All language subtitles for Casomai (2002)

Sure it's around here?

I think so.

Look, let's ask this man.

- San Gabriele, please?
- San Michele.

- That's it!
- It's another 2 km...

...then 300 mt on foot.

Thank you.

- Gabriele.
- It ends in "ele"!

Two kms and we're there.
I deserve a kiss.

- You're getting old.
- I'm not 20 anymore.

It's beautiful.

- Like it?
- It's lovely, it's tiny.

I remembered it bigger.

They're paper.

- The leaves too?
- No.

Anyone here?

Can we come in?

What do you think?

It's beautiful.

- Know where we can find the priest?
- I'm the priest.

Nothing ever happens here.
Blessing the departed...

...afternoon rosary. Confessing
an old dear who rarely sins.

So I repair the church.

Help yourselves.

Tell me, are you believers?

We're baptised.
Like most people.

Why do you want to marry in church?

Frankly, it's for our families,

so we thought we'd make the ceremony

...a bit special.
- I came here as a child.

I'd like to help. Especially as
I've never done a wedding here.

Have you done the preparation?

- Meaning?
- The wedding preparation.

Not with the life we lead.

- Have you been together long?
- Almost a year.

How do you see marriage?

- It's not easy to sum up.
- Two people in love...

...being together, having kids.
- A life project.

That's material. Give me an image,
a desire, a dream.

Sometimes I'm spellbound
by figure-skating contests...

...I see on TV.
They're usually couples.

They fascinate me because in spite
of being on slippery terrain,

they always seem
to be in perfect harmony.

- You know what I mean?
- Very well.

- That's a beautiful image.
- Thank you.

- Do you agree?
- Sort of. You never told me that.

I've just realised,
when I watch those contests...

...the music never "weds"...
That's the word!

I'd expect the music to be...

...more passionate, more exotic.

Congratulations.
You have a vivid imagination!

You've given me something to ponder.

- We'll have a nice wedding.
- We hope so.

The paper flowers are beautiful.

- Could we use them for the ceremony?
- Mena makes those.

A widow who lives with me.
Here she comes now!

- Mena!
- Good morning.

- What have you cooked?
- Polenta and stew.

In the name of the Father and
of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.

That's how Tommaso
and Stefania see marriage.

I liked that image.

A precarious balance
on a treacherous surface,

where only mutual
trust and experience

can ensure concrete results,

day after day.

St Augustine says
there are two terrible things

that can happen to a human being.

The first is a life without hope.

The second,
which I feel is worse,

is to believe
in an unfounded hope.

Here's my wish today
for our two skaters.

Build a solid foundation on love,

for a future rich in true hope.

Amen.

You may stand.

Tommaso and Stefania,
repeat after me.

- I pledge eternal fidelity.
- I pledge eternal fidelity.

- In joy and pain.
- In joy and pain.

In sickness and in health.

To love and honour you
every day of my life.

Or nearly every day.

Go on.

Or nearly every day.

Leaving an open door behind you.
One little lapse won't mean...

...the end of the world.
It happens a lot.

Temptation will add spice
to your life.

For they say a minor transgression
does no harm.

Be tolerant in your work,
not towards each other.

And when you're old,
you can look for someone else...

- As for children...
- What are you saying?

At last! Someone's stopped me!

- Who are you?
- The groom's father.

- Is something wrong?
- Do you have to ask?

What's this now?

Tommaso and Stefania wanted
a special ceremony

and I'm happy
to grant their wish.

They're right, we need special
ceremonies, and this could be it.

Let me remind you
we're in the Lord's house.

The Lord? I don't think
anything shocks Him anymore.

- You're spoiling things.
- Don't say that.

I'm just trying to understand.
I'm marrying two strangers.

But I know that they have

a 14% chance of splitting up,

a 58% chance of being unfaithful,
a 17% chance of being unhappy.

I'll stop there
because I start to get upset.

What do I do? Act normally?

You're the ones closest to them.
That's why you're here.

- Who are you?
- A friend of the bride.

- A close friend?
- Very close.

- What can you tell us?
- About what?

What can you tell us about them?

They're two excellent skaters.

No more poetic images.
I want facts.

They met a year ago,
thanks to me.

Stefania and I work together.

Look!

Look!

Don't smile.

Stand.

Harder.

Can I move?

- A bad start.
- We'll be here all night.

Look upwards.

Don't you think the agency guy
looks like Giorgio? Your ex.

He looks like a Pokemon to me.

Come on! He's cuter than Giorgio.

- Stefania!
- Yes!

I don't like it!
Look at the state of her!

That's what you asked me for.
Just tell me what you want.

I can't sense the worry.
Make her more borderline.

- She'll look like a mask.
- Will you do as I say or not?

- I've always done as you say.
- So carry on!

I don't think it's the make-up.
I think the pose is wrong.

I'd soften the make-up, in fact.

Stefi?

Will you pick up the phone?

It's me.
Am I bothering you?

Hello.

What time is it?

You should have seen Federico's face
when you left with the Pokemon.

- He wishes he were a woman.
- Why? Isn't he effeminate enough?

Are you crazy?

No, we just talked.

Not one little kiss? How boring!

- Did you swap numbers?
- He gave me his.

