Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:02,400
???
2
00:00:02,500 --> 00:00:04,200
oh, i'm in trouble now.
3
00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:05,000
yes.
4
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:06,200
what's with me?
5
00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:07,200
i killed a man.
6
00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:09,500
i bludgeoned him
imth his own s.
7
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:12,100
there are ??? in the game,
8
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,400
and you've used them both up.
9
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:14,300
you know what you are?
10
00:00:14,300 --> 00:00:15,800
- a hoot.
- with a capital "h."
11
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:16,700
that's what you are.
12
00:00:16,700 --> 00:00:19,600
- my friend--
i am not your friend.
13
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:21,000
you and me on a road trip...
14
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:23,400
- a dude ranch.
- a dude ranch?
15
00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:26,200
it's horses and--and sheep.
16
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:30,100
we'll have campfires and
marshmallows and tents and...
17
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:31,800
sheep.
18
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:39,300
www.1000fr.com presents
19
00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:47,000
capture:frm@evelyn~zx
sync:frs@wdysai
20
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:03,200
all right. be honest.
21
00:01:03,300 --> 00:01:04,800
have you ever ridden
a horse before?
22
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:06,100
of course i have. why?
23
00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,600
you look a little stiff.
24
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:10,500
you know what? don't worry about me,
denny. i've ridden plenty.
25
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:12,300
just like riding a bike--
26
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,600
never forget.
27
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:14,700
when have you ridden a horse?
28
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:15,800
- when i was a kid.
-where?
29
00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:16,700
at a party.
30
00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:18,600
- a pony?
- no.
31
00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:20,700
i don't know.
32
00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:21,900
his name was thunderclap.
33
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:24,000
he had a hat with holes
cut out for his ears.
34
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,300
all right, look,
35
00:01:25,300 --> 00:01:26,100
- why not?
- because
36
00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,800
this is a serious dude ranch,
37
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:28,900
- dude.
- well...
38
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,700
we got a rodeo
followed by a 3-day ride
39
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,800
and no ritz-carltons along the way.
40
00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:35,400
- what's your point?
- my point is,
41
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:38,600
this is obviously the first time
you've ever mounted a proper horse.
42
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,300
i know how to ride just fine.
don't worry about me.
43
00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,700
oh! oh.
44
00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:45,500
well, this is what
i call a small world,
45
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:46,900
that's what this is.
46
00:01:47,100 --> 00:01:48,500
- look at you, al...
- oh, jeez.
47
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:51,000
snuggling up to your horse
like two peas in a pod.
48
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,000
am i right, denny?
whoo-ee! ride 'em, cowboy.
49
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,600
to each his own,
that's what i say.
50
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:56,400
who is this guy?
51
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,700
melvin palmer. i don't
believe we've actually met.
52
00:01:58,700 --> 00:02:00,600
a pleasure. i am a big fan.
53
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,700
al and i go way back,
that's what we do.
54
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:06,400
hey, we need to be bunkies,
that's what we need to do.
55
00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:07,900
home on the range,
where the deer,
56
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:10,100
the antelope and
the three of us play.
57
00:02:10,100 --> 00:02:11,400
this is gonna be a hoot.
58
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,000
i want to go home.
59
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:14,500
whoa!
60
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:18,500
boston legal s05e06
61
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:52,000
i asked for alan.
62
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,400
he's out of state.
you get me.
63
00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:56,000
what did you do?
64
00:02:57,900 --> 00:02:58,700
well,
65
00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,700
i was a victim of terrible
malpractice if you must know.
66
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:05,500
and i took issue
with the doctor.
67
00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:08,000
you took issue
with the doctor how?
68
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:09,800
i blew him up.
69
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,700
i didn't mean to.
70
00:03:11,700 --> 00:03:13,800
i only meant to set fire
to his office.
71
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,200
how would i know
he'd run back inside?
72
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,800
so basically,
you committed murder.
73
00:03:18,900 --> 00:03:21,300
well, aren't you
a defendant's dream?
74
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,100
my god, catherine.
75
00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:25,500
look, honey,
the doctor didn't die.
76
00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:28,000
in fact, he was only
barely hurt.
77
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:31,500
uh, so i'm only charged
with attempted murder.
78
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:35,100
i'm sure you'll do fine,
but you won't be as good as alan.
79
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,700
why don't you
tell me what went down?
80
00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:41,600
what exactly was his malpractice?
81
00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:44,200
well, i have some kidney issues,
82
00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:46,400
and i became anemic.
83
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:48,100
the doctor put me on a drug
84
00:03:48,100 --> 00:03:50,800
that caused me to have
a small heart attack.
85
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,200
i'm fine now,
but i could've died.
86
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:55,900
then i come to find out
87
00:03:56,000 --> 00:04:00,300
this doctor is taking kickbacks
from the maker of the drug.
88
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:03,000
that's when i decided
to torch his office
89
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:06,800
and inadvertently blew him up.
90
00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:08,900
i've already been arraigned,
91
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:11,100
so you needn't
bother with the trivial.
92
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,100
let's just go to trial.
93
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,400
and i'd like a speedy one.
94
00:04:15,500 --> 00:04:17,300
after all, i'm old.
95
00:04:17,500 --> 00:04:19,500
as are you, dear.
96
00:04:21,100 --> 00:04:23,400
she handled her own arraignment.
97
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,800
evideny, she's gotten
quite comfortable
98
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,000
what will be your defense, revenge?
99
00:04:29,100 --> 00:04:30,600
temporary insanity.
100
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:33,800
it's my only choice.
plus, she is nuts.
101
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,200
katie.
102
00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:37,900
i need you to do some checking
for me on a doctor.
103
00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:41,700
also, i need a little background
on a drug called axelogen.
104
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:43,900
- okay.
- and then there's a...
105
00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:48,500
i'm terribly sorry.
106
00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:50,100
my computer calendar is off.
107
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:53,300
it indicated halloween
was today. i apologize.
108
00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:54,900
i'm headed home to change.
109
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:57,400
it won't happen again.
110
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,200
balls, balls, balls.
111
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,600
i get one of those damn little smartphones
'cause supposedly, they do everything--
112
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:17,900
music, daily planner, e-mail, text--
113
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:19,600
but ask it to keep track
of the damn date?
114
00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,500
i guess that's too much.
you like my outfit?
115
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:22,600
it's not halloween,
116
00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,300
and i would have to be seen
by shirley and sack.
117
00:05:25,300 --> 00:05:26,600
balls, balls, balls!
118
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,100
if it's any consolation,
i think you look lovely.
119
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:30,600
it's not funny.
120
00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:34,900
carl.
121
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,400
bo.
122
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:40,000
jerry, you've made rather
a point of saying that
123
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,700
this is the year
that you will make partner.
124
00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:44,300
there are many ways of
getting that job done, jerry.
125
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:47,700
prancing around the office
as little bo peep
126
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:50,200
is not one of the better ones.
127
00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,200
won't happen again.
128
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,600
uh, this is a-a very
grown-up place, jerry.
129
00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:01,700
halloween is a kids' thing.
130
00:06:10,900 --> 00:06:12,900
i actually arrived
before the fire department.
131
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:15,000
and, sir, what possessed you
to enter the building?
132
00:06:15,100 --> 00:06:17,500
well, the fire looked
fairly small when i got there.
