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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:51,218 As the global pandemic rages on, 2 00:00:51,251 --> 00:00:55,155 deaths in the United States have reached an all time high, 3 00:00:55,188 --> 00:00:56,658 crossing the 2 million mark. 4 00:00:56,691 --> 00:00:59,127 Tensions are high in Washington today 5 00:00:59,159 --> 00:01:00,560 as lawmakers attempt to tighten up 6 00:01:00,594 --> 00:01:03,230 a more coordinated national response. 7 00:01:03,263 --> 00:01:05,833 As the Southern California Vincent Fire 8 00:01:05,867 --> 00:01:08,301 overtakes Malibu and the West Hills, 9 00:01:08,335 --> 00:01:10,537 residents fear the upcoming aggressive 10 00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:14,042 and historically unpredictable Santa Ana Winds 11 00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:16,878 will blow sparks, igniting other parts of Los Angeles. 12 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,880 The White House doctors today 13 00:01:18,913 --> 00:01:20,848 said that immunocompromised people, 14 00:01:20,882 --> 00:01:23,216 those with cancer, autoimmune disorders, 15 00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,419 and the elderly, must be extra careful 16 00:01:25,452 --> 00:01:27,989 as we enter the second wave. 17 00:04:07,782 --> 00:04:09,917 Hi. Hi. 18 00:04:09,951 --> 00:04:11,853 Hi. 19 00:04:11,886 --> 00:04:14,421 Hi, it's good to see you. 20 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:16,123 Oh, it's great to see you Beth. 21 00:04:16,157 --> 00:04:19,327 So, how was your weekend? What did you guys do? 22 00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:21,762 Oh, you know, we had a quiet weekend here, 23 00:04:21,796 --> 00:04:23,430 just a couple of movies. 24 00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:26,300 I expect just, you know, the same thing as everyone else, 25 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:29,337 but we tried to layer in some, like, active time too, 26 00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,038 - and went on a couple of walks. - Yeah. 27 00:04:31,072 --> 00:04:33,373 No, like the garden, the garden that you guys, 28 00:04:33,406 --> 00:04:36,143 you guys planted a garden, you... your, um... 29 00:04:36,177 --> 00:04:37,812 your husband, I saw on Facebook. 30 00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:39,213 He was, like, posting, like, when you 31 00:04:39,247 --> 00:04:40,781 and your daughter like digging up, 32 00:04:40,815 --> 00:04:42,283 like, you know, soil 33 00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:43,885 and like planting tomatoes, like, oh, my God. 34 00:04:43,918 --> 00:04:47,321 What a great guy he must be. Like, he is so handsome. 35 00:04:47,355 --> 00:04:49,624 Oh, you are... Well, you're both lucky. 36 00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:51,325 You're both very attractive people. 37 00:04:51,359 --> 00:04:53,361 You're lucky to have each other. 38 00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:55,630 I'm alone. 39 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,198 Thank you. Thanks Beth. 40 00:04:57,231 --> 00:04:58,465 What about the walks? 41 00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:00,134 Have you been taking any walks Beth? 42 00:05:02,402 --> 00:05:05,006 No, if I got coughed on, like, I would die, 43 00:05:05,039 --> 00:05:06,641 so I don't... 44 00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:08,910 I don't want to go outside. 45 00:05:08,943 --> 00:05:10,978 I... I can't see straight sometimes. 46 00:05:11,012 --> 00:05:13,347 And, like, I don't, um... 47 00:05:13,381 --> 00:05:14,882 It feels like someone's shaking me 48 00:05:14,916 --> 00:05:17,450 and then it's like, everything kind of goes blurry. 49 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,020 But, I mean, it doesn't last very long, 50 00:05:19,053 --> 00:05:20,388 but I just, like, 51 00:05:20,420 --> 00:05:22,757 I just don't feel very stable. 52 00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,358 I feel like I'm not doing anything else, 53 00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:27,328 but trying to get better and I'm not getting better. 54 00:05:27,361 --> 00:05:29,496 It is traumatic, in some ways, 55 00:05:29,529 --> 00:05:31,399 in order to change the system around, 56 00:05:31,431 --> 00:05:32,934 and it's changed the way it's functioning, 57 00:05:32,967 --> 00:05:34,268 but it is necessary to do this 58 00:05:34,302 --> 00:05:37,071 for a more prolonged lasting wellness. 59 00:05:37,104 --> 00:05:40,174 My brain and my body are not... 60 00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:41,574 connected. 61 00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,711 The things we do experience, and the... 62 00:05:43,744 --> 00:05:46,080 the trauma that... that affects us, 63 00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:47,348 that it does affect, 64 00:05:47,381 --> 00:05:50,017 and it does translate into the body. 65 00:05:50,051 --> 00:05:53,520 You were bitten by a tick at the age of ten. 66 00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:56,523 You want your life back. You want your life back. 67 00:05:56,556 --> 00:05:58,059 I never had a life, though. 68 00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:59,961 I never had a life to get back. 69 00:05:59,994 --> 00:06:01,929 I want to start my life 70 00:06:01,963 --> 00:06:03,798 because I've had this for 25 years. 71 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,667 So it's like I... I don't even have a jumping off point yet. 72 00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:09,370 Unfortunately, back then, 73 00:06:09,403 --> 00:06:12,773 there really were no Lyme literate doctors. 74 00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:14,809 It wasn't a part of our vocabulary. 75 00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,878 Look at it like this, Beth. 76 00:06:17,912 --> 00:06:20,247 Early childhood trauma loads the gun 77 00:06:20,281 --> 00:06:21,782 for chronic conditions. 78 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,918 Auto immune diseases like Lyme 79 00:06:23,951 --> 00:06:25,219 pull the trigger. 80 00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,289 Functional whole body medicine 81 00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:29,991 has come a long way. 82 00:06:30,024 --> 00:06:33,027 That's why we treat the body and the mind. 83 00:06:33,661 --> 00:06:35,463 You can't have one without the other. 84 00:06:36,263 --> 00:06:39,066 How has it been going talking with your parents? 85 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,401 Have you confronted them yet? 86 00:06:44,005 --> 00:06:46,607 I believe you that this is hard 87 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,776 and this is not something I take lightly. 88 00:06:48,809 --> 00:06:52,079 We've tried years of antibiotics, vegan, 89 00:06:52,113 --> 00:06:56,484 Paleo, talk therapy and EDMR, support groups, 90 00:06:56,516 --> 00:06:58,019 biofeedback and float tanks. 91 00:06:58,052 --> 00:07:01,322 Nothing has brought your inflammation levels down. 92 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:02,923 Nothing. 93 00:07:03,691 --> 00:07:05,426 Not confronting your parents, 94 00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:06,694 it's making you sicker, Beth. 95 00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:10,431 There's a house on a street by the sea... 96 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,435 with faded blue shingles, weathered to gray. 97 00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:16,504 It's lights burning bright, 98 00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:17,738 but never for me. 99 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:37,058 I have a question for you. 100 00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:42,830 If you knew then, 101 00:07:42,863 --> 00:07:44,298 when you were punishing me, 102 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:49,070 when you were... when you were hitting me with a belt 103 00:07:49,870 --> 00:07:50,938 and the switch, 104 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,308 if you knew then 105 00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:57,478 that it would make me grow up 106 00:07:58,546 --> 00:08:01,115 to be someone... 107 00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:06,420 who does this... 108 00:08:07,121 --> 00:08:08,722 every day, 109 00:08:08,756 --> 00:08:11,225 multiple times a day, 110 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,893 would you still do it? 111 00:08:14,295 --> 00:08:15,729 Would you still do it? 112 00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:18,399 I just want to know. 113 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:23,737 I have no self-esteem. 