All language subtitles for The Greatest American Hero s03e08 Space Ranger

Look at what's happened to me

I can't believe it myself

Suddenly I'm up on top of the world

It should have been somebody else

Believe it or not I'm walking on air

I never thought I could feel so free

Flying away on a wing and a prayer

Who could it be

Believe it or not it's just me

Just like the light of a new day

It hit me from out of the blue

Breaking me out of the spell I was in

Making all of my wishes come true

Believe it or not I'm walking on air

Flying away on a wing and a prayer

Who could it be

Believe it or not it's just me

Who could it be

Believe it or not it's just me

Fetchner here. This is Space Ranger.

- Go ahead, Space Ranger.
- Did you confirm my last decoding?

Uh, yes. In fact,
they're right here.

Uh, they just came down
from decryption.

You were right on it. Of course I was.

Those casualty figures should go
right to the State Department.

They're
bargaining chips.

Uh, maybe, but we can't act on your
information without source confirmation.

You're kidding. What does a guy have to do
to pull some credibility with you people?

Well, you got it with me,
but it's the others...

You know, the ones
that I have to report to.

I want to bring you in,
Space Ranger.

I wanna come in,
but with a contract and some perks.

With me working for you,
I could move the agency up years...

in U.V. spectroscopy alone.

All we gotta do is deal.

Listen to me, Space Ranger. You've
been patching into security satellites.

That makes you a target once you get
detected. You could be in danger.

Gimme a location, Central.
Let's go.

Unit Two. We have it narrowed
down to the Wilshire district.

It'll take a minute to pinpoint him.

Let's go, Central.
Let's go. Let's get this guy.

You're afraid the K.G.B.
doesn't like me eavesdropping on them, huh?

Th-That's not funny. The K.G.B.
could be onto you.

What about you guys, huh?
Listen, Fetchner.

You're not pulling
any surprises on me.

I figure you've got me located
within a half-mile radius.

Leaves open
a lot of possibilities.

We got him now. He's at a pay phone in
the parking lot at Sixth and La Brea.

Okay. I got that.

Ballantine. Yeah, this is Oscar.
Let me speak to Fetchner.

Hello? Hello?

Yeah. Hey, he burned us again. Scrammed
two pay phones together in a parking lot.

Damn. I thought
we had him this time.

We're just going to have to
try again when he calls back.

Space Ranger?

This could be a Soviet move to test our
countersecurity or our monitoring procedures.

With a code name
like "Space Ranger"?

I doubt it. Besides, he's given us some
good stuff right off of Soviet satellites.

Whoever this Space Ranger is, he must
be some kind of a communications genius.

He's a virtual genius.
I don't know why the guy's in my class.

Does he have
disciplinary problems?

No, not that I noticed.

"Given the ratio of intergalactic
light transponders...

"to the number of man-made
communications in space,

the likelihood of using additional
magnetized satellites is minimal."

Sounds like a genius to me.

Honey,
can you button me up?

Mm. That's pretty. Thank you.

You know, the guy's like an eccentric.
He doesn't seem to fit in anywhere.

He's always so lonely.
I feel sorry for him.

Mmm. Honey, you wearing
the suit to school?

Oh, yeah.
Bill was gonna come by...

with some fingerprints
he wants me to holograph.

Oh. Why don't you just invite
him over for dinner tonight?

I'm doing an entire gourmet
meal in the microwave oven.

Oh, honey, I'm afraid I gotta stay
after school tonight for a while.

Oh, that's all right. That's the beauty of
microwave cooking. It fits your schedule.

Uh...
How come you're gonna be late?

Well, sweetie, listen.

My class wants to enter
the science fair this year,

so I have to
supervise the setup.

You're kidding. Your class
is entering this year?

Yeah, isn't that amazing?
I mean, they really want to win.

This really bums me out.

I did everything
it says on the directions...

and the thing
up and dies on me.

I need this, right? Paco,
quit kidding around.

Joey worked hard
on this project.

Okay, okay.
Enough with the dead vegetables.

I got the winning project
right here.

Come on. What is this? Okay, everybody
gather round.

Okay, check this out here. This was great.

Watch the red queen, because it's gonna
disappear right before your eyes, all right?

All science, no luck.
Takes a buck.

I don't got a buck. Pick the red queen.
Go ahead.

Come on! Pick the chick! I don't wanna!

Come on, man! Why not? Hey! Come on.

Listen. We gotta get serious about this
project if we're gonna go to Hawaii.

Have you guys seen what
Myerson's class is doing?

Yeah, an atomic bomb or something.
But, hey, man, that ain't fair.

I mean, we never took no
chemistry or nothing like that.

Wait a minute. Tam... Tami,
you took a chemistry class, right?

Like that time when you
wanted to become a nurse.

Hey.
You listening to me? What?

Are you staring
at that geek again?

He's not a geek, Joey. He's a geek.

He's not a geek.Ooh. Joey's losing
his chick to a geek.

He's not a geek, Paco. Joey,
I got a great idea.

You should wear a pair of
thick glasses with the lenses...

Shut up. You too.

Since when do geeks
turn you on, huh? He doesn't turn me on.

Oh, yeah? Just never been in a class
with anyone so smart before.

So smart, huh?

I bet you wouldn't think
he was so smart if you'd seen...

the way he threw up when
we made him smoke the cigar.

Oh, you're sick, Joey! Yeah, well, I bet
he could grow an onion in a fishbowl.

Oooh! Wait a minute.

- Tami's right. That's it!
- Hey, man, what are you talking about?

Allen ought to be able to think of a pretty
good idea for the science fair, right?

Yeah, he should. He could be
our ticket to Hawaii.

Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah, man!
The guy's smart. Yeah, he could.

Hey, hey! Allen! Hey, Allen, buddy!

Pal! Hey, man.
Where you been?

Let's sit you right down here,
fella.Here. Have a seat.

Get rid of this, man. Come on.
Sit down, relax.

Hey, take it easy. Take your hat off.
Relax, relax.

We love you.
We love you. How ya doing?

I don't want to enter any science fair.
I just want to be left alone.

Come on, Allen. Oh, please, Allen.

Come on. Listen. Just think about it.
Wouldn't you like to be a part of this team?

Please? Yeah, you know, like
one of the guys, you know?

Last time you said that
you made me smoke a cigar!

Allen, how were we supposed to
know it was gonna make you sick?

Yeah, man, otherwise we'd have started
you out on something easier, you know?

Like, uh, cigarettes.Yeah.

Paco.Yeah. Cigarettes.

Morning, class. Hey, Mr. H..

Thank you very much. All right.
What's going on here, Allen?

All we're trying to do is make
Allen feel like part of the class.

Everybody please turn to
chapter 13 in the science books.

Well, Mr. H.,
see what happened is, uh,

you know, uh,
Joey's onion died.

So it's like we're kinda out of
a project for the science fair,

so we thought that maybe, you
know, Allen here could help us out.

Yeah. And you know, Allen, he's about
the smartest guy in the class anyway,

so we figured he could
do it for us.

- What do you say, Allen?
- They just want me to win the science fair for them.

No! No! That's
not true, Allen.

I really think
you're an interesting guy.

Really?

Mm. Yeah, yeah.
We all think you're, uh, interesting.

What do you think, Allen?
Allen, you got something...

for, uh, everybody here to
participate in for the science fair?

Well, I've got something
that I've been working,

but it's kind of
hard to explain.

Yeah, man! That's the kind of
stuff that always wins, you know...

Something
nobody understands.

Allen, you wanna
tell us about it?

It's a radio telescope for tracking
nongeosynchronous orbiting satellites.

I've designed a converter to make
prints out of coded signals...

Mostly communications transponders
used by individual nations.

Their orbits are elliptical,
usually polar.

And I've tracked
nearly 30 of them.

Well, gee.

That sounds pretty neat.

- A "nongeo" what?
- Nongeosynchronous.

Can that be ready for us
in time for the fair?

I've got most of it done.
It just has to be assembled and hooked up.

We'd have to pick it up. No problem.

We'll throw it in the trunk of the Piranha.
Zip in, zip back. We got it done.

This isn't a ghetto blaster we're talking
about. It's real technical material,

and it has to be
handled carefully.

All right, uh, well, Allen,
why don't we go back to your place,

pick it up, and bring it
back for the class to look at?

Mind if I go with you?
Uh, that would be okay, Mr. Hinkley.

Yea! Yea!

We'll have to take my van,
Mr. Hinkley.

It's designed to accommodate
sophisticated equipment.

Sophisticated equipment.
All right.

It's very nice.

Well, Allen,
I'm very impressed.

I mean, this is quite an
amazing setup you got back here.

Pretty neat, huh? Yeah.

Whoo!

Do you mind
if I ask you something?

You know that, uh,
my class is a special one,

set up for students with learning
disabilities, or, uh, problem students.

Uh-huh.
Yes, Mr. Hinkley, I know that.

Well, you certainly aren't a problem
student... not that I have noticed...

And... and you obviously
have no learning disabilities.

Do you have any idea why you might
have been placed in my class?

Everybody knows why a guy like me
would be in your class, Mr. Hinkley.

I'm a geek.

A geek?
Allen, you're not a geek.

Yes, I am. What would you call a guy
who throws up after he smokes a cigar?

Uh, gee, I don't know.
There must be a term for it.

Yeah.
It's called geek.

Tony and those guys
made me smoke a cigar.

I threw up.
I'm a geek.

Don't feel bad,
Mr. Hinkley.

After a while you sort of get used to it.
Then it's not so bad.

Allen, is your mom
or dad home? Uh, no.

Uh, I... I live
with my grandmother.

But, uh, she's at a senior
citizens convention in San Diego.

Come on in.
The equipment's in the backroom.

You live here? Yeah.
I live here.

Homey.

My goodness. Allen,
is all this stuff yours?

Yep. I'll take the receiver desk.
Would you take that, please?

You know these guys?

Uh... they're not friends
of my grandmother.

Aaah!

Ooh! Aaah!

Ohhh!

Allen!

Allen,
are you all right? I think so.

I lost my glasses.
Everything's real blurry... and red.

Oh, y-yeah.
That's so the traffic doesn't hit us.

Uh, uh,
can you see anything?

Hardly anything.

All right. Hold on to me and
I'll take you home, all right?

You gotta be careful.

No, Bill. I didn't have
any idea what was going on.

That's why I wanted you
to check it out,

because your common household
thieves don't go around...

wearing ties and jackets
and speaking in Russian.

Russian, that's right.

Well, I thought
it would intrigue you.

No, he's just
a student in my class.

His name is Allen Smith.

Fine. Well, you can let me know
what you find out over dinner.

Pam's whipping up a whole gourmet
meal, you know?

It's part of that
cooking class she's taking.

"Cooking
for the Career Woman."

Well, don't let her
hear you say that.

All right. Bye.

Okay, now, fix it over
there... those little bits.

Looks good. I'm gonna get the
professor and see what he thinks.

Sure. Hey, Allen, come here.
Check it out.

See if we did a good job,
all right?

What do you think? That's... That's fine.
Okay, the angle's good.

Okay. Set it outside the door,
facing the mountain.

Okay. Okay?

Hey, man,
he told me to do it. He did not.

Guys, guys, guys.
You wanna be careful?

It's just an umbrella.
Both of you can do it.

You take the umbrella,
Here. You take the cable.Ah.

Good.Yeah.

Hey, Allen. Allen?
I got this junction box here and I don't...

No, that's the signal moderator.
Just put that there.

Signal moderator. Yes. Okay,
what I want you to do is attach this here.

This is nuts.
Here we go.

All right, man!
Hawaii, here we come!

What are you talking about?
This is an umbrella we got here.

Hey, with all that stuff
we got in there?

If this don't win,
nothing will.

What are we gonna
see first, Allen?

Huh? What are we
gonna see first?

Oh, uh, weather satellites
over 20,000 feet up.

Wow. Really?

Hey, Allen,
we got it all set up.

Hey, Mr. H.! Come on over. We're just
about to see how Allen's gadget works.

There it is, directly
from the weather satellite.

It looks like
a TV weather report.

No, no, no Joey.
This isn't a TV weather report.

This is instantaneous.
It's happening right now.

It's being transmitted from a... a satellite
in this hemisphere, is that right?

I mean, this is the way
the Earth looks right now.

Wow. Is that it?
Just a bunch of clouds?

Why do I bother?

Hey, we'll see you
all here tomorrow.Okay.

Okay. Make sure you're here
early for the fair.

We will. Yeah, don't worry,
Mr. H..

Allen.

I am very, very impressed.
This is incredible.

Thank you,
Mr. Hinkley. Ready to go?

Sure. Follow me back in your van?

Okay. Okay, let's do it.

It's really nice of you to let me
stay over tonight, Mr. Hinkley.

Uh, but are you sure your wife
won't mind having me over?

Oh, no, no, no, no.
It's her pleasure, believe me.

She's taking these cooking classes, and
when she gets these homework assignments,

she likes to have people over so she can
try out new dishes on them, you know?

You don't mind if, uh,
you take the first bite, do you?

Teasing. Follow me.

This doesn't make any sense.

Okay. I press "time,"
"reset" and "cook."

Then I press "final reset"
and "activate."

Oh, come on, cook,
you stupid thing!

You're supposed to cook!

Pamela?

Ralph, I'm in here!

What are you doing?
Honey, it's not working.

Mmm. It smells good. This is Allen,
the student I was telling you about.

Hi.Hi, Allen.
It's nice to meet you.

I've got all this beautiful
food sitting out here,

and this dumb thing...
The lights won't even go on.

Did you press "reset"? Yes.

Then did you press "time"
and then "cook"? Yes.

Then did you press
"final reset"? Yes.

I pressed "final reset"
and then I pressed "activate."Hmm.

Then there must be a short.
Excuse me.

Mr. Hinkley, could I use
your Phillips, please?

Oh. Yes, okay. Screwdriver?

What are you going to do?

It's very simple. This is
a brand-new microwave.

It's still under warranty. That's okay.
Excuse me.

Honey, does he know
what he's doing? Don't worry.

Yep. Has a crossed wire...

in the program circuit leading
to the temperature gauge.

It's jamming your input
and message relay.Oh.

Uh-huh.

Ah! Look at that!

It's working,
the lights are going on.

Thank you very much, Allen. You're welcome,
Mr. Hinkley.

Thank you for letting me
stay here tonight, Mrs. Hinkley.

Oh. Well, thank you, Allen,
for fixing my oven. You're welcome.

- Mr. Hinkley, could I use your bathroom please?
- Absolutely.

U-turn right out here,
through the living room, it's on the left.

Thank you.

He's a genius, huh? Very smart.

Honey, wait till you see the
feast I am fixing up tonight.

This is fun, you know.

Boys and girls, anybody home?
In here, Bill!

Bill, I hope you're hungry,
'cause in just a few minutes...

you'll be able to sit down
to a complete gourmet meal,

thanks to the wonders
of modern science.

Oh, yeah. You're serving up the little skinny
chickens and the midget potatoes, huh?

Well, keep the tomatoes out of mine, now.

You don't have to eat them.
Okay, everybody, watch this.

Bill, did you get anything
on the information I gave you?

Ah, zip on those guys, Ralph. Uh, the
only story there is your kid, Allen Smith.

There is no Allen Smith. Well, there is
about 35 of them in the L.A. directory,

but none that fits his description...
Living at that address,

with a grandmother that's into
senior citizens conventions.

By the way, the address that you gave me...

Uh, that's a house that belongs
to the City Transit Authority.

It's, uh, condemned,
boarded up. What?

Look at this! They're
turning brown already.

So I think we ought to drop a full-court press
on this kid, squeeze the story out of him,

and, uh, you know, I mean, he could
be, uh, working with these agents.

He could be, uh,
a sleeper agent, you know?

All right. Now, Bill,
the kid's only 16.

I don't want to
alienate him. Well, yeah, but...

Ah! Look at that.
Dinner's ready.

Uh, counselor, why don't you
try a new cooking school?

That was in there for only
three and a half minutes.

That's the magic
of microwave cooking.

Ahhh. My third lesson.

Wonderful. Put it on hold, will you?
Or just on warm?

'Cause Ralph and me are gonna have a
little story conference with the kid here.

Not too long.

Look, Fetchner. I was just
starting to trust you guys.

You had no business sending
those gorillas in after me.

- It was a breach of faith.
- Listen to me, Space Ranger.

I had nothing to do with it,
but I warned you something could happen.

Now, play straight with me. I'm not buying
that, Fetchner. You know all about it.

Allen? Oh, hi, uh...

Hello?

I was trying to get in touch
with my grandmother.

Who doesn't exist.

Okay, Allen,
or whatever your name is,

you may be able to con your schoolteacher
here, but you can't con the F.B.I.

Now, you and me are gonna have
a little conversation. Let's go.

Take it easy
on him, Bill.

Hello? Hello?

Did we get a trace
on this yet? Almost.

Well, just as soon
as you get it, move.

Allen, we know you're
in some kind of trouble,

and Bill and I wanna help you,
but you've gotta be honest with us.

You could start by giving us
your real name. That'd help.

Allen Longstreth.

I've always hated it, because kids
used to call me "Allen Longbreath."

My formative years
were a real bummer.

I am just about ready
for you guys!

Is that why
you changed your name?

Ralph, will you punch up
your dimmer?

He changed his name
because he's hiding...

something from somebody.

Would you get off my case?

How do guys like him
get in the bureau anyhow?

All right, Allen.
Allen, okay, now you ran away from home,

and you've been
living alone ever since?

Yeah. I left home in Pomona
right before school started.

I just couldn't take any more
of my parents' harassment.

Let's face it. I'm not your ordinary kid.
We just couldn't relate.

Come on, everybody.
Wanna take your seats?

Honey, we'll be there
in a minute, all right?

How'd you get into that
abandoned house you're living in?

I knocked a few boards out
of the front window.

I worked in a county office
during the summer.

I had access to a lot of computers.
I found out about those abandoned houses,

and I figured I could stay there
for a while before anyone found out.

Then I enrolled in Whitney.

My one mistake in computer
programming landed me in your class.

I was supposed to be signed up
for Calculus with Binkley.

Huh. Binkley.

Come on, you guys! Dinner's ready.
Isn't anybody hungry?

Come on.
Let's go.

Look what I did.
Ta-da!

Allen. Bill.
Very, very nice.

Thank you. Those are the Russians!

Don't shoot!

- Don't shoot!
-

Hold it right there! C.I.A.!

Hey!
Longbreath, wait for me!

Go around the house!
Out, out, out!

Who are you guys, huh?

Oscar, C.I.A.

You're coming with us now,
Space Ranger.

You wanted to come in. Now you're in.

But until you tell us the truth, we're not
going to be able to help you, Space Ranger.

Listen. I've already told you, I'm not
Space Ranger, and I don't need any help.

I gotta tell you. I think that
red suit is a real nice touch.

I especially like the cape.

Is... Is that all wash-and-wear,
or do you have to get it dry-cleaned?

Listen. I've told you
a hundred times,

I am a high school teacher,
I'm putting on a science fair.

And this is a joke because I'm
entertaining the rest of the faculty.

Who were the guys that fired on
my men from inside your house?

- I don't know.
- I suppose you also don't know about Soviet code decryption...

or security satellite
interfacing either.

No, I don't. Listen to me, Space Ranger.

You have cracked into some
of the most sophisticated...

Soviet satellites
floating around up there.

You've also tapped into ours.

Now it's not that hard for anyone to
locate you by tracing your frequency.

That means
that if we could find you,

so can anyone else whose satellite
you might have intercepted.

Cooperate with us...

or things could become
very unpleasant for you.

If you're gonna keep him,
then you have to charge him.

Mr. Ballantine,
I'm Ralph Hinkley's attorney.

But you're also his wife.

That's beside the point.
It doesn't mean the judicial rules change.

Now what are you
charging him with?

Mrs. Hinkley, this is a matter concerning
the Central Intelligence Agency.

When we're finished questioning
him, then we'll let him go.

You have kept him here
all night.

How many questions does
my client have to answer? Thank you.

Excuse me.

This just came up
from the lab.

Those voice charts of the Space
Ranger and this guy don't match.

No, they sure don't.And his wife's
an attorney,

and she's out here beating
me with legal speeches.

I think we oughta let him go,
else we might have some trouble.

Okay, you can go.

Thanks.

Why did we spring him? You
got something up your sleeve?

No, he's not Space Ranger.
The voice graphs don't match.

But he knows who Space Ranger is,
'cause the calls came from his house.

I want him followed. Got it.

I'll use Burke and Babcock.
They can follow anything.

Good, 'cause anybody who can't stay
on a guy in red tights is a moron.

Did you bring my clothes?
Oh, yes, but I left them in the car.

Oh, great, great, great.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

That's all right. There's just
so much going on.

Listen, honey.
I know I'm gonna be followed.

So why don't you go downstairs,
get the car,

drive around the
corner and wait for me, okay?

Okay. Be careful.

Who is Space Ranger?

Well, I'm guessing
it's Allen.

I mean, they were talking about codes
and satellites and Soviets and stuff.

It probably all ties in with the radio
tracking device that Allen built.

Well, then did you
tell them about it? No.

No, no, no. I didn't have the heart. I want
to have a chance to talk to Allen first.

Oh, honey, well,
he's been with Bill all night,

so I don't think
it's been too easy on him.

Okay, that's it! I got you,
you dirty little rat! You're finished!

What... What are you doing?

Well, what are you doing? We're playing
Space Wars.

At 7:00 last night,
I was down 10 bucks.

I'm making a comeback.
Come on, play, kid.

Mr. Hinkley,
you knocked the door in.

Weak hinges, Allen.

Uh, yeah, Ralph, uh, you want to put
the door up? I got neighbors here.

What, you, you've been playing
video games all night long?

Well, what did you expect?

The kid was so nervous after that
shootout at the O.K. Hinkley Corral,

he threw up three times
and started to stutter.

So we stopped by his joint to get some
clothes, and he brought this thing along.

Well, anyway, it keeps him calm.
Where you been all night?

Well, Bill, I've been with the C.I.A.
answering questions about the Space Ranger.

Allen, you wanna tell us a little
bit about the Space Ranger?

I'm sure you know more than all three
of us here about the Space Ranger.

Okay, okay.

You're looking at the Space Ranger...
from Geeksville.

Allen, you've been making it real
difficult for a lot of people.

Who were those guys
that were chasing you today?

I think a couple
of K.G.B. turkeys.

K.G.B.? What are you
talking about, K.G.B.?

Allen, why?

It all has something to do with the... the
project he did for the science fair at school.

Well what did he build,
a nuclear sub?

It's just a homemade radio telescope I put
together from scrounged parts, that's all.

Yeah, scrounged parts that allow
him to decipher Soviet codes.

Look. I just got lucky with some prime-number
base codes off a Soviet satellite.

I wasn't trying to break into their system.
It just happened.

Allen, what is all this
Space Ranger business about?

It's my code name for when I'd call
the C.I.A. with the information.

All I wanted was a job. That's all I've
ever wanted... to work for the C.I.A.

I was just trying to gain a little
credibility with them, that's all.

Well, Allen, try gaining a little
credibility with us, all right?

Now you got
some real trouble here, man.

All right. Okay. Trouble right here
in River City!

Listen, Allen.
I'm an attorney.

I can help you,
but you have to be honest with us.

Now, you're a minor and we
can probably work this out.

Okay, boys and girls, uh, just,
uh, let's back off a second.

We're not just talking about sending Allen
to his room 'cause he's been a bad boy.

We're talking K.G.B., satellite trackers.

The first thing we have to do is find this
thing, whatever it is, the genius has built.

Where is it?

I wonder where Mr. H. Is.
It's getting close to 8:00.

Maybe he went out and bought
himself a Hawaiian shirt.

You know, you guys,
there is a chance that we might not win.

Nah. I looked at
all the other projects.

Most of 'em
look like Joey's dead onion.

This geek better make the game, or one
of us is gonna have to figure out...

how to pilot
this pile of test tubes.

Allen will be here.
I mean, who wouldn't?

Whatever this stuff is, it's something
to be proud of. Yeah? So are you.

The way you've been hitting on this
geek, it's sure making me crazy.

Joey, shut up.
I'm just being nice.

I mean, look.
He helped us out, didn't he?

Yeah, well, somebody better help us
out, 'cause, uh, here's Mr. Knight.

Yes. Hi, Mr. Knight.
How are you doing?

The entry for
Mr. Hinkley's class, huh? Mm-hmm.

Where is Mr. Hinkley? Uh, we expect him
any minute, sir.

Yeah? Well, I'm sorry.
We can't wait.

The Whitney High School Science
Fair rules book clearly states...

that all science fair entries must be
registered before the homeroom bell.

Yes, so I will need an explanation of your
project, its function and capabilities.

Oh, uh, this one here
is easy, Mr. Knight.

Uh, you see,
what it does, uh...

I mean, uh, its, uh,
functional capabilities are, uh...

Yes? What Paco
is trying to spit out,

is that the beauty of this
project is its simplicity.

In other words... It's like
growing an onion in a fish tank...

without any sunlight.Exactly.

Now, I know you're probably
asking the same questions I did.

Why did these plants
appear to grow more rapidly...

when given large audio doses
of Led Zeppelin...

as opposed to their rapid
deterioration when regular a.m.,

or more precisely,
Top-40 music is played?

The answer is quite simple,
really.

Did you ever wonder about
the structural resiliency...

of ultra-light
construction materials...

and their reflective qualities
pertaining to, like, heat and cold?

It's really fascinating. We traced Hinkley
to this school so he should be here.

We can only hope that
he leads us to Space Ranger.Yeah.

Punch.

Why didn't you just turn your contraption
over to the C.I.A., Longbreath?

See what I mean, Mr. Hinkley?
"Longbreath." Big joke! Ha ha!

All right. Bill, would you take
it easy on the guy, all right?

Allen, if you played it straight with the
C.I.A., the whole thing would have been easier.

You think the C.I.A. is gonna take a teenage
geek named Allen Longbreath seriously?

No way. Oh, come on, Allen.

You may have made
a few mistakes along the way,

but that satellite tracker you developed is
something you should be proud of... real proud.

Yeah, after they send me to reform school,
I'll be able to start my own fan club.

"Science Freaks
and Slide-Rule Geeks."

Maybe I'll even
have a newsletter.

Allen, come on. No one is gonna
send you to reform school.

Well, I wouldn't exactly
take that to the bank, Ralph.

Bill. All right,
but that satellite tracker...

goes to the C.I.A.
first thing, and, uh, young Longbre...

Longstreth here gets debriefed
and put on a short leash,

just in case he gets any bright ideas
about building a neutron bomb...

out of baling wire
and a couple of busted toasters.

Can you do something
with him?

I was just telling Clarence here
about my first science fair win.

I won the Whipply
Corporation Award...

for my work with
friction reduction...

in internal gear
sprockets development.

Now, I know that
doesn't seem like much...

in light of what Clarence
has put together here but...

Aw, Dad, get off it, huh? Oh, now,
Son, you should be proud of your work.

A solar-powered
attach� case.

Does Clarence here take
after his old man or what?

Uh, yes, I'm sure he
does, Mr. Mortner.

You'll excuse me?
Ah, Mr. Hinkley!

I'm so glad
you could make this fair.

I was just about to
disqualify your class's entry.

Well, that's Hinkley, so the guy
with him must be Space Ranger, huh?

- That's him.
- Tell me, Mr. Hinkley.

Just what is
your class's entry?

- Hold it! Don't move.
- The boy's coming with us.

You, identify yourself!

Maxwell, F.B.I.!
Who are you?

Henry Fetchner, C.I.A.

William Oscar, C.I.A., Maxwell.
Hold your fire.

Don't tell me
you're Space Ranger, Maxwell,

or you're
up to your hips in this.

Since when does
C.I.A. jurisdiction...

include science fairs
at a high school, huh?

Space Ranger?
Give me a break.

- What do you think I am, some kind of egghead?
- Where's Allen?

He was stepping
out of here fast, man,

when you guys started
throwing around all that lead.

And he had two goons
on his case.

Oscar, you better
call in backup.

Let's see
if we can't pick him up.

Now, you gotta
slip into the suit,

and grab something of Longbreath's,
and, uh, go for a holograph.

We got to stop 'em before he
wins the science fair in Moscow.

No! I don't want to go! No!

Oh, hello. I-I'm part of the class science
project. That's why I'm wearing this.

See, I'm a human antenna.
Uh, if you had a radio, I'd show you.

Uh, hold on to this
for a minute, will you? Sure.

Bill, Delaware Park.

They have Allen and they have
a chopper waiting for him.

Okay, kid, go get him
and talk me in. I'll do that.

Honey, would you do me a favor and make
sure the kids in here are taken care of?

Bill, come in, are you there? I found them.

Gotcha, kid. I wrap 'em up.
You grab the chopper.

You've got the wrong guy!
I'm just a high school kid! Let me go!

Shut up!

Come on. Get up. What happened?

You wait here.

Okay, hold it! F.B.I.!
Right there. Freeze it!

Freeze it, hot shot!
Now, throw 'em out. Toss 'em.

I mean it, baby!
Toss 'em!

Come on. Come on. All right.
Hold it right there. Freeze it.

What's the trouble?

Oh, him?
Well, what can I tell you?

When he was in high school,
he won his science fair too.

Ralph, I gotta tell you,
it's a total mystery...

how a card-carrying genius
like this Longstreth kid...

ever got stuck in your class
full of mental midgets.

Well, Bill,
I already told you it was a mistake.

But, you know, kids today aren't
just academically maladjusted.

There's all kinds of reasons why a
kid like that could be in my class.

Oh, yeah, sure. Grand theft auto,
rock and roll, surfing, all that.

You know, it must be real hard for a kid as
bright as Allen to find friends he can relate to.

Ah, come on.
He's only a genius.

Uh, him and me didn't have any
trouble communicating at all,

once he figured out
who was wearing the badge.

Well, my parents are coming in from
Pomona later this afternoon to pick me up,

and Mr. Knight said that
if I finish my studies,

he'll sponsor my application for the
special student program at Cal Tech.

They have a heck
of an astrophysics department.

Oh, yeah, astrophysics.
That was always one of my favorites.

- Bill, come on.
- Come on, Mr. Maxwell. No more "Longbreath" stuff.

Oh, okay. Oh, Bill's just giving you
a hard time, Allen.

As a matter of fact, he spoke to his buddies
down at the C.I.A. about you this morning.

And, they said,
if you finish high school...

and get a college degree,
and stay out of jail,

they figure maybe they
could use a guy like you...

in their special
reconnaissance program.

Really? Mm-hmm.

Well, like the lady says, you gotta
stay out of jail. No more spy stuff.

- What is all this?
- Well, Mr. H.,

uh, we all know
that if it wasn't for us,

uh, you know, trying to get Allen
to win this trip to Hawaii for us,

that, uh, he wouldn't have
got his invention trashed.

So... Ta-da!

We kicked in all the brainy
stuff we could find, and, uh...

So that way you can put together
another one of them genos... geos...

You know,
those "geno-syncrosis" things.

Yeah, and maybe next year
we can win that trip to Hawaii.

Gee, guys, uh, thanks a lot.

Now, are you gonna be able to put
something together with all this junk?

I mean, you got Mom's toaster, and Paco's old
amplifier, what's left of a video game...

Oh, and we got
the bottom of a telephone.

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