133
00:06:17,500 --> 00:06:19,400
and i thought
i could rescue my files.
134
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:21,600
and the woman who set this fire,
135
00:06:21,700 --> 00:06:22,800
she was your patient?
136
00:06:22,900 --> 00:06:23,900
yes.
137
00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:26,100
and what were you
treating her for?
138
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:28,000
she has some kidney disease
139
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:30,800
for which she gets
occasional dialysis treatments.
140
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:34,500
she was suffering from some anemia,
so i put her on axelogen.
141
00:06:34,500 --> 00:06:35,600
and that was for the anemia?
142
00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:37,900
yes. at first,
it worked quite well.
143
00:06:38,100 --> 00:06:40,000
she then suffered
the heart attack.
144
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:43,300
that was unfortunate,
but it was also unforeseeable.
145
00:06:43,400 --> 00:06:46,600
sometimes there are side effects
that you just can't anticipate,
146
00:06:46,800 --> 00:06:48,800
especially with
these new drugs.
147
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:55,700
sweet.
148
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,300
are you my mount?
149
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:59,100
what did you just say?
150
00:06:59,100 --> 00:07:01,600
i'm at a dude ranch, dude.
it's not like i can be choosy.
151
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:03,800
besides, all the sheep
are spoken for. i checked.
152
00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,200
excuse me.
this is my wife here.
153
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,100
really? okay.
154
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,200
you must want me.
155
00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:10,800
- what's going on here?
- what's going on stis that
156
00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:13,300
this man is making a
sexual advance on my wife.
157
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:14,500
she is nasty.
158
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,300
excuse me?
159
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:16,900
in a slutty sort of way.
160
00:07:16,900 --> 00:07:18,000
oh, my god.
i paid a lot of money
161
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,100
- for this vacation.
- and i'm trying to
162
00:07:19,100 --> 00:07:20,100
show her a good time.
163
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,000
did you hear this?
164
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,800
did you hear what this disgusting
person just said to my wife?
165
00:07:23,900 --> 00:07:25,800
go get your horse.
166
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:27,600
fine.
167
00:07:28,300 --> 00:07:29,800
my god.
168
00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:31,400
what a thing.
169
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:33,400
what a thing.
170
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:40,600
it's terrible to
have a heart attack.
171
00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:42,000
have you had one?
172
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,500
- not yet.
- oh.
173
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,300
something i wouldn't wish on anybody.
174
00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:47,900
well...
175
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:51,100
catherine, at the time
the drug was considered safe.
176
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,100
by who? the manufacturer and him.
177
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,500
and he was on the take.
178
00:07:55,500 --> 00:07:57,600
- objection.
- sustained.
179
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:01,800
oh, do you realize,
doctors also get rebates?
180
00:08:01,900 --> 00:08:04,500
that's in addition to the
little stipend under the table.
181
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:07,000
- objection.
- nothing is done under the table.
182
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,300
how do the rebates work,
catherine? if you know.
183
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:14,600
well, the doctor buys the drug directly
from the pharmaceutical company.
184
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,100
they give a rebate based on
the amount the doctor purchases.
185
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:20,800
then the doctor sells it
to the patient--
186
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,000
no discount to reflect
th
187
00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:27,500
and is reimbursed by either
medicare or private insurance.
188
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:29,500
so he's making a cash windfall
189
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:32,000
every time he prescribes the drug.
190
00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:33,300
the fix is in.
191
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:35,300
- objection.
- sustained.
192
00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,800
these doctors
are bought and paid for.
193
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:39,000
strike that.
194
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,800
and sometimes,
so are the judges.
195
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:44,600
oh, not you, of course.
196
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:54,000
the other campers voted
to send you both home.
197
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:55,900
- what? why?
- why?
198
00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:58,900
because he made an unwanted
sexual advance on my wife.
199
00:08:58,900 --> 00:09:00,300
not in the spirit of things.
200
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:03,500
now many of us paid a lot of
money for a wonderful escape,
201
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:04,700
the trip of a lifetime.
202
00:09:04,700 --> 00:09:06,100
irene didn't seem to mind.
203
00:09:06,100 --> 00:09:07,200
did you hear what he just said?
204
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,600
- sir--
- you,
205
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:10,600
- don't talk to me.
- what did i do?
206
00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,300
he's just a hoot,
that's what he is.
207
00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:14,000
he's a troublemaker--
not
208
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,700
look, it's not that i wouldn't love to
leave this flea-infested paradise--
209
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:20,300
by the way, the brochure
never said the ranch included him.
210
00:09:20,500 --> 00:09:21,400
hooter.
211
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:23,900
oh, my god.
he fondled my buttocks.
212
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:24,900
what?!
213
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:25,900
now listen,
214
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,800
i'm gonna give the two of you
one last warning.
215
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:31,000
you play by my rules,
216
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,300
or i send you packing.
217
00:09:32,300 --> 00:09:33,200
oh.
218
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,300
i paid a lot of money for
an experience of a lifetime here.
219
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,600
- let's go.
- yeah, let's go.
220
00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:42,600
denny, you promised
this would be fun.
221
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:43,900
i'm having fun.
222
00:09:43,900 --> 00:09:46,400
this is a blast,
that's what this is...
223
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,600
hoot.
224
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:57,900
carl.
225
00:09:57,900 --> 00:09:58,900
katie.
226
00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:02,100
so tell me, carl,
do you have halloween plans?
227
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,700
oh, that's right.
it's a kids' thing.
228
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,800
were you always...
229
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,700
how you are now, carl?
230
00:10:09,700 --> 00:10:10,900
how i am now?
231
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,400
you know, so proper and...
232
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:14,900
behaved and...
233
00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,800
and what?
234
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:19,000
go ahead.
235
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:21,100
take your best shot.
i'm a big boy.
236
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,800
you're not, actually.
237
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,100
i'd say you're a big grown-up.
238
00:10:26,500 --> 00:10:28,000
it's a pity.
239
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,700
oh, i wish you'd waited
till i got back, shirley.
240
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:38,000
well, make sure
you talk to the drug rep
241
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,400
from the pharmaceutical company.
242
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:42,300
you--you might even want
to put him on the stand.
243
00:10:42,300 --> 00:10:43,500
excuse me.
244
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:44,900
no phone calls allowed.
245
00:10:44,900 --> 00:10:46,400
i have an emergency
246
00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:48,300
we all have our offices.
we all have our little crises.
247
00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,300
do you see any of us on a phone?
248
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:51,700
he's not in the spirit again.
249
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:54,100
could you just go off and
work with your dialect coach?
250
00:10:54,100 --> 00:10:55,200
did you hear that?
251
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,000
- oh, leave him alone, ian.
- what a thing.
252
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,000
what, are you taking his side?
253
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,600
you promised you
wouldn't be getting upset.
254
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:00,900
well, now her vacation's ruined.
255
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:01,900
i don't know why
you put up with him, irene.
256
00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:03,300
nobody was talking to you.
257
00:11:03,300 --> 00:11:04,600
you've done nothing
but talk about me.
258
00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,500
because you've done nothing
259
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,200
you're an extra.
you don't get to talk.
260
00:11:08,200 --> 00:11:09,800
oh, my god.
261
00:11:10,700 --> 00:11:14,700
mr. rudeness--
that's what you are.
262
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,000
- oh, my god!
- hey.