114 00:08:25,139 --> 00:08:27,508 And I don't know if that was just by design. 115 00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:30,177 Like, I don't know if you guys... 116 00:08:30,211 --> 00:08:31,912 you guys did all that 117 00:08:31,946 --> 00:08:33,180 so... so you would break me down 118 00:08:33,214 --> 00:08:34,715 and I wouldn't have my own identity 119 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:38,552 and I would just follow your very strict rules. 120 00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:41,889 I don't... I don't know if that was the desired effect. 121 00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:42,957 Maybe it was. 122 00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:51,031 Well, we all know I... I couldn't... I couldn't follow those rules. 123 00:08:57,238 --> 00:08:59,707 I think that everything that you guys did to me 124 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,275 when I was a kid, 125 00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:04,111 I stuffed down so deep... 126 00:09:07,781 --> 00:09:09,950 until one day my body just let it all go. 127 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,225 And now we're here. 128 00:09:34,609 --> 00:09:36,177 Who is this person? 129 00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,851 Eddie. Eddie. 130 00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:46,120 You want to talk so bad? 131 00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:55,896 Hi, is this Beth? 132 00:09:56,631 --> 00:09:58,667 - Yeah! - It's me, Eddie. 133 00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:01,202 We have a date tonight, I think. 134 00:10:01,235 --> 00:10:04,038 There's like 50 Beth Cs on here, shit! 135 00:10:04,338 --> 00:10:05,839 Huh? 136 00:10:05,873 --> 00:10:07,676 I'm supposed to... I'm supposed to be on this date, 137 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:10,311 a video date, uh, pandemic style. 138 00:10:10,344 --> 00:10:12,513 Is this like some kind of troll thing? 139 00:10:12,546 --> 00:10:15,650 No, I made a mistake. Honest mistake, okay. 140 00:10:15,684 --> 00:10:17,017 I was chatting with this girl 141 00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:20,487 on one of those free dating apps. 142 00:10:20,521 --> 00:10:22,790 Mixed bag, you know? 143 00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:26,628 Maybe I was meant to call you by accident. Huh? 144 00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,330 You believe in fate? 145 00:10:29,363 --> 00:10:32,667 Ooh, okay, yeah, I... I see. 146 00:10:32,701 --> 00:10:36,403 So like, you're just like some, like, internet scam artist. 147 00:10:36,437 --> 00:10:37,938 No. No. 148 00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:41,742 We could all use a friend right now. 149 00:10:41,775 --> 00:10:43,712 I don't have anybody to talk to. 150 00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:46,513 - I was supposed to be out on a date... - Clearly. 151 00:10:46,547 --> 00:10:49,383 And I wouldn't mind talking to someone 152 00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:52,286 and... and I... I mean, if you don't mind, 153 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:55,556 I... I'd like to chat a little bit. 154 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:58,425 You know, I didn't mean to interrupt what was go... 155 00:10:58,459 --> 00:11:00,361 I... I didn't mean anything like that. 156 00:11:00,394 --> 00:11:02,563 I'm trying to... I'm kind of nervous. 157 00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:03,998 I don't go on... on too many dates... 158 00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,232 Oh, you don't say? 159 00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,405 Oh, you're still here? 160 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:12,973 Are you okay? 161 00:11:13,774 --> 00:11:15,576 I am not having a good day. 162 00:11:16,745 --> 00:11:20,180 So, I'm really sorry that I... 163 00:11:20,214 --> 00:11:22,950 No, no, I'm... I'm sorry, I clearly interrupted. 164 00:11:22,983 --> 00:11:24,619 And, um... 165 00:11:24,653 --> 00:11:27,521 Which was not my intention at all. 166 00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:30,357 Listen, I mean, I don't know how long 167 00:11:30,391 --> 00:11:31,693 this has lasted already, 168 00:11:31,726 --> 00:11:33,394 but, I mean, we've come this far, 169 00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:35,229 so, hey, why don't... 170 00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:38,265 Hi, I'm... I'm Eddie, and, uh, 171 00:11:38,299 --> 00:11:39,701 it's... it's nice to meet you. 172 00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:44,305 Um, I'll extend my hand to you. 173 00:11:44,338 --> 00:11:47,941 - There... There you go. - Okay. 174 00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:50,712 - Okay. - So now we know each other. 175 00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:54,214 I'm... I'm from... I'm from New England. 176 00:11:54,248 --> 00:11:55,382 New England. 177 00:11:55,416 --> 00:11:56,718 Are you a fisherman? 178 00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,920 I do a little bit of fishing. 179 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:02,589 - Yeah? - I used to fish, I don't... 180 00:12:02,624 --> 00:12:04,024 Like lobsters and shit? 181 00:12:05,526 --> 00:12:08,295 I love to eat lobsters. 182 00:12:08,329 --> 00:12:10,064 There it is. 183 00:12:10,864 --> 00:12:12,266 You get the lobsters, 184 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:14,736 you get the lobsters from the boats. 185 00:12:14,769 --> 00:12:16,170 - Lobsters. - I eat a lot of lobsters. 186 00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,305 I can't have shellfish, man. 187 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:20,742 You're allergic to shellfish? 188 00:12:20,775 --> 00:12:22,843 No, I'm not allergic, but I have... 189 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:25,479 So I have Lyme disease, and like, 190 00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,081 there's all this shit you can't eat. 191 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:28,650 Like, I can't eat fucking anything. 192 00:12:28,683 --> 00:12:31,118 Like, I can't have anything that comes in a shell. 193 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,287 I can't have beef. 194 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:35,022 I can't have coffee. 195 00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:36,924 I can't have peppermint. 196 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,992 I can't have the cheese. 197 00:12:39,026 --> 00:12:40,829 Oh, I'd fucking give my life 198 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,731 for one of those Cheddar Bay Biscuits. 199 00:12:46,801 --> 00:12:49,303 You... You have really pretty eyes. 200 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:51,773 You're flirting with me, aren't you? 201 00:12:51,806 --> 00:12:54,942 Well, I have to say I'm out of practice, 202 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:58,145 so, uh, I'm... I'm glad it's going well so far. 203 00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:01,115 Oh... oh, no. 204 00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:07,121 But I will say, I... I want to know more about your wall 205 00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:09,523 because your apartment looks amazing. 206 00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:12,827 So, like, what other cool stuff do you got going on in there? 207 00:13:12,861 --> 00:13:15,262 So you, like, want to get to know me a little bit? 208 00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:19,701 You wanna... You like genuinely want to know who I am. 209 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,803 I'm enjoying talking to you. 210 00:13:22,771 --> 00:13:25,740 Um, yeah, I... I like you... I like you too. 211 00:13:26,073 --> 00:13:28,409 Like you're... you're pretty cool. 212 00:13:28,442 --> 00:13:30,043 But remember, this isn't a date. 213 00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:31,979 This is definitely not a date. 214 00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:35,582 It's just a... It's just a conversation of friends. 215 00:13:35,617 --> 00:13:36,751 Right? 216 00:13:36,785 --> 00:13:38,419 I'm a little... I'm... 217 00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:41,890 I'm up past my bedtime, I'm a little tired. 218 00:13:41,922 --> 00:13:44,525 So, maybe, um... 219 00:13:44,558 --> 00:13:47,729 Maybe I'll just, like, show you the bedroom real fast. 220 00:13:47,762 --> 00:13:49,229 - All right, okay. - But it's gonna be 221 00:13:49,263 --> 00:13:52,166 a platonic bed situation with no boobs. 222 00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:55,068 - No boobs! - And nothing... No funny business. 