followed your last
sober order and extended our network to the

white house the president's butler informed us
that since receiving the telegram conrad recovered

the president hasn't been himself
this may be the proof i asked for

but remember my election promise out of the
war not in douglas get me a statement on the

rocks now constantly engaged in top secret
conversations with his embassy in london

and ignoring all advice to go to war and do we
have someone in the embassy of course mr president

i don't know how to proceed we're meeting
to discuss your new demands i see and she

suggests we make an unannounced visit at
three o'clock right well you better move on

good afternoon please inform the ambassador
the duke of oxford is here to see him

yes

thank you for your time mr ambassador

if you wouldn't mind i'm sorry i
couldn't help admiring your scar

an exquisite cashmere yes very rare do you
know the test of a truly pure catchment

a ring yet happily you do not wear one you are

mistaken now that is disappointing but this

is not

in the balance i'm gonna bend the rules now tell

me who's behind this also help
me you'll never breathe again

ah ambassador

is she dead no she has an extreme case of hypoxia

she'll be fine and so will you as
long as we have an honest conversation

what you're looking at is the lady you strangled
she filmed herself seducing the president and is

now blackmailing us to not even think about
entering the war we cannot risk the integrity

of the u.s presidency i'm sure now if we can get
that negative then we will happily join england

and put germany out of business well i suggest
you interrogate her and i'll follow up on this

this is cashmere from the camaliro goat

it's very rare where does it come from mr
collins catch me book number one please

thank you it comes from here the only place
in the world where the camellia goat breeds

excellent chola we're going
into the cashmere business

i can see six men guarding the lift you can
call it that give them and their numbers will

be reduced oh no polly the film's negative is
going to be up there and that's our real prize if

these guards are alerted then i don't think we'll
make it up it's vital that we control this lift

this is called a parachute it means
that one can jump out of a plane safely

so tomorrow at dawn i'll fly the plane over the
mountain and shoulder will jump out you land with

the parachute take control of the lift and then
you fire this flare it's a signal to me by which

time i'd have landed the plane made my way over to
the bottom of the lift while polly provides cover

so i could do anything for you but i cannot
jump out of an aeroplane and it's not that

i wouldn't try it's there i know i'd let you down
uh yes well i appreciate your fear of heights but

i am the only one who can fly so but you wouldn't
have to land the play you just have to land

yourself hmm well it um would be a bad form to ask
a man to do something that i wouldn't do myself

all right shower get ready
for my signal we go a dawn

oh

um

oh

huh

oh

huh hmm

look at that

and she hasn't been seeing [ __ ]

do you see this if the american president
thinks he can [ __ ] me he is very much mistaken

take this negative to the press and it will
ruin his reputation war will be molesting on

the americans mind and when the scandal is over
make sure the new president is in our pocket right

hey

hold up

there's the signal get to the lift i'll cover you

uh

um

wait

oh

thank god you're here this plan
hasn't exactly gone by the numbers

honey do you have the film i have
the negative in my hand your grace

well done so we have what we came for yes but
the cause of all this mayhem is still in there

enough of dealing with tentacle silver it's time
to cut off the head it's good to have you back sir

so

you have got to be [ __ ] kidding me the thorn in
my side has just been a peace loving english rose

the duke of oxford good day to you sir

you are the very symbol of everything i'm
trying to destroy aristocrats like you stole

my parents mill in scotland when i was a lad
entitlement has title in it for a reason no

i'm gonna [ __ ] love calling
you come to puppy you pot prank

i'm out

the sound of silence it's my understanding that
you duke a formidable swordsman what say we end

this shite as gentlemen after all manners maketh
man a gentleman does not hide in the shadows i

surprise

morton you see a little misplaced trust
allows one to get away with murder this

debate should happen after we have won the war
i suggest we go to russia we sort out ourselves

as far as i'm concerned his blood

i've gotten you're gonna be harsh

two on one behaving like a true gentleman

you're delusional when you've killed millions
what see one more for good measure uh

come on oh my god get up i said get up

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hey my regards to the old kitchen

he can't do it he can't let me fall he
goes against your every belief you are

a pacifist i'm now completely reliant
on your mercy oh boy you're right

i shouldn't let you fall only now i have
become the man that my son would have been

are you all right we've been to worse your grace

sir you'd jump in front of a bullet for me
but not out of an airplane so i would see you

thank you my friend my pleasure so shoulder
how are we going to get down from here

mr president chef has made your
favorite peanut butter cookies thank you

immediately we are coming to war

this victory is all down to
you and your fine son conrad

and the courage of so many others so of course

britain thanks you and i thank you for ensuring
that i didn't meet the same fate as my cousins

wilhelm's application was understandable
but what happened to nicholas

was despicable it was i hear your great
personal debt that i still have my crown

in that case would you meet
me tomorrow at kingsman

three o'clock a taylor shop
yes sir number 11 saddle round

all of us here today are united
sadly in losing our sons and friends

in this terrible war what happened to this
generation of young men must never happen again

i believe the terms of versailles are too earnest
too extreme and could precipitate another war

what the world needs is an organization that can
channel its resources towards preserving peace and

protecting life an independent intelligence agency
operating at the highest level of discretion above

the politics and bureaucracy of government-run
spy organizations to that end i have acquired

this shop and i propose that we become the
founding members of the kingsman agency

my code name will be

arthur and if you agree to join me you may turn

over your place card where you
will find your own code name

i am galahad

i am once a lot i am head of here

i am excellent and this is merlin
who will be our quartermaster

may our sons and friends rest
in peace and long live the

thank kingsman