263
00:11:17,100 --> 00:11:19,300
what kind of example is that,
shooting a gun?
264
00:11:19,300 --> 00:11:21,300
that's a terrible example to set.
265
00:11:21,300 --> 00:11:22,800
oh, my god.
266
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:26,500
hey!
aah!
267
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:27,600
again!
268
00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:30,200
i've about had it with you.
you understand?
269
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,700
why does nobody like me?
270
00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:32,800
i like you, bunkie.
271
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,200
you just stick close to me
for the rest of the trip.
272
00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:37,100
my god. that one's
a homosexual.
273
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:37,800
ian.
274
00:11:37,900 --> 00:11:40,300
supposed to be the trip of a lifetime,
and now we have a homosexual.
275
00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:42,100
it's a "don't ask,
don't tell" dude ranch.
276
00:11:42,100 --> 00:11:43,300
surely you knew that, ian.
277
00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:44,500
the one in the middle's a masher,
278
00:11:44,500 --> 00:11:46,500
you're rude, and he's gay,
279
00:11:46,500 --> 00:11:48,200
and all three are from boston.
280
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:50,700
all right, buddy. i'm gon'
take you out behind this...
281
00:11:50,700 --> 00:11:52,300
i'm calling it
282
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,900
i think she felt so violated
after the heart attack and angry
283
00:12:09,900 --> 00:12:13,000
that she went into a mild
dissociative state.
284
00:12:13,100 --> 00:12:14,400
what does that mean?
285
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,400
it means, basically,
that she snapped.
286
00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,000
she was so blinded
by rage and fe,
287
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,600
she lost herself.
288
00:12:20,700 --> 00:12:24,600
in my opinion, she was not capable
of forming a mental intent.
289
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,200
are you getting paid
for this testimony?
290
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:28,500
- objection.
- overruled.
291
00:12:28,500 --> 00:12:29,400
are you getting paid?
292
00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:31,800
i'm compensated
for my services, yes.
293
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:33,200
how much for today?
294
00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,000
$10,000.
295
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:38,300
so she snapped, lit a fi,
but now she's in.
296
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:39,700
is that about it?
297
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:42,200
i believe she's sane again, yes.
298
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,600
got it.
299
00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:38,600
* michael, row your boat ashore *
300
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:42,100
* hallelujah *
301
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:45,500
* michael, row your boat ashore *
302
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:48,900
* hallelujah *
303
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:52,300
* sister, help to trim the sails *
304
00:13:52,300 --> 00:13:55,800
* hallelujah *
305
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,000
* sister, help to trim the sails... *
306
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,900
i can't believe
you got me into this.
307
00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,200
me? it was your idea.
308
00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:03,600
my idea was to take
a trip, not do this.
309
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,200
adjust your attitude.
310
00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:08,800
look.
311
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:11,400
i think irene likes me.
312
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:13,300
* ...home on the other side *
313
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:17,300
* hallelujah *
314
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,900
hey! all right!
315
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:21,900
very nice.
316
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:24,700
um... okay, ian,
you got a request?
317
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:27,900
yes, um, could you please
put the cigar out, please?
318
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,900
you know, it causes
cancer, and--and i--
319
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:33,600
i'm here for a wonderful
vacation escape, not cancer.
320
00:14:33,700 --> 00:14:35,300
it keeps the bugs away.
321
00:14:35,300 --> 00:14:37,100
if only it worked on pests.
322
00:14:37,100 --> 00:14:38,100
that's a put-down.
323
00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:40,100
- ian, for god--
- no, no, never mind, irene.
324
00:14:40,100 --> 00:14:41,800
that was a total put-down.
325
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:43,600
oh, come on. it was just a...
326
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,400
put your foot down, man.
327
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:47,500
everybody, quiet!
328
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:52,200
damn it. this is supposed
to be a joyful sing-alg
329
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,100
??
330
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:56,600
i have a problem.
these aren't even cowboy songs.
331
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,900
for the experience of a lifetime, too.
332
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:01,500
i expected to hear cowboy songs.
333
00:15:01,500 --> 00:15:04,000
how about "surrey with
the fringe on top"?
334
00:15:04,100 --> 00:15:05,700
or "sweet betsy from pike"?
335
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:06,900
"michael, row your boat ashore"
336
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:10,100
is a religious song with
a nautical theme for the kids.
337
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,300
next we'll have irene hereensing
338
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,400
- excuse me?!
- i don't want
339
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,800
my wife's name
out of your dirty mouth.
340
00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:16,900
do you hear me?
341
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,400
whoa.
342
00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,800
would you please...
343
00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:24,000
hey, i got a cboy song.
344
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,400
pass me that guitar, sport.
345
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:30,600
you know i am
a get-along kind of guy
346
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:31,900
that's what i am.
347
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:35,800
and in the spirit of us all
gettin' along here,
348
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,600
i'm gonna dedicate ther
to my buddies
349
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,400
alan and denny.
350
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:49,300
* as i walked out *
351
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:52,300
* in the streets of laredo *
352
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,400
* as i walked out *
353
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,700
* in laredon ay *
354
00:15:57,700 --> 00:16:00,700
* i spied a young cowboy *
355
00:16:00,700 --> 00:16:03,800
* all dressed in white linen *
356
00:16:03,900 --> 00:16:06,200
* wrapped in white linen *
357
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:09,600
* as cold as the clay *
358
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:13,800
* i see by your outfit *
359
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,800
* that you are a cowboy *
360
00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:19,600
* i see by your outfit *
361
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:22,200
* that you are one, too *
362
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:25,400
* we see by your outfits *
363
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:28,300
* that you are both cowboys *
364
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:30,900
* if we get some outfits *
365
00:16:30,900 --> 00:16:34,700
* we can be cowboys, too *
366
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,500
they're making fun of us.
367
00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:39,600
i heard it.
368
00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,200
that was a smothers brothers' bit.
369
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,600
you know, i didn't like that song.
370
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,100
we went to a lot of trouble
to get just the right outfits,
371
00:16:45,100 --> 00:16:46,200
and we quite like them.
372
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,100
that song wasn't
in the spirit, melvin.
373
00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:49,100
well, good buddy,
374
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,500
most hats don't
come with on/off buttons.
375
00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:54,500
turn your hats on, al, denny.
376
00:16:54,500 --> 00:16:55,600
let the group see.
377
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:56,900
there's nothing wrong with a hat
378
00:16:56,900 --> 00:16:59,600
be ed as a light source
in case of emergency.
379
00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,800
no dou. turn 'em on.
let us have a look.
380
00:17:08,300 --> 00:17:10,900
- what?
- they're just jealous.
381
00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:15,100
come on, denny.
let's go back to the tent.
382
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,000
do you think there are
mountain lions out there...
383
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,200
or wolves?
384
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,500
could be.
385
00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,600
denny, i really
want to go home.
386
00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:57,400
can we please go home
in the morning?
387
00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,100
- it's our first day.
- i don't care.
388
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,500
i don't like
pooping in the woods.
389
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:05,500
i may have wiped myself
with poison oak.
390
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,300
and i don't like the group.
391
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,900
it reminds me was little
and kids were mean.
392
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,200
i was bullied
as a child, you know?
393
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,100
alan, i gotta
tell you something,
394
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,700
and i don't want you
to take it personally.