223 00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:57,337 Well, I'll let you in on a little secret. 224 00:13:58,305 --> 00:14:02,409 - I brought protection. - Ohh! 225 00:14:03,745 --> 00:14:05,747 I don't even want to know what that means. 226 00:14:05,780 --> 00:14:08,048 Did you get it? Because, I mean, we're... It's a video chat, right? 227 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:11,051 So, like, you can't get hepatitis like this. 228 00:14:11,084 --> 00:14:14,121 That's right. It's very safe, you know, it's... 229 00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:40,113 How'd you sleep last night? 230 00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,983 Mm, pretty good, actually. 231 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:45,052 All right, would it be weird 232 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,922 to ask you on a date tonight? 233 00:14:47,956 --> 00:14:49,924 I was gonna ask you on a date. 234 00:14:49,958 --> 00:14:53,728 Now we're doing the traditional gender role thing. 235 00:14:53,761 --> 00:14:56,898 Yes, yes, I say yes to a date with you. 236 00:14:56,931 --> 00:14:58,999 I'll even let you pay 237 00:14:59,032 --> 00:15:00,969 if you're worried about the patriarchy. 238 00:15:01,535 --> 00:15:03,337 - How about it? - Toots! 239 00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:05,472 I wanted you to call me Toots there. 240 00:15:05,506 --> 00:15:06,573 It's a balance. 241 00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:10,778 How about it, Toots? 242 00:15:10,812 --> 00:15:14,849 Yes, I will pick you up around six, 243 00:15:14,883 --> 00:15:15,917 nine, your time? 244 00:15:18,653 --> 00:15:20,822 Perfect, it's a date. 245 00:15:21,455 --> 00:15:22,924 I'll see you then, pretty lady. 246 00:15:22,957 --> 00:15:25,994 See you then, stud. 247 00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,132 Frustration in major cities this week 248 00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:35,102 as the homeless flood the streets with nowhere left to turn, 249 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,838 many recently evicted due to 250 00:15:36,871 --> 00:15:39,106 the financial burden of the pandemic. 251 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,208 Mayors are struggling to contain the virus 252 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:43,945 with so many displaced people and no federal assistance. 253 00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:49,583 Those dying of the deadly virus this year 254 00:15:49,617 --> 00:15:51,953 are dying alone, a new study shows. 255 00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,724 Doesn't that sound strange to you at all? 256 00:15:56,758 --> 00:15:58,626 He accidentally video called you? 257 00:15:58,660 --> 00:16:00,193 I don't know if that's strange. I mean, 258 00:16:00,227 --> 00:16:02,195 people are doing video calls all the time, right? 259 00:16:02,229 --> 00:16:04,799 - Like people... - Yes, with people that they know, 260 00:16:04,832 --> 00:16:06,066 established people in their lives. 261 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,802 Not with strangers with no last names 262 00:16:07,835 --> 00:16:09,403 and no proof of who they are or where they're from 263 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:11,071 - or what they're doing... - He's in New England. 264 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,574 - He lives in New England. - New England? 265 00:16:13,608 --> 00:16:14,909 - Yeah. - Oh... 266 00:16:14,943 --> 00:16:18,913 So no specific state, no specific city. 267 00:16:18,947 --> 00:16:20,080 What does he do? 268 00:16:20,915 --> 00:16:22,249 He... 269 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,818 What is his history like? 270 00:16:23,851 --> 00:16:25,552 - He... - Is he a felon? 271 00:16:26,054 --> 00:16:29,023 That's not fair. 272 00:16:29,057 --> 00:16:30,591 You have no... You have no idea. 273 00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:32,192 You know what I do know, Beth? 274 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:34,428 I know that I've received your blood tests, 275 00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,530 and right now, your inflammation levels 276 00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:40,267 are... are 20 times the level of the average person, 277 00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:43,236 which could cause many problems, including a potential stroke. 278 00:16:43,938 --> 00:16:46,440 And right now is the time where we need to focus 279 00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:47,675 more than ever on you 280 00:16:47,709 --> 00:16:49,242 and your health and your wellness 281 00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:52,046 so we can attempt to bring this inflammation down. 282 00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:54,916 You're not here with me. You're not going through this. 283 00:16:54,949 --> 00:16:57,685 You don't know what it feels like. 284 00:16:57,719 --> 00:16:59,219 You know, you... you have your life. 285 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:01,521 You get to have your life with your family 286 00:17:01,555 --> 00:17:04,124 and your house and your garden that you planted. 287 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:05,960 And like... 288 00:17:05,994 --> 00:17:08,796 When am I gonna have that? 289 00:17:08,830 --> 00:17:11,633 You're telling me I have to be, like, completely well 290 00:17:11,666 --> 00:17:13,801 before I even think about something like that? 291 00:17:14,434 --> 00:17:17,605 No, I'm not saying not at all. I'm saying right now, 292 00:17:17,639 --> 00:17:19,774 your focus just has to be on you, 293 00:17:19,807 --> 00:17:21,441 for you, about you. 294 00:17:22,644 --> 00:17:24,045 I don't want to live there. 295 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,015 I can't live there, so... 296 00:17:29,851 --> 00:17:31,919 Not facing... 297 00:17:31,953 --> 00:17:34,656 yourself head on, 298 00:17:34,689 --> 00:17:38,458 I believe at this time and this state of your diagnosis 299 00:17:38,492 --> 00:17:41,629 is the thing that is... 300 00:17:41,663 --> 00:17:43,397 holding us back. 301 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,298 Well, you know, you scare me when you say 302 00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:48,102 that I could just at any moment stroke out 303 00:17:48,136 --> 00:17:51,105 or fucking keel over from a heart attack. 304 00:17:51,139 --> 00:17:52,572 Do you know how much that scares me 305 00:17:52,607 --> 00:17:54,075 when you say shit like that? 306 00:17:55,143 --> 00:17:57,011 It does, it is scary. 307 00:17:57,045 --> 00:17:58,311 That's why I can't play... 308 00:17:58,345 --> 00:18:00,148 That's why we can't play these games. 309 00:18:00,180 --> 00:18:02,917 That's why we can't... we can't afford to spend time 310 00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,251 or energy or focus on anything else 311 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:05,653 because it is scary, Beth. 312 00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:15,395 The virus has mutated 313 00:18:15,429 --> 00:18:18,265 and is even more deadly than previously assumed. 314 00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:20,868 They advise continuing to shelter in place 315 00:18:20,902 --> 00:18:23,705 until conditions improve. 316 00:18:23,738 --> 00:18:26,440 The president today said that he is withholding federal aid 317 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,876 to the Democrat or blue led states of 318 00:18:28,910 --> 00:18:31,079 California, Oregon, and Washington 319 00:18:31,112 --> 00:18:33,346 during this violent fire season, 320 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:35,883 that so far has claimed the lives of dozens 321 00:18:35,917 --> 00:18:37,885 and the homes of hundreds. 322 00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,861 Beth, I had a thought. 323 00:18:46,894 --> 00:18:48,328 If talking to those chairs in therapy 324 00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,631 isn't working for you, try something else. 325 00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:54,635 A letter maybe, an email, maybe even a video. 326 00:18:55,069 --> 00:18:56,137 Do what works for you. 327 00:19:18,793 --> 00:19:20,895 Hey, Mom and Dad. 328 00:19:21,796 --> 00:19:22,997 Just saying hi. 329 00:19:24,866 --> 00:19:26,399 I'm supposed to talk to you. 330 00:19:26,868 --> 00:19:28,770 I'm trying to talk to you. I don't know... 331 00:19:29,604 --> 00:19:31,072 I don't really know what I'm doing. 332 00:19:32,039 --> 00:19:34,508 You would probably think this is crazy, huh? 333 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,177 I mean, I think it's crazy. 334 00:19:38,613 --> 00:19:39,680 I miss you. 335 00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,316 It really sucks that you both died. 336 00:19:44,051 --> 00:19:45,253 Right back to back. 337 00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:47,487 Couldn't stagger it for me? 338 00:19:49,223 --> 00:19:50,290 No, it's all right. 339 00:20:05,139 --> 00:20:06,306 Okay, good talk. 340 00:20:32,332 --> 00:20:34,235 H... 341 00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:37,138 My God, are you okay? 342 00:20:37,171 --> 00:20:39,240 - I'm fine. - Are you okay? 343 00:20:39,273 --> 00:20:40,808 - No, I'm fine. - Get a drink. 344 00:20:40,842 --> 00:20:43,010 Do you want to get something to drink? 345 00:20:43,044 --> 00:20:45,680 No, I just... No, I have a something in my throat, I'm fine. 346 00:20:45,713 --> 00:20:47,281 Oh, hi. 347 00:20:47,315 --> 00:20:50,251 - Hi. - Hi! Hi, how are you? 348 00:20:50,284 --> 00:20:52,452 No, I just have a Lyme cough sometimes. 349 00:20:52,485 --> 00:20:54,288 It's like a dry cough. 350 00:20:54,322 --> 00:20:56,757 It came at a really bad moment. 351 00:20:56,791 --> 00:20:58,759 Wow, uh, that's a... 352 00:20:58,793 --> 00:21:01,329 that's a hell of an entrance you made. 353 00:21:01,361 --> 00:21:03,463 Hi. 354 00:21:03,496 --> 00:21:05,599 God, you look beautiful. 355 00:21:05,633 --> 00:21:10,004 Well, you look very sexy. You look really hot. 356 00:21:10,037 --> 00:21:12,206 You look super... You're, um... 357 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:13,608 - In my sweater? - Yeah. 358 00:21:13,641 --> 00:21:16,210 - That where I was going. - Sexual. 359 00:21:16,244 --> 00:21:17,812 I was going for the, uh, sexy fisherman. 360 00:21:17,845 --> 00:21:19,814 Have you been looking at my Pornhub account? 361 00:21:19,847 --> 00:21:21,716 You know my type? 362 00:21:21,749 --> 00:21:24,151 - Ooh... - Is that it? Is that what comes up in your queue, 363 00:21:24,185 --> 00:21:26,519 - sexy fishermen? - Sexy fishermen. 364 00:21:26,553 --> 00:21:28,521 I'm a little nervous, I'm a little... 365 00:21:28,555 --> 00:21:30,057 I'm nervous too. 366 00:21:30,091 --> 00:21:33,460 I feel like I'm kind of sweating already and I...- 367 00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:35,696 Sorry, I shouldn't have even have said that. 368 00:21:35,730 --> 00:21:39,667 No that's okay, human sweat. I'm sweating. 369 00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:42,569 Yeah, well, I mean, I would imagine it's hot there. 370 00:21:42,603 --> 00:21:44,071 Yeah, it is, and I'm wearing Spanx. 371 00:21:44,105 --> 00:21:47,141 Well, I, um... I... I got you flowers. 372 00:21:47,174 --> 00:21:49,143 Oh, my gosh. 373 00:21:49,176 --> 00:21:50,745 - That is so... - Yeah. 374 00:21:50,778 --> 00:21:54,514 Wow. Geez. That is like really... 375 00:21:54,547 --> 00:21:56,150 I wish you could smell them. 376 00:21:56,183 --> 00:21:57,852 They, uh... They smell pretty good. 377 00:21:57,885 --> 00:21:59,253 I... I don't... I don't know what... 378 00:21:59,287 --> 00:22:01,222 I don't know what the other shit is. 379 00:22:01,255 --> 00:22:03,691 Well, I like that shit. 380 00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:06,861 I wanted to make this night perfect. 381 00:22:06,894 --> 00:22:09,562 And I... I thought, you know, uh... 382 00:22:09,596 --> 00:22:10,998 if I was seeing you face to face, 383 00:22:11,032 --> 00:22:14,101 I would... I would give you flowers, um... 384 00:22:14,635 --> 00:22:17,071 'cause you deserve them. Yeah. 385 00:22:18,239 --> 00:22:20,141 Here... Here you go. 386 00:22:20,641 --> 00:22:21,742 Thank you. 387 00:22:24,245 --> 00:22:26,513 What was your dream job when you were a kid? 388 00:22:27,415 --> 00:22:28,581 Probably this. 389 00:22:29,884 --> 00:22:31,419 Exactly this. 390 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:33,988 Looking at you. 391 00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:44,365 I wish I could kiss you right now. 392 00:22:46,434 --> 00:22:47,500 Yeah? 393 00:22:48,636 --> 00:22:50,470 I just wish I could... 394 00:22:50,905 --> 00:22:52,539 Oh... 395 00:22:53,607 --> 00:22:55,076 I wish I was right there with you 396 00:22:55,109 --> 00:22:57,044 and I was just able to give you a kiss. 397 00:23:02,582 --> 00:23:04,719 I don't know, here I am saying I want to kiss you, 398 00:23:04,752 --> 00:23:07,587 I don't even... I don't really know your... your last name. 399 00:23:07,621 --> 00:23:10,324 And I'm asking for a kiss. 400 00:23:11,025 --> 00:23:12,293 What is your last name? 401 00:23:13,627 --> 00:23:15,629 Do you have a middle name? 402 00:23:15,997 --> 00:23:17,298 Um... 403 00:23:18,866 --> 00:23:21,969 Wh... Why... Why do you want to know my last name? 404 00:23:24,605 --> 00:23:26,674 Oh, I... I don't. 405 00:23:26,707 --> 00:23:28,943 I mean, I was just... I was saying 406 00:23:28,976 --> 00:23:30,845 just because I asked... 407 00:23:30,878 --> 00:23:32,813 I asked to kiss you. I said... 408 00:23:32,847 --> 00:23:35,416 You know, I don't even... It's kind of weird. 409 00:23:35,449 --> 00:23:37,451 You know, you feel like if you... if you were on a date 410 00:23:37,485 --> 00:23:40,454 and you were leading up to that moment of kissing, 411 00:23:40,488 --> 00:23:42,490 that you would, I don't know, at that point, 412 00:23:42,522 --> 00:23:44,258 you probably would've known each other's names. 413 00:23:44,291 --> 00:23:45,459 - And I just... - Yeah. 414 00:23:45,493 --> 00:23:46,660 Just thought it was interesting 415 00:23:46,694 --> 00:23:48,429 that I don't know your last name. 416 00:23:48,896 --> 00:23:51,198 You're trying to like... 417 00:23:51,232 --> 00:23:53,701 Like, are you... You want to take my identity 418 00:23:53,734 --> 00:23:55,269 or, like, find out all my passwords or... 419 00:23:55,302 --> 00:23:56,837 - Because, um... - No. 420 00:23:56,871 --> 00:23:58,973 There's a lot of, you know, there's a lot of scams. 421 00:23:59,006 --> 00:24:00,941 There's a lot of scams out there 422 00:24:00,975 --> 00:24:03,144 and... and I have been very open and honest with you. 423 00:24:03,177 --> 00:24:05,112 - You know my entire life story. - A scam? 424 00:24:05,146 --> 00:24:07,114 No, I... You know my entire life story. 425 00:24:07,148 --> 00:24:08,315 What... What do you... 426 00:24:08,349 --> 00:24:09,650 I've taken you around my apartment, 427 00:24:09,683 --> 00:24:11,652 you know pretty much where I live. 428 00:24:11,685 --> 00:24:13,187 I took you in the shower with me. 429 00:24:13,220 --> 00:24:17,725 You've seen my body. You know things about me. 430 00:24:17,758 --> 00:24:21,195 And now I'm afraid that maybe we've just been doing this 431 00:24:21,228 --> 00:24:23,064 a little too much, a little too fast. 432 00:24:23,097 --> 00:24:24,965 Look, I'm not some... some kind of creep, 433 00:24:24,999 --> 00:24:28,702 I just... I just find it, um... It's not a scam. 434 00:24:28,736 --> 00:24:30,671 - I just didn't know your... - I want to believe that, 435 00:24:30,704 --> 00:24:32,006 I really want to believe that, 436 00:24:32,039 --> 00:24:34,475 but now I'm afraid because, you know, 437 00:24:34,508 --> 00:24:36,677 I... I came... You know, 438 00:24:36,710 --> 00:24:38,746 I even told you last night because I'm an idiot. 439 00:24:38,779 --> 00:24:40,815 I'm so fucking stupid. I told you, last night... 440 00:24:40,848 --> 00:24:43,017 What are you talking about? 441 00:24:43,050 --> 00:24:45,585 I got inheritance from my parents when they died. It wasn't much but you know, 442 00:24:45,619 --> 00:24:47,587 I just openly gave you that information 443 00:24:48,622 --> 00:24:51,725 - and, and you want my money. - I just wanted to know your... 444 00:24:51,759 --> 00:24:53,260 I just asked your name. 445 00:24:53,294 --> 00:24:55,563 I didn't... I didn't say I even wanted to know it, 446 00:24:55,595 --> 00:24:57,731 I just said I don't know your name. 447 00:24:57,765 --> 00:25:01,502 And I... I put... I put myself out there, I just... 448 00:25:01,936 --> 00:25:04,505 Where are you right now? 449 00:25:04,538 --> 00:25:06,607 You... Look, you've seen my entire apartment. 450 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,342 I've... I've shown you everything. 451 00:25:08,375 --> 00:25:11,612 You're just in front of this blue wall. 452 00:25:11,645 --> 00:25:13,447 Where are you? Are you, like, in the... 453 00:25:13,481 --> 00:25:15,015 a basement or are you in prison? 454 00:25:15,049 --> 00:25:16,717 Oh, do you... do you have a wife? 455 00:25:16,750 --> 00:25:18,919 Is that what this is? Are you hiding? 456 00:25:18,953 --> 00:25:21,055 Are you cheating from your wife? You got kids upstairs. 457 00:25:21,088 --> 00:25:23,023 Is this just some, like, little project for you? 458 00:25:23,057 --> 00:25:26,760 I'm just, like, some stupid girl across the country 459 00:25:26,794 --> 00:25:29,130 that you can chat with and feel good about yourself. 460 00:25:29,163 --> 00:25:32,266 Look, I can't... I can't do this. I can't do this and I'm sorry. 461 00:25:32,299 --> 00:25:34,768 I'm sorry, did not mean anything by it. 462 00:25:34,802 --> 00:25:37,404 - I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - Don't go, don't go. 463 00:25:37,438 --> 00:25:38,739 - I'm sorry. - Please don't go! 464 00:25:44,111 --> 00:25:46,380 Please don't go. 465 00:25:46,981 --> 00:25:47,982 Fuck. 466 00:25:53,587 --> 00:25:54,989 Why do you always do this? 467 00:25:55,624 --> 00:25:57,158 Why do you always do this? 468 00:25:59,460 --> 00:26:01,328 Fuck, fuck, fuck. 469 00:26:02,429 --> 00:26:04,198 Why do you always gotta be like her? 470 00:26:04,865 --> 00:26:06,400 Such a fucking idiot. 471 00:26:25,386 --> 00:26:29,056 Hi. Hi. I am so sorry. 472 00:26:29,723 --> 00:26:31,759 I am so, so, so, so, so sorry. 473 00:26:31,792 --> 00:26:33,794 I did not... I did not mean to do that 474 00:26:33,827 --> 00:26:35,129 the way that it came out 475 00:26:35,162 --> 00:26:37,632 and I... I know... I know you're a good guy 476 00:26:37,666 --> 00:26:40,635 and I'm just... I'm just a paranoid loser 477 00:26:40,669 --> 00:26:43,672 - that doesn't understand. - Stop, stop, stop, just stop. 478 00:26:43,704 --> 00:26:47,708 Just stop, please, please, please just stop. 479 00:26:54,081 --> 00:26:55,182 You're right. 480 00:26:57,686 --> 00:26:58,786 I haven't been honest. 481 00:27:02,489 --> 00:27:06,427 I'm sorry. I... I... I just... I just... I just... 482 00:27:06,727 --> 00:27:08,630 I need to say... 483 00:27:09,396 --> 00:27:11,465 I just need... I need to say... I need to say it. 484 00:27:11,498 --> 00:27:15,102 I need to... I need to... I need to tell you who I am. 485 00:27:16,870 --> 00:27:18,640 I just need to be honest. 486 00:27:19,708 --> 00:27:21,475 - Okay. - I just need you to listen. 487 00:27:21,508 --> 00:27:25,145 I just... I just need you to listen to me. 488 00:27:25,179 --> 00:27:26,981 Can you do that for me? 489 00:27:27,014 --> 00:27:29,149 Can you... Can you please just listen to me? 490 00:27:30,284 --> 00:27:32,753 - Please? - Yeah. Yeah, I'll listen. 491 00:27:39,927 --> 00:27:42,296 My name is Eddie. 492 00:27:44,898 --> 00:27:46,100 I live in Rhode Island. 493 00:27:48,068 --> 00:27:49,671 I live with my mother. 494 00:27:52,473 --> 00:27:55,342 I've battled alcoholism... 495 00:27:55,376 --> 00:27:56,645 many years. 496 00:27:59,380 --> 00:28:00,781 My wife... 497 00:28:02,416 --> 00:28:04,285 she left me two years ago... 498 00:28:05,252 --> 00:28:06,688 because of a car accident. 499 00:28:08,889 --> 00:28:10,357 And now I'm in a wheelchair. 500 00:28:16,765 --> 00:28:19,366 I'm embarrassed. 501 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,704 I'm 40 years old and I live here with my mother. 502 00:28:23,971 --> 00:28:26,874 Things... Things aren't as bad as one would think. 503 00:28:26,907 --> 00:28:29,810 You know, I mean, we actually have a pretty good relationship, 504 00:28:29,843 --> 00:28:31,478 but for two years, 505 00:28:31,512 --> 00:28:33,682 I really had no connection with anyone. 506 00:28:37,251 --> 00:28:39,721 I tried to make better choices, I tried. 507 00:28:45,993 --> 00:28:47,127 But I drank. 508 00:28:49,129 --> 00:28:50,197 I drank a lot. 509 00:28:51,633 --> 00:28:53,367 I made bad choices. 510 00:28:53,834 --> 00:28:55,336 I lost control, 511 00:28:55,369 --> 00:28:57,237 we hit a curb and that was it. 512 00:28:59,039 --> 00:29:00,709 I was... I woke... 513 00:29:06,781 --> 00:29:08,515 I woke up... 514 00:29:08,549 --> 00:29:10,752 I woke up in the hospital a few days later. 515 00:29:11,552 --> 00:29:13,053 I had no use of my legs. 516 00:29:18,459 --> 00:29:20,762 They said my wife survived... 517 00:29:23,864 --> 00:29:25,065 but I never saw her again. 518 00:29:27,501 --> 00:29:30,104 You have to understand, this... 519 00:29:32,005 --> 00:29:33,207 this connection, I... 520 00:29:37,077 --> 00:29:40,080 I haven't felt like this in a long time. 521 00:29:42,149 --> 00:29:43,550 But when I saw you... 522 00:29:44,853 --> 00:29:47,054 When I saw you... 523 00:29:47,087 --> 00:29:48,889 and you picked up that phone, 524 00:29:48,922 --> 00:29:51,191 it was something there that pulled me in. 525 00:29:52,493 --> 00:29:55,129 You were in need, I was in need. 526 00:29:55,162 --> 00:29:57,030 It felt right, it feels so right. 527 00:29:57,064 --> 00:29:59,734 It feels right. I don't want anything from you. 528 00:29:59,768 --> 00:30:01,836 I don't want anything. 529 00:30:01,870 --> 00:30:04,873 No... No money, no social security numbers, 530 00:30:04,905 --> 00:30:06,073 nothing like that. 531 00:30:06,106 --> 00:30:07,709 I want a friend. 532 00:30:07,742 --> 00:30:09,811 I want more than a friend, I want that connection. 533 00:30:10,879 --> 00:30:13,046 But I understand that I... 534 00:30:15,115 --> 00:30:16,984 That I haven't been honest. 535 00:30:17,017 --> 00:30:19,687 I'm a product of my own problems, 536 00:30:19,721 --> 00:30:20,822 my own vices. 537 00:30:22,757 --> 00:30:23,825 I'm two years sober. 538 00:30:25,058 --> 00:30:26,126 I'm clearheaded. 539 00:30:27,561 --> 00:30:29,831 - Okay. - But I'm disabled. 540 00:30:31,398 --> 00:30:34,334 I have nothing but this... this is room 541 00:30:34,368 --> 00:30:37,371 and this chair and a mother who... 542 00:30:37,404 --> 00:30:39,173 who loves me unconditionally. 543 00:30:43,076 --> 00:30:46,513 You... You have given me... 544 00:30:46,547 --> 00:30:47,615 hope. 545 00:30:50,083 --> 00:30:52,085 Beth, see... 546 00:30:53,922 --> 00:30:56,056 I'm sorry that I brought this on you. 547 00:30:56,089 --> 00:30:57,157 And... 548 00:30:59,993 --> 00:31:01,161 I'm sorry. 549 00:31:02,429 --> 00:31:03,665 I'm sorry. 550 00:31:06,433 --> 00:31:09,637 My... My n... My name... 551 00:31:09,671 --> 00:31:14,174 is, um, Beth May Connell. 552 00:31:46,206 --> 00:31:47,642 I want to touch you. 553 00:31:48,710 --> 00:31:50,712 I want to touch you so bad. 554 00:31:51,613 --> 00:31:53,480 I can't wait. 555 00:31:53,514 --> 00:31:55,783 I can't wait till the end of this pandemic. 556 00:31:55,817 --> 00:31:56,885 I can't wait. 557 00:31:58,051 --> 00:32:00,287 We shouldn't have to wait. 558 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:03,925 What if... what if there was a way I could be there with you? 559 00:32:04,525 --> 00:32:06,895 - How? - In your dreams. 560 00:32:11,031 --> 00:32:12,499 I would like that. 561 00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:14,501 You promise? 562 00:32:16,004 --> 00:32:18,773 I promise that I'll see you in your dreams. 563 00:32:25,980 --> 00:32:27,114 Goodnight. 564 00:32:28,515 --> 00:32:29,951 Goodnight, Eddie. 565 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:55,529 Okay, okay, okay, so you have to understand, 566 00:34:55,562 --> 00:34:57,865 like, he literally, like, in the dream, 567 00:34:57,899 --> 00:34:59,867 it was like his face. 568 00:34:59,901 --> 00:35:01,803 He went... went down, okay? 569 00:35:01,836 --> 00:35:03,604 He went way down, all right? 570 00:35:03,638 --> 00:35:06,206 - Oh, yeah. - And I don't usually like that. 571 00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,776 Like, I don't usually... I mean, it's been, like, years. 572 00:35:08,810 --> 00:35:10,210 Like I don't... I am not usually a fan of that, 573 00:35:10,243 --> 00:35:12,312 but oh... Oh, my God. 574 00:35:12,345 --> 00:35:14,314 I have never in my life, 575 00:35:14,347 --> 00:35:16,617 I have never had an orgasm with a guy. 576 00:35:16,651 --> 00:35:18,052 You know this. You know this. 577 00:35:18,086 --> 00:35:19,286 - I know, I know. - I've come close. 578 00:35:19,319 --> 00:35:21,254 I feel like I usually just fake it 579 00:35:21,288 --> 00:35:23,523 until, you know, so it can just be over. 580 00:35:23,557 --> 00:35:25,325 It was like... 581 00:35:25,358 --> 00:35:26,961 He had like a magic... 582 00:35:26,994 --> 00:35:29,163 He stayed down there for, like, 90 minutes. 583 00:35:29,197 --> 00:35:31,498 It was like a... 584 00:35:31,531 --> 00:35:33,634 a Geyser is what it was. 585 00:35:33,668 --> 00:35:35,870 Okay, does this person actually have a job 586 00:35:35,903 --> 00:35:38,072 or does he just, you know, I don't know. 587 00:35:39,874 --> 00:35:41,508 - Um... - He's a clam digger all the time. 588 00:35:41,541 --> 00:35:42,542 I don't understand. 589 00:35:42,576 --> 00:35:44,311 Clam digger he is. 590 00:35:44,344 --> 00:35:46,814 Thank you for that dated reference. Um... 591 00:35:46,848 --> 00:35:49,917 I'm gay, I don't do the vagina thing so... 592 00:35:49,951 --> 00:35:51,753 - It's okay. - It's a clam, right? 593 00:35:51,786 --> 00:35:55,156 It's a clam. Let me preface this by saying... 594 00:35:55,189 --> 00:35:57,324 - You have an answer. - Yes, I have an answer, 595 00:35:57,357 --> 00:35:59,227 - but it's not an answer... - You're stalling- 596 00:35:59,259 --> 00:36:00,695 That you are going to approve of. 597 00:36:00,728 --> 00:36:03,164 So I need you to know... I need you to be kind, 598 00:36:03,197 --> 00:36:05,867 because this is... this is a little bit sensitive, all right? 599 00:36:05,900 --> 00:36:08,335 And I care about this person. I like this person. 600 00:36:08,368 --> 00:36:10,872 - He's a good person. - Uh-huh. 601 00:36:10,905 --> 00:36:15,109 He lives in Rhode Island in his mother's basement. 602 00:36:15,143 --> 00:36:20,615 - Shut the fuck up. - Because he's a recovering alcoholic. 603 00:36:23,251 --> 00:36:25,519 And he got into a car crash because of the alcohol 604 00:36:25,552 --> 00:36:27,554 and almost killed himself and his wife. 605 00:36:27,587 --> 00:36:29,090 His wife survived, he survived, 606 00:36:29,123 --> 00:36:31,458 but he is paralyzed now. 607 00:36:33,094 --> 00:36:35,630 What part is paralyzed, just, his face? 608 00:36:35,663 --> 00:36:38,733 No, his, like, he can't walk. He's in a wheelchair, 609 00:36:38,766 --> 00:36:42,069 but it's like from the waist down so... 610 00:36:42,103 --> 00:36:43,171 yeah. 611 00:36:43,336 --> 00:36:44,939 Does his dick work? 612 00:36:44,972 --> 00:36:47,374 I mean, I think it works but he... but he can't feel it. 613 00:36:49,143 --> 00:36:51,112 - Oh, God, Beth... - So... 614 00:36:51,145 --> 00:36:52,613 - I know. - Don't do this. Don't do this. 615 00:36:52,647 --> 00:36:55,382 - I know, I know. - Don't do this. 616 00:36:55,415 --> 00:36:57,417 You need to end it now. You've only known him for five minutes. 617 00:36:57,450 --> 00:37:01,255 It needs to... No, come on, come on, come on, no, no. 618 00:37:01,289 --> 00:37:03,624 I like him, I like him. I know, I know on paper... 619 00:37:03,658 --> 00:37:05,259 Of course you do, of course you do. 620 00:37:05,293 --> 00:37:06,493 It doesn't sound good on paper. 621 00:37:06,526 --> 00:37:08,328 He's a special brand of fixer-upper, 622 00:37:08,361 --> 00:37:10,597 and, uh, that's very on brand for you. 623 00:37:10,631 --> 00:37:13,301 - Thank you. - So I'm gonna need you 624 00:37:13,333 --> 00:37:15,837 to just like completely cut ties with this guy. 625 00:37:17,305 --> 00:37:20,174 - No! - Oh, my God. 626 00:37:20,208 --> 00:37:25,279 You have a tendency to build things up in your mind 627 00:37:25,313 --> 00:37:28,950 and it ne-heh-ever works out that way. 628 00:37:28,983 --> 00:37:30,618 But maybe that's time it will. 629 00:37:30,651 --> 00:37:33,353 You need to find someone stable. That's what I'm saying. 630 00:37:33,386 --> 00:37:35,623 - I mean, I think he's stable... - I don't think that... 631 00:37:35,656 --> 00:37:37,424 - What's this guy's name? - Eddie. 632 00:37:37,457 --> 00:37:40,027 Eddie. Fisherman Eddie. 633 00:37:40,061 --> 00:37:42,029 I mean, I don't even really know if he was a fisherman. 634 00:37:42,063 --> 00:37:43,363 He just mentioned it. 635 00:37:43,396 --> 00:37:44,632 And he has that accent, you know? 636 00:37:44,665 --> 00:37:45,967 So it's like... He sounds like a fi... 637 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:47,768 It doesn't matter. 638 00:37:47,802 --> 00:37:51,438 Fishermen Eddie in his mom's basement in his wheelchair 639 00:37:51,471 --> 00:37:53,373 is really gonna give you the stability you need. 640 00:37:54,242 --> 00:37:57,345 What is so wrong 641 00:37:57,377 --> 00:38:01,849 with talking to a nice man who listens to me 642 00:38:01,883 --> 00:38:04,685 and likes talking to me back? 643 00:38:04,719 --> 00:38:06,320 He like... He likes my personality. 644 00:38:06,354 --> 00:38:09,522 He likes the way I look. He compliments me all the time. 645 00:38:09,556 --> 00:38:11,993 I don't know. What's so wrong with that? 646 00:38:12,026 --> 00:38:15,329 I don't want to see you do this again. 647 00:38:15,363 --> 00:38:17,464 I guess I don't see what's wrong 648 00:38:17,497 --> 00:38:20,067 in indulging in a little bit of fantasy 649 00:38:20,101 --> 00:38:22,336 when the world is fucking ending. 650 00:38:22,370 --> 00:38:24,205 It's a fantasy. 651 00:38:25,072 --> 00:38:27,208 - It's a... - I'm just saying that we're not kids anymore 652 00:38:27,241 --> 00:38:29,343 and you have to start thinking about your future. 653 00:38:29,377 --> 00:38:30,845 Anyway, it doesn't matter. 654 00:38:30,878 --> 00:38:32,512 And I don't care that he doesn't have any money, 655 00:38:32,545 --> 00:38:35,016 and I don't care that he lives with his mother. 656 00:38:35,049 --> 00:38:40,054 I don't care that he doesn't have full use of his body. 657 00:38:40,087 --> 00:38:41,454 - I don't care. - Well, I don't... I'm not saying 658 00:38:41,488 --> 00:38:42,924 that you shouldn't be with someone 659 00:38:42,957 --> 00:38:44,424 because they don't have full use of their body. 660 00:38:44,457 --> 00:38:46,526 It's just, with you it's just one more thing... 661 00:38:46,559 --> 00:38:48,763 - Is what I'm saying. - I know. 662 00:38:48,796 --> 00:38:50,331 I know. 663 00:38:50,364 --> 00:38:52,499 Yeah, it's like you usually date broken men, 664 00:38:52,532 --> 00:38:54,368 and this time you've really outdone yourself. 665 00:38:54,402 --> 00:38:57,071 I just want you to be happy that I had, like, 666 00:38:57,104 --> 00:39:02,176 a gushing female ejaculation experience 667 00:39:02,209 --> 00:39:04,312 for the first time in my life. 668 00:39:04,745 --> 00:39:06,847 - Wash your sheets. - Okay. 669 00:39:07,048 --> 00:39:09,350 - All right. - Aye, aye! 670 00:39:13,054 --> 00:39:15,823 So explain to me again what really, like, 671 00:39:15,856 --> 00:39:18,292 what these... these stretches do 672 00:39:18,326 --> 00:39:19,492 or like what, what's the... 673 00:39:22,595 --> 00:39:24,432 Oh, okay. 674 00:39:24,464 --> 00:39:25,900 I gotta ask you. 675 00:39:25,933 --> 00:39:28,535 I... I just, I... I can't... I can't control it. 676 00:39:28,568 --> 00:39:32,206 I... I can't hide it anymore. So I just gotta ask you, uh... 677 00:39:35,109 --> 00:39:36,677 Did you enjoy last night? 678 00:39:46,287 --> 00:39:48,956 - Uh... - Last night, in your dreams? 679 00:39:51,092 --> 00:39:52,960 Did you enjoy last night? 680 00:39:54,462 --> 00:39:55,528 Um... 681 00:39:56,630 --> 00:40:00,968 Because I got to tell you, I enjoyed it so much. 682 00:40:01,002 --> 00:40:04,472 Did you enjoy the way I used my mouth? 683 00:40:09,143 --> 00:40:12,512 And it was like fireworks. Come on, I know you... you... 684 00:40:12,545 --> 00:40:15,149 You were a screamer. 685 00:40:15,182 --> 00:40:18,619 You were a screamer and I gotta tell you, 686 00:40:18,652 --> 00:40:21,255 I mean... I gotta be honest. 687 00:40:21,288 --> 00:40:23,324 It got... It got... It got a little messy, 688 00:40:23,357 --> 00:40:24,692 but I'm okay with that. 689 00:40:24,725 --> 00:40:26,394 Oh, my God! 690 00:40:27,161 --> 00:40:28,662 Oh, my God. 691 00:40:29,063 --> 00:40:31,799 - Um... what? - I want to do it again. 692 00:40:31,832 --> 00:40:33,701 - Mm-hm. - And I just wanna... 693 00:40:33,734 --> 00:40:35,803 - Yeah. - I just want to make you feel good. 694 00:40:35,836 --> 00:40:37,938 Oh, my God. 695 00:40:37,972 --> 00:40:39,707 - Okay. - I promised you 696 00:40:39,740 --> 00:40:41,442 I was going to see you last night. 697 00:40:42,476 --> 00:40:43,944 And I kept my promise. 698 00:40:45,246 --> 00:40:48,548 It sounds pretty fucking crazy, but it... it was real. 699 00:40:50,384 --> 00:40:51,719 And I made it happen. 700 00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,456 You need to... You need to explain 701 00:40:55,489 --> 00:40:58,059 what is happening right now, 702 00:40:58,092 --> 00:41:02,496 because, um, if you were in my bed last night, 703 00:41:02,530 --> 00:41:04,165 that's a little hard for me to... 704 00:41:04,198 --> 00:41:06,867 I don't really understand the mechanics of that. 705 00:41:06,901 --> 00:41:10,071 Have you ever heard of astral projection? 706 00:41:13,107 --> 00:41:14,742 No. 707 00:41:14,775 --> 00:41:16,811 Astral projection is an intentional 708 00:41:16,844 --> 00:41:18,712 out of body experience. 709 00:41:19,246 --> 00:41:22,817 Sometimes, when we sleep, 710 00:41:22,850 --> 00:41:25,386 our consciousness leaves our body 711 00:41:25,419 --> 00:41:28,222 to go live in a rich dream world on its own, 712 00:41:28,255 --> 00:41:30,491 detaching from the body. 713 00:41:32,059 --> 00:41:34,261 Ancient civilizations have been documenting this 714 00:41:34,295 --> 00:41:35,963 for thousands of centuries. 715 00:41:37,231 --> 00:41:39,400 You know those dreams that you wake up from 716 00:41:39,433 --> 00:41:41,836 and you could swear that there was something 717 00:41:41,869 --> 00:41:43,471 hauntingly real about them? 718 00:41:44,238 --> 00:41:47,208 It not only found like a fully formed idea, 719 00:41:47,241 --> 00:41:49,677 but... but a fully formed world. 720 00:41:52,279 --> 00:41:55,249 That feeling of falling you get sometimes 721 00:41:55,282 --> 00:41:58,119 right before you drift off happens totally by accident. 722 00:41:59,286 --> 00:42:02,423 That is what astral projection is. 723 00:42:03,357 --> 00:42:06,093 Only instead of waiting for it to happen by chance 724 00:42:06,127 --> 00:42:08,195 in a random dream, 725 00:42:08,229 --> 00:42:10,331 we can control it. 726 00:42:11,565 --> 00:42:14,034 We can manifest the places we want to go to 727 00:42:14,068 --> 00:42:16,403 and leave our bodies down below. 728 00:42:16,437 --> 00:42:18,405 So our consciousness can travel 729 00:42:18,439 --> 00:42:20,741 through the spiritual planes. 730 00:42:20,774 --> 00:42:25,546 I know this sounds absolutely crazy, 731 00:42:25,746 --> 00:42:27,781 but you have to believe me. 732 00:42:29,450 --> 00:42:31,185 I think we can do it together, Beth. 733 00:42:32,253 --> 00:42:34,388 Last night, I concentrated really hard 734 00:42:34,421 --> 00:42:35,823 on what your room looks like. 735 00:42:35,856 --> 00:42:38,726 The dimensions, what you might feel like, 736 00:42:38,759 --> 00:42:39,994 your soft skin. 737 00:42:40,027 --> 00:42:42,563 I set an intention to make it to you... 738 00:42:44,331 --> 00:42:45,566 and somehow it worked. 739 00:42:46,834 --> 00:42:48,335 I was in your room. 740 00:42:51,005 --> 00:42:53,507 I've never done this with another person before. 741 00:42:54,808 --> 00:42:57,578 Beth, we can get you there too. 742 00:42:59,380 --> 00:43:01,248 In the astral, we're free. 743 00:43:02,149 --> 00:43:03,784 I can dance with you. 744 00:43:03,817 --> 00:43:05,819 I can feel things. 745 00:43:05,853 --> 00:43:08,589 You'd be free of disease, move without pain. 746 00:43:10,858 --> 00:43:12,126 I visited your dream 747 00:43:12,159 --> 00:43:14,528 because you gave me permission to, 748 00:43:14,562 --> 00:43:16,530 but if you try to astral project yourself 749 00:43:16,564 --> 00:43:19,033 and actually meet me there, 750 00:43:19,066 --> 00:43:21,168 you would be able to participate with me. 751 00:43:22,036 --> 00:43:23,804 You wouldn't be half asleep 752 00:43:23,837 --> 00:43:25,640 and just waiting for things to happen. 753 00:43:25,674 --> 00:43:27,875 You would be able to control them with me. 754 00:43:30,211 --> 00:43:31,613 I use the rope method. 755 00:43:32,713 --> 00:43:34,548 You lie flat on your back 756 00:43:34,582 --> 00:43:37,885 and you visualize a rope suspended from the ceiling. 757 00:43:37,918 --> 00:43:39,386 It comes down, 758 00:43:39,420 --> 00:43:41,355 and you pull yourself out of your body. 759 00:43:42,056 --> 00:43:44,792 Now, your mind has to be clear. 760 00:43:44,825 --> 00:43:46,860 Focus on where you want to go, 761 00:43:46,894 --> 00:43:48,697 what and who you want to see. 762 00:43:49,763 --> 00:43:50,965 You'll feel vibration. 763 00:43:52,233 --> 00:43:53,635 You take that rope when it's offered, 764 00:43:54,602 --> 00:43:55,704 and you climb out. 765 00:43:58,872 --> 00:44:02,076 I found astral projection in my darkest hour, 766 00:44:02,109 --> 00:44:04,845 I was ready to check out, honestly. 767 00:44:04,878 --> 00:44:05,946 I was close. 768 00:44:07,781 --> 00:44:08,882 When I discovered this... 769 00:44:10,884 --> 00:44:14,888 That was not a magic carpet ride. 770 00:44:16,390 --> 00:44:17,825 I realized that we were so much more 771 00:44:17,858 --> 00:44:19,426 than our physical composition. 772 00:44:19,460 --> 00:44:23,030 We could run, fly... 773 00:44:23,063 --> 00:44:24,131 make love. 774 00:44:25,933 --> 00:44:27,835 God... 775 00:44:27,868 --> 00:44:29,503 Beth. 776 00:44:33,107 --> 00:44:34,743 We are simply souls 777 00:44:34,775 --> 00:44:36,844 floating by the sea of night in the ether 778 00:44:36,877 --> 00:44:38,846 and we have the ability to become 779 00:44:38,879 --> 00:44:41,115 more compassionate and perceptive to 780 00:44:41,148 --> 00:44:43,784 the worlds and the people that surround us. 781 00:44:45,919 --> 00:44:48,322 Life is just a story that we tell ourselves, right? 782 00:44:50,291 --> 00:44:51,693 I want you to feel what I feel. 783 00:44:54,094 --> 00:44:55,929 To have agency over your body. 784 00:44:57,164 --> 00:44:59,199 It doesn't always work so well sometimes. 785 00:45:15,916 --> 00:45:17,051 Hey, Mom. 786 00:45:20,020 --> 00:45:21,288 Hey, Dad. 787 00:45:23,023 --> 00:45:24,391 I can't sleep. 788 00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:27,729 Nothing new there, huh? 789 00:45:38,606 --> 00:45:39,907 I met someone, a man. 790 00:45:42,209 --> 00:45:45,279 And I love him, and, uh... 791 00:45:45,312 --> 00:45:46,781 I guess that's why I'm trying to 792 00:45:46,815 --> 00:45:48,449 talk to you guys now, like I'm supposed to. 793 00:45:48,482 --> 00:45:49,784 I'm supposed to talk to you guys, 794 00:45:49,818 --> 00:45:50,951 I'm supposed to talk about these things, 795 00:45:50,984 --> 00:45:53,053 hash these things out. and, uh... 796 00:45:55,155 --> 00:45:56,357 Did you know? 797 00:45:59,828 --> 00:46:00,894 Did you know? 798 00:46:03,497 --> 00:46:05,165 'Cause I think you knew. 799 00:46:05,199 --> 00:46:07,669 I think that deep down somewhere in there, you knew. 800 00:46:07,702 --> 00:46:09,604 You knew... 801 00:46:09,637 --> 00:46:11,505 what was happening with the next door neighbor. 802 00:46:11,538 --> 00:46:12,607 I think you knew. 803 00:46:14,475 --> 00:46:16,778 And you sent me like a lamb to the slaughter. 804 00:46:21,315 --> 00:46:22,383 Did you know? 805 00:46:24,551 --> 00:46:25,787 Did you know? 806 00:46:33,695 --> 00:46:34,796 Did you know? 807 00:46:54,783 --> 00:46:56,049 So... 808 00:46:57,518 --> 00:46:59,888 I get to Rhode Island 809 00:46:59,920 --> 00:47:03,090 and I find you there... 810 00:47:03,123 --> 00:47:05,860 and you are... 811 00:47:05,894 --> 00:47:07,161 waiting for me. 812 00:47:08,028 --> 00:47:09,096 Yeah. 813 00:47:10,632 --> 00:47:12,667 And I get up close... 814 00:47:13,367 --> 00:47:15,602 and I let you kiss me... 815 00:47:16,805 --> 00:47:18,338 and I kiss you back. 816 00:47:18,372 --> 00:47:21,108 Yeah. 817 00:47:21,141 --> 00:47:22,943 And then... 818 00:47:22,976 --> 00:47:25,680 I'm gonna get up on top of you, okay? 819 00:47:26,079 --> 00:47:27,749 - Uh-huh. - And I'm gonna 820 00:47:27,782 --> 00:47:31,251 wrap my legs around you in your chair, 821 00:47:31,285 --> 00:47:33,454 and then I'm gonna move in, 822 00:47:33,487 --> 00:47:37,024 and then... 823 00:47:37,057 --> 00:47:38,358 I... 824 00:47:39,928 --> 00:47:41,863 But I have to... I... I just, um... 825 00:47:41,896 --> 00:47:43,865 I feel like I'm being dishonest with you. 826 00:47:45,499 --> 00:47:47,100 Um... 827 00:47:47,134 --> 00:47:50,304 I haven't really figured out how to tell you this. 828 00:47:50,337 --> 00:47:52,372 This is not the right time, clearly, 829 00:47:52,406 --> 00:47:54,776 but, um, I have to just say this. 830 00:47:55,175 --> 00:47:56,276 Um... 831 00:47:59,848 --> 00:48:02,750 I was raped by my... by my neighbor, 832 00:48:02,784 --> 00:48:04,619 by my next door neighbor, 833 00:48:04,652 --> 00:48:09,624 um, when I was 11 until I was about 15. 834 00:48:09,657 --> 00:48:13,628 And, um... But... But I thought that... 835 00:48:13,661 --> 00:48:15,830 I kind of thought we were in a relationship at the time. 836 00:48:15,864 --> 00:48:18,565 I thought he was my boyfriend, but he was an adult. 837 00:48:18,599 --> 00:48:20,267 And it's like... There was nobody there. 838 00:48:20,300 --> 00:48:23,303 No one gave a shit, I don't know. 839 00:48:23,337 --> 00:48:25,940 I... I didn't realize that I wasn't in control of it. 840 00:48:25,974 --> 00:48:29,476 And so then I just kind of stopped doing anything altogether. 841 00:48:29,510 --> 00:48:32,446 And now I just kinda don't know what the fuck I'm doing. 842 00:48:32,479 --> 00:48:34,983 And I don't know... I don't know how to feel good. 843 00:48:35,015 --> 00:48:37,017 And I don't know how to make you feel good. 844 00:48:37,050 --> 00:48:38,753 And I don't know how to... I don't know... 845 00:48:38,786 --> 00:48:41,956 I just don't know how to do this emotional sexual intimacy. 846 00:48:41,990 --> 00:48:43,758 I get... I get it, I get it. 847 00:48:44,024 --> 00:48:46,293 You... You don't have to go any further. 848 00:48:46,326 --> 00:48:47,729 I, uh... 849 00:48:51,131 --> 00:48:52,266 Beth, um... 850 00:48:53,635 --> 00:48:56,871 First off, I'm sor... I'm sorry that you had to 851 00:48:56,905 --> 00:48:58,105 experience that. 852 00:48:59,908 --> 00:49:01,009 Fuck! 853 00:49:02,543 --> 00:49:03,611 That's fucked. 854 00:49:05,479 --> 00:49:09,049 Uh, and thank you for your honesty. 855 00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:13,520 I know that that's... 856 00:49:15,055 --> 00:49:18,058 I can't imagine that that's easy to... 857 00:49:18,091 --> 00:49:20,028 to have lived with up until this point 858 00:49:20,060 --> 00:49:22,997 and to even sit here and... and tell... 859 00:49:23,031 --> 00:49:24,398 tell somebody. 860 00:49:24,431 --> 00:49:26,034 - So... - It's just not sexy. 861 00:49:26,066 --> 00:49:27,902 It's like we're trying to do all these sexy things 862 00:49:27,936 --> 00:49:30,905 and I'm just... I'm in my head, 863 00:49:30,939 --> 00:49:33,007 and I can't stop thinking about it and I... 864 00:49:33,041 --> 00:49:35,208 It makes sense, it makes sense. 865 00:49:35,242 --> 00:49:37,645 I mean, it makes sense that you would be in your head 866 00:49:37,679 --> 00:49:40,280 Fuck. I mean, something that traumatic. 