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Good evening. Welcome to another
edition of Where Are They?
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00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,760
All over the world, there are men
and women doing unusual things.
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00:02:03,050 --> 00:02:05,680
This evening, let's take
a look at Reginald Blake,
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00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:07,800
author and explorer,
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00:02:07,890 --> 00:02:10,140
last interviewed on this
programme several months ago,
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00:02:10,180 --> 00:02:13,720
before he embarked on one
of his more hazardous adventures.
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00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:15,470
Where is he now?
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00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:18,050
(Presenter)
This is a map of the Sahara.
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00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:20,100
And somewhere about here,
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00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,850
Reginald Blake is walking.
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00:02:23,050 --> 00:02:26,300
Intending to be the first man
to walk across the Sahara.
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00:02:26,430 --> 00:02:28,510
Mad? Impetuous?
13
00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,930
Perhaps. But also brave;
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00:02:31,090 --> 00:02:32,760
a pioneer.
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00:02:35,140 --> 00:02:38,220
Let me tell you something
about him, and his adventures...
16
00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:39,590
...in Africa,
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00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:43,640
where he removed a thorn
from the paw of a savage lion.
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00:02:43,890 --> 00:02:47,270
And here, six months later, having
recovered from his wounds.
19
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,350
He's on the brink of
death in the Andes...
20
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,930
but, still, smiling gamely.
21
00:02:53,180 --> 00:02:55,140
And here he is in the Arctic.
22
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:58,130
An ice floe had broken
away from the main body...
23
00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:01,840
...and it was several weeks before
they discovered that he was still alive.
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00:03:02,090 --> 00:03:05,970
Well, that tells us a little about
Reginald Blake and his adventures;
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00:03:06,260 --> 00:03:10,510
adventures which his many successful
books have described in moving detail.
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00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,630
But, where is he now?
27
00:03:13,970 --> 00:03:19,220
This man to whom every trackless waste
is as familiar as his own back yard?
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00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:20,850
He's lost.
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00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:24,550
Lost...?
30
00:04:06,300 --> 00:04:09,050
(Fran) Charles, how can you
sit there looking so happy?
31
00:04:09,430 --> 00:04:11,010
(Fran)
Reggie may be dead!
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00:04:11,090 --> 00:04:15,010
My dear Fran, old Reggie
doesn't die. He only disappears.
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00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:17,060
D'you know how good that is for business?
Look at this:
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00:04:17,140 --> 00:04:19,850
we've sold 130,000 copies.
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00:04:19,890 --> 00:04:23,390
I don't know how many we'd have got rid of if I
hadn't had the idea of Reggie clinging to the cliff.
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00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,760
With, of course, a ledge six
inches under his feet.
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00:04:27,010 --> 00:04:30,010
And this: 154,000.
Not bad.
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00:04:30,260 --> 00:04:32,720
Just for sitting on a piece of
ice with an outboard motor,
39
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,840
two cases of champagne
and a fur-lined sleeping bag.
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00:04:35,890 --> 00:04:40,220
All of which, of course, happened to fall overboard
just as the rescue ship came into sight.
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00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:43,220
And this, my dear: 172,000.
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00:04:43,300 --> 00:04:46,300
Well worth the cost of half
a dozen rubber sharks.
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00:04:46,510 --> 00:04:48,550
One of those sharks was real!
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00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,100
Yes, that was a bit unfortunate,
I admit. I'm sorry about that.
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00:04:51,180 --> 00:04:53,680
Also, you make it sound as though
the way he wrote those books
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00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,100
had nothing to do with it.
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00:04:55,180 --> 00:04:57,180
(Fran)
They were good ― very good.
48
00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:59,090
Oh, yes, they were
all right, but, er...
49
00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:01,180
I don't know how we'd have
done if we hadn't, er,
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00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:02,720
helped them along a bit.
51
00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:05,760
Now, this, my dear, this:
'I Conquered the Desert'.
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00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,850
With the whole country holding
its breath for dear old Reggie,
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00:05:08,890 --> 00:05:11,060
there's no knowing how
many copies we might sell.
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00:05:11,090 --> 00:05:13,420
He wasn't meant to
get lost this time.
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00:05:13,550 --> 00:05:15,800
No, but you know Reggie; he probably
thought it was a bit too easy.
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00:05:15,930 --> 00:05:17,470
Well, I don't like it.
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00:05:17,550 --> 00:05:21,130
I much preferred it when he was
a nice, quiet, home-loving husband.
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00:05:21,180 --> 00:05:24,640
What? You mean when he was
writing that ridiculous radio series
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00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,680
'Life with the McTavishes'?
You can't be serious.
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00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,590
Look at him now ― famous, successful...
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00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:30,770
- And lost!
- Oh, no, no. My dear girl,
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00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,720
I promise you, I promise you,
I wouldn't be talking in this way
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00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:36,760
if I hadn't every confidence that he'd
come out of this safe and sound.
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00:05:37,010 --> 00:05:38,390
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
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00:05:38,640 --> 00:05:39,640
Yes?
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00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:41,050
Yes, when?
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00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:42,140
(Fran)
What is it?
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00:05:42,260 --> 00:05:43,220
Ssh.
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00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:44,630
Er, have you confirmed it?
70
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,090
Reggie?!
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00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,930
Fine. Leave all
the details to me.
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00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:52,260
They've found him alive and well!
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00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:11,970
(Announcement) Announcing the arrival
of British Overseas Airways Flight
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00:06:12,010 --> 00:06:14,590
(Announcement)
951 from Hong Kong,
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00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:20,970
(Announcement) Bangkok, Delhi,
Bahrain, Cairo and Dusseldorf.
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00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:24,680
(Air Hostess)
Hope you had a pleasant stay.
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00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,260
(Air Hostess)
Watch your step.
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00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:38,140
(Announcement) Announcing the departure
of British Overseas Airways Flight 735
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00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,970
(Announcement)
for Rome, Karachi,
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00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:44,430
(Announcement)
Calcutta, Bangkok and Hong Kong.
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00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:47,220
(Fran)
Where is he?
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00:06:47,340 --> 00:06:49,840
He knows what he's doing.
He's making an entrance.
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00:06:55,430 --> 00:06:56,890
(Fran)
Reggie!
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00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,380
(Reggie)
Thank you, driver.
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00:07:06,470 --> 00:07:08,300
(Reggie)
May all your wives be fruitful.
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00:07:08,430 --> 00:07:10,060
(Fran)
What's he doing in that outfit?
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00:07:10,140 --> 00:07:12,850
You know how impressionable
he is. It'll soon wear off.
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00:07:13,010 --> 00:07:14,970
Doesn't he look marvellous!
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00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,140
(Charles)
Hello, my boy. Ha, ha, ha!
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00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:25,260
- (Reggie) Charles.
- (Charles) How are you?
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00:07:25,340 --> 00:07:26,760
(Reporter)
What do you think of the weather, Mr Blake?
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00:07:26,890 --> 00:07:28,680
(Reggie)
Allah is doing his nut.
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00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,140
(Reporter)
Would you care to make a statement, Mr Blake?
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00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:32,060
(Charles)
Now, then, boys ― one question at a time.
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(Reporter)
Could you tell us what really happened, Mr Blake?
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(Reggie)
Of course, of course.
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00:07:36,010 --> 00:07:38,510
(Reggie)
Well, after I'd been walking for six weeks,
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00:07:38,590 --> 00:07:41,590
(Reggie) by examining the
position of the sun on the horizon
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00:07:41,640 --> 00:07:45,220
and the shadows cast on the sand
dunes, I made a simple discovery:
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00:07:45,300 --> 00:07:47,090
- (Reggie) I was lost.
- (Reporter) Did you panic?
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00:07:47,220 --> 00:07:48,640
(Reggie)
How do you spell that?
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00:07:49,220 --> 00:07:52,350
After several days of hunger
and indescribable thirst,
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I was discovered by some nomads.
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(Reporter)
Were they hostile?
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00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:58,430
Oh, only at first, until they discovered
that I could speak their dialect.
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00:07:58,590 --> 00:08:02,300
They were a practically unknown
tribe, called the Kaliphari.
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00:08:02,390 --> 00:08:05,100
(Reporter) If they were practically unknown,
how could you have know their dialect?
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00:08:05,890 --> 00:08:07,680
(Reggie) Would you care to
rephrase that question?
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00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,720
Listen to him; they're
buying every word of it.
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00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:11,680
I wonder what really happened?
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00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:12,760
Ssh!
112
00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,720
Well, after they'd fed and clothed
me, I regained my strength,
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00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:18,640
and then I had a hand-to-hand battle with
one of them who took a dislike to me.
114
00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:19,720
(Reporter)
Did you kill him?
115
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,220
No, but I gave him a
very severe thrashing.
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00:08:22,390 --> 00:08:24,770
After this, they made me a
blood member of the tribe,
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00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,090
and gave me my own
camel, and four wives.
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00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:29,550
- (All Reporters) Four wives?!
- (All Reporters) What were they like, then?
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00:08:30,470 --> 00:08:32,800
All right, all right, that's enough for now.
Mr Blake's tired.
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00:08:32,890 --> 00:08:34,930
We'll have a press conference
in my office later in the week.
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00:08:51,970 --> 00:08:53,220
(Reggie)
Insha'Allah.
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00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:55,630
(Reggie) Be it ever so humble,
there's no place like home!
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00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,600
(MUSIC BLARING)
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00:09:05,340 --> 00:09:07,800
(Charles)
Congratulations Reggie. You've done marvellously.
125
00:09:07,890 --> 00:09:09,890
(Charles) The greatest bit of
publicity we've ever thought of.
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00:09:09,930 --> 00:09:11,890
(Charles) I tell you what I'll do:
I'll arrange an interview for you
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00:09:11,930 --> 00:09:14,470
with 'Life' magazine,
and then perhaps a lecture tour, if you'd care for that...
128
00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:17,220
Then, if the book doesn't top the
best-sellers list for at least a year,
129
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:19,430
I'll walk the Sahara myself!
130
00:09:19,470 --> 00:09:21,350
Wanda, this is Mr Blake.
131
00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:22,760
Wanda baby-sat for us.
132
00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:23,840
(Reggie)
Ah.
133
00:09:23,890 --> 00:09:27,020
Oh, Mr Blake, I can't tell you how
glad I am you're not dead.
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00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:29,470
What a touching thing to say.
135
00:09:30,050 --> 00:09:31,680
I've read all your books,
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00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:35,260
and the one about the Eskimo
was simply fantabulous.
137
00:09:35,340 --> 00:09:37,760
Thank you. Go home
to your tent, child.
138
00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,100
Thank you, Wanda.
139
00:09:40,390 --> 00:09:42,270
(GASPS)
Thank you, Mrs Blake!
140
00:09:45,220 --> 00:09:47,430
You look... so romantic, Mr Blake.
141
00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:57,090
Now, there are no reporters here.
Tell us what actually happened!
142
00:09:57,140 --> 00:09:58,970
(Charles)
We're dying to hear the real story?
143
00:09:59,260 --> 00:10:01,430
The real story? It's all
real, every word of it!
144
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,600
You mean, what you told the
reporters at the airport was true?
145
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,050
Every single word!
146
00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:09,770
(Charles) But how? You had the supply
trucks and the wireless that I provided...
147
00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,840
(Charles) ...and what about those
hostile Bedouins that I'd arranged for?
148
00:10:12,930 --> 00:10:14,760
Well, they must've had a
better offer ― they didn't turn up.
149
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,470
And then this sandstorm started...
150
00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:17,970
Sandstorm?
151
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:19,430
Yes, it was ghastly.
152
00:10:19,510 --> 00:10:21,890
How can I describe it? I
know: imagine Manchester,
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00:10:21,930 --> 00:10:23,560
but not rain - sand.
154
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,350
(Reggie)
And when it finally cleared, I was alone.
155
00:10:25,390 --> 00:10:26,720
No trucks, no wireless; nothing.
156
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:27,880
Really?
157
00:10:27,970 --> 00:10:30,100
Best thing that ever happened
to me! Cleared my mind!
158
00:10:30,140 --> 00:10:32,560
For the first time, I had to
use my own resources.
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00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,100
Resources, Charles,
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00:10:34,180 --> 00:10:37,890
which have been buried because of the
life of lies and sham you forced on me!
161
00:10:37,970 --> 00:10:40,760
(Charles) I forced on you? You
agreed to every one of them.
162
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,260
In fact, you insisted.
163
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:43,800
That's beside the point.
164
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,010
For the very first time in my life, I was
just a man against the elements;
165
00:10:47,090 --> 00:10:49,050
not a writer against a deadline.
166
00:10:49,180 --> 00:10:51,970
And this was the cauldron from which
emerged the new Reggie Blake
167
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:54,970
you see now:
fine; clean; noble...
168
00:10:55,140 --> 00:10:56,520
and humble.
169
00:10:56,550 --> 00:10:57,720
(Charles)
'Humble'? Oh, ho, ho, ho!
170
00:10:57,800 --> 00:10:59,430
(Reggie)
Charles, it's all here.
171
00:10:59,510 --> 00:11:02,260
The first chapters of my new book:
'I Conquered Reggie Blake'.
172
00:11:02,340 --> 00:11:04,260
(Charles)
What happened to I Conquered the Desert'?
173
00:11:04,340 --> 00:11:06,670
Say nothing. Read, then talk.
174
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,140
(Charles)
I'll have a look at it tonight.
175
00:11:08,220 --> 00:11:09,720
It's my legacy to the world,
176
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,300
to stir the hearts and
minds of all mankind.
177
00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:13,630
You won't sleep a wink.
178
00:11:13,720 --> 00:11:14,850
- Reggie -
- Yes?
179
00:11:14,930 --> 00:11:17,220
Those four wives you
said they gave you...
180
00:11:17,300 --> 00:11:19,090
- (Reggie) Yes?
- Was that true also?
181
00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:20,520
Yes!
182
00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:22,560
(Fran)
Oh.
183
00:11:23,590 --> 00:11:24,970
...in name only.
184
00:11:25,090 --> 00:11:28,340
You know, those women smear
themselves all over with camel butter...
185
00:11:28,430 --> 00:11:31,100
revolting!
Ah, that reminds me...
186
00:11:31,140 --> 00:11:32,470
(Reggie)
For you.
187
00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:33,720
(Fran)
For me?
188
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:34,840
(Reggie)
Yes, for you. Put it on.
189
00:11:34,890 --> 00:11:36,850
(Fran) Oh, it's... well...
Ooh, wait a minute...
190
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:39,260
(Reggie)
One arm there... one arm there...
191
00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:42,340
The women wear it whenever
there are strange men present.
192
00:11:43,890 --> 00:11:45,470
(Charles)
You all right in there?
193
00:11:45,510 --> 00:11:46,550
(Fran)
Yes, er...
194
00:11:46,590 --> 00:11:48,340
- (Charles) Don't want to suffocate her.
- (Reggie) Oh, she'll be all right.
195
00:11:48,470 --> 00:11:50,180
(Reggie) Come and have a
look at yourself in the mirror.
196
00:11:52,430 --> 00:11:53,930
(Reggie)
It's a yashmak.
197
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:56,670
(Fran)
That's exactly what it looks like.
198
00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:58,930
It gives a woman an air
of mystery, don't you think?
199
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,300
I'll tell you what I think later.
200
00:12:02,340 --> 00:12:03,470
(Child's voice)
Daddy!
201
00:12:03,510 --> 00:12:05,590
(Reggie) My son!
A-hah!
202
00:12:07,180 --> 00:12:09,310
(Reggie)
Salaam Alaikum, old friend.
203
00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:11,680
(Charles)
Thank you. Salaam Alaikum to you.
204
00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:13,970
I want my daddy!
205
00:12:14,050 --> 00:12:15,180
Here I am, my son.
206
00:12:15,260 --> 00:12:16,550
You're not my daddy!
207
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:18,970
(Bill)
You're not my daddy!
208
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,100
(Reggie)
Ooouw!
209
00:12:22,220 --> 00:12:23,680
(Reggie)
What's the matter with him?
210
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,300
He took one look at me and ran away!
211
00:12:25,390 --> 00:12:27,180
He's very smart for his age.
212
00:12:27,220 --> 00:12:28,550
(Reggie)
He's ve...?
213
00:12:30,970 --> 00:12:32,760
(Fran)
Oh, there,
214
00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:35,970
(Fran)
Darling, look, it's only Daddy.
215
00:12:36,050 --> 00:12:37,510
(Reggie)
What's wrong with him?
216
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,800
(Fran)
It's your beard.
217
00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:40,600
My beard? Give him to me.