395
00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:18,300
promise me you won't
take it personally.
396
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,100
ok, what?
397
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,400
i-i have an erection.
398
00:18:22,400 --> 00:18:23,100
oh!
399
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:25,800
it has nothing to do
with you personally. i swear.
400
00:18:26,100 --> 00:18:26,700
i've had it all day,
401
00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:29,700
ever since i took the viagra
thinking it was my hay fever pills.
402
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:31,800
and i-i think i got one of those
403
00:18:32,900 --> 00:18:34,500
priapism things.
404
00:18:34,500 --> 00:18:36,700
- that can be dangerous.
- i know.
405
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:39,700
what if the group finds out?
406
00:18:39,900 --> 00:18:41,800
alan, would you take a look? because--
407
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:42,900
absolutely not.
408
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,000
- alan--
- no.
409
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:45,800
well, what am i gonna do?
410
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:47,200
plus, i gotta pee,
411
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:48,700
which is almost impossible when--
412
00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:52,000
we are going home
first thing in the morning.
413
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:58,200
what was that?
414
00:19:01,500 --> 00:19:03,100
something's out there.
415
00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:05,400
hello?
416
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:08,800
hello.
417
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,100
go out and look.
418
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,800
- you go.
- no, you have to pee anyway.
419
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:23,200
there.
420
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:25,100
it's just a sheep.
421
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,900
are they ve ious,
the wild ones?
422
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:29,900
i don't think so.
423
00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:32,700
i'm gonna go try and pee.
424
00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:34,400
hurry.
425
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,000
get back in this tent.
426
00:20:02,300 --> 00:20:03,100
what?
427
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:06,500
don't even think of it.
just... get back here.
428
00:20:06,700 --> 00:20:08,100
i think she loves me.
429
00:20:08,135 --> 00:20:09,800
never mind.
430
00:20:21,600 --> 00:20:24,100
that's me, in college.
431
00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,500
and... here, here.
432
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:28,800
that's me in high school.
433
00:20:28,900 --> 00:20:30,200
i was wild.
434
00:20:30,235 --> 00:20:32,600
my parents thought i was
a problem, all right?
435
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:34,200
i was plenty wild.
436
00:20:34,235 --> 00:20:36,100
my goodness.
who is this person?
437
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:39,100
so don't pity me.
i was once very much a kid.
438
00:20:39,135 --> 00:20:40,900
i-i never meant to
imply that you weren't.
439
00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:43,800
i was simply pitying the fact
that you no longer are.
440
00:20:43,835 --> 00:20:46,000
they--they say we were
happiest as children,
441
00:20:46,100 --> 00:20:48,500
and those most happy in adulthood
442
00:20:48,535 --> 00:20:51,400
are the ones who never
let die the child within.
443
00:20:51,500 --> 00:20:54,600
there e plenty of proper lawyers
who dress up on halloween
444
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:57,400
or who wear hula skirts in hawaii.
445
00:20:57,500 --> 00:21:00,700
denny and alan are off somewhere
pretending to be cowboys.
446
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,500
but that sort of nonsense
doesn't work for carl sack.
447
00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:06,300
that's not him.
448
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:10,500
perhaps someone he used
to be, but not anymore.
449
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,900
most certainly not.
450
00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,900
dot take it personally, carl.
451
00:21:17,935 --> 00:21:20,300
oh, how can i not, shirley?
452
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:21,900
it wasn't a professional criticism.
453
00:21:21,935 --> 00:21:23,600
it was personal.
454
00:21:23,635 --> 00:21:26,100
actually, i wouldn't mind a
professional critique once in a while,
455
00:21:26,135 --> 00:21:27,400
but...
456
00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,400
well, personally,
i consider myself..
457
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:31,900
professional.
458
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,700
what--don't bite your lip.
459
00:21:33,735 --> 00:21:35,300
i don't like it
when you bite your lip.
460
00:21:35,335 --> 00:21:36,600
how about i bite yours?
461
00:21:36,635 --> 00:21:37,900
oh, you're handling me now.
462
00:21:37,935 --> 00:21:39,400
- yes, i am.
- mm.
463
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:41,400
- in the office.
- i know.
464
00:21:41,435 --> 00:21:42,400
i'm not a fuddy-duddy.
465
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:44,500
yes, you are,
a little one.
466
00:21:44,700 --> 00:21:47,100
it doesn't matter.
i like fuddy-duddies.
467
00:21:47,135 --> 00:21:49,200
and hey, should mccain get in,
468
00:21:49,235 --> 00:21:51,700
we'd actually have
a fuddy-duddy in chief.
469
00:21:51,735 --> 00:21:53,700
oh. elmer fuddy-duddy.
470
00:21:55,500 --> 00:21:57,400
- let's go to dinner.
- i can't.
471
00:21:57,500 --> 00:21:59,600
i have to work on my closing.
472
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:01,100
lord knows what i'm gonna say.
473
00:22:01,135 --> 00:22:04,200
she practically blew up her doctor.
474
00:22:04,300 --> 00:22:05,600
you sound a little dismilee.
475
00:22:05,635 --> 00:22:09,600
well, if you knew
this crazy catherine piper...
476
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,800
did i ever tell you
how my mother died?
477
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:18,000
new blood thinner medication,
which, when combined with aspirin,
478
00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:21,200
caused her to bleed out
through an ulcer.
479
00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:24,100
turns out her doctor,
who escribed the medication,
480
00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:27,500
was a paid consultant
for the drug company.
481
00:22:27,700 --> 00:22:30,400
but you don't think doctors
are on the take, do you?
482
00:22:30,500 --> 00:22:33,500
i think they prescribe
drugs theyugnk are safe.
483
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:34,700
but, i mean, let's face it,
484
00:22:34,735 --> 00:22:38,700
with the rising malpractice premiums,
lower h.m.o. reimbursements,
485
00:22:38,735 --> 00:22:41,600
many doctors can't even afford
to practice these days
486
00:22:41,635 --> 00:22:45,300
without pharmaceutical
consulting grants.
487
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,700
and with those grants...
488
00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:51,500
comes a loss of objectivity.
489
00:22:52,100 --> 00:22:54,700
did this doctor at least
tell this crazy catherine piper
490
00:22:54,735 --> 00:22:57,200
that he was on
the drug company's payroll?
491
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,000
no.
492
00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:01,500
hmm.
493
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:15,900
hello.
494
00:23:16,700 --> 00:23:19,500
denny. denny!
495
00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:20,900
where are you?
496
00:23:20,935 --> 00:23:22,400
i'm trapped.
497
00:23:23,300 --> 00:23:24,600
you gotta come and help me.
498
00:23:24,635 --> 00:23:26,000
trapped?
499
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:28,000
where? what's going on?
500
00:23:28,035 --> 00:23:30,000
in hoberinn's tent.
501
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:31,900
i came to visit irene.
502
00:23:31,935 --> 00:23:33,500
- what?
- shh.
503
00:23:33,535 --> 00:23:36,700
i fell asleep after.
now irene's gone.
504
00:23:36,735 --> 00:23:39,500
and ian's passed out
on top of me.
505
00:23:39,535 --> 00:23:41,000
i can't move.
506
00:23:41,035 --> 00:23:42,500
you've gotta be kidding me.
507
00:23:42,535 --> 00:23:45,800
get over here
and help get me free
508
00:23:45,900 --> 00:23:47,300
before he wakes up.