He mentioned a party.

Stefania, you're so stubborn.

I don't know anyone there. Besides,
I told Monica we'd see a movie.

You can see a movie tomorrow.

- Okay. I'll go with you.
- What about Claudio?

I know, he's a worthless shit.
What about lunch?

I'll be right there.

Old Tommaso did it!

- Which one?
- The one in white.

- Who is she?
- Stefania, the make-up girl.

I don't like them much.

- Have you screwed her?
- Of course not!

- What did you do...
- Give me a break!

I've never seen you like this.
You're being secretive.

You've fallen in love.

Hello?

Hi! How are you?

Yes, I'm just a little tired.

What time will you be back?

I'm free tonight.

No, I haven't seen it.
I'd like to.

I'll call you later then. Bye.

- That was her.
- You sweetheart!

I sort out husband and kid to come
out with you and you dump me?

- Let's go out without men!
- It's awhile since I had...

- I want all the gory details.
- His name's Tommaso.

- He's in love.
- He told you that?

- No way. Anyhow she's very pretty.
- And blind?

Everyone wanted to know
all the details.

As though we were
Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.

But we hadn't even kissed.

But they all wanted
to know if we'd...

Know what I mean?

Such interest is nice.
It's good to feel approved of.

You think: If they all say the same,
it must be true.

Maybe they see things I can't.

Personally their opinions blocked me
a little. I alone had doubts.

But not about her. I was scared
it would end as always.

You wake up one morning and realise
you're no longer in love.

No, not me. I felt relaxed about it.
I had no worries because we talked.

- At last! How many times?
- Don't start.

- At last! How many times?
- Don't start.

He brought me breakfast in bed.

She can actually talk.

Your voice has changed.

Fresh, reactive... Reactive!

You fucked?

Don't tell me that's her!
Because she's very beautiful.

She's a new woman.

I reckon you fuck.

Looks like she hooked you.

He's better than the last.

- Than Giorgio?
- They look alike.

He's a bit of a devil.
Watch out.

- Why?
- Know who he's with?

- He's with someone?
- Fucking her.

- Who?
- The Campari ad girl.

- How do you know?
- Rumours going around.

They weren't doing it
to be mean. No.

It's just that one rumour leads
to another and things degenerate.

I wanted to ask you something.

I tried not to, but I have to.

Are you really screwing
the Campari girl?

Are you screwing her?

- Were you?
- Yes.

- Oh!
- I went out with her.

- But it's all in the past now.
- What's the past?

You want to know?
The past is before I met you.

You say it's over. Does she know?

I never told her it was over.
It wasn't serious.

It's always better to say
very little to women.

- He said he's stopped seeing her?
- Yes.

So trust him.

- Hi, Tommy!
- Hi!

- How are you?
- Great.

- You're in shape.
- I hear you're going steady.

- You heard?
- It's a small world.

- I wanted to tell you.
- That's no problem.

- Just to set things straight.
- You sweetheart.

You're in love. I can tell.

- Come and dance.
- No. I don't want to.

Bye, don't suffer too much.

Dinner parties, weekends,
group outings, parties.

Where we got to know
each other's friends.

Remembering names
was an exploit.

I'm Carlo.

Sara.

Boffa.

Salvo.

Marco.

Milena.

Antonio.

Gianni.

Each time it was like an exam.

You don't like jazz? And blues?

Ever read Irving?

How about the government?

What'd you do?

What team?

- Like wine?
- Smoke cigars?

- You like boats?
- A fantasy.

- You're shy.
- What school?

- What do you drive?
- Any sisters?

- What birth-sign?
- Love Mum or Dad most?

Mum and Dad,
how would they have reacted?

The last exam before graduation.

Come on, we don't believe you.
It's always the same old story.

- Meaning?
- You bring them home, introduce them

and then they vanish.

- Into thin air.
- I'm not a serial killer.

And anyway Stefania's different.

Like Luisa? And Anna?

And that English girl?
She was so cute.

- And the Chinese one?
- A friend.

- What does she do?
- Make-up.

I don't understand!
Why bother to live together.

Love is one thing,
sleeping is another.

- You're jealous of the sleeping bit.
- Jealous, me?

Just when you get a new flat.
Will you change every year?

- You can talk!
- I know exactly how it will end.

What comes next? A child?

You'd quit your job. Not a bad idea.

Not again!

With the talent and opportunities
you had... I don't know.

- What does Saverio do?
- Tommaso. He's an art director.

- He's in advertising.
- What does your mother say?

Your father's a moron.
Don't listen to him.

You're drinking a lot!

I'm happy. I want to celebrate.

- I'm happy you finished with...
- Giorgio?

- That's the one. Couldn't bear him.
- You invited him to the Alps.

- When?
- At Christmas.

Did I?

That's when I started
to go off him.

- Gave me a plastic backgammon set!
- It was bone!

Ask your dad for the apartment
on Via Duse. It'll be free soon.

- I'd rather not ask for anything.
- You should ask him now.

Before he moves her in there!

Yes.

No, Stefania's still asleep.

I'm trying to work
but it's no good.

You know how it'll end: Wives,
husbands, kids and smiles.

The happy family's a drag!

Let's take it all the way.

