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♪ upbeat theme playing ♪
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00:00:05,214 --> 00:00:08,926
♪ Ba‐ba‐ba‐ba,
ba‐ba‐ba‐ba ♪
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00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,387
♪ Ba‐ba, da‐da‐da‐da‐da‐da
da‐da‐da ♪
4
00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,142
Okay, so you walked Brooklyn Bridge,
5
00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:19,186
and that was the night you met Dad.
6
00:00:19,186 --> 00:00:21,438
And then how long
until you guys got together?
7
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:25,692
‐ This story is about the journey,
not the destination.
8
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,861
I'm going to get with
a whole bunch of dudes
9
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:29,446
before I wind up with Dad.
10
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,659
You know, I'm okay
with skipping to the destination.
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00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:36,453
‐ I'm going to need you
to live in the moment here.
12
00:00:37,079 --> 00:00:39,373
Which, back in the day,
I was terrible at.
13
00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:40,707
♪
14
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,919
After my super triumphant
Brooklyn Bridge Walk,
15
00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:46,004
I backslid.
16
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:49,716
Instead of living in the moment,
I decided to live in my phone.
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00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,760
‐ Morning!
‐ Can you knock?
18
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:54,555
‐ Nope! Were you looking
at your old texts with Ian?
19
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,764
‐ No.
20
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I was looking at porn.
21
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‐ Liar! You're scared of porn.
22
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‐ I'm not scared of porn.
23
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:04,565
I'm scared of the government
tracking my search history.
24
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‐ Stop wallowing. Put these on.
25
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It's Fonda time!
26
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Up!
27
00:01:11,697 --> 00:01:13,991
So, what are we thinking for tonight?
‐ Uh,
28
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,827
probably just going to stay in
and organize my darkroom closet.
29
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:19,329
You mean look at pictures of Ian
30
00:01:19,329 --> 00:01:21,123
while listening to
Drops of Jupiter on loop
31
00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:24,126
like you do every time
things don't work out with a guy?
32
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Tell me...
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♪ Did the wind sweep you
off your feet? Did you... ♪
34
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It's my comfort song.
It works for everything.
35
00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,469
You remember when the dry cleaner
shrunk my favorite sweater?
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♪ Tell me, did the wind
sweep you off your feet? ♪
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‐ You think Queen Jane stays in
on a Saturday night? No!
38
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She's out on the town, crushing dick.
39
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‐ Alright. I wish you'd stop
saying "crushing dick"
40
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about feminist icons, but you're right.
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Good!
42
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' Cause I got us into FOMO tonight.
43
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‐ What's FOMO?
44
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‐ It stands for "fear of missing out."
45
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‐ Yeah, I know what it stands for. Thanks.
46
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How do we go to it?
47
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Oh.
48
00:02:06,001 --> 00:02:08,003
FOMO is the name of this new club,
49
00:02:08,003 --> 00:02:09,963
which is a total sensory overload.
50
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,508
There are a million different rooms.
51
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A rave room, a foam party room,
52
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a topless room, a tapas room,
53
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a topless tapas room.
54
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They say there's no such thing
as having FOMO inside of FOMO.
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This will be perfect for you. Plus,
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I'm going to need a big night out
after I end things with Charlie.
57
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‐ Wait, you're ending things with Charlie?
58
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‐ I gotta. He's smothering me.
59
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‐ Morning, Valentina!
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‐ I got us coffees
from a real New York bod‐ega
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00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:43,288
and this chicken for dinner.
I opened the package,
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but I have no idea what happens next.
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‐ This morning,
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00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,461
I told him the best New York bagels
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are in Jersey just to have
a little time to myself.
66
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Anyway, I already drafted up a text.
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‐ You cannot text break up with Charlie.
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You are crazy into the guy.
You just told me yesterday
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00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:01,348
you were obsessed with him.
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‐ I did not.
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I'm obsessed with him!
72
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Fine, I'm conflicted, okay?
73
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,275
I mean,
74
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:14,027
he is fun...
75
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:15,279
and sweet
76
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and hot.
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Plus, he does this thing
in bed with his tongue
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00:03:19,408 --> 00:03:22,202
where he folds it into a cloverleaf.
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We call it lucky charming.
