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1
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:18,409
Look at what's happened to me
2
00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:22,500
I can't believe it myself
3
00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:26,765
Suddenly I'm up on top of the world
4
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:32,684
It should have been somebody else
5
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:35,818
Believe it or not I'm walking on air
6
00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:40,170
I never thought I could feel so free
7
00:00:40,214 --> 00:00:44,479
Flying away on a wing and a prayer
8
00:00:44,522 --> 00:00:48,613
Who could it be
9
00:00:48,657 --> 00:00:52,748
Believe it or not it's just me
10
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:58,623
Just like the light of a new day
11
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:02,627
It hit me from out of the blue
12
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:05,935
Breaking me out of the spell I was in
13
00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:11,071
Making all of my wishes come true
14
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:16,467
Believe it or not I'm walking on air
15
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:20,602
I never thought I could feel so free
16
00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:24,780
Flying away on a wing and a prayer
17
00:01:24,823 --> 00:01:28,914
Who could it be
18
00:01:28,958 --> 00:01:33,354
Believe it or not it's just me
19
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:39,142
Who could it be
20
00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:43,799
Believe it or not it's just me
21
00:02:03,035 --> 00:02:06,256
He's got a heart as big as Texas
22
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:13,263
He's got a smile to warm the night
23
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:20,879
And he's a champion of
everything that's right
24
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:23,969
He's a good guy
25
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:33,457
He likes to set a good example
26
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:39,681
For all the children that he meets
27
00:02:41,944 --> 00:02:47,776
Ooh And so you know he
never lies or steals or cheats
28
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:49,778
'Cause he's a good guy Good guy
29
00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:59,309
Good guys used to be so easy to spot
30
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:06,098
Ooh, nowadays they're not
31
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:11,887
I'm lookin' for the good guys
32
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,545
Where could they be Where could they be
33
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:26,945
I'm lookin' for the good guys
34
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:30,993
Here's lookin' at me -
35
00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:37,042
- Yeah?
- Herb, it's Calvin.
36
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:39,001
Somebody just let themselves
into our office.
37
00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:41,351
You think it's Donato?
38
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:45,355
Could be. He's getting crazy. He acts
like he's been taking his own pills.
39
00:03:45,399 --> 00:03:48,924
What's he doing
in the office?
40
00:03:48,967 --> 00:03:51,187
You think he knows
we're keeping a file on him?
41
00:03:59,804 --> 00:04:03,634
Look. You're a lot closer to the office
than I am. You'd better get over there,
42
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:05,984
fast. I'm in my pajamas.
43
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:09,988
You look a lot better in your
pajamas than a pine box. Now go.
44
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:13,731
Okay, okay. I'm going.
45
00:04:48,244 --> 00:04:50,028
Cal, It's me. What's going on?
46
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:54,076
You're not gonna believe it. It's Mickey.
47
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:58,080
Mickey?
I can't figure that one.
48
00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:02,998
He just sneaked out
of the place. I'm not kidding.
49
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:09,961
Herb, I'd better call Donato. We'd
better put him aboard. He's gonna freak.
50
00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:13,704
Meet me at the factory
in 20 minutes.Right.
51
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:17,317
Maxwell,
Interstate Narcotics desk.
52
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:21,233
Yes, there's a truck
leaving from L.A. tomorrow.
53
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:23,192
I don't know
what warehouse it's from,
54
00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:26,500
but it, uh, has a load
of amphetamines on board.
55
00:05:26,543 --> 00:05:30,895
It's heading to Tucson
on Interstate Five.
56
00:05:30,939 --> 00:05:34,116
- Uh, who is this, please?
- John Q. Anonymous.
57
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:37,380
Aw, come on, pal. You wanna tie a knot
in their tail, let's be friends here.
58
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:39,687
What's your name?
59
00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:43,560
The truck is hauling stuff
for Hamburger Heaven.
60
00:05:43,604 --> 00:05:46,389
Now, look. There'll be
two case of reds in the back.
61
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:49,479
They'll be near the state line
somewhere around 10:00, 10:30.
62
00:05:59,228 --> 00:06:02,579
Look, Mr. Friago.
We're real sorry to disturb you.
63
00:06:02,623 --> 00:06:05,408
But we thought if we didn't tell
you about his being in there,
64
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:07,497
it might be
a big mistake.
65
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:11,632
Sidney. Come on, fellas.
We ain't talkin' about...
66
00:06:11,675 --> 00:06:14,199
the guy with the hamburger
on his chest?
67
00:06:14,243 --> 00:06:16,419
Captain What's-his-face? Yeah.
68
00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:20,989
Captain Bellybuster, our mascot.
The guy was always weird,
69
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:23,295
never wanting to be photographed
out of his costume...
70
00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:26,560
in case kids might find out
there wasn't any such guy.
71
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,692
See, what I don't
understand is...
72
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:32,174
what you're doin' with this
kind of info in your office...
73
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:36,178
Unless you two guys is lookin'
to trade me out of the picture.
74
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:39,399
Maybe cop a plea with the D.A.?
That's it, ain't it?
75
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:42,140
I loan you two goofs the money
to open these burger joints,
76
00:06:42,184 --> 00:06:46,318
and you pay me back by keeping
records on our private transactions...
77
00:06:46,362 --> 00:06:49,234
so if the ax falls,
you can turn state's evidence.
78
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:51,759
This makes me
very, very uptight.
79
00:06:51,802 --> 00:06:54,501
So, I'm gonna have Lew and Sidney
here work out on both your melons!
80
00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:57,068
No, no. Please don't.
D-D-Don't. We can explain.
81
00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:59,288
Trucking manifest sheets...
That's all we had in there.
82
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:01,638
This shipment
was one of them.
83
00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:04,859
You guys spend too much time
around hamburger patties.
84
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:07,731
You think I just come in
from Duluth, huh?
85
00:07:07,775 --> 00:07:11,169
You keep trucking invoices in
a file cabinet not a mini-safe.
86
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:14,434
Look. Maybe Mickey was just in
there getting a spare costume.
87
00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:16,479
Maybe he wasn't
into the safe.
88
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,699
We just thought
you should know.
89
00:07:18,742 --> 00:07:22,442
Your interest rate
just doubled. Oh, come on.
90
00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:25,314
Hey, we got stiff rates
for rat finks.
91
00:07:25,357 --> 00:07:28,578
You and Mr. Palm Springs here.
You don't like it?
92
00:07:28,622 --> 00:07:32,234
I can always arrange for a little
street surgery from the guys.
93
00:07:32,277 --> 00:07:34,845
You take your pick.
94
00:07:34,889 --> 00:07:39,110
Yeah, you got Warfel
and 10 seconds.
95
00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:41,635
I'm pushin' a deadline here.
Yeah, it's me.
96
00:07:41,678 --> 00:07:44,507
Hey! Hey, ya, Captain.
You got it?
97
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:48,642
Yeah. I-5 in the morning.
I called the feds.
98
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:52,123
They'll probably wait till
the truck passes into Nevada.
99
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:55,257
Hey, thanks, bunkie.
I'll be at the state line with a camera.
100
00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:59,217
Great.
101
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:05,180
This guy was sellin' pills in the
student store. I couldn't believe it.
102
00:08:05,223 --> 00:08:08,052
He was sellin' it in candy
bags and wrappers and things.
103
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:12,317
Ah, Carlisle's got me on this
Interstate Narcotics desk.
104
00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:14,276
Chasing trucks.
Would you belive that?
105
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:16,384
With my kill record,
I oughta be droppin' a hammer...
106
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,498
on the big, red
mean machine.
107
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,804
Instead of that...
108
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:23,938
I'm playing squat tag with a
hamburger truck. It's embarrassing.
109
00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:26,941
Damage these guys do in school to
the students, it's unbelievable.
110
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:29,117
I'd like to see all these
dealers put behind bars.
111
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,206
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, trouble is...
112
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,469
just a truckload of dope
doesn't mean anything.
113
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,690
If we could find the factory that makes
that stuff, that would be worth doin'.