509
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:50,000
- where's irene?
- i don't know.
510
00:23:50,035 --> 00:23:53,700
just get over here. hurry.
511
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,700
which tent ah ...
512
00:24:00,100 --> 00:24:01,500
never mind.
513
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:03,700
i think i know.
514
00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,600
oh, my.
515
00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:13,200
see if you can get his leg off.
516
00:24:13,300 --> 00:24:14,000
where's irene?
517
00:24:14,035 --> 00:24:15,600
would you forget about irene?
518
00:24:15,700 --> 00:24:18,300
mm. mm.
519
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:25,400
hurr
520
00:24:25,435 --> 00:24:27,200
don't rush me.
521
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:50,800
get his arm.
522
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,800
this won't be easy.
523
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:05,300
aah!
524
00:25:05,335 --> 00:25:11,300
- aah!
- aah!
525
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,100
i still don't understand.
where exactly was irene?
526
00:25:25,135 --> 00:25:26,500
she went out to pee.
527
00:25:26,600 --> 00:25:28,600
then ian came in drunk, crashed.
528
00:25:28,700 --> 00:25:30,100
let's get outta here.
529
00:25:30,135 --> 00:25:32,600
maybe we can get back
in time for halloween.
530
00:25:32,635 --> 00:25:34,400
we could go as cowboys.
531
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:36,100
and where do you think you're goin'?
532
00:25:36,135 --> 00:25:38,500
we're gettin' the hell outta dodge.
533
00:25:38,800 --> 00:25:40,900
's with the rifle?
534
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,800
you have to marry irene
535
00:25:43,900 --> 00:25:47,100
or the sheep or the captain
of the hockey team.
536
00:25:47,135 --> 00:25:48,500
you think you're funny.
537
00:25:48,535 --> 00:25:51,200
i paid a lot of money
for the trip of a lifetime.
538
00:25:51,235 --> 00:25:53,600
well, you certainly got that,
didn't you, ian?
539
00:25:53,635 --> 00:25:55,600
in addition to being
head of this dude ranch,
540
00:25:55,635 --> 00:25:58,000
i'm a volunteer constable sheriff.
541
00:25:58,100 --> 00:25:59,000
good for you.
542
00:25:59,035 --> 00:26:00,800
i'm placing you under arrest.
543
00:26:00,835 --> 00:26:01,900
arrest?
544
00:26:02,100 --> 00:26:02,700
for what?
545
00:26:02,735 --> 00:26:04,800
adultery is a crime
in the state of utah,
546
00:26:04,835 --> 00:26:07,400
- as is fornication out of wedlock.
- very funny.
547
00:26:07,500 --> 00:26:10,000
- you have the right to remain silent--
- you must be joking.
548
00:26:10,035 --> 00:26:11,900
and you're under arrest, too.
549
00:26:11,935 --> 00:26:12,900
me? for what?
550
00:26:12,935 --> 00:26:14,700
conspiracy to commit adultery,
551
00:26:14,735 --> 00:26:17,600
aiding and abetting
an adulterer and a fornicator.
552
00:26:17,635 --> 00:26:19,800
now you have the experience
of a lifetime, don't you,
553
00:26:19,900 --> 00:26:22,600
mr. boston, mr. red sox fan,
554
00:26:22,700 --> 00:26:25,500
mr. aider and abetter
from the evil red sox nation?
555
00:26:25,535 --> 00:26:27,100
all right. that does it.
556
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:28,800
- oh, for god sake.
- ian!
557
00:26:28,835 --> 00:26:29,700
- denny.
- it's a--
558
00:26:29,735 --> 00:26:31,500
it's a tranq gun.
he'll sleep it off.
559
00:26:31,535 --> 00:26:34,600
put down your weapon now, sir.
560
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,800
whether the doctor
made a mistake or not,
561
00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:51,500
that doesn't give her the right
to set fire to his office.
562
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,000
oh, sure. they put up
a hired gun expert to claim
563
00:26:54,035 --> 00:26:56,000
that she was temporarily insane.
564
00:26:56,100 --> 00:26:57,500
"dissociative state,"
565
00:26:57,535 --> 00:26:59,400
couldn't distinguish
right from wrong,
566
00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:02,400
not capable of forming
mental intent--
567
00:27:02,435 --> 00:27:04,200
all the technical buzzwords
568
00:27:04,235 --> 00:27:06,600
to allow you to free
569
00:27:06,700 --> 00:27:08,900
a sweet old lady.
570
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,600
but you all know what happened.
571
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:14,400
she got mad...
572
00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:16,600
and got even.
573
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:21,000
you know the death grip
the pharmaceutical industry
574
00:27:21,035 --> 00:27:22,300
has on this country.
575
00:27:22,335 --> 00:27:24,800
they've infiltrated the f.d.a.
576
00:27:24,900 --> 00:27:26,100
a study showed that
577
00:27:26,135 --> 00:27:29,500
90% of all f.d.a. advisory meetings
578
00:27:29,535 --> 00:27:32,900
had at least one person
with ties to big pharmigeutical,
579
00:27:32,935 --> 00:27:34,900
and then there's congress.
580
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:40,000
big pharma gave members of
congress $70 million since 1990.
581
00:27:40,035 --> 00:27:43,100
so who does that leave us
with but our doctors?
582
00:27:43,135 --> 00:27:45,500
and even they're being bought.
583
00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:48,100
between consulting fees and rebates,
584
00:27:48,135 --> 00:27:51,400
doctors get hundreds of millions
of dollars every year,
585
00:27:51,435 --> 00:27:53,300
and my god, look what's happening.
586
00:27:53,335 --> 00:27:56,400
drugs are being prescribed like candy.
587
00:27:56,435 --> 00:27:58,900
a famed harvard psychiatrist--
588
00:27:58,935 --> 00:28:03,300
he helped fuel the recent boom
in antipsychotics for kids--
589
00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:07,400
turns out he personally took
590
00:28:08,700 --> 00:28:10,700
over the past seven years.
591
00:28:10,735 --> 00:28:11,300
um,
592
00:28:11,335 --> 00:28:15,300
he also failed to report this income
to the university, by the way.
593
00:28:16,300 --> 00:28:17,700
how can this be?
594
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:19,500
we have no regulations,
595
00:28:19,535 --> 00:28:22,100
no disclosure procedures in place.
596
00:28:22,135 --> 00:28:23,700
nothing to ensure
597
00:28:23,735 --> 00:28:26,100
that we the patients can know
598
00:28:26,135 --> 00:28:29,100
whether our doctor
is on the take.
599
00:28:29,800 --> 00:28:31,600
how can this be?
600
00:28:31,700 --> 00:28:34,000
catherine piper
had a heart attack.
601
00:28:34,035 --> 00:28:35,900
she almost died.
602
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,200
an unsafe drug was rushed
to the market.
603
00:28:38,235 --> 00:28:41,100
it was prescribed
by her own physician,
604
00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:45,200
perhaps because he had
a financial incentive to do so.
605
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,000
she nearly died.
606
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,400
when you go back to
that room, i want you to...
607
00:28:52,700 --> 00:28:56,600
try to imagine what it's like
to suffer a heart attack,
608
00:28:56,635 --> 00:29:00,900
to be lying on your kitchen floor
609
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:02,200
with no one around,
610
00:29:02,235 --> 00:29:04,100
thinking,
611
00:29:04,300 --> 00:29:06,400
this is it.