218
00:12:41,090 --> 00:12:43,380
There you are, ba―oowooh!
219
00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:47,720
Where are you going?
220
00:12:48,430 --> 00:12:49,760
To shave.
221
00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:54,720
(REGGIE SINGS IN ARABIC)
222
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:01,420
What's that you're singing, Reggie?
223
00:13:02,010 --> 00:13:03,930
(Reggie)
It's an old Bedouin love song.
224
00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:06,130
(Fran)
Oh.
225
00:13:06,970 --> 00:13:08,510
(CONTINUES SINGING)
226
00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:10,640
What do the words mean?
227
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:14,180
'I love your long white
teeth and shaggy hair'.
228
00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:18,090
(Fran) Those women
must be really dreadful.
229
00:13:18,390 --> 00:13:20,680
The song is to a camel.
230
00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:22,170
Oh.
231
00:13:22,470 --> 00:13:24,140
(HUMMING)
232
00:13:25,550 --> 00:13:26,930
Did you miss me?
233
00:13:26,970 --> 00:13:28,220
(Reggie)
Of course.
234
00:13:28,260 --> 00:13:29,840
I missed you.
235
00:13:30,050 --> 00:13:31,880
I saved all your letters.
236
00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:34,340
Keep them. They'll
be valuable someday.
237
00:13:39,140 --> 00:13:40,970
(Fran)
What on earth are you doing?
238
00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:42,430
(Reggie)
Going to bed.
239
00:13:42,470 --> 00:13:43,720
(Fran)
On the floor?
240
00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:45,260
(Reggie)
I got used to it.
241
00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,420
(Reggie)
Fran.
242
00:13:53,090 --> 00:13:54,220
(Fran)
Never!
243
00:13:55,970 --> 00:13:58,260
(Reggie)
Camel drivers have an old saying...
244
00:13:58,340 --> 00:14:00,920
(Fran) I am not interested
in what the camel drivers say!
245
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:06,890
What saying?
246
00:14:07,260 --> 00:14:10,180
Annah hibkek inteh yanah bibkee.
247
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,260
(Fran)
Reggie, no!
248
00:14:12,300 --> 00:14:13,630
(Fran)
No, no, no, no, no!
249
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:14,890
(Fran)
Reggie, stop it!
250
00:14:14,930 --> 00:14:17,680
(Fran)
No! No, no, no, no, no, no...!
251
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:21,550
Morning, my love.
252
00:14:23,050 --> 00:14:24,430
Sleep well?
253
00:14:24,470 --> 00:14:25,680
No.
254
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:28,630
How is our little manchild this morning?
255
00:14:28,680 --> 00:14:30,850
Our little manchild won't eat.
256
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:32,300
Nonsense!
257
00:14:34,050 --> 00:14:36,590
He wants to grow up to
big and brave, like his father.
258
00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:37,760
(Reggie)
Don't you, Bill?
259
00:14:37,930 --> 00:14:39,510
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
260
00:14:39,550 --> 00:14:42,800
Ah! It's probably Charles,
unable to control his enthusiasm.
261
00:14:42,970 --> 00:14:44,800
I'll get it, master.
262
00:14:45,010 --> 00:14:46,720
Make sure the baby eats.
263
00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,010
There you are...
264
00:14:54,180 --> 00:14:56,640
He has spirit.
But we will crush it.
265
00:14:59,970 --> 00:15:01,350
Come along.
266
00:15:01,470 --> 00:15:02,720
(Bill)
No!
267
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:03,880
Oh, dear.
268
00:15:03,930 --> 00:15:05,890
(Charles over telephone) Fran, I'm coming
over to tell him what I think of those chapters...
269
00:15:05,930 --> 00:15:07,100
(Charles over telephone)
Thank you.
270
00:15:07,180 --> 00:15:08,310
(HE HANGS UP)
271
00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:21,930
(Reggie)
Who- aw...
272
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,550
All around me, I saw
the Kaliphari warriors,
273
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:33,930
their burning eyes looking down at me.
274
00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:37,090
My senses hadn't yet completely returned.
275
00:15:37,430 --> 00:15:40,140
Rough hands dragged me to my feet...
276
00:15:40,260 --> 00:15:42,050
(VACUUM CLEANING STARTS)
277
00:15:44,180 --> 00:15:45,850
(Reggie)
I knew what I had to do.
278
00:15:46,550 --> 00:15:48,220
I passed out again.
279
00:15:53,970 --> 00:15:55,350
(Reggie)
Well?
280
00:15:55,510 --> 00:15:56,760
(Reggie)
Well, turn it off!
281
00:15:58,180 --> 00:16:00,060
Any more of this noise
while I'm working, and I'll―
282
00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:02,840
I'm sorry, darling, but the
baby spilled something.
283
00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:04,470
Tie his hands!
284
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,060
(MAKES SHOOTING NOISE)
285
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:16,670
It was then that I first noticed the
ragged bundles of humanity
286
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,760
as they scurried round the camp.
287
00:16:18,800 --> 00:16:20,010
(DOORBELL RINGS)
288
00:16:20,050 --> 00:16:22,930
I wondered who they were as I
watched them unload the camels,
289
00:16:23,010 --> 00:16:25,720
and start to prepare the food...
290
00:16:27,300 --> 00:16:29,630
some of them chanting an
old song which meant―
291
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:34,220
(DOORBELL RINGS) 'Oh, how glorious
it is to work and slave for my master!'
292
00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:36,770
These were the Kaliphari women.
293
00:16:36,840 --> 00:16:38,050
(DOORBELL RINGS)
294
00:16:38,470 --> 00:16:39,760
(Reggie)
Answer the bell!
295
00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:41,340
I'm going!
296
00:16:43,550 --> 00:16:45,090
Good morning, have you a moment?
297
00:16:45,180 --> 00:16:46,180
(Fran)
Well...
298
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:49,550
I'm helping in a government survey to determine
whether the British housewife of today
299
00:16:49,590 --> 00:16:52,090
has more, or less, freedom
than her mother did.
300
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:54,560
(Fran)
Oh, you are, are you?
301
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,390
(Fran)
Well, come in!
302
00:16:58,510 --> 00:17:02,010
Does your husband believe
in the equality of women?
303
00:17:03,050 --> 00:17:04,220
Why don't we ask him?
304
00:17:04,260 --> 00:17:05,840
Oh, what a splendid idea.
305
00:17:07,090 --> 00:17:11,010
At the age of eight, all female
children don the yashmak,
306
00:17:11,050 --> 00:17:12,680
and their labours begin.
307
00:17:12,760 --> 00:17:14,430
(Reggie) They carried heavy
water bags all the way to the well...
308
00:17:14,470 --> 00:17:15,850
- (Fran) Reggie?
- (Reggie) Hm?
309
00:17:15,930 --> 00:17:18,060
(Fran) Do you believe in
the equality of women?
310
00:17:18,140 --> 00:17:20,470
Shut the door! Oh, and
get me some lunch!
311
00:17:23,680 --> 00:17:25,220
Next question?
312
00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,640
(Bill)
Hello, Uncle Charlie!
313
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,560
(Charles)
Hello, my boy. How are you?
314
00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:31,670
(Bill)
All right.
315
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,260
(Charles)
All right, wait for me, wait for me.
316
00:17:33,300 --> 00:17:35,720
Let's get rid of my hat and coat.
Now, then, come along.
317
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,130
(Charles)
Let's go and find Mum.
318
00:17:37,180 --> 00:17:38,560
(Charles)
Oh-ho, there she is.
319
00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,680
(Charles)
I say, you're in a nice mess, aren't you?
320
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:41,930
(Fran)
Charles...
321
00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:43,680
(Charles)
Tell me, how is he?
322
00:17:43,890 --> 00:17:45,310
(Fran)
Oh, he's edgy.
323
00:17:45,340 --> 00:17:46,550
Is he? Oh, dear.
324
00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:48,390
Is his stuff really as
bad as you said?
325
00:17:48,470 --> 00:17:50,930
Good Heavens, its like the Koran,
with Reggie playing the lead.
326
00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,850
D'you know what he
calls Chapter Three?
327
00:17:52,930 --> 00:17:54,310
I don't dare ask.
328
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,630
'A Woman Is a Sometimes Thing'.
329
00:17:57,340 --> 00:17:58,470
I believe it.
330
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:00,140
It's certainly not the
book I contracted for.
331
00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,850
I'll have to be very firm with
him, very firm indeed.
332
00:18:02,890 --> 00:18:04,600
Charles, it's going to break his heart.
333
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:07,770
Hearts don't break under my
gentle touch. Leave him to me.
334
00:18:08,140 --> 00:18:09,270
(Reggie)
Aah!
335
00:18:09,340 --> 00:18:10,970
- (Charles) Oh, hello, hello.
- (Reggie) Charles!
336
00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:14,300
Excuse me, Fran ― man talk.
337
00:18:14,340 --> 00:18:16,170
Oh, and get us some coffee.
338
00:18:16,390 --> 00:18:17,770
(Fran)
Yes, master.
339
00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,680
(Reggie)
Come in and tell me how happy I've made you!
340
00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:22,680
(Charles) Ah, yes, well, as a matter
of fact, there are one or two things...
341
00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:24,050
(Reggie)
Scotch?
342
00:18:24,090 --> 00:18:25,800
(Charles)
Oh, thank you very much.
343
00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:26,760
(Reggie)
Soda?
344
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,720
(Charles)
Er, no, I think I'll have it neat, if I may.
345
00:18:28,800 --> 00:18:30,430
Well, have a little
more scotch, then.
346
00:18:30,470 --> 00:18:31,720
(Charles)
Thank you.
347
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,430
- (Reggie) There you are.
- (Charles) How kind of you...
348
00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:37,140
Well, here's to your next
best-seller: my book!
349
00:18:37,220 --> 00:18:39,050
Yes, of course ― here's to it.
350
00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:42,010
(Reggie)
Mm-hm. Delicious.
351
00:18:42,090 --> 00:18:43,380
Now, let's get down to business.
352
00:18:43,470 --> 00:18:47,680
Ah, I'm glad you've mentioned the word 'business' ― after
all, you're quite right, publishing is a business... isn't it?
353
00:18:47,720 --> 00:18:49,010
(Reggie)
So is writing.
354
00:18:49,050 --> 00:18:50,720
- (Charles) Oh, yes...
- (Reggie) And, before you say anything else,
355
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:53,510
I've decided that I want
an increase in royalties.
356
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,390
Oh, you have, have you?
357
00:18:55,430 --> 00:18:58,260
It's about time, isn't it?
Well? What d'you think of it - eh?
358
00:18:59,390 --> 00:19:01,680
Now, these first chapters...
359
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,140
Fantastic, eh?
360
00:19:03,220 --> 00:19:06,550
Well, there is a difficulty - an odd one,
I admit - but a difficulty, nevertheless.
361
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,680
Now, this book of yours...
362
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:13,050
Amazing what you can
pick up in the desert.
363
00:19:13,090 --> 00:19:14,470
Yes, amazing.
364
00:19:14,510 --> 00:19:16,180
D'you know, I can hit a
vulture at fifty paces?
365
00:19:16,220 --> 00:19:17,640
(Charles)
Can you really?
366
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,800
(Charles)
I... think I'll come back another time.
367
00:19:19,890 --> 00:19:21,470
(Reggie)
Just a minute ― what's wrong?
368
00:19:21,550 --> 00:19:23,300
Wrong? Nothing.
369
00:19:23,470 --> 00:19:24,970
What were you saying about my book?
370
00:19:25,050 --> 00:19:27,630
Your book...? Oh, yes. Of
course, well it's very good, isn't it...?
371
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:28,850
(Reggie)
Mm-hm.
372
00:19:28,890 --> 00:19:30,930
That's exactly it, Reggie;
it's too good.
373
00:19:31,340 --> 00:19:32,380
Too good?
374
00:19:32,470 --> 00:19:33,890
(Charles)
Now, don't jump to conclusions.
375
00:19:33,970 --> 00:19:36,260
Remember Shelley? That's
an excellent example; Shelley.
376
00:19:36,340 --> 00:19:39,380
His poetry was exquisite,
yet in his day ― no sale.
377
00:19:39,970 --> 00:19:41,800
Is this a criticism?
378
00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:43,600
More of a compliment, I would say.
379
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:45,470
Now, Reggie, as a friend―
380
00:19:45,550 --> 00:19:47,680
Your dual role fascinates me.
381
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,300
First, you're the businessman,
and now, the friend.
382
00:19:50,470 --> 00:19:52,970
Well, in both capacities,
it's no good!
383
00:19:53,010 --> 00:19:54,140
Are you a nutcase?!
384
00:19:54,180 --> 00:19:55,720
Now, it isn't only my opinion.
385
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:57,720
Give me the name and
address of the other idiot.
386
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:58,930
(Charles)
Look here, my staff―
387
00:19:58,970 --> 00:20:00,720
Your staff?! Ha, ha!
388
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,430
A band of incompetent,
jealous drunks!!
389
00:20:02,510 --> 00:20:03,680
(Charles)
They're not drunks.
390
00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:05,260
Then what's wrong with it?!
391
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,800
Well, if you really want to
know, Reggie, it's pompous...
392
00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:08,930
Pomp-?!
393
00:20:08,970 --> 00:20:09,970
- (Charles) Egocentric...
- (Reggie) Egoce―?!
394
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:11,640
- (Charles) Lacking in humanity...
- (Reggie) Lacking in huu―?!
395
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,350
(Charles)
...and there's nothing to be gained by shouting!
396
00:20:13,390 --> 00:20:14,390
Eeeuh!!
397
00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:15,560
(Reggie)
Tell him!
398
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,010
Tell him what?
399
00:20:17,140 --> 00:20:18,810
(Reggie)
How humane I am.
400
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,050
Oh, he's very humane.
401
00:20:20,140 --> 00:20:21,430
All right, I'm convinced, Reggie.
402
00:20:21,470 --> 00:20:24,550
Now, you sit down and write the book
the public and myself expect from you.
403
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,520
(Reggie)
You dare to tell me what to write?!
404
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:30,390
El khil molawi moah saeed
adhuk ayeem ayeev abahoo!
405
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:31,810
Good Heavens. What's that?
406
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,300
Something the camel
drivers always say.
407
00:20:33,340 --> 00:20:34,590
- Do they really?
- Always.
408
00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:36,100
How clever. What's it mean?
409
00:20:36,140 --> 00:20:40,270
I'll tell you what it means: it means that the
dog does not teach his master how to bark!
410
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,130
(Charles)
Now, then, don't go too far.
411
00:20:42,180 --> 00:20:44,260
Too far? I haven't gone far
enough! How dare you!!
412
00:20:44,340 --> 00:20:45,590
- Sugar?
- Two.
413
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,930
And the same for me, please.
Did you say 'How dare I?'
414
00:20:48,970 --> 00:20:50,050
You heard!
415
00:20:50,090 --> 00:20:52,510
(Fran)
Reggie. Charles may be right.
416
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,600
What do you know about writing?
417
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:59,220
It's strains your mentality to its limits to read the
instructions on a packet of instant rhubarb!
418
00:20:59,340 --> 00:21:00,420
(Fran)
Thank you.
419
00:21:00,510 --> 00:21:02,220
(Charles)
Now then, stop picking on Fran.
420
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:04,890
I never speak to my wife with anything
other than kindness ― do I?!
421
00:21:04,970 --> 00:21:06,100
Obviously.
422
00:21:06,180 --> 00:21:07,510
(Charles) Well, I tell you,
I won't publish the book.
423
00:21:07,550 --> 00:21:09,840
But if or when you decide
to honour your contract―
424
00:21:09,890 --> 00:21:12,680
This is my decision: get out!!
425
00:21:12,930 --> 00:21:14,430
It's my pleasure.
426
00:21:17,340 --> 00:21:18,880
(Reggie)
And don't come back.
427
00:21:18,970 --> 00:21:20,760
Reggie, let's try and
treat this sanely.
428
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,050
I have spoken.
429
00:21:22,090 --> 00:21:23,510
Kilbeh sheikh harram
430
00:21:23,590 --> 00:21:25,380
Oh, no, please, I implore
you not to start that again.
431
00:21:25,470 --> 00:21:28,720
You seem to have the horrible misconception
that you're the only publisher in London.
432
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:32,720
Not at all ― just the only ones unfortunate enough
to have you under exclusive contract.
433
00:21:32,760 --> 00:21:34,260
Goodbye.
434
00:21:34,800 --> 00:21:37,800
If that illiterate tries to come back,
slam the door in his face!
435
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,300
(DOORBELL RINGS)
436
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:42,890
Excuse me.
437
00:21:43,590 --> 00:21:44,800
Thank you.
438
00:21:46,220 --> 00:21:47,720
The next time.
439
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,260
And what makes you think
there'll be a next time?
440
00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:51,380
He needs me.
441
00:21:51,430 --> 00:21:53,010
You're not the only author he's got.
442
00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:55,340
I'm the only one that
sells 200,000 copies.
443
00:21:55,390 --> 00:21:57,430
You're also the only one
who autographs them all.
444
00:21:57,470 --> 00:21:58,550
Hm?
445
00:21:59,550 --> 00:22:01,680
Reggie, maybe if
you read it again...
446
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:03,130
Read it? I wrote it!
447
00:22:03,340 --> 00:22:05,130
It's humanly possible
you may be wrong.
448
00:22:05,260 --> 00:22:06,510
Never!
449
00:22:06,550 --> 00:22:08,220
What does it feel like to be perfect?
450
00:22:08,340 --> 00:22:09,590
Fine.
451
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,350
All right. So Charles doesn't publish
your book. What do we live on?
452
00:22:12,390 --> 00:22:14,020
(Reggie) Well, we've got some
money in the bank, haven't we?
453
00:22:14,090 --> 00:22:17,130
We had. How d'you think I kept this house
going while you were away, bottle-tops?
454
00:22:17,680 --> 00:22:19,600
That settles it ― we
go back to the desert.
455
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:21,050
The desert?!
456
00:22:21,180 --> 00:22:24,310
Yes. You can live in the desert for about
three years on twenty-five pounds
457
00:22:24,340 --> 00:22:25,590
we've got that much, I suppose?
458
00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,180
Well, what'll we do there?
459
00:22:27,300 --> 00:22:28,970
Like everybody else: nothing.
460
00:22:29,010 --> 00:22:30,800
You have gone insane.
461
00:22:30,890 --> 00:22:33,390
No. I have regained my sanity.
462
00:22:33,890 --> 00:22:36,100
You would bring our
son up in the desert?
463
00:22:36,180 --> 00:22:37,600
Make a man of him.
464
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,520
The desert makes men out of women.
465
00:22:39,590 --> 00:22:41,380
Certainly made a
man out of Simone...
466
00:22:41,930 --> 00:22:43,140
Simone who?
467
00:22:43,180 --> 00:22:44,260
I told you about her.
468
00:22:44,300 --> 00:22:45,380
Never.
469
00:22:45,430 --> 00:22:47,310
Oh, she was the photographer
with the search party.
470
00:22:47,470 --> 00:22:50,100
D'you know, after a week
she could kill a goat with her fist.
471
00:22:50,180 --> 00:22:51,560
Oh, she could, could she?
472
00:22:51,590 --> 00:22:53,090
Well, maybe I can't kill a
goat with my fist, but-
473
00:22:53,140 --> 00:22:55,520
I have spoken. You are my wife.
You'll do as I order.
474
00:22:55,590 --> 00:22:57,880
Order? Reggie Blake, you're a-
475
00:22:58,550 --> 00:23:00,180
Reggie, darling...
476
00:23:00,340 --> 00:23:02,010
can't you see what's
happening to you?
477
00:23:02,090 --> 00:23:05,970
You've had this wonderful, uplifting experience,
but you mustn't lose your sense of humour!
478
00:23:06,090 --> 00:23:08,760
Keffar um kinoh leh dohdat.
479
00:23:10,590 --> 00:23:12,010
I won't even ask what that means.
480
00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,050
It means, 'A worm is not
expected to understand a lion'.
481
00:23:16,340 --> 00:23:17,470
(Fran)
'The worm'?
482
00:23:17,510 --> 00:23:18,890
Nothing personal, of course...
483
00:23:18,970 --> 00:23:20,930
(Fran)
Well, who else is in the room?
484
00:23:22,180 --> 00:23:23,850
Fran, let me try to explain...
485
00:23:26,300 --> 00:23:29,630
Look, I have had a profound
emotional experience.
486
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:32,890
It's changed me, and enabled
me to write a great book.
487
00:23:32,930 --> 00:23:34,430
I shall be immortal!
488
00:23:34,470 --> 00:23:36,600
You'll be immortal, all
right. An immortal bore!
489
00:23:36,930 --> 00:23:41,680
Oh, it's no good trying to explain. What do you know about me?
What do you know about the real me, the inner me?
490
00:23:41,930 --> 00:23:44,560
What do I-? I know you
forwards and backwards.
491
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:46,840
If anyone should write a
book about you, it's me!
492
00:23:46,930 --> 00:23:49,100
You write a book? Ha, ha!
493
00:23:49,180 --> 00:23:50,760
Ooh, the book I could
write about you!
494
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:54,050
'The Real Reggie Blake'... the Reggie
Blake that lives in central-heated igloos
495
00:23:54,090 --> 00:23:55,590
and fights rubber sharks!
496
00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,140
- You wouldn't dare.
- Wouldn't I?
497
00:23:57,430 --> 00:23:59,510
Well, why, why should I worry?
498
00:24:00,010 --> 00:24:02,050
You'd have to look up
'cat' in the dictionary.
499
00:24:02,180 --> 00:24:03,680
Reggie, I'm warning you...
500
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,640
Ha, ha, ha, ha! You write
a book! Ha, ha, hah!
501
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:07,140
That does it.
502
00:24:07,390 --> 00:24:09,310
Kibbledepibbledebibbledeboo!
503
00:24:09,340 --> 00:24:10,420
I beg your pardon?
504
00:24:10,470 --> 00:24:12,300
That's camel driver
for you asked for it'.
505
00:24:12,340 --> 00:24:14,630
I'm going to write the
book on Reggie Blake.
506
00:24:15,260 --> 00:24:19,760
And I've got a title, too:
'I Was Conquered by a Middle-Aged Monster'!
507
00:24:19,890 --> 00:24:23,100
(Reggie) It's too long for a title.
Cut out the Middle-Aged'.
508
00:24:25,930 --> 00:24:27,430
(MIDDLE-EASTERN MUSIC)
509
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,920
(MUMBLING)
Three hundred and ten...
510
00:24:33,140 --> 00:24:35,100
three hundred and eleven...
511
00:24:36,550 --> 00:24:38,590
three hundred and twelve...
512
00:24:40,050 --> 00:24:42,180
three hundred and thirteen...
513
00:24:44,140 --> 00:24:46,600
three hundred and fourteen...
514
00:24:48,430 --> 00:24:50,560
three hundred and fifteen...
515
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,920
(CLOCK TICKING)
516
00:25:12,890 --> 00:25:14,390
Fran?
517
00:25:14,970 --> 00:25:16,260
Fran?
518
00:25:16,550 --> 00:25:18,840
Fran?
Oww! Ooh...!
519
00:25:20,890 --> 00:25:22,560
Oowwah! Ach! Oohee!
520
00:25:33,970 --> 00:25:36,470
Oh! You frightened me.
521
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:38,180
(Fran)
Hungry?
522
00:25:38,220 --> 00:25:41,510
Hm? Er- no, I thought I
heard someone in the fridge.
523
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:44,420
What're you doing?
524
00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,090
Writing.
525
00:25:46,140 --> 00:25:48,060
(Reggie)
Well, I can see that. What're you writing?
526
00:25:48,090 --> 00:25:49,510
Your biography.
527
00:25:49,550 --> 00:25:50,720
Whaat?
528
00:25:50,760 --> 00:25:51,800
(Fran)
I said I would.
529
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,720
Now, look, look, look, look.
A woman's place is in the kitchen.
530
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,510
I am in the kitchen.
531
00:25:56,550 --> 00:25:58,130
Cooking, not writing.
532
00:25:58,180 --> 00:26:00,220
You don't cook at three
o'clock in the morning.
533
00:26:00,260 --> 00:26:01,930
Well, you don't write at
three o'clock in the morning.
534
00:26:01,970 --> 00:26:03,260
I do.
535
00:26:03,300 --> 00:26:06,130
Look, I don't mind your writing.
You can paint on the ceiling if you like.
536
00:26:06,180 --> 00:26:07,260
Thank you.
537
00:26:07,300 --> 00:26:08,680
But if it disrupts the house―
538
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:12,600
'Disrupts the house'? The trouble with you is, you're
afraid people are going to see you as you really are.
539
00:26:13,010 --> 00:26:15,180
Nonsense. Look, even
if you finished it
540
00:26:15,220 --> 00:26:16,970
which is very unlikely ― who'd publish it?
541
00:26:17,300 --> 00:26:18,800
Charles Lunton and Co.
542
00:26:18,840 --> 00:26:20,010
Whaat?!
543
00:26:20,050 --> 00:26:22,550
Charles has agreed, and I'm
having lunch with him tomorrow.
544
00:26:23,390 --> 00:26:25,680
You're making a
damn fool of yourself.
545
00:26:26,470 --> 00:26:28,180
Goodnight, darling.
546
00:27:13,470 --> 00:27:15,140
Blasted... oh.
547
00:27:26,390 --> 00:27:27,770
(Phoebe)
Ooo-ooh!
548
00:27:42,140 --> 00:27:44,350
Oh- Oh!
Ooh...
549
00:27:45,510 --> 00:27:47,470
Who are you?
550
00:27:47,510 --> 00:27:48,890
Phoebe.
551
00:27:48,970 --> 00:27:50,800
- Phoebe?
- I work here twice a week.
552
00:27:51,220 --> 00:27:53,640
Well, I suppose Mrs Blake engaged
you while I was away, eh?
553
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:54,970
Yes.
554
00:27:55,050 --> 00:27:56,590
Yes. She does peculiar things like that.
555
00:27:56,640 --> 00:27:57,770
Oh, does she?
556
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,340
Now look - Phoebe - I am Mr Blake,
557
00:28:00,390 --> 00:28:03,270
and when I'm here I don't want any
noise - no vacuum cleaners, nothing.
558
00:28:03,300 --> 00:28:05,130
How do you expect me
to clean the carpet?
559
00:28:05,180 --> 00:28:07,260
Go down on me hands
and knees and inhale?
560
00:28:07,930 --> 00:28:10,260
As long as you remember to
go outside when you sneeze.
561
00:28:10,510 --> 00:28:12,140
Oh, ha, ha, ha...
very funny man...
562
00:28:12,180 --> 00:28:14,060
Huh. Well, if you'll excuse me.
563
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:22,720
(Phoebe)
Oh, so it's to be a fight, is it?
564
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:23,800
(DOORBELL RINGS)
565
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:25,260
Answer the door.
566
00:28:25,300 --> 00:28:27,050
Not on your life.
567
00:28:27,090 --> 00:28:28,130
(Reggie)
Why not?
568
00:28:28,180 --> 00:28:29,350
I've turned in my job.
569
00:28:29,390 --> 00:28:30,520
When?
570
00:28:30,550 --> 00:28:32,130
(Phoebe)
The moment I saw you.
571
00:28:32,180 --> 00:28:34,140
I wouldn't've come 'ere at all,
but I thought you was dead.
572
00:28:34,470 --> 00:28:36,260
I know your reputation.
573
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:39,100
When Mrs Blake comes
back, tell 'er I've quit.
574
00:28:39,140 --> 00:28:40,890
(DOORBELL RINGS)
575
00:28:40,970 --> 00:28:42,760
(Reggie)
For the last time: open that door!
576
00:28:43,220 --> 00:28:44,850
(Reggie)
Hah! You've opened the door!
577
00:28:44,890 --> 00:28:46,680
(Phoebe)
And I'm shutting it.
578
00:28:49,390 --> 00:28:50,600
(Reggie)
Well?
579
00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,100
Good morning.
580
00:28:52,140 --> 00:28:54,100
(Man)
I alvays say, vhy vaste time'?
581
00:28:54,140 --> 00:28:56,810
(Man) Nobody could improve
on my offer. So vhy bargain?!
582
00:28:57,050 --> 00:28:58,590
(Reggie)
I beg your pardon, have we met?
583
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,180
My name is Felix McGregor.
My friends call me 'Sandy'.
584
00:29:02,220 --> 00:29:03,220
(Bill)
Daddy...
585
00:29:03,260 --> 00:29:05,640
A baby! You know,
I love babies!
586
00:29:05,680 --> 00:29:07,760
Hello, leetle baby!
587
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:10,760
Mmm, mwah!
Sveet as an apple!
588
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,090
Would you mind putting my son
down and telling me what you want?
589
00:29:13,180 --> 00:29:17,060
Baby - go and play. Enjoy
yourself vhile you are young, hey?
590
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:19,380
Babies taste deleecious, no?
591
00:29:19,470 --> 00:29:21,050
I don't know. I've
never eaten one.
592
00:29:21,140 --> 00:29:22,390
Who are you?
593
00:29:22,430 --> 00:29:25,350
I just told you - I'm Felix McGregor.
You can call me Sandy'.
594
00:29:25,390 --> 00:29:27,520
I'm a film producer,
like Brewster.
595
00:29:27,590 --> 00:29:29,220
Who's Brewster?
596
00:29:29,260 --> 00:29:32,010
One of my closest
friends; I hate him!
597
00:29:32,090 --> 00:29:33,510
Oh. Well, what do you want?
598
00:29:33,550 --> 00:29:36,470
Vhy should I beat around the bush?
Vhat does it gain a man?
599
00:29:36,550 --> 00:29:38,260
It's all over town!
600
00:29:38,340 --> 00:29:40,260
Lunton doesn't like your book.
601
00:29:40,300 --> 00:29:41,880
All over town...?
602
00:29:41,930 --> 00:29:44,060
Yes. I've read some
of your books, Mr Blake.
603
00:29:44,140 --> 00:29:45,430
Oh! Do you like them?
604
00:29:45,550 --> 00:29:48,880
Who cares vhat I like?
Vhat the public likes, I like!
605
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:52,100
This one I'll buy ― unread; unseen.
606
00:29:52,550 --> 00:29:54,590
(Felix)
Tventy tousand pounds ― blind!
607
00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:56,260
Mr McGregor, I'm busy.
608
00:29:56,300 --> 00:29:58,180
(Felix)
So am I, Mr Blake, so am I.
609
00:29:58,220 --> 00:30:01,720
I am producing a picture right now
that will make Ben Hur look like a trailer.
610
00:30:02,220 --> 00:30:04,550
I'll tell you vhat: theenk about it.
611
00:30:05,010 --> 00:30:07,840
Tventy-thousand... cash!
612
00:30:09,140 --> 00:30:10,390
(Felix)
Ta-ta, baby.
613
00:30:10,430 --> 00:30:12,600
(Felix)
I love babies, I can't...
614
00:30:13,180 --> 00:30:16,760
And, er, give my best to your vife.
Tell her I'm dying to read her book, too.
615
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,880
Here, just a minute. How do you
know my wife's writing a book?
616
00:30:20,430 --> 00:30:22,560
This morning's paper.
Second page.
617
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:24,340
Ta-ta, Blake!
618
00:30:24,470 --> 00:30:27,640
And don't forget ― tventy
thousand, on top of the table,
619
00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:31,010
under the table, in Svitzerland...
anyvhere you vant it.
620
00:30:32,260 --> 00:30:33,720
Even legally.
621
00:30:34,220 --> 00:30:35,680
(Felix)
Ta-ta!
622
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,340
'Charles Lunton gave me the
news last night that Fran Blake,
623
00:30:39,430 --> 00:30:43,310
wife of intrepid explorer Reginald Blake, is writing
a scorcher of a book about her husband...
624
00:30:43,430 --> 00:30:45,390
which he will put
on his spring list!
625
00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:50,060
We are going out.
626
00:30:59,470 --> 00:31:01,140
(Attendant)
Sir? Your ticket.
627
00:31:01,510 --> 00:31:02,930
(Reggie)
Ticket?
628
00:31:08,430 --> 00:31:10,060
(Reggie)
Where's Mr Lunton?
629
00:31:10,180 --> 00:31:11,760
He's over there, sir.
630
00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:12,920
(Reggie)
Thank you.
631
00:31:13,300 --> 00:31:15,800
Uh-uh... just a little joke.
632
00:31:17,220 --> 00:31:19,140
(Charles)
I'll help you all I can, my dear.
633
00:31:19,180 --> 00:31:21,350
(Fran)
Charles, I don't know what I'd do without you.
634
00:31:21,390 --> 00:31:24,720
Well, dear, anything you write would be better
than that nonsense Reggie's been turning out.
635
00:31:25,140 --> 00:31:27,180
Oh, I've never seen
anything like it in my life!
636
00:31:27,260 --> 00:31:29,140
Black or white... you swine?
637
00:31:29,180 --> 00:31:30,600
(Fran)
Reggie!
638
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:32,760
(Charles) Good Heavens! You
might've scalded me! What're you doing?
639
00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:35,720
I do beg your pardon. I merely
wanted to hit you with the pot!
640
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,050
(Fran)
Reggie! Get out of here!
641
00:31:38,090 --> 00:31:39,840
So this is what you
do while I'm away, eh?
642
00:31:39,890 --> 00:31:42,390
(Charles) Well, we... we were
merely discussing Fran's book.
643
00:31:42,430 --> 00:31:44,810
You don't hold my hand
when we discuss my books.
644
00:31:44,840 --> 00:31:46,220
(Fran)
Stop making a scene!
645
00:31:46,260 --> 00:31:48,050
(Waiter)
Is there anything I can do, sir?
646
00:31:48,090 --> 00:31:49,630
Had you anything in mind?!
647
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:50,970
- Yes. More coffee.
- Yes!
648
00:31:51,010 --> 00:31:52,340
(Charles)
Oh, no, no, no, no more coffee.
649
00:31:52,390 --> 00:31:53,720
(Fran)
Charles was sympathising with me
650
00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:55,930
and, believe me, I need
sympathy being married to you!
651
00:31:55,970 --> 00:31:58,140
I should say she does.
Control yourself, Reggie.
652
00:31:58,220 --> 00:32:01,890
Remember what Shelley said?
'The eyes see what they bring to the seeing.'
653
00:32:02,430 --> 00:32:05,510
It's funny that every time you stab
me in the back you quote Shelley.
654
00:32:05,550 --> 00:32:07,510
You said you were going back
to the desert. Why don't you go!
655
00:32:07,590 --> 00:32:12,260
I'm going! But first of all, I should
like to perform an old Arab ritual.
656
00:32:12,300 --> 00:32:13,840
(Charles)
What are you talking about?
657
00:32:13,930 --> 00:32:15,430
(Charles) Oh, ho, ho, ho, he wouldn't dare!
(SOUND OF PUNCH)
658
00:32:15,470 --> 00:32:16,760
(SCREAMING)
659
00:32:17,340 --> 00:32:19,260
I've never been so
humiliated in my life!
660
00:32:20,300 --> 00:32:22,050
You cleverly forget my humiliation.
661
00:32:22,090 --> 00:32:24,630
What humiliation? I didn't
make a spectacle of myself.
662
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:26,600
(Reggie)
Then exactly what were you doing?
663
00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:28,600
(Fran) Charles Lunton is
old enough to be my father.
664
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,140
(Reggie)
Well, so am I. That didn't stop me.
665
00:32:31,180 --> 00:32:32,680
(Fran)
I wish it'd stopped me.
666
00:32:33,300 --> 00:32:35,220
You were holding Lunton's hand!
667
00:32:35,260 --> 00:32:36,890
Oooh, why do you keep
going on about that?
668
00:32:37,340 --> 00:32:39,010
Because you keep on doing it.
669
00:32:39,220 --> 00:32:41,550
You're jealous - of Charles!
670
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:45,970
What, me? Jealous? Why should I be
jealous of a cowardly, old, ineffect-
671
00:32:46,050 --> 00:32:47,380
you'll never see him again!
672
00:32:47,470 --> 00:32:48,470
Charles is our friend!
673
00:32:48,550 --> 00:32:49,760
(Reggie)
He was!
674
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:51,260
Oooh, you're impossible!
675
00:32:51,340 --> 00:32:53,720
(Reggie) Impossible?! I think
I'm eminently fair and reasonable
676
00:32:53,970 --> 00:32:55,600
(Reggie) except when it
concerns my wife being pawed.
677
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:58,510
(Fran) 'Pawed'?! Charles Lunton's
never pawed a woman in his life.
678
00:32:58,590 --> 00:33:01,220
(Fran) He has a mental block.
He's never even kissed a woman.
679
00:33:01,260 --> 00:33:03,470
(Reggie)
I saw you being fondled!
680
00:33:03,550 --> 00:33:05,180
(Fran)
You've got a dirty mind!
681
00:33:05,220 --> 00:33:06,260
(Reggie)
So's that old bachelor.
682
00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:07,720
- (Fran) He does not.
- (Reggie) He's a man.
683
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:10,720
(Fran) Not all men think like you.
Charles is refreshingly different.
684
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:12,630
All right; he can have you.
685
00:33:12,970 --> 00:33:14,470
Reggie, you are the most―
686
00:33:14,510 --> 00:33:18,680
I will not stand in your way. I'm not
going to hang on to an old bone.
687
00:33:19,470 --> 00:33:21,180
(Fran)
Who's an old bone'?
688
00:33:21,430 --> 00:33:23,600
(Reggie)
I promise you, I will look after our son.
689
00:33:23,890 --> 00:33:26,560
You'll look after him?
He goes with me.
690
00:33:26,890 --> 00:33:28,270
(Bill)
Mummy!
691
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:31,100
(Fran)
Phoebe!
692
00:33:31,140 --> 00:33:32,430
(Reggie)
She isn't here.
693
00:33:33,890 --> 00:33:35,430
What do you mean? Why?
694
00:33:35,640 --> 00:33:37,100
I gave her the bullet.
695
00:33:37,140 --> 00:33:38,930
You didn't...
696
00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:43,720
This is the end. Thanks to you, we're now
blacklisted in every agency in the country.
697
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,220
Now I do leave.
698
00:33:45,300 --> 00:33:48,800
Just a minute. Where will you be?
So I know where to send your bills.
699
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:50,170
(LOUD CRASH)
700
00:33:50,340 --> 00:33:51,800
(Bill)
Waah!
701
00:33:52,470 --> 00:33:53,800
(LOUD CRYING)
702
00:33:54,390 --> 00:33:55,970
Oh, my baby!
703
00:33:56,050 --> 00:33:58,090
Come on. Come on, now.
Up we come.
704
00:33:58,140 --> 00:33:59,810
Come to Mummy.
705
00:34:00,050 --> 00:34:01,970
Quiet, dear.
We're all right now.
706
00:34:02,470 --> 00:34:04,470
He's only frightened,
he's not really hurt.
707
00:34:04,550 --> 00:34:05,630
Come on...
708
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:09,640
Well, as I was about to say, I refuse to allow my son to
be brought up without the shining example of his father.
709
00:34:09,890 --> 00:34:13,640
And d'you think I'd allow him to be
brought up without the love and care
710
00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:15,680
and protection of his mother?
711
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:16,970
(Fran)
Ssh...
712
00:34:17,050 --> 00:34:19,130
Well... we can't divide him in half.
713
00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:23,050
No. But I know
what we can divide...
714
00:34:23,090 --> 00:34:24,340
(Reggie)
What?
715
00:34:24,390 --> 00:34:25,850
(Fran)
And we're going to. The house.
716
00:34:25,890 --> 00:34:28,350
(Fran) You can live in your
half, and I'll live in my half.
717
00:34:28,430 --> 00:34:31,850
We'll each look after our half of the
house, and our half of the baby.
718
00:34:32,260 --> 00:34:33,890
(Reggie)
That's a splendid idea.
719
00:34:34,050 --> 00:34:37,470
And what each does in his own
half is his own business. Agreed?
720
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:39,220
Agreed!
721
00:34:39,300 --> 00:34:40,380
Agreed.
722
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,260
(Reggie)
Right.
723
00:34:51,390 --> 00:34:53,390
Ah! The study's mine.
724
00:34:55,390 --> 00:34:57,140
The large bathroom.
725
00:34:57,260 --> 00:34:59,430
Hah!
Large bathroom...
726
00:35:01,760 --> 00:35:03,550
The kitchen.
727
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:05,670
(MUTTERING)
Well, I'll find some use for it...
728
00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:08,930
Our bedroom.
729
00:35:09,260 --> 00:35:10,390
Damn.
730
00:35:10,430 --> 00:35:12,430
The living room. Hm.
731
00:35:16,090 --> 00:35:17,970
The small bathroom.
732
00:35:18,010 --> 00:35:19,510
(MUTTERING)
Small bathroom...!
733
00:35:22,340 --> 00:35:26,170
Just a minute... I hope you're going to have the decency
to allow me the use of one of your bathrooms?
734
00:35:26,720 --> 00:35:27,850
Why?
735
00:35:28,050 --> 00:35:31,470
'Why'...? Well, we've only
got two, and I'm only human.
736
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:33,720
Oh, really? I thought
you were immortal.
737
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,180
Fran...
738
00:35:35,340 --> 00:35:37,970
Well, there are always those
public things at the Tube station.
739
00:35:38,010 --> 00:35:40,430
The Tube station?! That-
that's a quarter of a mile away!
740
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:41,850
Run.
741
00:35:42,260 --> 00:35:43,390
Fran!
742
00:35:44,590 --> 00:35:48,880
All right. I'll trade you
the small bathroom...
743
00:35:50,220 --> 00:35:51,930
for the study.
744
00:35:51,970 --> 00:35:54,760
The study?! Where
will I do my writing?
745
00:35:55,260 --> 00:35:57,840
Where I do mine
now - the kitchen.
746
00:35:58,050 --> 00:36:00,430
In the kitchen? I couldn't.
It would be too humiliating!
747
00:36:00,760 --> 00:36:02,090
It's your choice.
748
00:36:03,220 --> 00:36:05,220
You think it's very
funny, don't you?
749
00:36:05,390 --> 00:36:07,100
No. But I can wait.
750
00:36:09,220 --> 00:36:10,970
All right. Study's yours.
751
00:36:19,010 --> 00:36:20,800
(FOOD BUBBLING)
752
00:36:21,180 --> 00:36:23,220
(Reggie)
Baby... where's the baby?
753
00:36:24,300 --> 00:36:26,680
(Reggie)
Ba-argh! Ooh...
754
00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,300
Oh!
Ooh...
755
00:36:38,470 --> 00:36:40,260
(KETTLE WHISTLING)
756
00:36:40,390 --> 00:36:41,600
(Reggie)
Tea...
757
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:56,020
Tea...
758
00:36:57,220 --> 00:37:00,350
where's the― ah, yes, fridge.
759
00:37:02,090 --> 00:37:03,590
Where's the tea?!
760
00:37:03,640 --> 00:37:05,270
Where- ah!
761
00:37:11,050 --> 00:37:12,680
(Reggie)
One for the pot...
762
00:37:18,930 --> 00:37:20,350
(Reggie)
Oh, no.
763
00:37:21,890 --> 00:37:23,220
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
764
00:37:25,220 --> 00:37:26,890
Hang on, shan't be a minute!
765
00:37:27,090 --> 00:37:28,760
(MAN TALKING OVER TELEPHONE)
766
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:30,130
(Reggie)
Oh, no!
767
00:37:39,140 --> 00:37:40,270
Oh!
768
00:37:41,300 --> 00:37:42,470
Bread...
769
00:37:44,010 --> 00:37:45,550
Where's the knife?
770
00:37:45,590 --> 00:37:47,170
Oh ― scissors!
771
00:37:47,390 --> 00:37:48,810
(CALLER CONTINUES TALKING)
772
00:37:53,180 --> 00:37:54,640
Shaddap!
773
00:37:55,430 --> 00:37:57,010
(CUCKOOING)
774
00:37:58,050 --> 00:37:59,720
(Caller)
Hello? Hello?
775
00:38:00,430 --> 00:38:02,220
(Caller) Hello? Hello?
Hello, are you there?!
776
00:38:03,590 --> 00:38:04,970
(Caller)
Hello, are you there?!
777
00:38:05,010 --> 00:38:06,970
(Caller)
Hello? Hello?
778
00:38:07,470 --> 00:38:09,100
(Caller)
You're there, I can hear you stirring!
779
00:38:09,180 --> 00:38:10,720
(Caller)
Hello? Hello!
780
00:38:11,220 --> 00:38:13,010
(SOUND OF TYPING)
781
00:38:22,720 --> 00:38:24,850
(Bill)
I want Mummy! I want Mummy!
782
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,470
For the moment, I am your Mummy.
783
00:38:27,550 --> 00:38:29,630
I want Mummy! I want Mummy! I want Mummy!
(DOORBELL)
784
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:31,390
Front door ― yours!
785
00:38:32,890 --> 00:38:34,060
(DOORBELL)
786
00:38:34,090 --> 00:38:35,420
(Bill)
I want Mummy!
787
00:38:37,470 --> 00:38:41,260
Ah, Phoebe! Did anyone ever
tell you how beautiful you are?
788
00:38:41,470 --> 00:38:45,300
My 'usband said it once...
then 'e borrowed ten bob off me.
789
00:38:45,340 --> 00:38:47,510
(Reggie)
Ha, ha! Come in, come in!
790
00:38:47,550 --> 00:38:49,800
Madam 'phoned and
apologised for you.
791
00:38:50,260 --> 00:38:52,300
Oh, yes, yes, yes
I made her do that.
792
00:38:52,510 --> 00:38:54,140
Ah, well ― you're here.
793
00:38:54,180 --> 00:38:56,760
Well, now, first of all I want you to feed
the baby and get him ready for nursery
794
00:38:56,840 --> 00:39:00,630
school... and then, er, do the laundry, and clean
the place up a bit, and then do the shopping.
795
00:39:01,260 --> 00:39:02,430
Where're you going?
796
00:39:02,470 --> 00:39:04,050
To do madam's bedroom.
797
00:39:04,220 --> 00:39:06,100
Oh, no, I want you to do
these things for me first.
798
00:39:06,140 --> 00:39:08,180
Well, don't hold your
breath till then.
799
00:39:08,220 --> 00:39:10,470
What's the matter? It's
just a few simple jobs.
800
00:39:10,510 --> 00:39:14,680
Look, I only came because madam promised
I wouldn't have to lift a finger for you.
801
00:39:14,970 --> 00:39:17,300
But, please! I'm sorry!
802
00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:19,260
I apologise!
803
00:39:19,930 --> 00:39:21,510
I'll pay you double!
804
00:39:21,550 --> 00:39:22,630
I―
(DOOR SHUTS)
805
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:23,970
You're fired!!
806
00:39:24,050 --> 00:39:27,010
But, Phoebe,
please... have pity.
807
00:39:27,550 --> 00:39:29,300
(Fran)
Don't boil the baby's egg too hard.
808
00:39:29,550 --> 00:39:31,590
He's got teeth. He
can bite an egg.
809
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:33,720
(Fran)
And don't forget his porridge.
810
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:36,260
Oh, God...
811
00:39:36,340 --> 00:39:38,220
(Reggie) All right...
Here we are.
812
00:39:38,470 --> 00:39:40,140
(Caller)
Hello. Hello.
813
00:39:40,180 --> 00:39:41,810
(Caller)
Hello! Hello!
814
00:39:43,050 --> 00:39:44,510
(Reggie)
Hello!
815
00:39:44,590 --> 00:39:45,550
(LINE GOES DEAD)
816
00:39:45,680 --> 00:39:47,970
Hung up. How about that!
817
00:39:49,390 --> 00:39:50,720
There we are.
818
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:54,350
Here's you egg.
819
00:39:54,510 --> 00:39:56,970
There isn't going to be any
trouble, is there, son?
820
00:40:03,640 --> 00:40:05,180
(HE WHINNIES)
821
00:40:20,340 --> 00:40:22,090
(CHILDREN SHOUTING)
822
00:40:23,050 --> 00:40:24,260
(HORN HOOTING)
823
00:40:29,090 --> 00:40:30,720
(Reggie)
All right, all right!
824
00:40:36,090 --> 00:40:37,170
(Reggie)
His coat.
825
00:40:37,220 --> 00:40:38,390
(Driver)
Expectin' rain?
826
00:40:38,470 --> 00:40:39,760
(Reggie)
Very funny.
827
00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:03,550
(Fran)
Tell me, Harold...
828
00:41:03,890 --> 00:41:06,850
(Fran) what is it about women
that attracts you most?
829
00:41:09,220 --> 00:41:11,800
(Fran) I mean, what makes you
take a second look at a woman?
830
00:41:12,140 --> 00:41:14,600
(Fran)
Is it her figure, her colouring, or her...
831
00:41:15,890 --> 00:41:16,930
(Reggie)
Oh...
832
00:41:17,470 --> 00:41:19,180
Well, with my husband, it's eyes...
833
00:41:19,930 --> 00:41:21,970
Oh! Yeah, well, er...
834
00:41:22,010 --> 00:41:23,680
in my case, it's legs.
835
00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:25,930
(Harold)
Good-lookin' legs.