114
00:08:41,085 --> 00:08:42,783
There it is! Huh?
115
00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:49,441
Come on. Here.
116
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:08,504
The only thing
I don't understand, Bill,
117
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,743
is why do we have to come way
out here to make the bust?
118
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:13,857
Uh, well, we gotta let 'em get
the load across state lines.
119
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:17,513
Then it's definitely a federal
bust and that's my bailiwick.
120
00:09:29,307 --> 00:09:32,484
Aha! And there it is right there.
Okay, let's go get 'em.
121
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:34,574
Yeah, let's get federal.
122
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:06,257
You, turkey!
Pull it over right there!
123
00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:16,354
- Pull over!
- No way.
124
00:10:23,579 --> 00:10:26,234
Your turn.
Do your business.
125
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:28,453
Get it together.
126
00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:36,331
Just hold it steady.
I'm going out.
127
00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:39,377
Oh! Be careful.
Don't wreck a door on me now. Be careful!
128
00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:52,434
Way to go, Ralph!
129
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:02,574
Okay, F.B.I. You guys are busted.
Get down out of there!
130
00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:04,315
Right now! Out!
131
00:11:09,494 --> 00:11:11,627
What's goin' on
here, man? Come over here.
132
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:16,414
What'd we do? Back of the truck.
Back of the truck!
133
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,901
Now, open it up. I ain't got the key.
134
00:11:24,945 --> 00:11:26,990
They got it at the
warehouse in Tucson.
135
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:29,689
Oh, that's too bad.
Ralph, take if off of there.
136
00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:37,000
- It's empty.
- Who are you?
137
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:39,133
I don't believe it,
a bum steer.
138
00:11:39,176 --> 00:11:41,502
Well, I called the C.H.P., kid.
You'd better get out of here.
139
00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:43,566
Hit the silk.
I'll pick you up down the road. Right.
140
00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:49,578
I don't believe this.
141
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:05,159
This is gonna be great, hon.
I'll make a duck liver dip.
142
00:12:05,202 --> 00:12:07,552
Honey, this is
a school dance.
143
00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:09,476
So? You're head of the
hors d'oeuvres committee.
144
00:12:09,511 --> 00:12:11,774
Whatever happened
to cookies and... punch?
145
00:12:11,818 --> 00:12:15,647
Don't worry.
We'll stay inside your $20 budget.
146
00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:18,389
- Oh, no!
- Oh, yeah.
147
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:22,089
- Oh, no!
- Ralph, what are you talking about?
148
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:26,571
Oh, no.
149
00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:28,660
I'm finished.
150
00:12:34,841 --> 00:12:37,844
Burger alert! Burger alert!
Come in, Capt. Bellybuster.
151
00:12:37,887 --> 00:12:40,194
Do you read me?
152
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:43,763
Loud and clear!
Hey, burger cadets,
153
00:12:43,806 --> 00:12:47,201
don't forget the opening
of our new store in Tarzana.
154
00:12:47,244 --> 00:12:51,379
Come over for a belly-full of
juicy, belly-busting burgers.
155
00:12:51,422 --> 00:12:54,164
See you there!
Hamburger Heaven...
156
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:57,994
And there he goes.
As graceful as me in the early days.
157
00:12:58,038 --> 00:13:01,389
Maybe he has an instruction book.
More likely a recipe book.
158
00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:05,262
You were right! You were right.
It's right here.
159
00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:07,806
Right here in the middle of
dead-center, front page. Look at that.
160
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:10,504
I know. I've got one of my own right here.
All right? It's terrible.
161
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:13,053
Lucky your face was turned away.
You can almost see your mouth.
162
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:16,360
I know. If the guy's got this
picture, he probably has more.
163
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:18,493
Did you see
the closing caption?
164
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:20,669
"Identity of hero
revealed tomorrow."G...! Boy!
165
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,932
I've been thinking about
this and I'm positive,
166
00:13:22,976 --> 00:13:25,084
this creep that took these
pictures, you and me were set up.
167
00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:27,545
Well, I know. That's what
Pam and I were talking about.
168
00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:29,634
You get a hot tip about
a truck full of speed,
169
00:13:29,678 --> 00:13:31,636
we get out there,
there's nothing in it.
170
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:33,856
Warfel's probably sitting
in the bushes with a camera.
171
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,163
That's my scenario
exactly. What are we going to do?
172
00:13:36,206 --> 00:13:39,403
We gotta stop this, Bill, before Ralph ends
up bending spoons on The Merv Griffin Show.
173
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:41,646
He'll end up more recognizable
than Captain Bellybuster.
174
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:45,607
- Captain what?
- You know, the guy on the hamburger commercials.
175
00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:48,784
He flies like Ralph.
He's got a suit and cape and everything.
176
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,134
Yeah, you know,
wires and mirrors.
177
00:13:51,178 --> 00:13:53,745
Who cares about that stuff?
Give me a break.
178
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:56,724
Boys and girls, if it ever gets out about
the suit, I'm gonna tell you what happens.
179
00:13:56,748 --> 00:14:00,535
The first thing that happens is our
government drops a net on the three of us.
180
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:03,514
You, Ralph, you're gonna wind up in a
steel cell someplace in deepest Arizona,
181
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:07,020
while the eggheads from the Pentagon try to
figure out what you can do with the suit.
182
00:14:07,063 --> 00:14:10,719
And since there's no answer to that, they're
gonna take the suit and lock it up...
183
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:13,113
and never let the three
of us out ever.
184
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:17,813
Because they're gonna be scared to death that
the commies get their hands on this thing.
185
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,729
So, the whole thing goes in the
dustbin for the next 50 years,
186
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:24,689
and we wind up packin' parachutes
in a room with no windows.
187
00:14:24,733 --> 00:14:28,737
I don't believe
it's that bad. It is that bad, believe it.
188
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:31,305
Ralph's chances of makin' spoons
bend onThe Griffin Show...
189
00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:34,743
are about as good as mine are of
dancin' with the Russian Ballet.
190
00:14:34,786 --> 00:14:37,920
Warfel, Bruce.
Warfel, okay, Daily Galaxy. Got 'em.
191
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:41,271
Now, let's go stuff this guy and
mount him over the fireplace. Come on!
192
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:43,970
Warfel's probably a reject
from a decent newspaper.
193
00:14:44,013 --> 00:14:47,887
Bill's right, you know.
I'm afraid so, Ralph.
194
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:59,333
Yeah, that's it.
195
00:15:00,421 --> 00:15:04,251
Okay, you're gonna
get this Mickey guy.
196
00:15:04,294 --> 00:15:08,429
You bring 'em out here. We take him
uptown and bury him in a shoe box.
197
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:12,868
Then we bop this reporter
guy, this Warfel character.
198
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,131
Got me? Yes, sir.
199
00:15:15,175 --> 00:15:17,568
Okay, what are you waiting for?
Let's do it.
200
00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:48,512
I've been having some
trouble with the distributor.
201
00:15:48,556 --> 00:15:50,732
Hey, you're losin' your
clutch, too, kiddo.
202
00:15:50,775 --> 00:15:53,175
Well, we could've taken your
car, but it's always out of gas.
203
00:15:53,213 --> 00:15:55,737
Who is this Bruce Warfel, anyway?
I've never heard of him.
204
00:15:55,780 --> 00:15:58,783
He's a very famous reporter,
if you read those scandal sheets.
205
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:02,004
How do you know?
You don't read that garbage, do ya?
206
00:16:02,048 --> 00:16:04,441
Uh... I'm shocked with you.
207
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:06,791
Standing on
the checkout line.
208
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,838
We're gonna Abscam those bums someday.
I'll do it personally.
209
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:11,666
Yeah, hello, there. Yes?
210
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:13,973
We need to see,
uh, Bruce, uh, Warfel.
211
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:18,586
He's with the Galaxypalmist and he can't
be disturbed or he'll miss his deadline.
212
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:21,458
Oh? Oh, well,
this is official government business.