612
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:10,700
it mot even possible
to imagine that.
613
00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:12,600
but then...
614
00:29:12,700 --> 00:29:14,000
she found out
615
00:29:14,035 --> 00:29:18,000
that the person she
perhaps trusted the most
616
00:29:18,100 --> 00:29:20,200
did this to her.
617
00:29:20,900 --> 00:29:23,400
it made her crazy.
618
00:29:24,500 --> 00:29:26,600
wouldn't it you?
619
00:29:47,500 --> 00:29:48,600
jerry?
620
00:29:48,700 --> 00:29:50,300
katie.
621
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:53,200
you have a paper bag
over your head.
622
00:29:53,400 --> 00:29:54,800
i do.
623
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:57,100
could you tell me why?
624
00:29:57,800 --> 00:30:00,500
i was looking to crawl
under a big rock.
625
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:02,100
there were none available.
626
00:30:02,135 --> 00:30:04,200
the reason you wanted to
crawl under a big rock?
627
00:30:04,235 --> 00:30:08,200
i passed three partners today
who called me bo.
628
00:30:08,235 --> 00:30:11,000
a fourth referred to me
as the peepster.
629
00:30:11,035 --> 00:30:14,100
evidently i was seen dressed
for halloween prematurely.
630
00:30:14,135 --> 00:30:15,200
and this is tragic?
631
00:30:15,235 --> 00:30:17,700
it is if one wants
to make partner.
632
00:30:17,735 --> 00:30:19,600
and if those same partners
633
00:30:19,635 --> 00:30:22,500
were to catch a glance of you
with a paper bag on your head?
634
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:23,700
the damage is done.
635
00:30:23,735 --> 00:30:25,200
jerry, take the bag off.
636
00:30:25,300 --> 00:30:28,300
you'll likely breathe in your own
carbon dioxide. it's not healthy.
637
00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:30,000
take it off.
638
00:30:30,300 --> 00:30:31,900
oh.
639
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:37,200
do you know what happens to lawyers
who make partner, jerry?
640
00:30:37,300 --> 00:30:39,600
they become locked in, lifers.
641
00:30:39,700 --> 00:30:41,400
i'm not sure that's
something you want.
642
00:30:41,500 --> 00:30:44,500
plus, there's rumors concerning
the firm's financial health.
643
00:30:44,535 --> 00:30:46,400
we represent a lot of
mortgage lenders.
644
00:30:46,435 --> 00:30:49,200
partners don't just get the fruits.
they get all the liabilities.
645
00:30:49,235 --> 00:30:51,800
it's just, for seven years,
646
00:30:51,835 --> 00:30:54,300
i've chased this particular carrot.
647
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:55,900
didn't get it.
648
00:30:56,100 --> 00:30:58,100
now i'm up again.
649
00:30:59,300 --> 00:31:02,200
- if i blow it--
- this is that important?
650
00:31:02,235 --> 00:31:03,800
yes.
651
00:31:04,700 --> 00:31:07,300
well, if my opinion counts
for anything, i...
652
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:10,500
i thought you made
a rfectly fab lady peep.
653
00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:27,000
what's wrong?
654
00:31:27,900 --> 00:31:29,900
they were arrested.
655
00:31:32,300 --> 00:31:34,500
- who?
- denny and alan.
656
00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:35,500
for what?
657
00:31:35,535 --> 00:31:38,400
ah, it seems denny
committed adultery,
658
00:31:38,435 --> 00:31:41,300
which evidently
can be prosecuted in...
659
00:31:41,500 --> 00:31:42,900
i don't know what alan did.
660
00:31:42,935 --> 00:31:43,800
they're being arraigned
in the morning.
661
00:31:43,835 --> 00:31:47,000
can't they go to a stupid dude
ranch without get--
662
00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:50,400
boy, you just find everythi
663
00:31:50,435 --> 00:31:52,600
i'm--i'm sorry. i don't know
what happened there.
664
00:31:52,635 --> 00:31:53,700
yes, you do.
665
00:31:53,900 --> 00:31:55,800
denny did something crazy.
666
00:31:56,100 --> 00:31:57,900
last week, he bet on a case.
667
00:31:57,935 --> 00:32:01,000
the week before that, he had his
penis hooked up to a monitor.
668
00:32:01,035 --> 00:32:02,900
it was cock-a-doodle-doing
in a courtroom.
669
00:32:02,935 --> 00:32:05,500
i mean, it's just
one thing after another.
670
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:09,100
hey... and i'm not being
elmer fuddy, shirley.
671
00:32:09,135 --> 00:32:11,000
the man is losing his mind.
672
00:32:11,100 --> 00:32:12,300
we all know it.
we laugh it off.
673
00:32:12,335 --> 00:32:15,600
we say, "isn't the mad cow cute?"
674
00:32:16,900 --> 00:32:19,200
at what point does it
stop being funny?
675
00:32:19,700 --> 00:32:23,700
at what point do we all
admit the man needs help?
676
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:33,900
case number 4-2-1-2.
677
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,100
"state of utah vs. denny crane"
678
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:37,800
on the charge of adultery,
679
00:32:37,835 --> 00:32:39,800
- conspiracy to commit"--
- alan shore for the defendaal,
680
00:32:39,835 --> 00:32:40,600
your honor.
681
00:32:40,635 --> 00:32:42,700
we waive reading,
and plead not guilty
682
00:32:42,735 --> 00:32:44,000
and ask for immediate extradition
683
00:32:44,035 --> 00:32:46,500
to the commonwealth of massachusetts
or any jurisdiction
684
00:32:46,535 --> 00:32:48,900
where the criminal justice code
isn't written in the good book.
685
00:32:48,935 --> 00:32:49,900
hold on. wait a sec.
686
00:32:49,935 --> 00:32:51,800
he's a defendant, too, judge.
687
00:32:51,900 --> 00:32:53,200
yes, i am, your honor.
688
00:32:53,235 --> 00:32:55,600
mr. crane would be
your adulterer and fornicator.
689
00:32:55,635 --> 00:32:57,100
i would be your aider and abetter.
690
00:32:57,135 --> 00:32:59,900
i'm not quite sure
how irene escaped charges
691
00:32:59,935 --> 00:33:03,900
since adulterating and fornicating
is traditionaldi done in tandem.
692
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:07,000
mr. shore, defendants
693
00:33:07,035 --> 00:33:07,800
ah.
694
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,600
so that little right
to confront one's accuser?
695
00:33:10,635 --> 00:33:12,600
how's that done,
on the web?
696
00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:14,000
if you cannot afford counsel,
697
00:33:14,035 --> 00:33:15,200
- one will--
- i can. i'm rich.
698
00:33:15,235 --> 00:33:17,100
actually, denny and i
flew here private.
699
00:33:17,135 --> 00:33:21,100
we can afford the best attorneys
and sometimes judges that money can buy.
700
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:22,200
i'll represent myself,
701
00:33:22,235 --> 00:33:24,400
and let me just toss out
as an ice breaker,
702
00:33:24,435 --> 00:33:27,400
utah is not the state that
wants to prosecute adultery.
703
00:33:27,435 --> 00:33:31,100
while it may technically be a crime,
so's polygamy, which you don't prosecute.