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‐ Uh, breakfast!
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00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:29,251
Most important meal of the day!
‐ Girl...
82
00:03:29,251 --> 00:03:31,461
But he's always around.
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00:03:31,461 --> 00:03:33,797
‐ Valentina. Of course
you think he's smothering you
84
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,966
because you're the only person he knows
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00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,759
in the entire city.
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00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,636
You just have to help him
make some friends.
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‐ Ew. Sounds hard.
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‐ Yeah, well, if I have to be mature
and stop dwelling on Ian,
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00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,143
then you need to be mature
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00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,687
and try a little harder with Charlie.
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‐ Fine!
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00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,317
Wow.
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00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:56,862
I can totally feel us growing right now.
I think I finally even made good coffee.
94
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,287
Mm‐hmm!
95
00:04:06,330 --> 00:04:09,082
‐ So, how do I make Charlie friends?
96
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,877
Oh! I've got it.
97
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,755
Step one,
I make him a Grindr account.
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00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:16,298
Step two, the guy shows up.
99
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,300
Step three, I lock the door...
100
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,386
‐ Or we could invite those guys
we hung out with last weekend
101
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,264
to come out with us. I feel like
Charlie really hit it off with them
102
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,807
playing Drunk Face Jenga.
103
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,018
You have to have this.
You have this.
104
00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:33,190
‐ Oh my god!
This is the best night of my life!
105
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:37,069
‐ Soph, I don't think either
of those guys are on Grindr.
106
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:39,279
‐ No! No Grindr!
107
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,240
I'm DM‐ing Jesse.
108
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,533
‐ Yeah. I think White Dove
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00:04:42,533 --> 00:04:44,743
is going to pop way more
than Moonlight White.
110
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:47,704
‐ Yeah. This will definitely be
what packs them into your bar.
111
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Everyone's going to be like,
"Hey, you got to check out Pemberton's.
112
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:53,585
The upper walls are crisp AF!"
113
00:04:53,585 --> 00:04:57,214
‐ All I want is some regulars coming in
and ordering the usual, you know?
114
00:04:57,214 --> 00:04:59,842
Like when I bought this place,
I really thought I could spruce it up,
115
00:04:59,842 --> 00:05:02,094
make it the perfect blend
of classic New York
116
00:05:02,094 --> 00:05:03,136
and little titty!
117
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,346
‐ What?
‐ Oh,
118
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:07,474
Jasper taught me some cool new slang
the NYU kids are saying.
119
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,768
‐ Yeah, it's, uh, "litty titty," boss.
120
00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,813
God, he's cool!
121
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‐ Oh. I just got a DM
from Sophie from last weekend.
122
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:19,570
Ooh!
123
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:22,781
‐ Sophie likes Jesse!
‐ Does not.
124
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:25,492
She's asking if we all want
to go to some club tonight.
125
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,370
I'll just tell her that
we always spend Saturdays here,
126
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,163
and that I hate clubs.
‐ Huh? Hey...
127
00:05:30,873 --> 00:05:33,000
‐ What?
‐ What are you doing?
128
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,710
A hot, cool woman
just asked you on a date.
129
00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:37,045
You're really going to respond with
"I hate clubs"?
130
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:38,463
‐ She didn't ask me on a date.
131
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,257
She asked if we wanted
to hang out.
132
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:41,884
And just last week,
I drove her to the airport,
133
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:44,428
so she could tell another guy
that she loved him.
134
00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:46,430
‐ Yeah, that was last week.
And this is this week,
135
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:48,849
and, clearly, she's looking
for a hot rebound thang.
136
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,476
Ellen, you're a woman.
Tell your brother what's up.
137
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:54,438
‐ I don't know if being
a woman qualifies me
138
00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:57,441
to decipher the DMs
of an erratic straight lady,
139
00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,276
but if I had to,
140
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,278
yeah. She's simping.
141
00:06:02,321 --> 00:06:03,864
Jasper. Huh?
142
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:04,865
‐ Bet.
143
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,159
‐ You really think so?
144
00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:09,620
‐ I do.
And I'm not just saying that
145
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,414
because I'm dying for my first
big New York night out.
146
00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,125
Come on, Jesse!
147
00:06:15,125 --> 00:06:17,711
I want to get dressed up
in a cool jumpsuit
148
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,880
and pay too much for a cocktail,
149
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:23,175
and then spill the overpriced cocktail
all over my cool jumpsuit
150
00:06:23,175 --> 00:06:26,345
because some club asshole
didn't look where he was going.
151
00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:27,721
Then be like, "Watch it!"
152
00:06:27,721 --> 00:06:30,015
But, he doesn't hear me
because I mumble,
153
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:32,017
and the sick beats are too loud.
154
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,522
‐ Wow. That was a very specific,
155
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:38,440
very realistic fantasy.
156
00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,651
‐ And maybe, just maybe...
157
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:45,113
I'd like to flirt with a cute girl
who isn't my ex‐wife.
158
00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,574
Come on. Tell her yes.
159
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,785
You got to get back out there sometime.
160
00:06:49,785 --> 00:06:51,787
‐ Yeah, seriously, man.
Ever since Meredith dumped you,
161
00:06:51,787 --> 00:06:53,956
I've been spending
50 bucks a week on Kleenex.
162
00:06:53,956 --> 00:06:56,250
‐ Wait, because you're crying
163
00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:57,835
or because you're
going to town on yourself?
164
00:06:57,835 --> 00:06:59,586
‐ What? Ew! Crying!
165
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:00,671
‐ Bro...
166
00:07:00,671 --> 00:07:02,297
‐ Crying!
‐ Bro...
167
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:03,841
‐ Both.
168
00:07:04,508 --> 00:07:07,302
♪
169
00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:08,762
Ooh! So exciting.
170
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:11,306
My first traditional
American friend setup.
171
00:07:11,306 --> 00:07:14,268
‐ Your what?
‐ I told him that was a thing. Be cool.
172
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:16,311
‐ Ooh! Almost forgot
to put my cufflinks in.
173
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:18,605
Busted out the rubies to impress the boys.
174
00:07:18,605 --> 00:07:21,859
‐ Oh! Charlie, come here. Look at me.
175
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,529
Sid and Jesse don't wear cufflinks.
176
00:07:25,529 --> 00:07:28,365
They're just two regular New York guys.
177
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,242
And if you want them to like you,
178
00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:32,995
you're just going to have
to be a little more...
179
00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:35,205
of the people. Okay?
180
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,541
Of course. No problem.
181
00:07:37,541 --> 00:07:39,877
I totally know how to do that.
182
00:07:39,877 --> 00:07:40,878
‐ Great.
183
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,840
‐ My cuffs are going to be
flapping all over the place.
184
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,466
‐ Oh! Hey!
‐ Hey!
185
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:48,886
‐ Cool shirt.
186
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:51,346
‐ Oh, this old thing? Thanks.
187
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:52,890
‐ Alright!
188
00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:55,893
But just when I was ready
for a night of living in the moment...
189
00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,478
♪
190
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,272
‐ Son of a bitch.
191
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:07,446
‐ "My ship's deckhand
has strong Momoa vibes."
192
00:08:07,446 --> 00:08:09,239
‐ Ian texted you that?
193
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:10,699
‐ Son of a bitch!
‐ Right?
194
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:14,453
Ian and I have this inside joke
where we sneak selfies
195
00:08:14,453 --> 00:08:16,205
and text them to each other
when we see someone
196
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:17,956
who looks like Jason Momoa.
197
00:08:17,956 --> 00:08:20,125
There was Jason Mimosa,
198
00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,794
Jason Somosa,
199
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:25,631
Jason with Boa.
200
00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:27,633
The last one was a stretch,
but I felt the pressure to text
201
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:29,843
because he'd sent, like, three in a row.
202
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,845
‐ Yeah, I'm so glad I'm engaged.
203
00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:36,099
‐ Ian should know that the moment
he rejected an LDR with Sophie,
204
00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:39,228
he lost inside joke texting privileges.
Sending this pic?
205
00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:42,231
Classic "have your cake and eat it, too."
206
00:08:42,231 --> 00:08:43,941
‐ I actually hate cake.
207
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,361
Too hoity‐toity.
208
00:08:47,361 --> 00:08:49,112
I'm more of a bread guy.
209
00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,323
Plain old bread that I rip up
210
00:08:51,323 --> 00:08:54,952
with my rough... calloused hands.
211
00:08:56,078 --> 00:08:58,205
‐ Oh yeah. Yeah, b‐bread's cool.
212
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:00,666
This is so messed up.
213
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:03,836
I refuse to spend another second
thinking about Ian.
214
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,465
I'm just going to write back
something super witty and charming,
215
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:10,342
just so he realizes what he's missing.
216
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,595
Okay! Okay, fine.
217
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:15,180
‐ Next!
218
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:18,100
No photos allowed inside of FOMO.
219
00:09:18,100 --> 00:09:19,977
Please put these stickers on your cameras.
220
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,104
‐ I really don't think Sophie's into me.
221
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:24,022
She's clearly still hung up
on that Ian guy.
222
00:09:24,022 --> 00:09:25,691
‐ Nah, I don't think so.
223
00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:27,943
She just got a little rattled
by his text is all.
224
00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:31,071
‐ Give me the best table you got, okay?
Tonight's a setup,
225
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:34,199
and I'm gonna need it to be
as fun as humanly possible.
226
00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:38,203
‐ This is a trial‐size vitamin C
brightening serum.
227
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:42,207
‐ Take care of us, and mama's got more
where that came from, daddio.
228
00:09:43,250 --> 00:09:45,586
‐ Did you hear that? Tonight's a setup.
229
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:47,713
Valentina's trying to help her girl
230
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:48,964
get with my boy.
231
00:09:49,548 --> 00:09:51,258
‐ Sophie did say my shirt was cool.
232
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,468
‐ She compliments the shirt
to get into the pants.
233
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:56,555
This is going to be the worst place ever.
234
00:09:56,555 --> 00:09:58,182
This is the best place ever!
235
00:09:58,182 --> 00:10:00,434
I wanted to hate the nostalgic candy room.
236
00:10:00,434 --> 00:10:02,352
Mm‐mmm! Look at me now!
237
00:10:02,352 --> 00:10:05,105
♪ club music ♪
238
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,316
‐ Is that girl making eyes at me,
239
00:10:07,316 --> 00:10:09,234
or is she trying to blink
something out of her eye?
240
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:13,238
‐ Woo‐woo!
To a night of bonding with new friends!
241
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,616
And being in the moment.
242
00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:17,826
Especially you guys, the three musketeers.
243
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:19,912
‐ The three who?
244
00:10:19,912 --> 00:10:23,498
What is that, some sort of
fancy pants literary reference?
245
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:24,791
I'm not much of a reader, you know.
246
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:28,587
Just give me the big game
and a cold can of "puh‐buh‐ruh."
247
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:30,714
‐ What? What's "puh‐buh‐ruh"?
248
00:10:32,216 --> 00:10:34,092
‐ Oh, it's that cheap beer
249
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:36,887
that we regular men... love.
250
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:38,138
‐ Do you mean PBR?
251
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,767
‐ Is that how it's pronounced? As PBR?
252
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,769
Oh, this is a disaster.
253
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,688
We just locked eyes again.
254
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:48,482
Okay, I'm going to go ask
to buy her a drink.
255
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:52,653
Oh!
256
00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:53,904
‐ I'm good!
257
00:10:55,531 --> 00:10:57,533
♪ club music continues ♪
258
00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:06,458
‐ So this is pretty great, huh?
259
00:11:06,458 --> 00:11:08,460
If you told 8‐year‐old me
that I'd be at a club
260
00:11:08,460 --> 00:11:11,088
with a hula hoop room,
I'd have totally lost my shit.
261
00:11:11,922 --> 00:11:12,965
‐ Really?
‐ Yeah.
262
00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:14,800
No, I was really into
hula hooping growing up.
263
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,219
My mom said I had the loosest
hips in Cincinnati.
264
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:19,638
Which I'm now realizing
is a very disturbing thing
265
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,223
to say to a young child.
266
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,434
Um...
267
00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,521
Do‐do you want to go to the,
uh, candle room for a drink?
268
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:30,357
‐ And that's when I realized
that there was
269
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,901
a totally sweet, interested guy
270
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:34,570
right in front of me.
271
00:11:35,279 --> 00:11:36,822
‐ Yeah.
272
00:11:36,822 --> 00:11:38,657
Yeah. I do.
273
00:11:38,657 --> 00:11:41,201
‐ Cool. Uh, okay,
I'll get drinks. I'll meet you there.
274
00:11:46,290 --> 00:11:49,293
But then, I spotted him, right there,
275
00:11:49,293 --> 00:11:50,878
in the middle of FOMO.
276
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,005
The ultimate Momoa‐lookalike.
277
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,592
‐ FOMO‐Moa.
278
00:11:56,592 --> 00:12:00,053
♪ classical music ♪
279
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,014
‐ Hey! H‐how's it going
with Eye Contact Girl?
280
00:12:02,014 --> 00:12:04,224
‐ Oh, I moved on to No Bra Bethany!
281
00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:07,227
She's really nice.
282
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:10,814
It was like the universe
283
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,775
was testing my willpower
to stay in the moment,
284
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:16,570
and I was immediately failing that test.
285
00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,946
I had to get a picture.
286
00:12:17,946 --> 00:12:19,656
‐ Hey!
287
00:12:19,656 --> 00:12:22,576
You're taking a picture
of that Momoa for Ian.
288
00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,037
‐ I wanna send him a stupid text
to make him laugh.
289
00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:26,663
So then, he'll write me back
and make me laugh.
290
00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:28,290
And if that's immature, I just don't care!
291
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:31,585
‐ Well, if you get to text Ian,
then I get to break up with Charlie.
292
00:12:31,585 --> 00:12:33,837
‐ Fine! I say, do it.
293
00:12:33,837 --> 00:12:36,298
Screw being mature.
Alright? We're young!
294
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,592
We can still make
bad choices for a few more years.
295
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,678
‐ Yes! That's how we'll learn
the lessons we need to become
296
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:44,515
super‐wise dick‐crushing old people
like Jane Fonda.
297
00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:45,682
‐ Exactly!
298
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,060
Good talk.
‐ Yep. Love you.
299
00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,311
‐ Love you.
‐ Bye.
300
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:51,855
‐ Alright.
301
00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:54,733
I got ya.
302
00:12:55,651 --> 00:12:57,402
Hey!
303
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:59,154
No photos at FOMO!
304
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:02,199
Especially here at FOMO Soho.
At FOMO Noho,
305
00:13:02,199 --> 00:13:04,409
you want a photo? Sure! YOLO!
306
00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:08,080
But at Soho FOMO, photos are no‐no.
You gotta go, yo!
307
00:13:12,584 --> 00:13:14,086
♪ club music ♪
308
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:16,755
‐ So, what's your favorite
entry‐level sedan?
309
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:21,343
‐ Have you guys seen Sophie anywhere?
‐ Uh, no.
310
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:24,596
‐ Well, if this is a setup,
it's the worst setup I've ever been on.
311
00:13:24,596 --> 00:13:27,057
‐ This is a setup between
Jesse and Sophie, too?
312
00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,976
‐ Uh, what do you mean "too"?
313
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:31,937
‐ Well, Valentina's setting
the three of us up tonight,
314
00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,231
on a traditional
American friends setup.
315
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,400
‐ Charlie!
316
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:39,194
We need to talk.
‐ Hey, uh, quick Q.
317
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:42,447
Is tonight a setup between Charlie
and us or Jesse and Sophie?
318
00:13:42,447 --> 00:13:44,700
‐ Charlie and you guys.
Sophie isn't ready for a setup.
319
00:13:44,700 --> 00:13:46,201
She's still totally obsessed with Ian.
320
00:13:46,201 --> 00:13:47,995
Oh no.
321
00:13:48,871 --> 00:13:50,998
Did you think tonight
was about you and Sophie?
322
00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:53,375
‐ You know, I really,
really didn't, but...
323
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,211
someone convinced me it was.
324
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,131
‐ I'm sorry, man.
325
00:13:59,131 --> 00:14:01,175
Let's just go back to my bar, okay?
326
00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,677
With its lackluster drinks
and zero activities.
327
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,180
Hey! Maybe Jasper will hang out with us.
328
00:14:06,180 --> 00:14:08,724
♪ club music ♪
329
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,726
Your sister's got game.
330
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:13,770
‐ Be honest with me.
331
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,982
Is a traditional American friend setup
even a thing?
332
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:19,276
‐ No, it's not.
333
00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:22,112
I thought maybe if you had
your own crew to hang out with,
334
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,822
I would feel less smothered.
335
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,074
‐ You feel smothered?
336
00:14:26,825 --> 00:14:29,161
But I'm always the little spoon.
337
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:32,247
‐ You're great, Charlie,
but you're just...
338
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,666
always there,
and it‐it's just too much for me.
339
00:14:34,666 --> 00:14:36,668
I think we should go our separate ways.
340
00:14:36,668 --> 00:14:39,004
‐ Well, why didn't you just tell me
that you needed space?
341
00:14:39,004 --> 00:14:41,215
That's why you sent me
to Jersey for the bagels. Okay.
342
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:42,841
Wow.
343
00:14:42,841 --> 00:14:45,219
If this is how you deal
with the tiniest little wrinkle,
344
00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:46,470
then I agree.
345
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:48,388
We should end things.
346
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,523
Can't believe I lucky charmed you
twice this morning.
347
00:14:58,357 --> 00:15:02,194
‐ I crunched your captain twice, too!
It was an even trade!
348
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:05,531
♪ Tell me... ♪
349
00:15:05,531 --> 00:15:08,909
♪ Did you sail across the sun? ♪
350
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,787
♪ Did you make it to the Milky Way ♪
351
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:14,873
♪ To see the lights all faded ♪
352
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:18,043
♪ And that Heaven is overrated ♪
353
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:19,795
♪ muffled club music ♪
354
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:23,298
‐ I got kicked out of FOMO.
‐ I broke up with Charlie.
355
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:25,592
‐ How did he take it?
356
00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,512
‐ He said I should have just
told him I needed some space.
357
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,849
‐ Funny. I never thought of that.
358
00:15:31,849 --> 00:15:34,142
‐ I thought of it.
I just didn't wanna do it
359
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:37,020
'cause if you tell a guy
what you need, and he does it,
360
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,523
then when he tells you what
he needs, you have to do it.
361
00:15:40,315 --> 00:15:43,652
And I don't want to do that.
I only want to do exactly what I want
362
00:15:43,652 --> 00:15:45,904
when I want, how I want.
363
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,991
‐ And now, you can.
364
00:15:49,783 --> 00:15:52,202
‐ Did Ian like your Momoa pic?
365
00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,162
‐ I haven't sent it.
366
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:57,040
I can't decide if I'm going to.
‐ Mm.
367
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:59,126
You know,
368
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:02,004
Jesse thought you invited everyone out
tonight because you were into him.
369
00:16:02,004 --> 00:16:04,673
‐ Oh my god, I left him waiting
for me in the candle room!
370
00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:06,967
And his shirt looked very flammable.
371
00:16:06,967 --> 00:16:08,385
‐ Don't worry, he got out.
372
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:10,721
All the guys left.
373
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:13,724
‐ Looks like you two
are having a good night.
374
00:16:13,724 --> 00:16:15,350
‐ Who hurt you!?
375
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,685
♪
376
00:16:20,731 --> 00:16:23,066
‐ Gin martini with a twist.
‐ Thanks.
377
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,527
♪ quiet music ♪
378
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,112
Mm.
379
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:29,406
And thanks for giving me another chance.
380
00:16:29,406 --> 00:16:30,616
Mates.
381
00:16:30,616 --> 00:16:32,951
I swear when I'm allowed
to be my normal fancy self,
382
00:16:32,951 --> 00:16:34,536
I'm an absolute bloody delight.
383
00:16:35,871 --> 00:16:37,998
‐ Those cufflinks are gorgeous.
384
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,128
Thank you.
385
00:16:44,713 --> 00:16:47,424
By the way, I noticed how crisp
your upper walls look.
386
00:16:48,133 --> 00:16:49,551
Is it White Dove?
387
00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:53,347
‐ Yeah. Yeah, it is.
388
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:55,682
‐ Hey.
389
00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,100
Come here, we need to talk.
390
00:17:01,897 --> 00:17:03,190
Ooh...
391
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:05,651
‐ Here. It's from Essa Bagel.
392
00:17:05,651 --> 00:17:07,277
Best bagels in the city.
393
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:09,530
It's where I should have
sent you instead of Jersey.
394
00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:12,699
‐ Well, I mean,
how different can they be?
395
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:18,455
Oh my god, those Jersey bagels
are just little shit circles, aren't they?
396
00:17:19,331 --> 00:17:20,624
‐ You were right.
397
00:17:20,624 --> 00:17:22,584
I should have just told you
that I needed some space.
398
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:24,878
I'm... really sorry.
399
00:17:27,965 --> 00:17:29,800
‐ This isn't going to work.
400
00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,344
‐ Oh.
401
00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:34,972
‐ You know, living together,
it's... it's too much.
402
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,933
So, I am going to move out.
403
00:17:38,684 --> 00:17:40,018
‐ Oh.
404
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:44,022
‐ Then, I would like
to take you on a first date.
405
00:17:45,566 --> 00:17:46,859
‐ Oh?
406
00:17:46,859 --> 00:17:49,069
‐ We never really had one of those.
407
00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:51,488
We do need to take a step back and...
408
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:53,824
start at the beginning.
409
00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:55,826
‐ I'd love that.
410
00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,663
‐ So, seeing as how
we're easing into things,
411
00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:01,707
we probably shouldn't go
and have sex in the storage closet.
412
00:18:01,707 --> 00:18:03,750
Bring the bagel.
413
00:18:08,547 --> 00:18:11,175
‐ Hey! How you guys doing? Don't care!
414
00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:15,679
I just had the best night of my life!
415
00:18:15,679 --> 00:18:17,514
‐ Somebody get lucky at Club FOMO?
416
00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:18,891
‐ No!
417
00:18:19,433 --> 00:18:22,144
‐ I was rejected constantly.
‐ Hi! I'm Ellen...
418
00:18:23,312 --> 00:18:26,023
I got way too drunk way too fast,
419
00:18:26,023 --> 00:18:28,942
and struck out many, many times.
420
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,652
Cheers.
421
00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:34,489
‐ So, why are you so happy?
422
00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:37,826
‐ Because even though five... No, wait.
423
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,453
Six!
424
00:18:39,453 --> 00:18:42,122
Six women didn't want
to give me their numbers,
425
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:45,292
there are so many more out there
waiting for me.
426
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:48,086
- New York rules!
- Woo!
427
00:18:48,086 --> 00:18:49,546
‐ I'll drink to that!
428
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:53,050
Just play, damn it.
429
00:18:53,050 --> 00:18:55,302
Really need this right now.
430
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:57,012
Why does everything in the world hate me?
431
00:18:57,638 --> 00:18:58,639
‐ Hey.
‐ Hey.
432
00:18:58,639 --> 00:18:59,973
Hey!
433
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,100
Just... playing a song.
434
00:19:02,100 --> 00:19:04,478
No big thang.
435
00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:09,566
‐ I hope this doesn't
make you feel too uncomfortable,
436
00:19:09,566 --> 00:19:11,944
but I know that
you thought tonight was a setup.
437
00:19:12,611 --> 00:19:16,031
I'm extremely uncomfortable,
but go ahead.
438
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,743
‐ I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.
439
00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:22,079
And for standing you up
in the candle room earlier.
440
00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:25,541
‐ It's fine. I mean, it stung for a sec,
but nothing a quick spin
441
00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:28,460
in the old hula hoop room
couldn't fix.
442
00:19:33,006 --> 00:19:34,424
‐ Jesse...
443
00:19:35,676 --> 00:19:37,094
I'm a mess right now.
444
00:19:38,053 --> 00:19:40,556
And I know that you've been
through a lot with your ex,
445
00:19:41,682 --> 00:19:44,351
and that dating in the city
can make you feel...
446
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:47,020
hopeless and alone and like
you will never find someone
447
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:50,148
who realizes how amazing you are.
448
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:53,861
And... I don't want to be one of
those people who make you feel like that.
449
00:19:55,821 --> 00:19:57,322
Because I actually can see it.
450
00:20:00,534 --> 00:20:02,536
I'm a mess, too.