213
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:23,591
So, we're gonna disturb him
anyway, aren't we?
214
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:25,767
My exact thoughts.
215
00:16:25,810 --> 00:16:29,118
He's in Linotype,
down the hall to the right.Okay.
216
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:31,207
Thanks for the reading.
217
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:34,994
Liz and Dick remarry, you got an extra 100.
All right, kid.
218
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:38,258
Ralph, let me do
the talking.
219
00:16:38,301 --> 00:16:40,564
We're gonna spike this guy into
concrete, no problem.
220
00:16:43,045 --> 00:16:45,743
Warfel? Maxwell, F.B.I.
221
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:50,400
You're the guy.
You're the two guys.
222
00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:53,273
You got big problems
here, Bruce.Yeah.
223
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:57,886
Well, look. We can't talk here.
Come on.
224
00:16:57,929 --> 00:16:59,714
Say, that's quite an act
you got there, kid.
225
00:16:59,757 --> 00:17:01,803
I never seen anything
like it.
226
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:05,937
Mr. Warfel, please,
you cannotprint anything more about me.
227
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,896
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
kid, look.Please.
228
00:17:07,939 --> 00:17:10,116
Let me get to paragraph one.
See, I'm a reporter.
229
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:12,181
Now, I gotta admit,
my mind was bent a little yesterday...
230
00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:16,339
because I move on a tip on drug running
and there you are flying around and all.
231
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:18,341
I went home and drank
a whole bottle of scotch.
232
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:20,667
And I almost had myself convinced
I was dreaming, but then...
233
00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:25,087
Then I got my stills and I
knew I had seen what I seen.
234
00:17:25,131 --> 00:17:27,089
There you are in your
little red whatsit.
235
00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:29,222
So, I, uh,
I run the story,
236
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:31,528
and I put in that line
about more to come tomorrow,
237
00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:36,229
hoping that it would draw
you guys in and bingo!
238
00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:40,450
Now, what seems
to be the problem?
239
00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:45,803
You see, Mr. Warfel,
this suit is experimental.
240
00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:49,720
It's kind of a secret weapon
being developed by the air force.
241
00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:53,333
Baloney, baloney.
The air force is not runnin' around...
242
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:56,988
tryin' to stop a hamburger truck
with a box of reds in the back.
243
00:17:57,032 --> 00:18:01,776
I play hardball. The First Amendment of
the good old Constitution is on my side.
244
00:18:01,819 --> 00:18:05,780
Now you try and muffle the press and
you're gonna choke on Supreme Court writs.
245
00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:08,783
There is nothing, and I
repeat, nothing you can do...
246
00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:10,872
to stop me from printing
the rest of my pictures.
247
00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:16,312
Uh, Ralph, I think this gent
needs a demonstration.
248
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:20,882
Oh.
249
00:18:20,925 --> 00:18:25,060
That is oneof his
parlor tricks, Bruce.
250
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:28,803
You ought to see him atomize a
high-rise or turn a flip-top like you...
251
00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:30,805
into a six-foot
charcoal briquet.
252
00:18:30,848 --> 00:18:33,895
How'd you like to see that one, Bruce?
We're not kiddin' here!
253
00:18:33,938 --> 00:18:37,290
All right. On the other hand,
I don't have to print all the news, right?
254
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:40,945
You've made the right decision, Bruce.
You see this is bigger than all of us.
255
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:44,166
All right, all right, look.
I'm not Woodward or Bernstein.
256
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:47,952
I got no journalistic integrity
when it comes to saving mytuchus.
257
00:18:47,996 --> 00:18:51,869
All right, the First Amendment
is a fool's paradise, besides.
258
00:18:51,913 --> 00:18:55,395
There was an anonymous call,
it was an obvious scam, all right?
259
00:18:55,438 --> 00:18:57,962
- Right.
- Good.
260
00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,095
Would you excuse me?
I've gotta get back to work.
261
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,184
Now, Bruce. Sir?
262
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:06,057
If you turn around on this we're gonna
drop on ya like a ton of buckwheat.
263
00:19:06,101 --> 00:19:08,190
No, sir, don't worry,
because when this story...
264
00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:10,714
at the bottom I'm putting
"3-0"... over and out.
265
00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:14,414
Finis. Punta e basta. Okay?
That's the way to talk.
266
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,590
I told you he
was gonna be cooperative.Okay.
267
00:19:16,633 --> 00:19:19,854
I don't know, Bill.
Warfel made a pretty fast U-turn.
268
00:19:19,897 --> 00:19:22,073
I think this guy's
conning us, Bill.
269
00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:24,859
I don't look forward to ending
up in a room with no windows.
270
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:28,079
Ah, come on, Ralph. You torched his
tape recorder and he fell apart.
271
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:31,605
Under all the wise guy stuff,
this bird is a tower of lemon Jell-O.
272
00:19:31,648 --> 00:19:34,651
No problem. Case closed.
I promise. Trust me.
273
00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:37,785
Well, Agent Maxwell.
274
00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:40,918
You wanna try
and explain this?
275
00:19:40,962 --> 00:19:44,095
You certainly have stirred up the
dust this morning, haven't you?
276
00:19:44,139 --> 00:19:47,360
Don't strain your eyeballs, Billy.
I'll give you the condensed version.
277
00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:52,974
This guy has photographs of you with some
gooney-bird in red tights and a cape.
278
00:19:53,017 --> 00:19:55,150
The photo inset
is on page 10.
279
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,564
It's right under the story of the Kansas
farmer who took a spaceship to Witch Mountain.
280
00:19:58,588 --> 00:20:01,722
"F.B.I. Attempts Cover-up
of Flying Man."
281
00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:06,248
"Agent William Maxwell threatens
reporter in attempted whitewash."
282
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:09,120
"Flying man secret weapon,"
agent says.
283
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:12,167
I didn't say that.
Pam sai...
284
00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:18,217
Well, Bill,
I think we finally got something...
285
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,089
to take upstairs to the
old head-basket ward.
286
00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:26,877
Well, no. Remember,
I was on the, uh,
287
00:20:26,921 --> 00:20:29,097
th-th-the Interstate
Narcotics desk.
288
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:31,969
You remember where you put me?
We got an anonymous call.
289
00:20:32,013 --> 00:20:35,103
Uh, I don't know who it was.
It was anonymous.
290
00:20:35,146 --> 00:20:39,629
They said there was a hamburger truck
full of amphetamines out on the I-5.
291
00:20:39,673 --> 00:20:41,936
So, what we... Bill.
292
00:20:41,979 --> 00:20:45,418
I'm bored already.
Let me give you a little piece of advice.
293
00:20:45,461 --> 00:20:47,942
If you don't mind it.
294
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:53,687
What I would do, Bill, is I would
produce this guy in the red tights!
295
00:20:53,730 --> 00:20:56,429
- Wha...
- And I would be prepared to prove...
296
00:20:56,472 --> 00:20:58,996
to the psychiatric
review board that he flies...
297
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,955
and lifts trucks and stuff.
298
00:21:00,998 --> 00:21:04,393
'Cause if you don't, Bill,
I've got a terrible feeling...
299
00:21:04,437 --> 00:21:06,980
you're gonna find yourself in a
padded room with a box of crayons.
300
00:21:07,004 --> 00:21:11,661
Well, there's a perfectly reasonable and
rational explanation for all this stuff.
301
00:21:11,705 --> 00:21:16,362
Uh, obviously, maybe, I'm just a
little thin on details right now, but...
302
00:21:16,405 --> 00:21:18,712
Bill, uh, are those
your current cases?
303
00:21:18,755 --> 00:21:20,757
Yeah. Oh, yeah,
you said you wanted to...
304
00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:24,108
Relieve you of all extra
responsibilities so you could devote...
305
00:21:24,152 --> 00:21:26,328
your full time and attention...
306
00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:30,593
to finding this clown
in the tights who flies.
307
00:21:30,637 --> 00:21:35,076
- Uh, that's very decent of you, sir.
- Least I could do.