836
00:41:26,890 --> 00:41:28,930
(Harold) You've got very
nice-lookin' legs, Mrs Blake.
837
00:41:29,430 --> 00:41:32,060
Oh, thank you, Harold, it's
very sweet of you to say so!
838
00:41:32,090 --> 00:41:33,420
(Reggie)
Well!
839
00:41:34,140 --> 00:41:36,640
(Fran) I believe you've met
Harold, our window cleaner?
840
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:38,760
Window cleaner?!
Have you no shame?!
841
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:40,300
What're you talking about?
842
00:41:40,340 --> 00:41:42,590
More to the point, what're
you talking about?
843
00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:44,340
Legs.
844
00:41:44,550 --> 00:41:46,880
Especially my wife's
― eh, Harold?
845
00:41:49,180 --> 00:41:51,930
Oh, oh, er... Mrs Blake...
er- doesn't he know?
846
00:41:52,090 --> 00:41:54,420
(Reggie)
The husband is always the last to know.
847
00:41:54,510 --> 00:41:56,050
(Fran)
Harold and I were merely discussing―
848
00:41:56,090 --> 00:41:57,670
Your legs!
849
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,260
Oh, lawd... now, look, Mr Blake...
850
00:42:01,140 --> 00:42:02,970
Mrs Blake, tell him, please!
851
00:42:03,180 --> 00:42:04,970
Wouldn't you rather, Harold?
852
00:42:05,010 --> 00:42:07,640
I have an idea you won't be able
to speak for the next few days.
853
00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:09,680
Harold was giving me
material for my book.
854
00:42:09,720 --> 00:42:12,100
We were comparing his
married life and ours.
855
00:42:12,140 --> 00:42:13,560
We lost!
856
00:42:13,590 --> 00:42:16,470
Yeah ― that's, that's how it was,
Mr Blake; you see, I was givin'
857
00:42:16,510 --> 00:42:18,300
er some stuff for er book...
858
00:42:18,340 --> 00:42:19,970
(Reggie)
D'you think I didn't know that?
859
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:23,300
Well, I'll, erm...
860
00:42:23,470 --> 00:42:25,010
finish the windows
in the mornin'.
861
00:42:25,680 --> 00:42:27,100
Oh ― me ladders.
862
00:42:33,680 --> 00:42:35,390
(Harold)
Oh ― me bucket.
863
00:42:35,470 --> 00:42:36,640
(Reggie)
Oouh!
864
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:38,140
Oops. Sorry, sir...
865
00:42:40,180 --> 00:42:41,510
(Reggie)
Oouh!
866
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:43,260
(Reggie)
Harold...!
867
00:42:44,140 --> 00:42:46,600
(Reggie)
Harold. Your sponge.
868
00:42:50,590 --> 00:42:54,090
Thank you... thank you...
very much, Mr Blake.
869
00:42:55,680 --> 00:42:57,100
(Fran)
Reggie!
870
00:42:57,140 --> 00:42:59,060
(Fran)
Call him back and apologise at once!
871
00:42:59,140 --> 00:43:00,350
I'll do nothing of the sort.
872
00:43:00,590 --> 00:43:02,920
What's sauce for the goose
is sauce for the gander.
873
00:43:04,050 --> 00:43:06,510
And, for the record,
I'm the gander.
874
00:43:13,340 --> 00:43:14,590
Hello...
875
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:16,050
(Reggie)
Hell-o...!
876
00:43:16,590 --> 00:43:18,260
Don't you remember me?
877
00:43:18,760 --> 00:43:20,010
(Reggie)
Simone?
878
00:43:20,050 --> 00:43:21,760
You do remember.
879
00:43:22,300 --> 00:43:24,130
(Reggie)
How could I possibly forget?
880
00:43:24,550 --> 00:43:26,380
Are you going to invite me in?
881
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,470
(Reggie)
Uh...? Oh, I insist!
882
00:43:30,590 --> 00:43:32,340
(Reggie)
Oh! Sorry.
883
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:39,310
(Reggie)
Doesn't seem to reverse.
884
00:43:41,800 --> 00:43:43,130
(Reggie)
Do come in.
885
00:43:44,180 --> 00:43:45,560
(Reggie)
Oh, dear.
886
00:43:46,090 --> 00:43:47,630
(Reggie)
Never mind, I'll fix it.
887
00:43:52,220 --> 00:43:53,510
(Reggie)
Oh, dear.
888
00:43:53,930 --> 00:43:55,100
(Reggie)
Shan't be a minute...
889
00:43:55,970 --> 00:43:57,640
Lucky I forgot to buy the eggs!
890
00:44:04,720 --> 00:44:05,890
(Reggie)
Argh!
891
00:44:08,840 --> 00:44:10,380
Can I get you something?
892
00:44:11,010 --> 00:44:13,640
No, thanks. I just dropped
by for a minute.
893
00:44:14,220 --> 00:44:15,800
Surprised to see me?
894
00:44:15,930 --> 00:44:17,180
Delighted.
895
00:44:17,470 --> 00:44:19,550
You look different without the beard.
896
00:44:19,590 --> 00:44:21,260
I'd hardly have known you.
897
00:44:21,300 --> 00:44:22,970
Different-good, or different-bad?
898
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:26,100
Very good.
899
00:44:26,300 --> 00:44:27,680
And me?
900
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:30,050
You look... splendid.
901
00:44:30,090 --> 00:44:32,170
Hmm. May I sit down?
902
00:44:32,590 --> 00:44:34,220
(Reggie)
Make yourself at home.
903
00:44:34,430 --> 00:44:35,430
(Simone)
Thank you.
904
00:44:37,430 --> 00:44:40,220
Well... this brings back
memories, doesn't it?
905
00:44:40,260 --> 00:44:41,510
Thousands.
906
00:44:42,010 --> 00:44:45,390
Remember the night the Sheikh
invited me to join his harem?
907
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,920
Yes. I remember you said you couldn't
because you weren't a member of the union!
908
00:44:48,970 --> 00:44:50,390
Yes! Ha, ha, ha!
909
00:44:50,470 --> 00:44:52,050
(LAUGHTER)
910
00:44:55,090 --> 00:44:56,720
(Reggie)
Well, well, well, Simone...
911
00:44:56,760 --> 00:44:58,720
Tell me, how did your
pictures turn out?
912
00:44:59,220 --> 00:45:02,220
You must come over to my
flat and see for yourself.
913
00:45:02,260 --> 00:45:04,260
I absolutely must.
914
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:05,850
(Reggie)
Hm...?
915
00:45:06,430 --> 00:45:09,100
Oh...! How pretty!
916
00:45:10,470 --> 00:45:11,890
(Reggie)
D'you like flowers?
917
00:45:11,930 --> 00:45:15,560
All natural things fascinate me.
Do they fascinate you?
918
00:45:15,930 --> 00:45:18,220
They absolutely paralyse me.
919
00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:20,140
(Simone)
Mm.
920
00:45:20,180 --> 00:45:22,470
I believe you met
Felix McGregor?
921
00:45:23,340 --> 00:45:26,090
D'you mean the man who produces
films and eats babies?
922
00:45:26,430 --> 00:45:28,140
He's an old friend of mine.
923
00:45:28,300 --> 00:45:30,970
He tells me he wants
to do a desert picture.
924
00:45:31,010 --> 00:45:32,510
Aa-ah...
925
00:45:32,550 --> 00:45:34,630
so, your visit wasn't
without purpose, eh?
926
00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:37,220
I never do anything without purpose.
927
00:45:37,470 --> 00:45:39,180
Does that frighten you?
928
00:45:39,340 --> 00:45:41,050
Foolish girl.
929
00:45:41,090 --> 00:45:44,590
But I'd never sell rights to my books
until after they've been published.
930
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:45,970
Never...?
931
00:45:46,260 --> 00:45:47,760
(Reggie)
Well, a principle...
932
00:45:47,890 --> 00:45:49,430
...is a principle.
933
00:45:49,720 --> 00:45:51,390
That's exactly what
I was going to say.
934
00:45:51,720 --> 00:45:53,010
Good.
935
00:45:53,430 --> 00:45:57,260
(Reggie) Look, why do we have to talk business
when we have so many wonderful memories to share?
936
00:45:58,800 --> 00:46:01,180
(Simone) All right.
Let us share a few.
937
00:46:01,510 --> 00:46:05,090
D'you remember how we used to keep
warm during those cold desert nights?
938
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,100
I do, indeed.
939
00:46:07,930 --> 00:46:11,180
All we need now to complete
the picture is a cold wind...
940
00:46:14,300 --> 00:46:16,260
...and I think we've got one.
941
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:29,890
Excuse me. I should've knocked.
942
00:46:29,970 --> 00:46:32,100
(Reggie) Yes.
But we forgive you.
943
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:34,550
Ah, this is my wife, Fran.
944
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,100
(Simone)
How do you do.
945
00:46:36,140 --> 00:46:37,680
(Reggie)
And this is Simone.
946
00:46:38,260 --> 00:46:39,510
(Fran)
Simone?
947
00:46:39,590 --> 00:46:40,970
(Simone)
Simone Rolfe.
948
00:46:41,050 --> 00:46:43,340
(Fran)
Oh, yes; the celebrated goat-killer.
949
00:46:43,430 --> 00:46:46,640
Well, I'm really a photographer.
Killing goats is just a sideline.
950
00:46:47,470 --> 00:46:48,890
You travel quite a bit?
951
00:46:49,180 --> 00:46:50,680
(Fran)
Yes - quite a bit.
952
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:52,800
Good. Then you won't
be in London long.
953
00:46:53,390 --> 00:46:55,430
Well... it depends...
954
00:46:56,180 --> 00:46:57,510
Well, I must go, now.
955
00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:00,390
It was nice meeting you.
956
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:02,420
It was nice meeting you.
957
00:47:04,140 --> 00:47:07,220
Ooh, by the way, I'd love
to read your new book.
958
00:47:07,260 --> 00:47:08,260
May I?
959
00:47:08,300 --> 00:47:10,510
Oh, we- well, I've only
got five chapters so far.
960
00:47:10,590 --> 00:47:12,220
Well, couldn't I take them?
961
00:47:12,390 --> 00:47:14,390
Then, of course, I'll have
to bring them back...
962
00:47:16,840 --> 00:47:18,420
(Reggie)
Oh... yes...
963
00:47:28,340 --> 00:47:29,510
There you are.
964
00:47:29,550 --> 00:47:30,680
Thank you!
965
00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:32,720
Now that you know where I live,
you won't be a stranger, will you?
966
00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:33,720
I promise.
967
00:47:33,760 --> 00:47:36,470
And you...? You won't forget
my proposition... lover?
968
00:47:37,220 --> 00:47:38,470
(Reggie)
I promise.
969
00:47:43,430 --> 00:47:44,560
(Reggie)
Bye!
970
00:47:48,930 --> 00:47:50,350
What 'proposition'?
971
00:47:50,390 --> 00:47:51,560
Oh, just business.
972
00:47:51,590 --> 00:47:53,420
Oh, really? Is that why
she called you lover'?
973
00:47:53,470 --> 00:47:54,760
She calls everybody 'lover'...
974
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:56,380
What d'you do, stand in line?
975
00:47:56,930 --> 00:47:58,470
I detest vulgarity.
976
00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:02,170
Oh, by the way - where do you keep
the large brown envelopes in my study?
977
00:48:02,220 --> 00:48:03,720
In the bottom drawer. Why?
978
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,510
I wish to send the first chapters
of my book to my publisher.
979
00:48:08,760 --> 00:48:10,260
(SLAMS DOOR)
980
00:48:12,550 --> 00:48:13,630
(SLAMS DOOR)
981
00:48:14,180 --> 00:48:16,640
Mr Lunton, here's the reader's
report on Mrs Blake's first chapter.
982
00:48:16,720 --> 00:48:18,600
Ah, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
983
00:48:18,640 --> 00:48:20,140
Let's have a look.
984
00:48:20,180 --> 00:48:21,510
Now, then...
985
00:48:22,890 --> 00:48:24,180
Oh, no.
986
00:48:25,180 --> 00:48:26,600
(Charles)
No, no, no.
987
00:48:27,010 --> 00:48:28,550
What's the matter, Mr Lunton?
988
00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:30,510
This is not what I
expected at all.
989
00:48:30,550 --> 00:48:32,130
Now I have got a problem.
990
00:48:32,430 --> 00:48:34,390
If you want me, I'll
be at the Blakes'.
991
00:48:51,220 --> 00:48:52,300
(DOORBELL RINGS)
992
00:48:55,840 --> 00:48:57,380
(Fran)
Charles! Come in.
993
00:48:57,470 --> 00:49:00,100
Thank you. Is, er...
is Reggie about?
994
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,560
(Fran) No, he's out shopping.
It's his turn today.
995
00:49:03,300 --> 00:49:04,590
(Charles)
I beg your pardon?
996
00:49:04,890 --> 00:49:06,270
Oh, I'll explain later.
997
00:49:06,340 --> 00:49:09,050
Listen, Fran, I hope you don't
think I'm frightened of Reggie;
998
00:49:09,090 --> 00:49:11,920
it's just that I make it my
policy never to hit clients.
999
00:49:12,680 --> 00:49:14,760
I think that's a very good policy.
1000
00:49:19,510 --> 00:49:21,760
Charles, there's no need
to be so nervous.
1001
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:22,880
I'm not nervous.
1002
00:49:22,930 --> 00:49:24,100
Well, what is it, then?
1003
00:49:24,180 --> 00:49:26,640
It's your book, dear.
You know, we may have made a big mistake.
1004
00:49:26,800 --> 00:49:27,970
Is it no good?
1005
00:49:28,010 --> 00:49:30,640
No, it's not that; but if these pages
were to get into the wrong hands,
1006
00:49:30,720 --> 00:49:33,050
Reggie might be the laughing
stock of the century.
1007
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:36,090
Hah! Wouldn't that
be wonderful?!
1008
00:49:36,140 --> 00:49:40,350
Now, Fran, Fran, wait a minute. It was our original
intention to make Reggie re-write, not to destroy him.
1009
00:49:40,390 --> 00:49:42,270
Intentions change.
1010
00:49:42,550 --> 00:49:45,180
Does the name 'Simone Rolfe'
mean anything to you?
1011
00:49:45,390 --> 00:49:47,430
Good Heavens. Not another woman?
1012
00:49:47,590 --> 00:49:49,420
Have you ever heard
of a man called 'Simone'?
1013
00:49:49,470 --> 00:49:50,640
Come to think of it... no.
1014
00:49:50,840 --> 00:49:52,920
Well, are you going to publish
the book, or aren't you?
1015
00:49:53,010 --> 00:49:54,340
Because I'll need the money ―
1016
00:49:54,550 --> 00:49:55,720
to get the divorce.
1017
00:49:56,010 --> 00:49:57,550
Fran, you wouldn't!
1018
00:49:57,590 --> 00:49:59,220
Wouldn't I? Look at my eyes.
1019
00:50:01,300 --> 00:50:02,800
Ooh, I believe you would.
1020
00:50:03,220 --> 00:50:05,430
So if you'll give me those
pages, I'll carry on with it
1021
00:50:05,510 --> 00:50:07,720
because if you won't publish it,
I'll have to find someone who will.
1022
00:50:08,510 --> 00:50:09,640
Sorry.
1023
00:50:10,470 --> 00:50:13,680
(Fran) I wish you'd change
your mind, Charles; for me.
1024
00:50:13,720 --> 00:50:16,140
(Charles) You know how I feel
about you, Fran - but I can't.
1025
00:50:16,430 --> 00:50:17,720
(Fran)
Charles...
1026
00:50:17,970 --> 00:50:19,470
(Charles)
But it's a matter of loyalty.
1027
00:50:19,510 --> 00:50:21,720
(Charles) If it weren't, I couldn't
wait to get my hands on your-
1028
00:50:21,800 --> 00:50:24,010
(Reggie)
Aaah! At it again, eh?!
1029
00:50:24,140 --> 00:50:25,810
Oh, Reggie, don't be ridiculous.
1030
00:50:25,840 --> 00:50:27,760
How dare you flaunt
your lover in my face?
1031
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:28,930
(Charles)
Lover?!
1032
00:50:28,970 --> 00:50:30,260
Yesterday it was the window cleaner.
1033
00:50:30,340 --> 00:50:31,380
She has the gall to admit it!
1034
00:50:31,430 --> 00:50:32,680
(Charles)
Me, Fran's lover?!
1035
00:50:32,720 --> 00:50:35,760
Well, how is it that every time I find you
two you're larking about on the floor, eh?
1036
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:37,170
Reggie, you've got hold of
the wrong end of the stick.
1037
00:50:37,220 --> 00:50:39,680
Do you know what they do in the desert
to men who touch other men's wives?
1038
00:50:39,720 --> 00:50:41,180
They cut off their hands!
1039
00:50:41,260 --> 00:50:42,430
(Charles)
Do they? How barbaric.
1040
00:50:42,470 --> 00:50:44,430
(Charles)
Not at all, they're most highly civilised.
1041
00:50:44,470 --> 00:50:46,220
We were talking about my book!
1042
00:50:46,300 --> 00:50:47,760
I've heard that one before.
1043
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:50,680
(Fran) Well, here's one you
haven't heard before: he likes it!
1044
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,140
Hah, hah, hah! What does he know about books?
He turned down the Kinsey report!
1045
00:50:53,180 --> 00:50:54,930
I'll have you know,
my taste is infallible!
1046
00:50:54,970 --> 00:50:56,800
All right, well, go ahead and publish it!
1047
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:58,510
- I will.
- Oh, Charles!
1048
00:50:58,550 --> 00:50:59,720
Oh, dear.
1049
00:50:59,930 --> 00:51:02,260
Show this creaking
Casanova out of my house!
1050
00:51:02,300 --> 00:51:04,840
(Fran) Your house? This
happens to be my territory!
1051
00:51:05,510 --> 00:51:07,340
(Fran)
Out, or I'll take back my bathroom!
1052
00:51:07,510 --> 00:51:08,760
That isn't fair!
1053
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:09,930
(Fran)
I'll do it.
1054
00:51:10,890 --> 00:51:12,060
Very well.
1055
00:51:12,090 --> 00:51:14,220
Oh, just a word of warning,
he wears a corset.
1056
00:51:14,300 --> 00:51:15,300
He does not!
1057
00:51:15,340 --> 00:51:16,630
How do you know?!
1058
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:17,930
Out!
1059
00:51:21,640 --> 00:51:23,180
And this happens to be my territory.
1060
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:27,890
But, Charles, we were
going to discuss-
1061
00:51:27,930 --> 00:51:30,220
I'm sorry, Fran, but I never stay anywhere
when I don't know what's going on,
1062
00:51:30,260 --> 00:51:32,640
and I certainly don't know
what's going on here.
1063
00:51:39,970 --> 00:51:42,260
Ah... what were we talking about?
1064
00:51:42,550 --> 00:51:43,970
Oh, yes - my book.
1065
00:51:44,050 --> 00:51:46,800
Now, the cover. I see
my name in bold type...
1066
00:51:47,260 --> 00:51:50,590
and underneath, a picture;
something revealing...
1067
00:51:51,050 --> 00:51:52,970
shall we say... my personality?
1068
00:51:53,550 --> 00:51:55,680
(Fran) Let's go in here where
we can have some quiet.
1069
00:51:56,300 --> 00:51:59,260
(Fran) The bedroom's mine.
And much more comfortable.
1070
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:29,720
Why, I'd love to, lover...
tout de suite.
1071
00:52:29,800 --> 00:52:31,300
- It's Blake?
- Hm.
1072
00:52:31,340 --> 00:52:32,510
What does he vant?
1073
00:52:32,550 --> 00:52:35,550
What do you think?
And I thought I was not getting through to him...
1074
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:39,590
Vith your equipment, my dear,
you could raise the dead.
1075
00:52:39,680 --> 00:52:41,010
You are sweet.
1076
00:52:41,050 --> 00:52:43,630
He asked me to go right
over, so I'll ring you later.
1077
00:52:44,050 --> 00:52:47,300
You know, darling? You signal's been
getting through to me also...
1078
00:52:48,010 --> 00:52:50,260
I didn't think you were
still picking up signals.
1079
00:52:50,300 --> 00:52:51,470
Like a radar, my dear.
1080
00:52:51,720 --> 00:52:54,140
Lover... you are in
the wrong beam.
1081
00:52:56,140 --> 00:52:59,890
(Fran) Well, I should have the rest of the
book outlined in a day or two, at the most.
1082
00:52:59,930 --> 00:53:01,220
(Charles)
Good, good, good...
1083
00:53:01,390 --> 00:53:02,640
(LAUGHTER)
1084
00:53:02,890 --> 00:53:05,220
Oh, I... I believe
you've met my wife.
1085
00:53:05,340 --> 00:53:06,510
(Simone)
Ah, yes.
1086
00:53:06,550 --> 00:53:08,680
And this is my ex-publisher,
Mr Lunton.
1087
00:53:09,510 --> 00:53:11,090
- How do you do.
- How do you do.
1088
00:53:11,180 --> 00:53:14,010
Goodbye. I beg your pardon ―
I mean, er... nice meeting you.
1089
00:53:14,050 --> 00:53:15,380
(Chalres)
Is it?
1090
00:53:15,470 --> 00:53:17,050
Oh, thank you. How nice
of you to say so―
1091
00:53:17,140 --> 00:53:18,270
I hate long goodbyes.
1092
00:53:18,300 --> 00:53:20,130
(Charles)
Yes... ha, ha... very original.
1093
00:53:20,430 --> 00:53:22,260
(Reggie) Ah-ah―
you've forgotten something.
1094
00:53:23,090 --> 00:53:24,800
The back door, please.
1095
00:53:24,840 --> 00:53:26,720
The front door's mine ― remember?
1096
00:53:27,050 --> 00:53:28,180
(Reggie)
Ha, ha, ha!
1097
00:53:30,470 --> 00:53:33,300
You were saying you read my book
and adored it, weren't you, my sweet?
1098
00:53:33,340 --> 00:53:34,510
(Simone)
Yes...
1099
00:53:34,550 --> 00:53:37,260
...and I can just see Cary Grant
as you in a picture.
1100
00:53:38,050 --> 00:53:39,220
(Reggie)
What a splendid idea!
1101
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:41,100
(Reggie)
We'll drink to that.
1102
00:53:41,180 --> 00:53:42,390
(Reggie)
'Desert Fires' - remember?
1103
00:53:42,470 --> 00:53:44,470
Ah, how could I forget? Wow!
1104
00:53:45,010 --> 00:53:46,550
Don't spill any, or
you'll burn the rug.
1105
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:49,130
(Reggie)
Cheers.
1106
00:53:49,220 --> 00:53:52,140
Oh, wait! Wait! D'you remember when we
used to sit down on the ground to drink them?
1107
00:53:52,180 --> 00:53:54,680
Oh, yes, of course
to keep from falling!
1108
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,130
- That's it.
- Let's do it.
1109
00:53:56,260 --> 00:53:58,680
(Reggie)
Ah... there.
1110
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:00,970
- Cheers
- Cheers.
1111
00:54:07,840 --> 00:54:09,420
(HOARSELY)
Splendid.
1112
00:54:10,510 --> 00:54:11,680
Mmm...
1113
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:15,430
I hope you won't mind, I... I made
some notes on your chapters.
1114
00:54:17,720 --> 00:54:20,390
You made some notes
on my chapters?
1115
00:54:20,470 --> 00:54:22,220
Was that bad of me?
1116
00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:25,180
Oh, no, no... 'course not, I...
1117
00:54:25,260 --> 00:54:27,140
welcome any suggestions.
1118
00:54:27,220 --> 00:54:28,970
If there's one thing about me...
1119
00:54:29,510 --> 00:54:31,470
that's the thing about me. Heh.
1120
00:54:35,430 --> 00:54:38,010
(Reggie) Funny, isn't it, how quickly
these things take effect?
1121
00:54:38,430 --> 00:54:42,180
Or funnier, what they
make you want to do...
1122
00:54:42,390 --> 00:54:44,020
(CHUCKLES)
1123
00:54:47,090 --> 00:54:48,170
(Simone)
Oh...
1124
00:54:48,220 --> 00:54:50,050
(Reggie)
Oh, no, don't worry, Simone...
1125
00:54:50,340 --> 00:54:52,300
(Reggie)
just, er, a marriage of convenience.
1126
00:54:52,390 --> 00:54:53,520
(Reggie)
Cheers!
1127
00:54:53,550 --> 00:54:54,470
(DOOR SLAMS)
1128
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:56,840
(Reggie)
Two more gone.
1129
00:54:59,090 --> 00:55:00,300
Mmm.
1130
00:55:00,890 --> 00:55:03,770
You know... floors are different.
1131
00:55:04,640 --> 00:55:06,140
Some are impossible.
1132
00:55:06,970 --> 00:55:08,800
I often felt that.
1133
00:55:09,680 --> 00:55:11,010
Let's have another.
1134
00:55:11,050 --> 00:55:12,380
Lovely!
1135
00:55:14,390 --> 00:55:15,770
Can you see it?
1136
00:55:15,840 --> 00:55:17,050
Um. Hm?
1137
00:55:17,090 --> 00:55:19,260
'Sandy's Productions Presents...
1138
00:55:19,300 --> 00:55:21,510
ba-ba-ba-baah! in Magnifoscope ...'
1139
00:55:21,890 --> 00:55:23,970
Reggie Blake's Bew Nook!
1140
00:55:24,140 --> 00:55:25,060
(LAUGHS)
1141
00:55:25,590 --> 00:55:27,010
New book!
1142
00:55:27,090 --> 00:55:28,550
Yes - exactly.
1143
00:55:29,510 --> 00:55:33,050
If you make doubles, you
won't have to bother again.
1144
00:55:34,430 --> 00:55:37,850
You- you know, Simone, you are
an exceptionally clever woman.
1145
00:55:38,180 --> 00:55:39,470
I know.
1146
00:55:39,720 --> 00:55:41,010
(Reggie)
Ha, ha, ha...
1147
00:55:41,090 --> 00:55:42,220
Ooh!
1148
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,270
Ooh la!
1149
00:55:47,260 --> 00:55:51,510
D'you know, it's amazing that I
can stand here completely sober!
1150
00:55:51,550 --> 00:55:53,340
Ha, ha, hah!
1151
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:55,340
You are sitting!
1152
00:55:56,010 --> 00:55:57,510
(LAUGHS)
1153
00:55:57,550 --> 00:55:59,380
(Reggie)
Don't be ridiculous! Ha, ha, hah!
1154
00:56:05,510 --> 00:56:07,340
Simone...
1155
00:56:07,430 --> 00:56:09,260
do you really think my book'd
make a good film ― eh?
1156
00:56:09,340 --> 00:56:11,220
I am positive. I am sure.
1157
00:56:11,260 --> 00:56:12,680
- You are.
- Yeah.
1158
00:56:12,890 --> 00:56:15,970
I'll give my ex-publisher
an apres farce.
1159
00:56:17,050 --> 00:56:20,470
Yes, but first you have to
finish the book! Ha, ha, ha!
1160
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,180
A mere detail. We'll go
somewhere where I can concentrate.
1161
00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:25,930
The desert?
1162
00:56:25,970 --> 00:56:29,140
Yes! Oh, yes! And I
can help you there...
1163
00:56:30,640 --> 00:56:31,930
My slave!
1164
00:56:32,470 --> 00:56:34,760
Mmm! That sounds deleecious!
1165
00:56:37,640 --> 00:56:39,470
How soon can you
get packed, then, hm?
1166
00:56:39,510 --> 00:56:40,840
- Seconds.
- Seconds.
1167
00:56:41,470 --> 00:56:42,970
I won't need much.
1168
00:56:43,180 --> 00:56:44,350
(LAUGHTER)
1169
00:56:44,510 --> 00:56:46,680
Just a few veils, eh?
1170
00:56:47,260 --> 00:56:50,720
(Simone) If we go into the desert
you can grow your beard again.
1171
00:56:52,390 --> 00:56:53,600
(DOORBELL STARTS RINGING)
1172
00:56:54,390 --> 00:56:56,140
(Simone)
Give me another one.
1173
00:56:56,180 --> 00:56:58,180
Oh, yes, another one... hm, hm.
1174
00:56:58,340 --> 00:56:59,920
(DOORBELL STILL RINGING)
1175
00:57:00,510 --> 00:57:03,510
Is... is it Sunday?
I hear bells. Mm?
1176
00:57:04,010 --> 00:57:05,760
It's the door.
1177
00:57:05,800 --> 00:57:07,300
(Reggie)
Whose door?
1178
00:57:07,340 --> 00:57:08,630
I don't know...
1179
00:57:08,720 --> 00:57:10,470
Ignore it, ignore it, ignore it.
1180
00:57:11,720 --> 00:57:13,600
You know ― what were you saying?
1181
00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:14,760
What were you saying?
1182
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:16,050
Front door ― yours.
1183
00:57:16,340 --> 00:57:17,380
Yoo-hoo.
1184
00:57:17,430 --> 00:57:19,810
Join us for a Desert Fire!
1185
00:57:22,510 --> 00:57:24,180
(Fran)
Reggie, the bell!
1186
00:57:24,890 --> 00:57:26,930
Reggie, the bell.
1187
00:57:26,970 --> 00:57:28,470
Ah! The bell.
1188
00:57:30,090 --> 00:57:31,840
My turn, my turn.
1189
00:57:32,300 --> 00:57:33,550
(Simone)
Oopla...
1190
00:57:34,010 --> 00:57:35,050
Oooh...
1191
00:57:35,090 --> 00:57:37,630
The Deshert Fire izh a drink.
1192
00:57:37,720 --> 00:57:39,430
I'd never've guessed.
1193
00:57:39,510 --> 00:57:41,510
No? Oh.
1194
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:45,270
(Simone)
Well... I must... I must go now.
1195
00:57:45,430 --> 00:57:46,510
Must you?
1196
00:57:47,140 --> 00:57:48,430
(WHISPERS)
Yess.
1197
00:57:48,970 --> 00:57:50,760
Oooh... she's angry...
1198
00:58:05,340 --> 00:58:07,090
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight.
1199
00:58:07,180 --> 00:58:08,430
Goodnight?
1200
00:58:10,680 --> 00:58:12,100
Your coat.
1201
00:58:16,800 --> 00:58:19,130
Mmm... f-fiendish.
1202
00:58:24,300 --> 00:58:25,590
D'ooh!
1203
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:27,050
(COUGHS)
1204
00:58:29,390 --> 00:58:31,140
Thass my drink.
1205
00:58:32,680 --> 00:58:35,600
Who'd want to stick
a- pin in the door?
1206
00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:38,760
Yes - when there are so many
other places more deserving?
1207
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:44,470
(COUGHING VIOLENTLY)
1208
00:58:50,970 --> 00:58:52,800
Ugh... I don't feel well.
1209
00:58:53,140 --> 00:58:54,640
You're drunk.
1210
00:58:55,140 --> 00:58:57,100
Oh, go on ― go to bed.
1211
00:58:57,890 --> 00:58:59,270
Where is it...?
1212
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:08,180
Uh... Shelley...
1213
00:59:10,340 --> 00:59:13,550
No, no. I'm sorry. It's absolutely...
1214
00:59:13,640 --> 00:59:17,520
(Charles) d'you mean to say you're asking me
to seduce this woman away from Reggie?
1215
00:59:17,590 --> 00:59:19,880
Not seduce; entice.
1216
00:59:19,930 --> 00:59:21,720
Oh, of course, yes, I
beg your pardon ― sorry.
1217
00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:24,970
Well, but, honestly, dear, if you'll excuse
me for saying so, I think you must be mad-
1218
00:59:25,010 --> 00:59:28,180
Charles, you've got to. They're
planning on going away together!
1219
00:59:28,340 --> 00:59:30,220
Well, they'll come back.
Reggie always comes back.
1220
00:59:30,340 --> 00:59:33,050
Charles, please. I love him.
1221
00:59:33,260 --> 00:59:37,470
I don't know why anymore,
but I do. You're my last hope.
1222
00:59:37,590 --> 00:59:38,880
(Charles)
Yes, dear, but...
1223
00:59:38,970 --> 00:59:43,510
even supposing I could do it, I mean, why should this
French mademoiselle be interested in a middle-aged,
1224
00:59:43,590 --> 00:59:45,130
confirmed bachelor like me?
1225
00:59:45,430 --> 00:59:47,890
Don't you realise you're at
your most dangerous age?
1226
00:59:48,090 --> 00:59:51,510
(Charles) Me? Am I? Ho, ho,
am I really? Oh, I hadn't realised that―
1227
00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:54,090
No. Oh, you don't catch
me like that, my dear.
1228
00:59:54,180 --> 00:59:57,260
(Charles) Fran, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'd
do anything, anything else, but not this.
1229
00:59:57,300 --> 00:59:58,680
The very thought of
it makes me shudder.
