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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,071 --> 00:00:07,071 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 2 00:00:14,401 --> 00:00:17,359 You didn't say anything about this online. 3 00:00:17,401 --> 00:00:19,173 Yeah, remember when I 4 00:00:19,215 --> 00:00:21,334 told you about the experiment I was working on? 5 00:00:22,219 --> 00:00:23,806 No, experiment? 6 00:00:29,948 --> 00:00:32,519 So I'm a sociologist, right? 7 00:00:32,561 --> 00:00:35,069 And I told you that I was really busy. 8 00:00:35,111 --> 00:00:37,279 Right, yeah, you said you were real busy. 9 00:00:37,321 --> 00:00:38,363 Right, and I had a lot of work to do. 10 00:00:38,405 --> 00:00:41,009 Well, this is what I'm working on. 11 00:00:41,051 --> 00:00:42,051 I asked you to help. 12 00:00:43,853 --> 00:00:45,809 Yeah 13 00:00:45,851 --> 00:00:49,309 So what do I do? I just eat? 14 00:00:49,351 --> 00:00:51,379 Yeah, just ignore the cameras completely. 15 00:00:51,421 --> 00:00:52,429 That's the point actually, 16 00:00:52,471 --> 00:00:54,999 is to see how well people can ignore being watched 17 00:00:55,041 --> 00:00:56,464 when they know that they are. 18 00:01:03,511 --> 00:01:05,369 Okay, so, what should we do? 19 00:01:05,411 --> 00:01:07,959 Should we act like we're sitting down 20 00:01:08,001 --> 00:01:08,792 introducing ourself? 21 00:01:08,834 --> 00:01:10,349 - Like, hey David, I'm... - No, no, no, no. 22 00:01:10,391 --> 00:01:14,479 No acting at all. No acting, just sit, you and me, 23 00:01:14,521 --> 00:01:15,563 completely ignore the cameras. 24 00:01:15,605 --> 00:01:16,396 Okay 25 00:01:16,438 --> 00:01:17,469 - You got it? - Mm-hmm. 26 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:18,529 Okay, so here we go. 27 00:01:18,571 --> 00:01:19,404 No acting. 28 00:01:21,461 --> 00:01:22,624 So, Erin? 29 00:01:24,641 --> 00:01:26,197 Who has two? 30 00:01:26,239 --> 00:01:29,129 They came from the grant, 31 00:01:29,171 --> 00:01:30,112 but you're not ignoring the cameras 32 00:01:30,154 --> 00:01:31,429 and that's the whole point. 33 00:01:31,471 --> 00:01:32,759 Oh yeah, I'm sorry. 34 00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:33,801 It's okay. 35 00:01:38,351 --> 00:01:39,578 Okay, I'm good. 36 00:01:48,534 --> 00:01:49,994 I have one more question. 37 00:01:51,666 --> 00:01:53,295 No one gets to see this, right? 38 00:01:53,337 --> 00:01:56,194 No, absolutely no one will get to see this. 39 00:01:58,391 --> 00:01:59,717 Okay. 40 00:01:59,759 --> 00:02:01,209 I'm ignoring the the cameras. 41 00:02:07,742 --> 00:02:09,491 Let's do this. 42 00:02:29,231 --> 00:02:32,049 I thought you said you were six one. 43 00:02:32,091 --> 00:02:33,324 It's a waxing moon. 44 00:02:34,301 --> 00:02:35,134 What? 45 00:02:36,551 --> 00:02:38,709 Our heights are affected by the lunar cycle. 46 00:02:38,751 --> 00:02:41,004 Kind of like the waves in the ocean. 47 00:02:42,651 --> 00:02:44,919 So, throughout the course of the month, 48 00:02:44,961 --> 00:02:47,554 we have a range of different heights that we occupy. 49 00:02:48,571 --> 00:02:50,459 Well, you're the scientist. 50 00:02:50,501 --> 00:02:51,451 Waxing moon. 51 00:03:03,901 --> 00:03:05,904 Wait, were you filming all this? 52 00:03:06,921 --> 00:03:08,299 Yeah, I told you I was gonna be recording 53 00:03:08,341 --> 00:03:10,159 all of our interaction. 54 00:03:10,201 --> 00:03:12,519 No, you said just the conversation. 55 00:03:12,561 --> 00:03:14,994 I haven't signed any sort of consent form. 56 00:03:17,901 --> 00:03:20,854 I mean, I have you on camera saying, "Yes," so. 57 00:03:33,251 --> 00:03:35,953 No one gets to see this though, right? 58 00:03:35,995 --> 00:03:37,245 That's right. 59 00:03:38,611 --> 00:03:41,029 Well, except for some clinicians. 60 00:03:41,071 --> 00:03:42,021 Wait, who? 61 00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:46,109 Nobody, just some researchers, 62 00:03:46,151 --> 00:03:47,309 like they're not perverted or anything. 63 00:03:47,351 --> 00:03:49,509 Just some little scientists 64 00:03:49,551 --> 00:03:51,879 trying to make this world a better place. 65 00:03:51,921 --> 00:03:53,021 They're heroes really. 66 00:03:54,481 --> 00:03:56,129 But that's it? 67 00:03:56,171 --> 00:03:57,234 Yeah, that's it. 68 00:04:13,581 --> 00:04:14,999 I could be a clinician, all right? 69 00:04:15,041 --> 00:04:16,252 I will be one. 70 00:04:16,294 --> 00:04:18,389 I mean, this is what I'm saying, man. 71 00:04:18,431 --> 00:04:20,359 Lies are where it's at, no one wants the truth. 72 00:04:20,401 --> 00:04:21,569 She totally fuckin' bought it. 73 00:04:21,611 --> 00:04:23,154 I hear you, oh man. 74 00:04:25,101 --> 00:04:26,819 David, I'm serious when I ask this, 75 00:04:26,861 --> 00:04:28,073 and I need you to be honest, 76 00:04:28,115 --> 00:04:29,949 What's that? 77 00:04:29,991 --> 00:04:31,107 What's her number? 78 00:04:31,149 --> 00:04:32,859 I'm not giving you her number. 79 00:04:32,901 --> 00:04:34,879 Look at that, she's totally asking for it. 80 00:04:34,921 --> 00:04:36,089 Literally, she is. 81 00:04:36,131 --> 00:04:37,549 No. 82 00:04:37,591 --> 00:04:39,669 All right, well, how was she? 83 00:04:39,711 --> 00:04:40,709 What, like in bed? 84 00:04:40,751 --> 00:04:42,879 No, in the experiment. 85 00:04:42,921 --> 00:04:44,429 I mean, there's no experiment, so. 86 00:04:44,471 --> 00:04:47,954 Of course I meant in bed, you idiot, all right? 87 00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,537 Although... 88 00:04:49,579 --> 00:04:50,912 Although what? 89 00:04:51,881 --> 00:04:53,374 Dude, no, you can't. 90 00:04:54,540 --> 00:04:55,389 - Don't film this. - I'm just saving this 91 00:04:55,431 --> 00:04:56,222 for later, 92 00:04:56,264 --> 00:04:57,639 - just give me a... - No, this is not for you 93 00:04:57,681 --> 00:04:58,531 to save to later. 94 00:04:59,640 --> 00:05:01,309 - This is not for you. - Okay, listen for a second. 95 00:05:01,351 --> 00:05:03,074 Stop it, delete the shot. 96 00:05:04,051 --> 00:05:05,899 You don't need it, delete the shot. 97 00:05:05,941 --> 00:05:06,843 Okay. 98 00:05:06,885 --> 00:05:07,676 You do it? 99 00:05:07,718 --> 00:05:09,409 Chill out, I'll delete it, I promise. 100 00:05:09,451 --> 00:05:10,242 You promise? 101 00:05:10,284 --> 00:05:11,615 I promise. 102 00:05:11,657 --> 00:05:14,059 All right, just give me a second. I'm just gonna... 103 00:05:14,101 --> 00:05:15,532 Oh fuck. 104 00:05:15,574 --> 00:05:17,669 My camera, okay. 105 00:05:17,711 --> 00:05:19,509 Hopefully that's good and I'm just gonna adjust that. 106 00:05:19,551 --> 00:05:21,109 Let me, let me, let me. 107 00:05:21,151 --> 00:05:24,209 Okay, all right, well, okay, you're the expert. 108 00:05:24,251 --> 00:05:25,989 What are we doing here? 109 00:05:26,031 --> 00:05:27,079 You said something earlier 110 00:05:27,121 --> 00:05:28,887 and it really stuck with me. 111 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,279 I think we can turn your shitty womanizing 112 00:05:31,321 --> 00:05:32,669 into something really great. 113 00:05:32,711 --> 00:05:33,539 Whoa. 114 00:05:33,581 --> 00:05:34,569 No, I know. 115 00:05:34,611 --> 00:05:35,679 Listen, hear me out. 116 00:05:35,721 --> 00:05:37,571 You said that lying is where it's at. 117 00:05:39,031 --> 00:05:40,529 Yeah, I did say that. 118 00:05:40,571 --> 00:05:43,009 Okay and you lie to women to hook up with them 119 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:45,089 - and that's... - No, it's more than that. 120 00:05:45,131 --> 00:05:47,609 Okay, but you lie to them, right? Why? 121 00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:52,079 Okay, so, our whole lives we're groomed on fiction 122 00:05:52,121 --> 00:05:54,339 and movies and books. 123 00:05:54,381 --> 00:05:58,269 No one actually wants to be with someone that's real. 124 00:05:58,311 --> 00:06:01,349 So who the fuck is gonna swipe right on someone like... 125 00:06:01,391 --> 00:06:02,719 On you? 126 00:06:02,761 --> 00:06:04,304 Sure, yeah, someone like me. 127 00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:11,019 It's almost like in order to experience a real relationship, 128 00:06:11,061 --> 00:06:14,409 you kind of have to be fake. 129 00:06:14,451 --> 00:06:16,502 That makes total sense, David. 130 00:06:16,544 --> 00:06:18,442 All right, that's what I want this movie to say. 131 00:06:18,484 --> 00:06:21,599 Dude you're not putting my fucking sex tape online. 132 00:06:21,641 --> 00:06:23,579 I don't care what bullshit justification you have, 133 00:06:23,621 --> 00:06:25,329 that's called revenge porn. 134 00:06:25,371 --> 00:06:28,079 I mean, unless they sign some sort of consent, 135 00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,019 but then that defeats 136 00:06:29,061 --> 00:06:30,089 - the whole point, right? - Okay, listen, 137 00:06:30,131 --> 00:06:32,409 does National Geographic publish a 138 00:06:32,451 --> 00:06:34,149 tribal revenge porn magazine? 139 00:06:34,191 --> 00:06:36,499 Dude, that is not even the same. 140 00:06:36,541 --> 00:06:37,919 Not even comparable. 141 00:06:37,961 --> 00:06:39,254 That's documentary. 142 00:06:40,111 --> 00:06:40,902 Okay? 143 00:06:40,944 --> 00:06:43,194 If it's documentary or satire, you don't need consent. 144 00:06:44,421 --> 00:06:46,539 Okay, then genius, 145 00:06:46,581 --> 00:06:50,539 give me a documentary-satire on boobs. 146 00:06:50,581 --> 00:06:51,414 Okay. 147 00:06:54,011 --> 00:06:55,724 Breast in show. 148 00:06:57,761 --> 00:06:58,661 That was clever. 149 00:07:00,221 --> 00:07:01,309 Look David, 150 00:07:01,351 --> 00:07:03,439 I wanna make a tasteful film 151 00:07:03,481 --> 00:07:05,979 about how deceitful we have to be these days. 152 00:07:06,021 --> 00:07:07,609 If you're uncomfortable with the sex stuff, 153 00:07:07,651 --> 00:07:08,729 we don't need to have it in there. 154 00:07:08,771 --> 00:07:09,989 No nudity in the movie. 155 00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:11,219 Then no one's gonna watch it. 156 00:07:11,261 --> 00:07:12,919 The whole point of someone watching a documentary 157 00:07:12,961 --> 00:07:14,009 is so that they can look at boobs 158 00:07:14,051 --> 00:07:15,769 without feeling like a dick for watching porn. 159 00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:16,959 Well, then fuck them! 160 00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,689 Okay? We're not gonna be one of those shitty docs 161 00:07:18,731 --> 00:07:21,849 that shows gratuitous hot chicks' breasts 162 00:07:21,891 --> 00:07:23,419 at the beginning of a film, 163 00:07:23,461 --> 00:07:25,289 just to trick them into watching 90 minutes 164 00:07:25,331 --> 00:07:27,144 of fucking boring bullshit. 165 00:07:28,121 --> 00:07:28,954 Look, okay. 166 00:07:29,974 --> 00:07:30,765 This is what we'll do. 167 00:07:30,807 --> 00:07:33,439 After it's all over, after it's all done, 168 00:07:33,481 --> 00:07:35,699 we'll run it past the girls, right? 169 00:07:35,741 --> 00:07:37,094 And if they're cool with the film, 170 00:07:37,136 --> 00:07:39,279 which they will be because of the positive message 171 00:07:39,321 --> 00:07:40,784 and it's not exploitative, 172 00:07:41,841 --> 00:07:45,969 maybe they'll let us show each of them topless at the end. 173 00:07:46,011 --> 00:07:47,719 As a reward for the guys 174 00:07:47,761 --> 00:07:48,999 that have made it all the way through. 175 00:07:49,041 --> 00:07:52,499 So you wanna take turns tricking girls 176 00:07:52,541 --> 00:07:53,779 into believing our bullshit, 177 00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:56,357 and then what? We capitalize 178 00:07:56,399 --> 00:07:57,619 - off that, or what? - No, no, no, no, David, stop. 179 00:07:57,661 --> 00:07:58,452 Not we. 180 00:07:58,494 --> 00:08:00,349 No, I'm not in this. 181 00:08:00,391 --> 00:08:01,182 Just me? 182 00:08:01,224 --> 00:08:02,015 Yeah. 183 00:08:02,057 --> 00:08:02,909 You're the one that's good at this shit. 184 00:08:02,951 --> 00:08:04,512 You are the one that's good at manipulating people 185 00:08:04,554 --> 00:08:06,019 into doing what they want. 186 00:08:06,061 --> 00:08:08,549 I'm bad at that, I'm bad and I'm not gonna be in it. 187 00:08:08,591 --> 00:08:09,516 No way. 188 00:08:09,558 --> 00:08:11,359 Except for right now, right here, right now? 189 00:08:11,401 --> 00:08:12,449 No, man, no. 190 00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:15,219 This is way too boring, this is not gonna make the cut. 191 00:08:15,261 --> 00:08:16,924 'Cause there's no naked chicks in it. 192 00:08:19,191 --> 00:08:21,519 Okay, all right, yeah, that was clever. 193 00:08:21,561 --> 00:08:22,352 Thank you. 194 00:08:22,394 --> 00:08:23,185 That was clever. 195 00:08:23,227 --> 00:08:24,549 But that's not the same thing. 196 00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:27,084 Look, David, are you in? 197 00:08:32,171 --> 00:08:33,599 No fucking way. 198 00:08:33,641 --> 00:08:36,141 Okay, so what are we gonna film this on? 199 00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,539 Like cell phones? 200 00:08:37,581 --> 00:08:38,779 No way, dude. 201 00:08:38,821 --> 00:08:40,339 If we want to make a movie, 202 00:08:40,381 --> 00:08:42,489 we're gonna make it look like a movie, right? 203 00:08:42,531 --> 00:08:44,989 Okay. And look, it's just us filming this. 204 00:08:45,031 --> 00:08:46,879 I don't want any of your film friends, Matt or mark, 205 00:08:46,921 --> 00:08:48,642 or who-the-fuck-ever is gonna be standing over me 206 00:08:48,684 --> 00:08:49,929 when I'm trying to score, right? 207 00:08:49,971 --> 00:08:51,934 Definitely not, definitely not. 208 00:08:53,461 --> 00:08:55,059 And no one gets to see the raw footage 209 00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:56,339 until you have personally edited that. 210 00:08:56,381 --> 00:08:57,701 Is that a deal? 211 00:08:57,743 --> 00:08:59,814 Yeah, of course. 212 00:09:02,945 --> 00:09:04,289 All right, now what about a script? 213 00:09:04,331 --> 00:09:05,969 Are you gonna write it? Is it gonna be a joint? 214 00:09:06,011 --> 00:09:07,739 Hey, no, there is no script. 215 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:08,682 That's the whole point. 216 00:09:08,724 --> 00:09:10,974 Have you been listening to what I'm saying? 217 00:09:11,891 --> 00:09:13,391 I mean, you're the director. 218 00:09:16,881 --> 00:09:18,739 You're the director, right? 219 00:09:18,781 --> 00:09:19,572 Did you say director? 220 00:09:19,614 --> 00:09:21,556 No, I'm not directing, you're you're directing it, man. 221 00:09:21,598 --> 00:09:22,409 I'm directing it? 222 00:09:22,451 --> 00:09:24,579 Yeah, you decide what you do by your actions. 223 00:09:24,621 --> 00:09:26,609 You're the one doing it. You're deciding what to do. 224 00:09:26,651 --> 00:09:28,159 No, no, I cannot be the director 225 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,629 'cause if I direct this, I'm gonna look like I'm an asshole. 226 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,299 Well, only if you're being an asshole. 227 00:09:32,341 --> 00:09:33,759 Dude, that's not the point. 228 00:09:33,801 --> 00:09:36,634 I'm going to look like an asshole. 229 00:09:38,281 --> 00:09:39,219 So you don't wanna direct? 230 00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:41,749 Well, I definitely don't wanna be called the director. 231 00:09:41,791 --> 00:09:42,624 No. 232 00:09:43,821 --> 00:09:44,654 Okay. 233 00:09:45,901 --> 00:09:48,179 Okay, I'll take the directing credit. 234 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:49,964 Okay, cool. Thank you. 235 00:09:52,341 --> 00:09:53,844 So, should we get started? 236 00:09:57,621 --> 00:09:59,969 Yeah, let's do it. 237 00:10:00,011 --> 00:10:01,256 Hi, I'm David Bush, 238 00:10:01,298 --> 00:10:04,099 and I decided to selflessly sacrifice my reputation 239 00:10:04,141 --> 00:10:06,089 in order to bring you through a guided tour 240 00:10:06,131 --> 00:10:08,631 through the doors of an exclusive underworld 241 00:10:11,501 --> 00:10:12,739 thought? 242 00:10:12,781 --> 00:10:15,259 Selflessly sacrifice my reputation 243 00:10:15,301 --> 00:10:17,439 in order to take you through a guided tour of the doors. 244 00:10:17,481 --> 00:10:20,409 Through the doors of an exclusive underworld thought 245 00:10:20,451 --> 00:10:22,589 that provide, mother fucker. 246 00:10:22,631 --> 00:10:25,729 Of thought that pervades all of our lives. 247 00:10:25,771 --> 00:10:29,649 My reputation, in order to take you on a guided tour, 248 00:10:29,691 --> 00:10:31,729 underworld of thought. 249 00:10:31,771 --> 00:10:34,179 Exclusive underworld of thought. 250 00:10:34,221 --> 00:10:35,999 All right, let's just do it. Let's roll it. 251 00:10:36,041 --> 00:10:37,287 Let's just roll it. 252 00:10:37,329 --> 00:10:39,633 We're just gonna roll it. 253 00:10:39,675 --> 00:10:42,779 Oh god, this is so stressful. Okay. 254 00:10:42,821 --> 00:10:43,819 We're rolling, we're rolling, 255 00:10:43,861 --> 00:10:44,839 - we're rolling. - Is this rolling. 256 00:10:44,881 --> 00:10:45,919 We're all rolling, we're ready to go. 257 00:10:45,961 --> 00:10:47,455 Let's do it. 258 00:10:47,497 --> 00:10:52,497 All right. 