704
00:33:31,135 --> 00:33:34,000
i'm sure i'll get letters
for sayifor ut you don't.
705
00:33:34,100 --> 00:33:36,600
i seem to be getting a lot of
gavel whacks. is it just me?
706
00:33:36,635 --> 00:33:39,500
your own attorney general,
uh, went on record as saying
707
00:33:39,535 --> 00:33:41,900
you lack the resources to
go after all the polygamists.
708
00:33:41,935 --> 00:33:43,700
let's face it,
you've got a lot of them.
709
00:33:43,735 --> 00:33:45,500
not a judgment.
personally, i'm a fan.
710
00:33:45,535 --> 00:33:48,800
so's denny. he's had six wives.
is it six or seven?
711
00:33:48,835 --> 00:33:51,000
the former head
of "now" in utah--
712
00:33:51,035 --> 00:33:54,600
i love that the national organization
of women actuallyas a chapter in utah--
713
00:33:54,635 --> 00:33:57,300
anyway, she said the antipolygamy law
714
00:33:57,335 --> 00:34:00,100
has become as irrelevant as
the spitting-on-the-sidewalk ordinance.
715
00:34:00,135 --> 00:34:02,300
now i know how we all
love to spit in utah.
716
00:34:02,335 --> 00:34:05,800
you look like a lougie hacker
from way back. send those letters.
717
00:34:05,835 --> 00:34:07,900
i even find polygamy funny,
just a little--
718
00:34:07,935 --> 00:34:10,800
these loser guys with
all these women, the hairdos.
719
00:34:10,835 --> 00:34:14,000
unfortunately, in many cases,
there's child abuse involved.
720
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:16,600
whack away, but if you're
going to ignore child abusers
721
00:34:16,635 --> 00:34:19,000
and come after me for
aiding and abetting adultery,
722
00:34:19,035 --> 00:34:21,100
well, all i can say is,
take your shot.
723
00:34:21,135 --> 00:34:23,200
please. i beg you.
take your shot.
724
00:34:23,235 --> 00:34:26,700
mr. shore, are you threate tng
the good state of utah?
725
00:34:26,735 --> 00:34:28,700
quick study. i can
they made you judge.
726
00:34:28,735 --> 00:34:29,900
that's exactly what i'm doing.
727
00:34:29,935 --> 00:34:31,200
i'm ready to take on the state,
728
00:34:31,235 --> 00:34:33,100
mr. constable with the rifle there,
729
00:34:33,135 --> 00:34:35,600
??, let the fun begin.
730
00:34:35,635 --> 00:34:37,700
oh, it will be fun,
but first,
731
00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:40,200
i don't let people represent
themselves in my courtroom,
732
00:34:40,235 --> 00:34:42,100
so the first thing
we're going to do
733
00:34:42,135 --> 00:34:44,700
is get you an independent lawyer.
734
00:34:44,735 --> 00:34:48,300
judge, i'll represent
735
00:34:48,335 --> 00:34:50,700
oh, no. i'm not
gonna be defended by him
736
00:34:50,735 --> 00:34:53,400
- or any other clown--
- i was there, judge.
737
00:34:53,435 --> 00:34:55,600
i could be a witness,
in fact-- your call--
738
00:34:55,635 --> 00:34:57,600
but either way,
i could tell you a few things
739
00:34:57,635 --> 00:35:00,500
about mr. shore and mr. crane.
740
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,200
shall we go to chambers?
741
00:35:02,235 --> 00:35:03,800
- let's go.
- wait a second.
742
00:35:03,835 --> 00:35:05,100
if you're gonna have
an ex-parte meeting,
743
00:35:05,135 --> 00:35:06,600
we have a right to be present.
744
00:35:06,635 --> 00:35:09,200
fine. but you keep
your mouth absolutely shut.
745
00:35:09,235 --> 00:35:11,200
one word, and you're out.
746
00:35:11,235 --> 00:35:12,500
what the hell are you doing?
747
00:35:12,535 --> 00:35:14,400
just do as the judge says, al.
748
00:35:14,435 --> 00:35:17,900
for once in your life,
let me do the talkin'.
749
00:35:21,100 --> 00:35:22,300
first of all, i don't know--
750
00:35:22,335 --> 00:35:23,800
first of all,
you don't talk.
751
00:35:23,900 --> 00:35:26,800
not a peep,
or you go to jail.
752
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:27,800
let's hear it.
753
00:35:27,835 --> 00:35:29,500
judge, i'm gonna be honest.
754
00:35:29,535 --> 00:35:31,800
i don't like this man.
755
00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:33,300
the old guy i kind of enjoy.
756
00:35:33,335 --> 00:35:35,600
he's just an old fart
who should be retired to stud.
757
00:35:35,635 --> 00:35:37,600
but him? i'll tell you what,
758
00:35:37,700 --> 00:35:39,600
i'm from texas, and in texas,
759
00:35:39,635 --> 00:35:42,100
if somebody messes with
a man's wife, you shoot him.
760
00:35:42,135 --> 00:35:44,200
hell, he steps on
your property, you shoot him.
761
00:35:44,235 --> 00:35:45,300
well, let me tell you something,
762
00:35:45,335 --> 00:35:48,400
this guy, he wants
to stand triere.
763
00:35:48,435 --> 00:35:50,700
that's why he was
baiting you like that.
764
00:35:50,735 --> 00:35:53,900
he gets his jollies out of
playing david against goliath,
765
00:35:53,935 --> 00:35:56,000
that's what he does.
but the thing is,
766
00:35:56,100 --> 00:35:59,100
he wields one hell of a slingshot.
767
00:35:59,300 --> 00:36:01,200
he took on the entire supreme court,
768
00:36:01,235 --> 00:36:04,500
insulted every one of 'em,
and he won his case to boot.
769
00:36:04,535 --> 00:36:07,600
this man can make some
serious noise in a courtroom,
770
00:36:07,635 --> 00:36:09,000
and let's face it,
771
00:36:09,100 --> 00:36:12,500
none of us wants to see
a big flap here, do we?
772
00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:15,000
prosecuting for adultery?
773
00:36:15,100 --> 00:36:17,200
nobody does that,
not even texas.
774
00:36:17,235 --> 00:36:19,200
you certainly don't want
to be doing that here,
775
00:36:19,235 --> 00:36:21,800
not with the polygamy thing going on.
776
00:36:21,835 --> 00:36:25,600
polygamy is illegal in utah,
and not practiced by the majority--
777
00:36:25,635 --> 00:36:28,300
but it goes on, judge.
it goes on.
778
00:36:28,335 --> 00:36:31,400
and like he said,
often with underage girls.
779
00:36:31,435 --> 00:36:33,000
now utah's a fine state--
780
00:36:33,035 --> 00:36:36,200
fresh air, fine people,
orrin hatch-- you got it all.
781
00:36:36,235 --> 00:36:38,800
but this polygamy thing...
782
00:36:38,900 --> 00:36:41,800
he's dying to get his day
in your court.
783
00:36:41,835 --> 00:36:43,500
don't make his day, judge.
784
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:45,300
don't give this son of
a bitch what he wants.
785
00:36:45,335 --> 00:36:47,200
boot his girlie ass outta here.