308
00:21:37,992 --> 00:21:42,257
Good hunting, soldier.
309
00:21:44,215 --> 00:21:46,305
You guys have
anything to do?
310
00:21:48,132 --> 00:21:51,135
Well, old Bruce really
did it to us this time.
311
00:21:51,179 --> 00:21:53,137
Did you read
the closing caption?
312
00:21:53,181 --> 00:21:55,749
"Tomorrow Revealing
Pictures of Hero."
313
00:21:55,792 --> 00:21:58,621
Carlisle's read it.
The whole building has read it, I think.
314
00:21:58,665 --> 00:22:03,017
I'm up for a psychiatric review tomorrow
morning. I'm hanging on a thread.
315
00:22:03,060 --> 00:22:05,062
Hang on,
both of you.
316
00:22:05,106 --> 00:22:07,413
Tomorrow's paper doesn't go
to press for another hour.
317
00:22:07,456 --> 00:22:11,939
- Yeah, where is your boss, Warfel?
- You never give up, do you?
318
00:22:11,982 --> 00:22:15,203
- They don't pay me to give up. What about an answer?
- He went down to Linotype.
319
00:22:15,246 --> 00:22:18,162
Uh, okay. Come on.
320
00:22:22,645 --> 00:22:25,213
Hold it.
321
00:22:25,256 --> 00:22:28,956
Get down!
322
00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:47,191
Davidson, what's happened?
You okay?
323
00:22:47,235 --> 00:22:50,369
Honey, you all right? Yeah. Yeah,
I'm not hit. I ducked and hit my head.
324
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:52,414
That's all. Let me take a look.
325
00:22:52,458 --> 00:22:55,896
No, I must have bobbed
when I should've weaved. What?
326
00:22:55,939 --> 00:23:00,770
Captain Bellybuster.
327
00:23:02,424 --> 00:23:05,427
Captain...
What did he say? Captain Bellybuster.
328
00:23:05,471 --> 00:23:08,387
That's supposed
to be a killer? That's what I got.
329
00:23:08,430 --> 00:23:11,172
Well, we gotta get out of here
and find Captain What's-his-face.
330
00:23:11,215 --> 00:23:13,261
Let's go. Can you...
Can you walk?
331
00:23:13,304 --> 00:23:16,003
I think so. Get your clothes.
Right.
332
00:23:22,226 --> 00:23:24,272
Oh, brother. Get in.
I'm gonna drive.
333
00:23:24,315 --> 00:23:26,100
Ralph, get rid of that cop.
Do something.
334
00:23:26,143 --> 00:23:28,319
I'll meet you later.Yeah.
335
00:23:28,363 --> 00:23:30,583
Go on. I'll catch up.
336
00:23:37,677 --> 00:23:40,636
- Hold it right there. Don't move.
- Look!
337
00:23:50,690 --> 00:23:52,996
There he is, Bill.
Look at him. I can't look at him.
338
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,259
I'm drivin'.
What's he doin'?
339
00:24:04,312 --> 00:24:06,575
I don't know.
Looks like he's trying something new.
340
00:24:06,619 --> 00:24:10,753
Oh, that's always disaster.
What is he doing?
341
00:24:10,797 --> 00:24:13,495
Just like O.J. Simpson.
342
00:24:13,539 --> 00:24:16,280
Ha! That's fine.
You can be real funny,
343
00:24:16,324 --> 00:24:19,153
but, uh, those guys
saw us... they all did.
344
00:24:19,196 --> 00:24:23,853
We're gonna be tied to that guy's murder.
I'm tellin' ya.
345
00:24:32,775 --> 00:24:35,561
We want Captain Bellybuster!
346
00:24:35,604 --> 00:24:41,175
We want Captain Bellybuster!
We want Captain Bellybuster!
347
00:24:41,218 --> 00:24:43,917
We want Captain Bellybuster!
348
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,920
Well, you said
he was gonna show.
349
00:24:46,963 --> 00:24:50,489
You know, Herb, I hate to be
taken for some kind of scungili.
350
00:24:50,532 --> 00:24:52,969
I'm tellin' you, Mr. Donato.
I really thought he would.
351
00:24:53,013 --> 00:24:56,669
You don't know this guy like I do.
He really lives for these kids.
352
00:24:56,712 --> 00:24:59,410
Even if his life
depended on it?
353
00:24:59,454 --> 00:25:01,848
Hooray! Here he is!
354
00:25:04,241 --> 00:25:06,243
Bellybuster!
355
00:25:06,287 --> 00:25:09,551
Did I hear someone summon
Captain Bellybuster?
356
00:25:09,595 --> 00:25:13,207
You bet, kids.
357
00:25:13,250 --> 00:25:15,383
Okay, who wants
their picture taken...
358
00:25:15,426 --> 00:25:17,646
with Captain Bellybuster?
359
00:25:17,690 --> 00:25:21,258
I'd have never believed it.
The guy's dumber than he looks.
360
00:25:22,956 --> 00:25:25,306
Smile.
361
00:25:27,961 --> 00:25:30,833
I don't believe this.
I cannot believe this is happening to me.
362
00:25:30,877 --> 00:25:33,706
I mean, the secretary is gonna
put me together with my shield.
363
00:25:33,749 --> 00:25:36,273
Now, we got a motorcycle cop
who can put me together with...
364
00:25:36,317 --> 00:25:38,841
a looney tune in
red jammies and a cape.
365
00:25:38,885 --> 00:25:40,843
Running away from the
scene of the crime.
366
00:25:40,887 --> 00:25:43,324
We're looking down the barrel
of a murder rap here, kids.
367
00:25:43,367 --> 00:25:45,544
Honey, you want a doctor
to look at that? Oh, no, hon.
368
00:25:45,587 --> 00:25:48,895
It's just a little bump. Besides,
I'd hate to have to explain to a doctor...
369
00:25:48,938 --> 00:25:51,351
how I bumped my head ducking a
bullet at the scene of a murder.
370
00:25:51,375 --> 00:25:53,508
Which we're probably now
wanted for, by the way.
371
00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:56,293
You know, Warfel had plenty of
time to get that article in.
372
00:25:56,337 --> 00:26:00,820
There's probably a full-faced
shot of me in tomorrow's issue.
373
00:26:00,863 --> 00:26:04,388
On top of everything else, the only clue
we got to this mess is another lunatic...
374
00:26:04,432 --> 00:26:06,565
in red jammies and a cape.
375
00:26:06,608 --> 00:26:08,610
Well, I didn't mean that
the way it sounded, Ralph.
376
00:26:08,654 --> 00:26:10,699
Thanks. Thanks. Just a slip
of the tongue.
377
00:26:10,743 --> 00:26:14,964
- Where is this grand opening you're talking about?
- I don't know, near Reseda.
378
00:26:15,008 --> 00:26:19,665
What would Captain Bellybuster have
to do with some phony narcotics bust?
379
00:26:19,708 --> 00:26:23,320
I don't know. Maybe it's Burger
Heaven's new offering of the week.
380
00:26:23,364 --> 00:26:27,281
A special: Buy a Bellybuster
and get a bag of dope...
381
00:26:27,324 --> 00:26:30,240
in your party pack... the
ultimate in junk food.
382
00:26:30,284 --> 00:26:32,982
You know, actually,
Burger Heaven is not too bad.
383
00:26:33,026 --> 00:26:36,159
They serve their hamburgers on whole
wheat buns with alfalfa sprouts.
384
00:26:36,203 --> 00:26:38,335
The Bellybuster is tremendous.
Have you had it?
385
00:26:38,379 --> 00:26:40,816
Oh, I can't handle the big ones.
I go for the Tummy Tingler.
386
00:26:40,860 --> 00:26:42,992
That's a good one.
You ever try that, Bill?
387
00:26:43,036 --> 00:26:45,386
It is definitely the
first order of business...
388
00:26:45,429 --> 00:26:47,349
as soon as we can solve
this murder rap business.
389
00:26:50,478 --> 00:26:52,611
There he is,
Captain Bellybuster.
390
00:26:52,654 --> 00:26:57,006
...Captain Bellybuster hold you.
There we go. Okay, Dad.
391
00:26:57,050 --> 00:27:00,096
Oh, boy,
one of those guys.
392
00:27:00,140 --> 00:27:03,796
Okay, well, let's wait till
he gets done with the kids.
393
00:27:03,839 --> 00:27:08,452
All right, kids.
I just got a burger alert from Glendale.
394
00:27:08,496 --> 00:27:10,672
Let's hear it.
395
00:27:10,716 --> 00:27:14,458
Go get him.
396
00:27:18,332 --> 00:27:21,161
Well, that means
I've gotta lift off.
397
00:27:21,204 --> 00:27:26,427
But don't forget, kids, a burger alert
from Glendale means that I'll be back soon.
398
00:27:26,470 --> 00:27:28,429
And while I'm gone,
I want you to all...
399
00:27:28,472 --> 00:27:31,780
to obey your parents and your teachers.
400
00:27:31,824 --> 00:27:35,871
Say, "please" and "thank
you," and eat nutritiously,
401
00:27:35,915 --> 00:27:39,179
then, one day, you'll
grow up to be like who?
402
00:27:39,222 --> 00:27:43,096
Captain Bellybuster! You bet.
403
00:27:45,402 --> 00:27:48,841
If you guys are interested in what the jolly
captain has to say, you'd better move.
404
00:27:50,016 --> 00:27:52,758
Hey! I have to go
to Glendale!
405
00:27:52,801 --> 00:27:55,064
Wait a minute.
Look at that.
406
00:27:55,108 --> 00:27:56,936
What do you guys want?
407
00:27:59,242 --> 00:28:01,418
I don't need a limo.
I've got my car in the back.
408
00:28:06,597 --> 00:28:09,470
Ralph!
409
00:28:09,513 --> 00:28:12,647
Ralph! You'd better hit
the silk as quick as you can.
410
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:14,823
I'm gonna follow with the counselor.
All right.
411
00:28:14,867 --> 00:28:17,521
Hey, you're not...
Captain Bellybuster!
412
00:28:17,565 --> 00:28:20,611
You're right, I'm not Captain Bellybuster.
I'm Tummy Tingler.
413
00:28:20,655 --> 00:28:22,439
You'll be seeing me
a lot in his commercials.
414
00:28:22,483 --> 00:28:24,833
- I've gotta go.
- I got a burger alert.
415
00:28:30,012 --> 00:28:32,623
What are you
gonna do to me? Shut up.
416
00:28:33,799 --> 00:28:36,323
Go through the park
and head for the docks.
417
00:28:39,935 --> 00:28:42,721
Where did you get this thing,
in a box of cornflakes?
418
00:28:42,764 --> 00:28:44,766
We're never gonna
catch those guys.
419
00:28:46,725 --> 00:28:49,205
There's Ralph. It looks like
he's headed towards the park.
420
00:28:49,249 --> 00:28:51,338
Yeah. Yeah.
421
00:29:27,940 --> 00:29:30,203
I'll get him!
422
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:37,340
Stay here, Davidson. Why not?
423
00:29:53,008 --> 00:29:55,619
No! Please!
424
00:29:55,663 --> 00:29:58,023
Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
425
00:30:01,364 --> 00:30:03,976
Oh, hey, who are you?
426
00:30:04,019 --> 00:30:06,152
I'm not one of those
guys who grabbed you.
427
00:30:06,195 --> 00:30:09,982
I can't see to good without my glasses.
Come on. Let's go find them.
428
00:30:10,025 --> 00:30:12,723
Over here.
Watch the curb.
429
00:30:15,204 --> 00:30:18,077
Oh, no.
430
00:30:21,994 --> 00:30:24,213
Bill, are you all right?
431
00:30:24,257 --> 00:30:27,303
Just a little cardiac
seizure. No problem.
432
00:30:27,347 --> 00:30:30,567
How can a guy that looks like
he's smuggling basketballs...
433
00:30:30,611 --> 00:30:32,613
run so fast?
434
00:30:32,656 --> 00:30:34,571
Who are you? He's a friend.
Maxwell,
435
00:30:36,747 --> 00:30:38,880
Oh, thank God.
436
00:30:38,924 --> 00:30:40,969
Hey, listen.
Have I got a lot to tell you.
437
00:30:41,013 --> 00:30:44,973
Yeah? Like why you phoned
in a phony drug shipment.
438
00:30:45,017 --> 00:30:47,758
Phony drug shipment?
Didn't you stop the truck on I-5?
439
00:30:47,802 --> 00:30:50,849
Yeah, we stopped it.
All we got was an empty truck...
440
00:30:50,892 --> 00:30:53,112
and a near-miss case
of pneumonia.
441
00:30:53,155 --> 00:30:55,917
Hey, Bill, take it easy on the guy,
all right? He's scared and confused.
442
00:30:55,941 --> 00:30:58,073
Oh, hey, they must've
changed the schedule...
443
00:30:58,117 --> 00:31:00,249
when they found out
I knew about the run.
444
00:31:00,293 --> 00:31:02,599
That's why they tried
to kill me. Here's your glasses.
445
00:31:02,643 --> 00:31:05,013
Well, in case everybody's forgotten,
we're still in white water here.
446
00:31:05,037 --> 00:31:07,909
Let's find the counselor before
we get spotted by a cop. Come on.
447
00:31:07,953 --> 00:31:10,303
Why the outfit?
448
00:31:10,346 --> 00:31:14,785
You're not the local guy they were
gonna send in in case I didn't show up?
449
00:31:14,829 --> 00:31:17,397
No, I'm not
your replacement. Oh, I hope not,
450
00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:20,530
because that's not an official
Captain Bellybuster uniform.
451
00:31:20,574 --> 00:31:24,099
I mean, the kids would know right
off that's not the real thing.
452
00:31:24,143 --> 00:31:26,319
Why the getup? Well, that's some
question...
453
00:31:26,362 --> 00:31:28,408
comin' from a guy that's
got himself all done up...
454
00:31:28,451 --> 00:31:30,497
like the head doorman
at the funny farm.
455
00:31:30,540 --> 00:31:32,586
No offense, Ralph.Thanks.
456
00:31:32,629 --> 00:31:34,718
I use my uniform to sell
nourishing hamburgers.
457
00:31:34,762 --> 00:31:37,460
How about you? Oh, it's, uh...
458
00:31:37,504 --> 00:31:40,768
It's a really
long story.Oh.
459
00:31:40,811 --> 00:31:42,596
Let me have a look.
460
00:31:42,639 --> 00:31:45,338
Oh, believe me,
it's really not a problem.
461
00:31:45,381 --> 00:31:47,731
Something to do with the
distributor, that's all.
462
00:31:47,775 --> 00:31:51,518
That should be fine.
I don't wanna be a bother.
463
00:31:51,561 --> 00:31:54,782
Just lookin' to help a
pretty lady in distress.
464
00:31:54,825 --> 00:31:56,740
Hey, uh, how about
tomorrow night?
465
00:31:56,784 --> 00:31:58,829
I can get my partner
to cover for me.
466
00:31:58,873 --> 00:32:00,919
Well, I'm busy
tomorrow night too.
467
00:32:00,962 --> 00:32:03,723
My boyfriend just went to get some help.
He should be back any minute.
468
00:32:05,053 --> 00:32:07,534
Oh, great.
469
00:32:07,577 --> 00:32:10,885
What's happening here,
the Macy's Day Parade?
470
00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:13,105
Well, well, look at
what we got here.
471
00:32:13,148 --> 00:32:15,672
Huey, Dewey, and Louie.
472
00:32:15,716 --> 00:32:18,153
I bet your friends
think you dress weird. Me?
473
00:32:18,197 --> 00:32:20,286
Okay, you two,
let's see your I.D.'s.
474
00:32:20,329 --> 00:32:22,853
Uh, Officer, this
is easily explained.
