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♪ upbeat theme playing ♪
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♪ Ba‐ba‐ba‐ba,
ba‐ba‐ba‐ba ♪
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00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:12,471
♪ Ba‐ba, da‐da‐da‐da‐da‐da
da‐da‐da ♪
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00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:18,435
♪
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‐ House, call my son.
‐ Lights on.
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‐ It's 2050,
how does this still not work?
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Call. My. Son!
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And turn down the damn lights.
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Hi, Mom.
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‐ Oh, hi, sweetie!
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- Oh, you look tired.
- Okay, thanks for calling.
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‐ Are you busy?
‐ Not really. Just finished studying.
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Good 'cause I wanna tell you
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the story of how I met your father.
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I already know how you met Dad.
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‐ Ah, you know the basics,
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00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:54,137
but it's time for me to tell you
the unabridged version.
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How many glasses
of that wine have you had?
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‐ Just enough to include the sexy bits.
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Oh good god, here we go.
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‐ Now, like a lot of
love stories back in 2022,
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this one starts with a Tinder date.
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‐ Excuse me.
24
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Actually, it starts with me
being late to a Tinder date.
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Don't hit me! Don't hit me!
26
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‐ Uh, Sophie?
‐ Yeah!
27
00:01:16,201 --> 00:01:17,911
‐ Hey, I'm Jesse.
This is my best friend Sid.
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Don't mind him, he's just hitching a ride.
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‐ Oh! Ask me why I'm hitching a ride.
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Come on! Ask me!
‐ Uh, w‐why are you hitching a ride, Sid?
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I'm proposing to my girlfriend tonight.
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Wow, girlfriend! Not gonna be
saying that much longer!
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Someone's gonna be nothing but fiancée!
34
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:36,305
Fiancée! Fiancée! Fiancée!
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00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:39,057
‐ Sophie, be a dear and choke me out
with this charging cord, would you?
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‐ Ooh, actually, can I use it
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'cause my phone's belly is hungry.
She's all,
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"Feed me, Mama!"
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Okay, tell me everything.
Who is she?
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‐ Okay, so her name's Hannah.
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She's a surgical resident in LA,
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00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:53,322
so we've been doing
the long‐distance thing
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while I'm here
running my bar, Pemberton's.
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‐ Uh, look at you,
locking down a surgeon!
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00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:59,036
How you gonna ask her?
46
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:01,371
‐ So, she thinks we're gonna go
see Beyoncé tonight,
47
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:04,583
but really, I got all our friends
waiting at my bar to surprise her.
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00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:08,587
‐ You think she's gonna be a little bummed
that you're not actually seeing Beyoncé?
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‐ I keep telling him
she's gonna be bummed.
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‐ Okay, a lifetime with me
is better than Beyoncé.
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00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:14,510
‐ Sure.
‐ Hm...
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So, uh, what about you, Sophie?
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00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,347
What's going on at the Rosewood bar?
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‐ Okay, uh,
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I know this might sound crazy,
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00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,937
but I think I've found the man
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that I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life with.
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‐ Hm.
‐ Yeah.
59
00:02:28,273 --> 00:02:31,235
Only thing is he's from Tinder, and we
haven't actually met in real life yet.
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00:02:31,235 --> 00:02:33,612
‐ Oh, very You've Got Mail.
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00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:37,157
‐ More like you've got unrealistic
expectations for this date.
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‐ Okay, I‐I know how this sounds,
63
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:42,079
but I am not some wide‐eyed dope
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who thinks she's found true love
every time some douchey ibanker
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swipes right and texts, "'Sup?"
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My last Tinder date was the worst one yet.
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The guy showed up 20 minutes late.
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‐ Sophie? Sorry, I'm late.
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‐ Oh. That's okay.
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00:02:57,553 --> 00:02:58,720
Subway delay?
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00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,764
‐ Uh, no, actually, I was, uh...
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00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,641
I was on another date
before this, and, uh,
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let's just say it went well.
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Like, uh...
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Like really well.
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Like, I just had sex.
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‐ He told you that?!
‐ Why would he tell you that?!
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‐ That's not even the worst part.
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He actually thought that telling me
he just had sex was charming.
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He thought I'd just laugh
and smile and say,
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"That's so crazy!" Because,
God forbid, a woman in this city
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actually expects anything from a guy,
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00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:28,166
even if it's just the basic
decency to not tell her
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he just had sexual intercourse
with someone else!
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00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:32,421
What is wrong with everyone?!
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00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,717
And right there, outside that bar,
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I decided to quit Tinder.
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But when I went to deactivate
my account...
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I matched with Ian.
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00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:46,685
‐ You matched with Ian?!
She matched with Ian.
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00:03:46,685 --> 00:03:48,020
‐ Yeah.
‐ It started with
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00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:51,899
your typical flirty banter,
you know, just getting to know you stuff.
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00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,526
Who was your first celebrity crush?
94
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,404
Tia Mowry. You?
95
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,198
Buzz Lightyear.
96
00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:02,492
Oh, an astronaut made of plastic...
97
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,827
Freaky!
98
00:04:05,287 --> 00:04:07,956
‐ And then we started to
actually get to know each other.
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00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:10,375
What kind of photography do you do?
100
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,794
Right now,
I shoot stuff like birthday parties
101
00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:14,838
and engagement photos to pay the rent,
102
00:04:14,838 --> 00:04:17,508
but my heart
is in street photography.
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00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:18,967
That's when you sneak up on a stranger,
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00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:21,887
take their picture, and then run away
before they punch you, right?
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00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:24,264
That's exactly right.
106
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:26,308
- What do you do?
- I know this sounds made up,
107
00:04:26,308 --> 00:04:28,727
but I'm a marine biologist.
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That is 100% made up.
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‐ And before long,
we were texting all day.
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All night, too.
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00:04:36,235 --> 00:04:38,570
- First kiss?
- Mabel Greyhound, seventh grade.
112
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,614
- You cook?
- One of my favorite hobbies.
113
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I've been thinkin' about you all day.
114
00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,830
‐ Oh my god, Ian,
ask a girl out already!
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00:04:48,830 --> 00:04:51,583
‐ I was thinking the exact same thing!
116
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:54,878
So, are you ever gonna ask me
to meet you in real life?
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00:04:54,878 --> 00:04:56,338
I'd love to,
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00:04:56,338 --> 00:04:59,758
but I'm in Australia for work
for the next two weeks.
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00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:02,135
‐ So, we made plans to meet up
when he got back,
120
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:04,054
and that brings us to tonight,
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00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:06,431
and my last first date ever.
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00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:08,433
‐ Wow, that's romantic as hell.
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‐ I know, right?
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00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,563
What does the killjoy think?
‐ Hey!
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00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:15,190
Look, I got a real good
feeling about this Ian guy.
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00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,734
No, no. I can't do it.
127
00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,611
No, the truth is the chances of this guy
128
00:05:19,611 --> 00:05:21,697
being your soul mate are lower than low.
129
00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:24,074
I mean, there's a better chance of you
giving me a five‐star review
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00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:26,076
after this rude assessment I'm making.
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00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,204
Speaking of which,
don't forget your phone.
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‐ Ah. Thanks.
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00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:33,166
Uh, happy proposing.
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00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:34,251
Thank you.
135
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,843
‐ What?
‐ Ooh... You liked her.
136
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:43,802
‐ Did not.
137
00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:44,970
‐ Did, too.
‐ Did not!
138
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,972
‐ Did not.
‐ Did, too‐‐ Dammit.
139
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:53,437
♪ quiet music ♪
140
00:05:54,146 --> 00:05:55,439
‐ Ian?
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00:05:55,439 --> 00:05:56,648
‐ Sophie!
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00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:58,108
Hi.
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00:05:58,108 --> 00:05:59,193
‐ Hi.
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00:05:59,735 --> 00:06:03,322
‐ And thus began the best first date
I'd ever been on.
145
00:06:03,322 --> 00:06:06,658
A date so good, you don't
even check your phone.
146
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,493
‐ Whoa.
‐ I know.
147
00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:13,957
‐ You know, we should go see
that new movie next week
148
00:06:13,957 --> 00:06:16,752
where walking Joaquin Phoenix
plays Amelia Earhart.
149
00:06:16,752 --> 00:06:18,545
And then it happened.
150
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:20,130
♪ quiet music ♪
151
00:06:20,130 --> 00:06:21,089
‐ What?
152
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:23,842
‐ Okay, so...
153
00:06:23,842 --> 00:06:25,219
Sophie, the thing is...
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00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:27,679
I'm moving to Australia.
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00:06:29,515 --> 00:06:30,933
‐ You just got back from there.
156
00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:32,309
‐ I know.
157
00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,228
It was only supposed
to be a research trip,
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00:06:34,228 --> 00:06:37,105
but right before I left,
they offered me a full‐time job
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00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,608
on a team that's helping
endangered coral reef procreate.
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00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,362
‐ Can't you just...
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00:06:43,362 --> 00:06:45,781
light a candle
and put on some soft rock?
162
00:06:45,781 --> 00:06:47,658
I mean, that always works for me.
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00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:52,704
When are you leaving?
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00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:55,249
‐ Tonight.
165
00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:57,000
‐ Tonight.
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00:06:57,501 --> 00:07:00,546
‐ I only came back to New York
to pack and sublet my place.
167
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:03,340
I know I should have
told you this sooner.
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00:07:03,340 --> 00:07:05,050
I was just afraid
that you wouldn't come,
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00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,301
and...
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00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:09,471
I had to meet you, Sophie.
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00:07:10,806 --> 00:07:12,474
♪
172
00:07:12,474 --> 00:07:13,725
And so,
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00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:15,894
we decided it would be a bad idea
174
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,938
to start a long‐distance relationship
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00:07:17,938 --> 00:07:20,524
after just a few weeks of texting
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and an amazing first date.
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00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,238
‐ Goodbye, Sophie.
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00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:28,991
‐ Goodbye, Ian.
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00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:32,870
Uh...
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00:07:33,745 --> 00:07:36,373
I kind of wanna kiss you right now.
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00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,334
‐ I kind of want that, too.
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00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:46,133
Uh... I think it's best if we don't.
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00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,386
Maybe someday.
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00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:54,224
‐ Yeah. Someday.
185
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:13,911
‐ I was devastated.
186
00:08:14,745 --> 00:08:17,122
But at least I was coming home
to my bestie,
187
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:18,707
Aunt Valentina!
188
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:21,084
She was just back
from Fashion Week in London.
189
00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,337
Oh! I'm so happy you're home.
190
00:08:23,337 --> 00:08:24,630
I missed you so much.
191
00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:26,173
‐ We don't have time for
"I miss yous!" Dish.
192
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:27,549
How was your date with Ian? Was he tall?
193
00:08:27,549 --> 00:08:29,635
‐ Yes.
‐ Was he a good listener?
194
00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:30,636
‐ Yes.
195
00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:33,138
‐ Were his eyes as kind as his photo?
196
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:34,223
‐ Yes!
197
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:38,310
‐ Why aren't you jumping?
198
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,939
‐ Because he's moving to Australia.
199
00:08:43,941 --> 00:08:46,944
‐ Soph, I am so sorry.
200
00:08:47,653 --> 00:08:49,238
Did you bang one out anyway?
201
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,742
‐ Oh, at least I still have you.
202
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,410
You know what? We can just be
203
00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,704
two single New York ladies
doing it for ourselves.
204
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:01,124
We can start a podcast called
"Who Needs Men?"
205
00:09:01,124 --> 00:09:03,961
‐ Ah! Yeah! Uh, about that‐‐
206
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,003
‐ We can workshop the title later.
207
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:07,756
‐ Oh my god!
‐ My god!
208
00:09:07,756 --> 00:09:09,049
A pervert! A pervert!
209
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:11,343
‐ Please don't spray me!
I have an extremely delicate face!
210
00:09:11,343 --> 00:09:14,805
‐ He's not a pervert.
This is Charlie.
211
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:18,058
Okay, he's sort of a pervert,
but in a good way,
212
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:20,102
You must be Sophie.
213
00:09:20,102 --> 00:09:22,145
It's a real pleasure‐‐ Oh my god.
214
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,648
I'll go round up a robe.
215
00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:27,401
‐ Y‐‐ Funny story.
216
00:09:27,401 --> 00:09:30,612
We me at London Fashion Week.
Hit it off...
217
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:32,614
big time.
218
00:09:32,614 --> 00:09:34,324
One thing led to another,
219
00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:37,995
and now he... lives with us.
So, back to you and Ian‐‐
220
00:09:37,995 --> 00:09:40,247
‐ Wait, what?!
‐ I know, this is fast,
221
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,749
but when he told his crazy fancy
222
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,878
"high society" family
that he was heading to New York
223
00:09:45,878 --> 00:09:49,047
to be with a Mexican assistant stylist,
224
00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:51,466
they made some very
outdated Ugly Betty jabs,
225
00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:53,510
and then they cut off his trust fund!
226
00:09:55,179 --> 00:09:56,847
‐ They Meghan Markled you guys.
227
00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:58,223
‐ Although, it's for the best.
228
00:09:58,223 --> 00:09:59,892
I mean, who needs
unlimited wealth and palaces?
229
00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:03,437
I will get by on my charm
and my street smarts.
230
00:10:04,855 --> 00:10:06,940
‐ I can see your penis again.
‐ Oh!
231
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,318
‐ Stay in there, lad.
‐ Hm.
232
00:10:09,318 --> 00:10:10,944
‐ There my undies are!
233
00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,780
That's right. Completely forgot
234
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,033
we started out here
with all the fruit play.
235
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:23,207
‐ You might wanna toss those, too.
236
00:10:23,207 --> 00:10:24,458
‐ These were organic!
237
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:29,755
So, I said I know this is fast,
but I am super into him,
238
00:10:29,755 --> 00:10:32,925
and I decided I am not
gonna let something as irrational
239
00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:34,843
as rational thinking
stand in the way of that.
240
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:36,929
And that's when I realized...
241
00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:39,973
‐ I let rational thinking stand
in the way of me and Ian.
242
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,683
I mean, sure, he's moving
to a different continent,
243
00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:44,728
but, you know, I've got tons of miles.
We can always have Facesex.
244
00:10:44,728 --> 00:10:46,730
‐ Whoa, what is Facesex?
‐ I think she's mixing up
245
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:47,731
Facetime and phone sex.
246
00:10:47,731 --> 00:10:49,525
I'm the cool friend.
247
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,736
‐ I have to tell Ian that
ending things was a mistake.
248
00:10:52,736 --> 00:10:54,530
‐ Yes. Yes!
249
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:57,115
Tell him. Oh, I'd love that for you!
250
00:10:57,115 --> 00:10:58,617
And this is where you say you love
251
00:10:58,617 --> 00:11:01,078
my "British guy moves in with us"
plan for me.
252
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,875
‐ Ah! This isn't my phone.
253
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:10,879
I must've taken the wrong one
when I got out of the Uber!
254
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:13,298
I've gotta get to Pemberton's right now.
255
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,051
‐ Can we come with?
Can't wait to see the real New York.
256
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,219
Can we take a subway?
257
00:11:17,219 --> 00:11:19,805
I've always wanted to see
what the subway's like!
258
00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,807
So, that's what a subway is like.
259
00:11:22,474 --> 00:11:24,726
Does it always smell like that?
260
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,854
‐ No! Sometimes, it's way worse.
261
00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:30,148
One time, I was in a car where one guy
was peeing, one guy was pooping,
262
00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:32,818
and one guy was dead.
‐ Ah, the subway trifecta.
263
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,069
Hope you made a wish.
264
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,618
Surprise!
265
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:44,371
Sophie! You're not Sid.
Why are you not Sid?
266
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:46,540
‐ Because you gave me his phone
instead of mine
267
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,666
when I got out of your car.
268
00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:49,251
‐ Wait, so I've been
tracking you this whole time?
269
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,919
Okay, guys, we do not have eyes on Sid!
270
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,504
Everyone, back to your hiding spots.
271
00:11:52,504 --> 00:11:53,714
‐ Okay, what is Sid's ETA?
272
00:11:53,714 --> 00:11:55,549
‐ Literally any second,
so I really need you to hide.
273
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,843
‐ Good, good, 'cause I'm not sure
what time Ian's flight is,
274
00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,720
but I've gotta talk to him
before the plane takes off.
275
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,221
‐ For the love of god, hide!
276
00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,932
‐ I freeze under pressure!
277
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:05,642
This is why I've been hit
by three Citi Bikes!
278
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:08,270
♪
279
00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:15,402
♪
280
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,279
‐ What are you doing?
281
00:12:17,279 --> 00:12:20,032
‐ Still smelling that train.
It's in my hair.
282
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:22,743
There's a stranger's body odor
trapped in my hair.
283
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:26,496
Um, hello!
284
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,916
‐ Sorry. Didn't see you there.
285
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:32,377
I know. That's why I said, "Um, hello."
286
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,714
I was feeling creepier and creepier
with every second that passed.
287
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,966
I'm Ellen.
I just moved here from Iowa.
288
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:38,926
‐ Mm.
‐ Oh,
289
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:41,595
and I'm Jesse's sister.
Adopted, obviously.
290
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:45,140
‐ I mean, it's not obvious to me.
I have no idea who Jesse is.
291
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:47,518
Have you taken the train yet?
It's an underground freak show.
292
00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:49,811
‐ We get it. You hated the train.
293
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,856
‐ So, what brings you to New York?
294
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:53,857
‐ I'm getting divorced.
295
00:12:53,857 --> 00:12:56,151
‐ Oh...
‐ Oh my god, you poor thing.
296
00:12:56,151 --> 00:12:58,779
‐ Little Crescent, Iowa,
has 600 people in it,
297
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,447
and she was the only other lesbian.
298
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,033
We both knew it had run its course,
299
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:06,203
so I moved to New York to start over,
reconnect with my brother...
300
00:13:07,079 --> 00:13:08,455
and ask out Kate McKinnon.
301
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,666
‐ Whoa! Do you know Kate McKinnon?
302
00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:11,917
‐ No.
303
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:13,752
Do you?
304
00:13:15,587 --> 00:13:18,048
‐ Where the hell are they?
‐ Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Look, look.
305
00:13:18,048 --> 00:13:20,717
Sid is my best friend, okay?
And if he were in charge of my proposal‐‐
306
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,761
Purely hypothetical,
I'm never getting married,
307
00:13:22,761 --> 00:13:24,388
but he would make sure
it was perfect, alright?
308
00:13:24,388 --> 00:13:26,515
So, I can't have your peeking
head ruining his big night.
309
00:13:26,515 --> 00:13:29,017
Alright, alright.
310
00:13:30,352 --> 00:13:31,728
Why are you never getting married?
311
00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:34,231
Uh, I'm never getting married
312
00:13:34,231 --> 00:13:37,276
because the one girl I wanted
to marry broke my heart, okay?
313
00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,862
‐ Wait a second.
‐ No.
314
00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:42,781
‐ I know you.
‐ And here we go.
315
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:45,284
You are the guy from the video!
316
00:13:45,284 --> 00:13:47,411
The video was an unfortunate incident
317
00:13:47,411 --> 00:13:49,496
that had recently gone viral.
318
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,791
‐ Jesse. I'm sorry. I...
‐ She's gonna say no. Oh my god.
319
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,710
‐ What a nightmare.
‐ This poor schmuck.
320
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:57,462
‐ What a loser.
‐ What a disaster.
321
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,759
‐ Now, she's in Europe,
recording her first solo album,
322
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,971
and I'm known all around
the city as Mr. Proposal Fail.
323
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:09,057
You know who liked the video
last week on Twitter? Michelle Obama.
324
00:14:10,434 --> 00:14:13,520
‐ How did you forget
the Beyoncé tickets at the bar?
325
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,272
Surprise!
326
00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:18,275
What's happening?
327
00:14:18,275 --> 00:14:20,277
Hannah...
328
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:23,822
I remember the moment
I fell in love with you.
329
00:14:25,407 --> 00:14:27,743
It was our first year of med school,
330
00:14:27,743 --> 00:14:29,661
and we were dissecting dead bodies,
331
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:31,163
and, um,
332
00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:33,540
you leaned over,
and you said to me, you said,
333
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,542
"Hey, you know how to get to the stomach?
334
00:14:36,585 --> 00:14:38,045
You take the spleen‐ic route."
335
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:41,298
And I thought, oh...
336
00:14:43,675 --> 00:14:44,968
This is the girl for me.
337
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,637
Aww...
338
00:14:47,971 --> 00:14:50,390
Hannah, I believe we can make it
through anything together.
339
00:14:51,099 --> 00:14:54,645
Even if sometimes,
we take the spleen‐ic route.
340
00:14:54,645 --> 00:14:56,647
So...
341
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,861
Hannah...
342
00:15:05,113 --> 00:15:06,156
Will you marry me?
343
00:15:07,115 --> 00:15:08,408
‐ Yes!
344
00:15:10,661 --> 00:15:11,703
Yes!
345
00:15:13,455 --> 00:15:15,791
Oh, I can't believe I'm getting engaged
346
00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:17,876
and seeing Beyoncé!
347
00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:19,503
Oh...
348
00:15:20,045 --> 00:15:22,130
‐ I can't believe I'm getting engaged!
349
00:15:25,217 --> 00:15:28,554
♪ quiet music ♪
350
00:15:28,554 --> 00:15:30,597
‐ Look at that!
A proposal that won't haunt
351
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,182
and traumatize them forever.
352
00:15:32,724 --> 00:15:34,142
Good for him.
353
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:37,396
‐ I love you so much.
‐ I love you more.
354
00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:40,858
‐ And I love hilarious phone mishaps.
355
00:15:42,067 --> 00:15:45,237
We swapped in the Uber.
Mazel tov, by the way.
356
00:15:45,696 --> 00:15:48,323
‐ Uh, here. It's dead,
which feels very on brand for you.
357
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:49,825
Um, I'm sorry.
358
00:15:50,325 --> 00:15:51,368
‐ Mm!
359
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,705
‐ Oh my god.
‐ What?
360
00:15:54,705 --> 00:15:57,541
‐ There were so many men
urinating in there at once.
361
00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:59,543
Just a cacophony of piss.
362
00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:03,881
‐ Wait, now you're
too fancy for stalls?
363
00:16:03,881 --> 00:16:05,883
‐ Darling, I use stalls.
364
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,552
That's where we keep the ponies.
365
00:16:09,595 --> 00:16:11,430
Valentina, I think I've made
a terrible mistake.
366
00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:13,515
I don't think I can live
in this hellscape.
367
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:16,226
‐ This hellscape is my daily life,
368
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:17,644
you prissy royal bitch.
369
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,146
‐ Hey...
370
00:16:21,982 --> 00:16:23,066
Mm!
371
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:25,319
‐ Mm?
‐ Mm! One‐‐ one second.
372
00:16:25,319 --> 00:16:26,737
Alright.
373
00:16:27,446 --> 00:16:28,822
Oh my god.
374
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,533
A lung just became
available for my patient!
375
00:16:31,533 --> 00:16:32,910
Yes! Oh!
376
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:34,786
Honey, oh...
377
00:16:34,786 --> 00:16:37,497
Oh, it's all over your shirt.
‐ It's okay.
378
00:16:38,081 --> 00:16:41,293
‐ Babe, I am so sorry,
but I have to get back to LA.
379
00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:45,380
‐ Hey, hey. Look, my sister's
hanging out with your friends.
380
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,549
She's kind of a loner, so I
really want her to meet people.
381
00:16:49,718 --> 00:16:51,929
‐ Yeah. Seems like
they're really hitting it off.
382
00:16:51,929 --> 00:16:54,056
‐ Mm.
‐ Hey,
383
00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:56,141
as soon as my phone powers on,
I'm out of here,
384
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:58,936
but I wanted to tell you,
you can't give up on love
385
00:16:58,936 --> 00:17:01,647
just because of your proposal fail.
386
00:17:01,647 --> 00:17:03,899
I know that there is
a Brooklyn Bridge girl
387
00:17:03,899 --> 00:17:05,984
out there for you somewhere.
388
00:17:07,778 --> 00:17:09,780
‐ Am I supposed to know what that is?
Because you look like
389
00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:11,490
you practically moved yourself
to tears just now,
390
00:17:11,490 --> 00:17:13,659
but I have no idea
what you're talking about.
391
00:17:14,409 --> 00:17:16,954
‐ It's this thing I made up.
‐ Okay.
392
00:17:16,954 --> 00:17:19,706
‐ See, I've lived in New York
since college,
393
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,084
but I've never walked across
the Brooklyn Bridge,
394
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,961
and after a while,
I waited so long
395
00:17:23,961 --> 00:17:27,172
that I decided I would wait
and walk it with my soulmate.
396
00:17:29,132 --> 00:17:31,718
‐ You're one of those people whose parents
actually stayed married, aren't you?
397
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:33,095
College sweethearts,
398
00:17:33,095 --> 00:17:34,680
married for 30 years sort of thing.
399
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,181
So you're like, if they found each other,
400
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,766
there must be someone
out there for everyone.
401
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:39,643
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right?
402
00:17:40,185 --> 00:17:42,229
Yeah. Something like that.
403
00:17:42,980 --> 00:17:44,439
‐ Must be nice.
404
00:17:44,439 --> 00:17:47,401
Those of us who grew up
in the real world, not so sure.
405
00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:49,945
Looks like your phone's back.
‐ Yes!
406
00:17:51,154 --> 00:17:52,990
Aw.
407
00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:56,118
Ian sent me a pic holding his
boarding pass and looking sad.
408
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:58,662
‐ Aww.
‐ I'm gonna call him.
409
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:01,874
Wait, look.
410
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:04,668
I can see all of his flight info.
411
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,838
‐ Cool. He's got TSA PreCheck.
412
00:18:07,838 --> 00:18:10,090
He would!
413
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,426
I've always talked
about getting that.
414
00:18:12,426 --> 00:18:14,094
But it's like a whole thing.
No, not the point.
415
00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:19,141
I'm going to go to JFK
and tell him that we're meant to be.
416
00:18:19,141 --> 00:18:21,935
‐ Really?
‐ Hey, uh, can I borrow your car?
417
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,854
I need to take Hannah to the airport.
418
00:18:23,854 --> 00:18:26,356
‐ What?
‐ Emergency surgery calls.
419
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:29,276
‐ Seems like the universe wants me
to take everyone to the airport.
420
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:30,944
‐ Alright. Let's go.
‐ Okay. What, are you coming?
421
00:18:30,944 --> 00:18:32,196
‐ I am! Oh!
422
00:18:33,322 --> 00:18:34,698
‐ Wait!
423
00:18:34,698 --> 00:18:36,909
You can't leave me alone with Charlie.
I think I hate him.
424
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:39,953
‐ We live with him.
‐ I know!
425
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:44,958
‐ Valentina, don't abandon me!
I have nowhere to go!
426
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:47,252
I'll need to sell my body to survive!
427
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:52,174
‐ Hey, sis!
Uh, we're all going to the airport.
428
00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:54,134
‐ You forgot me, didn't you?
429
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:56,011
‐ What? Who could for‐‐
430
00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:57,429
Yeah. Completely forgot you. I'm sorry.
431
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:59,973
♪
432
00:19:03,352 --> 00:19:05,646
And so, we all went to JFK
433
00:19:05,646 --> 00:19:08,815
to tell him that I wanted us
to be together.
434
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,067
♪
435
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:11,568
‐ There he is.
436
00:19:12,903 --> 00:19:15,572
‐ Oh god, don't let this be
the next Proposal Fail.
437
00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:17,449
Wait! Aren't you‐‐
438
00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:20,702
‐ It's actually Mr. Proposal Fail,
but yes.
439
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:22,704
‐ Ian!
440
00:19:23,956 --> 00:19:26,124
‐ Sophie? What are you‐‐
441
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:28,001
‐ I've been on 87 Tinder dates this year.
442
00:19:28,001 --> 00:19:30,379
Okay, all of them were duds.
443
00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:33,465
Just to be clear, I don't do,
like, sexy stuff with all the guys.
444
00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:36,718
A lot of the times, I just have
a white wine and talk.
445
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:39,012
I also want to be clear
that I am not judging anyone
446
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,472
who does hook up on every date.
447
00:19:40,472 --> 00:19:42,474
It's just not my style.
But if it's someone else's,
448
00:19:42,474 --> 00:19:44,268
that's her business,
and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
449
00:19:44,268 --> 00:19:46,228
‐ This is getting away from her.
450
00:19:47,271 --> 00:19:49,982
‐ Look, what I'm trying to say is that
451
00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:51,859
we live in confusing times,
452
00:19:51,859 --> 00:19:54,194
where it's really hard to meet someone
453
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,363
and‐and‐and connect and have it feel...
454
00:19:57,698 --> 00:19:58,740
Easy.
455
00:19:59,408 --> 00:20:02,160
And tonight, it felt easy.
456
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,621
Other than the Australia thing,
457
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:07,332
which feels insurmountably hard,
458
00:20:07,332 --> 00:20:08,667
but we can get through it.
459
00:20:10,169 --> 00:20:11,670
I know that we can.
460
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,174
What do you say?
461
00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,970
‐ Sophie, I'd love
to make it work, but...
462
00:20:20,804 --> 00:20:23,348
it's a 14‐hour time difference,
463
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,267
and I'm gonna be living
464
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:27,895
out at sea for weeks
on end without service.
465
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:31,148
It'd just be way too hard.
466
00:20:31,148 --> 00:20:33,108
‐ Oh, this is brutal.
467
00:20:34,735 --> 00:20:36,695
‐ I'm really sorry, Sophie.
468
00:20:36,695 --> 00:20:39,072
But, maybe someday, right?
469
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:41,700
‐ Yeah. Maybe.
470
00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:44,703
♪
471
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:55,672
But I didn't
want to wait around for some day.
472
00:21:02,221 --> 00:21:03,972
‐ I'm doing it!
473
00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:07,184
I'm walking the bridge
without the love of my life!
474
00:21:08,143 --> 00:21:10,354
Sounded more triumphant in my head.
475
00:21:10,354 --> 00:21:11,647
‐ You walk that bridge, girl.
476
00:21:12,898 --> 00:21:16,109
That... surprisingly clean and...
477
00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:17,611
actually rather majestic bridge.
478
00:21:17,611 --> 00:21:20,322
‐ You don't have to pretend
to like this for me.
479
00:21:21,657 --> 00:21:23,283
‐ I'm not pretending.
480
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,786
You know,
I‐I really do think it's stunning.
481
00:21:26,912 --> 00:21:29,790
Brimming with...
with life and personality.
482
00:21:33,293 --> 00:21:34,795
Like you.
483
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:40,467
‐ Charlie, do you know one of
the reasons I fell so hard for you?
484
00:21:41,009 --> 00:21:44,096
‐ Because my charm is all boy,
but my body is all man?
485
00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:46,682
‐ No.
486
00:21:46,682 --> 00:21:48,642
It's because I thought you were brave.
487
00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:52,604
You've lived this
incredibly pampered life,
488
00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:54,314
but you walked away from it all.
489
00:21:55,190 --> 00:21:57,359
To take a chance on us.
490
00:21:59,069 --> 00:22:00,863
Charlie...
491
00:22:00,863 --> 00:22:02,906
this city is magic!
492
00:22:02,906 --> 00:22:04,199
♪
493
00:22:04,199 --> 00:22:05,826
And so am I.
494
00:22:08,579 --> 00:22:11,623
Do you wanna be a part
of that magic or not?
495
00:22:13,208 --> 00:22:14,710
‐ I do.