1230
00:59:58,760 --> 00:59:59,840
Why?
1231
00:59:59,890 --> 01:00:03,140
Don't ask me why... Good Heavens, some
people are frightened of wild animals,
1232
01:00:03,180 --> 01:00:05,890
and I'm not, I adore wild animals ― the
wilder the better - but this is different;
1233
01:00:05,970 --> 01:00:07,510
I don't know why.
1234
01:00:07,590 --> 01:00:10,220
You've got to help me; you
got me into this situation.
1235
01:00:10,430 --> 01:00:11,760
I got you into it?
1236
01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:15,050
Of course. If you hadn't sent Reggie into the
desert, he'd never have met that woman, and-
1237
01:00:15,680 --> 01:00:17,310
You see, it's all your fault.
1238
01:00:17,470 --> 01:00:18,800
Oh, dear, I suppose it is...
1239
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:21,170
it's an interesting bit of
logic, though, I must say.
1240
01:00:21,840 --> 01:00:23,010
(CHUCKLES)
1241
01:00:23,390 --> 01:00:25,020
(Charles)
All right then, I suppose...
1242
01:00:25,050 --> 01:00:27,510
Oh Charles,
thank you. Thank you.
1243
01:00:27,550 --> 01:00:30,180
I might as well start getting used
to this sort of thing, mightn't I?
1244
01:00:32,260 --> 01:00:33,590
(Fran)
You'll never regret it!
1245
01:00:33,680 --> 01:00:35,060
I regret it already!
1246
01:00:35,890 --> 01:00:37,270
- Now.
- What?
1247
01:00:38,010 --> 01:00:41,590
...with a woman like Simone,
you've got to be sophisticated...
1248
01:00:42,010 --> 01:00:45,640
suave... dashing...
devil-may-care!
1249
01:00:45,890 --> 01:00:47,720
Have I? Suave, dashing... me?
1250
01:00:47,760 --> 01:00:49,340
(Fran)
Yes, you can do it! I know you can!
1251
01:00:49,430 --> 01:00:50,850
- You think I can?
- Of course.
1252
01:00:50,890 --> 01:00:53,680
In business you're assured,
very successful...
1253
01:00:54,470 --> 01:00:55,930
think of it as a business deal.
1254
01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:00,970
All right, then.
She's a business deal.
1255
01:01:01,590 --> 01:01:03,880
I'll never forget you
for this! Mwah.
1256
01:01:11,760 --> 01:01:17,140
'Suave'... 'Dashing'...
'Devil-may-care'! Ho, ho, ho...
1257
01:01:18,680 --> 01:01:20,810
'I'll give you the
key to my heart.'
1258
01:01:21,470 --> 01:01:23,300
That's not bad, I'll
make a note of that.
1259
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:24,600
Oh...
1260
01:01:24,680 --> 01:01:25,760
(OVER THE TELEPHONE)
Yes, Mr Lunton?
1261
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:27,720
Come in a moment,
will you, please?
1262
01:01:28,430 --> 01:01:31,890
What was it? I'll... give... you...
1263
01:01:32,800 --> 01:01:36,340
the key... to... my... heart.'
1264
01:01:41,970 --> 01:01:43,300
Yes, Mr Lunton?
1265
01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:50,680
Oh, erm... come in,
come in, come in.
1266
01:01:50,720 --> 01:01:51,760
(CLEARS THROAT)
1267
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:54,840
(Charles)
Ah... call me Charlie', will you?
1268
01:01:56,840 --> 01:01:58,380
I beg your pardon, Mr-
1269
01:01:58,430 --> 01:02:00,220
(Charles)
No, not 'Mr'. Just Charlie'.
1270
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:04,680
(Charles)
'Call me...
1271
01:02:04,720 --> 01:02:06,260
(Charles)
Charlie'... 'course...
1272
01:02:06,340 --> 01:02:07,510
(Charles)
Hm... Christian name...
1273
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:10,510
(MIDDLE-EASTERN MUSIC)
1274
01:02:36,180 --> 01:02:37,390
Fran.
1275
01:02:48,340 --> 01:02:50,420
(Reggie)
Is there a doctor in the house?
1276
01:02:51,140 --> 01:02:52,520
(Reggie)
Fran?
1277
01:02:58,510 --> 01:03:00,090
(Reggie)
Fran...
1278
01:03:05,220 --> 01:03:06,680
(Reggie)
Fran...
1279
01:03:19,930 --> 01:03:21,140
(HE SHRIEKS)
1280
01:03:22,590 --> 01:03:24,550
(Policeman)
Good afternoon, sir.
1281
01:03:24,890 --> 01:03:26,560
Nice day for a stroll.
1282
01:03:30,010 --> 01:03:32,050
Wind's coming up a bit, sir.
1283
01:03:32,300 --> 01:03:34,380
Might get a bit
chilly later on.
1284
01:03:35,180 --> 01:03:36,760
I'll get a hat.
1285
01:03:42,890 --> 01:03:44,390
(Reggie)
This is my house?
1286
01:03:45,140 --> 01:03:47,180
Well, it's the one you
came out of, sir.
1287
01:03:48,590 --> 01:03:50,090
Incredible logic.
1288
01:03:56,260 --> 01:03:58,180
I'll see you get
promotion for this.
1289
01:03:58,680 --> 01:04:00,100
Thank you, sir.
1290
01:04:05,470 --> 01:04:06,890
(TO HIMSELF)
Big'ead.
1291
01:04:09,090 --> 01:04:10,260
Mm...?
1292
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:22,470
Hm. Good old friend...
1293
01:04:28,010 --> 01:04:29,800
(Reggie)
'I Was Conquered by...
1294
01:04:29,890 --> 01:04:31,970
(Reggie)
I wonder who she means?
1295
01:04:33,050 --> 01:04:38,720
I want to speak to Miss― Ma― er... to,
to Mademoiselle Simone R-R-Rolfe, please.
1296
01:04:38,890 --> 01:04:40,470
This is Miss Rolfe...
1297
01:04:40,930 --> 01:04:42,390
(CHARLES VOICE)
Oh ― is it?
1298
01:04:42,640 --> 01:04:43,970
Oh, no...
1299
01:04:44,050 --> 01:04:46,550
(Charles)
This is, erm... this is, er...
1300
01:04:46,930 --> 01:04:49,140
(Charles) Er, w-wait... Oh, yes,
th- th- this is Dear Mr Lunton.
1301
01:04:49,760 --> 01:04:51,800
No, no- er, Mr Lunton, dear.
1302
01:04:51,890 --> 01:04:53,020
What am I talking about?
1303
01:04:53,050 --> 01:04:54,300
This is Charlie Lunton.
1304
01:04:54,340 --> 01:04:57,880
Oh. Lunton? The Mr Lunton
I met at the Blakes'?
1305
01:04:57,930 --> 01:04:59,390
That's right, I met him too.
1306
01:04:59,430 --> 01:05:01,350
(CHARLES VOICE)
Oh, no, no... well, Ma- yes, I, I, I...
1307
01:05:01,390 --> 01:05:03,270
Hah, hah!
Well, call me 'Charlie', eh...
1308
01:05:03,550 --> 01:05:04,840
Thank you.
1309
01:05:04,890 --> 01:05:06,310
Would you care to
have dinner with me?
1310
01:05:06,390 --> 01:05:09,060
Oh, no... no,
I'm sorry, I can't.
1311
01:05:09,140 --> 01:05:10,810
And then back to
my place, naturally.
1312
01:05:10,970 --> 01:05:12,010
What?
1313
01:05:12,050 --> 01:05:13,180
Oh, no, no! No.
1314
01:05:13,220 --> 01:05:14,470
Oh, that comes later...
I beg your pardon.
1315
01:05:14,550 --> 01:05:15,680
Hold on, hold on, will you?
1316
01:05:15,890 --> 01:05:16,930
Phew.
1317
01:05:17,260 --> 01:05:19,680
'Business deal', that's what
Fran said; business deal'.
1318
01:05:20,220 --> 01:05:21,970
Of course... easy.
1319
01:05:22,340 --> 01:05:23,720
(CLEARS THROAT)
1320
01:05:26,680 --> 01:05:28,180
Are you there, miss?
1321
01:05:29,300 --> 01:05:30,550
Yes.
1322
01:05:30,930 --> 01:05:34,720
Er, mademoiselle. It would be to your advantage
if you were to have dinner with me tonight.
1323
01:05:34,760 --> 01:05:36,470
Oh, it would? How?
1324
01:05:36,890 --> 01:05:38,970
(CHARLES VOICE)
Well, you're a photographer, I'm told?
1325
01:05:39,010 --> 01:05:40,090
Yes...
1326
01:05:40,140 --> 01:05:43,430
Well... I'm a publisher, and I'm thinking
of publishing a book of photographs.
1327
01:05:44,300 --> 01:05:46,090
Oh, you are?
1328
01:05:46,470 --> 01:05:48,930
Pick me up at my
place at seven-thirty.
1329
01:05:48,970 --> 01:05:49,930
I beg your pardon?
1330
01:05:49,970 --> 01:05:51,140
Seven-thirty, my place.
1331
01:05:51,180 --> 01:05:52,680
(SIMONES VOICE)
Forty-five, Chapel Square.
1332
01:05:52,720 --> 01:05:54,800
Er, seven-thirty - wait a minute,
wait a minute... don― don― don't―
1333
01:05:54,970 --> 01:05:56,800
Er, hello? Are you there?
1334
01:05:57,840 --> 01:05:59,010
Oouph.
1335
01:06:00,090 --> 01:06:01,590
Well, well.
1336
01:06:02,050 --> 01:06:03,680
'Call me Charlie', indeed...
1337
01:06:03,890 --> 01:06:05,310
(DOORBELL RINGS)
1338
01:06:10,390 --> 01:06:12,060
(Charles)
Oh. How do you do.
1339
01:06:12,090 --> 01:06:14,880
(Simone)
Oh, Charlie, how thoughtful of you.
1340
01:06:14,970 --> 01:06:16,260
- Not at all.
- Thank you.
1341
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:18,720
They are beautiful.
1342
01:06:18,760 --> 01:06:19,800
(Charles)
Yes...
1343
01:06:22,680 --> 01:06:26,720
And now... you are going to tell
me all about the wonderful book
1344
01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:29,180
you are planning for me... lover.
1345
01:06:29,220 --> 01:06:30,800
Lover... yes.
1346
01:06:30,840 --> 01:06:34,090
Erm... don't you think perhaps we ought
to get to know each other a bit better first.
1347
01:06:34,180 --> 01:06:36,560
Go... go round the town...
have some fun...?
1348
01:06:36,590 --> 01:06:38,260
Fun! I'd love to!
1349
01:06:38,340 --> 01:06:41,340
But I didn't think you were the sort
of man who ever thought of fun.
1350
01:06:41,840 --> 01:06:44,840
Oh, ho, I wonder where you
ever got that idea from?
1351
01:06:44,930 --> 01:06:46,350
'Fun's my middle name.
1352
01:06:46,430 --> 01:06:48,510
Oh, really? Come on!
1353
01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:50,850
You fun-loving Charlie, you!
1354
01:06:51,050 --> 01:06:52,550
(LAUGHS)
1355
01:06:52,720 --> 01:06:54,010
(Charles)
Yes... hm.
1356
01:06:59,090 --> 01:07:02,800
(Simone) Oh, what a cute leetle
car! I bet it's fun driving it.
1357
01:07:03,260 --> 01:07:04,550
(Simone)
May I, lover?
1358
01:07:04,640 --> 01:07:06,270
(Charles) Erm, 'Charlie'.
Certainly, of course.
1359
01:07:06,470 --> 01:07:08,180
(Charles)
Get in.
1360
01:07:10,180 --> 01:07:11,390
(Charles)
There we are.
1361
01:07:24,300 --> 01:07:26,220
- She handles well.
- Yes.
1362
01:07:26,300 --> 01:07:28,130
I like a car with guts.
1363
01:07:28,260 --> 01:07:29,470
Yes. So do I.
1364
01:07:29,640 --> 01:07:31,470
(TYRES SCREECH)
1365
01:07:31,890 --> 01:07:33,770
(HORN SOUNDING)
1366
01:07:35,930 --> 01:07:38,850
I have driven in the Monte
Carlo rally four times
1367
01:07:38,890 --> 01:07:41,560
Really. Did you ever finish?
1368
01:07:41,640 --> 01:07:43,220
Ah, ha, ha! You're cute!
1369
01:07:43,300 --> 01:07:45,840
Hm, thank you. Tell me,
wh-what's your favourite restaurant?
1370
01:07:45,890 --> 01:07:47,520
Maxim, in Paris.
1371
01:07:47,590 --> 01:07:49,050
I daresay I meant, er...
1372
01:07:49,140 --> 01:07:51,140
Well, it's much too early to dine.
1373
01:07:51,220 --> 01:07:54,600
- Oh.
- There is a party going on in Chelsea that sounds like fun.
1374
01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:55,850
- A-ha.
- Shall we?
1375
01:07:55,930 --> 01:07:58,560
Er, yes, I've told you
'Fun's my middle name.
1376
01:08:00,550 --> 01:08:02,220
(Poet)
'Life is long', they say.
1377
01:08:02,510 --> 01:08:06,180
(Poet) And I answer, 'Life is a
junkie's dream, lying frozen in the gutter.'
1378
01:08:06,300 --> 01:08:08,260
Marvellous imagination,
don't you think?
1379
01:08:08,300 --> 01:08:10,550
Er, ha, ha... yes,
marvellous, marvellous...
1380
01:08:10,640 --> 01:08:11,890
Don't you like poetry?
1381
01:08:11,930 --> 01:08:13,760
No... oh, yes, poetry -
yes, of course.
1382
01:08:13,800 --> 01:08:14,880
'Course I do...
1383
01:08:14,930 --> 01:08:16,850
(Poet)
..The way to make it is to play it cool.
1384
01:08:16,930 --> 01:08:18,470
The heart is real cool, too.
1385
01:08:18,970 --> 01:08:20,470
And I dig heart.
1386
01:08:20,760 --> 01:08:23,010
I dig the monkey on my back;
the one on yours.
1387
01:08:23,430 --> 01:08:26,180
I make the scene
with dopies... cats...
1388
01:08:26,840 --> 01:08:28,380
even John Law.
1389
01:08:28,470 --> 01:08:30,220
He has got a real talent.
1390
01:08:30,300 --> 01:08:31,800
You ought to publish him, too.
1391
01:08:31,840 --> 01:08:33,340
Well, it's a thought, yes...
1392
01:08:34,260 --> 01:08:36,050
(Poet)
For I'm the lion;
1393
01:08:36,140 --> 01:08:37,680
(Poet)
king of the cats.
1394
01:08:37,840 --> 01:08:39,800
Take a look in the mirror.
That... creep,
1395
01:08:40,180 --> 01:08:42,470
staring back ripe
for the six-foot box...
1396
01:08:44,430 --> 01:08:45,640
is you.
1397
01:08:46,010 --> 01:08:47,510
(WILD CHEERING)
1398
01:08:49,720 --> 01:08:51,430
Bravo! Marvellous!
1399
01:08:54,470 --> 01:08:56,640
Erm, tell me, what's it called?
1400
01:08:56,760 --> 01:08:58,010
'The Optimist'.
1401
01:08:58,180 --> 01:08:59,930
Do you really think it's good?
1402
01:08:59,970 --> 01:09:01,430
I think it's excellent.
Shall we go?
1403
01:09:01,470 --> 01:09:03,100
No, no, no, no, wait,
you have to meet him!
1404
01:09:03,140 --> 01:09:04,470
Oh.
1405
01:09:06,220 --> 01:09:08,010
(MUSIC STARTS)
1406
01:09:17,430 --> 01:09:18,680
(Simone)
Charles...
1407
01:09:18,930 --> 01:09:20,760
(Charles)
Er, excuse me. That's yours, I think.
1408
01:09:21,220 --> 01:09:23,890
I want you to know
Mr Oliver Rolinsky.
1409
01:09:24,340 --> 01:09:26,010
Er, Mr Lunton is a publisher.
1410
01:09:26,090 --> 01:09:27,300
It's a pleasure.
1411
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:29,010
Crazy.
1412
01:09:29,390 --> 01:09:31,600
(Charles) I listened to your
poem with great interest.
1413
01:09:33,010 --> 01:09:34,180
Cool.
1414
01:09:35,340 --> 01:09:38,420
Have you, er... have you
ever been published?
1415
01:09:38,680 --> 01:09:40,060
What for, man?
1416
01:09:40,140 --> 01:09:42,770
'What for, man?' - that's a good question,
'What for, man?'... ha, ha...
1417
01:09:42,800 --> 01:09:44,300
(Oliver)
I mean, man... why?
1418
01:09:44,340 --> 01:09:47,090
'Why'? Ha, ha, that's another good one...
Let me think... oh, er, money, perhaps?
1419
01:09:47,300 --> 01:09:50,180
I don't believe in it,
dad. I dig truth.
1420
01:09:50,720 --> 01:09:51,970
That's very refreshing.
1421
01:09:52,010 --> 01:09:54,090
Sure, man. I don't
dig parasites.
1422
01:09:54,140 --> 01:09:55,470
(Charles)
I beg your pardon?
1423
01:09:55,550 --> 01:09:57,180
I mean, man... you
look like a hyena.
1424
01:09:57,220 --> 01:09:58,680
(Oliver)
Know what I mean, man?
1425
01:09:58,720 --> 01:10:00,350
No, I'm afraid not.
Do tell me.
1426
01:10:00,590 --> 01:10:01,840
Cool, daddy.
1427
01:10:01,890 --> 01:10:05,560
I'm pure, see? And... guys
like you drink my blood.
1428
01:10:06,050 --> 01:10:08,340
Well, not just at the moment,
thank you very much.
1429
01:10:11,470 --> 01:10:13,390
I think he liked you.
1430
01:10:33,090 --> 01:10:36,050
Well, shall it be your place
or mine, then... baby?
1431
01:10:37,180 --> 01:10:38,810
Mine... baby.
1432
01:10:42,430 --> 01:10:43,890
(CAR HONKS)
1433
01:10:44,220 --> 01:10:46,300
Why, you...! How
fast can we go?
1434
01:10:46,800 --> 01:10:48,010
About a hundred.
1435
01:10:48,050 --> 01:10:49,010
Bon.
1436
01:11:04,720 --> 01:11:06,140
Oh, no...
1437
01:11:16,300 --> 01:11:17,590
Oh...
Ah...
1438
01:11:18,840 --> 01:11:20,590
(Charles)
Thank you very much for a lovely time.
1439
01:11:20,680 --> 01:11:23,140
(Simone) No, no, come in,
darling. Don't be afraid.
1440
01:11:23,220 --> 01:11:24,800
Oh, but aren't you
longing to go to bed?
1441
01:11:24,890 --> 01:11:26,270
I beg your pardon ―
I mean, to sleep?
1442
01:11:26,300 --> 01:11:28,220
The night is still young.
1443
01:11:28,260 --> 01:11:29,680
You have a lovely flat.
1444
01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:32,510
Thank you.
You must show me yours sometime.
1445
01:11:32,590 --> 01:11:34,300
(Charles)
Oh, yes, of course, yes, yes...
1446
01:11:34,590 --> 01:11:38,470
You know... you are different to the
other men I have met in London.
1447
01:11:38,550 --> 01:11:39,840
(Charles)
Different how?
1448
01:11:39,930 --> 01:11:42,510
Well, with the others I have
to fight for my honour...
1449
01:11:42,590 --> 01:11:43,670
(Charles)
Oh, dear.
1450
01:11:43,720 --> 01:11:46,800
But you... I sense that you
understand that love can be beautiful...
1451
01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:47,970
- (Charles) Yes...
- ...don't you?
1452
01:11:49,140 --> 01:11:51,020
Do you mean... sex?
1453
01:11:51,180 --> 01:11:53,100
As one free mind to another...
1454
01:11:53,720 --> 01:11:55,050
(WHISPERS)
yes!
1455
01:11:55,760 --> 01:11:58,010
Ah ― I'm afraid it's
past my bedtime.
1456
01:11:58,050 --> 01:12:02,720
Mine, too. So, you just
relax, get comfortable...
1457
01:12:03,550 --> 01:12:06,590
and then we get to
know each other better.
1458
01:12:12,010 --> 01:12:13,760
(PUTS ON ROMANTIC MUSIC)
1459
01:12:27,550 --> 01:12:28,760
(Charles)
Thank you.
1460
01:12:28,840 --> 01:12:30,130
There you are.
1461
01:12:30,390 --> 01:12:32,890
Now, I get into something
more comfortable.
1462
01:12:33,300 --> 01:12:35,010
And then we talk about...
1463
01:12:37,050 --> 01:12:38,720
(WHISPERS)
my book.
1464
01:13:26,760 --> 01:13:28,220
(CHUCKLES)
1465
01:13:52,390 --> 01:13:53,770
(METALLIC CLATTER)
1466
01:14:10,550 --> 01:14:11,930
(WATER RUNNING)
1467
01:14:13,510 --> 01:14:14,890
(Bill)
'brrrrrrrrrr'... 'brrrrrrrrrrrrrr'...
1468
01:14:15,550 --> 01:14:16,840
(Bill)
'brrrrrrrrrr'... 'brr-brrrrrr'...
1469
01:14:16,890 --> 01:14:18,220
Baby?
1470
01:14:19,140 --> 01:14:20,600
What are you doing?
1471
01:14:20,800 --> 01:14:22,220
(Bill)
Making boats.
1472
01:14:22,430 --> 01:14:24,060
(Bill)
'Brrrrrrrr...'
1473
01:14:25,050 --> 01:14:26,340
Oh, no!
1474
01:14:29,680 --> 01:14:31,810
Baby, where did you
get Daddy's book?
1475
01:14:31,890 --> 01:14:33,640
(Bill)
Found it. On the floor.
1476
01:14:35,590 --> 01:14:37,630
Get back to bed.
Go on, quickly.
1477
01:14:41,840 --> 01:14:43,010
Oh...
1478
01:14:46,760 --> 01:14:48,390
(Fran)
First page of Chapter Two...
1479
01:14:48,550 --> 01:14:50,930
(Fran) That's the first page of Seven,
or is it page number eight...?
1480
01:14:51,340 --> 01:14:53,300
(Fran)
Second page of Chapter two...
1481
01:15:06,680 --> 01:15:08,560
(Fran) Reggie's Chapter
One ― it's burning!
1482
01:15:09,590 --> 01:15:12,010
(Fran)
Oh, it's... it's burnt!
1483
01:15:15,140 --> 01:15:16,560
(Fran)
Oh, no...
1484
01:15:23,680 --> 01:15:25,680
He'll think I've done
it on purpose.
1485
01:15:34,180 --> 01:15:35,600
Page four...
1486
01:16:04,590 --> 01:16:07,050
(FRAN'S VOICE ECHOING)
You'll be immortal, all right. An immortal bore!
1487
01:16:07,090 --> 01:16:08,670
(CHARLES' VOICE ECHOING)
And it isn't only my opinion...
1488
01:16:08,720 --> 01:16:10,390
(FRAN'S VOICE ECHOING)
If anyone should write a book about you, it's me!
1489
01:16:10,430 --> 01:16:12,810
(CHARLES' VOICE ECHOING)
Reggie, in both capacities, it's no good!
1490
01:16:12,840 --> 01:16:15,760
(FRAN'S VOICE ECHOING)
...and, believe me, I need sympathy being married to you!
1491
01:16:22,590 --> 01:16:24,220
(FRAN'S VOICE ECHOING)
Reggie, I warn you...
1492
01:16:24,260 --> 01:16:25,840
(CHARLES' VOICE ECHOING)
You're beginning to believe your own publicity!
1493
01:16:25,890 --> 01:16:27,680
(CHARLES' VOICE ECHOING)
...and your book is lacking in inspiration.
1494
01:16:27,760 --> 01:16:29,760
(CHARLES' VOICE ECHOING)
And whats more important, lacking in humanity!
1495
01:16:30,050 --> 01:16:32,090
(FRAN'S VOICE ECHOING)
The old Reggie Blake is gone!
1496
01:16:32,140 --> 01:16:33,850
(FRAN'S VOICE ECHOING)
Gone, and forgotten!
1497
01:16:33,930 --> 01:16:34,760
(Reggie)
No... no...
1498
01:16:35,050 --> 01:16:36,180
(CACKLING)
1499
01:16:40,010 --> 01:16:41,340
(FRAN'S LAUGHTER ECHOING)
1500
01:16:48,050 --> 01:16:49,510
(Reggie)
Uh!
1501
01:16:49,640 --> 01:16:52,430
(Reggie) I'm finished.
The old Reggie Blake is dead.
1502
01:16:57,220 --> 01:16:58,930
(Reggie)
Maybe I am dead.
1503
01:16:59,010 --> 01:17:00,680
(Reggie)
I feel numb.
1504
01:17:01,140 --> 01:17:04,640
(Reggie) Huh... she'll be
sorry. The old Reggie is dead.
1505
01:17:13,930 --> 01:17:15,180
What's the time?
1506
01:17:15,260 --> 01:17:16,180
(Fran)
It's late.
1507
01:17:17,430 --> 01:17:18,560
Coffee?
1508
01:17:47,970 --> 01:17:51,640
'I Conquered the Desert,
by Reginald Blake.'
1509
01:17:52,760 --> 01:17:56,010
(Reggie) 'The same moon
and the same stars...'
1510
01:17:57,930 --> 01:17:59,060
Hn...?
1511
01:17:59,760 --> 01:18:01,890
(Reggie)
Ah, Simone said she'd made some notes.
1512
01:18:02,720 --> 01:18:03,890
(Reggie)
She's brilliant!
1513
01:18:04,050 --> 01:18:05,630
(Reggie)
She's marvellous!
1514
01:18:06,010 --> 01:18:07,590
This is amazing.
1515
01:18:08,970 --> 01:18:10,390
Absolutely amazing.
1516
01:18:18,180 --> 01:18:19,310
(Reggie)
Fran...
1517
01:18:19,390 --> 01:18:20,470
Yes?
1518
01:18:20,590 --> 01:18:22,260
I've been thinking.
1519
01:18:22,340 --> 01:18:23,670
What about?
1520
01:18:23,720 --> 01:18:25,890
Well, about you,
and me, and life...
1521
01:18:26,010 --> 01:18:27,090
You have?
1522
01:18:27,220 --> 01:18:29,680
Yes. I was wrong.
Completely wrong.
1523
01:18:30,300 --> 01:18:32,130
Made an absolute fool of myself.
1524
01:18:33,590 --> 01:18:36,010
Reggie, do you know
what you're saying?
1525
01:18:36,760 --> 01:18:39,340
I must have been
blind. It's all here.
1526
01:18:39,760 --> 01:18:41,930
I've found the person
who can help me!
1527
01:18:42,760 --> 01:18:44,680
Oh, darling!
1528
01:18:44,930 --> 01:18:46,600
I knew you'd understand.
1529
01:18:46,680 --> 01:18:49,640
You've no idea how capable
she is ― as a writer, I mean.
1530
01:18:50,220 --> 01:18:51,300
Who?
1531
01:18:51,390 --> 01:18:52,640
Simone.
1532
01:18:52,680 --> 01:18:54,060
- Simone?
- Yes!
1533
01:18:54,180 --> 01:18:57,890
Yes, look at this. She said she was going to
make some notes on my chapters, but...
1534
01:18:58,300 --> 01:19:01,010
(LAUGHING)
She? She?!
1535
01:19:01,800 --> 01:19:04,090
(HYSTERICAL LAUGHTER)
1536
01:19:04,470 --> 01:19:05,640
(Reggie)
Fran...?
1537
01:19:06,680 --> 01:19:07,850
(Reggie)
Fran?
1538
01:19:08,590 --> 01:19:10,840
Fran, please, please!
You're hysterical!
1539
01:19:11,720 --> 01:19:14,720
We're both mad!
Absolutely mad!
1540
01:19:14,970 --> 01:19:16,600
Look, Fran, stop!
1541
01:19:18,390 --> 01:19:21,140
She didn't write those.
You did.
1542
01:19:22,640 --> 01:19:25,350
Look - I'm referring to these.
1543
01:19:25,430 --> 01:19:27,100
Yes, so am I.
1544
01:19:27,390 --> 01:19:30,180
I promise you, I'll never see her
again. I'll forget all about her.
1545
01:19:30,590 --> 01:19:33,470
All right, then. I confess.
1546
01:19:33,590 --> 01:19:35,090
(Fran)
It was an accident.
1547
01:19:35,180 --> 01:19:36,350
An accident.
1548
01:19:36,390 --> 01:19:38,640
You see, the first three pages
of your book were in the oven.
1549
01:19:38,760 --> 01:19:40,010
The oven...
1550
01:19:40,090 --> 01:19:42,220
(Fran) And I was ironing
the rest of the manuscript.
1551
01:19:42,300 --> 01:19:43,760
Ironing... ha, ha.
1552
01:19:43,840 --> 01:19:45,090
(Fran)
Well, I had to get them dry.
1553
01:19:45,220 --> 01:19:47,510
Oh, yes, yes - of
course you had to...
1554
01:19:47,640 --> 01:19:50,020
(Fran) Well, I had to get them
dry because they'd been sailboats.
1555
01:19:50,260 --> 01:19:52,340
Lie back, and I'll call
a doctor, yes...? Hm.
1556
01:19:52,390 --> 01:19:54,180
Listen. Listen.
1557
01:19:56,840 --> 01:19:57,920
(FRAN GIGGLING)
1558
01:20:01,890 --> 01:20:07,020
'To think... it was the same
moon, and the same stars...
1559
01:20:08,340 --> 01:20:10,050
the same soft glow.
1560
01:20:11,180 --> 01:20:13,510
The child held out
his little hand to me.
1561
01:20:14,470 --> 01:20:18,180
He was amazed. He'd never
seen a sweet before.'
1562
01:20:19,140 --> 01:20:20,520
'Never...'
1563
01:20:20,760 --> 01:20:22,220
'I gave him some.'
1564
01:20:25,390 --> 01:20:27,640
But this is mine!
1565
01:20:27,760 --> 01:20:29,640
These are the letters
that I wrote to you!
1566
01:20:29,930 --> 01:20:31,560
Yes - yours.
1567
01:20:32,930 --> 01:20:35,100
The old, magnificent Reggie Blake!
1568
01:20:35,590 --> 01:20:37,800
The old, magnificent Reggie Blake!
1569
01:20:37,930 --> 01:20:39,470
Aah! Ha, ha, ha!
1570
01:20:39,550 --> 01:20:41,220
Oh, and something else.
1571
01:20:41,260 --> 01:20:42,800
- What?
- Your book.
1572
01:20:42,840 --> 01:20:44,220
What about it?
1573
01:20:44,260 --> 01:20:47,840
As a portrait of an absolute charlie
it's the funniest thing I've ever read.
1574
01:20:48,090 --> 01:20:49,420
And the truest.
1575
01:20:49,510 --> 01:20:51,470
Darling, you're wonderful!
1576
01:20:51,550 --> 01:20:54,680
Yes, I am. Isn't it wonderful?
But you're wonderful, too.
1577
01:20:54,760 --> 01:20:57,050
No. You're more
wonderful than I am.
1578
01:20:57,640 --> 01:20:59,220
(Charles)
Oh- oh, there you are.
1579
01:20:59,260 --> 01:21:02,220
I had the most interesting
experience last night.
1580
01:21:02,260 --> 01:21:04,430
(Charles)
Fran, your worries are over!
1581
01:21:04,510 --> 01:21:07,590
(Charles) Simone showed me
her photographs. Most illuminating.
1582
01:21:07,680 --> 01:21:10,220
I'm thinking of taking up
photography as a hobby.
1583
01:21:10,260 --> 01:21:13,340
You know, darkroom and all
that sort of thing, heh, heh, heh...
1584
01:21:13,470 --> 01:21:15,180
- (Fran) Yes?
- (Reggie) My darling.
1585
01:21:15,340 --> 01:21:16,720
(Reggie)
Shut up.
1586
01:21:16,800 --> 01:21:19,470
(Charles) Good Heavens. What's the matter
with you? Don't you want to hear about it?
1587
01:21:19,930 --> 01:21:22,100
Oh, well, of course, if
you're not interested...
1588
01:21:40,590 --> 01:21:42,590
(Charles)
Mrs Reggie Blake Number One.
1589
01:21:44,470 --> 01:21:45,640
(CHUCKLES)
1590
01:21:46,930 --> 01:21:48,760
This way, madam.
1591
01:21:50,760 --> 01:21:52,180
Number Two...
1592
01:21:56,220 --> 01:21:58,350
Three... ha.
1593
01:22:02,220 --> 01:22:03,850
Number Four.
1594
01:22:10,050 --> 01:22:12,180
Excuse me, dear.
1595
01:22:12,430 --> 01:22:15,470
I take twenty-five percent
of everything he gets.
119347
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