786
00:36:47,235 --> 00:36:48,100
otherwise
787
00:36:48,135 --> 00:36:52,100
you'll be spoon-feeding him
the soapbox of a lifetime.
788
00:36:52,300 --> 00:36:55,200
look at the way
he's drooling already.
789
00:36:55,300 --> 00:36:59,200
so's the old guy,
but that's the mad cow.
790
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:01,900
i'm dismissing the charges.
791
00:37:01,935 --> 00:37:02,900
too bad, al.
792
00:37:02,935 --> 00:37:05,900
and i'm banning the both of you
from utah for life.
793
00:37:05,935 --> 00:37:08,600
what? i got rezzies
at deer valley. i'mlready booked.
794
00:37:08,635 --> 00:37:10,800
you'll be booked in here
if you don't shut your mouth!
795
00:37:10,835 --> 00:37:12,400
get out of here, both of you!
796
00:37:12,600 --> 00:37:14,900
i never want to see you again.
797
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:27,900
ey weren't out very long.
798
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,300
do you think
they considered me sane?
799
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:32,900
if only they could
know you like i do.
800
00:37:32,935 --> 00:37:36,200
i don't think i could
handle prison, shirley.
801
00:37:36,235 --> 00:37:39,200
i hear the fights in the yard
can get pretty rough.
802
00:37:39,300 --> 00:37:41,000
f upper lip, catherine.
803
00:37:41,100 --> 00:37:43,400
will the defendant please rise?
804
00:37:43,700 --> 00:37:45,000
madam foreperson,
805
00:37:45,100 --> 00:37:47,600
has the jury reached
a unanimous verdict?
806
00:37:47,635 --> 00:37:49,200
we have, your honor.
807
00:37:49,235 --> 00:37:52,900
"in the matter of the commonwealth
of massachusetts vs. catherine piper
808
00:37:52,935 --> 00:37:55,800
"on the charge of
attempted murder and arson,
809
00:37:55,835 --> 00:37:58,300
"we find the defendant
catherine piper
810
00:37:58,335 --> 00:38:01,700
not guilty by reason
of temporary insanity."
811
00:38:01,735 --> 00:38:03,500
ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
812
00:38:03,600 --> 00:38:06,100
thank you for your service.
you are dismissed.
813
00:38:06,135 --> 00:38:07,800
this court is adjourned.
814
00:38:07,900 --> 00:38:10,100
thank god they bought it.
815
00:38:10,900 --> 00:38:14,500
well, i guess prison's
gonna have to wait.
816
00:38:14,900 --> 00:38:17,000
well, until your next crime.
817
00:38:17,300 --> 00:38:19,200
oh, thank you, shirley.
818
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:22,400
you've been almost like
a big sister to me.
819
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:25,000
i--i'm touched.
820
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,700
melvin palmer--of
all people to get us off.
821
00:38:31,735 --> 00:38:34,100
i now have to feel
indebted to him.
822
00:38:34,135 --> 00:38:35,100
can you imagine--
823
00:38:35,135 --> 00:38:36,800
- ah, he's a good guy.
- good guy?
824
00:38:36,835 --> 00:38:38,800
- i like him.
- how can you possib--
825
00:38:39,100 --> 00:38:40,600
oh, my.
826
00:38:45,300 --> 00:38:46,400
okay.
827
00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:48,000
let's hear it.
828
00:38:48,100 --> 00:38:51,300
you are so sexy.
829
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,500
- so are you.
- thank you, denny.
830
00:38:53,535 --> 00:38:55,700
we're off to a party. really?
831
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:59,300
i thought maybe carl was
taking you to his favorite club.
832
00:38:59,335 --> 00:39:01,100
- very funny.
- i'm not kidding, carl.
833
00:39:01,135 --> 00:39:04,600
after a few days on a dude ranch,
you actually look good to me.
834
00:39:04,635 --> 00:39:06,600
don't you agree, denny?
835
00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:09,200
denny?
836
00:39:09,300 --> 00:39:10,900
- aah!
- denny!
837
00:39:10,935 --> 00:39:12,900
- denny, hey!
- what the hell?
838
00:39:12,935 --> 00:39:14,300
- denny!
- what is wrong with you?
839
00:39:14,335 --> 00:39:15,900
good god! are you all right?
840
00:39:15,935 --> 00:39:17,600
- i think he bit me.
- what?!
841
00:39:17,700 --> 00:39:20,300
will you ever change?
842
00:39:30,500 --> 00:39:32,200
i feel a little gypped.
843
00:39:32,300 --> 00:39:34,400
that whole trip was just...
844
00:39:34,500 --> 00:39:36,100
unsasfying.
845
00:39:36,135 --> 00:39:37,600
how so?
846
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:39,400
i don't know.
847
00:39:42,900 --> 00:39:44,500
maybe it was the stark contrast
848
00:39:44,535 --> 00:39:48,100
between that magnificent scenery
and those awful ranching people.
849
00:39:48,135 --> 00:39:50,500
well, at least you and i got
to spend some time together.
850
00:39:50,535 --> 00:39:54,500
oh, please. you only
had eyes for barnyard animals.
851
00:39:55,300 --> 00:39:58,800
denny, you think i was too rough
o utah,ta playing the polygamy card?
852
00:39:58,835 --> 00:40:02,000
it was cheap, but hey,
they came after us first.
853
00:40:02,035 --> 00:40:04,800
we have to take another trip.
this one didn't count.
854
00:40:07,100 --> 00:40:08,700
they were wrong about our outfits.
855
00:40:08,735 --> 00:40:10,400
- we were hot.
- we're always hot.
856
00:40:10,435 --> 00:40:12,000
irene...
857
00:40:12,200 --> 00:40:13,400
loved me.
could you tell?
858
00:40:13,435 --> 00:40:14,600
ian didn't.
859
00:40:14,700 --> 00:40:15,900
no.
860
00:40:17,500 --> 00:40:21,200
the best sex to be had
is with the irenes of the world.
861
00:40:21,235 --> 00:40:22,000
do you know that?
862
00:40:22,035 --> 00:40:24,000
- i didn't, actually.
- oh, yeah.
863
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,100
see, the thing is,
women who look like that
864
00:40:27,200 --> 00:40:29,500
make love like it's the last sex
they'll ever have
865
00:40:29,535 --> 00:40:31,600
'cause it very well could be.
866
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:33,500
what?
867
00:40:33,535 --> 00:40:37,000
nothing, just absorbing
your latest pearl.
868
00:40:41,100 --> 00:40:46,000
you know, you look at the ians
and the melvin palmers...
869
00:40:46,100 --> 00:40:49,600
most men are so starved
for male friendship.
870
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:51,600
we're blessed, denny.
871
00:40:51,635 --> 00:40:52,500
of course we are,
872
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,800
and i'll bet we're the only ones
who shared the same sleeping bag.
873
00:40:55,835 --> 00:40:56,700
yeah.
874
00:40:56,735 --> 00:40:59,600
oh, i'm sorry about the erection.
875
00:41:00,300 --> 00:41:03,800
i'm over it.
mm.
876
00:41:06,100 --> 00:41:08,400
we really are the best couple i know.
877
00:41:08,435 --> 00:41:12,100
mm-hmm. and we only get better.
878
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:13,600
we do.
879
00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,600
we do.
880
00:41:18,100 --> 00:41:30,000
welcome to www.1000fr.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
63485
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof