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1
00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:12,680
I'm Taylor Fisher and I'm a bitch.
2
00:00:14,098 --> 00:00:19,145
Beauty, intelligence, talent,
charisma, Hoobastank.
3
00:00:19,603 --> 00:00:21,230
What? They're good.
4
00:00:22,398 --> 00:00:24,025
Indie rock trends do move fast.
5
00:00:24,233 --> 00:00:26,068
Today, my alarm is set
to the Drunges.
6
00:00:28,779 --> 00:00:30,698
But by the time
you actually watch this...
7
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:33,659
they'll be headlining a toilet
in Toledo with mops.
8
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,411
Hey, bitch, that's not cool.
9
00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:37,163
Eat cock!
10
00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:45,338
Hello, Taylor.
It's Don. Don Waters, again.
11
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:48,341
We made out behind the Pizza Pitt.
You tasted the deep dish.
12
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,343
Not deep enough.
13
00:00:51,302 --> 00:00:52,428
Get out of the bathroom.
14
00:00:52,636 --> 00:00:56,599
You're ruining my life, you **** ****
**** **** fucking Ecstasy baby!
15
00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:59,935
- I'm peeing.
- Taylor, hi, Singe Gupta.
16
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:02,438
I very much liked our calculus date
at Pizza Pitt.
17
00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:06,984
Loser. Your parabolic graph was bent
and I only got a B.
18
00:01:08,486 --> 00:01:09,862
French toast?
19
00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:12,031
Mom, I'm on a no-bread diet.
20
00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:14,075
- Since when?
- Since now!
21
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:17,244
Oh, I hate you! I hope you die!
22
00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,956
Taylor, what we did at Pizza Pitt...
23
00:01:21,165 --> 00:01:23,584
Word of advice,
there's always new toothpaste.
24
00:01:23,793 --> 00:01:25,961
Don't swallow. Spit.
25
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:35,429
Cinderella ll: Beauty Scream opened
this week at the Galaxy Pines Mall.
26
00:01:35,638 --> 00:01:38,766
If you're anyone who's anyone
in Grizzly Lake, you'll go see it.
27
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,768
Moscow Hyatt is my idol.
28
00:01:40,976 --> 00:01:43,437
This brings me to something I call:
29
00:01:44,313 --> 00:01:47,817
Taylor Fisher's Guide
to Not Being a Total Reject.
30
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:51,112
One, go see Cinderella ll
on Friday night, loser.
31
00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,614
Taylor, honey, I'm leaving.
Hurry or we'll be late.
32
00:01:53,823 --> 00:01:55,991
Mom, I'm doing something important!
33
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,910
You're a monster!
34
00:01:58,119 --> 00:01:59,161
I'll be in the car.
35
00:01:59,370 --> 00:02:01,497
Fuck a duck!
36
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:04,834
Let me montage this
to speed things up.
37
00:02:32,737 --> 00:02:33,696
What now?
38
00:02:34,739 --> 00:02:36,198
Love Pizza Pitt.
39
00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:37,450
Who are you?
40
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,577
Your biggest fan.
41
00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:40,786
Rad.
42
00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:43,706
Bitch, going to kill you.
43
00:02:43,914 --> 00:02:45,708
_Qkay. _Qkay...
44
00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:48,127
Stalkers are so 2011.
45
00:02:48,336 --> 00:02:51,213
Get out of my room, you pedophile!
46
00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:04,810
Where is she?
47
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,229
The girl gets away with everything.
48
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,416
Life sucks.
49
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:38,552
Nice. That's just awesome.
50
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,723
I try to remember
I'm only the second-biggest loser...
51
00:03:42,973 --> 00:03:44,266
to walk Grizzly Lake High.
52
00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:48,688
First place goes to the drunk slut who
screwed the dead mascot in 1992.
53
00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:54,902
But the '90s are history. So am I.
54
00:04:12,962 --> 00:04:14,338
Oh, my God, I love this song.
55
00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,968
Shit!
56
00:04:22,346 --> 00:04:24,682
No, no, no, no.
57
00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,228
Shit.
58
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:35,818
This is the fifth sighting of
mysterious objects over Grizzly Lake.
59
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,656
Authorities speculate an elaborate
hoax perpetuated by high-school...
60
00:04:40,865 --> 00:04:43,993
Dad, I forgot the bus leaves early
on Wednesdays. Can you drive me?
61
00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:45,703
Sure, hon.
62
00:04:46,662 --> 00:04:49,457
Nope, still drunk.
63
00:05:05,264 --> 00:05:06,849
Yo, Heather Mills.
64
00:05:07,058 --> 00:05:10,436
You're robbing me?
I didn't even know Iceland had crime.
65
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,813
Stop generalizing. I stole this shirt.
66
00:05:13,022 --> 00:05:15,483
- And the leather shoes?
- Vegetarian?
67
00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:18,861
"Vegetarianism is the taproot
of humanitarianism." Tolstoy.
68
00:05:19,070 --> 00:05:21,405
Give me your iPod, salad eater.
69
00:05:23,908 --> 00:05:26,702
- It's a fucking shuffle.
- I make 6.55 an hour.
70
00:05:26,911 --> 00:05:29,372
Yeah. Thanks, anyway.
71
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:31,624
I'm too old for this shit.
72
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:35,211
It's not my fault majoring
in Inuit Literature and Hipster Rock...
73
00:05:35,419 --> 00:05:39,006
- ...doesn't replenish your trust fund.
- I listen to Aerosmith.
74
00:06:21,841 --> 00:06:24,010
- Hey, Clapton.
- Hey, Clapton.
75
00:06:24,552 --> 00:06:26,929
- Hey.
- Go left.
76
00:06:27,722 --> 00:06:31,100
Where is Clapton Davis?
77
00:06:47,825 --> 00:06:48,951
Other way.
78
00:07:01,339 --> 00:07:04,216
Who gave Riley the permission
to have the hots for Clapton?
79
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:07,094
Did falling off the ugly tree
knock a dream into her head?
80
00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:12,600
Why doom a win like Clapton Davis
to a life of missionary sex?
81
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:22,902
Nice save, Truman.
82
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,154
Think you can hook me up
with Alexis at prom?
83
00:07:25,363 --> 00:07:26,989
Yeah, no problem!
84
00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:35,498
This bear's been deceased
since the Nixon Administration...
85
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:38,376
yet exerts
an extraordinary magnetic field.
86
00:07:41,671 --> 00:07:45,508
Toshiba, you're either the smartest kid
in school or the weirdest.
87
00:07:45,716 --> 00:07:48,094
Mimi, wait. Wait, Mimi. No.
88
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:50,221
I know it looks like
such a lighthearted...
89
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:53,349
feel-good comedy
being an expecting teenage mom.
90
00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:57,770
Let me tell you something. I've been
principal at this school for five years.
91
00:07:57,978 --> 00:08:00,690
Let me tell both of you something.
92
00:08:01,732 --> 00:08:05,403
Pregnant teenagers
are never funny. Ever.
93
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:07,905
I'm not pregnant.
94
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,157
Cut the carbs.
95
00:08:11,575 --> 00:08:12,868
Attention, Grizzly Lake High.
96
00:08:14,245 --> 00:08:16,288
- Hey, Kayla.
- Hey, Vicky.
97
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:17,540
Skank ho.
98
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:21,168
Your vote for prom king and queen
is now due.
99
00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:25,881
Winners win a Pizza Pitt coupon.
Go Grizzly.
100
00:08:26,090 --> 00:08:31,554
Tomorrow, the Grizzly Lake Bears will
play the Town Creek Beavers at pub.
101
00:08:31,762 --> 00:08:33,222
Hey, Clapton.
102
00:08:37,435 --> 00:08:39,854
Lone, did you tell Billy about us?
103
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:44,859
Clapton, the small guy always beats
the invincible killing machine.
104
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,652
You're my Pat Morita.
105
00:08:46,861 --> 00:08:48,571
Isn't he dead?
106
00:08:49,113 --> 00:08:50,322
Duck.
107
00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:58,372
Verge.
108
00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:01,542
Get a life, punk.
109
00:09:01,751 --> 00:09:03,210
This is ugly.
110
00:09:20,978 --> 00:09:23,731
Three o'clock. Parking lot.
111
00:09:23,939 --> 00:09:27,443
Winner wins lone. Loser wins...
112
00:09:27,735 --> 00:09:30,112
Jone? - Shut-up!
113
00:09:30,321 --> 00:09:34,909
Just make sure your dumb ass
is there, dumb-ass!
114
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:47,254
Really, Clapton? If you're gonna get
your limbs ripped off...
115
00:09:47,463 --> 00:09:49,382
find a more worthy charity
thanlone.
116
00:09:49,674 --> 00:09:51,092
Lone likes Sting.
117
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:54,428
Clapton Davis,
you are more concept than reality.
118
00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:04,146
I just mean that it looks like
Clapton's gonna ask out lone...
119
00:10:04,355 --> 00:10:07,733
which makes about as much sense
as that stupid movie Torque.
120
00:10:07,942 --> 00:10:09,819
So, what do you think
about you and me?
121
00:10:10,027 --> 00:10:12,238
Have you even thought about prom?
122
00:10:12,446 --> 00:10:15,324
Hey, Sander. I saw your dad's dick
on Chatroulette last night.
123
00:10:15,533 --> 00:10:17,159
Yes, Sander, I'm a girl.
124
00:10:17,368 --> 00:10:20,079
Forget about genocide,
poverty and political corruption.
125
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,915
What could possibly be on
my girl mind other than prom?
126
00:10:23,124 --> 00:10:24,500
Totally right, lone.
127
00:10:24,709 --> 00:10:28,337
- Sting is the Bruno Mars of 1992.
- You're so funny.
128
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:31,674
- Why do you think I'd go with him?
- No reason.
129
00:10:32,091 --> 00:10:36,429
Have you ever noticed that
we have compatible facial features?
130
00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:41,350
Riley, don't delay the inevitable.
131
00:10:41,851 --> 00:10:44,353
You know in three days,
we're gonna be prom dates...
132
00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:46,772
and the sex and shame
will be fleeting.
133
00:10:46,981 --> 00:10:48,482
Look, get off my nuts, all right?
134
00:10:49,066 --> 00:10:51,777
Hey, Riley, I don't wanna hear
about your testicles.
135
00:10:51,986 --> 00:10:54,447
The assignment is simple.
You're a smart girl.
136
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:57,867
Use what you've learned this semester
about quantum physics...
137
00:10:58,075 --> 00:11:01,328
and build me a time machine
so I can get out of here.
138
00:11:04,623 --> 00:11:07,710
- So hot.
- Sander, we have to finish this.
139
00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:09,670
Then stop messing
with that bear claw.
140
00:11:09,879 --> 00:11:11,672
I took it from the mascot. Strange.
141
00:11:11,881 --> 00:11:14,550
Someone wired this with organic,
super-conduction Mimis...
142
00:11:14,759 --> 00:11:16,719
- MagMimis... Magnets.
- God.
143
00:11:16,927 --> 00:11:19,305
Come on.
Toshiba, I mean, look at Clapton's.
144
00:11:20,181 --> 00:11:23,684
It's got a clock-looking thing, okay?
I wanna pass this course.
145
00:11:23,893 --> 00:11:27,188
Then do something. If I fail science,
I'm stuck with you next year...
146
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:29,482
in the Remedial History
of the Jelly Bean.
147
00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:31,567
- I love jelly beans.
- Slacker.
148
00:11:33,277 --> 00:11:35,571
That's hilarious. What is it?
149
00:11:35,780 --> 00:11:38,157
I don't know. It looks like a bong.
150
00:11:44,288 --> 00:11:46,082
Well, Clapton...
151
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,209
I'm wet.
152
00:12:12,983 --> 00:12:14,610
I get it.
153
00:12:14,902 --> 00:12:17,947
Listening to your loud music.
Tripping out to Fraggle Rock.
154
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:22,284
But the question is,
what does the future hold...
155
00:12:22,493 --> 00:12:24,787
for Clapton Davis?
156
00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,790
Well, I am starting
my own music site.
157
00:12:28,332 --> 00:12:30,334
It'll list new releases
and review albums...
158
00:12:30,501 --> 00:12:32,294
from bands
that nobody has heard of.
159
00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:35,256
If they have, I'll dismiss them
with scathing comparisons...
160
00:12:35,464 --> 00:12:37,216
to avant-garde folk rockers.
161
00:12:37,425 --> 00:12:39,427
Everything is graded on
a 100-point scale.