496
00:22:15,377 --> 00:22:17,004
Very, very much.
497
00:22:23,177 --> 00:22:26,555
‐ If Sophie can walk across
this bridge totally alone
498
00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:28,098
and Sid can have
499
00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:31,018
a good attitude about
his fiancée ditching him,
500
00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:33,854
and you two can try to make your...
501
00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:35,522
completely doomed relationship work...
502
00:22:35,522 --> 00:22:36,523
‐ Hey!
‐ Ellen!
503
00:22:36,982 --> 00:22:40,194
‐ ...then I can stop obsessing
over my divorce
504
00:22:40,194 --> 00:22:42,196
and ask a woman out to divorce!
505
00:22:43,030 --> 00:22:45,199
To divorce. To dinner! Dammit!
506
00:22:45,199 --> 00:22:46,742
‐ You'll get there.
507
00:22:46,742 --> 00:22:49,328
♪
508
00:22:50,329 --> 00:22:52,706
‐ This is good for Soph.
She needed this.
509
00:22:52,706 --> 00:22:56,043
‐ What? She's gonna be fine.
She's got her parents' magic love story
510
00:22:56,043 --> 00:22:58,170
to keep her stupidly optimistic.
511
00:22:58,170 --> 00:22:59,880
‐ Magic love story?
‐ Yeah.
512
00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:02,382
‐ Sophie's mom is a party girl
513
00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:04,760
who bounces around
from boyfriend to boyfriend.
514
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:06,970
Her dad wasn't even in the picture.
515
00:23:06,970 --> 00:23:09,139
The only thing
magical about Sophie's life
516
00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:11,141
is that she still believes in love at all.
517
00:23:13,477 --> 00:23:15,896
‐ How have I never walked
this bridge before?
518
00:23:15,896 --> 00:23:17,397
I told you!
519
00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:20,234
‐ Whoo!
‐ Now, we're talking!
520
00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:22,903
Listen, what are we gonna do for dinner?
Because it's late...
521
00:23:25,364 --> 00:23:27,658
‐ Thanks for having us
over for drinks, guys!
522
00:23:27,658 --> 00:23:28,992
‐ Yeah, of course. I mean,
523
00:23:28,992 --> 00:23:31,495
hot engagement sex,
524
00:23:31,495 --> 00:23:33,664
drinks with total strangers...
525
00:23:34,331 --> 00:23:35,874
Two equally good things.
526
00:23:38,502 --> 00:23:40,921
‐ Wow. Love your place!
527
00:23:40,921 --> 00:23:42,589
‐ Thanks. It was a total score.
528
00:23:42,589 --> 00:23:44,550
We got it from
this old married couple
529
00:23:44,550 --> 00:23:46,844
who posted it
on the Wesleyan Alumni Group.
530
00:23:46,844 --> 00:23:48,428
We even got them
to leave their swords.
531
00:23:48,428 --> 00:23:50,597
Wow. Nice touch.
532
00:23:52,808 --> 00:23:54,059
So, that's it.
533
00:23:54,059 --> 00:23:55,561
That's the night I met your father.
534
00:23:56,603 --> 00:24:00,065
♪ Sooner Or Later by The Grass Roots ♪
535
00:24:03,110 --> 00:24:04,945
But you guys didn't even get together.
536
00:24:04,945 --> 00:24:06,530
‐ Get together? Oh!
537
00:24:06,530 --> 00:24:08,156
That's a much longer story.
538
00:24:08,156 --> 00:24:09,658
Now, where was I?
539
00:24:10,534 --> 00:24:12,411
Where'd I put that bottle of wine?
540
00:24:12,411 --> 00:24:15,330
♪ Sooner or later,
love is gonna get you ♪
541
00:24:15,330 --> 00:24:19,209
♪ Sooner or later, girl,
you've got to give in ♪
542
00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:23,005
♪ Sooner or later,
love is gonna let you ♪
543
00:24:23,005 --> 00:24:26,550
♪ Sooner or later,
love is gonna win ♪
544
00:24:27,301 --> 00:24:29,178
♪ It's just a matter of time ♪
545
00:24:29,178 --> 00:24:31,847
♪ Before you make up your mind ♪
546
00:24:31,847 --> 00:24:34,391
♪ To give all that love
that you've been hiding ♪
547
00:24:34,933 --> 00:24:36,935
♪ It's just a question of when ♪
548
00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:39,188
♪ I've told you time and again ♪
549
00:24:39,188 --> 00:24:42,024
♪ I get all the love you've been denying ♪
550
00:24:42,024 --> 00:24:45,569
♪ Sooner or later,
love is gonna get you... ♪
41272
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