259 00:10:52,741 --> 00:10:54,599 Hi, I'm David Bush, 260 00:10:54,641 --> 00:10:56,619 and I have decided to selflessly sacrifice 261 00:10:56,661 --> 00:10:59,629 my reputation in order to bring you on a guided tour, 262 00:10:59,671 --> 00:11:02,199 through the doors of an exclusive underworld of thought 263 00:11:02,241 --> 00:11:04,419 that pervades all of our lives. 264 00:11:04,461 --> 00:11:05,879 An elicit society 265 00:11:05,921 --> 00:11:09,049 in which we have all pledged complicit membership. 266 00:11:09,091 --> 00:11:10,904 Welcome to Fuck Club. 267 00:11:12,031 --> 00:11:12,981 - Now... - Fuck club? 268 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,659 Yeah, it's gonna be the title. 269 00:11:15,701 --> 00:11:16,909 You don't want sex or nudity, 270 00:11:16,951 --> 00:11:17,909 or to seem like an asshole, 271 00:11:17,951 --> 00:11:20,469 but you wanna call the movie, "Fuck Club"? 272 00:11:20,511 --> 00:11:22,589 Yeah. It's kind of like "Fight Club," 273 00:11:22,631 --> 00:11:24,981 you know, plight of the middle-class white man. 274 00:11:26,061 --> 00:11:28,419 I was thinking maybe we could just 275 00:11:28,461 --> 00:11:31,119 more overtly call it by what it is. 276 00:11:31,161 --> 00:11:32,511 You don't like Fuck Club? 277 00:11:33,891 --> 00:11:35,391 Yes, I love Fuck Club. 278 00:11:37,081 --> 00:11:38,086 We're gonna call it Fuck Club. 279 00:11:38,128 --> 00:11:39,069 All right, cool. 280 00:11:39,111 --> 00:11:41,169 Just like "Fight Club." 281 00:11:41,211 --> 00:11:42,819 Yes. 282 00:11:42,861 --> 00:11:43,879 Just, kind of. 283 00:11:43,921 --> 00:11:45,514 Great, that's great. 284 00:11:46,951 --> 00:11:48,849 Well, we are not gonna show a flash of my dick 285 00:11:48,891 --> 00:11:50,575 at the end though. 286 00:11:50,617 --> 00:11:51,450 Okay. 287 00:11:52,591 --> 00:11:53,641 Welcome to Fuck Club. 288 00:11:56,251 --> 00:11:57,559 Okay, so, 289 00:11:57,601 --> 00:11:58,939 I started using some of these websites 290 00:11:58,981 --> 00:12:00,009 because I couldn't find anyone 291 00:12:00,051 --> 00:12:01,639 that was generally interested in real life. 292 00:12:01,681 --> 00:12:03,281 Right? Like, no one hot. 293 00:12:05,421 --> 00:12:06,212 Right? 294 00:12:06,254 --> 00:12:07,565 Sure, yeah. 295 00:12:07,607 --> 00:12:08,398 You make me sound like a dick. 296 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,239 I'm sorry, go ahead. 297 00:12:10,281 --> 00:12:11,369 So I signed up for and yeah, 298 00:12:11,411 --> 00:12:13,089 I mean, it had a bunch of people that were hot, 299 00:12:13,131 --> 00:12:14,289 but some of their bio lines 300 00:12:14,331 --> 00:12:16,299 were genuinely kind of cool. 301 00:12:16,341 --> 00:12:17,489 Well, 'cause they're bullshit. 302 00:12:17,531 --> 00:12:18,729 Right. 303 00:12:18,771 --> 00:12:23,049 So then, I put my info up there, not lying. 304 00:12:23,091 --> 00:12:25,259 And guess how many hits I got? 305 00:12:25,301 --> 00:12:26,092 How many? 306 00:12:26,134 --> 00:12:27,069 None. 307 00:12:27,111 --> 00:12:27,902 Ouch. 308 00:12:27,944 --> 00:12:29,119 So then I did what I do best. 309 00:12:29,161 --> 00:12:30,011 You lied? 310 00:12:31,631 --> 00:12:34,649 Research, is what I do best. 311 00:12:34,691 --> 00:12:35,822 Okay, sorry. 312 00:12:37,661 --> 00:12:38,511 Check this out. 313 00:12:40,221 --> 00:12:42,537 Look at this girl, right here. 314 00:12:42,579 --> 00:12:44,712 Look at her, I found her profile 315 00:12:44,754 --> 00:12:45,545 - right here. - Oh, she's beautiful. 316 00:12:45,587 --> 00:12:47,659 So look, this is the original, okay? 317 00:12:47,701 --> 00:12:49,365 And this is the edit. 318 00:12:49,407 --> 00:12:50,198 - Oh, no. - Look, she took this guy, 319 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:51,109 she cut him out completely, 320 00:12:51,151 --> 00:12:52,689 like, her boyfriend or friend or whatever. 321 00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,809 Yeah, she's cheating around. 322 00:12:53,851 --> 00:12:54,642 Yes. 323 00:12:54,684 --> 00:12:56,614 And in addition to that, watch this. 324 00:12:57,681 --> 00:12:58,472 Okay? Look right here. 325 00:12:58,514 --> 00:13:01,389 You can see some of his hair, right here and right here. 326 00:13:01,431 --> 00:13:03,179 - Yeah, I see that. - She made her eyes bigger. 327 00:13:03,221 --> 00:13:04,012 - Right? - Oh! 328 00:13:04,054 --> 00:13:05,379 And then check this out. 329 00:13:05,421 --> 00:13:07,862 This is my favorite part. 330 00:13:07,904 --> 00:13:09,195 Look at that dude, whitehead. 331 00:13:09,237 --> 00:13:12,309 - Oh, no! - Right there. 332 00:13:12,351 --> 00:13:13,279 She hottened herself. 333 00:13:13,321 --> 00:13:14,489 Yeah, she heated herself. 334 00:13:14,531 --> 00:13:15,869 Yeah, digital surgery. 335 00:13:15,911 --> 00:13:16,702 No way. 336 00:13:16,744 --> 00:13:17,577 Yup. 337 00:13:22,338 --> 00:13:24,659 All right, so what did you learn? 338 00:13:24,701 --> 00:13:27,004 Did you put yourself under the cursor too? 339 00:13:28,131 --> 00:13:30,274 I mean, yes and no. 340 00:13:31,341 --> 00:13:34,339 Guys are supposed to look like life happens to them, 341 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:37,276 so, did I smooth out my skin? No. 342 00:13:37,318 --> 00:13:39,254 But you exaggerated your height? 343 00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:43,349 I'm sorry, that's a lunar thing. 344 00:13:43,391 --> 00:13:44,291 I keep forgetting. 345 00:13:46,941 --> 00:13:48,779 Anyway, I hate this camera, 346 00:13:48,821 --> 00:13:49,959 do you have to be filming with this? 347 00:13:50,001 --> 00:13:51,085 Yes, it's part of the movie, all right? 348 00:13:51,127 --> 00:13:51,918 Just deal with it. 349 00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,406 Okay, just scoot back a little bit. 350 00:13:53,448 --> 00:13:54,779 All right. 351 00:13:54,821 --> 00:13:56,419 Back on track. 352 00:13:56,461 --> 00:13:58,299 Girls can post selfies. 353 00:13:58,341 --> 00:13:59,569 Guys cannot. 354 00:13:59,611 --> 00:14:01,207 Never, ever post a selfie. 355 00:14:01,249 --> 00:14:02,759 So what I did, is I took a couple pictures of myself, 356 00:14:02,801 --> 00:14:03,592 all right? 357 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:04,629 Just doing stuff. 358 00:14:04,671 --> 00:14:07,639 The more ambiguous, the better. 359 00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:10,579 And then, I just doctored up my profile. 360 00:14:10,621 --> 00:14:13,679 Oh, okay, so you like long walks on the beach, 361 00:14:13,721 --> 00:14:14,939 you want the perfect family, 362 00:14:14,981 --> 00:14:16,594 you're looking for the right woman. 363 00:14:17,831 --> 00:14:18,729 No! 364 00:14:18,771 --> 00:14:20,203 Fuck no. 365 00:14:20,245 --> 00:14:21,059 That is clearly a lie. 366 00:14:21,101 --> 00:14:24,089 You have to say things like, "I'm too busy with work. 367 00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:26,196 I'm not sure if I have time for a relationship." 368 00:14:26,238 --> 00:14:27,449 All right, what do you do for work? 369 00:14:27,491 --> 00:14:29,009 You just gotta cater it to the girl. 370 00:14:29,051 --> 00:14:30,869 I mean, that's not the point. 371 00:14:30,911 --> 00:14:34,879 The point is, I'm not actually looking for somebody. 372 00:14:34,921 --> 00:14:36,549 So if I find someone that makes an impression, 373 00:14:36,591 --> 00:14:38,444 it's because they're fucking amazing. 374 00:14:39,381 --> 00:14:41,659 That's backwards, but it's clever. 375 00:14:41,701 --> 00:14:43,642 Okay. Are you using this for the movie? 376 00:14:43,684 --> 00:14:45,779 Because you look really stupid right now. 377 00:14:45,821 --> 00:14:48,469 It's not about what I look like, okay? 378 00:14:48,511 --> 00:14:51,004 It looks stupid to you, but the camera can't see me. 379 00:14:53,841 --> 00:14:54,674 Oh, fuck. 380 00:14:55,531 --> 00:14:57,099 I mean, can we just put a camera up here? 381 00:14:57,141 --> 00:14:58,662 We got a little, 382 00:14:58,704 --> 00:15:00,619 this records footage. 383 00:15:00,661 --> 00:15:01,452 That's a camera? 384 00:15:01,494 --> 00:15:03,339 Yeah. 385 00:15:03,381 --> 00:15:04,681 No, that's stupid. 386 00:15:06,491 --> 00:15:08,782 Okay, David, why don't you update everyone 387 00:15:08,824 --> 00:15:10,519 and tell them where we're at? 388 00:15:10,561 --> 00:15:13,206 I thought you weren't gonna be in the movie? 389 00:15:13,248 --> 00:15:14,539 I'm not, I'm just narrating, 390 00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:16,899 I'm like an active participant. 391 00:15:16,941 --> 00:15:19,879 Okay. So how about you narrate where we are? 392 00:15:19,921 --> 00:15:21,169 Okay, fine. 393 00:15:21,211 --> 00:15:24,212 Hey, we're at a bar where we're about to meet... 394 00:15:24,254 --> 00:15:27,679 I, not we. You're narrating, remember. 395 00:15:27,721 --> 00:15:28,512 - Sorry. - It's okay. 396 00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,569 David is at a bar where he's about to meet Abby 397 00:15:30,611 --> 00:15:31,889 for the first time. 398 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,639 David, why don't you tell Abby, 399 00:15:33,681 --> 00:15:35,317 tell her what you think she does. 400 00:15:35,359 --> 00:15:37,704 I told her that was a filmmaker. 401 00:15:39,138 --> 00:15:41,818 Oh God. You told her what this is? 402 00:15:41,860 --> 00:15:42,651 You told her about this? 403 00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:44,379 Yeah, told her the truth. 404 00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:45,339 Told her everything, man. 405 00:15:45,381 --> 00:15:47,484 Might as well end the film now. 406 00:15:48,591 --> 00:15:49,424 David? 407 00:15:52,481 --> 00:15:54,269 Hey, how are you? 408 00:15:54,311 --> 00:15:55,144 Good. 409 00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:03,229 Do you mind if I actually film you? 410 00:16:03,271 --> 00:16:05,519 I'm sorry, oh my god, I just realized 411 00:16:05,561 --> 00:16:06,729 I didn't even tell you about this. 412 00:16:06,771 --> 00:16:07,884 It's a work thing. 413 00:16:09,081 --> 00:16:11,224 If you want me to, I can stop. 414 00:16:12,311 --> 00:16:13,429 What kind of movie are you making 415 00:16:13,471 --> 00:16:14,414 that involves me? 416 00:16:15,581 --> 00:16:17,884 I mean, it could be a documentary. 417 00:16:20,711 --> 00:16:22,829 You're right, that was dumb, that was really stupid. 418 00:16:22,871 --> 00:16:24,021 It's not a documentary. 419 00:16:24,862 --> 00:16:25,979 Look, I'm just gonna go. 420 00:16:26,021 --> 00:16:28,454 No, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm very sorry. 421 00:16:29,830 --> 00:16:30,869 - Please don't go. - Do you work in movies 422 00:16:30,911 --> 00:16:31,702 or not? 423 00:16:31,744 --> 00:16:32,874 I do work in movies. 424 00:16:33,962 --> 00:16:36,124 I work in the film industry. 425 00:16:37,466 --> 00:16:40,339 I'm a scout and that's what I was doing on , 426 00:16:40,381 --> 00:16:43,035 I wasn't really originally looking for a date. 427 00:16:43,077 --> 00:16:45,504 But I came across you and 428 00:16:48,761 --> 00:16:51,029 - you seemed... - What are you scouting? 429 00:16:51,071 --> 00:16:55,744 It's for this Brad Pitt and Edward Norton movie. 430 00:16:56,691 --> 00:16:59,379 Okay, so her profile said she loves "Fight Club" 431 00:16:59,421 --> 00:17:01,119 which is actually really perfect. 432 00:17:01,161 --> 00:17:03,394 It also said she's super ambitious. 433 00:17:04,381 --> 00:17:06,431 This is very unprofessional, I'm sorry. 434 00:17:07,451 --> 00:17:08,419 I shouldn't do this. 435 00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:10,854 So, I could be in a movie? 436 00:17:13,361 --> 00:17:15,059 I really don't want to lead you on. 437 00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:16,379 No, please. 438 00:17:16,421 --> 00:17:17,212 What do I have to do? 439 00:17:17,254 --> 00:17:19,179 I mean, I won't put out or anything, 440 00:17:19,221 --> 00:17:21,678 but you seem really interesting. 441 00:17:24,684 --> 00:17:26,762 I can't do this. 442 00:17:26,804 --> 00:17:30,299 You know what? I'm sorry, I can't do this. 443 00:17:30,341 --> 00:17:31,174 You're fine. 444 00:17:33,196 --> 00:17:35,863 Hey, what the fuck, man? 445 00:17:41,565 --> 00:17:44,902 Well, you're not gonna believe this. 446 00:17:44,944 --> 00:17:47,194 Left the bar two minutes ago and where's Sam? 447 00:17:52,501 --> 00:17:53,334 Nowhere. 448 00:17:56,701 --> 00:17:59,023 Fuck it, I'm gonna wait. 449 00:17:59,065 --> 00:18:00,539 Yeah, that guy can be predatory, 450 00:18:00,581 --> 00:18:01,899 I've seen him around here a few times. 451 00:18:01,941 --> 00:18:03,891 Yeah, I totally got that vibe. 452 00:18:05,931 --> 00:18:07,649 Hey, Sam. 453 00:18:07,691 --> 00:18:08,999 I was just talking to this guy, 454 00:18:09,041 --> 00:18:12,032 but if you wanna still talk about that movie, and about 455 00:18:12,074 --> 00:18:14,489 - the casting and stuff. - Sam, we need to talk. 456 00:18:14,531 --> 00:18:15,790 You guys know each other? 457 00:18:15,832 --> 00:18:17,058 - No. - No, 458 00:18:17,100 --> 00:18:19,889 no, never seen him before in my life. 459 00:18:19,931 --> 00:18:22,691 Let's go guy, I don't know. 460 00:18:22,733 --> 00:18:25,481 Yeah, I'll be back. 461 00:18:29,701 --> 00:18:31,529 You fucking honed in the second... 462 00:18:31,571 --> 00:18:34,009 Hey! I did not hone in. 463 00:18:34,051 --> 00:18:35,219 I did not hone in, okay? 464 00:18:35,261 --> 00:18:36,829 A, that part of the documentary was over 465 00:18:36,871 --> 00:18:37,662 'cause you walked out. 466 00:18:37,704 --> 00:18:39,159 And then I came right back in. 467 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,739 I mean, is this your fucking plan, man? 468 00:18:40,781 --> 00:18:42,389 Use me to get gullible girls? 469 00:18:42,431 --> 00:18:43,539 No, listen. 470 00:18:43,581 --> 00:18:44,372 B, all right, 471 00:18:44,414 --> 00:18:45,609 I was trying to smooth things out 472 00:18:45,651 --> 00:18:46,442 'cause she was weirded out 473 00:18:46,484 --> 00:18:47,649 when you creeped out on her. 474 00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:48,482 Exactly. 475 00:18:48,524 --> 00:18:50,329 Make the fucking movie yourself. 476 00:18:50,371 --> 00:18:51,162 Hey, man. 477 00:18:51,204 --> 00:18:52,799 No, no, no, listen, listen. 478 00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,029 I was trying to get her reaction, okay? 479 00:18:54,071 --> 00:18:56,019 I was trying to record it for you, okay? 480 00:18:56,061 --> 00:18:57,569 So you could see, she was weirded out, 481 00:18:57,611 --> 00:18:59,349 she was gonna report you, David. 482 00:18:59,391 --> 00:19:01,219 That is what I'm worried about, man. 483 00:19:01,261 --> 00:19:02,749 I can't fucking do this. 484 00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:04,066 You've been doing it for ages. 485 00:19:04,108 --> 00:19:06,222 Not in front of a camera. Not for people to watch. 486 00:19:06,264 --> 00:19:07,549 This is getting in my head, 487 00:19:07,591 --> 00:19:10,149 it's making me act fucking weird, man. 488 00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:11,869 If I am not confident, 489 00:19:11,911 --> 00:19:13,709 I can not do this. 490 00:19:13,751 --> 00:19:15,509 Listen, timid is good, okay? 491 00:19:15,551 --> 00:19:16,709 Girls like timid. 492 00:19:16,751 --> 00:19:18,689 They say they like confidence, but they don't, 493 00:19:18,731 --> 00:19:19,936 they like timid. 494 00:19:21,951 --> 00:19:25,674 No. For the most part, girls do not like timid. 495 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:28,082 Well, guess what, man? 496 00:19:28,124 --> 00:19:28,957 It got me her number. 497 00:19:32,021 --> 00:19:32,812 Sam. 498 00:19:32,854 --> 00:19:34,449 Yeah, no, I'm just kidding. 499 00:19:34,491 --> 00:19:35,979 I'm kidding. 500 00:19:36,021 --> 00:19:37,249 Okay? I didn't get her number, 501 00:19:37,291 --> 00:19:39,224 I just wanted to film your reaction. 502 00:19:40,821 --> 00:19:41,612 You're fucking filming. 503 00:19:41,654 --> 00:19:44,321 Why the fuck are you even filming right now, man? 504 00:19:44,363 --> 00:19:45,154 And I'm done. 505 00:19:45,196 --> 00:19:46,429 If you wanna do this on your own, that's fine. 506 00:19:46,471 --> 00:19:47,789 But I'm not fucking coming back. 507 00:19:47,831 --> 00:19:48,739 I'm done. 508 00:19:48,781 --> 00:19:49,619 David, come on, man. 509 00:19:49,661 --> 00:19:50,632 Don't be a jerk, man. 510 00:19:50,674 --> 00:19:51,999 Fuck off. 511 00:19:52,041 --> 00:19:54,741 I can't film this by myself, that's the whole point. 512 00:19:56,401 --> 00:19:58,634 I can't do scenes by myself. 513 00:20:00,304 --> 00:20:03,349 You can do this, you can do this. 514 00:20:03,391 --> 00:20:04,719 Okay, all right. 515 00:20:04,761 --> 00:20:06,259 Take one. 516 00:20:06,301 --> 00:20:07,134 Action. 517 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:10,479 So it's been six days 518 00:20:10,521 --> 00:20:13,373 since David's kicked us out of his fuck club. 519 00:20:13,415 --> 00:20:15,049 What is that? 520 00:20:15,091 --> 00:20:16,235 Oh, that's called something, 521 00:20:16,277 --> 00:20:18,519 when you use the title of a movie in the movie, 522 00:20:18,561 --> 00:20:19,759 what is that called? 523 00:20:19,801 --> 00:20:20,901 There's a word for it. 524 00:20:22,034 --> 00:20:22,825 Let me see. 525 00:20:26,598 --> 00:20:30,074 Entitlement, entitlement. 526 00:20:31,211 --> 00:20:32,284 That sounds phony. 527 00:20:33,751 --> 00:20:34,614 Take five. 528 00:20:35,641 --> 00:20:36,859 You got this. 529 00:20:36,901 --> 00:20:39,819 So, apparently the word is metonymy. 530 00:20:39,861 --> 00:20:43,709 So, David kicked us out of his phony, metonymical fuck club, 531 00:20:43,751 --> 00:20:44,859 and I've done my best, 532 00:20:44,901 --> 00:20:46,549 but I can't figure out a way to 533 00:20:46,591 --> 00:20:48,091 continue the film without him. 534 00:20:49,651 --> 00:20:52,279 There has been one pretty nice silver lining though. 535 00:20:52,321 --> 00:20:55,019 And I promise you, this was not a goal of mine, 536 00:20:55,061 --> 00:20:56,177 but it just turned out that... 537 00:20:57,498 --> 00:21:00,499 Oh, I think that's Abby there. 538 00:21:00,541 --> 00:21:01,374 One second. 539 00:21:06,681 --> 00:21:08,231 Maybe like just in case, right? 540 00:21:11,451 --> 00:21:12,558 I'm coming! 541 00:21:13,691 --> 00:21:14,524 One second. 542 00:21:15,651 --> 00:21:17,574 David wishes he had a crib like this. 543 00:21:19,651 --> 00:21:20,484 One second. 544 00:21:22,311 --> 00:21:25,679 Hey David, you like apples? 545 00:21:25,721 --> 00:21:27,029 How do you like these? 546 00:21:27,071 --> 00:21:28,899 Hey, I'm really glad you're home 547 00:21:28,941 --> 00:21:30,441 because I need to talk to you. 548 00:21:31,301 --> 00:21:32,649 Did you know I was coming? 549 00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:34,612 Yeah, I've been sitting here for a week filming. 550 00:21:34,654 --> 00:21:36,139 Huh, you wanna watch the footage? 551 00:21:36,181 --> 00:21:37,431 No, not really. 552 00:21:39,730 --> 00:21:42,294 Sam, I wanna help with the movie. 553 00:21:45,791 --> 00:21:46,929 Yeah, unfortunately I think I decided 554 00:21:46,971 --> 00:21:48,849 to go a different route with the movie. 555 00:21:48,891 --> 00:21:50,499 So, I don't know if you can really help out that much, 556 00:21:50,541 --> 00:21:52,564 but why the change of heart? 557 00:21:53,601 --> 00:21:54,879 I got a video I need to show you. 558 00:21:54,921 --> 00:21:56,599 Oh? All right. 559 00:21:56,641 --> 00:21:59,039 You've been making the movie without us, huh? 560 00:21:59,081 --> 00:22:00,609 No, I haven't, 561 00:22:00,651 --> 00:22:04,299 but this cannot go in the movie. 562 00:22:04,341 --> 00:22:06,004 You promise? You understand that? 563 00:22:06,941 --> 00:22:07,974 Of course, yeah. 564 00:22:09,941 --> 00:22:10,732 I promise. 565 00:22:10,774 --> 00:22:11,721 All right. 566 00:22:13,481 --> 00:22:14,409 Let me get it pulled up. 567 00:22:14,451 --> 00:22:16,701 - Give me time. - Yeah, do it. 568 00:22:23,186 --> 00:22:24,025 - You ready? - Yeah. 569 00:22:24,067 --> 00:22:24,900 Okay. 570 00:22:25,792 --> 00:22:26,822 A project that 571 00:22:26,864 --> 00:22:27,879 - you're filming yourself for. - Okay, how does this not 572 00:22:27,921 --> 00:22:30,599 constitute making the movie on your own? 573 00:22:30,641 --> 00:22:32,619 Because this isn't going in the movie. 574 00:22:32,661 --> 00:22:33,884 Well, why'd you film it? 575 00:22:34,791 --> 00:22:36,279 Because I hate failing at things 576 00:22:36,321 --> 00:22:37,914 and I wanted to see if I could. 577 00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:39,782 Okay. 578 00:22:39,824 --> 00:22:41,119 What'd you tell her? 579 00:22:41,161 --> 00:22:41,952 Just watch the movie. 580 00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:44,131 Well, I thought this wasn't for the movie. 581 00:22:45,441 --> 00:22:48,554 I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I just haven't seen any boobs yet, so. 582 00:22:49,521 --> 00:22:51,021 Okay, all right, just play it. 583 00:22:53,541 --> 00:22:55,379 It's archival purposes 584 00:22:55,421 --> 00:22:56,559 and it keeps it from being weird 585 00:22:56,601 --> 00:22:58,019 'cause if I was just recording you, 586 00:22:58,061 --> 00:23:00,699 I mean, that would be a little, that'd be creepy. 587 00:23:00,741 --> 00:23:03,399 And what exactly do you do in film? 588 00:23:03,441 --> 00:23:04,959 I'm a producer actually. 589 00:23:05,001 --> 00:23:07,892 But don't worry, I'm not trying to cast you or anything. 590 00:23:07,934 --> 00:23:11,330 I don't know. I think I'd be an okay actress. 591 00:23:11,372 --> 00:23:12,899 Okay. 592 00:23:12,941 --> 00:23:17,339 So if you're not, you know, why are you? 593 00:23:17,381 --> 00:23:18,579 It's just for research 594 00:23:18,621 --> 00:23:20,319 for a character that we're trying to develop. 595 00:23:20,361 --> 00:23:21,329 Oh, really? 596 00:23:21,371 --> 00:23:22,204 What's she like? 597 00:23:23,361 --> 00:23:26,284 Well, she's complicated. 598 00:23:27,411 --> 00:23:29,049 Thanks, I think. 599 00:23:29,091 --> 00:23:30,959 No, it's just research that we're doing 600 00:23:31,001 --> 00:23:34,019 instead of having some male guy 601 00:23:34,061 --> 00:23:36,949 just typing up how he thinks a woman should speak. 602 00:23:36,991 --> 00:23:40,364 You know? It's nice to know how an actual woman... 603 00:23:40,406 --> 00:23:42,029 Okay. 604 00:23:42,071 --> 00:23:42,919 Hey, what the hell? 605 00:23:42,961 --> 00:23:44,061 I didn't say anything. 606 00:23:45,221 --> 00:23:46,012 That's okay. 607 00:23:46,054 --> 00:23:48,211 There's nothing more that's really interesting. 608 00:23:49,211 --> 00:23:50,179 You didn't score, did you? 609 00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:52,054 No, I did, I did. 610 00:23:54,385 --> 00:23:55,529 Okay. 611 00:23:55,571 --> 00:23:59,259 What? You get your confidence back and now you want back in? 612 00:23:59,301 --> 00:24:02,139 I like her, like for real. 613 00:24:02,181 --> 00:24:03,759 What the fuck, David. 614 00:24:03,801 --> 00:24:05,799 I still wanna do the movie though. 615 00:24:05,841 --> 00:24:08,619 What is she, just super open-minded? 616 00:24:08,661 --> 00:24:12,284 No, she thinks I'm a filmmaker. 617 00:24:14,161 --> 00:24:15,426 Okay, so you're just gonna act around 618 00:24:15,468 --> 00:24:17,489 and make your lie a true thing? 619 00:24:17,531 --> 00:24:19,679 No, people make out in movies and stuff all the time 620 00:24:19,721 --> 00:24:20,599 so it doesn't matter. 621 00:24:20,641 --> 00:24:24,059 But the thing is, I know you want a documentary 622 00:24:24,101 --> 00:24:26,934 and if I'm in this, that means I'm gonna be acting. 623 00:24:28,161 --> 00:24:29,014 Is that okay? 624 00:24:31,297 --> 00:24:35,821 Hey, man, when is anyone ever not acting, right? 625 00:24:37,795 --> 00:24:38,619 All right, let's make a movie. 626 00:24:38,661 --> 00:24:40,839 Let's make a movie, right? 627 00:24:40,881 --> 00:24:42,156 We'll make a movie, it'll be a good movie. 628 00:24:42,198 --> 00:24:43,698 All right, I'm sweaty. 629 00:24:47,541 --> 00:24:49,084 So, let's do a little pop quiz. 630 00:24:50,111 --> 00:24:53,909 On this profile, which one do you think this is? 631 00:24:53,951 --> 00:24:56,699 Okay, hopefully her. 632 00:24:56,741 --> 00:24:59,029 - Which one? Her? - This one here, yeah. 633 00:24:59,071 --> 00:25:01,179 No, it is never her. 634 00:25:01,221 --> 00:25:02,012 Damn. 635 00:25:02,054 --> 00:25:03,251 Yeah. 636 00:25:03,293 --> 00:25:04,084 We're gonna do a little game. 637 00:25:04,126 --> 00:25:07,809 I want you to read the little subtext titles here 638 00:25:07,851 --> 00:25:08,986 and I'm gonna do a translation for you. 639 00:25:09,028 --> 00:25:10,509 I'm about to educate you. 640 00:25:10,551 --> 00:25:11,484 Okay, fun. 641 00:25:12,491 --> 00:25:16,329 Okay, quirky sense of humor. 642 00:25:16,371 --> 00:25:17,162 Not funny. 643 00:25:17,204 --> 00:25:19,464 Damn, no, she's not funny? Okay. 644 00:25:20,641 --> 00:25:21,829 No. 645 00:25:21,871 --> 00:25:24,321 All right. Very open-minded and outgoing. 646 00:25:25,481 --> 00:25:27,849 Anal sex is a possibility. 647 00:25:27,891 --> 00:25:28,682 Really? 648 00:25:28,724 --> 00:25:29,969 Yeah. 649 00:25:30,011 --> 00:25:31,342 Trust me on that one. 650 00:25:31,384 --> 00:25:32,997 I trust you. 651 00:25:33,039 --> 00:25:36,109 Okay, family oriented. 652 00:25:36,151 --> 00:25:37,519 That means she has a kid. 653 00:25:37,561 --> 00:25:38,352 No. 654 00:25:38,394 --> 00:25:39,185 Yes, I guarantee you. 655 00:25:39,227 --> 00:25:40,939 Go through those pictures, I bet you anything 656 00:25:40,981 --> 00:25:42,899 there's a picture of a kid in there. 657 00:25:42,941 --> 00:25:43,732 Yup, there is. 658 00:25:43,774 --> 00:25:44,565 - There's a kid. - I was right? 659 00:25:44,607 --> 00:25:46,699 - Nicely done, yeah. - See, called it. 660 00:25:46,741 --> 00:25:49,044 Oh, well, at least she's outgoing. 661 00:25:51,121 --> 00:25:53,021 - Right? - Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 662 00:25:53,911 --> 00:25:56,049 She's down for the butt-sucks. 663 00:25:56,091 --> 00:25:57,891 Oh, race, definitely not an issue. 664 00:26:00,031 --> 00:26:02,609 That means she doesn't get along with her parents. 665 00:26:02,651 --> 00:26:03,442 What? 666 00:26:03,484 --> 00:26:05,089 Mm-hmm. 667 00:26:05,131 --> 00:26:07,659 Okay, well, which one are you gonna talk to? 668 00:26:07,701 --> 00:26:08,709 All of them. 669 00:26:08,751 --> 00:26:09,579 Why? 670 00:26:09,621 --> 00:26:10,833 Probability. 671 00:26:10,875 --> 00:26:13,929 Do you tell these girls what you're doing? 672 00:26:13,971 --> 00:26:14,869 Yeah, of course. 673 00:26:14,911 --> 00:26:17,109 I'm always telling the truth. 674 00:26:17,151 --> 00:26:20,089 You, babe, are one in a million. 675 00:26:20,131 --> 00:26:21,924 Hmm, all right. 676 00:26:23,811 --> 00:26:25,849 Okay. What's next? 677 00:26:25,891 --> 00:26:28,259 Next, we do research. 678 00:26:28,301 --> 00:26:30,109 Okay, so, first thing you wanna do, 679 00:26:30,151 --> 00:26:32,669 is weed out the robots and trust me, 680 00:26:32,711 --> 00:26:34,598 there's a lot of fucking ro... 681 00:26:35,465 --> 00:26:37,015 All right, what's next? 682 00:26:38,581 --> 00:26:43,581 Next, we chat online and then if things work out there, 683 00:26:43,871 --> 00:26:45,074 we chat in person. 684 00:26:47,431 --> 00:26:49,164 Oh, look, she's a vet. 685 00:26:50,031 --> 00:26:52,849 That's awesome, you should one-up her and be a doctor. 686 00:26:52,891 --> 00:26:56,299 No, I shouldn't be a doctor. 687 00:26:56,341 --> 00:26:57,739 Okay, so I have to ask. 688 00:26:57,781 --> 00:27:00,163 Yes, they are for work. 689 00:27:00,205 --> 00:27:01,979 But you're a doctor, right? 690 00:27:02,021 --> 00:27:02,889 So? 691 00:27:02,931 --> 00:27:06,304 Well, sort of, I may have fibbed a little bit. 692 00:27:06,346 --> 00:27:07,439 I feel like, 693 00:27:07,481 --> 00:27:11,202 people judge me whenever they find out the truth. 694 00:27:11,244 --> 00:27:14,731 Oh my God, tell me about it. 695 00:27:14,773 --> 00:27:15,564 About what? 696 00:27:15,606 --> 00:27:16,469 Here we go. 697 00:27:16,511 --> 00:27:17,409 Look, this one says 698 00:27:17,451 --> 00:27:19,949 she just got out of a serious relationship. 699 00:27:19,991 --> 00:27:22,129 Yeah, she could be a grieve counselor, right? 700 00:27:22,171 --> 00:27:24,279 Oh, she's looking more like a lawyer. 701 00:27:24,321 --> 00:27:25,329 Ah, no, I can't be a lawyer. 702 00:27:25,371 --> 00:27:27,129 They're pretty much the only ones that don't lie. 703 00:27:27,171 --> 00:27:29,533 Am I in some kind of trouble, or? 704 00:27:29,575 --> 00:27:31,449 What? 705 00:27:31,491 --> 00:27:33,679 Is there a reason that you're filming me? 706 00:27:33,721 --> 00:27:35,144 Oh, I am so sorry. 707 00:27:36,981 --> 00:27:39,279 This was from the deposition. 708 00:27:39,321 --> 00:27:40,112 David? 709 00:27:40,154 --> 00:27:40,945 - Hi. - Hi. 710 00:27:40,987 --> 00:27:42,061 Hilary, how are you? 711 00:27:43,741 --> 00:27:45,349 Welcome, come have a seat. 712 00:27:45,391 --> 00:27:46,581 What's this? 713 00:27:47,593 --> 00:27:49,729 It's stupid, I know, 714 00:27:49,771 --> 00:27:51,739 and I probably shouldn't do it, 715 00:27:51,781 --> 00:27:54,884 but I feel like I might regret it if I don't. 716 00:27:55,891 --> 00:27:57,439 Would you mind if on tape, 717 00:27:57,481 --> 00:27:59,304 I asked you a series of questions? 718 00:28:00,511 --> 00:28:02,109 I have a client who's really nervous 719 00:28:02,151 --> 00:28:03,499 about how the jury's gonna perceive her. 720 00:28:03,541 --> 00:28:05,629 I am a cosmetic surgeon. 721 00:28:05,671 --> 00:28:07,689 So why are you filming me? 722 00:28:07,731 --> 00:28:09,679 Is this a before and after video? 723 00:28:09,721 --> 00:28:11,309 You gonna fix my face? 724 00:28:11,351 --> 00:28:12,142 No, no, no, look. 725 00:28:12,184 --> 00:28:15,129 It's just, I'm sentimental, okay? 726 00:28:15,171 --> 00:28:18,439 And I figured, if you and I hit it off, 727 00:28:18,481 --> 00:28:20,483 how awesome would it be, 728 00:28:20,525 --> 00:28:23,309 if we had the first time we ever met, on tape? 729 00:28:23,351 --> 00:28:27,209 Wow, you're totally serious. 730 00:28:27,251 --> 00:28:28,402 Yeah. 731 00:28:28,444 --> 00:28:29,557 I mean, you and me, 732 00:28:29,599 --> 00:28:31,094 we can always go back and look at the first time 733 00:28:31,136 --> 00:28:32,229 you ever laid eyes on me. 734 00:28:32,271 --> 00:28:35,189 Yeah and I doubted the shit out of you. 735 00:28:35,231 --> 00:28:38,454 So, let's start by stating your name. 736 00:28:39,461 --> 00:28:40,861 My name is Katrina. 737 00:28:42,231 --> 00:28:43,809 I'm sorry, I thought you said your name was Kayla. 738 00:28:43,851 --> 00:28:47,784 Oh, well, that's how I call myself, is that okay? 739 00:28:48,731 --> 00:28:50,447 Remind me not to call you up as a witness. 740 00:28:50,489 --> 00:28:51,569 Okay. 741 00:28:51,611 --> 00:28:52,767 So, what is your favorite? 742 00:28:55,651 --> 00:28:57,294 Did you just fake a sneeze? 743 00:28:59,871 --> 00:29:00,964 Well, gesundheit. 744 00:29:02,321 --> 00:29:04,889 Did you know, that in Germany, 745 00:29:04,931 --> 00:29:07,009 gez is the German word for weight. 746 00:29:07,051 --> 00:29:09,139 So, whenever you went to go see your doctor, 747 00:29:09,181 --> 00:29:11,419 he would ask you for your weight and your height. 748 00:29:11,461 --> 00:29:13,724 Your, gesundheit. 749 00:29:14,931 --> 00:29:15,781 Really? Huh? 750 00:29:18,231 --> 00:29:21,479 So why would she fake sneeze, I don't get it. 751 00:29:21,521 --> 00:29:23,889 Sneezing is the most honest expression 752 00:29:23,931 --> 00:29:25,279 a person can possibly do. 753 00:29:25,321 --> 00:29:26,919 So, if they look cute sneezing, 754 00:29:26,961 --> 00:29:30,081 they will look cute doing literally anything else. 755 00:29:31,992 --> 00:29:34,185 Okay, all right. 756 00:29:34,227 --> 00:29:36,142 Is he with you? 757 00:29:36,184 --> 00:29:37,729 What? 758 00:29:37,771 --> 00:29:40,014 Is he helping you sentimentalize? 759 00:29:42,216 --> 00:29:43,049 No. 760 00:29:44,661 --> 00:29:45,639 Hey buddy. 761 00:29:45,681 --> 00:29:46,472 What? 762 00:29:46,514 --> 00:29:47,431 Are you filming us? 763 00:29:48,381 --> 00:29:50,515 Are you filming us? 764 00:29:50,557 --> 00:29:52,842 No, I'm just watching a movie. 765 00:29:52,884 --> 00:29:54,253 Now we'll be able to remember the first time 766 00:29:54,295 --> 00:29:56,244 we told a creeper to fuck off, together. 767 00:29:58,821 --> 00:30:00,298 So, KaylaKat, 768 00:30:03,271 --> 00:30:05,424 would you like to come back to my office? 769 00:30:07,005 --> 00:30:12,005 Wouldn't that be a conflict of interest? 770 00:30:14,020 --> 00:30:14,854 Mr. Lawyer. 771 00:30:16,021 --> 00:30:19,039 I think interests are only interesting 772 00:30:19,081 --> 00:30:20,281 when they're conflicted. 773 00:30:25,261 --> 00:30:26,396 Great fucking line. 774 00:30:26,438 --> 00:30:27,639 I know, right? 775 00:30:27,681 --> 00:30:28,714 Get out of here. 776 00:30:30,481 --> 00:30:31,780 Did you script it? 777 00:30:31,822 --> 00:30:33,011 No, 778 00:30:33,053 --> 00:30:35,851 I have been waiting fucking forever to say it though. 779 00:30:37,973 --> 00:30:40,089 Okay. All right. 780 00:30:40,131 --> 00:30:41,899 On to the interesting interest. 781 00:30:41,941 --> 00:30:44,132 Are you filming this too? 782 00:30:44,174 --> 00:30:45,274 I mean, should I be? 783 00:30:46,271 --> 00:30:47,104 No. 784 00:30:48,256 --> 00:30:49,568 Maybe so. 785 00:30:49,610 --> 00:30:50,999 That way, whenever I'm old and decrepit 786 00:30:51,041 --> 00:30:52,939 and have erectile dysfunction. 787 00:30:52,981 --> 00:30:54,429 You're smoking hot at 85, 788 00:30:54,471 --> 00:30:55,469 we can always look back at the days 789 00:30:55,511 --> 00:30:56,925 when I was able to satisfy you. 790 00:30:56,967 --> 00:30:58,281 Oh, you think you will? 791 00:30:58,323 --> 00:30:59,323 I hope so. 792 00:31:00,441 --> 00:31:01,274 Okay. 793 00:31:02,245 --> 00:31:03,411 Really? 794 00:31:12,664 --> 00:31:15,983 All right, camera's rolling. 795 00:31:16,025 --> 00:31:18,051 I thought you said you were six one. 796 00:31:18,093 --> 00:31:20,904 That was before the surgery. 797 00:31:20,946 --> 00:31:22,854 I'm just messing with you, everything works fine. 798 00:31:22,896 --> 00:31:25,216 Oh my God. 799 00:31:33,610 --> 00:31:34,401 Okay. 800 00:31:34,443 --> 00:31:35,234 Hey! 801 00:31:35,276 --> 00:31:36,839 I'm sorry, can we just talk about this high thing 802 00:31:36,881 --> 00:31:37,714 for a second? 