475
00:32:22,897 --> 00:32:26,901
- No, it's not.
- Your two I.D.'s. Come on.
476
00:32:26,945 --> 00:32:29,904
- Wait a minute. I know you.
- Me?
477
00:32:29,948 --> 00:32:32,646
No, not you, him.
478
00:32:32,689 --> 00:32:35,083
You're Captain Bellybuster.
That's right.
479
00:32:35,127 --> 00:32:38,652
- He sure is.
- Gee, my kids are crazy about you.
480
00:32:38,695 --> 00:32:43,004
The way you fly down and crash through
that wall with them burgers in your hands.
481
00:32:43,048 --> 00:32:46,877
Hey, uh, could I get
your autograph for my kids?
482
00:32:46,921 --> 00:32:51,317
Why sure.
What are their names? Jennifer and Ryan.
483
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:53,841
You know, they wake me up
every Saturday morning...
484
00:32:53,884 --> 00:32:56,124
so we can go down and get some
of them Breakfast Busters.
485
00:32:58,063 --> 00:33:01,718
And it's good for them too...
Packed with nutritional value.
486
00:33:01,762 --> 00:33:06,810
- Hey, how 'bout yours?
- Me? Um...
487
00:33:06,854 --> 00:33:08,963
Uh, well, Captain,
I guess we better be going along...
488
00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:11,076
if we're gonna hit
the rest of those locations.
489
00:33:11,119 --> 00:33:13,208
We're scouting locations
for his new commercials.
490
00:33:13,252 --> 00:33:16,037
Burger alert!
491
00:33:16,081 --> 00:33:18,866
Burger alert. Gotta go. Bye.
492
00:33:18,909 --> 00:33:22,391
Let's go. Okay,
Captain, after you.
493
00:33:22,435 --> 00:33:25,829
Right in there.
Okay, thank you, Officer.
494
00:33:35,187 --> 00:33:37,537
Captain Bellybuster.
495
00:33:37,580 --> 00:33:40,192
It's Mickey,
Mickey Michaelson...
496
00:33:40,235 --> 00:33:42,368
At least that's
what my name is now.
497
00:33:42,411 --> 00:33:46,024
It used to be Michael Negausky, that's before
I changed it and went into show business...
498
00:33:46,067 --> 00:33:48,069
and started doing
the Playhouse...
499
00:33:48,113 --> 00:33:50,158
Playhouse? Playhouse 90?
500
00:33:50,202 --> 00:33:53,422
No, Mickey's Magic Playhouse.
501
00:33:53,466 --> 00:33:56,904
Mickey's Magic Playhouse. Yes,
I remember seeing that quite a few times.
502
00:33:56,947 --> 00:33:58,906
It had Billy Bluejeans
on it and that bird...
503
00:33:58,949 --> 00:34:01,082
and that rabbit that used
to stump you at spelling.
504
00:34:01,126 --> 00:34:03,432
- Right, Cock Robin.
- That's right.
505
00:34:03,476 --> 00:34:05,608
And Miss Spelling
and the Alphabet.
506
00:34:05,652 --> 00:34:07,871
Bill, I used to watch
his show all the time.
507
00:34:07,915 --> 00:34:11,484
It was on in the morning around 5:30.
I used to watch before I took a shower.
508
00:34:11,527 --> 00:34:16,097
Yeah, that's what killed us in most of
the major markets. We were on too early.
509
00:34:16,141 --> 00:34:19,883
Then they put on those early morning
cartoons... Qwazy Qwackenbush.
510
00:34:19,927 --> 00:34:21,885
He's the one who
knocked us off in Philly.
511
00:34:21,929 --> 00:34:26,194
Cap, could we talk about
who knocked off Bruce Warfel?
512
00:34:26,238 --> 00:34:28,849
I'm really kind of
more into that, actually.
513
00:34:28,892 --> 00:34:32,461
Oh, it must have been Donato
Friago, the loan shark.
514
00:34:32,505 --> 00:34:37,597
He was the silent partner with Cal Freeman
and Herb Teil of the Hamburger Heaven chain.
515
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,078
Only his interests were using
the interstate shipments...
516
00:34:40,121 --> 00:34:43,342
of Hamburger Heaven's supplies to move
his drugs... that's what I found out.
517
00:34:43,385 --> 00:34:45,648
Well, you must've tipped
your mitt, Mickey,
518
00:34:45,692 --> 00:34:48,390
because, obviously,
they canceled the shipment,
519
00:34:48,434 --> 00:34:50,827
waited to see if we were
gonna bust 'em... we tried...
520
00:34:50,871 --> 00:34:53,091
And then they knew it was you
that fingered them.
521
00:34:53,134 --> 00:34:57,791
- That's when they decided to deep-fry your hamburgers.
- Yeah, poor Mr. Warfel.
522
00:34:57,834 --> 00:34:59,793
I can't believe
they did that to him.
523
00:34:59,836 --> 00:35:02,143
- Burger alert! Burger alert!
- Uh-huh.
524
00:35:02,187 --> 00:35:04,145
Oh, boy. Did any cops spot you?
525
00:35:04,189 --> 00:35:06,321
Yeah. Coppers
had me cornered.
526
00:35:06,365 --> 00:35:08,541
But I popped one and
took it on the lam.
527
00:35:08,584 --> 00:35:10,717
Then I parked a few
blocks away and I walked.
528
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:14,851
Oh, that's wonderful. Keep the
jokes comin'. Just enjoy yourself.
529
00:35:14,895 --> 00:35:18,899
They've got my name and my number
and Ralph is a known associate.
530
00:35:18,942 --> 00:35:20,964
I mean, I'm startin' to sound
like John Dillinger here.
531
00:35:20,988 --> 00:35:23,208
Bill, take it easy
on the girl, all right?
532
00:35:23,251 --> 00:35:25,534
They think you're to smart to be
dumb enough to come over here.
533
00:35:25,558 --> 00:35:28,213
- Thanks, Ralph... I think.
- Here's your Bellybuster, Captain.
534
00:35:28,256 --> 00:35:30,345
Mickey, Miss Davidson.
Thank you.
535
00:35:30,389 --> 00:35:34,915
I always get hungry when I get nervous, and
I can't eat anything but Hamburger Heaven.
536
00:35:34,958 --> 00:35:38,919
Not since I put on the
Captain Bellybuster outfit.
537
00:35:38,962 --> 00:35:41,051
Mmm! These are good!
538
00:35:41,095 --> 00:35:43,880
Mm. And fortified
with all the vitamins...
539
00:35:43,924 --> 00:35:46,448
that make up your
daily requirement.
540
00:35:46,492 --> 00:35:50,887
Gang, I think we're slippin' a little
bit out of our assigned airspace here.
541
00:35:50,931 --> 00:35:53,281
We're tryin' to figure out
how to get out of this mess.
542
00:35:53,325 --> 00:35:56,328
Well, the first thing we gotta do,
is we gotta find Mickey some clothes.
543
00:35:56,371 --> 00:35:59,350
Believe me, I know what it feels like to
be running around like Radar Man from Mars.
544
00:35:59,374 --> 00:36:01,724
I don't understand.
What do you mean?
545
00:36:01,768 --> 00:36:05,598
- Well, don't you feel dumb?
- Dumb?
546
00:36:05,641 --> 00:36:09,079
- Why should I feel dumb?
- Come on. You're running around in red leotards...
547
00:36:09,123 --> 00:36:11,169
with a beef patty
on your chest.
548
00:36:11,212 --> 00:36:14,824
I mean, you gotta feel silly and don't you
feel embarrassed when people look at ya?
549
00:36:16,696 --> 00:36:19,829
Hey, lookit, pal.
People look up to me... I mean, the kids.
550
00:36:19,873 --> 00:36:22,005
What do they have but me?
551
00:36:22,049 --> 00:36:24,356
The adults too.
They come to me also...
552
00:36:24,399 --> 00:36:26,923
because I guess I kind of
remind them of a superhero...
553
00:36:26,967 --> 00:36:30,927
of yesterday when the
world was a simpler place.
554
00:36:30,971 --> 00:36:33,539
Good and bad and right and
wrong were just as plain...
555
00:36:33,582 --> 00:36:36,019
As the patty melt
on your chest.
556
00:36:36,063 --> 00:36:39,284
That's very funny.
Hey, you can laugh if you want to,
557
00:36:39,327 --> 00:36:42,809
but I'm very proud
to wear this uniform.
558
00:36:44,202 --> 00:36:47,292
Now, look. We've gotta do
something about our situation.
559
00:36:47,335 --> 00:36:49,946
I mean, the police are bound to
show up here sooner or later.
560
00:36:49,990 --> 00:36:53,123
Yeah, the counselor's right.
We gotta find a speed factory...
561
00:36:53,167 --> 00:36:57,563
Wherever that is... and nail
this Donato for killing Warfel.
562
00:36:57,606 --> 00:37:00,305
Hey, wait a minute.
How you gonna do that?
563
00:37:00,348 --> 00:37:03,612
Where'd you say you found the
manifest for the shipping routes?
564
00:37:03,656 --> 00:37:07,312
Oh, in the main offices of
Hamburger Heaven in Century City.
565
00:37:07,355 --> 00:37:11,011
Hey, they cleaned those out a long time
ago, as soon as they found out that I knew.
566
00:37:11,054 --> 00:37:14,101
Mickey, I'd like to thank
you very much for your help.
567
00:37:14,144 --> 00:37:16,103
No, thank you.
568
00:37:16,146 --> 00:37:19,976
I'd hate the captain's name to
get mixed up in a drug scandal.
569
00:37:20,020 --> 00:37:23,937
It would be terrible if I couldn't
wear this uniform out in public...
570
00:37:23,980 --> 00:37:26,200
with pride.
571
00:37:39,474 --> 00:37:42,085
- It's locked.
- I don't have the key. Ralph.
572
00:37:48,135 --> 00:37:51,269
How did he do that? The power of positive
thinking.
573
00:37:53,140 --> 00:37:55,316
Well, looks like somebody
left here in a hurry.
574
00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:58,319
Yeah, Donato Friago,
housecleaning.
575
00:38:01,061 --> 00:38:03,324
Oh!
576
00:38:06,458 --> 00:38:08,721
Bill, I got
something here.
577
00:38:08,764 --> 00:38:13,160
Seems they're packing drugs in Hamburger
Heaven frozen patty containers.
578
00:38:13,203 --> 00:38:17,077
- Where? Where is it?
- Warehouse or factory or something. Mickey!
579
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,297
Does Hamburger Heaven have
any warehouses in L.A.?
580
00:38:19,340 --> 00:38:21,342
I don't know.
581
00:38:21,386 --> 00:38:23,997
Well, how many Hamburger Heaven
warehouses can there be in L.A.?
582
00:38:25,215 --> 00:38:27,479
Try "H.H." Run 'em all.
They gotta be there.
583
00:38:27,522 --> 00:38:31,221
I'm gonna get us a cab.
We need some wheels we can depend on.
584
00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,616
Mickey, how ya doin'?
585
00:38:34,660 --> 00:38:39,229
Okay. Just saying good-bye
to Captain Bellybuster.
586
00:38:39,273 --> 00:38:43,016
You know, it was easier to say
good-bye to Billy Bluejeans.
587
00:38:43,059 --> 00:38:46,193
Why good-bye? Are you kidding?
588
00:38:46,236 --> 00:38:48,717
This is the end
of Hamburger Heaven.
589
00:38:48,761 --> 00:38:51,067
So, it's the end
of Captain Bellybuster.
590
00:38:51,111 --> 00:38:53,243
Well, it doesn't
have to be the end.
591
00:38:53,287 --> 00:38:56,377
So goes Hamburger Heaven,
so goes the captain.
592
00:38:56,421 --> 00:38:58,640
The captain was
Hamburger Heaven.
593
00:38:58,684 --> 00:39:01,469
Mickey, listen.
You are Captain Bellybuster.
594
00:39:01,513 --> 00:39:04,603
Now, as long as you're around,
Captain Bellybuster's around.
595
00:39:04,646 --> 00:39:07,127
You know, not just anybody
can fill that suit.
596
00:39:09,651 --> 00:39:13,568
I guess you got a point.
597
00:39:13,612 --> 00:39:18,268
- Here it is. 11241 Sherman Way.
- Okay. That's it.
598
00:39:18,312 --> 00:39:21,054
Cab should be out front.
Come on, honey.
599
00:39:40,073 --> 00:39:43,076
C-Captain Bellybuster's
in my cab!
600
00:39:43,119 --> 00:39:45,121
You kill me!
Whenever I see you...
601
00:39:45,165 --> 00:39:48,777
flying around with those hamburger's
in your hand, I just love it!
602
00:39:48,821 --> 00:39:51,650
Thank you.
603
00:39:51,693 --> 00:39:55,088
Uh, hello?
604
00:39:55,131 --> 00:39:59,222
11241 Sherman Way.
605
00:39:59,266 --> 00:40:01,747
And can we kill
the laugh track? Yeah. The guys...
606
00:40:01,790 --> 00:40:04,358
at the garage are gonna kill
me when they find out...
607
00:40:04,402 --> 00:40:07,230
that I had Captain
Bellybuster in my cab!
608
00:40:07,274 --> 00:40:10,843
- Uh, we're in kind of a rush.
- Yeah. Yeah.
609
00:40:10,886 --> 00:40:13,541
We're on burger alert.
610
00:40:21,549 --> 00:40:25,074
Okay, Ralph, that's it.
Ralph, you on the inside.
611
00:40:25,118 --> 00:40:29,818
Counselor, you take Captain
Bellybuster and the merry Mouseketeer,
612
00:40:29,862 --> 00:40:32,125
call Carlisle
and get some backup.
613
00:40:32,168 --> 00:40:34,301
Hey, I don't understand.
Where are you goin'?
614
00:40:34,344 --> 00:40:37,609
Uh, well, we're just
gonna wing it. Wing it?
615
00:40:37,652 --> 00:40:39,959
Yeah. Hey, listen.
I should go with you.
616
00:40:40,002 --> 00:40:42,067
I really should. We're just gonna
keep and eye on them...
617
00:40:42,091 --> 00:40:44,156
until you and Pam come back
with some backup, that's all.
618
00:40:44,180 --> 00:40:46,226
Yeah. Yeah, but, really.
619
00:40:46,269 --> 00:40:49,403
Mickey, please,
this is the best thing.
620
00:40:49,447 --> 00:40:51,927
Would you mind taking us...
To the telephone. Yeah.
621
00:40:51,971 --> 00:40:54,103
Doesn't he
just kill ya?
622
00:40:54,147 --> 00:40:56,932
Well, uh,
you get used to it.
623
00:40:56,976 --> 00:40:59,761
- Stop the cab!
- Mickey, what are you doing?
624
00:40:59,805 --> 00:41:02,764
I gotta go help them.
This is all my fault.
625
00:41:02,808 --> 00:41:05,158
Bruce getting killed,
getting you guys in trouble.
626
00:41:05,201 --> 00:41:07,334
I gotta get you out.
627
00:41:07,377 --> 00:41:10,729
I know this is gonna
come out kind of dumb, but...
628
00:41:10,772 --> 00:41:13,732
this is a job
for Captain Bellybuster!
629
00:41:24,569 --> 00:41:26,614
You two make me laugh.
630
00:41:26,658 --> 00:41:28,790
I mean, what's this world
comin' to?
631
00:41:28,834 --> 00:41:30,923
You come to me.
You tell me you need some dough...
632
00:41:30,966 --> 00:41:33,055
to open up a fast-food chain.
633
00:41:33,099 --> 00:41:36,624
Yeah, okay, throw that on the truck.
Didn't I give you the dough?
634
00:41:36,668 --> 00:41:40,585
Didn't I? Didn't I? Yeah, sure you did.
And we appreciate it.
635
00:41:40,628 --> 00:41:43,283
With this you appreciate it?
Keepin' records on me...
636
00:41:43,326 --> 00:41:46,808
so some goofball in stretch
underwear can wipe me out?
637
00:41:46,852 --> 00:41:49,332
We gotta pack up
and get out of here...
638
00:41:49,376 --> 00:41:51,683
and find another place
to operate out of.
639
00:41:51,726 --> 00:41:55,077
How am I supposed to make up for my losses?
640
00:41:55,121 --> 00:41:57,839
We offered to make good on the money.
We got the 100 G's you loaned us.
641
00:41:57,863 --> 00:42:00,953
We'll give it to ya. Ah!
Angina, ya give me.
642
00:42:00,996 --> 00:42:03,912
Look, Don. It was a stupid mistake.
643
00:42:03,956 --> 00:42:06,785
You don't know
how stupid. Hey, Donnie.
644
00:42:06,828 --> 00:42:09,439
Now, wait. Herb, talk to him.
645
00:42:09,483 --> 00:42:12,791
Fertilize an orange
grove with 'em. Yes, sir.
646
00:42:12,834 --> 00:42:16,229
You guys are busted.
Freeze!
647
00:42:16,272 --> 00:42:19,493
You heard him.
Do as he says.
648
00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:22,104
Mickey, get out
of the road!
649
00:43:07,323 --> 00:43:10,196
Okay, Friago, out!
650
00:43:27,169 --> 00:43:30,172
Up, baby, both of you!
You want another one?
651
00:43:32,522 --> 00:43:35,961
Mickey! Mickey,
you all right?
652
00:43:36,004 --> 00:43:38,006
Mickey! Mickey,
talk to us.
653
00:43:39,791 --> 00:43:44,970
Captain Bellybuster's
on burger alert.
654
00:43:54,501 --> 00:43:56,938
Burger alert! Burger alert!
655
00:43:56,982 --> 00:43:59,419
Come in, Captain Bellybuster.
Do you read me?
656
00:43:59,462 --> 00:44:01,508
Now, uh, let me see if
I've got this straight.
657
00:44:01,551 --> 00:44:04,946
This is the flying man that was in
the picture in the paper with you?
658
00:44:04,990 --> 00:44:07,253
Yes, sir.
It's all right here in my report.
659
00:44:07,296 --> 00:44:09,690
Yeah, Mickey Michaelson,
660
00:44:09,734 --> 00:44:12,475
Captain Bellybuster!
661
00:44:12,519 --> 00:44:15,565
Boy, oh, boy. A lot of people say
one of the funniest guys on TV.
662
00:44:15,609 --> 00:44:17,655
My inside man
at Hamburger Heaven...
663
00:44:17,698 --> 00:44:20,570
helped me bust their whole
drug smuggling operation.
664
00:44:20,614 --> 00:44:23,356
Your kids probably
love this guy, sir.
665
00:44:23,399 --> 00:44:25,401
He's been working
with you right along?
666
00:44:25,445 --> 00:44:28,274
Yes, sir, and I'm sorry
about before.
667
00:44:28,317 --> 00:44:33,148
I couldn't explain about Mickey being Captain
Bellybuster. He had to remain anonymous.
668
00:44:33,192 --> 00:44:35,542
He was afraid for his life,
because, well, uh,
669
00:44:35,585 --> 00:44:39,459
after Donato
wiped out Bruce Warfel...
670
00:44:39,502 --> 00:44:43,855
Bruce Warfel, that's the publisher who
put the article in the newspaper...
671
00:44:43,898 --> 00:44:48,337
so that I could flush out Donato
and his whole speed factory.
672
00:44:49,425 --> 00:44:51,732
That's terrific, Billy.Yeah.
673
00:44:51,776 --> 00:44:55,431
I hate it. Makes all the sense in
the world. Answers every question.
674
00:44:55,475 --> 00:44:58,173
Yes, it does, sir,
doesn't it?
675
00:44:58,217 --> 00:45:00,262
Yes, I'm sorry, sir.
676
00:45:00,306 --> 00:45:04,702
Bill, I was really afraid you were
going for the deep six on this one.
677
00:45:04,745 --> 00:45:06,834
Me too. What?
678
00:45:06,878 --> 00:45:09,184
What'd you say?
679
00:45:09,228 --> 00:45:11,534
I said, "Me too."
680
00:45:11,578 --> 00:45:14,973
Well, anyway, what the heck.
Another day, another big bust.
681
00:45:15,016 --> 00:45:18,628
Another big, big diamond in the
Maxwell package, right, sir?
682
00:45:20,108 --> 00:45:22,632
- Right?
- Right.
683
00:45:22,676 --> 00:45:26,593
Gee, it's so nice to be able
to put you in a good mood...
684
00:45:26,636 --> 00:45:28,813
at this time of
the morning, sir.
685
00:45:28,856 --> 00:45:31,380
And I'm gonna try to get
you Mickey's autograph.
686
00:45:32,599 --> 00:45:34,819
For your kids.
687
00:45:34,862 --> 00:45:37,909
I can't guarantee anything,
but I'm gonna try.
688
00:45:45,612 --> 00:45:48,833
I can tell
by that happy face...
689
00:45:48,876 --> 00:45:51,574
that Carlisle has bought
the Captain Bellybuster story.
690
00:45:51,618 --> 00:45:54,012
Well, you just have to know
what you're doin', that's all.
691
00:45:54,055 --> 00:45:57,102
I needed, uh, a guy
with the funny suit...
692
00:45:57,145 --> 00:45:59,539
and the funny cape and
the funny little booties.
693
00:45:59,582 --> 00:46:02,455
That's Captain Bellybuster
It was a great idea.
694
00:46:02,498 --> 00:46:06,198
I was sensational.
Carlisle bought it hook, line and sinker.
695
00:46:06,241 --> 00:46:08,330
You take good advice,
Bill. Huh?
696
00:46:08,374 --> 00:46:10,506
Oh, uh, yeah.
697
00:46:10,550 --> 00:46:13,335
Okay, yeah, well, thanks, counselor.
It was a good idea.
698
00:46:13,379 --> 00:46:15,468
Ralph, do you mind?
I work here.Sorry.
699
00:46:16,556 --> 00:46:18,819
Anyway, it all went down
real smooth.
700
00:46:18,863 --> 00:46:20,908
Yeah, except for Mickey.
701
00:46:20,952 --> 00:46:23,408
I guess now that Burger Heaven's
shutting down, he's out of work.
702
00:46:23,432 --> 00:46:25,870
Nope. Take a look
at this.
703
00:46:28,133 --> 00:46:32,485
- Wow! Look at that. He's actually a hero.
- What? What? Let me see.
704
00:46:32,528 --> 00:46:37,185
He's had a couple of offers from some
other fast-food chains to be their mascot.
705
00:46:37,229 --> 00:46:39,816
There's a deli in Santa Monica where
he can be the new Scarlet Pumpernickel.
706
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,800
There's some places back east where
he can be the new Burger Meister.
707
00:46:42,843 --> 00:46:45,628
Oh, my name isn't
mentioned in here once.
708
00:46:45,672 --> 00:46:48,501
You've gotten enough press
from this particular paper.
709
00:46:48,544 --> 00:46:50,546
Wanna hear the best
part of all?
710
00:46:50,590 --> 00:46:52,766
He asked me to be
his new partner.
711
00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:55,987
Oh, Ralph. Give me a break. What do you
know about hawking onion patty melts?
712
00:46:56,030 --> 00:46:59,294
He said I was the best partner he's
ever had since Billy Bluejeans.
713
00:46:59,338 --> 00:47:02,732
Yeah, but isn't that the guy that went
bananas on camera? They had to put him away.
714
00:47:02,776 --> 00:47:05,736
He had some emotional problems,
but he used to run around on stage going...
715
00:47:09,696 --> 00:47:11,567
I liked him.
716
00:47:11,617 --> 00:47:16,167
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