162
00:12:39,635 --> 00:12:41,220
- No place for feedback.
- Excellent.
163
00:12:41,429 --> 00:12:45,641
Readers can bitch on their Twitters.
Good taste is not a democracy.
164
00:12:47,268 --> 00:12:49,979
And this pays what, 13.5 a year?
165
00:12:50,646 --> 00:12:53,274
Free Costello tickets.
166
00:12:59,822 --> 00:13:04,785
Do you think that I am
teaching students out of love?
167
00:13:06,537 --> 00:13:08,164
I'm not.
168
00:13:08,372 --> 00:13:12,668
It's your senior year
and your GPA is...
169
00:13:12,877 --> 00:13:14,754
It's a disgrace.
170
00:13:15,338 --> 00:13:18,341
But I'd rather not see you
back here next fall.
171
00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:21,761
Give me an excuse to graduate you.
172
00:13:21,969 --> 00:13:23,763
Impress me.
173
00:13:24,263 --> 00:13:27,683
Get an A. Save a small country.
Something.
174
00:13:27,892 --> 00:13:29,185
Anything.
175
00:13:29,393 --> 00:13:31,687
Otherwise, get expelled...
176
00:13:31,896 --> 00:13:36,484
with the lowest grades
in Grizzly Lake history.
177
00:13:39,737 --> 00:13:40,863
Does Home Ec count?
178
00:13:41,072 --> 00:13:43,866
Get your shit together, son.
179
00:13:47,244 --> 00:13:51,540
I make 40 g's a year plus dental.
You may not have a Skittle.
180
00:13:57,755 --> 00:13:59,632
Thanks, Mr. Kendall.
181
00:14:05,304 --> 00:14:06,347
Princess?
182
00:14:06,555 --> 00:14:08,391
- Lone.
- Looks like Taylor's absent.
183
00:14:08,599 --> 00:14:11,894
You'll be head cheerleader for
the Grizzly Lake Bear playoff game.
184
00:14:12,937 --> 00:14:14,397
Don't do that.
185
00:14:14,605 --> 00:14:15,981
You there!
186
00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:18,192
- Riley.
- Sure you are, Crutches.
187
00:14:18,442 --> 00:14:20,319
You'll have to be
the Grizzly Lake bear.
188
00:14:20,528 --> 00:14:22,530
Mascot?
189
00:14:22,738 --> 00:14:26,325
Wearing the bear suit is a privilege
enjoyed by a few. Put it on.
190
00:14:26,534 --> 00:14:28,285
Time to get serious, dude.
191
00:14:30,454 --> 00:14:32,331
- Is this real fur?
- That goes for you too.
192
00:14:32,540 --> 00:14:34,917
- Don't you mess this up!
- I won't, Mr. Cooper.
193
00:14:35,126 --> 00:14:37,211
You're as funny
as Bronson Pinchot.
194
00:14:38,921 --> 00:14:40,756
Let me hear you growl!
195
00:14:41,465 --> 00:14:42,925
Attack!
196
00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:45,428
Typecast.
197
00:15:02,987 --> 00:15:04,780
One and two! Feel it, whoo!
198
00:15:04,989 --> 00:15:06,365
That's the spirit, lone.
199
00:15:06,574 --> 00:15:09,952
I was wondering when Freedom
Williams would make a comeback!
200
00:15:19,337 --> 00:15:21,630
- F in dodge ball too.
- You suck!
201
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:25,468
Road House?
202
00:15:25,676 --> 00:15:28,971
Patrick Swayze didn't get Kelly Lynch
without ripping some throats first.
203
00:15:29,180 --> 00:15:33,476
- I need to study if I'm gonna fight Billy.
- You can't be planning on fighting him.
204
00:15:34,685 --> 00:15:38,647
Three o'clock, Clapton!
You're fucking dead!
205
00:15:38,898 --> 00:15:40,941
Well, I guess he still likes lone.
206
00:15:42,193 --> 00:15:44,945
Never underestimate the appeal
of stupid, cute things.
207
00:15:45,363 --> 00:15:48,908
The girl's a moron. But you don't...?
You don't have a thing for her, do you?
208
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:53,329
Sander, lone's an old soul trapped in
a very painfully hot cheerleader body.
209
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:56,999
She knows the "Fields of Gold" lyrics.
Every little thing she does is magic.
210
00:15:57,208 --> 00:15:59,210
- Believe it.
- I believe in things I can see.
211
00:15:59,418 --> 00:16:01,504
I believe in violence.
212
00:16:01,712 --> 00:16:06,258
I believe in trees,
mortgages and albinos.
213
00:16:08,969 --> 00:16:10,262
Wet T-shirt.
214
00:16:10,471 --> 00:16:13,015
Patrick Swayze was only
an action star for three years.
215
00:16:13,224 --> 00:16:17,353
Steven Seagal is a lifelong Buddhist
and a deadly master of aikido.
216
00:16:17,561 --> 00:16:20,147
Wrong. Mullet beats ponytails.
217
00:16:21,732 --> 00:16:24,527
Red shirt.
218
00:16:27,738 --> 00:16:30,700
What if that innocent cow
was your son?
219
00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:34,203
Or your daughter?
220
00:16:35,246 --> 00:16:38,457
Now, scientists don't know
whether fish feel pain...
221
00:16:38,666 --> 00:16:43,212
so some vegetarians
still eat salmon and stuff.
222
00:16:43,462 --> 00:16:48,718
But do you know how much pigs
or, like, veal suffer?
223
00:16:48,926 --> 00:16:52,722
Is the only reason they live
just to be killed?
224
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:54,473
Meat is murder.
225
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:00,062
Nice work, Riley.
226
00:17:00,271 --> 00:17:04,066
Now, for the counter-argument,
we turn to Gord.
227
00:17:04,275 --> 00:17:06,402
Gord is our Canadian
exchange student...
228
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:08,904
from Lunenburg, Nova Scotia...
229
00:17:09,113 --> 00:17:12,241
where I hear the salmon
is delicious.
230
00:17:12,450 --> 00:17:13,409
Gord?
231
00:17:13,617 --> 00:17:17,913
Yes, I'd like to start off by saying
that this girl's argument is ridiculous.
232
00:17:18,122 --> 00:17:20,916
Vegetarians who eat fish
are hypocrites.
233
00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:24,587
She thinks because fish may feel
no pain, they don't value their lives.
234
00:17:24,795 --> 00:17:29,091
Absurd. And notice how she expresses
almost no sympathy for chickens.
235
00:17:29,300 --> 00:17:31,802
That's because Americans
hate chickens.
236
00:17:32,011 --> 00:17:34,930
For example,
KFC serves popcorn chicken...
237
00:17:35,139 --> 00:17:38,601
to assure the customers
that the chicken was blown to bits...
238
00:17:38,809 --> 00:17:42,438
yet the meatball sub at Subway
isn't called "popcorn cow."
239
00:17:42,646 --> 00:17:45,107
Americans want chickens to die.
240
00:17:45,316 --> 00:17:48,277
Lame! Personally,
I do feel sympathy for animals...
241
00:17:48,527 --> 00:17:51,447
which is why I choose
to only eat baby animals.
242
00:17:51,655 --> 00:17:54,533
They have not lived as long
and are not leaving as much behind.
243
00:17:54,992 --> 00:17:59,121
Baby clams, chicken wings,
baby seals, no big loss.
244
00:17:59,663 --> 00:18:02,458
If we don't eat meat,
we lose our place in the food chain.
245
00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:05,252
Eating animals gives us confidence
as humans.
246
00:18:05,544 --> 00:18:09,006
Vegetarians like this girl,
who is only wearing one shoe...
247
00:18:09,173 --> 00:18:11,300
have less confidence
than everybody else.
248
00:18:11,509 --> 00:18:13,552
Thank you, class. Ms. Maclntire.
249
00:18:13,761 --> 00:18:15,930
Very well researched, Gord.
250
00:18:16,681 --> 00:18:18,474
And, yes, it's true.
251
00:18:18,683 --> 00:18:22,436
Teenagers need self-confidence.
252
00:18:30,569 --> 00:18:35,491
Clamato: the only animal-mammal
beverage at the grocery store.
253
00:18:36,534 --> 00:18:40,121
Which is too bad, because I could
really go for some carbonated dolphin.
254
00:18:40,329 --> 00:18:41,997
Why must you interrupt
my solitude...
255
00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:45,251
in the worst day of the worst life
in Grizzly Lake history?
256
00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:48,337
- You're not the girl who fucked a bear.
- That was 20 years ago.
257
00:18:48,546 --> 00:18:50,339
And she was a pervert.
I'm a mascot.
258
00:18:50,548 --> 00:18:53,175
It's one rank lower
on the social ladder.
259
00:18:53,384 --> 00:18:55,970
It's true.
I've been thinking about stuff.
260
00:18:56,178 --> 00:18:57,638
Nudity, mostly.
261
00:18:57,847 --> 00:18:59,348
You know, we don't talk much...
262
00:18:59,598 --> 00:19:02,852
but I like to believe we've been
sort of friends for a while.
263
00:19:03,102 --> 00:19:05,062
Arguable, but not outlandish.
264
00:19:05,396 --> 00:19:09,358
Okay, this human-conversation thing
is not working for you. Let's text.
265
00:19:10,901 --> 00:19:12,361
You better not sext me.
266
00:19:12,570 --> 00:19:14,822
Not interested in the rules.
267
00:19:15,031 --> 00:19:16,198
Yeah, I figured.
268
00:19:16,407 --> 00:19:19,326
Courtship, social ethics,
what people think.
269
00:19:19,535 --> 00:19:20,995
Very true. You're right.
270
00:19:23,748 --> 00:19:25,875
- Sorry, that was for Clapton.
- What the frig!
271
00:19:26,083 --> 00:19:27,752
You know what?
Let's get it over with.
272
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,046
- Let's have sex.
- I'm only gonna say this once.
273
00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:33,049
Do not become the bad guy
in the pregnancy-scare video.
274
00:19:33,257 --> 00:19:37,178
Playful banter is just a sign of
a healthy, caring communi... Hold on.
275
00:19:39,638 --> 00:19:43,225
If you go sit somewhere else, we can
maybe go back to being sort of friends.
276
00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:51,817
- Mind if I sit here?
- Free country.
277
00:20:11,128 --> 00:20:14,757
Every day, you and I stand in
this hallway and no one notices.
278
00:20:15,925 --> 00:20:21,013
We're just hollow and useless...
279
00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:24,392
and stuffed full of crap
nobody will ever see.
280
00:20:26,936 --> 00:20:28,729
I know who you are.
281
00:20:30,314 --> 00:20:31,941
You're me.
282
00:20:33,818 --> 00:20:35,361
Well, let's go.
283
00:20:37,113 --> 00:20:39,949
I mean, "Gonna Make You Sweat"?
284
00:20:40,199 --> 00:20:43,452
They let her get away
with making that look cool?
285
00:20:43,703 --> 00:20:46,789
And then I'm beaten by a Canadian
on the ethics of eating animals...
286
00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:50,543
which makes no sense because
Canadians are supposed to be nice.
287
00:20:52,128 --> 00:20:53,295
See you, Clapton Davis.
288
00:20:53,504 --> 00:20:55,464
Hope my soundtrack
comes out on vinyl.
289
00:22:26,263 --> 00:22:30,059
Little dudes like you get worked.
290
00:22:30,267 --> 00:22:32,645
Let's see your teeth.
For dental records.
291
00:22:32,853 --> 00:22:36,065
Yeah, the next time you go
to the dentist and look at an x-ray...
292
00:22:36,315 --> 00:22:40,194
it will be a picture
of your head flying off.
293
00:22:40,611 --> 00:22:43,739
- Shit. Get that molar.
- Somebody's trying to kill me!
294
00:22:43,948 --> 00:22:45,491
Join the club.
295
00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:47,576
Get out of my face, dude.
296
00:22:47,785 --> 00:22:51,205
Leave him alone, Nolan. We get it.
Your dick is bigger, all right?
297
00:22:51,455 --> 00:22:52,581
Wait, how do you know?
298
00:22:52,790 --> 00:22:55,501
Clapton, you're my Ralph Macchio.
Do the crane thing.
299
00:22:56,293 --> 00:22:59,088
I like you, lone,
but you're really weird.
300
00:22:59,296 --> 00:23:01,215
If your face hurts my fist...
301
00:23:01,966 --> 00:23:03,926
I will punch you again harder.
302
00:23:08,139 --> 00:23:11,392
- Everyone take a step back.
- Hang on! I was here first.
303
00:23:11,851 --> 00:23:13,185
Listen up, folks.
304
00:23:13,394 --> 00:23:15,438
Your classmate Taylor Fisher...
305
00:23:15,646 --> 00:23:17,773
was murdered in her bedroom
this morning.
306
00:23:17,982 --> 00:23:20,901
- What?
- I know this comes as a shock.
307
00:23:21,110 --> 00:23:23,320
We're gonna need to speak
to some of you in turn.
308
00:23:23,529 --> 00:23:27,283
- I was just attacked!
- Sure you were, honey.
309
00:23:37,501 --> 00:23:40,046
The violent death of 17-year-old
Taylor Fisher...
310
00:23:40,254 --> 00:23:42,048
has shaken the town
of Grizzly Lake.
311
00:23:42,256 --> 00:23:43,966
Fisher, a beloved
Bears cheerleader...
312
00:23:45,468 --> 00:23:47,803
was getting ready for school
when an intruder stabbed...
313
00:23:48,012 --> 00:23:50,473
Jason Lawrence said
he saw blue lights in the sky...
314
00:23:50,681 --> 00:23:53,684
and then mysteriously was
compelled to eat three cans of tuna...
315
00:23:53,893 --> 00:23:55,561
a food he typically hates.
316
00:24:34,058 --> 00:24:36,268
Fuck everybody.
317
00:26:12,031 --> 00:26:16,202
- You ever do any rave drugs?
- A rave? What is this, 1996?
318
00:26:16,410 --> 00:26:18,412
This attacker you're describing,
Ms. Jones...
319
00:26:18,662 --> 00:26:20,998
- ...sounds just like that horror film.
- Cinderella.
320
00:26:21,207 --> 00:26:22,625
Scream.
321
00:26:22,833 --> 00:26:24,960
Cinderella is only a movie.
It can't hurt you.
322
00:26:25,169 --> 00:26:27,546
- You know that?
- I don't know. See the first one?
323
00:26:27,755 --> 00:26:30,716
You're under the belief that
she attacked you? Cinderella?
324
00:26:30,925 --> 00:26:33,135
Look, I am not a retarded
Neve Campbell, okay?
325
00:26:33,344 --> 00:26:35,262
Obviously, it was someone
dressed like her.
326
00:26:35,471 --> 00:26:38,933
- You nuked the fridge with that one.
- I'm sorry. I don't speak fanboy.
327
00:26:39,183 --> 00:26:43,104
Call if anything else comes to mind
or happens to you.
328
00:26:43,312 --> 00:26:45,981
Yeppers, I'll be sure to call you
when I'm murdered.
329
00:26:46,190 --> 00:26:50,236
Hey. A girl at your school is dead,
for real.
330
00:26:50,444 --> 00:26:51,946
Think about that.
331
00:26:52,863 --> 00:26:55,324
Iron Man. Now, that's a movie.
332
00:26:55,533 --> 00:26:57,576
Iron Man was fucking PG-13.
333
00:26:57,785 --> 00:27:00,788
Does this sound fucking PG-13
to you?
334
00:27:01,038 --> 00:27:02,832
Worst motive ever.
335
00:27:08,713 --> 00:27:11,090
What, you think I'm making this up?
336
00:27:12,341 --> 00:27:15,594
Come on, Riley,
there's nobody else here.
337
00:27:19,473 --> 00:27:20,850
Show me.
338
00:27:23,519 --> 00:27:26,689
Whoever's trying to kill me knows
that Cinderella is a huge cliché.
339
00:27:26,897 --> 00:27:28,941
They know I know
nobody would believe me.
340
00:27:29,358 --> 00:27:31,694
It's a conspiracy
to get everyone to think...
341
00:27:31,902 --> 00:27:35,656
I'm a total loser making preemptive,
mid-'90s pop references.
342
00:27:35,865 --> 00:27:37,867
Yeah, it's all coming
to an end anyways.
343
00:27:38,117 --> 00:27:40,828
- Translation?
- Our lives.
344
00:27:41,037 --> 00:27:43,789
This summer everyone in
Grizzly Lake is going to college...
345
00:27:43,998 --> 00:27:46,834
to incubate their degrees,
get knocked up at a kegger...
346
00:27:47,043 --> 00:27:49,503
and come back here to populate
one of these homes...
347
00:27:49,754 --> 00:27:53,299
with tiny little versions of themselves.
These are our final days.
348
00:27:53,716 --> 00:27:55,051
Turn.
349
00:27:56,927 --> 00:27:59,555
What about your whole
music-criticism thing?
350
00:27:59,764 --> 00:28:03,976
You'll beat the odds.
You always do, Clapton Davis.
351
00:28:04,185 --> 00:28:07,396
Billy wants to eBay pieces of my face
and Verge is gonna fail me...
352
00:28:07,605 --> 00:28:09,482
unless I get an A
or save the universe.
353
00:28:09,690 --> 00:28:12,234
Both equally improbable scenarios.
354
00:28:12,860 --> 00:28:13,861
Duck.
355
00:28:15,071 --> 00:28:18,157
You know, the whole cynic act
doesn't really fit on you.
356
00:28:18,366 --> 00:28:19,742
Can't change anything.
357
00:28:19,950 --> 00:28:23,245
Now is all we got. It's not cynicism.
I think now is pretty rad.
358
00:28:23,454 --> 00:28:27,166
Except one girl's dead and the other's
waiting for the noose to tighten.
359
00:28:28,876 --> 00:28:30,252
No.
360
00:28:30,753 --> 00:28:34,340
I'm talking about now, me and you.
361
00:28:34,548 --> 00:28:37,760
Look around. What don't you see?
362
00:28:39,303 --> 00:28:40,638
Cinderella?
363
00:28:42,807 --> 00:28:44,266
Lone.
364
00:28:44,809 --> 00:28:46,936
Get over yourself. Seriously.
365
00:28:47,144 --> 00:28:49,230
My cast comes off tomorrow.
366
00:28:49,814 --> 00:28:53,192
- Wanna take me dancing?
- Clapton don't dance.
367
00:28:53,401 --> 00:28:56,112
Right, unless lone's playing Oasis.
368
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,489
More Grizzly Lake kids
were conceived to Oasis...
369
00:28:58,698 --> 00:29:02,159
than any other Beatles cover band.
Definitely Maybe is British Rohypnol.
370
00:29:02,618 --> 00:29:04,161
Eyes glazing.
371
00:29:06,664 --> 00:29:09,417
I made plans to see a movie
with lone tomorrow night.
372
00:29:10,334 --> 00:29:12,753
Make room for a third wheel.
373
00:29:23,681 --> 00:29:26,142
Cinderella, please. No.
374
00:29:26,350 --> 00:29:28,894
Why are you crying?
375
00:29:29,353 --> 00:29:32,481
This is the happiest night of your life.
You're prom queen.
376
00:29:32,690 --> 00:29:36,736
It didn't mean anything, okay?
I swear. It was just sex.
377
00:29:36,944 --> 00:29:40,990
Oh, no, Wendy.
It was the worst kind of sex.
378
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:42,324
Premarital.
379
00:29:42,533 --> 00:29:44,827
I won't tell anyone, I swear.
Just let me go.
380
00:29:45,036 --> 00:29:47,997
I'll let you go,
but only if the glass slipper fits.
381
00:29:48,205 --> 00:29:51,167
It's deep inside
your lower abdomen.
382
00:29:51,375 --> 00:29:53,836
- Oh, no.
- Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no.
383
00:29:54,045 --> 00:29:58,007
If you take longer than two minutes,
it'll be a whole new crown of thorns.
384
00:30:00,259 --> 00:30:02,178
Start digging...
385
00:30:02,887 --> 00:30:04,221
Clock's ticking.
386
00:30:08,142 --> 00:30:10,186
Oh, God!
387
00:30:13,064 --> 00:30:14,357
Say cheese.
388
00:30:15,066 --> 00:30:17,943
If you wanted to take pictures,
you should have stayed at home.
389
00:30:18,152 --> 00:30:21,113
- Eat my shorts, jerk.
- I'll murder you, bitch.
390
00:30:21,322 --> 00:30:22,323
"Eat my shorts"?
391
00:30:22,573 --> 00:30:25,659
There's always some dickvveed
trying to spoil people's fun.
392
00:30:25,993 --> 00:30:28,829
- This film is gnarly.
- Gnarly.
393
00:30:29,580 --> 00:30:33,334
It's not fair. I've been doing
Pilates all senior year.
394
00:30:33,542 --> 00:30:35,836
My stomach muscles
are too tight to dig through.
395
00:30:36,045 --> 00:30:39,131
Oh, Wendy,
why didn't you think about that...
396
00:30:39,340 --> 00:30:43,469
before you offered Scott
your after-school special?
397
00:30:43,678 --> 00:30:45,805
Cinderella is a moralist.
398
00:30:46,013 --> 00:30:48,516
This is probably the best movie
since Volcano.
399
00:30:48,724 --> 00:30:52,311
And the award for most vapid
film review of the century goes to...
400
00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:54,730
- Can you try being nice?
- Clapton's with me.
401
00:30:54,939 --> 00:30:57,650
- Quit being a space cadet.
- I don't like Clapton.
402
00:30:58,275 --> 00:30:59,944
- I don't care.
- White people, shut it!
403
00:31:00,152 --> 00:31:02,822
But you know he's my own
Michael Keaton, right?
404
00:31:03,030 --> 00:31:05,241
Will you give it up
with your '90s obsession?
405
00:31:05,449 --> 00:31:07,576
1992 was, like, the coolest year ever.
406
00:31:07,827 --> 00:31:11,038
Speaking of which, nice plagiarism
on your debate with the Canadian.
407
00:31:11,247 --> 00:31:12,581
"Meat is murder"?
408
00:31:12,790 --> 00:31:15,376
Everyone knows Morrissey's
Kill Uncle was better.
409
00:31:15,584 --> 00:31:17,086
- Is it?
- You're such a nimrod.
410
00:31:17,336 --> 00:31:18,754
Will you stop talking?
411
00:31:18,963 --> 00:31:21,257
We have rules of conduct.
Your ticket's a contract.
412
00:31:21,465 --> 00:31:23,592
- Shut up, lumberjack
- What is the contract?
413
00:31:23,843 --> 00:31:26,762
There's to be no illegal photography
inside of Galaxy Cinemas.
414
00:31:26,971 --> 00:31:29,432
That is not the way
a capitalist society functions.
415
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,767
When you take photography
inside of cinemas...
416
00:31:31,976 --> 00:31:35,229
you take money from carpenters
trying to feed their families.
417
00:31:35,438 --> 00:31:37,023
Closing statement?
418
00:31:37,231 --> 00:31:38,232
Silence is compliance.
419
00:31:52,913 --> 00:31:55,541
Do the math, baby. Taylor was hot.
420
00:31:55,750 --> 00:31:56,792
I was watching Smurfs.
421
00:31:57,001 --> 00:31:59,003
Neve Campbell was hot.
Jamie Lee Curtis?
422
00:31:59,170 --> 00:32:01,672
- I just BitTorrented Avatar.
- I'd getjiggy with it.
423
00:32:01,881 --> 00:32:05,134
Rephrase this for me, lone.
Your glamazon logic is too advanced.
424
00:32:05,384 --> 00:32:07,845
- They look nothing like Smurfs.
- Riley. As if.
425
00:32:08,012 --> 00:32:09,889
You're not banging enough
to be murdered.
426
00:32:10,097 --> 00:32:12,308
- They're blue.
- Plus, you live in a bungalow.
427
00:32:12,516 --> 00:32:14,560
Slasher-film heroines
live in McMansions.
428
00:32:14,769 --> 00:32:16,145
They don't look alike.
429
00:32:16,354 --> 00:32:19,982
Wow, that was 70 percent appalling
and 30 percent really perceptive.
430
00:32:20,524 --> 00:32:24,236
- BT-dubs, Cinderella is my stalker.
- Definition, "stalker":
431
00:32:24,445 --> 00:32:27,782
Stalker, noun. Someone who is not
hot enough to be seen with you.
432
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:30,493
Lone makes a compelling case.
433
00:32:30,701 --> 00:32:33,788
If someone were to be
slashed and killed, I'd vote for her.
434
00:32:33,996 --> 00:32:35,956
You're all that and a bag of chips,
Clapton.
435
00:32:36,207 --> 00:32:38,918
It's not like Taylor Fisher
won a popularity contest.
436
00:32:39,126 --> 00:32:42,421
She was murdered. You guys are
watching bimbos-get-tortured porn...
437
00:32:42,630 --> 00:32:45,383
to feed some music-video director's
coke habit.
438
00:32:45,716 --> 00:32:47,343
Taylor died because she had it all.
439
00:32:47,551 --> 00:32:49,845
She was the most popular girl.
Nobody hated her.
440
00:32:50,054 --> 00:32:52,139
I'd hide in a sporting-goods store
if zombies attacked.
441
00:32:52,348 --> 00:32:55,685
Correction: She was the most
popular girl. Everybody hated her.
442
00:32:55,893 --> 00:32:58,270
- Costco.
- FYI, lone, you can't be the hero.
443
00:32:58,479 --> 00:33:00,815
- No zombie memberships.
- Scream queens are virgins.
444
00:33:01,023 --> 00:33:04,777
Riley does have superhero
impenetrability on her side.
445
00:33:04,985 --> 00:33:07,113
Donald Waters.
446
00:33:08,072 --> 00:33:10,116
He said "an anaconda"
and "ice cube."
447
00:33:10,324 --> 00:33:12,201
I thought he was asking me to...
448
00:33:12,410 --> 00:33:14,870
watch a movie.
449
00:33:15,538 --> 00:33:19,208
- Waters? That's gross.
- Cuts virginity out of the equation.
450
00:33:19,917 --> 00:33:21,711
Cinderella wants to kill me more.
451
00:33:21,961 --> 00:33:25,131
I'm hot. Your house sucks. You lose.
452
00:33:29,260 --> 00:33:31,721
Do you think Clapton would say yes
if I asked him out?
453
00:33:31,929 --> 00:33:34,348
Riley, you have to do it.
454
00:33:34,557 --> 00:33:36,642
You two have been
best friends forever.
455
00:33:36,851 --> 00:33:38,936
- Hey, Clapton.
- Hey, Clapton.
456
00:33:40,938 --> 00:33:44,233
He can ride me like that unicycle.
457
00:33:45,109 --> 00:33:46,152
You!
458
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,362
Fartknocker!
459
00:33:52,033 --> 00:33:54,744
Taylor Fisher was a paradigm
of human excellence.
460
00:33:55,578 --> 00:33:57,496
Terrible shame this has to happen.
461
00:33:57,705 --> 00:33:59,040
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
462
00:33:59,790 --> 00:34:02,877
Problem with kids today, they don't
know how to channel aggression.
463
00:34:03,127 --> 00:34:06,088
Football! That's the way.
464
00:34:06,297 --> 00:34:08,257
Otherwise,
they're dreaming of girls...
465
00:34:08,466 --> 00:34:11,260
and end up in prison
on rape charges.
466
00:34:11,802 --> 00:34:12,845
Yeah.
467
00:34:13,054 --> 00:34:17,266
They close the school to let us grieve,
and everyone shows up at the mall.
468
00:34:17,516 --> 00:34:19,226
These people make me sick.
469
00:34:19,435 --> 00:34:22,396
Remember, there's a costume party
later at my place.
470
00:34:24,148 --> 00:34:26,108
Ready for the big game tonight,
coach?
471
00:34:26,317 --> 00:34:28,611
Always ready for football!
472
00:34:29,612 --> 00:34:31,781
You're dead, Clapton.
473
00:34:34,784 --> 00:34:36,035
Gotta fled.
474
00:34:37,411 --> 00:34:39,121
I gotta pick up prom tickets.
475
00:34:39,330 --> 00:34:40,623
But what about Taylor?
476
00:34:40,831 --> 00:34:42,583
Run, blond gal, run!
477
00:34:42,792 --> 00:34:45,419
Hotel for Dogs is on cable soon.
478
00:34:56,764 --> 00:34:58,974
I guess the rumors
that you don't trim are true.
479
00:34:59,183 --> 00:35:02,269
Taking nude photographs
with little kids is sick.
480
00:35:05,314 --> 00:35:08,484
Here we go! Let's play some football!
Bust some heads!
481
00:35:08,693 --> 00:35:10,986
Let's break some hands!
Break a claw!
482
00:35:11,195 --> 00:35:12,822
Take it in!
483
00:35:17,201 --> 00:35:20,746
Watch 32. Set. Hut!
484
00:35:28,504 --> 00:35:30,339
Nolan, I'm open. What the fuck?
485
00:35:30,589 --> 00:35:33,050
Let go of the goddamn ball!
What the...?
486
00:35:34,093 --> 00:35:35,636
What the hell do you think...?
487
00:35:40,599 --> 00:35:42,476
- What are you doing?
- I'm sorry.
488
00:35:42,685 --> 00:35:44,645
- Booger! Get off!
- Come on, Nolan.
489
00:35:44,895 --> 00:35:46,355
- Get in the game!
- I'm trying!
490
00:35:47,064 --> 00:35:48,774
- What is that?
- Get off the bear!
491
00:35:48,983 --> 00:35:50,317
You saw nothing.
492
00:35:50,901 --> 00:35:54,155
Nothing! Shut up!
493
00:35:54,655 --> 00:35:56,365
Nolan, you all right?
494
00:36:03,330 --> 00:36:04,707
What the hell do you think...?
495
00:36:04,915 --> 00:36:07,626
What is that? Goddamn it!
496
00:36:08,669 --> 00:36:10,046
Get out of here!
497
00:36:10,254 --> 00:36:11,297
Billy, hold on a sec.
498
00:36:11,922 --> 00:36:15,176
You resolve all your boy troubles
in the men's room?
499
00:36:15,384 --> 00:36:17,553
Why are you gonna fight Clapton?
So junior high.
500
00:36:17,762 --> 00:36:19,889
All thatjuicing is freaking you out.
501
00:36:20,097 --> 00:36:21,390
Juicing?
502
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:25,394
Does this look like steroids to you?
503
00:36:26,145 --> 00:36:29,398
Yeah, nice biceps. You're a freak!
504
00:36:31,275 --> 00:36:33,736
You wanna know the story
of the real Billy Nolan?
505
00:36:34,362 --> 00:36:36,238
Your eyes are bloodshot,
you vomit acid...
506
00:36:36,447 --> 00:36:39,075
and your brain is scrambled
from all the football hits.
507
00:36:39,283 --> 00:36:41,243
Sure, lay it on me.
508
00:36:42,787 --> 00:36:47,166
I have fly blood in my veins.
509
00:36:47,375 --> 00:36:49,251
I'm a freak.
510
00:36:53,964 --> 00:36:55,549
Robot dog.
511
00:36:59,178 --> 00:37:00,680
Billy, I told you 100 damn times.
512
00:37:00,888 --> 00:37:03,265
Get that dog out of here
when I'm watching the set.
513
00:37:03,474 --> 00:37:05,184
He's blocking the game.
514
00:37:07,937 --> 00:37:09,772
Why does he hate me?
515
00:37:38,300 --> 00:37:40,970
All I have in the world is my TV set.
516
00:37:41,804 --> 00:37:44,390
Never take this off, boy.
517
00:37:44,849 --> 00:37:48,477
No one can know
that my son's a freak.
518
00:37:48,936 --> 00:37:52,815
TV hand! TV hand! TV hand!
519
00:37:55,276 --> 00:37:56,610
Hike!
520
00:37:58,029 --> 00:38:01,490
TV hand! TV hand! TV hand!
521
00:38:25,056 --> 00:38:27,808
And that's exactly
how I remember it.
522
00:38:28,017 --> 00:38:30,353
You have got to cut down
on the protein shakes.
523
00:38:30,561 --> 00:38:34,148
- Get lost! You don't know shit!
- If you fight Clapton, I'll tell everyone.
524
00:38:34,357 --> 00:38:36,275
You think they give trophies
to larvae?
525
00:38:37,193 --> 00:38:39,487
- My hand.
- Come on!
526
00:38:39,695 --> 00:38:41,322
I'm trying...
527
00:38:41,530 --> 00:38:42,865
Billy, we really need to talk.
528
00:38:45,493 --> 00:38:47,870
Is this when I'm supposed to say,
"How could you?"
529
00:38:48,079 --> 00:38:50,664
Am I supposed to say,
"it's not what it looks like"?
530
00:38:50,873 --> 00:38:52,708
What, are you two fucking?
531
00:39:04,053 --> 00:39:06,555
Welcome to the Sandersons'.
Don't speak more loudly...
532
00:39:06,806 --> 00:39:10,184
than you would at your home. If you
have to go number one, go outside.
533
00:39:10,393 --> 00:39:13,270
If it's number two, you go home.
534
00:39:18,776 --> 00:39:20,736
Why'd you tell me
this was a costume party?
535
00:39:20,945 --> 00:39:23,906
Because it is.
536
00:39:24,115 --> 00:39:25,783
Fag.
537
00:39:26,033 --> 00:39:27,868
Who are you supposed to be,
Super Mario?
538
00:39:28,536 --> 00:39:29,829
Angela Chase.
539
00:39:30,037 --> 00:39:31,914
She of the So-Called Life,
Claire Danes?
540
00:39:32,123 --> 00:39:35,251
If it wasn't on men's curling,
I probably haven't seen it.
541
00:39:35,626 --> 00:39:39,422
- We're the least cool people here.
- No, speak for yourself.
542
00:39:39,630 --> 00:39:41,507
I'm dressed as
Captain Jean-Luc Picard.
543
00:39:41,716 --> 00:39:44,218
Setting off some pheromones.
544
00:39:44,468 --> 00:39:46,721
I thought you were an ice skater.
545
00:39:47,638 --> 00:39:49,890
- Do you like fish sticks?
- Oh, my God!
546
00:39:50,099 --> 00:39:52,476
In Canada, people drink
what they bring to the party.
547
00:39:52,685 --> 00:39:56,272
This whole Marxist alcohol
partition thing is new to me.
548
00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,108
I like to mooch the good stuff.
549
00:39:59,608 --> 00:40:03,738
So Canada, eh?
550
00:40:03,946 --> 00:40:07,616
Is it true you guys
never lock your doors?
551
00:40:29,847 --> 00:40:32,558
Suck it, bitches.
552
00:40:34,518 --> 00:40:36,354
Gag.
553
00:40:51,327 --> 00:40:53,996
I have no witty retort to that.
554
00:40:54,288 --> 00:40:57,833
Just kiss me and make sure Clapton
sees that shit.
555
00:40:58,042 --> 00:40:59,502
Engage.
556
00:41:01,045 --> 00:41:03,422
I am fever!
557
00:41:03,714 --> 00:41:07,176
I hope you're having
as much fun as us, Clapton.
558
00:41:07,426 --> 00:41:08,928
As much fun as Billy had?
559
00:41:10,930 --> 00:41:13,849
If your mind is being controlled
by Wrath of Khan slugs...
560
00:41:14,058 --> 00:41:17,478
I just want you to know
that I am cool with it.
561
00:41:23,025 --> 00:41:24,860
Let's dance, Sander...
562
00:41:25,069 --> 00:41:29,031
because Clapton don't dance.
563
00:41:41,335 --> 00:41:42,670
Not awesome.
564
00:41:56,058 --> 00:41:57,226
I think I'm gonna barf.
565
00:41:59,270 --> 00:42:00,646
Your bra hooked my ring.
566
00:42:00,855 --> 00:42:04,066
Don't stretch my suspenders.
These overalls are vintage 1994.
567
00:42:04,275 --> 00:42:07,236
This is a limited-edition
LeVar Burton Starfleet pinkie ring.
568
00:42:07,403 --> 00:42:10,031
I had to eat Whole Wheat Crackles
for a year to get one.
569
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:12,199
- Creeper. Beam off!
- Trust me.
570
00:42:15,286 --> 00:42:16,871
That dude has tits.
571
00:42:17,288 --> 00:42:18,539
Finally happened for me.
572
00:42:19,582 --> 00:42:23,169
Clapton Davis!
573
00:42:25,004 --> 00:42:27,840
Tonight will prove my theory...
574
00:42:29,133 --> 00:42:31,594
that lone won't go to prom...
575
00:42:32,261 --> 00:42:34,263
with someone
who has been murdered!
576
00:42:36,557 --> 00:42:38,601
Go on, Clapton. I believe in you.
577
00:42:38,809 --> 00:42:42,104
How about you use that motivational
speech to talk Billy out of it?
578
00:42:42,313 --> 00:42:44,273
He's not gonna stop
until you step up.
579
00:42:44,774 --> 00:42:46,776
You just have to lay down the law.
580
00:42:47,443 --> 00:42:48,944
What if I lay down in pain?
581
00:42:49,153 --> 00:42:52,740
Remember, Clapton,
pain don't hurt.
582
00:42:54,116 --> 00:42:56,494
Red shirt. Damn.
583
00:42:58,621 --> 00:42:59,622
All right, Billy.
584
00:43:00,456 --> 00:43:01,957
Clapton Davis.
585
00:43:03,167 --> 00:43:05,294
You are not as much of a pussy
as I thought.
586
00:43:05,461 --> 00:43:08,464
- Do you wanna do this the easy way?
- What's the easy way?
587
00:43:09,173 --> 00:43:13,386
Stop being so smart, all right?
You're dead either way.
588
00:43:13,594 --> 00:43:16,305
Well, thank you
for explaining my op...
589
00:43:20,184 --> 00:43:21,268
Thank God that's not me.
590
00:43:21,477 --> 00:43:23,646
Goal!
591
00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:52,341
It's go time, Clapton.
592
00:43:52,508 --> 00:43:54,468
Shut up, lone!
593
00:43:55,219 --> 00:43:57,430
It's no wonder I broke up with you.
594
00:43:57,638 --> 00:43:59,432
Clapton Davis is a genius!
595
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:04,145
Would you go back in time to punch
Benjamin Franklin and Spike Lee too?
596
00:44:06,230 --> 00:44:08,524
Get out of my face, ho!
597
00:44:08,733 --> 00:44:12,695
And you lied to me. It is not normal
for people's semen to glow in the dark.
598
00:44:12,903 --> 00:44:16,198
Billy, she never saw my semen,
I swear to God.
599
00:44:19,201 --> 00:44:24,290
I cannot believe you just said that
in front of all these people.
600
00:44:26,584 --> 00:44:27,585
Did I win?
601
00:44:58,574 --> 00:45:00,201
What the...?
602
00:45:01,744 --> 00:45:03,996
Why don't you take a picture, homo?
603
00:45:09,794 --> 00:45:14,215
Stop messing with my buzz!
604
00:45:26,769 --> 00:45:29,772
This shocking footage was recorded
by a witness earlier today.
605
00:45:29,980 --> 00:45:32,066
Be warned,
the images here are disturbing.
606
00:45:46,330 --> 00:45:48,249
How you feeling?
607
00:45:48,624 --> 00:45:50,626
Well, my vision's diagonal...
608
00:45:50,793 --> 00:45:53,129
I can't breathe
without thinking about it...
609
00:45:53,337 --> 00:45:55,756
I can hear
other people's thoughts...
610
00:45:55,965 --> 00:45:57,925
and it looks like
you're eating meat.
611
00:45:58,134 --> 00:46:01,303
Other than that, tip-top shape.
612
00:46:01,637 --> 00:46:06,100
Not only do I eat meat,
but I am now a porno star.
613
00:46:07,184 --> 00:46:09,478
Parties are so full of self-discovery.
614
00:46:09,687 --> 00:46:10,980
Moo-licious.
615
00:46:30,833 --> 00:46:33,627
Being a mascot is a proud tradition.
616
00:46:33,836 --> 00:46:36,297
You represent the honor
of Grizzly Lake High.
617
00:46:36,547 --> 00:46:38,341
When you take off
that bear costume...
618
00:46:38,549 --> 00:46:41,510
you should walk like your body
is still covered in fur.
619
00:46:41,677 --> 00:46:45,681
The video of your mammary gland...
620
00:46:45,890 --> 00:46:50,353
was viewed 20,000 times
on the Internet.
621
00:46:50,561 --> 00:46:51,854
- YouTube?
- National Zoology.
622
00:46:52,021 --> 00:46:54,440
- Can I throw up?
- It's also in the news.
623
00:46:54,648 --> 00:46:57,151
Billy Nolan is killed
in the same video.
624
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,695
Who taught you how to make
a snuff porno? Lady Gaga?
625
00:47:00,029 --> 00:47:03,657
Wait. Are you guys
accusing me of something?
626
00:47:07,912 --> 00:47:10,664
Your nipple was exposed
for seven whole seconds.
627
00:47:10,873 --> 00:47:13,834
Is that why two of my brightest
students were killed?
628
00:47:14,043 --> 00:47:15,378
For seven seconds of video?
629
00:47:15,586 --> 00:47:17,213
- Did you all watch it?
- I didn't.
630
00:47:17,421 --> 00:47:19,131
Why not?
631
00:47:19,340 --> 00:47:23,052
I am giving everybody implicated
as being anywhere near Billy Nolan...
632
00:47:23,219 --> 00:47:25,846
on that tape Saturday detention.
633
00:47:26,180 --> 00:47:28,182
- Tomorrow?
- Tomorrow.
634
00:47:28,432 --> 00:47:30,643
- Tomorrow is prom.
- This is murder.
635
00:47:31,018 --> 00:47:33,020
And porn.
There's a killer in Grizzly Lake...
636
00:47:33,270 --> 00:47:36,232
who is affiliated
with people at my school.
637
00:47:36,440 --> 00:47:40,486
Detention is in the library.
It goes from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.
638
00:47:40,695 --> 00:47:43,489
That's right through prom.
639
00:47:43,698 --> 00:47:45,825
I thought Saturday detention
was a myth.
640
00:47:46,033 --> 00:47:47,785
So was ice-skater porn.
641
00:48:02,383 --> 00:48:05,302
Riley, don't ever degrade yourself.
642
00:48:05,636 --> 00:48:08,097
Don't let them make you think
that you're not valuable.
643
00:48:08,723 --> 00:48:10,725
- Mr. Kendall...
- Respect your body.
644
00:48:12,309 --> 00:48:15,730
This is just a big misunderstanding.
645
00:48:16,272 --> 00:48:21,110
A wise man once said that we're all
a bunch of big misunderstandings.
646
00:48:22,278 --> 00:48:24,113
His name was Deepak Chopra.
647
00:48:28,117 --> 00:48:30,745
What difference does it make now?
I'm just...
648
00:48:32,830 --> 00:48:35,291
I'm just a stupid porn star.
649
00:48:37,168 --> 00:48:38,753
No, Riley.
650
00:48:40,004 --> 00:48:43,841
You're a beautiful girl
whose voice just needs to be heard.
651
00:49:06,530 --> 00:49:08,657
I'm a porn star.
652
00:49:09,867 --> 00:49:11,494
Young.
653
00:49:12,453 --> 00:49:14,163
Hot.
654
00:49:14,538 --> 00:49:15,873
Porn.
655
00:49:18,626 --> 00:49:20,127
We just need to take a moment...
656
00:49:20,336 --> 00:49:25,508
to look into each other's eyes
and center our chakra.
657
00:49:26,008 --> 00:49:28,177
You're looking for
something deeper.
658
00:49:28,427 --> 00:49:32,348
Yeah. Yeah, I am. I like older guys.
659
00:49:32,556 --> 00:49:35,476
Like age 36...
660
00:49:35,685 --> 00:49:38,646
or 39 or 35 or something.
661
00:49:39,939 --> 00:49:41,482
Riley.
662
00:49:43,234 --> 00:49:44,860
That's right.
663
00:49:45,736 --> 00:49:48,698
There's always a new way
of looking at each other.
664
00:52:01,497 --> 00:52:03,916
Okay, suspects.
665
00:52:04,125 --> 00:52:07,503
Tell me who the killer is,
and I'll let you go home...
666
00:52:07,670 --> 00:52:09,046
and go to your little prom.
667
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:10,923
Taylor Fisher.
668
00:52:11,132 --> 00:52:12,675
I don't believe you.
669
00:52:12,883 --> 00:52:16,178
We have rights.
You can't lock us up without evidence.
670
00:52:16,846 --> 00:52:20,307
This isn't jail.
671
00:52:20,891 --> 00:52:22,685
It's detention.
672
00:52:38,034 --> 00:52:41,454
Well, we can rule out Gord.
673
00:52:41,662 --> 00:52:43,831
Canadians don't kill
outside their home country.
674
00:52:44,040 --> 00:52:45,875
Yeah, well,
we can count Sander out too.
675
00:52:46,042 --> 00:52:49,462
Nolan was chopped up with an ax.
Ever seen Sander try to swing a bat?
676
00:52:49,670 --> 00:52:50,713
I was sick that day.
677
00:52:50,921 --> 00:52:54,884
You have the arms of an anemic
spider monkey. Definitely not you.
678
00:52:55,051 --> 00:52:57,053
Well, Mimi probably
isn't the killer either.
679
00:52:57,219 --> 00:52:59,221
Her only death comes
from a makeup kit.
680
00:52:59,430 --> 00:53:01,098
We can take Toshiba off the list.
681
00:53:01,515 --> 00:53:03,893
- Why?
- Because you're you.
682
00:53:04,685 --> 00:53:06,395
And it's definitely not Claptonia.
683
00:53:06,645 --> 00:53:09,565
Those two couldn't be apart
long enough to coordinate a killing.
684
00:53:09,774 --> 00:53:11,734
That with lone
gnawing through boyfriends...
685
00:53:11,942 --> 00:53:15,154
like an unfed piranha
makes me think you're both innocent.
686
00:53:15,363 --> 00:53:16,364
Thanks?
687
00:53:16,572 --> 00:53:19,533
You've gone out with, what?
Five guys these past three years?
688
00:53:19,742 --> 00:53:22,787
'90s makeover aside, you're not
reflexive enough to hold a grudge.
689
00:53:22,995 --> 00:53:25,247
And crippling gimpitude
saves your ass.
690
00:53:25,414 --> 00:53:27,708
Having a broken leg is for losers,
you idiot.
691
00:53:28,084 --> 00:53:30,378
All right, then that settles it.
It's Toby T.
692
00:53:30,586 --> 00:53:32,129
- Why is it me?
- Just fess up, Toby.
693
00:53:32,338 --> 00:53:35,591
So I can get out of here, and won't
have to listen to this windbag.
694
00:53:35,758 --> 00:53:38,386
- Take one for the team.
- You guys barely even know me.
695
00:53:38,594 --> 00:53:39,929
That's kind of the problem.
696
00:53:40,179 --> 00:53:42,598
It writes psychotic killer
all over your face.
697
00:53:43,182 --> 00:53:46,727
Mimi is just too obvious
with the rebellious clown makeup...
698
00:53:46,936 --> 00:53:50,272
- ...her hippie parents hate.
- My parents aren't hippies.
699
00:53:50,481 --> 00:53:52,566
- Are you all assholes?
- I'm not.
700
00:53:52,775 --> 00:53:55,611
Look, guys, it's obvious
I have no ties to Billy and Taylor.
701
00:53:55,778 --> 00:53:57,279
Same school, same food chain.
702
00:53:57,488 --> 00:53:59,782
How could you,
strange, unknown quiet guy?
703
00:53:59,990 --> 00:54:01,951
I'm not a killer, I'm just boring.
704
00:54:02,118 --> 00:54:03,619
Toby, you're right.
705
00:54:03,786 --> 00:54:07,248
It can't be any of us.
We're not anguished enough.
706
00:54:07,456 --> 00:54:09,750
Our generation has had
no major struggles.
707
00:54:09,959 --> 00:54:11,544
- What about 9/11?
- Afghanistan?
708
00:54:11,752 --> 00:54:12,753
- Iraq.
- Katrina.
709
00:54:13,004 --> 00:54:14,880
Heath Ledger. What?
710
00:54:15,089 --> 00:54:16,090
Too soon?
711
00:54:16,632 --> 00:54:19,260
The hell do Katrina & the Waves
have to do with it?
712
00:54:19,468 --> 00:54:22,138
Katrina the hurricane.
Wikipedia it, bitch.
713
00:54:22,346 --> 00:54:26,559
It's spelled "encyclopedia," slut bag.
714
00:54:27,476 --> 00:54:29,311
Who's the guy in the hoodie?
715
00:54:30,730 --> 00:54:33,482
My name is Elliot Fink.
716
00:54:33,691 --> 00:54:34,775
I didn't see you.
717
00:54:35,026 --> 00:54:37,987
Nobody really sees me.
718
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:42,408
I've had detention every day
for the last 19 years.
719
00:54:42,616 --> 00:54:44,493
Nineteen years?
The hell did you do?
720
00:54:44,702 --> 00:54:48,789
I... I don't remember.
721
00:56:23,718 --> 00:56:26,345
Took a dump on the windshield
of Woodruff's Cadillac.
722
00:56:26,595 --> 00:56:28,222
Only got a week.
723
00:56:28,472 --> 00:56:31,100
You must be the baddest motherfucker
in school.
724
00:56:31,267 --> 00:56:33,728
Now, Elliot Fink,
you're gonna sit here...
725
00:56:33,936 --> 00:56:35,771
and think about
what you've done.
726
00:56:35,938 --> 00:56:39,608
You'll have detention every day
until I tell you you're reformed.
727
00:56:39,859 --> 00:56:44,363
My school will not be a training ground
for budding pornographers.
728
00:57:02,089 --> 00:57:04,592
Don't look at me, perv.
729
00:57:06,010 --> 00:57:08,596
Can I get a Wi-Fi connection here?
730
00:57:10,306 --> 00:57:12,433
'Nam flashback?
731
00:57:13,434 --> 00:57:15,311
Did you go to this school in 1992?
732
00:57:15,519 --> 00:57:18,481
Yeah, she'll be 65 next week.
It's a surgical wonder.
733
00:57:27,865 --> 00:57:30,951
Apparently, a perfect body
and eyeliner aren't enough...
734
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:32,578
to win the school dance-off.
735
00:57:32,787 --> 00:57:36,874
You need, like, moves and things.
God!
736
00:57:38,793 --> 00:57:42,296
I used to know how to break it down
like C+C Music Factory.
737
00:57:42,505 --> 00:57:43,631
Yeah, flight
738
00:57:43,839 --> 00:57:46,008
Mom, the dance-off is in two days.
739
00:57:46,217 --> 00:57:49,428
All you need to do is swap minds
with my 18-year-old self.
740
00:57:49,637 --> 00:57:53,641
My mind will go into your mind,
into your body...
741
00:57:53,849 --> 00:57:55,434
and win you the dance-off.
742
00:57:55,643 --> 00:57:59,355
Meanwhile, your mind
will travel to 1992.
743
00:57:59,522 --> 00:58:02,274
That way people won't wonder
why there's two of you...
744
00:58:02,483 --> 00:58:03,984
or us, hanging around now.
745
00:58:04,193 --> 00:58:08,197
A couple of things I need to tell you
about boys in 1992.
746
00:58:08,447 --> 00:58:11,492
Christian Slater, Frank Whaley...
747
00:58:11,701 --> 00:58:15,037
oh, and Richard Grieco
are all foxes.
748
00:58:15,204 --> 00:58:16,956
Donnie Wahlberg is bordering sexy.
749
00:58:17,164 --> 00:58:22,003
Oh, and Kevin Costner is slamming
in Prince of Thieves.
750
00:58:22,211 --> 00:58:24,922
Kevin Costner is a douche.
And one other thing...
751
00:58:25,464 --> 00:58:26,507
are you insane?
752
00:58:26,716 --> 00:58:29,969
It's what I always sang to you
when you were a baby.
753
00:58:30,177 --> 00:58:32,179
When you wish...
754
00:58:32,388 --> 00:58:33,639
Shit!
755
00:58:35,391 --> 00:58:38,686
I wish my mother
would go to another planet...
756
00:58:38,894 --> 00:58:43,065
instead of being a drunken has-been
who's full of shit.
757
00:59:21,604 --> 00:59:25,941
So that's how my mind ended up
in my mother's body in 1992.
758
00:59:26,108 --> 00:59:30,571
And how I ended up
in my daughter lone in the present.
759
00:59:30,905 --> 00:59:33,574
But that's all technical science stuff.
760
00:59:42,041 --> 00:59:44,293
Wow, lone really did her research.
761
00:59:47,672 --> 00:59:49,590
Next up, doing ballet...
762
00:59:49,799 --> 00:59:52,093
we have Ripley Jones.
763
00:59:52,301 --> 00:59:53,260
Riley!
764
00:59:53,469 --> 00:59:56,597
Whatever, dude.
You have like three minutes.
765
01:00:16,492 --> 01:00:18,160
You taste like Luke Perry.
766
01:00:21,580 --> 01:00:23,999
- She's a gimp.
- FML!
767
01:00:24,208 --> 01:00:27,128
Every student donating a food item
to help the war victims...
768
01:00:27,336 --> 01:00:29,588
will receive a free pass
to Lethal Weapon 3.
769
01:00:29,797 --> 01:00:32,675
What the heck is so retro
about Kris Kross, dumb-ass?
770
01:00:32,883 --> 01:00:36,470
This week the Science Olympiad
took place in Town Creek.
771
01:00:36,679 --> 01:00:39,932
I am never leaving this place.
772
01:00:40,516 --> 01:00:42,351
This move is sick.
773
01:00:42,518 --> 01:00:44,145
Tighten up that defense line
774
01:00:44,353 --> 01:00:46,439
Said hold that line
775
01:00:46,647 --> 01:00:47,648
This one is...
776
01:00:47,857 --> 01:00:49,859
Oh, hey, Verge,
are you coming out tonight?
777
01:00:50,026 --> 01:00:52,528
We're gonna watch Free jack
on laser disc.
778
01:00:59,410 --> 01:01:03,205
Dear God, please give me the strength
to ask Sloan to prom.
779
01:01:03,414 --> 01:01:08,127
We're meant to be
and she sees the future.
780
01:01:08,419 --> 01:01:12,298
And give some food to those Ethiopian
kids hanging out with Sally Strut hers...
781
01:01:12,506 --> 01:01:14,467
because seeing them
really bums me out...
782
01:01:14,675 --> 01:01:17,595
during Star Trek: Next Generation.
Amen.
783
01:01:21,223 --> 01:01:22,683
Lose your seat?
784
01:01:23,434 --> 01:01:26,729
No, I was just sitting
right over there.
785
01:01:26,896 --> 01:01:31,233
I saw you in cheerleader practice
in the gym yesterday...
786
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:34,862
and I was thinking about it again
in bed last night.
787
01:01:35,696 --> 01:01:39,325
I was just gonna ask you to prom.
788
01:01:40,117 --> 01:01:45,373
I can smell bologna packed
in your lunch. It makes me gag.
789
01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:53,047
You look like a girl!
790
01:01:57,093 --> 01:01:59,929
Sloan probably only likes guys
that look like C. Thomas Howell.
791
01:02:00,179 --> 01:02:03,099
Well, that's just
racial discrimination.
792
01:02:03,307 --> 01:02:06,852
If I can't be part of her future,
there will be no future.
793
01:02:19,490 --> 01:02:20,950
Damn it.
794
01:02:21,575 --> 01:02:25,538
Well, if I'm gonna die, at least I know
I've lived twice as long as Riley.
795
01:02:25,746 --> 01:02:28,457
Just because you're a bitch
doesn't give you dog years.
796
01:02:28,624 --> 01:02:30,960
Says the baby with the stuffed toys.
797
01:02:37,299 --> 01:02:39,593
I think it's Taylor's.
798
01:02:40,803 --> 01:02:44,598
Verge is right.
The killer's right here.
799
01:02:46,642 --> 01:02:49,645
We gotta find out what happens
after the Cinderella murders.
800
01:02:49,812 --> 01:02:52,481
- Cinderella dies.
- Yeah, after that.
801
01:02:52,648 --> 01:02:54,650
What happens in
Cinderella Ill: Blood Ball?
802
01:02:54,817 --> 01:02:57,319
- Movie's not out yet.
- I'll Bit Torrent the work print.
803
01:02:57,528 --> 01:02:58,654
Three, two... Got it!
804
01:02:58,863 --> 01:03:01,323
Damn. The review
by Sherlock Moriarty...
805
01:03:01,490 --> 01:03:03,492
compares it unfavorably
to Hell boy ll...
806
01:03:03,659 --> 01:03:05,494
calling it a "craptasterpiece."
807
01:03:05,745 --> 01:03:07,246
That's it.
808
01:03:14,295 --> 01:03:17,298
If Mr. Pain's giving us detention
on a Saturday...
809
01:03:17,506 --> 01:03:20,843
the least we can do is download
Slashing Beauty 4 for free...
810
01:03:21,010 --> 01:03:24,138
and watch it illegally on the Internet
before it's released.
811
01:03:24,388 --> 01:03:26,349
I wanna have unprotected sex.
812
01:03:26,557 --> 01:03:29,518
How can they make a movie worse
than Cinderella ll?
813
01:03:38,402 --> 01:03:41,489
They say the Beauty Beast
only kills virgins.
814
01:03:42,323 --> 01:03:44,033
I'm saving myself for marriage.
815
01:03:44,533 --> 01:03:46,494
I avoid teenage pregnancy.
816
01:03:49,705 --> 01:03:53,459
Madison. We're gonna die.
817
01:03:53,668 --> 01:03:55,169
If it's life or death...
818
01:03:56,379 --> 01:03:59,215
- What is this, Canadian?
- Canada invented the slasher film...
819
01:03:59,423 --> 01:04:02,718
as well as the "animal plays a sport"
genre, motherfucker.
820
01:04:03,052 --> 01:04:04,261
I'm a virgin.
821
01:04:11,852 --> 01:04:13,729
Take me, Beauty Beast!
822
01:04:13,938 --> 01:04:15,981
Your teeth are so hard!
823
01:04:17,441 --> 01:04:18,526
Suck it!
824
01:04:19,318 --> 01:04:20,361
Goddamn it!
825
01:04:21,070 --> 01:04:23,406
Greg, you asshole.
826
01:04:23,572 --> 01:04:27,535
Now we really do have to use
this time to think about our futures.
827
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:32,998
This movie is so stupid.
828
01:04:33,207 --> 01:04:35,918
Let's go back to class
and fall asleep.
829
01:04:37,753 --> 01:04:40,589
None of you felons...
830
01:04:40,756 --> 01:04:45,511
will ever graduate!
831
01:04:53,853 --> 01:04:56,022
What is this commotion?
832
01:04:56,230 --> 01:05:01,402
- We're about to get murdered.
- Someday you will be old, kids.
833
01:05:01,610 --> 01:05:04,739
Do you believe that our president,
Barack Obama, murdered anyone...
834
01:05:04,947 --> 01:05:07,033
when he was in high school?
835
01:05:08,284 --> 01:05:10,703
O.J. maybe. Not Obama.
836
01:05:10,911 --> 01:05:13,706
- I think that's racist, sir.
- What is? It is not.
837
01:05:13,914 --> 01:05:17,793
Why did you go from Obama to O.J.
instead of to Dahmer or someone?
838
01:05:18,002 --> 01:05:22,298
I, Mimi, am the principal
of this school...
839
01:05:22,506 --> 01:05:25,468
and you have not even completed
your schooling.
840
01:05:26,135 --> 01:05:27,595
Besides, I voted for McCain.
841
01:05:27,803 --> 01:05:30,848
In conclusion, stop fucking around.
842
01:05:31,307 --> 01:05:33,434
- Are we allowed to read?
- No, Hitachi.
843
01:05:33,809 --> 01:05:34,810
Toshiba.
844
01:05:35,019 --> 01:05:37,146
Lone. Sorry, baby.
845
01:05:37,396 --> 01:05:38,814
- "Baby"?
- Weird.
846
01:05:39,607 --> 01:05:40,941
Who is that?
847
01:05:41,150 --> 01:05:42,818
My name's Elliot Fink.
848
01:05:43,027 --> 01:05:44,779
Nobody say a word.
Nobody sneeze.
849
01:05:45,154 --> 01:05:49,450
Nobody look at anything
except your own eyeballs.
850
01:05:50,659 --> 01:05:52,119
There's a killer amongst us.
851
01:05:53,496 --> 01:05:55,623
You've read Brave New World.
852
01:05:55,831 --> 01:05:58,292
Like Big Brother, I'm watching you.
853
01:05:58,501 --> 01:05:59,669
Big Brother was in 1984.
854
01:05:59,919 --> 01:06:05,174
You have no future in my opinion.
855
01:06:09,845 --> 01:06:10,971
What now?
856
01:06:11,180 --> 01:06:14,141
These kids should be happy to be
away from their Yu-Gi-Oh.
857
01:06:14,350 --> 01:06:17,186
What the hell are you doing
out of detention?
858
01:06:28,364 --> 01:06:29,865
I solved the equation.
859
01:06:30,032 --> 01:06:33,369
Cool. You passed Trig. In other news,
somebody's murdering us.
860
01:06:33,577 --> 01:06:34,620
None of that matters.
861
01:06:34,829 --> 01:06:37,957
If these numbers are correct,
the world is ending in 10 minutes.
862
01:06:38,165 --> 01:06:41,168
- The whole world?
- Yeah, all of Grizzly Lake.
863
01:06:41,377 --> 01:06:44,171
- That's not the whole world.
- You been outside Grizzly Lake?
864
01:06:44,380 --> 01:06:45,715
- No.
- What's the difference?
865
01:06:45,965 --> 01:06:46,966
Whoa-kay.
866
01:06:47,174 --> 01:06:49,218
Nobody knows who you are.
Why believe you?
867
01:06:49,468 --> 01:06:51,512
In 9.4 minutes,
everyone you know...
868
01:06:52,555 --> 01:06:55,141
your friends, your parents...
869
01:06:55,349 --> 01:06:58,519
your extensions, goes bye-bye.
870
01:06:58,728 --> 01:07:00,479
This destruction is man-made.
871
01:07:00,855 --> 01:07:04,483
If it's man-made, we can kill it.
872
01:07:04,692 --> 01:07:08,571
Score one for Captain 9021 -Obvious.
How do we stop it?
873
01:07:09,071 --> 01:07:12,408
That's the catch. I said it was
happening in nine minutes...
874
01:07:12,575 --> 01:07:15,661
but it's happening in nine minutes
in the year 1992.
875
01:07:15,870 --> 01:07:16,871
What the hell?
876
01:07:17,705 --> 01:07:20,416
Somebody must have
gone back to 1992.
877
01:07:20,583 --> 01:07:24,378
In nine minutes, they're changing
history by blowing everything up.
878
01:07:24,587 --> 01:07:26,213
None of you will have
even been born.
879
01:07:26,422 --> 01:07:28,674
- The end of the world's coming?
- Yeah.
880
01:07:28,883 --> 01:07:30,676
- In 1992?
- Yes!
881
01:07:30,885 --> 01:07:32,887
- 1992.
- We're talking time travel?
882
01:07:33,095 --> 01:07:36,098
- There's no such thing.
- Technically it's a temporal wormhole...
883
01:07:36,265 --> 01:07:39,602
based on an 11 -dimensional string
model of the holographic universe.
884
01:07:39,810 --> 01:07:42,396
It'd require a highly advanced
mathematical construct...
885
01:07:42,605 --> 01:07:43,939
far beyond M-theory...
886
01:07:44,148 --> 01:07:46,525
probably alien in origin.
887
01:07:48,110 --> 01:07:49,528
What?
888
01:07:49,737 --> 01:07:53,074
I've been building the school bear
into a time machine for science class.
889
01:07:53,282 --> 01:07:56,535
So you're telling me it works? Cool.
890
01:07:56,744 --> 01:07:58,120
I hate this school.
891
01:07:58,454 --> 01:07:59,789
Where's Sander?
892
01:07:59,955 --> 01:08:01,499
And Clapton.
893
01:08:01,957 --> 01:08:04,960
He's terrified of the future.
Nobody hated Verge like Clapton.
894
01:08:05,127 --> 01:08:07,713
Clapton doesn't hate anyone
except Billy Nolan.
895
01:08:07,922 --> 01:08:09,215
Also dead.
896
01:08:09,423 --> 01:08:10,758
Oh, shit.
897
01:08:11,050 --> 01:08:14,595
I'll drop my extreme skepticism due to
the potential urgency of the situation.
898
01:08:14,845 --> 01:08:18,140
- How do we use your time machine?
- You'll break it.
899
01:08:18,307 --> 01:08:20,935
- I haven't been graded yet.
- You won't be graded at all...
900
01:08:21,143 --> 01:08:24,313
if you haven't been born.
Show me how it works.
901
01:08:24,563 --> 01:08:27,775
No, show me.
I don't trust anyone right now.
902
01:08:27,983 --> 01:08:29,318
Maybe we don't trust you.
903
01:08:29,485 --> 01:08:33,489
It's personal.
I have to stop Clapton from killing us.
904
01:08:33,698 --> 01:08:36,659
Someone took this claw
from my locker.
905
01:09:01,684 --> 01:09:04,353
I'm sorry. But this is so cool.
906
01:09:04,603 --> 01:09:06,022
How much did those cost?
907
01:09:06,814 --> 01:09:07,982
A hundred dollars.
908
01:09:08,190 --> 01:09:09,608
For overalls?
909
01:09:09,817 --> 01:09:13,195
Did your parents sell out
to an evil corporate conglomerate?
910
01:09:15,364 --> 01:09:17,616
I'm never leaving this place.
911
01:09:46,020 --> 01:09:48,731
- Schwing!
- Schwing!
912
01:09:50,691 --> 01:09:52,902
That's why Mom left you.
913
01:09:58,741 --> 01:10:02,578
Okay, class, we talked last week
about quantum states.
914
01:10:02,787 --> 01:10:08,250
Now, can anybody tell me
what describes a mixed state?
915
01:10:08,417 --> 01:10:10,920
- New Mexico.
- No, Clapton.
916
01:10:11,087 --> 01:10:14,423
You already received your 15 percent
for participation mark.
917
01:10:14,590 --> 01:10:17,426
You don't have to give
the wrong answers anymore.
918
01:10:17,677 --> 01:10:20,346
But nice work on your essay
on the Heisenberg principle.
919
01:10:20,554 --> 01:10:23,432
It was incorrect but it had heart.
920
01:10:23,599 --> 01:10:25,393
I gave you an A.
921
01:10:26,102 --> 01:10:28,104
He's a killer!
922
01:10:28,562 --> 01:10:30,064
I don't know this person.
923
01:10:30,272 --> 01:10:33,526
My class time will not be spent
on practical jokes.
924
01:10:33,734 --> 01:10:36,028
Clapton Davis is
my brightest student.
925
01:10:36,237 --> 01:10:39,615
Brightest?
He never does his homework.
926
01:10:39,782 --> 01:10:42,910
We figured it out, Clapton.
All this death is just a game to you.
927
01:10:43,119 --> 01:10:46,247
Why would I kill people? I chased
Sander through the time machine...
928
01:10:46,455 --> 01:10:49,291
after he got Gord, lost him.
Been stuck here for six weeks.
929
01:10:49,458 --> 01:10:52,461
- But I'm on the honor roll.
- So then why does the world go away?
930
01:10:52,628 --> 01:10:54,588
Wait, is that why Verge
is building a bomb?
931
01:10:54,797 --> 01:10:56,632
- A bomb?
- Thought he was extra-crediting.
932
01:10:56,799 --> 01:10:58,592
In Osama bin Ladinism?
933
01:10:58,801 --> 01:11:00,553
I bet Sander's helping him.
934
01:11:00,803 --> 01:11:03,305
Unbelievable. You let
a mass murderer feel your bosom.
935
01:11:03,514 --> 01:11:06,475
Oh, my God.
We have to kill Sander.
936
01:11:06,642 --> 01:11:09,937
What are we, monsters?
Let's just kidnap him.
937
01:11:12,606 --> 01:11:15,484
And scene. Thank you.
938
01:11:15,651 --> 01:11:16,902
Shit!
939
01:11:18,988 --> 01:11:21,782
If time travel were to happen,
it would probably require...
940
01:11:21,991 --> 01:11:26,454
a huge electrical force
of around 1.21, 1.22 gigawatts.
941
01:11:26,662 --> 01:11:30,958
See how crossing the nodes of your flux
capacitor generates a tachyon blast?
942
01:11:31,167 --> 01:11:33,586
I don't know who you are
or what you're trying...
943
01:11:33,794 --> 01:11:36,255
The way this is set up,
it's gonna blow your face off.
944
01:11:36,464 --> 01:11:37,923
Yeah, I'd like to see that.
945
01:11:38,132 --> 01:11:41,344
You defy death and turn into
a douche bag like Spock.
946
01:11:41,635 --> 01:11:43,804
Here, I made you a mix tape.
947
01:11:44,013 --> 01:11:45,306
That's so awesome.
948
01:11:46,682 --> 01:11:50,811
- Are you from, like, the year 2000?
- Yes, I come from the time where...
949
01:11:51,020 --> 01:11:53,397
computers and machines
have overtaken the world...
950
01:11:53,606 --> 01:11:56,984
and enslaved human bodies
as sources of infinite electrical power.
951
01:11:58,194 --> 01:11:59,987
That's stupid.
The food it would take...
952
01:12:00,196 --> 01:12:02,782
If you're not careful,
you'll create a chain of events...
953
01:12:02,990 --> 01:12:05,868
leading to the complete annihilation
of the human race.
954
01:12:06,035 --> 01:12:09,955
Now make that bomb go off.
955
01:12:10,331 --> 01:12:12,833
I wanna kill everyone because
they snubbed me for prom.
956
01:12:13,042 --> 01:12:14,960
- That works.
- I like how you think, Mr...?
957
01:12:15,169 --> 01:12:17,380
Keanu.
958
01:12:19,048 --> 01:12:20,883
Excuse me.
Where is your hall pass?
959
01:12:21,092 --> 01:12:23,386
- Gosh-fucking-darn it.
- You get his legs.
960
01:12:27,056 --> 01:12:29,392
- Oh, my face!
- It didn't work.
961
01:12:31,936 --> 01:12:32,978
Don't be so sure.
962
01:12:34,438 --> 01:12:36,023
Come on!
963
01:13:12,101 --> 01:13:13,936
Riley, get back in the time machine.
964
01:13:28,117 --> 01:13:30,411
We've been sent back
six minutes before doomsday.
965
01:13:30,619 --> 01:13:32,038
We should have grabbed Verge.
966
01:13:32,246 --> 01:13:34,957
He had enough info to know
how to make the bomb go off.
967
01:13:35,124 --> 01:13:36,459
- New strategy.
- What?
968
01:13:36,625 --> 01:13:38,961
I don't know.
I'm saying we need one.
969
01:13:47,303 --> 01:13:48,804
I got nothing.
970
01:13:51,474 --> 01:13:56,437
If we weren't all dead in two minutes,
I would masturbate so hard...
971
01:13:56,645 --> 01:13:59,732
- ...to lone tonight.
- Lone? You mean Sloan.
972
01:14:00,816 --> 01:14:04,570
Girls like Sloan will learn what happens
when they pass up guys like me.
973
01:14:07,156 --> 01:14:08,491
Let me see your bomb.
974
01:14:09,158 --> 01:14:10,493
- That's it.
- What's what?
975
01:14:10,701 --> 01:14:14,789
Verge is doing this because she broke
his heart. We force lone to go with him.
976
01:14:14,997 --> 01:14:17,083
Lone's going to prom with me.
Forget it.
977
01:14:17,291 --> 01:14:20,795
She'll go to prom with you in 2011
and with him in 1992.
978
01:14:21,003 --> 01:14:23,255
Yeah, I still don't think
I'm okay with that.
979
01:14:23,964 --> 01:14:25,091
Lone!
980
01:14:27,510 --> 01:14:30,846
You'll blow this for me.
I traded places with my mom.
981
01:14:31,013 --> 01:14:32,306
My name here is Sloan.
982
01:14:35,518 --> 01:14:36,977
Don't I get a kiss?
983
01:14:37,687 --> 01:14:38,979
No.
984
01:14:39,188 --> 01:14:41,107
Damn, I knew Sting
was too good to be true.
985
01:14:41,315 --> 01:14:43,609
- Your mom's a bitch.
- It was to win the contest.
986
01:14:43,818 --> 01:14:46,487
- I was gonna come back but...
- Being cool is that important?
987
01:14:46,696 --> 01:14:49,323
How hard is it to be cool in 1992?
988
01:14:49,532 --> 01:14:52,993
Plus, my mom's body fits great,
except...
989
01:14:53,202 --> 01:14:55,830
I think I may be pregnant.
990
01:14:57,206 --> 01:14:59,125
Lone's giving birth to herself?
991
01:14:59,333 --> 01:15:00,710
I failed that class.
992
01:15:00,876 --> 01:15:04,463
You know how cool people
always refer to guacamole as "guac"?
993
01:15:04,672 --> 01:15:07,383
- I invented that.
- Lone, you have to ask Verge to prom.
994
01:15:07,591 --> 01:15:09,677
Waiting for the punch line.
995
01:15:09,885 --> 01:15:13,222
People are getting killed. He's gonna
blow up Grizzly Lake in 56 seconds.
996
01:15:13,472 --> 01:15:15,391
You can keep living in 1992
if you want...
997
01:15:15,599 --> 01:15:18,227
but the fate of everyone
you've ever known goes away...
998
01:15:18,477 --> 01:15:20,396
unless you ask Verge to prom
right now.
999
01:15:20,563 --> 01:15:24,066
Screw that! I can't be forced
to go to prom with someone.
1000
01:15:24,275 --> 01:15:26,360
That's like date rape.
1001
01:15:26,569 --> 01:15:28,571
You heard of
the Dead Cheerleader Nationals?
1002
01:15:28,904 --> 01:15:30,698
They don't exist.
1003
01:15:30,906 --> 01:15:32,867
Verge, I was wondering...
1004
01:15:33,367 --> 01:15:35,077
What are you guys working on?
1005
01:15:35,244 --> 01:15:36,996
Now, lone. Eighteen seconds!
1006
01:15:37,204 --> 01:15:40,166
- Will you be my prom date?
- Your hair can look like Sharon Stone?
1007
01:15:40,374 --> 01:15:41,375
- What?
- What are you doing?
1008
01:15:41,584 --> 01:15:42,835
- Fine!
- Nine seconds.
1009
01:15:43,044 --> 01:15:45,046
- You go full tongue?
- Okay.
1010
01:15:45,254 --> 01:15:46,547
Cowabunga.
1011
01:15:47,298 --> 01:15:49,342
We can use my
Pizza Pitt coupons first.
1012
01:16:02,772 --> 01:16:04,690
Weren't we able to jump through
last time?
1013
01:16:04,899 --> 01:16:07,401
We surpassed the spatial
temporal limit of time travel.
1014
01:16:07,610 --> 01:16:09,236
What is that?
You just made that up.
1015
01:16:09,445 --> 01:16:11,530
Toshiba must have put
an on-off switch here.
1016
01:16:11,739 --> 01:16:13,908
Let's see.
1017
01:16:16,452 --> 01:16:17,912
Found it
1018
01:16:22,291 --> 01:16:24,418
Come on!
1019
01:16:24,627 --> 01:16:27,129
That girl is going down on that bear.
1020
01:16:27,296 --> 01:16:30,299
- Come on!
- I knew that ass looked familiar.
1021
01:16:31,801 --> 01:16:34,220
- Come on, you bitch!
- Nice.
1022
01:16:36,555 --> 01:16:37,723
Who's her prom date?
1023
01:16:38,599 --> 01:16:40,726
All his parts are still working.
1024
01:16:40,935 --> 01:16:42,812
- Yeah, we gotta go.
- Come on.
1025
01:16:46,565 --> 01:16:48,609
Not so fast.
1026
01:16:48,818 --> 01:16:49,819
Oh, crap.
1027
01:17:12,383 --> 01:17:15,261
So everyone left detention
after Verge and Gord got killed?
1028
01:17:15,469 --> 01:17:18,848
Our band may not be the Drunges,
but I wouldn't say we got killed.
1029
01:17:19,015 --> 01:17:21,642
Oh, Principal Pimping,
don't listen to the haters.
1030
01:17:21,851 --> 01:17:23,811
You are my freakasaurus.
1031
01:17:24,854 --> 01:17:28,816
Since our lead vocalist is too busy
getting molested by Mrs. Verge...
1032
01:17:29,025 --> 01:17:31,485
I quit, I quit, I'm too wasted.
1033
01:17:31,694 --> 01:17:33,529
Verge! Verge! Verge!
1034
01:17:33,696 --> 01:17:37,533
I guess I'll sing the next song.
This one goes out to lone.
1035
01:17:37,700 --> 01:17:41,662
Because, lone,
you are my field of gold.
1036
01:17:41,871 --> 01:17:43,581
Hit it, Gord.
1037
01:17:46,834 --> 01:17:50,796
Toby T knows every
post-Police Sting album.
1038
01:17:53,215 --> 01:17:56,093
We changed the fabric
of space-time.
1039
01:17:56,344 --> 01:17:59,513
That or the bear fumes
have gotten me delusional.
1040
01:18:03,392 --> 01:18:07,229
- An A. That should do it.
- Verge!
1041
01:18:08,522 --> 01:18:10,358
Nineteen years ago today...
1042
01:18:10,566 --> 01:18:13,527
I met the kindest man
I could ever imagine.
1043
01:18:13,736 --> 01:18:16,072
Who gave you the right to get
so much older than me?
1044
01:18:16,280 --> 01:18:19,325
Strange things happen
when you're young.
1045
01:18:19,533 --> 01:18:22,912
No! The punch bowl has been spiked.
You will not drink that, young lady.
1046
01:18:23,079 --> 01:18:25,623
Don't talk to me that way,
young lady.
1047
01:18:26,248 --> 01:18:30,127
All right, lovebirds. I'm gonna steal
my hottie and grab some guac.
1048
01:18:31,253 --> 01:18:32,380
Guac.
1049
01:18:32,588 --> 01:18:35,091
And the world just threw up a little.
1050
01:18:35,257 --> 01:18:38,260
- "Lovebirds"? Are we dating now?
- You got a problem with that?
1051
01:18:38,427 --> 01:18:39,762
Students.
1052
01:18:39,929 --> 01:18:44,767
I hate to interrupt but it is now time to
announce your prom king and queen.
1053
01:18:44,934 --> 01:18:46,936
Oh, you all know what the deal is.
1054
01:18:47,103 --> 01:18:48,688
Riley, Clapton...
1055
01:18:49,939 --> 01:18:52,149
come on up here and dance.
1056
01:18:54,318 --> 01:18:55,611
- Clapton don't da...
- Shut up.
1057
01:18:55,820 --> 01:18:58,781
If you don't dance with me,
I will murder every last inch of you.
1058
01:18:59,115 --> 01:19:02,284
Well, in that case,
hold on a second.
1059
01:19:05,913 --> 01:19:06,914
Clapton don't dance.
1060
01:19:07,790 --> 01:19:09,875
So they say.
But when studying Road House...
1061
01:19:10,084 --> 01:19:12,586
I got hooked on the rest
of Patrick Swayze's oeuvre.
1062
01:19:12,795 --> 01:19:14,922
If he can look cool dirty dancing...
1063
01:21:03,906 --> 01:21:06,534
ls everything really back to normal?
1064
01:21:07,702 --> 01:21:12,331
I guess if me getting an A and saving
the universe is considered normal.
1065
01:21:13,416 --> 01:21:18,170
Well, maybe normal's
not all it's cracked up to be.
1066
01:21:33,644 --> 01:21:34,937
We didn't change everything.
1067
01:21:55,958 --> 01:21:58,711
I mean, look at how tight
his jeans are.
1068
01:21:59,462 --> 01:22:01,714
- He's totally gay.
- Oh, you piece of shit!
1069
01:22:01,922 --> 01:22:04,800
You should have fucked me.
1070
01:22:07,887 --> 01:22:10,139
Think you can kill people
because you're a virgin?
1071
01:22:10,306 --> 01:22:12,391
That's the douchiest thing
I've ever heard.
1072
01:22:12,600 --> 01:22:15,978
Sander, I want my fish sticks.
1073
01:22:16,645 --> 01:22:17,772
Hey!
1074
01:22:17,980 --> 01:22:19,732
I stopped wearing Ed Hardy
junior year.
1075
01:22:19,940 --> 01:22:24,070
I'm sorry that you're all too busy
playing Sims Grizzly Lake to notice!
1076
01:22:24,278 --> 01:22:27,990
- Christian Audigier is the same shit.
- Really? Whatever.
1077
01:22:28,199 --> 01:22:30,785
- You're all Gossip Girls with Corollas!
- I take the bus.
1078
01:22:30,993 --> 01:22:34,914
And like wearing a movie mask
is so original.
1079
01:22:35,122 --> 01:22:36,499
Read a book.
1080
01:22:36,707 --> 01:22:39,293
It's called post-irony!
1081
01:22:39,502 --> 01:22:42,630
I used to think you were just some
middle-class chump with no game.
1082
01:22:42,838 --> 01:22:44,465
But those pity points ran out.
1083
01:22:44,965 --> 01:22:50,846
Oh, pity me from the wrist-slitting
herbivore over here?
1084
01:22:53,140 --> 01:22:54,809
"Clapton Davis doesn't love me.
1085
01:22:55,017 --> 01:22:57,645
Please kill me, God!"
1086
01:22:57,853 --> 01:22:59,939
You are pathetic!
1087
01:23:00,147 --> 01:23:03,192
All of your Grizzly Lake friends
are pathetic!
1088
01:23:05,695 --> 01:23:07,154
Except me. I'm all right.
1089
01:23:07,363 --> 01:23:09,699
God, why wasn't I born
someplace cool, like Orlando?
1090
01:23:10,157 --> 01:23:11,200
God, you're a dick.
1091
01:23:11,534 --> 01:23:14,995
It breaks my spirit to see that bra size
wasted on someone like you.
1092
01:23:23,879 --> 01:23:26,215
You're about to be spanked
by the power of Swayze.
1093
01:23:26,382 --> 01:23:28,384
All Road House had were his fists.
1094
01:23:28,551 --> 01:23:31,804
In Under Siege,
Steven Seagal was a master chef.
1095
01:23:52,742 --> 01:23:54,493
Your fighting style is so obnoxious.
1096
01:23:54,744 --> 01:23:59,540
Seagal in On Deadly Ground.
Impenetrable defense.
1097
01:24:35,242 --> 01:24:37,495
Oh, God!
1098
01:24:52,635 --> 01:24:54,095
L90tyou.
1099
01:24:54,303 --> 01:24:55,930
You got yourself.
1100
01:25:28,004 --> 01:25:31,632
Just another dead teenager
in Grizzly Lake.
1101
01:25:32,633 --> 01:25:35,011
I think he'll be the last.
1102
01:25:52,236 --> 01:25:55,698
Once upon a time,
the planet didn't burst into flames...
1103
01:25:55,906 --> 01:25:59,035
everybody didn't die,
and life kept on...
1104
01:25:59,243 --> 01:26:02,663
even though Sander thought that
he was the only one who mattered.
1105
01:26:02,872 --> 01:26:04,665
But every one of us was...
1106
01:26:07,209 --> 01:26:09,211
a prince...
1107
01:26:15,134 --> 01:26:16,344
a princess...
1108
01:26:22,224 --> 01:26:24,060
a child...
1109
01:26:29,690 --> 01:26:30,691
a grown-up
1110
01:26:34,445 --> 01:26:36,530
someone cool.
1111
01:26:38,908 --> 01:26:41,410
If you and Verge can't get home
at a reasonable hour...
1112
01:26:41,660 --> 01:26:43,662
there's no Twitter for a month.
1113
01:26:43,871 --> 01:26:46,415
Oh, that's so unfair.
1114
01:26:46,665 --> 01:26:49,669
You're gonna let your daughter
ground you like that?
1115
01:26:49,877 --> 01:26:51,879
Yeah, good luck with that.
1116
01:26:56,884 --> 01:27:00,763
Sander saw no future for us
because he lived in the past.
1117
01:27:02,056 --> 01:27:04,225
So his experiment
was to end time itself.
1118
01:27:06,602 --> 01:27:08,562
But we now know
the greatest experiment...
1119
01:27:08,771 --> 01:27:12,108
isn't traveling through time
or making bombs.
1120
01:27:18,280 --> 01:27:20,074
The only way to change the past...
1121
01:27:22,993 --> 01:27:24,245
is to change the present.
1122
01:27:24,453 --> 01:27:29,667
So Sander was wrong. Even if
Grizzly Lake is lame, it's just a start.
1123
01:27:29,959 --> 01:27:32,253
A beginning, not an end.
1124
01:27:32,461 --> 01:27:36,424
And... And...
1125
01:27:37,633 --> 01:27:39,885
I can't think to this song.
1126
01:27:47,935 --> 01:27:51,147
We're live in Grizzly Lake
where what appears to be a UFO...
1127
01:27:51,355 --> 01:27:53,941
is descending
on a suburban commune...
1128
01:27:54,483 --> 01:27:57,611
I am a spokesman for the race alien
to your planet Earth.
1129
01:27:57,820 --> 01:28:01,949
First, we assimilated Canada and I
took the exact form of a Canadian.
1130
01:28:02,158 --> 01:28:04,160
I am part of a vegetable species.
1131
01:28:04,326 --> 01:28:06,454
You stupid humans
eat our sons and daughters...
1132
01:28:06,662 --> 01:28:08,456
because you have
no self-confidence.
1133
01:28:08,998 --> 01:28:12,960
It's just high school.
It's not the end of the world.
84271