803 00:31:39,111 --> 00:31:40,599 Yeah, if we must, sure. 804 00:31:40,641 --> 00:31:43,399 Okay, so I lie and I say that I'm two inches taller 805 00:31:43,441 --> 00:31:44,232 than I really am. 806 00:31:44,274 --> 00:31:45,499 And they catch you. 807 00:31:45,541 --> 00:31:47,309 Yeah, sure, they do. 808 00:31:47,351 --> 00:31:48,429 What else is a lie? 809 00:31:48,471 --> 00:31:49,649 What? 810 00:31:49,691 --> 00:31:51,129 Bras. 811 00:31:51,171 --> 00:31:52,334 Bras are a lie. 812 00:31:53,211 --> 00:31:54,319 Have you ever taken a girl's bra off 813 00:31:54,361 --> 00:31:55,669 and not felt disappointment? 814 00:31:55,711 --> 00:31:56,999 Yes, all the time. 815 00:31:57,041 --> 00:32:00,909 Okay, so, the bra is there obviously to sell 816 00:32:00,951 --> 00:32:02,894 the fake size and shape of a boob. 817 00:32:04,671 --> 00:32:06,469 Breast in show. 818 00:32:06,511 --> 00:32:07,599 Right. 819 00:32:07,641 --> 00:32:09,249 So why is tall, dark and handsome 820 00:32:09,291 --> 00:32:12,096 a perfectly acceptable thing for a woman to look for? 821 00:32:12,138 --> 00:32:14,869 But a big breasted blonde is not an acceptable thing 822 00:32:14,911 --> 00:32:16,609 for a guy to look for? 823 00:32:16,651 --> 00:32:18,859 Neither trait matters. 824 00:32:18,901 --> 00:32:20,779 Okay, I see you're passionate about this, 825 00:32:20,821 --> 00:32:21,612 I appreciate it. 826 00:32:21,654 --> 00:32:23,679 But let's do this. Let's just keep playing. 827 00:32:23,721 --> 00:32:24,512 Okay? 828 00:32:24,554 --> 00:32:26,519 And we'll see if we're disappointed. 829 00:32:26,561 --> 00:32:28,289 Actually, well, no, hers are great. 830 00:32:28,331 --> 00:32:29,639 There was no disappointment there, 831 00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:31,849 but I have this other thing to show you. 832 00:32:31,891 --> 00:32:33,269 Okay, so check this out. 833 00:32:33,311 --> 00:32:34,169 Okay. 834 00:32:34,211 --> 00:32:35,539 What is it? Is it a sex scene? 835 00:32:35,581 --> 00:32:36,372 Yeah. 836 00:32:36,414 --> 00:32:37,475 - Really? - No. 837 00:32:37,517 --> 00:32:39,789 Okay, I'm filming your sex scenes 838 00:32:39,831 --> 00:32:40,622 from now on. 839 00:32:40,664 --> 00:32:41,849 Sure, whatever. 840 00:32:41,891 --> 00:32:43,441 All right, check this girl out. 841 00:32:45,251 --> 00:32:46,474 Okay, now look her. 842 00:32:47,731 --> 00:32:49,569 What is she lying about? 843 00:32:49,611 --> 00:32:50,444 Her gez? 844 00:32:52,563 --> 00:32:53,354 Her what? 845 00:32:53,396 --> 00:32:54,312 Her weight. 846 00:32:54,354 --> 00:32:55,879 I don't know, is she an A cup? 847 00:32:55,921 --> 00:32:56,712 I don't know. 848 00:32:56,754 --> 00:32:57,545 Yeah. 849 00:32:57,587 --> 00:32:58,779 Well, actually, no, I don't know. 850 00:32:58,821 --> 00:33:00,749 Watch, just check this out. 851 00:33:00,791 --> 00:33:02,409 You can stop pretending, you know? 852 00:33:02,451 --> 00:33:03,429 What? 853 00:33:03,471 --> 00:33:05,789 Stop pretending not to notice. 854 00:33:05,831 --> 00:33:06,784 You can just ask. 855 00:33:08,382 --> 00:33:09,929 Oh, okay. 856 00:33:09,971 --> 00:33:12,334 So, how did it happen? 857 00:33:13,231 --> 00:33:15,299 Polar bear attack when I was a kid. 858 00:33:15,341 --> 00:33:16,649 Really? 859 00:33:16,691 --> 00:33:18,829 No, would be a cool story though, right? 860 00:33:18,871 --> 00:33:21,214 No, yeah, that would've been a great story. 861 00:33:21,256 --> 00:33:23,367 Get it? Cool story? 862 00:33:23,409 --> 00:33:25,742 Oh my God, that was funny. 863 00:33:27,143 --> 00:33:28,689 Can I ask you a serious question? 864 00:33:28,731 --> 00:33:30,129 Yeah, I'd love that. 865 00:33:30,171 --> 00:33:32,789 How come you don't show it on your profile? 866 00:33:32,831 --> 00:33:34,009 I used to, 867 00:33:34,051 --> 00:33:37,409 but then all I really got were amputee fetishists, 868 00:33:37,451 --> 00:33:39,459 which is fine. 869 00:33:39,501 --> 00:33:44,501 But now, when I use it as a reveal, it's a test. 870 00:33:45,061 --> 00:33:47,049 Are they into me, the person? 871 00:33:47,091 --> 00:33:49,774 Or me, the body they were expecting? 872 00:33:51,471 --> 00:33:52,829 Be real with me. 873 00:33:52,871 --> 00:33:54,038 What happened? 874 00:33:55,305 --> 00:33:58,009 I was just born without it. 875 00:33:58,051 --> 00:33:58,842 No shit. 876 00:33:58,884 --> 00:34:02,774 Yeah, so, not as interesting, hence the stories. 877 00:34:04,831 --> 00:34:07,406 Did you wanna hold my hand? 878 00:34:12,311 --> 00:34:14,069 What? 879 00:34:14,111 --> 00:34:16,019 That's a little weird, right? 880 00:34:16,061 --> 00:34:17,629 The fact that you were having a conversation 881 00:34:17,671 --> 00:34:20,559 about the subject of the film with one of its subjects? 882 00:34:20,601 --> 00:34:21,629 No. 883 00:34:21,671 --> 00:34:23,109 That she didn't say anything about the arm, 884 00:34:23,151 --> 00:34:23,979 like that upfront. 885 00:34:24,021 --> 00:34:25,814 Like that is weird, right? 886 00:34:27,803 --> 00:34:28,594 I don't know. 887 00:34:28,636 --> 00:34:30,319 Maybe she doesn't wanna be defined as that, right? 888 00:34:30,361 --> 00:34:31,369 I mean, it's like... 889 00:34:31,411 --> 00:34:32,202 Okay, look. 890 00:34:32,244 --> 00:34:33,869 Here's a hypothetical, okay? 891 00:34:33,911 --> 00:34:36,669 Let's say you were dating this chick 892 00:34:36,711 --> 00:34:38,681 and then one day you slept with her 893 00:34:40,271 --> 00:34:41,999 and then eventually down the line, 894 00:34:42,041 --> 00:34:43,894 you found out she was a dude. 895 00:34:44,891 --> 00:34:45,974 Would you be pissed? 896 00:34:47,211 --> 00:34:49,699 Well, I guess that means they did the surgery 897 00:34:49,741 --> 00:34:52,839 really, really well, if I didn't notice, right? 898 00:34:52,881 --> 00:34:54,359 But would you be pissed? 899 00:34:54,401 --> 00:34:56,842 I mean, that is something she should have, or he, 900 00:34:56,884 --> 00:34:58,559 or whatever, should have told you from the front. 901 00:34:58,601 --> 00:34:59,489 From the very beginning. 902 00:34:59,531 --> 00:35:00,559 Yeah, well, okay, 903 00:35:00,601 --> 00:35:03,009 but it's one of those things where 904 00:35:03,051 --> 00:35:05,594 it doesn't wanna be identified as that. 905 00:35:07,231 --> 00:35:08,739 Okay, let's say you're a convict, right? 906 00:35:08,781 --> 00:35:11,169 At what point is that something that you admit? 907 00:35:11,211 --> 00:35:13,729 Like, at what point do you go on your match.com profile 908 00:35:13,771 --> 00:35:16,212 and put, "Oh, by the way I do manslaughter." 909 00:35:16,254 --> 00:35:17,862 Yeah, exactly. 910 00:35:17,904 --> 00:35:22,439 At what point do you say, "Oh, hey, I'm a rapist." 911 00:35:22,481 --> 00:35:23,698 When she says, "No." 912 00:35:26,251 --> 00:35:28,189 Okay, back to left-handed Lara. 913 00:35:28,231 --> 00:35:29,759 Now who's the asshole? 914 00:35:29,801 --> 00:35:31,989 What? No, it seems like you two hit it off. 915 00:35:32,031 --> 00:35:36,169 Do you think there's some prospects of maybe... 916 00:35:36,211 --> 00:35:37,869 What? Like sex? 917 00:35:37,911 --> 00:35:38,879 I mean, or more? 918 00:35:38,921 --> 00:35:39,871 - I don't know - No. 919 00:35:40,714 --> 00:35:41,839 Why? It's because of the arm? 920 00:35:41,881 --> 00:35:43,969 No, it's because of Crystal. 921 00:35:44,011 --> 00:35:45,889 Oh, fuck. 922 00:35:45,931 --> 00:35:47,689 Fuck, I keep forgetting about Crystal. 923 00:35:47,731 --> 00:35:48,699 Is that still a thing? 924 00:35:48,741 --> 00:35:49,964 Yeah, is it? 925 00:35:50,006 --> 00:35:50,936 Jesus! 926 00:35:50,978 --> 00:35:53,109 Fuck, I did not hear you come in. 927 00:35:53,151 --> 00:35:54,509 Yeah, I noticed. 928 00:35:54,551 --> 00:35:56,909 You also didn't hear me when I called 929 00:35:56,951 --> 00:35:59,749 or hear me when I agreed to be in a relationship with you. 930 00:35:59,791 --> 00:36:01,614 What the fuck is this? 931 00:36:03,421 --> 00:36:06,557 Well, I told you I was working on a movie. 932 00:36:06,599 --> 00:36:07,390 This is the movie. 933 00:36:07,432 --> 00:36:10,449 Uh-huh. You told me you were a producer. 934 00:36:10,491 --> 00:36:13,241 You didn't say you'd be sleeping with a bunch of girls. 935 00:36:14,429 --> 00:36:17,129 You obviously don't know what a producer does. 936 00:36:19,251 --> 00:36:22,019 So what? You're acting now? 937 00:36:22,061 --> 00:36:23,139 Is that what you're gonna tell me? 938 00:36:23,181 --> 00:36:24,824 These are all performances? 939 00:36:25,731 --> 00:36:26,873 That's exactly what this is. 940 00:36:26,915 --> 00:36:30,029 These are unscripted performances. 941 00:36:30,071 --> 00:36:31,849 We're shooting a social satire. 942 00:36:31,891 --> 00:36:34,029 Yeah, Breast in Show. 943 00:36:34,071 --> 00:36:36,059 Let me see the script. 944 00:36:36,101 --> 00:36:37,951 No, well, there is no script. 945 00:36:38,831 --> 00:36:40,539 It's a lot like "Borat." 946 00:36:40,581 --> 00:36:42,869 It's a completely unscripted documentary, 947 00:36:42,911 --> 00:36:44,169 but it's also a movie. 948 00:36:44,211 --> 00:36:46,866 It is absolutely cutting-edge. 949 00:36:46,908 --> 00:36:49,504 "Borat" won an Oscar for best screenplay. 950 00:36:50,561 --> 00:36:51,569 How do you know that? 951 00:36:51,611 --> 00:36:53,269 Because I'm into movies. 952 00:36:53,311 --> 00:36:55,199 Or did David neglect to tell you that? 953 00:36:55,241 --> 00:36:56,318 Oh, oh. 954 00:36:58,271 --> 00:36:59,971 No, he didn't technically tell me. 955 00:37:03,551 --> 00:37:05,643 You showed him the tape, didn't you? 956 00:37:05,685 --> 00:37:06,476 What? 957 00:37:06,518 --> 00:37:08,791 No, fuck, Crystal, wait! 958 00:37:13,794 --> 00:37:15,627 Well he should have. 959 00:37:35,359 --> 00:37:36,359 There we go. 960 00:37:42,231 --> 00:37:43,064 Go ahead. 961 00:37:45,401 --> 00:37:46,469 We have a problem. 962 00:37:46,511 --> 00:37:47,399 Yeah, let me guess. 963 00:37:47,441 --> 00:37:49,869 Your girlfriend won't let you be in the movie anymore? 964 00:37:49,911 --> 00:37:51,919 Not exactly, no. 965 00:37:51,961 --> 00:37:53,739 Okay, you broke up with her 966 00:37:53,781 --> 00:37:55,409 and now you want out? 967 00:37:55,451 --> 00:37:56,284 No. 968 00:37:57,881 --> 00:37:58,781 All right, what? 969 00:38:01,401 --> 00:38:02,364 She wants in. 970 00:38:04,401 --> 00:38:05,229 Okay, yeah. 971 00:38:05,271 --> 00:38:06,062 Okay, great. 972 00:38:06,104 --> 00:38:06,895 Associate producer credit coming her way, 973 00:38:06,937 --> 00:38:07,839 - easy. - No, look, 974 00:38:07,881 --> 00:38:09,014 she wants to be in it. 975 00:38:12,421 --> 00:38:13,212 Okay, yeah. 976 00:38:13,254 --> 00:38:15,009 We'll add the clip of her interrupting us. 977 00:38:15,051 --> 00:38:17,409 I just add that in and that'll... 978 00:38:17,451 --> 00:38:19,269 No, we're not gonna include that clip into the movie, 979 00:38:19,311 --> 00:38:22,699 she actually wants to play a role, like a part. 980 00:38:22,741 --> 00:38:23,539 A part? 981 00:38:23,581 --> 00:38:25,049 Yeah. 982 00:38:25,091 --> 00:38:25,969 David, that will never work. 983 00:38:26,011 --> 00:38:28,229 Do you see it? That destroys the integrity of the film. 984 00:38:28,271 --> 00:38:30,689 If she starts acting, it ruins everything. 985 00:38:30,731 --> 00:38:31,522 I mean, wasn't it you who said, 986 00:38:31,564 --> 00:38:33,659 "When is anyone ever not acting?" 987 00:38:33,701 --> 00:38:34,901 No, I never said that. 988 00:38:39,661 --> 00:38:42,149 I think it would be good. 989 00:38:42,191 --> 00:38:44,904 She'll be adding another level to the lie. 990 00:38:47,391 --> 00:38:48,182 Okay. 991 00:38:48,224 --> 00:38:50,979 We'll add this clip, just so everyone knows she's acting. 992 00:38:51,021 --> 00:38:51,909 That'll work. 993 00:38:51,951 --> 00:38:53,839 No, that's not. 994 00:38:53,881 --> 00:38:55,252 Let's just give her a restaurant scene, 995 00:38:55,294 --> 00:38:59,424 just a standard, simple, restaurant scene. 996 00:39:03,241 --> 00:39:06,196 Okay, one scene. That's it. 997 00:39:12,134 --> 00:39:12,925 - Hey. - Hey. 998 00:39:12,967 --> 00:39:14,829 What are you doing? 999 00:39:14,871 --> 00:39:16,454 We're making a scene. 1000 00:39:17,551 --> 00:39:18,441 No, we're not. 1001 00:39:18,483 --> 00:39:20,689 What scene are we doing? 1002 00:39:20,731 --> 00:39:21,769 My scene. 1003 00:39:21,811 --> 00:39:23,489 Okay, what happens in this scene? 1004 00:39:23,531 --> 00:39:26,099 Can I go get dressed before we shoot the scene? 1005 00:39:26,141 --> 00:39:27,439 This isn't the scene, 1006 00:39:27,481 --> 00:39:29,559 this is just behind the scenes. 1007 00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:32,919 I'm gonna go get dressed, and is that okay? 1008 00:39:32,961 --> 00:39:35,284 Check this out. 1009 00:39:37,451 --> 00:39:38,509 What was that? 1010 00:39:38,551 --> 00:39:41,889 I thought we could do the gesundheit bit in our scene. 1011 00:39:41,931 --> 00:39:43,569 I mean, we already shot that bit. 1012 00:39:43,611 --> 00:39:46,859 Yeah, but we'll do it better. 1013 00:39:46,901 --> 00:39:47,844 It'll be good. 1014 00:39:49,421 --> 00:39:52,759 Well, it's not supposed to be good. 1015 00:39:52,801 --> 00:39:54,069 It's supposed to be real 1016 00:39:54,111 --> 00:39:55,949 and it's original and that's the point. 1017 00:39:55,991 --> 00:39:57,284 Nothing is original. 1018 00:39:58,491 --> 00:40:00,504 Okay, you're right. 1019 00:40:01,571 --> 00:40:02,362 Here's what I'm gonna do. 1020 00:40:02,404 --> 00:40:04,579 I am going to, real quick, 1021 00:40:04,621 --> 00:40:06,819 I'm gonna go change and then I'm gonna come back 1022 00:40:06,861 --> 00:40:08,499 and then together, 1023 00:40:08,541 --> 00:40:11,274 we are gonna write a good unoriginal scene. 1024 00:40:12,728 --> 00:40:14,644 Can it take place at the park? 1025 00:40:18,091 --> 00:40:22,369 So David, do you wanna tell me why you're filming us? 1026 00:40:22,411 --> 00:40:25,259 Yeah, and if you don't want me to, 1027 00:40:25,301 --> 00:40:26,319 we can stop at 1028 00:40:26,361 --> 00:40:27,459 - any point in time. - Oh, no. 1029 00:40:27,501 --> 00:40:28,292 It's okay. 1030 00:40:28,334 --> 00:40:31,049 I just feel like I look weird on camera. 1031 00:40:31,091 --> 00:40:34,046 Oh no, you look fantastic. 1032 00:40:34,088 --> 00:40:35,259 And that's just it, 1033 00:40:35,301 --> 00:40:37,809 I'm doing an art installation piece, 1034 00:40:37,851 --> 00:40:40,017 called Real People, Real Places. 1035 00:40:40,059 --> 00:40:42,109 Really? 1036 00:40:42,151 --> 00:40:43,261 Yeah it's... 1037 00:40:44,510 --> 00:40:47,759 And then you're supposed to do that bit, you know? 1038 00:40:47,801 --> 00:40:48,889 - It's okay. - Oh, yeah you're right. 1039 00:40:48,931 --> 00:40:50,089 Just take it back. 1040 00:40:50,131 --> 00:40:51,881 We're good, we're good to go, yeah. 1041 00:40:54,811 --> 00:40:56,949 I'm doing an art installation piece. 1042 00:40:56,991 --> 00:41:00,394 It's called Real People, Real Places. 1043 00:41:01,231 --> 00:41:02,301 Really? 1044 00:41:02,343 --> 00:41:04,605 Yeah, really. 1045 00:41:05,671 --> 00:41:08,789 It's about how beautiful people act in their natural... 1046 00:41:08,831 --> 00:41:11,146 So, do you need me to tell you a little bit about myself? 1047 00:41:11,188 --> 00:41:11,979 Sure. 1048 00:41:12,021 --> 00:41:13,379 Why don't you tell me about yourself? 1049 00:41:13,421 --> 00:41:16,044 Yeah, okay. 1050 00:41:25,021 --> 00:41:25,812 Gesundheit! 1051 00:41:27,341 --> 00:41:30,998 Did you know that gez is the German word for weight? 1052 00:41:38,290 --> 00:41:39,367 Hey, I was thinking... 1053 00:41:46,091 --> 00:41:48,264 You seem a lot taller than you said online. 1054 00:41:53,031 --> 00:41:55,626 You know, I've heard it's a lunar thing? 1055 00:41:58,981 --> 00:42:00,531 You should turn the camera off. 1056 00:42:01,922 --> 00:42:02,713 What? 1057 00:42:02,755 --> 00:42:04,344 You should turn the camera off. 1058 00:42:06,296 --> 00:42:07,129 Okay. 1059 00:42:11,241 --> 00:42:12,459 Is it off? 1060 00:42:12,501 --> 00:42:13,334 Yup. 1061 00:42:16,251 --> 00:42:17,801 We should have sex. 1062 00:42:18,921 --> 00:42:21,706 Okay, wait, like for movie? Or like? 1063 00:42:21,748 --> 00:42:22,539 No, for real. 1064 00:42:22,581 --> 00:42:23,865 Let's have sex, let's do it. 1065 00:42:23,907 --> 00:42:24,698 For real. 1066 00:42:24,740 --> 00:42:27,804 Okay, I can't tell if you're being Crystal right now? 1067 00:42:28,958 --> 00:42:30,549 I'm really confused. 1068 00:42:30,591 --> 00:42:32,189 Yes and no. 1069 00:42:32,231 --> 00:42:34,323 Sam's filming this, right? 1070 00:42:34,365 --> 00:42:36,203 Probably. 1071 00:42:40,638 --> 00:42:41,429 Okay. 1072 00:42:45,086 --> 00:42:46,336 Okay, so, like, 1073 00:42:48,452 --> 00:42:49,489 are you serious? 1074 00:42:49,531 --> 00:42:51,831 Shh, don't worry, I'm on the pill. 1075 00:42:53,501 --> 00:42:55,144 Oh, you had better not be lying. 1076 00:42:55,186 --> 00:42:57,049 No, never. 1077 00:42:57,091 --> 00:42:58,220 Crystal, I can't. 1078 00:42:58,262 --> 00:43:00,782 'Cause really, he can't hear us. 1079 00:43:00,824 --> 00:43:01,615 Yeah, I know. 1080 00:43:01,657 --> 00:43:02,448 Serious? 1081 00:43:02,490 --> 00:43:03,809 Uh-huh. 1082 00:43:03,851 --> 00:43:06,849 Oh! Hello, hi. 1083 00:43:06,891 --> 00:43:08,254 Oh, okay. 1084 00:43:10,821 --> 00:43:11,612 That's a thing. 1085 00:43:11,654 --> 00:43:12,487 Uh-huh. 1086 00:43:13,331 --> 00:43:14,929 Are the cameras set? 1087 00:43:14,971 --> 00:43:16,134 Yeah, they're fine. 1088 00:43:18,871 --> 00:43:20,149 So we have a bit of a problem. 1089 00:43:20,191 --> 00:43:21,849 Yeah, no shit. 1090 00:43:21,891 --> 00:43:23,099 You finally gonna tell me what happened 1091 00:43:23,141 --> 00:43:24,899 after you blocked out the camera the other night? 1092 00:43:24,941 --> 00:43:26,336 I'll show you. 1093 00:43:26,378 --> 00:43:27,928 You actually filmed it? 1094 00:43:31,061 --> 00:43:32,299 Did you hear me? 1095 00:43:32,341 --> 00:43:34,666 I'm sorry, what was that? 1096 00:43:34,708 --> 00:43:38,694 I don't want you sleeping with anybody else, understand? 1097 00:43:40,241 --> 00:43:43,262 Okay, but I thought we had agreed that 1098 00:43:43,304 --> 00:43:45,249 we were making this movie. 1099 00:43:45,291 --> 00:43:48,839 Well, so I had this idea. 1100 00:43:48,881 --> 00:43:51,609 What if the character I'm playing, 1101 00:43:51,651 --> 00:43:55,089 does the same thing I did, in real life. 1102 00:43:55,131 --> 00:43:57,219 What if your character falls for her 1103 00:43:57,261 --> 00:44:00,904 and she insists, so you have to pretend? 1104 00:44:02,007 --> 00:44:03,457 Yeah, well, what about Sam? 1105 00:44:05,811 --> 00:44:09,879 Well, that could be a lie you're telling in the movie. 1106 00:44:09,921 --> 00:44:13,389 You're misleading him into thinking you're having sex, 1107 00:44:13,431 --> 00:44:15,734 but you're really not in order to keep me. 1108 00:44:16,701 --> 00:44:19,659 I mean, that's a normal guy-thing, right? 1109 00:44:19,701 --> 00:44:21,529 Lying about getting laid? 1110 00:44:21,571 --> 00:44:23,704 Just make it a part of the film. 1111 00:44:25,593 --> 00:44:27,343 Yeah, I guess that's a good idea. 1112 00:44:32,616 --> 00:44:35,173 But we can't tell Sam about it, 1113 00:44:35,215 --> 00:44:37,608 or at least until after the movie's over. 1114 00:44:41,541 --> 00:44:44,269 Okay, so you didn't actually have sex? 1115 00:44:44,311 --> 00:44:45,795 That's the point of the gag. 1116 00:44:45,837 --> 00:44:46,628 I mean, what do you think? 1117 00:44:46,670 --> 00:44:48,001 I think it's not a bad idea. 1118 00:44:49,631 --> 00:44:52,346 Okay, let me just think for a second. 1119 00:44:52,388 --> 00:44:54,909 We'll have to rework the story a bit. 1120 00:44:54,951 --> 00:44:56,229 Story? 1121 00:44:56,271 --> 00:44:58,099 There is no story. 1122 00:44:58,141 --> 00:44:59,859 That's the point. 1123 00:44:59,901 --> 00:45:01,274 Okay, yeah, right. 1124 00:45:04,251 --> 00:45:05,401 Let me figure this out. 1125 00:45:11,898 --> 00:45:12,998 Are we okay? 1126 00:45:15,531 --> 00:45:16,869 Yeah, we're good. 1127 00:45:16,911 --> 00:45:18,709 So David and his girlfriend 1128 00:45:18,751 --> 00:45:20,899 are starting to give me troubles. 1129 00:45:20,941 --> 00:45:22,199 David's acting like a sheep, 1130 00:45:22,241 --> 00:45:24,759 passing off her ideas to me as his own. 1131 00:45:24,801 --> 00:45:27,009 And then she, for some reason, 1132 00:45:27,051 --> 00:45:30,239 actually likes him and wants to be in the movie too, 1133 00:45:30,281 --> 00:45:31,514 which is ridiculous. 1134 00:45:32,781 --> 00:45:35,734 So, David, you wanted her to be in the movie? 1135 00:45:36,731 --> 00:45:38,683 Let's see how you like this. 1136 00:45:45,571 --> 00:45:46,649 Sam, what's up? 1137 00:45:46,691 --> 00:45:48,189 Hey, man, is Crystal there? 1138 00:45:48,231 --> 00:45:49,022 No. 1139 00:45:49,064 --> 00:45:50,569 Okay, good. Look, I need you to get ready 1140 00:45:50,611 --> 00:45:52,789 because I set up a date for you. 1141 00:45:52,831 --> 00:45:53,622 What? 1142 00:45:53,664 --> 00:45:54,919 You can't set a date for me, 1143 00:45:54,961 --> 00:45:57,769 that defeats the whole purpose of the movie. 1144 00:45:57,811 --> 00:45:58,602 Okay. 1145 00:45:58,644 --> 00:46:00,029 It's funny to hear you talk about the legitimacy 1146 00:46:00,071 --> 00:46:01,171 of the doc when you... 1147 00:46:02,501 --> 00:46:03,939 Nevermind, I don't have time to argue with you, okay? 1148 00:46:03,981 --> 00:46:05,039 She's on her way. 1149 00:46:05,081 --> 00:46:05,914 What? 1150 00:46:06,751 --> 00:46:07,719 You're not filming right now, are you? 1151 00:46:07,761 --> 00:46:09,949 Because I would love to see the look on your face right now. 1152 00:46:09,991 --> 00:46:11,939 Dude, you've got to be kidding. Are you kidding? 1153 00:46:11,981 --> 00:46:14,259 I am not, no, she's on her way, I'll be there soon. 1154 00:46:14,301 --> 00:46:15,344 Later. 1155 00:46:17,841 --> 00:46:19,014 And that's how it's done. 1156 00:46:25,281 --> 00:46:26,319 - Hey, man. - What the fuck is going on? 1157 00:46:26,361 --> 00:46:27,369 Okay, her name's Michaela, 1158 00:46:27,411 --> 00:46:28,736 I found her on Craigslist, it's perfect. 1159 00:46:28,778 --> 00:46:29,999 You hired a hooker? 1160 00:46:30,041 --> 00:46:30,919 No, no, man. 1161 00:46:30,961 --> 00:46:31,779 She's not a hooker. 1162 00:46:31,821 --> 00:46:32,989 I found her in the personals section. 1163 00:46:33,031 --> 00:46:35,199 Oh, yeah? Did her post end with, "Donations accepted"? 1164 00:46:35,241 --> 00:46:36,339 Because that's what that means, she's a hooker. 1165 00:46:36,381 --> 00:46:37,669 Hey, that's mean, man. 1166 00:46:37,711 --> 00:46:40,567 Okay? She's sad and lonely, blah, blah, blah. 1167 00:46:40,609 --> 00:46:42,400 And what? 1168 00:46:42,442 --> 00:46:44,479 Did you just pretend to be me? 1169 00:46:44,521 --> 00:46:45,339 No, man. 1170 00:46:45,381 --> 00:46:48,774 I pretended to be your friend, which I am, right? 1171 00:46:52,771 --> 00:46:54,879 I pretended to be your friend, right? 1172 00:46:54,921 --> 00:46:56,779 Which I am, and I told her you were sad and lonely 1173 00:46:56,821 --> 00:46:58,339 and had trouble talking to women, which is all... 1174 00:46:58,381 --> 00:47:00,419 Which is bullshit. 1175 00:47:00,461 --> 00:47:02,609 Which is what this is about, David, okay? 1176 00:47:02,651 --> 00:47:04,109 Okay, well you know what? 1177 00:47:04,151 --> 00:47:05,929 I'm just gonna tell her. 1178 00:47:05,971 --> 00:47:06,762 I'm gonna tell her, 1179 00:47:06,804 --> 00:47:07,653 I'm gonna tell her about all this. 1180 00:47:07,695 --> 00:47:08,486 You know what? 1181 00:47:08,528 --> 00:47:09,999 For the first time, tell her whatever you want. 1182 00:47:10,041 --> 00:47:10,834 I don't care, okay? 1183 00:47:11,709 --> 00:47:12,500 Okay, that's her. 1184 00:47:12,542 --> 00:47:13,647 I'm gonna go hide. 1185 00:47:15,057 --> 00:47:16,229 Okay, I got it. 1186 00:47:16,271 --> 00:47:17,062 No, it's great. 1187 00:47:17,104 --> 00:47:19,099 Hey David, I see you set the table, man. 1188 00:47:19,141 --> 00:47:21,948 I really appreciate you being a part of this, all right? 1189 00:47:26,088 --> 00:47:27,439 Hi. 1190 00:47:27,481 --> 00:47:28,409 Hi, I'm Michaela. 1191 00:47:28,451 --> 00:47:29,802 Yeah, nice to meet you, I'm... 1192 00:47:29,844 --> 00:47:32,669 Sam, you look just like your pictures. 1193 00:47:32,711 --> 00:47:35,739 And you do too, I think. 1194 00:47:35,781 --> 00:47:37,309 Come on in. 1195 00:47:37,351 --> 00:47:39,909 Sorry, the house is a mess. 1196 00:47:39,951 --> 00:47:42,919 I'm sure my friend told you that I don't get out much. 1197 00:47:42,961 --> 00:47:46,239 Oh honey, please, no need to play timid with me. 1198 00:47:46,281 --> 00:47:49,049 I know it was you I was talking with this whole time. 1199 00:47:49,091 --> 00:47:53,369 Yeah, that was me just pretending to be my pretend friend. 1200 00:47:53,411 --> 00:47:57,454 So, where's the camera at? 1201 00:47:58,478 --> 00:47:59,789 Excuse me? 1202 00:47:59,831 --> 00:48:02,481 He said you were making some kind of video project. 1203 00:48:03,591 --> 00:48:05,399 I don't follow. 1204 00:48:05,441 --> 00:48:07,199 Is he hiding in the bathroom? 1205 00:48:07,241 --> 00:48:08,624 Come on out, sweetie. 1206 00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:12,559 Am I doing it all right? 1207 00:48:12,601 --> 00:48:14,489 Yeah, more or less. 1208 00:48:14,531 --> 00:48:15,899 Michaela, this is David, 1209 00:48:15,941 --> 00:48:17,979 he's obviously made a brilliant meal for you. 1210 00:48:18,021 --> 00:48:19,561 So why don't you just sit down, enjoy, 1211 00:48:19,603 --> 00:48:21,159 I'm gonna go back in the bathroom. 1212 00:48:21,201 --> 00:48:22,799 No, why don't you stay with us? 1213 00:48:22,841 --> 00:48:24,219 Film us like you said you would. 1214 00:48:24,261 --> 00:48:25,786 Yeah, I would, I would, 1215 00:48:25,828 --> 00:48:27,149 but the table's only set for two. 1216 00:48:27,191 --> 00:48:27,982 So, I think I might just... 1217 00:48:28,024 --> 00:48:29,559 You know what? That's perfect. 1218 00:48:29,601 --> 00:48:30,419 How about I go? 1219 00:48:30,461 --> 00:48:31,557 And then you two can sit and talk 1220 00:48:31,599 --> 00:48:32,484 about taking this video project 1221 00:48:32,526 --> 00:48:33,942 - in a new direction. - Uh, uh, uh. 1222 00:48:33,984 --> 00:48:36,067 Get your hiney back here. 1223 00:48:37,181 --> 00:48:39,444 Well, boys, I'm gonna go freshen up. 1224 00:48:47,321 --> 00:48:48,249 She's a hooker. 1225 00:48:48,291 --> 00:48:49,282 She's not a hooker. 1226 00:48:49,324 --> 00:48:50,240 Porn? 1227 00:48:50,282 --> 00:48:52,447 No, she just really likes you. 1228 00:48:52,489 --> 00:48:53,629 Dude, that is bullshit. 1229 00:48:53,671 --> 00:48:54,516 You got her involved about this 1230 00:48:54,558 --> 00:48:55,659 and you gave her a script 1231 00:48:55,701 --> 00:48:57,549 and she's playing some kind of weird character. 1232 00:48:57,591 --> 00:48:59,349 David, I promise you, that is not what's happening. 1233 00:48:59,391 --> 00:49:00,182 I promise you. 1234 00:49:00,224 --> 00:49:01,322 Okay, well, if your plan is for me to sleep with her, 1235 00:49:01,364 --> 00:49:02,155 I am not. 1236 00:49:02,197 --> 00:49:02,988 As soon as she comes out the bathroom, 1237 00:49:03,030 --> 00:49:04,469 I'm gonna get to the bottom of whatever this is. 1238 00:49:04,511 --> 00:49:05,934 Okay, that's perfect. 1239 00:49:07,186 --> 00:49:09,069 'Cause this whole thing is about lies. 1240 00:49:09,111 --> 00:49:10,246 There's just one problem. 1241 00:49:10,288 --> 00:49:11,079 Yeah? 1242 00:49:11,121 --> 00:49:13,290 She just went into your bedroom. 1243 00:49:17,072 --> 00:49:19,219 You, motherfucker. 1244 00:49:19,261 --> 00:49:20,901 There is Craigslist hooker in my bedroom 1245 00:49:20,943 --> 00:49:21,849 and it's all your fault. 1246 00:49:21,891 --> 00:49:25,189 Hey, hey, she's a Craigslist woman, okay? 1247 00:49:25,231 --> 00:49:27,399 Now, get in there and get her out, 1248 00:49:27,441 --> 00:49:28,799 or do whatever you have to do, okay? 1249 00:49:28,841 --> 00:49:32,129 Look, I'm not even gonna make you film it, okay? 1250 00:49:32,171 --> 00:49:34,239 Good, yeah, 'cause I won't. 1251 00:49:34,281 --> 00:49:37,254 All right, but David, you should. 1252 00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:41,638 What is wrong with you? 1253 00:49:49,924 --> 00:49:52,939 All right, so, I told her that he's really shy 1254 00:49:52,981 --> 00:49:54,681 and he's probably going to resist. 1255 00:49:55,901 --> 00:49:57,995 I spent a lot of money on this, but to be honest with you, 1256 00:49:58,037 --> 00:49:59,937 I really think it's gonna be worth it. 1257 00:50:03,931 --> 00:50:06,099 Let's get started, here. 1258 00:50:11,371 --> 00:50:13,454 - Hey, Sam, what's up? - Crystal, hey! 1259 00:50:13,496 --> 00:50:14,329 What's up? 1260 00:50:16,242 --> 00:50:18,026 What are you? 1261 00:50:18,068 --> 00:50:19,746 Is this part of the scene? 1262 00:50:19,788 --> 00:50:20,619 What? 1263 00:50:20,661 --> 00:50:23,149 You said we were gonna do a scene, is this part of it? 1264 00:50:23,191 --> 00:50:24,129 Oh, no. 1265 00:50:24,171 --> 00:50:26,329 I'm so sorry, I meant we're gonna do a scene tomorrow. 1266 00:50:26,371 --> 00:50:27,389 It's gonna be great. 1267 00:50:27,431 --> 00:50:28,705 - Okay. - It will. 1268 00:50:28,747 --> 00:50:29,987 Where's David? 1269 00:50:30,029 --> 00:50:31,671 David's out, he went out. 1270 00:50:31,713 --> 00:50:32,889 Not on a date, I hope. 1271 00:50:32,931 --> 00:50:34,809 Why are you filming this? 1272 00:50:34,851 --> 00:50:36,160 No, I'm not filming. 1273 00:50:36,202 --> 00:50:38,011 Oh my God. 1274 00:50:38,053 --> 00:50:39,094 Okay, Crystal. 1275 00:50:43,461 --> 00:50:44,252 David, what? 1276 00:50:44,294 --> 00:50:47,356 Dude, I am so sorry, you are so busted. 1277 00:50:52,332 --> 00:50:55,479 Cynthia, Cynthia, it's your line. 1278 00:50:55,521 --> 00:50:57,164 You can see she has shorts on. 1279 00:50:58,331 --> 00:50:59,809 Oh, okay. 1280 00:50:59,851 --> 00:51:00,889 Yup, everyone just hold up, 1281 00:51:00,931 --> 00:51:03,499 I'm gonna move the blanket a little bit. 1282 00:51:03,541 --> 00:51:05,569 There we go, everyone's set 1283 00:51:05,611 --> 00:51:08,490 and I'll just come back to here real quick. 1284 00:51:08,532 --> 00:51:13,299 And dude, I am so sorry, you are so busted. 1285 00:51:13,341 --> 00:51:14,174 Shit. 1286 00:51:15,581 --> 00:51:19,209 No, David, you know what? 1287 00:51:19,251 --> 00:51:22,294 You want so busted? I'll show you so busted. 1288 00:51:23,911 --> 00:51:25,369 I think I got the wrong sides. 1289 00:51:25,411 --> 00:51:26,349 Yeah, one second guys. 1290 00:51:26,391 --> 00:51:28,049 Hey, babe, what's going on? 1291 00:51:28,091 --> 00:51:28,889 We were in the middle of... 1292 00:51:28,931 --> 00:51:30,069 The middle of a scene, right? 1293 00:51:30,111 --> 00:51:31,915 So why aren't you filming? 1294 00:51:31,957 --> 00:51:33,479 Yeah. 1295 00:51:33,521 --> 00:51:36,369 I want you to film this. 1296 00:51:36,411 --> 00:51:37,964 It'll be behind the scenes. 1297 00:51:39,841 --> 00:51:40,844 Seriously. 1298 00:51:43,031 --> 00:51:45,309 Okay, I'm filming. 1299 00:51:45,351 --> 00:51:46,142 Okay, what's your problem? 1300 00:51:46,184 --> 00:51:47,129 You don't like this scene? 1301 00:51:47,171 --> 00:51:48,860 Maybe you don't like seeing Amanda in bed with... 1302 00:51:48,902 --> 00:51:50,309 David, actually, I had a question. 1303 00:51:50,351 --> 00:51:52,319 Why is my character going through this 1304 00:51:52,361 --> 00:51:53,469 if he's not filming it? 1305 00:51:53,511 --> 00:51:55,819 Well, 'cause she's a cheating slut and who gives a shit? 1306 00:51:55,861 --> 00:51:57,624 Oh, I'm the cheating slut? 1307 00:52:01,355 --> 00:52:03,939 I meant your character, okay? 1308 00:52:03,981 --> 00:52:05,989 But you know, when you bring it up, 1309 00:52:06,031 --> 00:52:07,779 did you two fuck the other night? 1310 00:52:07,821 --> 00:52:09,069 David, come on. 1311 00:52:09,111 --> 00:52:11,749 No, hey, Josh, answer my question. 1312 00:52:11,791 --> 00:52:13,609 When you went off script, closed the blinds on me, 1313 00:52:13,651 --> 00:52:14,564 did you fuck? 1314 00:52:15,981 --> 00:52:17,978 Hey guys, I'm gonna go. 1315 00:52:18,020 --> 00:52:19,859 If you could just call my agent. 1316 00:52:19,901 --> 00:52:21,279 Yeah, hey, Amanda, 1317 00:52:21,321 --> 00:52:22,619 thank you so much for everything. 1318 00:52:22,661 --> 00:52:23,452 You did great work tonight 1319 00:52:23,494 --> 00:52:25,099 and I am so sorry about all of this. 1320 00:52:25,141 --> 00:52:27,974 You got it, bye guys. 1321 00:52:29,118 --> 00:52:30,668 So did you, did you have sex? 1322 00:52:34,313 --> 00:52:35,904 Who's my character based on? 1323 00:52:36,951 --> 00:52:38,559 This is not about your character, okay? 1324 00:52:38,601 --> 00:52:39,839 This is about you, all right? 1325 00:52:39,881 --> 00:52:41,619 You and Josh, did you? 1326 00:52:41,661 --> 00:52:44,254 Why don't you tell me about the real Crystal? 1327 00:52:45,531 --> 00:52:47,809 Wait, the real Crystal? 1328 00:52:47,851 --> 00:52:48,939 Is this like a character study? 1329 00:52:48,981 --> 00:52:51,629 You know, maybe it should be a character study. 1330 00:52:51,671 --> 00:52:55,019 David, do you have any tape of somebody demonstrating 1331 00:52:55,061 --> 00:52:55,899 the Crystal role? 1332 00:52:55,941 --> 00:52:57,779 Because she's pretty complicated 1333 00:52:57,821 --> 00:52:59,239 and it would be really helpful to me, 1334 00:52:59,281 --> 00:53:01,149 if I could just see somebody demonstrate it, 1335 00:53:01,191 --> 00:53:03,659 like a life coaching session, maybe. 1336 00:53:03,701 --> 00:53:04,492 You bitch. 1337 00:53:04,534 --> 00:53:06,764 There it is. 1338 00:53:07,601 --> 00:53:08,392 Film this. 1339 00:53:08,434 --> 00:53:10,579 You're not gonna get out of this like every other time. 1340 00:53:10,621 --> 00:53:11,619 It was just research. 1341 00:53:11,661 --> 00:53:12,514 Research? 1342 00:53:12,556 --> 00:53:13,399 Just like I said in the scene. 1343 00:53:13,441 --> 00:53:14,659 Literally like I said in the scene. 1344 00:53:14,701 --> 00:53:15,919 Sure, sure. 1345 00:53:15,961 --> 00:53:19,909 You fucked her, and then you cast me to be her, 1346 00:53:19,951 --> 00:53:22,779 and then you named me after her. 1347 00:53:22,821 --> 00:53:25,449 And I'm guessing the only reason we're still here 1348 00:53:25,491 --> 00:53:27,729 is because you actually had to make a movie 1349 00:53:27,771 --> 00:53:29,906 to keep her strung along after you fell for her. 1350 00:53:29,948 --> 00:53:34,399 Wait, just like the scene with this Crystal? 1351 00:53:34,441 --> 00:53:35,879 Real ballsy, David. 1352 00:53:35,921 --> 00:53:37,424 Real fucking ballsy. 1353 00:53:38,631 --> 00:53:39,467 Thank you. 1354 00:53:39,509 --> 00:53:40,479 It's not a fucking compliment. 1355 00:53:40,521 --> 00:53:42,719 Oh God, I knew this was way too close to home, dude. 1356 00:53:42,761 --> 00:53:44,109 This is way too close to home. 1357 00:53:44,151 --> 00:53:47,369 Hey, no, look, Josh, this is not about me. 1358 00:53:47,411 --> 00:53:50,499 David, your main character is named after you, 1359 00:53:50,541 --> 00:53:52,219 which I always thought was a little weird 1360 00:53:52,261 --> 00:53:53,789 and we're shooting it in your house 1361 00:53:53,831 --> 00:53:56,019 and apparently he does the things that you do. 1362 00:53:56,061 --> 00:53:58,229 How is this not about you? 1363 00:53:58,271 --> 00:54:00,359 You are way more of an asshole than I am, okay? 1364 00:54:00,401 --> 00:54:01,789 I told you this is just research. 1365 00:54:01,831 --> 00:54:02,622 That's all it is. 1366 00:54:02,664 --> 00:54:04,279 I'm more of an asshole than you? 1367 00:54:04,321 --> 00:54:05,739 Your character, you're me. 1368 00:54:05,781 --> 00:54:07,742 Your character, you're me. 1369 00:54:07,784 --> 00:54:09,584 That about covers it, yeah? 1370 00:54:11,371 --> 00:54:13,259 Look, this does not get you out of the fact 1371 00:54:13,301 --> 00:54:15,134 of you two fucking, okay? 1372 00:54:16,001 --> 00:54:18,254 Did you, did you have sex? 1373 00:54:21,891 --> 00:54:23,674 Maybe it was just research. 1374 00:54:27,601 --> 00:54:30,216 Guys, I'm telling the truth here, okay? 1375 00:54:30,258 --> 00:54:32,169 That's the funniest fucking thing 1376 00:54:32,211 --> 00:54:33,159 of this whole thing so far. 1377 00:54:33,201 --> 00:54:33,992 Look, look. 1378 00:54:34,034 --> 00:54:35,849 You know what? 1379 00:54:35,891 --> 00:54:36,689 So here's the truth. 1380 00:54:36,731 --> 00:54:37,648 Here's the truth for you, 1381 00:54:37,690 --> 00:54:39,579 'cause that's a great thing to end the movie on, all right? 1382 00:54:39,621 --> 00:54:41,319 That's it. The end. 1383 00:54:41,361 --> 00:54:42,719 If you wanted to see some boobs, 1384 00:54:42,761 --> 00:54:44,329 you should've spent an hour watching porn 1385 00:54:44,371 --> 00:54:46,321 instead of watching this fucking movie. 1386 00:54:48,061 --> 00:54:50,109 Guys, come on, this isn't funny. 1387 00:54:50,151 --> 00:54:51,829 We're almost done here. 1388 00:54:51,871 --> 00:54:52,764 Guys! 1389 00:54:54,871 --> 00:54:56,474 Fuck me. 1390 00:55:04,791 --> 00:55:06,529 Hey, Josh, if you could just give me a second 1391 00:55:06,571 --> 00:55:07,362 to explain this... 1392 00:55:07,404 --> 00:55:08,374 Forgot my shoes. 1393 00:55:15,741 --> 00:55:17,604 - Dude, we're almost done. - I'll put them on outside. 1394 00:55:20,950 --> 00:55:21,783 Fuck. 1395 00:55:33,671 --> 00:55:34,462 David. 1396 00:55:34,504 --> 00:55:35,676 Oh, hey, Crystal. 1397 00:55:35,718 --> 00:55:36,907 - Hi - It's very nice to meet you. 1398 00:55:36,949 --> 00:55:37,740 You too. 1399 00:55:37,782 --> 00:55:40,129 Hey, but before we sit down, I wanna let you know, 1400 00:55:40,171 --> 00:55:41,809 I don't wanna seem like a creep, or weirdo, 1401 00:55:41,851 --> 00:55:42,642 or a serial killer, 1402 00:55:42,684 --> 00:55:45,889 but the camera the camera on the table, it is filming. 1403 00:55:45,931 --> 00:55:49,284 Okay. Is that for like, quality control or something? 1404 00:55:49,326 --> 00:55:51,499 No, that's funny though. 1405 00:55:51,541 --> 00:55:52,391 I might use that. 1406 00:55:57,951 --> 00:56:00,339 Okay, since you're filming me, 1407 00:56:00,381 --> 00:56:02,031 I guess I'm gonna be filming you. 1408 00:56:03,297 --> 00:56:05,844 Oh yeah, that's great. 1409 00:56:07,551 --> 00:56:09,389 I know it's for security purposes, 1410 00:56:09,431 --> 00:56:12,369 but, I don't know. 1411 00:56:12,411 --> 00:56:13,202 How about this, 1412 00:56:13,244 --> 00:56:15,299 if I don't seem like as big of a creep as you think I am, 1413 00:56:15,341 --> 00:56:17,041 can you just send me that footage? 1414 00:56:19,379 --> 00:56:20,296 One second. 1415 00:56:22,501 --> 00:56:23,804 It's an eye-line thing. 1416 00:56:26,686 --> 00:56:29,249 I'm sorry, what is this for? 1417 00:56:29,291 --> 00:56:31,589 So I'm doing a video project. 1418 00:56:31,631 --> 00:56:33,559 It's like a found footage movie kind of thing. 1419 00:56:33,601 --> 00:56:37,309 Right, 'cause you did say that you did film work, 1420 00:56:37,351 --> 00:56:38,184 but it's, 1421 00:56:41,358 --> 00:56:43,336 it's not like... 1422 00:56:43,378 --> 00:56:45,045 No, it's not porn. 1423 00:56:46,731 --> 00:56:48,111 No, it's not porn Okay. 1424 00:56:49,696 --> 00:56:50,539 And don't worry, 1425 00:56:50,581 --> 00:56:53,314 this won't even be in the movie so you're okay. 1426 00:56:55,491 --> 00:56:56,764 So, what's it for? 1427 00:56:58,451 --> 00:57:00,219 I think the main character is gonna film people, 1428 00:57:00,261 --> 00:57:02,969 so I kind of just wanna figure out what works, 1429 00:57:03,011 --> 00:57:05,261 what doesn't, get the kinks out a little bit. 1430 00:57:08,207 --> 00:57:12,211 So wouldn't telling me sort of blow it a little bit? 1431 00:57:14,081 --> 00:57:16,769 Maybe he has to find creative ways 1432 00:57:16,811 --> 00:57:20,044 to let people know, you know, and tell them. 1433 00:57:20,086 --> 00:57:20,919 Great. 1434 00:57:23,611 --> 00:57:24,887 The truth wouldn't work, right? 1435 00:57:24,929 --> 00:57:29,159 Because that would get boring, right? 1436 00:57:29,201 --> 00:57:31,789 You're kind of ruining the movie. 1437 00:57:31,831 --> 00:57:33,456 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1438 00:57:33,498 --> 00:57:35,664 No, it's okay. I'm impressed. 1439 00:57:37,791 --> 00:57:39,189 It's good. 1440 00:57:39,231 --> 00:57:41,589 Maybe I'll just do something else. 1441 00:57:41,631 --> 00:57:42,831 No, no, no. I'm sorry. 1442 00:57:44,741 --> 00:57:46,969 I don't wanna stop you from doing your project. 1443 00:57:47,011 --> 00:57:48,239 I think it's interesting. 1444 00:57:48,281 --> 00:57:50,194 So I think you should film it. 1445 00:57:51,191 --> 00:57:53,604 Yeah. I don't know. I think it's silly. 1446 00:57:56,131 --> 00:57:58,669 What do you say, we just get a drink? 1447 00:57:58,711 --> 00:57:59,692 Yes. 1448 00:57:59,734 --> 00:58:02,151 - Okay. - Yes, okay. 1449 00:58:04,466 --> 00:58:06,069 So yeah. 1450 00:58:06,111 --> 00:58:07,599 I added the actual clip of Crystal 1451 00:58:07,641 --> 00:58:10,143 just to bolster some of the runtime. 1452 00:58:10,185 --> 00:58:12,489 It's still a fuckin' disaster. 1453 00:58:12,531 --> 00:58:13,499 Why? 1454 00:58:13,541 --> 00:58:15,769 Well, I'm an hour short on my delivery requirements 1455 00:58:15,811 --> 00:58:18,504 and I'm out of pocket, a shitload of expenses. 1456 00:58:19,829 --> 00:58:22,629 We should have actually shot this on cellphones. 1457 00:58:24,061 --> 00:58:25,199 Plus, you know what's worse than that? 1458 00:58:25,241 --> 00:58:27,039 Digitally removing that girl's arm. 1459 00:58:27,081 --> 00:58:28,879 Plus the day rates of all the actresses, 1460 00:58:28,921 --> 00:58:31,149 because yes, they were all union. 1461 00:58:31,191 --> 00:58:33,204 Including my former girlfriend, Cynthia. 1462 00:58:34,051 --> 00:58:35,279 We met on set a few years back, 1463 00:58:35,321 --> 00:58:37,014 it was a fuckin' disaster. 1464 00:58:38,731 --> 00:58:41,319 So there's that money, plus the nudity riders, right? 1465 00:58:41,361 --> 00:58:42,949 Because yes, you're welcome. 1466 00:58:42,991 --> 00:58:44,419 Even though we didn't shoot those sex scenes, 1467 00:58:44,461 --> 00:58:46,229 that would have really filled some of the runtime, 1468 00:58:46,271 --> 00:58:47,899 I did shoot all those topless scenes. 1469 00:58:47,941 --> 00:58:50,429 So, if that's why you stuck around, 1470 00:58:50,471 --> 00:58:51,429 I'd tell you to fast forward, 1471 00:58:51,471 --> 00:58:53,394 but you're almost there anyway. 1472 00:58:54,971 --> 00:58:56,379 Just give me one second, 1473 00:58:56,421 --> 00:58:58,356 and let me tell you what happened, okay? 1474 00:58:58,398 --> 00:59:01,614 I was cheating on Crystal was Cynthia and... 1475 00:59:01,656 --> 00:59:02,789 Oh, fuck. 1476 00:59:02,831 --> 00:59:05,419 I can't even get their names straight anymore. 1477 00:59:05,461 --> 00:59:07,619 I was cheating on Cynthia, right? 1478 00:59:07,661 --> 00:59:09,569 And I wasn't happy with our little 1479 00:59:09,611 --> 00:59:12,889 fairytale lifestyle-bubble that it was, 1480 00:59:12,931 --> 00:59:14,019 it's all bullshit. 1481 00:59:14,061 --> 00:59:16,369 And I wanted to make a film that said that. 1482 00:59:16,411 --> 00:59:19,639 I wanted to say how we all had to lie to be happy 1483 00:59:19,681 --> 00:59:21,114 because that is true. 1484 00:59:22,531 --> 00:59:25,744 And I wasn't filming most of these dates at the beginning. 1485 00:59:28,371 --> 00:59:30,034 Okay, yeah, I tried. 1486 00:59:33,671 --> 00:59:36,114 Fuck it, watch this. 1487 00:59:39,126 --> 00:59:40,044 Hi, I'm David. 1488 00:59:41,021 --> 00:59:42,339 It's good to meet you. 1489 00:59:42,381 --> 00:59:43,759 What is this? 1490 00:59:43,801 --> 00:59:44,909 Well, I know it's weird, 1491 00:59:44,951 --> 00:59:47,989 but I thought maybe if I recorded this, 1492 00:59:48,031 --> 00:59:50,639 it might make it a sweet memoriam 1493 00:59:50,681 --> 00:59:52,509 - kind of thing?. - Yeah, no, it's weird. 1494 00:59:52,551 --> 00:59:53,809 Yeah, no it's standard procedure, 1495 00:59:53,851 --> 00:59:56,059 we do this with all our social experiments. 1496 00:59:56,101 --> 00:59:57,879 Social experiment? 1497 00:59:57,921 --> 00:59:58,869 Okay, what? What do you want 1498 00:59:58,911 --> 01:00:00,109 - me to say? - Excuse me, sir? 1499 01:00:00,151 --> 01:00:00,942 Yeah? 1500 01:00:00,984 --> 01:00:01,779 You can't film here without 1501 01:00:01,821 --> 01:00:02,939 the owner's permission, I checked. 1502 01:00:02,981 --> 01:00:04,099 Liz, I can explain. 1503 01:00:04,141 --> 01:00:07,084 Liz, if you could just give me one second. 1504 01:00:08,311 --> 01:00:10,844 Wait, one second, Jenna! 1505 01:00:13,241 --> 01:00:14,439 Until I met Crystal, 1506 01:00:14,481 --> 01:00:17,439 which is where I came up with the whole movie idea. 1507 01:00:17,481 --> 01:00:19,939 Which I know you saw, yeah we put it in the movie, 1508 01:00:19,981 --> 01:00:22,522 which was obviously a big mistake. 1509 01:00:22,564 --> 01:00:25,364 That's what you get for trying to be honest in art. 1510 01:00:27,261 --> 01:00:28,224 It's ironic. 1511 01:00:31,551 --> 01:00:32,881 I haven't seen her in ages 1512 01:00:34,055 --> 01:00:35,396 'cause I got involved with this movie 1513 01:00:35,438 --> 01:00:37,538 that I was making just to keep her around. 1514 01:00:38,981 --> 01:00:41,989 You wanna know what happened to David and Crystal 1515 01:00:42,031 --> 01:00:43,099 after she caught him with a girl? 1516 01:00:43,141 --> 01:00:44,391 Do you really wanna know? 1517 01:00:51,806 --> 01:00:52,639 All right. 1518 01:01:09,151 --> 01:01:10,449 They were gonna see separate people, 1519 01:01:10,491 --> 01:01:13,109 they were gonna go separate ways and do separate things. 1520 01:01:13,151 --> 01:01:14,769 And I was going to film it all 1521 01:01:14,811 --> 01:01:15,992 as their friend Sam, 1522 01:01:16,034 --> 01:01:20,209 just to get both sides of the gender viewpoint, or whatever. 1523 01:01:20,251 --> 01:01:21,079 Right? 1524 01:01:21,121 --> 01:01:22,739 And then they were gonna meet again online 1525 01:01:22,781 --> 01:01:24,289 and it was gonna be beautiful 1526 01:01:24,331 --> 01:01:26,069 and we wouldn't have really known what happened to them, 1527 01:01:26,111 --> 01:01:28,379 but it was gonna be very cool and existential 1528 01:01:28,421 --> 01:01:29,894 and Cynthia fucked it up. 1529 01:01:31,961 --> 01:01:34,009 And now, I guess I really am a movie producer. 1530 01:01:34,051 --> 01:01:37,804 I fucked up a movie and I got to see some boobs. 1531 01:01:38,651 --> 01:01:41,689 Well, without further ado, I guess you've earned it guys. 1532 01:01:41,731 --> 01:01:42,674 Here we go. 1533 01:01:44,861 --> 01:01:45,694 Hang on. 1534 01:01:47,281 --> 01:01:50,290 Oh shit, it's Crystal. 1535 01:01:50,332 --> 01:01:51,165 Hang on. 1536 01:01:53,112 --> 01:01:54,619 Hey, I was just thinking about you. 1537 01:01:54,661 --> 01:01:56,839 Why am I on speaker phone? 1538 01:01:56,881 --> 01:02:00,679 David, I swear, if you're recording this right now, 1539 01:02:00,721 --> 01:02:01,512 I'm gonna be... 1540 01:02:01,554 --> 01:02:04,679 I'm not recording it, so you can chill out, okay? 1541 01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:05,729 Thought I was Crystal, didn't you? 1542 01:02:05,771 --> 01:02:06,604 No. 1543 01:02:08,161 --> 01:02:10,489 Okay, well, I just called to tell you 1544 01:02:10,531 --> 01:02:13,649 that if you're still planning to cut together a movie 1545 01:02:13,691 --> 01:02:15,619 that you better delete all of my footage 1546 01:02:15,661 --> 01:02:16,919 because you do not have permission 1547 01:02:16,961 --> 01:02:18,629 - to use that. - Okay, Cynthia. 1548 01:02:18,671 --> 01:02:20,369 I will, all right? 1549 01:02:20,411 --> 01:02:23,329 And just so you know, it wasn't very good anyway, okay? 1550 01:02:23,371 --> 01:02:24,719 I was planning on re-shooting everything 1551 01:02:24,761 --> 01:02:26,009 with another actress. 1552 01:02:26,051 --> 01:02:26,926 Excuse me? 1553 01:02:26,968 --> 01:02:29,729 It wasn't very good? 1554 01:02:29,771 --> 01:02:32,309 My character was supposed to be a bad actress. 1555 01:02:32,351 --> 01:02:34,079 Yeah, the character was supposed to be bad 1556 01:02:34,121 --> 01:02:35,359 when she was acting, okay? 1557 01:02:35,401 --> 01:02:37,279 You were bad all the time. 1558 01:02:37,321 --> 01:02:38,704 I mean, every time. 1559 01:02:39,747 --> 01:02:41,579 Oh, fuck you, David. 1560 01:02:41,621 --> 01:02:43,989 Hey, fuck you, Crystal. 1561 01:02:44,031 --> 01:02:46,554 I mean, Cynthia, whoops. 1562 01:02:49,571 --> 01:02:50,794 I did that on purpose. 1563 01:02:52,181 --> 01:02:53,439 I changed her name in my phone 1564 01:02:53,481 --> 01:02:56,089 so when she called, it would say, "Crystal," 1565 01:02:56,131 --> 01:02:57,331 you know, for the movie. 1566 01:02:58,371 --> 01:02:59,204 Oops. 1567 01:03:13,092 --> 01:03:14,009 Okay, fuck. 1568 01:03:19,372 --> 01:03:20,163 Hey. 1569 01:03:20,205 --> 01:03:22,254 Really? 1570 01:03:23,731 --> 01:03:24,581 Really? 1571 01:03:27,854 --> 01:03:28,880 Oh, yeah. 1572 01:03:28,922 --> 01:03:32,399 Yeah I know I said the movie's over, 1573 01:03:32,441 --> 01:03:35,579 'cause it is, but I figured maybe I can bolster 1574 01:03:35,621 --> 01:03:38,199 some of the runtime with you. 1575 01:03:38,241 --> 01:03:40,654 Oh, so now I do get to be in it? 1576 01:03:42,000 --> 01:03:43,609 I thought maybe it would 1577 01:03:43,651 --> 01:03:45,151 give the movie a happy ending, 1578 01:03:46,161 --> 01:03:50,304 just in case if things work out, at least between us. 1579 01:03:50,346 --> 01:03:52,849 Things work out between us? 1580 01:03:52,891 --> 01:03:54,789 I'm sorry, what happened to the girlfriend 1581 01:03:54,831 --> 01:03:56,909 that you were cheating on? 1582 01:03:56,951 --> 01:03:59,640 She left me for an actor. 1583 01:03:59,682 --> 01:04:02,234 Well, that's predictable. 1584 01:04:03,431 --> 01:04:07,369 Yeah, I didn't see it coming. 1585 01:04:07,411 --> 01:04:09,439 But she's out of the picture. 1586 01:04:09,481 --> 01:04:10,509 Literally, out of the picture, 1587 01:04:10,551 --> 01:04:11,999 the picture being the movie. 1588 01:04:12,041 --> 01:04:13,124 No, yeah, I got it. 1589 01:04:17,001 --> 01:04:17,834 So, 1590 01:04:20,041 --> 01:04:20,874 can I see it? 1591 01:04:23,651 --> 01:04:25,749 The movie? Can I see the movie? 1592 01:04:25,791 --> 01:04:29,704 Oh, yeah. Yeah, sure. 1593 01:04:36,111 --> 01:04:37,389 They were gonna see separate people 1594 01:04:37,431 --> 01:04:40,059 they were gonna go separate ways and do separate things. 1595 01:04:40,101 --> 01:04:43,059 And I was gonna film it all, as their friend Sam, 1596 01:04:43,101 --> 01:04:47,129 just to get both sides of the gender viewpoint, or whatever. 1597 01:04:47,171 --> 01:04:48,009 Right? 1598 01:04:48,051 --> 01:04:49,669 And then they were gonna meet again online 1599 01:04:49,711 --> 01:04:51,199 and it was gonna be beautiful 1600 01:04:51,241 --> 01:04:52,776 and we wouldn't have really known what happened to them, 1601 01:04:52,818 --> 01:04:55,299 but it was gonna be very cool and existential 1602 01:04:55,341 --> 01:04:56,794 and Cynthia fucked it up. 1603 01:04:58,891 --> 01:05:01,669 And now, I guess I really am a movie producer. 1604 01:05:01,711 --> 01:05:04,584 I fucked up a movie and I got to see some boobs. 1605 01:05:11,552 --> 01:05:12,635 Okay. Okay. 1606 01:05:17,461 --> 01:05:19,149 I have questions. 1607 01:05:19,191 --> 01:05:19,982 Okay. 1608 01:05:20,024 --> 01:05:21,269 And comments. 1609 01:05:21,311 --> 01:05:23,284 Okay, that's great. 1610 01:05:25,671 --> 01:05:26,969 Actually, that's really great. 1611 01:05:27,011 --> 01:05:28,714 Would you mind if we filmed them? 1612 01:05:31,401 --> 01:05:33,244 Okay, perfect. 1613 01:05:41,011 --> 01:05:41,844 Okay, go ahead. 1614 01:05:47,021 --> 01:05:51,259 Okay, one, it's confusing. 1615 01:05:51,301 --> 01:05:52,869 - No it's not. - As shit. 1616 01:05:52,911 --> 01:05:54,159 It's not confusing if you just... 1617 01:05:54,201 --> 01:05:55,112 No, yeah it is. 1618 01:05:55,154 --> 01:05:57,559 I mean, your explanation of everything that happened 1619 01:05:57,601 --> 01:05:59,654 is just, it makes no sense. 1620 01:06:01,101 --> 01:06:02,551 I think you should refilm it. 1621 01:06:05,551 --> 01:06:07,069 Okay. 1622 01:06:07,111 --> 01:06:08,019 Okay, I will. 1623 01:06:08,061 --> 01:06:08,894 Good. 1624 01:06:10,441 --> 01:06:15,441 And two, is that your girlfriend playing me? 1625 01:06:15,641 --> 01:06:16,779 She's my ex-girlfriend, 1626 01:06:16,821 --> 01:06:18,606 and I know it sounds up fucked up but it's... 1627 01:06:18,648 --> 01:06:20,429 No, yeah it's fucked up. 1628 01:06:20,471 --> 01:06:22,669 And why does the character of me get to be in the movie 1629 01:06:22,711 --> 01:06:23,839 when she ask? 1630 01:06:23,881 --> 01:06:26,249 Well, I mean, you never really asked. 1631 01:06:26,291 --> 01:06:27,879 Yes, I did. 1632 01:06:27,921 --> 01:06:30,071 Well you're here now, so, you're welcome. 1633 01:06:31,621 --> 01:06:34,239 I mean, thank you, right? 1634 01:06:34,281 --> 01:06:37,009 For being here, I really do appreciate it. 1635 01:06:37,051 --> 01:06:38,294 Yeah, no worries. 1636 01:06:40,461 --> 01:06:42,244 Okay, so, what are you gonna do now? 1637 01:06:44,001 --> 01:06:45,464 I don't really know. 1638 01:06:45,506 --> 01:06:46,879 I don't know. 1639 01:06:46,921 --> 01:06:49,084 I think we both know what you want to do. 1640 01:06:50,201 --> 01:06:51,748 Yeah? 1641 01:06:51,790 --> 01:06:52,623 Yeah. 1642 01:06:54,231 --> 01:06:56,192 Oh, no. Are you kidding me? 1643 01:06:56,234 --> 01:06:58,289 No, but that's what this has all been about. 1644 01:06:58,331 --> 01:07:02,089 Crystal, it's about fixing this lie that I told you. 1645 01:07:02,131 --> 01:07:02,959 I wanna make it real. 1646 01:07:03,001 --> 01:07:04,729 That's what this is. 1647 01:07:04,771 --> 01:07:05,889 If that's the real reason, 1648 01:07:05,931 --> 01:07:07,114 then it's still a lie. 1649 01:07:09,401 --> 01:07:12,134 I don't think that that is the real reason. 1650 01:07:14,551 --> 01:07:16,939 I wanna make the movie, yeah. 1651 01:07:16,981 --> 01:07:18,699 For its own sake? 1652 01:07:18,741 --> 01:07:20,279 Yes. 1653 01:07:20,321 --> 01:07:21,112 Okay. 1654 01:07:21,154 --> 01:07:23,429 And for its own sake, it needs an ending. 1655 01:07:23,471 --> 01:07:24,262 Right, okay, 1656 01:07:24,304 --> 01:07:27,555 so I think we both then know, what you have to do. 1657 01:07:27,597 --> 01:07:28,430 We do? 1658 01:07:29,271 --> 01:07:30,104 Yeah, of course. 1659 01:07:36,961 --> 01:07:40,369 No, no, I'm not going back to Josh and Cynthia. 1660 01:07:40,411 --> 01:07:41,202 Stop looking at me like that, 1661 01:07:41,244 --> 01:07:42,749 I'm not doing it. 1662 01:07:42,791 --> 01:07:44,531 I won't do it. I'm not doing it. 1663 01:07:53,851 --> 01:07:57,620 Cynthia, I'm glad to see you. 1664 01:07:57,662 --> 01:07:58,779 Are you filming me? 1665 01:07:58,821 --> 01:07:59,649 Yeah. 1666 01:07:59,691 --> 01:08:00,649 Why? 1667 01:08:00,691 --> 01:08:02,344 For the film, obviously. 1668 01:08:02,386 --> 01:08:04,053 Come on in. 1669 01:08:05,301 --> 01:08:06,948 Y'all knew I was coming over? 1670 01:08:06,990 --> 01:08:09,289 Obviously. 1671 01:08:11,631 --> 01:08:14,599 All right, well, how? How'd you know? 1672 01:08:14,641 --> 01:08:15,891 Crystal told us. 1673 01:08:16,991 --> 01:08:18,843 Crystal? Like the Crystal, Crystal? 1674 01:08:18,885 --> 01:08:21,904 No, my fictional character, Crystal told us. 1675 01:08:23,300 --> 01:08:24,374 Come and have a seat. 1676 01:08:26,333 --> 01:08:29,004 Why don't you tell us, David, why are you here? 1677 01:08:32,411 --> 01:08:33,761 I have a better question. 1678 01:08:34,631 --> 01:08:35,919 Why are you here? 1679 01:08:35,961 --> 01:08:37,629 I just told you, Crystal told us that 1680 01:08:37,671 --> 01:08:39,166 - you were gonna be coming. - Are you two fucking now? 1681 01:08:39,208 --> 01:08:40,699 Is that what this is? 1682 01:08:40,741 --> 01:08:44,239 Yes, right now at this very second, 1683 01:08:44,281 --> 01:08:45,679 we are fucking. 1684 01:08:45,721 --> 01:08:46,969 His dick is so long, 1685 01:08:47,011 --> 01:08:48,709 it snakes down his pant leg 1686 01:08:48,751 --> 01:08:51,317 around this table a couple of times and then up mine 1687 01:08:51,359 --> 01:08:52,199 - to fuck me. - Wow. 1688 01:08:52,241 --> 01:08:54,249 That's incredible. That's great. 1689 01:08:54,291 --> 01:08:56,009 You know, we should put that into the movie, 1690 01:08:56,051 --> 01:08:58,369 - Josh. - No, no. 1691 01:08:58,411 --> 01:09:00,792 Of course we're not putting it at the end of the movie 1692 01:09:00,834 --> 01:09:02,929 you fucking idiot. 1693 01:09:02,971 --> 01:09:04,219 Okay. 1694 01:09:04,261 --> 01:09:05,249 No, I'm sorry. 1695 01:09:05,291 --> 01:09:06,619 I am sorry. 1696 01:09:06,661 --> 01:09:07,494 Okay? 1697 01:09:09,071 --> 01:09:11,099 I wanna finish the movie. 1698 01:09:11,141 --> 01:09:11,974 That's it. 1699 01:09:12,831 --> 01:09:14,889 And it's not to prove that I was right, 1700 01:09:14,931 --> 01:09:17,919 or to get with Crystal, or to ruin any weird thing 1701 01:09:17,961 --> 01:09:19,609 that you two have going on. 1702 01:09:19,651 --> 01:09:21,109 Okay? It's not even for the money. 1703 01:09:21,151 --> 01:09:22,369 I promise. 1704 01:09:22,411 --> 01:09:24,561 It's 'cause I wanna finish what we started. 1705 01:09:25,491 --> 01:09:28,554 Will you help me do that, please? 1706 01:09:30,351 --> 01:09:33,481 We've been doing some thinking and we agree that it sucks 1707 01:09:34,471 --> 01:09:36,014 that it's only halfway done. 1708 01:09:37,091 --> 01:09:38,292 It's less than halfway, but if... 1709 01:09:38,334 --> 01:09:40,214 We do have some terms. 1710 01:09:41,558 --> 01:09:44,849 Okay, yeah, what? Anything. 1711 01:09:44,891 --> 01:09:46,829 We get to rewrite the ending. 1712 01:09:46,871 --> 01:09:49,819 It can't be this confusing existential, 1713 01:09:49,861 --> 01:09:51,944 meta-mess that you were gonna make it. 1714 01:09:56,141 --> 01:09:56,974 Okay. 1715 01:10:00,701 --> 01:10:03,309 But it can't be this mushy movie crap 1716 01:10:03,351 --> 01:10:04,539 where everyone learns a lesson at the end. 1717 01:10:04,581 --> 01:10:06,409 Is that okay, please? Is that a deal? 1718 01:10:06,451 --> 01:10:07,984 I think that's fine. 1719 01:10:08,961 --> 01:10:10,409 We get final cut. 1720 01:10:10,451 --> 01:10:14,619 Ah, I can't give you final cut, no, I can't. 1721 01:10:14,661 --> 01:10:16,319 Non-negotiable. 1722 01:10:16,361 --> 01:10:18,554 We do our edit as we see fit. 1723 01:10:31,708 --> 01:10:34,576 Okay. But you have to meet the runtime, okay? 1724 01:10:34,618 --> 01:10:36,009 And it has to feel seamless, 1725 01:10:36,051 --> 01:10:38,370 it has to be all one continuous piece. 1726 01:10:39,435 --> 01:10:41,564 Is that okay? Does that make sense? 1727 01:10:41,606 --> 01:10:43,819 - Yes. - Yeah, look, 1728 01:10:43,861 --> 01:10:46,859 if you get, shit, what's her name? 1729 01:10:46,901 --> 01:10:48,269 Amanda? 1730 01:10:48,311 --> 01:10:50,449 You get Amanda back, we'll take care of the rest. 1731 01:10:50,491 --> 01:10:51,334 Fuck. 1732 01:10:52,861 --> 01:10:54,459 Fuck? 1733 01:10:54,501 --> 01:10:55,334 Why fuck? 1734 01:10:56,231 --> 01:10:57,022 He tried to fuck her. 1735 01:10:57,064 --> 01:10:58,409 You tried to fuck her, didn't you? 1736 01:10:58,451 --> 01:11:01,159 Okay, she has a sister that acts, 1737 01:11:01,201 --> 01:11:02,259 maybe she'll do it. 1738 01:11:02,301 --> 01:11:04,579 It, the movie or it, your dick? 1739 01:11:04,621 --> 01:11:06,371 The movie, Cynthia, don't be... 1740 01:11:08,811 --> 01:11:11,614 Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1741 01:11:13,051 --> 01:11:14,189 One more favor. 1742 01:11:14,231 --> 01:11:16,189 And this is it, 1743 01:11:16,231 --> 01:11:17,249 please, all this stuff, 1744 01:11:17,291 --> 01:11:19,149 all these clips of us breaking character 1745 01:11:19,191 --> 01:11:21,619 and going off-script and book or whatever, 1746 01:11:21,661 --> 01:11:23,069 let's just Jettison that stuff, okay? 1747 01:11:23,111 --> 01:11:25,209 We can't use any of that stuff. 1748 01:11:25,251 --> 01:11:26,771 Gladly. 1749 01:11:26,813 --> 01:11:27,719 Okay? 1750 01:11:27,761 --> 01:11:29,054 - Okay. - Yeah. 1751 01:11:30,411 --> 01:11:31,311 Awesome. 1752 01:11:32,741 --> 01:11:34,079 Okay, what's next? 1753 01:11:34,121 --> 01:11:36,114 Well, we have some writing to do. 1754 01:11:37,411 --> 01:11:38,999 Okay, good. 1755 01:11:39,041 --> 01:11:40,474 All right, let's get started. 1756 01:11:41,981 --> 01:11:42,814 We. 1757 01:11:46,843 --> 01:11:47,676 Okay. 1758 01:11:50,578 --> 01:11:52,229 But if you need anything or... 1759 01:11:52,271 --> 01:11:54,024 Go, David. 1760 01:12:19,221 --> 01:12:20,012 What? 1761 01:12:20,054 --> 01:12:22,569 You said we were gonna do a scene, is this part of it? 1762 01:12:22,611 --> 01:12:23,732 Oh, no, I'm so sorry. 1763 01:12:23,774 --> 01:12:25,779 I meant we're gonna do a scene tomorrow. 1764 01:12:25,821 --> 01:12:26,899 It's gonna be great. 1765 01:12:26,941 --> 01:12:27,732 - Okay. - It will. 1766 01:12:27,774 --> 01:12:29,259 Where's David? 1767 01:12:29,301 --> 01:12:30,909 David's out, he went out. 1768 01:12:30,951 --> 01:12:32,319 Not on a date, I hope. 1769 01:12:32,361 --> 01:12:34,219 Why are you filming this? 1770 01:12:34,261 --> 01:12:35,555 No, I'm not, I'm not filming. 1771 01:12:35,597 --> 01:12:36,430 Oh my God. 1772 01:12:37,651 --> 01:12:38,732 Okay, Crystal. 1773 01:12:40,561 --> 01:12:41,969 David, what the hell? 1774 01:12:42,011 --> 01:12:44,209 Oh, man, I am so sorry. 1775 01:12:44,251 --> 01:12:45,439 You are so busted. 1776 01:12:45,481 --> 01:12:49,379 Shit, Crystal. This is not what it looks like. 1777 01:12:49,421 --> 01:12:51,702 It never is with you, is it? 1778 01:12:51,744 --> 01:12:54,199 It looks like you broke your promise. 1779 01:12:54,241 --> 01:12:56,009 Oh, it looks like you set me up. 1780 01:12:56,051 --> 01:12:58,879 Hey, no, I didn't put your dick in her, man. 1781 01:12:58,921 --> 01:13:00,099 Neither did I. 1782 01:13:00,141 --> 01:13:02,099 It certainly looks like you did. 1783 01:13:02,141 --> 01:13:03,741 No, we still got our pants on. 1784 01:13:05,561 --> 01:13:06,394 See. 1785 01:13:08,491 --> 01:13:10,654 Then why are you lying on top of her? 1786 01:13:12,002 --> 01:13:13,774 You see, I was actually paid to, 1787 01:13:15,201 --> 01:13:17,099 we had to trick Sam into thinking. 1788 01:13:17,141 --> 01:13:18,991 Michaela, you lying slut. 1789 01:13:21,011 --> 01:13:22,139 How could you? 1790 01:13:22,181 --> 01:13:23,669 It's for the movie. 1791 01:13:23,711 --> 01:13:25,989 We were just looking at lies and how people... 1792 01:13:26,031 --> 01:13:28,769 Yeah, and you're certainly an expert, aren't you? 1793 01:13:28,811 --> 01:13:29,874 I need to think. 1794 01:13:31,171 --> 01:13:32,171 No, wait, Crystal. 1795 01:13:34,451 --> 01:13:36,928 Wait, Crystal, I love you. 1796 01:13:37,881 --> 01:13:38,714 I'm sorry. 1797 01:13:39,791 --> 01:13:42,965 I know David, that's why I need to think. 1798 01:13:43,007 --> 01:13:44,449 What do you even need to think about? 1799 01:13:44,491 --> 01:13:46,659 Well, to be honest, I lied too. 1800 01:13:46,701 --> 01:13:47,879 Yeah, obviously. 1801 01:13:47,921 --> 01:13:49,121 Sam, stay out of this. 1802 01:13:50,471 --> 01:13:51,304 Crystal. 1803 01:13:52,261 --> 01:13:54,739 Look, I didn't come over here to do a scene 1804 01:13:54,781 --> 01:13:58,269 and I didn't actually want to be in this movie. 1805 01:13:58,311 --> 01:14:00,609 I wanted to see how far you would go. 1806 01:14:00,651 --> 01:14:02,189 I wanted to see what you were doing 1807 01:14:02,231 --> 01:14:03,889 and whether or not it was illegal. 1808 01:14:03,931 --> 01:14:04,759 Oh no, no. 1809 01:14:04,801 --> 01:14:05,719 I was worried about that too, 1810 01:14:05,761 --> 01:14:07,019 but then Sam pointed out that... 1811 01:14:07,061 --> 01:14:09,399 Actually it is. 1812 01:14:09,441 --> 01:14:10,659 Wait, what the fuck do you know 1813 01:14:10,701 --> 01:14:11,959 about the legalities of any of this? 1814 01:14:12,001 --> 01:14:13,239 Guys, trust me. 1815 01:14:13,281 --> 01:14:16,139 Trust me, we're doing nothing illegal here, okay? 1816 01:14:16,181 --> 01:14:18,069 Now you, I think you're on camera claims. 1817 01:14:18,111 --> 01:14:19,759 Or have to be some kind of contract, 1818 01:14:19,801 --> 01:14:21,101 so that's all good, right? 1819 01:14:22,671 --> 01:14:24,929 I'm sort of an expert. 1820 01:14:24,971 --> 01:14:25,839 What's that? 1821 01:14:25,881 --> 01:14:28,519 A person who knows a lot about a subject. 1822 01:14:28,561 --> 01:14:30,079 All right, Michaela, what are you talking about? 1823 01:14:30,121 --> 01:14:32,252 You see, in my line of work, 1824 01:14:32,294 --> 01:14:35,319 it's really important to know the difference 1825 01:14:35,361 --> 01:14:38,769 between what is and isn't illegal. 1826 01:14:38,811 --> 01:14:40,699 Like, how the presence of a camera changes 1827 01:14:40,741 --> 01:14:43,876 illegal prostitution into legal pornography. 1828 01:14:43,918 --> 01:14:44,709 That's literally the opposite 1829 01:14:44,751 --> 01:14:46,174 of what we're doing here. 1830 01:14:47,011 --> 01:14:49,179 Yeah but, soliciting sex from people 1831 01:14:49,221 --> 01:14:53,259 for the purposes of personal financial gain. 1832 01:14:53,301 --> 01:14:54,309 Okay, all right. 1833 01:14:54,351 --> 01:14:57,169 How is that any different than a woman going on a date 1834 01:14:57,211 --> 01:14:58,069 with a rich guy? 1835 01:14:58,111 --> 01:14:59,629 Come on, David, back me up here. 1836 01:14:59,671 --> 01:15:03,169 Crystal, I swear I had no idea any of this 1837 01:15:03,211 --> 01:15:04,002 was gonna happen. 1838 01:15:04,044 --> 01:15:07,009 I only went into this to help point out the problem of lies, 1839 01:15:07,051 --> 01:15:10,344 from everyone to everyone. 1840 01:15:12,014 --> 01:15:13,359 What are you doing, Sam? 1841 01:15:13,401 --> 01:15:14,951 I'm looking up the law, okay? 1842 01:15:16,411 --> 01:15:18,609 Well, I'm gonna go. 1843 01:15:18,651 --> 01:15:20,301 I've got clients who are waiting. 1844 01:15:25,076 --> 01:15:26,499 Call me if you need to talk. 1845 01:15:26,541 --> 01:15:27,641 Thank you. 1846 01:15:30,336 --> 01:15:33,731 Crystal, please say something. 1847 01:15:33,773 --> 01:15:36,547 No, I don't think I will. 1848 01:15:40,661 --> 01:15:42,873 Okay, yeah, I think I know what we're gonna do. 1849 01:15:42,915 --> 01:15:44,179 You need to get out of my house. 1850 01:15:44,221 --> 01:15:45,109 No, but listen, look, I just found... 1851 01:15:45,151 --> 01:15:47,149 Sam, I'm upset. 1852 01:15:47,191 --> 01:15:50,094 You lied to me, you fucked me over. 1853 01:15:53,461 --> 01:15:54,939 You know what? 1854 01:15:54,981 --> 01:15:55,984 It's my fault too. 1855 01:15:57,091 --> 01:15:59,814 I, David Bush, 1856 01:16:00,901 --> 01:16:01,734 am a liar. 1857 01:16:03,271 --> 01:16:04,062 Okay. 1858 01:16:04,104 --> 01:16:08,104 No, just marinate on that for a second. 1859 01:16:11,621 --> 01:16:13,659 Okay, but we really do need to talk soon 1860 01:16:13,701 --> 01:16:15,179 because this thing's all getting really messy. 1861 01:16:15,221 --> 01:16:16,771 We just gotta wrap it up, okay? 1862 01:16:18,261 --> 01:16:19,094 Oh, fuck. 1863 01:16:30,631 --> 01:16:32,689 I knew he'd asked me to come back. 1864 01:16:41,581 --> 01:16:44,644 David, I was surprised you'd asked me to come by. 1865 01:16:46,941 --> 01:16:48,749 Guess you and Crystal didn't work out? 1866 01:16:48,791 --> 01:16:50,309 No, actually, everything's fine. 1867 01:16:50,351 --> 01:16:52,243 She's the one that told me to call you. 1868 01:16:52,285 --> 01:16:53,202 Come on in. 1869 01:16:55,831 --> 01:16:58,239 Last I heard she was building a case against us. 1870 01:16:58,281 --> 01:17:00,139 Seemed a little suspicious. 1871 01:17:00,181 --> 01:17:02,644 Maybe like it's a trap. 1872 01:17:03,551 --> 01:17:04,801 Sam, that's ridiculous. 1873 01:17:05,761 --> 01:17:07,611 Dude, just admit that you're jealous. 1874 01:17:08,521 --> 01:17:09,312 Okay. 1875 01:17:09,354 --> 01:17:11,809 Yeah, maybe I am a little jealous. 1876 01:17:11,851 --> 01:17:15,907 This was all my idea, this essay of lies 1877 01:17:15,949 --> 01:17:18,399 and the only result is that you found some truth. 1878 01:17:19,251 --> 01:17:21,459 So yeah, I am a little jealous. 1879 01:17:21,501 --> 01:17:22,601 And she's beautiful. 1880 01:17:25,101 --> 01:17:25,949 Yeah, okay. 1881 01:17:25,991 --> 01:17:27,169 She's beautiful, right? 1882 01:17:27,211 --> 01:17:28,454 She's beautiful, okay? 1883 01:17:30,931 --> 01:17:33,269 So you wanna figure out how to end this movie or what? 1884 01:17:33,311 --> 01:17:37,229 Yeah, I think we can wrap it up nice and neat. 1885 01:17:37,271 --> 01:17:40,189 Honestly, it's got a pretty solid structure, 1886 01:17:40,231 --> 01:17:41,959 her trying to tear us apart 1887 01:17:42,001 --> 01:17:45,014 while I inadvertently get to prove my feelings. 1888 01:17:46,201 --> 01:17:47,959 I think that makes a statement. 1889 01:17:48,001 --> 01:17:49,319 A statement how sometimes, 1890 01:17:49,361 --> 01:17:51,311 you have to lie in order to find truth. 1891 01:17:52,291 --> 01:17:53,689 Well, I'm scared of the message that might send, 1892 01:17:53,731 --> 01:17:56,381 we don't want chicks to think it's okay to lie to us. 1893 01:17:57,511 --> 01:17:59,929 But do you think it's okay for guys to lie 1894 01:17:59,971 --> 01:18:01,214 in order to get chicks? 1895 01:18:02,231 --> 01:18:03,799 To find truth. 1896 01:18:03,841 --> 01:18:05,439 But that's not what they're after. 1897 01:18:05,481 --> 01:18:07,449 I mean, at least that's not what I was after. 1898 01:18:07,491 --> 01:18:08,956 I was just calling attention to a... 1899 01:18:12,175 --> 01:18:13,195 Who's that gonna be? 1900 01:18:13,237 --> 01:18:14,149 It's crystal. 1901 01:18:14,191 --> 01:18:16,608 No, dude, it's not Crystal. 1902 01:18:20,811 --> 01:18:21,979 Can I help you? 1903 01:18:22,021 --> 01:18:22,959 I sure hope so. 1904 01:18:23,001 --> 01:18:24,309 Are you David Bush? 1905 01:18:24,351 --> 01:18:25,209 No. 1906 01:18:25,251 --> 01:18:26,974 I'm David, I'm David Bush. 1907 01:18:28,081 --> 01:18:30,899 Ah, so you must be Sam. 1908 01:18:30,941 --> 01:18:31,732 Yeah, Sam. 1909 01:18:31,774 --> 01:18:32,607 Good. 1910 01:18:37,191 --> 01:18:38,359 I'm Ruby Robinson. 1911 01:18:38,401 --> 01:18:40,359 I'm representing Crystal and the others 1912 01:18:40,401 --> 01:18:42,019 in a class action suit. 1913 01:18:42,061 --> 01:18:43,149 What? 1914 01:18:43,191 --> 01:18:46,099 Yes, but before we seek damages, 1915 01:18:46,141 --> 01:18:48,559 they'd like to discuss an emotional settlement. 1916 01:18:48,601 --> 01:18:49,939 The fuck? 1917 01:18:49,981 --> 01:18:51,529 We should listen to them. 1918 01:18:51,571 --> 01:18:52,899 No we shouldn't. 1919 01:18:52,941 --> 01:18:54,609 Yes, you should. 1920 01:18:54,651 --> 01:18:56,339 Well, we won't. 1921 01:18:56,381 --> 01:18:57,214 We will. 1922 01:19:04,161 --> 01:19:04,994 Crystal, 1923 01:19:08,584 --> 01:19:11,649 I believe you have something to say to these two men. 1924 01:19:11,691 --> 01:19:13,339 The women behind me all feel 1925 01:19:13,381 --> 01:19:15,429 that they have been wronged by you. 1926 01:19:15,471 --> 01:19:17,419 And they also realized that 1927 01:19:17,461 --> 01:19:19,389 the most invasive part of your deception 1928 01:19:19,431 --> 01:19:22,449 and the most painful part of your lie, 1929 01:19:22,491 --> 01:19:23,979 was exposing them. 1930 01:19:24,021 --> 01:19:26,899 And exposing their lies and their deceptions. 1931 01:19:26,941 --> 01:19:29,696 So why are they the victims and you the guilty party? 1932 01:19:29,738 --> 01:19:30,984 But, that's allegedly. 1933 01:19:31,026 --> 01:19:31,859 Dude. 1934 01:19:33,411 --> 01:19:34,729 Why? 1935 01:19:34,771 --> 01:19:37,449 Because society has given you power. 1936 01:19:37,491 --> 01:19:38,919 You're in a position of authority 1937 01:19:38,961 --> 01:19:40,159 that's been handed down to you 1938 01:19:40,201 --> 01:19:42,829 from a historically chauvinistic world. 1939 01:19:42,871 --> 01:19:45,020 You therefore have to use honesty 1940 01:19:45,062 --> 01:19:48,779 and understanding for those who have been marginalized. 1941 01:19:48,821 --> 01:19:51,569 So you can help them, rather than exploit them. 1942 01:19:51,611 --> 01:19:53,769 Hasn't sex given you power, though? 1943 01:19:53,811 --> 01:19:54,602 I mean, think about it. 1944 01:19:54,644 --> 01:19:56,789 You have something that men desire, right? 1945 01:19:56,831 --> 01:19:59,419 That you can use against us 1946 01:19:59,461 --> 01:20:01,489 for the people that don't measure up, right? 1947 01:20:01,531 --> 01:20:03,079 So we feel marginalized. 1948 01:20:03,121 --> 01:20:05,274 Only to the extent that you allow it. 1949 01:20:06,111 --> 01:20:08,099 And if you try to claim that your urges 1950 01:20:08,141 --> 01:20:11,634 are somehow our fault, then you're lying to yourself. 1951 01:20:13,991 --> 01:20:17,069 How do you answer? 1952 01:20:17,111 --> 01:20:18,134 Yeah, I disagree. 1953 01:20:19,091 --> 01:20:20,479 Mm-hmm. 1954 01:20:20,521 --> 01:20:23,429 And you. 1955 01:20:23,471 --> 01:20:24,304 Oh, 1956 01:20:25,971 --> 01:20:26,804 I'm a liar. 1957 01:20:28,701 --> 01:20:32,879 I lie because I'm scared of how people will perceive me. 1958 01:20:32,921 --> 01:20:34,699 It's ironic, really. 1959 01:20:34,741 --> 01:20:38,059 I lie to say and tell myself that I'm more masculine 1960 01:20:38,101 --> 01:20:40,139 in order to get the affection that I need 1961 01:20:40,181 --> 01:20:42,549 to tell myself that I'm masculine. 1962 01:20:42,591 --> 01:20:45,554 All these lies do is prevent me from achieving happiness. 1963 01:20:47,481 --> 01:20:51,099 Crystal, I don't wanna lie anymore. 1964 01:20:51,141 --> 01:20:53,434 But at some extent, that I will. 1965 01:20:55,521 --> 01:20:56,521 Can you accept that? 1966 01:20:58,111 --> 01:21:00,229 David, I wish that I could definitely say 1967 01:21:00,271 --> 01:21:02,499 that I tolerate no lies. 1968 01:21:02,541 --> 01:21:04,049 That isn't true. 1969 01:21:04,091 --> 01:21:06,094 To a certain extent, I expect them, 1970 01:21:07,001 --> 01:21:10,359 to a certain extent, I want them, 1971 01:21:10,401 --> 01:21:14,164 to a certain extent, I tell them, can I accept them? 1972 01:21:16,241 --> 01:21:17,354 I can accept you. 1973 01:21:20,077 --> 01:21:21,227 And how do you plead? 1974 01:21:23,948 --> 01:21:26,578 You know what's funny? Is I'm the most honest one here. 1975 01:21:26,620 --> 01:21:27,946 Oh? 1976 01:21:27,988 --> 01:21:30,959 Well, we'll see if a jury agrees. 1977 01:21:31,001 --> 01:21:33,114 Expect a summons soon. 1978 01:21:34,091 --> 01:21:36,241 Oh, we're not pressing charges. 1979 01:21:38,571 --> 01:21:39,484 Why not? 1980 01:21:40,431 --> 01:21:45,431 Forgiveness is another desirable trait, like honesty. 1981 01:21:46,001 --> 01:21:50,379 Besides, when the movie comes out, and amidst all the lies, 1982 01:21:50,421 --> 01:21:52,619 the truth about Sam will be revealed 1983 01:21:52,661 --> 01:21:53,589 and that'll be punishment enough. 1984 01:21:53,631 --> 01:21:55,303 You don't have the right to produce... 1985 01:21:55,345 --> 01:21:56,945 Don't talk to us about rights! 1986 01:21:58,291 --> 01:22:00,759 We actually, technically we do. 1987 01:22:00,801 --> 01:22:01,701 I mean, after all. 1988 01:22:02,621 --> 01:22:04,082 I directed this thing. 1989 01:22:04,124 --> 01:22:06,509 You can't do that, man, you can't. 1990 01:22:06,551 --> 01:22:08,429 Are you sure that you don't wanna sue? 1991 01:22:08,471 --> 01:22:10,549 Because you said... 1992 01:22:10,591 --> 01:22:11,902 You're just in this for the money, right? 1993 01:22:11,944 --> 01:22:13,744 Just say you're in it for the money. 1994 01:22:14,581 --> 01:22:18,055 I can't afford to be, can you? 1995 01:22:32,516 --> 01:22:33,656 That's not the end. 1996 01:22:33,698 --> 01:22:35,769 All right, yeah, that's the end of their edit, 1997 01:22:35,811 --> 01:22:38,844 which I was nice enough to give them, 1998 01:22:39,771 --> 01:22:40,829 true to my word. 1999 01:22:40,871 --> 01:22:42,659 And clearly, it needs some type of epilogue. 2000 01:22:42,701 --> 01:22:44,209 I mean, what is this shit? 2001 01:22:44,251 --> 01:22:45,799 All right? No more plot stuff. 2002 01:22:45,841 --> 01:22:47,389 I need to show you those topless shots. 2003 01:22:47,431 --> 01:22:48,909 Like we've been promising, okay? 2004 01:22:48,951 --> 01:22:51,451 And clearly it's not gonna work in this narrative. 2005 01:22:52,943 --> 01:22:56,259 Did all the women just go to like a free the nipple rally? 2006 01:22:56,301 --> 01:22:59,214 No, the ending that we put together is bullshit. 2007 01:23:00,171 --> 01:23:01,379 And it's fucked up. 2008 01:23:01,421 --> 01:23:04,189 And I need to give you like, 30 second explanation 2009 01:23:04,231 --> 01:23:05,179 as to why. Okay? 2010 01:23:05,221 --> 01:23:08,069 So just bear with me for two seconds. 2011 01:23:08,111 --> 01:23:09,989 I did all this planning, all this hard work 2012 01:23:10,031 --> 01:23:13,799 to figure out these camera angles and what did we get us? 2013 01:23:13,841 --> 01:23:15,169 It's all fucked. 2014 01:23:15,211 --> 01:23:17,139 I mean, who was filming most of those shots? 2015 01:23:17,181 --> 01:23:17,972 Right? 2016 01:23:18,014 --> 01:23:20,219 And then, oh my God, Crystal is in the movie, 2017 01:23:20,261 --> 01:23:21,449 the real Crystal, I mean. 2018 01:23:21,491 --> 01:23:23,289 And I don't mean to be offensive when I say this, 2019 01:23:23,331 --> 01:23:25,629 but she doesn't even look like a lawyer, okay? 2020 01:23:25,671 --> 01:23:27,869 I don't mean that in a sexist way, but it's true. 2021 01:23:27,911 --> 01:23:28,919 It's so stupid. 2022 01:23:28,961 --> 01:23:33,629 And how did she pull a whole confrontation as a lawyer 2023 01:23:33,671 --> 01:23:34,929 with the defense and the plaintiff 2024 01:23:34,971 --> 01:23:35,762 in the middle of the street? 2025 01:23:35,804 --> 01:23:39,199 I mean, this isn't a fucking medieval duel. 2026 01:23:39,241 --> 01:23:40,379 Okay? It's ridiculous. 2027 01:23:40,421 --> 01:23:42,469 And then everyone, everyone but my character 2028 01:23:42,511 --> 01:23:45,349 has some kind of moral message that they've learned. 2029 01:23:45,391 --> 01:23:48,229 So how does a movie that's trying to be truthful 2030 01:23:48,271 --> 01:23:49,909 in the exposing of lies, 2031 01:23:49,951 --> 01:23:51,739 become a lie in itself? 2032 01:23:51,781 --> 01:23:55,299 That I can tell you, my friend, that's easy. 2033 01:23:55,341 --> 01:23:56,909 Because it is easy. 2034 01:23:56,951 --> 01:24:01,219 It's easy to stomach a happy lie than a sad truth. 2035 01:24:01,261 --> 01:24:04,959 Look at "Memento," "Shutter Island," "Inception," right? 2036 01:24:05,001 --> 01:24:07,179 Or Pretty Woman," yeah. 2037 01:24:07,221 --> 01:24:09,849 You think true love is gonna trump prostitution? 2038 01:24:09,891 --> 01:24:11,019 Get the fuck outta here. 2039 01:24:11,061 --> 01:24:12,159 That's an easy sell. 2040 01:24:12,201 --> 01:24:13,439 That's a cop out. 2041 01:24:13,481 --> 01:24:14,689 Okay? 2042 01:24:14,731 --> 01:24:16,619 This is it. 2043 01:24:16,661 --> 01:24:17,459 You want an answer? 2044 01:24:17,501 --> 01:24:19,479 You want a moral to the story? 2045 01:24:19,521 --> 01:24:21,929 There are no lies. There is no truth. 2046 01:24:21,971 --> 01:24:23,339 It's all fucked, okay? 2047 01:24:23,381 --> 01:24:24,259 It's all gray. 2048 01:24:24,301 --> 01:24:25,936 It came around full circle. 2049 01:24:25,978 --> 01:24:28,489 And it also made no fucking sense. 2050 01:24:28,531 --> 01:24:29,329 So that's it. 2051 01:24:29,371 --> 01:24:31,339 That's it, the movie's over, the end. 2052 01:24:31,381 --> 01:24:33,134 That is not the end. 2053 01:24:34,251 --> 01:24:35,929 How did you guys get in here? 2054 01:24:35,971 --> 01:24:38,539 You gave my character the keys, remember? 2055 01:24:38,581 --> 01:24:39,929 That doesn't make sense. 2056 01:24:39,971 --> 01:24:41,129 You know what doesn't make sense? 2057 01:24:41,171 --> 01:24:43,019 You promising to give us the final edit, 2058 01:24:43,061 --> 01:24:45,239 yet here you are modifying the ending. 2059 01:24:45,281 --> 01:24:46,072 No, this isn't the end. 2060 01:24:46,114 --> 01:24:48,639 This is a post-script. 2061 01:24:48,681 --> 01:24:50,224 Certainly not in the script. 2062 01:24:51,821 --> 01:24:52,871 That's very clever. 2063 01:24:54,331 --> 01:24:56,189 Unlike that smear message thing 2064 01:24:56,231 --> 01:24:59,268 that you guys added, you and Crystal, to make me look bad. 2065 01:24:59,310 --> 01:25:01,689 I can't help it that your privilege 2066 01:25:01,731 --> 01:25:03,839 prevents you from being able to understand it. 2067 01:25:03,881 --> 01:25:05,129 Hey, listen, okay... 2068 01:25:05,171 --> 01:25:06,359 Hey, what privilege? 2069 01:25:06,401 --> 01:25:07,551 I mean, I understand. 2070 01:25:08,671 --> 01:25:10,199 Hmm. 2071 01:25:10,241 --> 01:25:13,939 Look, I don't like people to think I'm a liar, okay? 2072 01:25:13,981 --> 01:25:15,059 So this is what we'll do. 2073 01:25:15,101 --> 01:25:16,779 We'll sit everybody down, you, Crystal, 2074 01:25:16,821 --> 01:25:18,259 anyone else that wants to be there 2075 01:25:18,301 --> 01:25:20,189 and we'll watch the movie. 2076 01:25:20,231 --> 01:25:22,449 And we'll see if it's more powerful with or without 2077 01:25:22,491 --> 01:25:23,324 the new ending. 2078 01:25:24,441 --> 01:25:25,274 Which one? 2079 01:25:26,108 --> 01:25:26,941 Exactly. 2080 01:25:38,511 --> 01:25:39,344 Is this on? 2081 01:25:44,061 --> 01:25:45,699 Okay, that's it. 2082 01:25:45,741 --> 01:25:47,359 We'll add some fake credits, 2083 01:25:47,401 --> 01:25:49,509 my friend, he's a composer, he made this really great song. 2084 01:25:49,551 --> 01:25:51,444 It's not too fast, nice and soft. 2085 01:25:52,341 --> 01:25:54,460 It's gonna be great, I just haven't had time 2086 01:25:54,502 --> 01:25:56,524 to put it in yet, so. 2087 01:25:59,531 --> 01:26:00,579 Well, Cynthia, I mean, you were right. 2088 01:26:00,621 --> 01:26:03,709 I did not understand what we just watched. 2089 01:26:03,751 --> 01:26:05,149 Nobody's gonna understand it. 2090 01:26:05,191 --> 01:26:07,249 It's too fucking meta to make any sense. 2091 01:26:07,291 --> 01:26:08,609 And the fact that it draws attention 2092 01:26:08,651 --> 01:26:09,704 to itself being meta, 2093 01:26:11,201 --> 01:26:13,399 that joke gets really stale, except for like, 2094 01:26:13,441 --> 01:26:14,879 maybe in the last scene. 2095 01:26:14,921 --> 01:26:17,039 You actually need to cut that last speech out, I think. 2096 01:26:17,081 --> 01:26:18,289 Jesus Christ, all right. 2097 01:26:18,331 --> 01:26:19,539 How the fuck do you think you're gonna know 2098 01:26:19,581 --> 01:26:20,689 what an audience wants to hear? 2099 01:26:20,731 --> 01:26:22,059 You don't even know what you want. 2100 01:26:22,101 --> 01:26:23,529 We just want you to tell the truth. 2101 01:26:23,571 --> 01:26:25,966 Yes, like a few good men. 2102 01:26:26,008 --> 01:26:29,224 And cut out all of the cheesy references from the film. 2103 01:26:30,491 --> 01:26:32,320 So that's what you want? You want the truth? 2104 01:26:32,362 --> 01:26:33,249 Yeah. 2105 01:26:33,291 --> 01:26:34,199 All of you want the truth? 2106 01:26:34,241 --> 01:26:35,074 Yes. 2107 01:26:36,921 --> 01:26:38,509 Okay, you want the truth? 2108 01:26:38,551 --> 01:26:40,989 The truth is, if I cut out all the lies in this movie, 2109 01:26:41,031 --> 01:26:42,019 there will be no movie. 2110 01:26:42,061 --> 01:26:42,852 How about that? 2111 01:26:42,894 --> 01:26:44,524 Great. No movie it is. 2112 01:26:47,401 --> 01:26:49,154 Okay, no movie. 2113 01:27:00,841 --> 01:27:02,742 David, how was that? Was that good? 2114 01:27:02,784 --> 01:27:05,849 That was great guys, you killed it. 2115 01:27:05,891 --> 01:27:06,836 Oh, thank you, man. 2116 01:27:06,878 --> 01:27:09,099 It's a solid fuckin' film. 2117 01:27:09,141 --> 01:27:11,629 Challenging, but easy to follow. 2118 01:27:11,671 --> 01:27:12,539 Well done. 2119 01:27:12,581 --> 01:27:14,369 Thank you. 2120 01:27:14,411 --> 01:27:16,832 Jesus, Claire, the cameras are still rolling. 2121 01:27:16,874 --> 01:27:18,285 Oh, are they now. 2122 01:27:18,327 --> 01:27:19,118 Oh! 2123 01:27:19,160 --> 01:27:21,099 Does anybody do that in real life? 2124 01:27:21,141 --> 01:27:23,489 Hey, what happened to the booby shots? 2125 01:27:23,531 --> 01:27:24,869 Are we still using those? 2126 01:27:24,911 --> 01:27:28,364 Wait, those were just for the producer's cut, right? 2127 01:27:29,211 --> 01:27:30,229 No, no, they're in there. 2128 01:27:30,271 --> 01:27:32,149 I'll put them after a placeholder for the credits. 2129 01:27:32,191 --> 01:27:33,164 Stop. 2130 01:27:33,206 --> 01:27:35,114 I just didn't want it to be awkward 2131 01:27:35,156 --> 01:27:36,219 for everyone here. 2132 01:27:36,261 --> 01:27:39,904 Yeah, I see how this could've been uncomfortable. 2133 01:27:40,831 --> 01:27:42,179 Guys, it's been great, seriously. 2134 01:27:42,221 --> 01:27:44,039 We have to run and go catch a show, 2135 01:27:44,081 --> 01:27:45,609 but it's been a lot of fun 2136 01:27:45,651 --> 01:27:47,419 and hopefully we can run into y'all again 2137 01:27:47,461 --> 01:27:48,619 when this makes it to theaters, you know, 2138 01:27:48,661 --> 01:27:50,546 do the red carpet treatment and all that stuff. 2139 01:27:50,588 --> 01:27:51,813 Thank you so much, David 2140 01:27:51,855 --> 01:27:53,139 - I really appreciate it. - Thanks guys, take care. 2141 01:27:53,181 --> 01:27:54,181 Bye. 2142 01:27:55,618 --> 01:27:56,409 Bad liar. 2143 01:27:56,451 --> 01:27:57,242 Let's go. 2144 01:27:57,284 --> 01:27:58,851 We'll walk you out. 2145 01:28:07,853 --> 01:28:08,686 And cut. 2146 01:28:46,358 --> 01:28:47,279 Okay, so what do I do? 2147 01:28:47,321 --> 01:28:49,229 I just show them? 2148 01:28:49,271 --> 01:28:50,419 Yeah, just take your robe off 2149 01:28:50,461 --> 01:28:51,252 and shake them around. 2150 01:28:51,294 --> 01:28:52,521 Do whatever you feel comfortable with. 2151 01:28:52,563 --> 01:28:53,354 Okay. 2152 01:28:53,396 --> 01:28:56,492 And robe off. 2153 01:28:56,534 --> 01:28:58,779 Mark it, take 9. 2154 01:28:58,821 --> 01:28:59,654 Mark. 2155 01:31:21,824 --> 01:31:26,824 Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull 149303

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