I mean unexpected moments,
genuine daily life,

the intimacy of people in love.

The real power of love.

You really are in love!

You've never talked that way before.
I envy you.

What are you doing today?

What can we do? It's pouring down.
I want to finish.

Give her some air.

The dog woke me at 5,
it's wet and cold,

then Rita stood me up and you tell me
to piss off? I feel like crying.

Maybe we can eat together later.

Bye, shithead.

Bye, asshole.

It's pouring down outside.

It was like
a feeling of transparency.

For the first time
I could be natural with a man.

I could tell he was comfortable too.

Yes, yes.

He made me laugh.

That was all I needed
to be with him.

Okay.

Are you hungry?

- I've taken an initiative.
- Just one?

What is it?
I'm busy tomorrow evening.

- I swear we didn't know.
- I want to see how it ends.

- First the bride and groom.
- Thanks.

- Father, you're a madman or a saint.
- The former.

Eat up, it's all good stuff.

- What about the tagliatelle?
- Wait a bit longer.

The living room with the chimney,
it will need cleaning.

Yes? I'll call you later.

I don't care for it but your mother
wanted you to have it.

- You can remove it.
- I like it.

There's a safe too but
I don't know where the keys are.

- What do we put in it?
- Whatever you like.

This was your mother's
office, remember?

Her desk was right here.

The jambs are in good condition.

- It needs rewiring.
- Of course. What did you expect?

Just an observation.
This place is a miracle for me.

- That's right, a miracle.
- In what way?

I'll tell you later.
This is the bathroom.

How about heating?

There's no news.

- He surprised me.
- What a gift! It's a great area.

You lucky bastard!

Will you invite us to high society?

It's the thought that counts.
That's how he shows his affection.

Will you introduce me? Maybe
he could show me affection too.

One can never be serious with you.
Who wants popcorn?

- Need a hand?
- No.

- You look glum.
- It'll cost a fortune to do it up.

A new place would have been better.
There's no newsagent, no bar.

- I'm used to everything around here.
- But it's worth it.

Instead of talking crap,
tell us the truth.

Her father's a shit

and I don't want to be dependent
on him because of the house.

Remember Valerio and Franca?

We don't have to accept the house.

If you don't like it, forget it.
Why didn't you tell me before?

- Feel dependent on me too?
- I didn't think it right.

- Ask Valerio and Franca.
- You know them too?

- Has she really gone?
- You bet.

The match's starting.

I want you to tell me
what he said.

Stefania, forget it, okay?

Tell me what he said.
You're not usually like this.

He told me that I shouldn't trust
you, that you'd destroy me,

the way you've destroyed
other men.

Especially Alberto.

He said I was like him
and that I'd end up like him too.

The bastard!

I'm sorry.

The time has come
to show emotional complicity.

The quiet moments
in everyday life.

We'll link the product "Italian Ice"
to a real family's story.

The most beautiful dream is reality.

Or the strongest.

It's a good idea,
but I'm not totally convinced.

The real family today...

Let's try two campaigns,
one traditional, one alternative.

They'll work on the traditional,
we'll try yours.

- What's wrong?
- Something frightens me a bit.

- I can't live without you anymore.
- Neither can I.

I realised that the time
you left and slammed the door.

I realised then I couldn't
live without you.

- Why didn't you tell me?
- I couldn't find the right words.

- I was looking for a special way.
- Such as?

I could only think
of stupid metaphors.

Ivy and a wall,
wind and the sails.

Polenta and sausages.

Piss off!

In my favourite one,
you were my leg, my arm.

- You can live without a leg or arm.
- But what kind of life is it?

You want to be a vital organ.

- How do you feel?
- Happy.

Is this Alberto?

No, that's Giorgio.

- You always pick the same type?
- Stop it!

- Why not pick me different?
- How could I if...

What are you making me say?

You're not that alike.

He's my spitting image!

- But I love you.
- We have to see about that.

Stop acting the fool!
You're alike in that.

That too?

No, no tickling!

No tickling!

We were impressed by the idea
of stressing positive things,

the family, love,
understanding.

But let's drop the realism

and show the family
using a metaphor, a dream.

Surveys confirm it.
People prefer dreams

and passion.
Everyday life isn't popular.

That slut has thrown me out.

That slut has thrown me out.

- She changed the lock.
- What about you?

He slept over at our place.
Well, he talked all night to Carlo.

She shouldn't have done that.
He got his revenge.

He called the fire brigade,
said he'd lost his keys

and cleared the place out.
He even emptied the freezer.

- Come on!
- Poor thing!

It's so sad! How can they end up
behaving like animals?

Not that long ago
they shared everything.

They didn't look that convinced
at their wedding.

I never saw them get on.

Remember the wedding?
It was like a burial!

Who forced them to get married?
There are so many choices now:

Single, partners, open couples,

...bi-sex, tri-sex. Why get married?
- It doesn't change that much.

- It's the same thing.
- No.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment,
that you have to keep.

You don't make a commitment
and then just back out.

It's like a loan.
What do you do? Stop paying?

- So you can't make a mistake then?
- Of course you can.

You just don't make a habit of it.

No one forces you into
such an important decision.

- Since when have you thought that?
- Since I met her.

You're soaked! Off you go!

Leave us alone.

Oh, God!

You could have spared me
this trial of love.

Lift your right foot
up to your knee.

- Which side's the right?
- By the knee.

Good. Now your left foot
and right hand.

- Don't look down.
- I can't do it.

Look at me.

Couldn't we go shopping
like everyone else on Saturdays?

Don't let go of me.

- What?
- Don't let go of me.

Your life is in my hands.

Then marry me.

- Are you that scared?
- I meant it. Will you marry me?

Answer me before I fall off.

- What did you buy them?
- A TV set.

- A DVD.
- And a stereo.

- And you?
- The rings.

I hate all these original things.
The church, country lane,

the buffet.

- Tommaso is a mannerist.
- What?

- What about the house?
- All settled.

Want to hear some gossip?
But don't tell anyone. Carlo...

- In Australia they decide first.
- It's a waste of time.

- He's only got one ball.
- That's crap.

- So where's the other?
- He was born that way.

- Meeting's what counts.
- No, resisting.

The lesser of the two evils.

- What's the other?
- Ending up alone.

- Flat tyre?
- Yes.

- Need a hand?
- Piss off!

- No one else has a flat tyre?
- You're jinxed.

- And the division of property?
- After the ceremony.

- Let them get married first.
- That's right.

Anything else to add?

Let's start then.

Tommaso and Stefania, please stand.

Those who God hath joined together,
let no man put asunder.

In the name of the Father,
the Son and Holy Spirit.

Amen.

This is the heart.
Can you hear it beating?

The head, the brain.

This is an arm. It's side on.

You can see the nose, the mouth.

These are the legs.

Can't keep still, eh?

Everything's fine.
I'll see you in four weeks.

- No! Are you sure?
- Yes.

I don't believe it.
Poor thing!

Sweetheart!

Hurray!

Fuck!

- Doing an amniocentesis?
- No, you're still young.

The pre-natal classes
are a load of nonsense.

- Boy or girl?
- One or the other, I hope.

Girls are calmer.

Boys are easier.

In any case, travel now...

The worst pain is
when you make the final push!

- Will you attend the birth?
- It's not a bit poetic!

- Get a good gynaecologist.
- See mine.

Some women have
an orgasm during birth.

- Public or private hospital?
- The Pope always goes public.

And Tommaso?

- I can't sleep.
- You'd better sleep now.

You're not the one giving birth.
Calm down.

Calm down? I'm shitting myself.

I know a guy who pretended
to faint in the labour room.

Two elegant, self-assured people

representing a strong bond between
the product's ingredients

and the company and the consumer.

Voice over: "Italian Ice:
The taste of tradition".

- Exotic music?
- Why not?

- I think...
- We need more.

- Have you found the skaters?
- World Champions.

Italian Ice skaters.
Take two.

I'm your daddy.

- What's he doing?
- Sleeping.

Has he woken up?

You're always asleep.

He's like you, sleeps non-stop.

Tommy.
Do you really want this baby?

Why do you ask?
Of course.

- You said you couldn't sleep.
- Who to?

Aldo.

People are stupid! I said it as
a joke, at the bar. I wasn't serious.

Again?

Shall we?

What did the gynaecologist say?

It's not long enough
to do any damage.

I've already done the damage.

Come on!

Stop it.

- No, Mirella.
- You have to eat.

I'm full.

- Not another bite.
- Mum, she said no.

- You want some?
- No, no wine either.

When I was pregnant,
I'd eat at night.

Goodness, I ate so much!

Know how much he weighed?
5 kilos.

- A little pig.
- There.

- Again?
- I'll make polenta on Sunday.

I like polenta!

Want some potatoes, darling?

Hand me the sponge.

- How far gone are you?
- 8 months.

- What'll you do about work?
- Marina will stand in for me.

- But I'll be back soon.
- Let's hope so.

- Stefi, what is it?
- Nothing.

Weird thoughts
I'd never had before.

I'm thinking about the baby.
His future...

...ours.

- A beautiful baby boy!
- Andrea!

- You're so tiny!
- Hello.

I need some nappies, size one.
For a boy.

Sterilized water, nappy cream.

3 anti-hiccup teats
and sanitary towels.

That's 122,70.

The sanitary towels
cost a bomb.

300 grammes in one week!

You've the best milk
in the world.

He looks like your father.

As least he doesn't
look like Giorgio.

- He smiled.
- You smiled too.

He knows what we're talking about.

Again!

If you tell people that,
they think you're crazy.

- Where are the others these days?
- Where are the others,

...Andrea?

They act like they're
the only people to have a baby.

- What shall we do?
- We never go to see them.

No, you can't smoke,
the music mustn't be too loud,

you have to talk quietly
so as not to wake the baby.

- They're too anxious about the baby.
- No, I can understand it.

- I hardly recognise Tommaso now.
- He's changed now he's a father.

- Stefania doesn't listen anymore.
- All she talks about is the baby.

The last movie we saw
was that one with Tom Cruise.

- What was it called?
- With Tom Cruise?

I don't remember.

- I'm scared.
- Of what?

- That you'll get fed up of this.
- What?

Monica says
there are three alarm bells.

The first when you stop going out.

The second when you stop having sex.

And the third
when you start watching TV.

Let's not start
the second one then.

Mummy's darling!

What's the matter?

Mummy's here.
You're a little devil.

Have you got a cough?
You're having a bad night.

Daddy's sleeping.

- You can come back to work.
- Who would I leave him with?

Bring him to the studio.

Hold it!

- I'd better go.
- Why not a baby-sitter?

- Congratulations on the baby.
- Thanks.

- But don't come complaining.
- I'm not.

I wonder what it is!

"Hi, Milan!"
And everyone cheers!

"Welcome to the concert!"
Vasco, Vasco, Vasco!

This is Vasco Rossi.
Freedom and transgression!

What's up?

- A grey hair!
- You gave me a fright.

- Let me see.
- Not the scrap yard!

- Scrap yard.
- You'll leave us for a bimbo.

I want to grow old with you.
It has its advantages.

Good evening, my wife has dentures.

- She does amazing jobs without them.
- You'll have the dentures.

Right, Andrea?
Mummy's beautiful.

- An ironic approach would be better.
- How are things with the baby?

- Fine, why?
- You've got drool on your shoulder.

It's an incredible time.
He's starting to recognise me.

- Does he sleep?
- Yes, no nookie, but we sleep.

I've got to go. We feel
the best approach is irony.

Make the most of it.
They soon grow up.

- We've landed the Trama launch.
- Great.

- But I don't want to overload him.
- He can do it.

He'd love to do a job like that.

He's so positive right now.
Marriage, the baby...

Precisely, with a family
he'll be less available.

- What's the new guy's name?
- Zanetti.

- Zanetti. We'll use him.
- What about me?

You and him.

- You paid the road tax?
- I had to wait ages.

- Andrea was crying, they let me go.
- I went to the land office.

- You have to go, it's your house.
- What a drag!

We've got the paediatrician tomorrow.

- Had you forgotten?
- No... well, yes.

Don't worry, I'll see to it.
He hasn't thrown up for two days.

Marta's invited us to the Alps
for her birthday.

- Someone remembers us.
- We never go out.

- But they still call us.
- To go sailing with a baby!

Are you upset?

- I don't know.
- What is it?

Is it work?

The atmosphere's odd there.

Didn't you land a new contract?

Yes, but even Rino's acting oddly.

- He's hiding something.
- He's just a big kid.

- Want some more?
- No, thanks.

If only we could get out
for a few days.

Yes, on the balcony!

Leave him with us.
Pick him up when you want.

- One o'clock, two.
- I can't understand Mum's hang-up.

- It's a real hang-up.
- She doesn't want to meet her.

Christel never comes round.

Don't insist. You know what
she's like. You can bring him

any time. But she won't sleep
at your place.

What about you?

Look.

Andrea, look at Grandpa.

- Mummy's going out.
- I'll wait for you in the car.

- Is it ready, Mum?
- I'm coming.

Andrea, here it is.
Grandmas's made up your bottle.

Drink your bottle, sweetheart.

What's wrong?
Why don't you want it?

Every time Mummy wants
to go out?

Come on, why won't you have it?
Mum, you've put salt in this.

- Salt?
- In his milk.

Sorry, I made a mistake.

Can you call Tommaso for me?
Let's make your milk.

Let's make your milk.
Yes, you too.

Stefania, we have to face facts.

We can't go on pretending.

The situation's changed.

- Yes, that's true.
- Everything was different before,

but we can't turn
a blind eye anymore.

You're right.

I'm afraid we have no choice.

- I'm Irina.
- I'm from Sao Paolo.

- I'm from Nigeria.
- From Liberia.

I can cook, clean and wash.

- I do courgettes.
- Maccheroni.

- Potatoes.
- Cook.

- I can do pasta.
- Milanese rice.

- I like children.
- I have a son...

...in Sao Paolo.
- In Asmara with my mum.

- Back in Ivory Coast.
- I miss my daughter.

Why have children
only to give them to someone

...who has to leave
her own children to raise ours?

I don't like the idea.

I know what we need.

We need a grandmother.

Grandmother. A real grandmother!

- Look at this.
- There.

- Andrea?
- He's sound asleep.

- We'll leave a number just in case.
- Just in case what?

- Go on, don't worry.
- What if he wakes up?

- I'll sing him a lullaby.
- Yours was a brilliant idea!

Well done.

Thanks, he did all the work.

- Stop it.
- You used my line.

- Stop it!
- What do you think I should do?

Relax, have a good time.
I hardly know you any more.

Your spark's gone.
Other men have families too!

You've lost your smile.
Why not take a break?

- Stefania needs one too.
- How do you know?

It's obvious!

"Separation: The dangers."

"This test is an alarm signal showing
what leads to separation."

- Let's send it to Sara and Carlo.
- It's pointless.

Unless it asks, "Does your
husband only have one ball?"

- "Do you fight over the same things?"
- No, we find new reasons to fight.

Claudio and I don't fight anymore.
Dead calm!

"Will you accept compromises
to improve your relationship?"

It doesn't ask, "Are you ready
to change radically?" Our solution.

- Put "true".
- "Do you live in a shell?"

- Like Tommaso and Stefania.
- They're going dancing tonight.

Let's hope they find a comfy couch.

- Hello.
- Where's Daniele?

- He's on his way.
- What crap did he tell his wife?

That's his problem. The bitch!

- He hasn't left her yet?
- Are you mad? I'd end up with him.

- Why go out with him then?
- Guess.

Who can that be this late?
Hello?

Yes.
Speaking. Who is this?

Where?
Near the boulevards?

Out by the racetrack?

You're sure it's her?

All right, I'm on my way.

Who was it?

We found her dressed like this,
wandering around.

- She didn't know her way home.
- Mum, how did you end up here?

I don't know.

I walked for ages and ages...

Then I ended up here.
See how beautiful this dress is?

- Remember the one I had?
- Do you like it?

- Very much.
- Remember that and not your address?

- What's the harm in that?
- Let's go home.

Take her home.
This is no place for a lady like her.

- Thank you so much.
- Don't mention it.

- Bye.
- Thanks.

Thanks.

Sometimes he wakes up,
he's teething.

I'm worried because his bottom's
a bit red. Not blotches,

little red patches.

The milk? I don't think so.
Is it an allergy?

I hope not.

But I keep thinking about it.
Giuliana's niece had problems.

Her neck glands were swollen.

It could be a vaccine booster.

No, it's the TV. You think
I have time to watch it?

I'll tell you about it tomorrow
when I see you. Bye.

The whole thing has
to be set up this weekend.

The whole thing has
to be set up this weekend.

- Don't let us down.
- I never have.

That's not true, you've been
more distant lately.

- What do you mean?
- I know what having a family's like.

I virtually have three.
But the others don't care!

You're at a crossroads.
Either you go solo...

- Freelance.
- Whatever. Or you make a comeback.

- A comeback?
- Give it all you've got, win.

Then it'll all be different.
Believe me.

- Are you firing me?
- Don't talk crap!

Get to work!

The alarms rang.

You never go out, you never fuck.

The worst thing is
you stop talking.

- Nothing to tell me?
- What can I say?

I only talk to Andrea, Mum.

I need to talk to someone
who's like me.

I spend all day talking.

- When I get home, I need some peace.
- Some peace!

I don't give a shit about TV.

You watch it so as not to talk!

You don't talk to me because
you have nothing left to say to me.

God, you're complicated!

We have no time together,
no pleasures, not even silly ones.

Where do I get the energy?

It's as though the best side
of you has fallen asleep.

Lucky thing.
You're right...

...other people have said
the same thing.

But you've changed too.

You're weird.

So are you.

Do you still love me?

Push with both legs.

Leg's slightly apart. Perfect.

Carlo, you pass the ball.

You had two chances.
No, you had to show off!

- Pass the ball or score.
- You chose the wrong sport.

- Is he good for any sport?
- Jai alai!

- So, I'm always wrong!
- Yes.

- Cut it out!
- So I always get it wrong?

We'll get some hookers tonight.
It's his treat.

- Leave him alone.
- They don't know you're my hero.

- Hero?
- He had the guts to leave

a ball-breaker
and start a new life.

Get your hands off me!

Fuck you!

There must be a reason
why you parted.

If it all falls apart,
you can't put it together again.

How can you be so sure
it's fallen apart?

When you realise, it's too late.

You're on a desert island
with Yuma.

- What do you do?
- Nothing.

- You don't screw her?
- I'm on no island, I know no Yuma.

- Use your imagination.
- Do you screw her?

- No!
- Do me a favour.

- Of course I screw her.
- So you're a shit like us.

He's a hypocrite too.

- Carry on and I'll let Carlo loose.
- If he does, there'll be trouble.

Houston, we have a problem.
We're losing him.

He's desperate!

Jerk.

I didn't fall in love.
Far from it.

It was nothing
but mind-blowing passion.

We did things
I never tried with Carlo.

- You still see him?
- No, he's married, with kids.

He won't leave his wife.
But I wouldn't want him to anyway.

At some point I became transparent,

as if I no longer existed.
It was a horrible feeling!

We're having problems
too right now.

- It was different for you.
- Yes, but in the end

a man can't give a woman
everything she expects.

- You do what you can!
- And the marriage ends.

Sara is like Stefania
and you're like me.

You have a specific
problem though.

Sara has a nasty habit of telling
everyone our business.

- That didn't help things.
- She had an obsession.

- "Something's missing!"
- Yes, I know.

It's not important that something
specific is missing.

What are you talking about?

- Well... your testicle.
- You know about that?

Carlo, everyone knows.

- Go on, smoke.
- I want to throw up.

- Tommy!
- Hey, you!

- Tommy!
- Stefania, what is it?

- Don't look like that.
- Remember our parties?

- Look at her. Cute, eh?
- You've never cheated on her?

- What's wrong?
- Not even once?

- Don't be stupid!
- Not even in your mind?

You look exhausted.
Do you sleep?

- The slipper syndrome.
- Men are all the same.

- Tell me the truth.
- Everything's changed.

- Men are all the same.
- If you say so.

He doesn't meet the criteria.

- What criteria?
- For enrollment.

Some families have problems.
More children, lower income.

So what do I do,
sign him on the dole?

He's first on the waiting list.

If someone backs out,
he'll have a place.

It's absurd!

- Is there nothing we can do?
- Are you married?

- Yes.
- Too bad, if you were separated

...he'd fulfill the criteria.
- I don't believe it.

I'm afraid so.

To enroll him here,
I'd have to leave my husband!

- Damn it! I don't have it.
- But you earned it.

- Here's this month's VAT.
- What do we do?

- There's nothing deductible.
- I can't go into debt

...to pay my tax!
- I don't like fraud.

But do something.

Are you married?

- Yes.
- Living together?

- Yes.
- Why don't you divorce?

- What do you mean?
- A fake divorce.

We'll set high alimony and
you can deduct it from your tax.

- I'm already supporting them.
- It's no good.

- The law requires you to divorce.
- That's absurd!

More than one of our clients
has done it.

Can I tell you a secret?

I've done it myself.

- Is everything normal?
- How old is he? Almost two?

It's a sort
of competition between boys

and their fathers.

- He slips into our bed every night.
- He pees and craps in it.

- You never told me that.
- Not every night!

- He just stopped wearing nappies.
- At two?

He simply refused to wear them.
He was so proud, I thought...

Do you spend much time
with your son?

Enough... when I can.

So when can you?

Sundays and... some Saturdays.

- That's not much.
- I work all day long.

We all work, don't we?

You need a new schedule.
Work one out.

You have a creative job, right?

Tommy, what's wrong?

You don't look well.

I feel I'm going mad. If I keep
my family, I lose my job.

If I keep my job, I lose my family.
What the fuck do I do?

Now you know how women feel.
If we fuck, we're sluts.

If we don't, we're dumb.
What do we do? Half-fuck?

Model 77, Romina. Tulle bustier.
Model 81,

pure oriental silk.

Can I come in?

No, I don't want you
to see me like this.

- It's tough, eh?
- Almost done.

He asked me for more time to think.
He thinks a week, then comes back.

- And?
- He's confused.

How are you?

I feel like an apprentice again.

- When you're out of the business...
- I know.

- How's Tommaso?
- We don't see him.

Work, work, work?

Classic.

The extraordinary power
of double malt.

- It was worth it, she's beautiful.
- And a real pro.

She's talented, all right.

No, it's no good.

- It's not what we want.
- She's on the composite.

- Maybe, but she's no good.
- Where will I find another girl?

Above all, how does
the client want her?

We already talked about it.

We need a real mother,

a bright, young woman.

Like her.

- The make-up girl?
- Yes.

You'll be paid.

- It's not that.
- You have to help me.

I've no time to find someone else
and you're just what they want.

- I'm embarrassed to pose naked.
- Nothing will show.

- No pubes, no nipples, nothing.
- No.

It's not the end of the world.

I couldn't back out. If you say no,
they won't call back.

My wife is doing a testimonial
in the nude, for a competitor!

- They don't know I'm your wife.
- Okay, we'll say you're right.

You were right to do the photos.
Congratulations!

The test wasn't wrong.
You're pregnant.

See you at the client's at 3.

Remember what we said.

- You could've chosen a better place.
- And you could have phoned.

If the phone company goes bust,
we stop communicating.

There's always Freefone.

- I don't feel like laughing.
- What's wrong?

I'm pregnant.

- What about your coil?
- It can happen. It's happened to us.

What are you going to do?

What are we going to do?

Stefania, I...

Need any help? I don't want it.

It's not like the old days.
Up to 2 months with an injection.

Yes?

Stop calling every two minutes
to ask how I am.

I apologised.

I'm fine. Never been better.

Don't get angry. I'm coming home.
I've almost finished.

If you want to come, come.

If you can't, stay. Just stop
calling me and snivelling.

I don't need anything.

Now where were we?

Mena, come in.

- Andrea?
- He's asleep.

What's wrong?

You know how fond I am of you.
I'm not doing it out of spite.

What?

I can't stay here anymore.

It's got nothing to do with you.

I did it, it's my decision.

It's my life, you can't take on
that burden too.

You wanted a grandmother
and grandmothers speak their minds.

- You don't throw a baby away.
- Don't you understand?

- We couldn't keep it.
- I don't understand. That's it.

- What?
- There were 8 of us in my family.

I saw all the little ones being born.

When the time came, Mum would say
to Dad: "Here we go again".

He'd quietly go to the cellar
and open a bottle of good wine.

While he was opening it,
he'd start laughing.

We'd just water down the soup.
No one ever starved in our home.

You see why I have
to go back to San Michele?

Come here.

- When do the awards start?
- At nine.

Are you excited?

- Nervous.
- Do you stand a chance of winning?

Not really, but being
on the short list is good enough.

You remembered the bow-tie?

Why don't we go together?

I'm a real pain at the moment.

- I'd only spoil your evening.
- If you say so.

- What about Andrea?
- We'd only be away one day.

And my mother?
A day in the hospice?

As you wish.

Tsunami.

The extraordinary power
of double malt.

You're amazing.

Marriage is like
buying a restaurant.

You have to eat there even if there
are other good cheap places.

- And divorce?
- I'm totally against it.

- Stop drinking!
- So against it, I'll never marry.

- I know your kind.
- I'm not unfaithful on principle

but I can't resist passion.
The irresistible passion.

It makes the world go round.
Fidelity gets it nowhere.

- Well done.
- How come so many people

are happy being faithful
and place value on it?

They're scared of feeling alive,
of flying away.

You've seen documentaries of giant
tortoises that hardly ever move?

They look up occasionally
and realise swallows exist too.

- They envy them, then get scared.
- Great metaphor!

If someone's a tortoise, what do
they do? Grow wings and fly?

I don't know,
I'm no expert on tortoises.

Yuma's beautiful!

Was she there too?

Who's this?

- The client.
- What a slut!

Is she friendly?

She seems affectionate anyhow.

Let's get this straight. We were side
by side and we won, that's all.

I only said "what a slut!"
Look at the way she's dressed!

Why are you getting so uptight?

- We've had no news for3 days.
- Stefania was wrong.

If I did that,
Gianni would go wild.

- Trouble was brewing.
- Yes, since the abortion.

She seemed convinced
but I don't think she's accepted it.

Anyhow he was there without her.

I support Tommaso for once.
Poor thing!

Poor thing!
Stefania's a dumb bitch.

Tommaso works hard for them.
Surrounded by women,

yet always refused every opportunity.
Until yesterday, that is.

- Until yesterday?
- Why until yesterday?

The necklace.

You shit!
I'm feeling bad...

...and you just watch TV.
- What do you want me to say?

That you still love me,
this family

and your son, if you remember him.

His Majesty needs to think.

- Get out!
- What are you doing?

Stop it!

- Get out!
- Stop it!

- Fuck you!
- You'd just about had it!

He's a jerk.

- He's a rogue.
- They all fall for it.

- Plenty more fish...
- I never liked him.

- Mummy's darling.
- No teeth, no troubles.

- You're not the first.
- What a comfort!

Always ends that way.

- When it's not working...
- You're really hot.

- I'm looking for a flat.
- I want a holiday.

- Flat.
- Holiday.

Holiday.

He still sees her?

I don't know. Some say he does.

How are you feeling?

You're not used
to being on your own, are you?

You'll get over it.

What about him?

He took it well.
He doesn't seem to have noticed.

Things aren't like before.

- Is this blackmail?
- No!

- Are you still seeing her?
- Let's behave like adults.

- And be reasonable, for his sake.
- What a good father, so reasonable!

- Don't change the subject.
- I know how much you earn!

- I have to live too.
- I have the property charges.

I won't live as a bum
to give you a good life.

Are you Fausto's daughter?
I knew you when you were tiny.

You're so beautiful.

We'll force him by pressing charges.

- What for?
- Mintreatment.

I don't want to do things that...

Stefania, how else
can I win this case for you?

Concerning your unsatisfactory
family attitude,

especially in relation
to your son.

- It's bullshit!
- But it's official now.

- We must counter-attack.
- But how?

- Did your wife mistreat the child?
- No.

You said he fell off his tricycle
once and had to go to hospital.

- Yes. So what?
- We'll get her for negligence.

- No way!
- Then read your wife's statement.

Do you understand
why I went on for so long?

Fortunately it was all my
imagination, but it seemed so true.

You believed it.

But how could you believe
love would fade so easily?

Vanish all of a sudden?

The kisses, the caresses,

the hopes, the love?

I don't believe it.

I believe it remained buried,

under tons of meddling intrusions
and all kinds of pressure

that has nothing to do with love.

That's how I see it.

Perhaps two people
in love are frightening.

To whom? To unhappiness.

Unhappiness seems to rule the world.
It drives the economy.

People spend
more apart than together.

Two homes, two cars, two
washing-machines. Two of everything!

Even unhappiness.
But be careful.

Unhappy people spend more
because they need gratification.

That's no good... no good at all.

I feel a little awkward now.

With what awareness should
I celebrate this wedding?

With what justification?
Because they say yes?

How many will answer me there?
How many voices and experiences

lie within those two? Just two?
Or four, a hundred, a thousand?

Unfortunately, today, their yes

is no use to me.

Unless...

...unless all of you
give me ayes too.

How could they manage alone?

Everything would be different
if you were to marry with them

and share that commitment.

Yes, that would be
a special ceremony.

Two people in love love the world.
Should the world return that love?

Excuse me, father.
I don't agree.

If two people want to separate,
I'm sorry. But I'm a lawyer.

- It's my job.
- You're right.

I have the same problem.
I defend the interests

of a client, not a couple.

What can we do about it?

Even as a child he wouldn't obey us.

- I can't guarantee my own happiness.
- Tell me about it!

- How can I worry about theirs?
- It's their responsibility.

Marriage is a private matter.

We're here to celebrate.

Not to make a pledge.

It's not our decision.

You're right.

That's exactly how it is.

Marriage is a private matter
that concerns them alone.

Perhaps me too,
but I'm different.

So I must ask you a favour.
Go outside now.

Let Tommaso and Stefania
share this moment.

Let there be no photos
of this part of the ceremony.

Let the only memory be theirs.
It's their wedding, and theirs alone.

Of course we'll drink,
sing and dance together later.

Mena's arranged a meal.
But let's leave them alone right now.

Well then?
Long live the bride and groom!