451
00:20:02,536 --> 00:20:04,246
I mean, it literally took all of my energy
452
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:06,623
just to put this stupid shirt on
and leave the house tonight,
453
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,625
and being in that...
454
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:11,378
horrible club just made me
miss staying home
455
00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:13,088
and watching Love Island with Meredith.
456
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:15,299
Even though Meredith is a terrible person
457
00:20:15,299 --> 00:20:16,967
who publicly rejected my proposal
458
00:20:16,967 --> 00:20:18,635
and took my cat in our breakup.
459
00:20:18,635 --> 00:20:20,554
‐ Oh! She got the cat?
460
00:20:20,554 --> 00:20:22,723
‐ No, not the cat. My cat.
461
00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:25,184
My 11‐year‐old cat
that I rescued from a shelter,
462
00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:28,187
and named Girl so that
I could call her Jesse's Girl.
463
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:30,772
‐ Oh my god...
464
00:20:33,358 --> 00:20:35,569
And now you wish
that you had Jesse's Girl.
465
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,573
‐ Like I said, I'm a mess, too.
466
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,744
‐ Well, maybe we could
be friends that are messes
467
00:20:43,744 --> 00:20:45,829
instead of two messes who try to date
468
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:49,374
because that would just
inevitably be... a mess.
469
00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:53,420
‐ Yeah, that sounds like
a really good plan.
470
00:20:55,339 --> 00:20:57,799
Oh! Hello, everyone.
471
00:21:01,929 --> 00:21:03,597
‐ Why are you covered in poppy seeds?
472
00:21:03,597 --> 00:21:04,973
‐ Don't worry about it.
473
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,144
‐ I'll have another drink, please.
Just the usual.
474
00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:11,480
‐ Gin martini with a twist
coming right up.
475
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:15,984
He has a usual! Jasper.
476
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:18,403
Jasper... He has a usual.
477
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:20,197
‐ Yo, that's fire, man.
478
00:21:20,197 --> 00:21:22,366
Yo, I need, uh, next Saturday off.
479
00:21:23,033 --> 00:21:25,327
Um, also, right now, I'm leaving early.
480
00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:27,829
‐ Hey, buh‐buh‐buh! You got it, buddy.
Get out of here.
481
00:21:27,829 --> 00:21:29,998
♪ Drops of Jupiter playing ♪
482
00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:31,458
‐ Is this...
‐ Yes.
483
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:34,378
Drops of Jupiter.
I‐I know it's kind of cheesy,
484
00:21:34,378 --> 00:21:37,381
but it's just...
sort of my comfort song.
485
00:21:37,381 --> 00:21:41,051
♪ With drops of Jupiter in her hair ♪
486
00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:45,973
It was hard to live
in the moment in 2022.
487
00:21:45,973 --> 00:21:49,059
There was always someplace
else you could be,
488
00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:50,811
someone else you could be with.
489
00:21:50,811 --> 00:21:52,980
But every once in a while,
490
00:21:52,980 --> 00:21:55,649
you found yourself in
the exact right spot.
491
00:21:56,817 --> 00:21:59,695
And you had that rarest of moments
492
00:21:59,695 --> 00:22:03,574
where you had absolutely no FOMO,
493
00:22:03,574 --> 00:22:07,160
and you could just... be.
494
00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,580
♪ Hey... yeah ♪
495
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:11,832
♪ But tell me ♪
496
00:22:11,832 --> 00:22:14,793
♪ Did you sail across the sun? ♪
497
00:22:14,793 --> 00:22:17,254
♪ Did you make it to the Milky Way ♪
498
00:22:17,254 --> 00:22:19,965
♪ To see the lights are faded ♪
499
00:22:19,965 --> 00:22:22,676
♪ And that Heaven is overrated? ♪
500
00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:26,388
♪ Tell me, did you fall
from a shooting star? ♪
501
00:22:27,139 --> 00:22:29,266
♪ One without a permanent scar ♪
502
00:22:29,266 --> 00:22:30,851
♪ And did you miss me ♪
503
00:22:30,851 --> 00:22:33,896
♪ While you looking for yourself ♪
504
00:22:33,896 --> 00:22:35,814
♪ Out there? ♪
505
00:22:35,814 --> 00:22:38,817
♪
38074
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