867 00:49:41,548 --> 00:49:43,250 I get it, I get it. 868 00:49:43,283 --> 00:49:45,687 And I... I... I appreciate you, 869 00:49:45,720 --> 00:49:47,922 you know, trying to go there with me, 870 00:49:47,956 --> 00:49:49,389 but I don't... I don't want... 871 00:49:49,423 --> 00:49:52,225 I just... I want you to be comfortable with me 872 00:49:52,259 --> 00:49:54,261 and to be y... to be real. 873 00:49:54,294 --> 00:49:58,733 Be that... that person that is comfortable with with yourself 874 00:49:58,766 --> 00:50:00,034 and just... Fuck. 875 00:50:00,068 --> 00:50:02,235 If it's just... If this is what we have, 876 00:50:02,269 --> 00:50:05,907 if it's just talking with each other, that's... 877 00:50:06,941 --> 00:50:08,009 It's fine. 878 00:50:09,077 --> 00:50:11,111 I'll see you in the astral. 879 00:50:11,144 --> 00:50:13,180 I don't know, man, I mean, yeah, 880 00:50:13,213 --> 00:50:14,949 you can come visit me in the astral 881 00:50:14,983 --> 00:50:16,283 and that's wonderful for me. 882 00:50:16,316 --> 00:50:18,953 I mean, Jesus, that's done more for me 883 00:50:18,987 --> 00:50:22,356 than I think you'll ever really understand, 884 00:50:22,389 --> 00:50:24,092 um, but I can't participate with you. 885 00:50:24,124 --> 00:50:25,927 I'm not... I can't get there myself, 886 00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,629 and I don't think I ever will be able to. 887 00:50:27,662 --> 00:50:29,196 We keep trying, 888 00:50:29,229 --> 00:50:31,933 and I keep falling off my bed and freaking out, 889 00:50:31,966 --> 00:50:33,567 and I can't... I can't do it. 890 00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:36,104 I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to do it. 891 00:50:36,136 --> 00:50:37,939 Listen, it's all right, it's all right. 892 00:50:37,972 --> 00:50:39,306 We... We will get you there. 893 00:50:39,339 --> 00:50:41,375 You will get there, Beth, I promise. 894 00:50:43,978 --> 00:50:47,048 I just... I'm sad a lot and this is just really, um... 895 00:50:49,282 --> 00:50:51,551 It's bumming me out, I guess, a little bit. 896 00:50:52,152 --> 00:50:54,287 Well, if it's any consolation, 897 00:50:54,321 --> 00:50:56,556 I don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing. 898 00:50:59,093 --> 00:51:01,129 But you look like it. Look at you. 899 00:51:01,161 --> 00:51:03,163 You're like a sex god, you're just... 900 00:51:03,196 --> 00:51:04,799 I just want to eat you up. 901 00:54:56,931 --> 00:54:58,199 Stop it. 902 00:55:00,567 --> 00:55:03,070 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. 903 00:55:05,907 --> 00:55:07,775 Stop calling me. 904 00:55:09,777 --> 00:55:11,578 Beth? 905 00:55:11,612 --> 00:55:12,914 What? 906 00:55:12,947 --> 00:55:14,581 Beth, oh, God. 907 00:55:14,615 --> 00:55:17,351 Beth I've been trying you. I've been trying to call you, 908 00:55:17,385 --> 00:55:18,719 and I haven't heard from you. 909 00:55:18,753 --> 00:55:20,254 Are you there? Are you okay? 910 00:55:20,288 --> 00:55:22,323 We've missed several appointments. 911 00:55:22,356 --> 00:55:23,391 Oh, shit! 912 00:55:23,456 --> 00:55:25,259 Um... 913 00:55:25,293 --> 00:55:27,494 yes, I'm good. 914 00:55:27,527 --> 00:55:29,063 Um, I'm sorry, I meant to hang up. 915 00:55:29,096 --> 00:55:31,666 I didn't mean to pick up, um, I'm sleepy. 916 00:55:31,699 --> 00:55:32,967 What's going on? 917 00:55:36,604 --> 00:55:38,906 How long have you had that cough Beth? 918 00:55:44,111 --> 00:55:47,949 Will you just, like, calm down please? 919 00:55:47,982 --> 00:55:50,785 Your energy is just, like, it's like... 920 00:55:50,818 --> 00:55:52,787 - Ugh, it's so hot in here. - What are those? 921 00:55:52,820 --> 00:55:54,288 - Are th- - What? 922 00:55:54,322 --> 00:55:56,223 What are those lesions 923 00:55:56,257 --> 00:55:58,092 on your neck and chest? 924 00:56:00,094 --> 00:56:01,162 Beth. 925 00:56:02,430 --> 00:56:04,198 - What do you... - Are those Bartonella rashes 926 00:56:04,231 --> 00:56:05,700 that I'm seeing on the camera? 927 00:56:05,733 --> 00:56:08,202 Um... 928 00:56:08,235 --> 00:56:11,639 no, I don't think they're Bart... um... 929 00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:14,275 They look like lesions, Beth. 930 00:56:14,308 --> 00:56:15,575 Oh, my God. 931 00:56:15,609 --> 00:56:17,544 Oh, my God, no. 932 00:56:23,985 --> 00:56:25,052 It's not a rash. 933 00:56:25,086 --> 00:56:26,787 Oh my God, Dr. Kensington, 934 00:56:26,821 --> 00:56:28,289 this is not a rush. 935 00:56:28,322 --> 00:56:29,991 Do you see this? 936 00:56:30,024 --> 00:56:31,292 This is proof. 937 00:56:31,325 --> 00:56:33,394 They're hickey's. They're hickeys! 938 00:56:33,461 --> 00:56:35,963 - Oh, my God! - Is someone there with you? 939 00:56:35,997 --> 00:56:38,165 Yeah, well, sometimes, sometimes. 940 00:56:38,199 --> 00:56:39,767 You remember my... my boyfriend, 941 00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:41,335 my boyfriend, the guy, Eddie? 942 00:56:41,369 --> 00:56:43,604 So we started doing this astral projection 943 00:56:43,637 --> 00:56:45,505 and I wasn't able to do it for like the longest time. 944 00:56:45,538 --> 00:56:47,108 And I didn't think I was gonna be able to do it 945 00:56:47,141 --> 00:56:48,309 because I've been so traumatized 946 00:56:48,342 --> 00:56:49,610 and apparently, I can't meditate, 947 00:56:49,643 --> 00:56:51,578 but apparently... apparently I'm over it 948 00:56:51,612 --> 00:56:54,648 because we... we had sex last night. 949 00:56:54,682 --> 00:56:55,950 We had sex. 950 00:56:55,983 --> 00:56:58,853 We had sex in the astral. 951 00:56:58,886 --> 00:57:01,455 We astral planed, we projected. 952 00:57:01,489 --> 00:57:03,691 We projected to a plane above ours. 953 00:57:03,724 --> 00:57:05,926 It was amazing! I could move. 954 00:57:05,960 --> 00:57:07,495 I could move my entire body. 955 00:57:07,527 --> 00:57:09,463 I was moving back and forth, I was... 956 00:57:09,497 --> 00:57:10,631 My hips were doing things I didn't even think 957 00:57:10,664 --> 00:57:12,633 it was possible to do. 958 00:57:12,666 --> 00:57:13,868 I just... I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 959 00:57:13,901 --> 00:57:15,302 I know this sounds really crazy... 960 00:57:15,336 --> 00:57:18,672 - Beth... - But I love him so much! 961 00:57:18,706 --> 00:57:21,008 Please, I need you to listen to me very carefully. 962 00:57:22,710 --> 00:57:25,513 As your doctor, as a medical professional, 963 00:57:25,545 --> 00:57:27,048 and as you're my friend... 964 00:57:27,081 --> 00:57:29,183 You're my friend? 965 00:57:30,684 --> 00:57:31,952 I want you to listen to me. 966 00:57:33,421 --> 00:57:35,056 I think that it's time that we consider 967 00:57:35,089 --> 00:57:36,991 some other alternatives, 968 00:57:37,024 --> 00:57:40,061 including bringing in a psychiatrist. 969 00:57:41,695 --> 00:57:44,532 I need you to understand how dangerous a position 970 00:57:44,564 --> 00:57:46,200 that you're in right now. 971 00:57:46,233 --> 00:57:48,536 You should be happy. 972 00:57:48,568 --> 00:57:50,838 I'm getting laid, finally! 973 00:57:52,572 --> 00:57:54,208 I thought that you had died. 974 00:57:57,278 --> 00:57:58,913 It is... It is... It is shocking to me 975 00:57:58,946 --> 00:58:00,081 that you would throw away our progress. 976 00:58:00,114 --> 00:58:01,682 You know me, Beth. 977 00:58:01,715 --> 00:58:03,684 You know... Well, you know what we've been together 978 00:58:03,717 --> 00:58:06,387 and how we've worked together to fight this terrible disease. 979 00:58:06,420 --> 00:58:08,588 And right now this disease is overtaking your body 980 00:58:08,622 --> 00:58:10,357 and overtaking her mind, 981 00:58:10,391 --> 00:58:12,560 and I think we need to change our treatment plan, okay? 982 00:58:12,592 --> 00:58:14,695 - I'm listening. - You're not being yourself. 983 00:58:14,728 --> 00:58:17,331 - And I think the best thing for us... - No, I am being myself. 984 00:58:17,364 --> 00:58:19,233 - Is to make a pivot... - No, no... 985 00:58:19,266 --> 00:58:21,502 - And look at some other psychiatric options--This is who I am. 986 00:58:21,535 --> 00:58:23,737 Dr. Kensington, you don't understand. I'm not some good girl. 987 00:58:23,771 --> 00:58:27,541 I'm not some studious, open the book, do what I'm told. 988 00:58:27,575 --> 00:58:30,578 I'm finally alive and I am gonna follow that. 989 00:58:30,611 --> 00:58:33,047 I'm gonna follow that. I know it sounds crazy. 990 00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:34,715 I don't even care, I don't care, I don't care. 991 00:58:34,748 --> 00:58:36,517 I'm not going to some fucking mental institution. 992 00:58:36,550 --> 00:58:38,752 I'm not gonna go to... And you know what? 993 00:58:38,786 --> 00:58:40,287 I love you, I love you, you're so pretty, 994 00:58:40,321 --> 00:58:41,622 and you're so good at your job, 995 00:58:41,655 --> 00:58:43,190 and I just love everything about you. 996 00:58:43,224 --> 00:58:44,758 That's not what I need from you, I... 997 00:58:44,792 --> 00:58:47,294 But I think our time... I think our time is past. 998 00:58:47,328 --> 00:58:49,029 - I think that we're over... - No, no, no. 999 00:58:49,063 --> 00:58:50,431 I have to go. 1000 00:58:50,464 --> 00:58:51,866 I need you to listen to me. 1001 00:58:51,899 --> 00:58:53,267 - I have to go, bye. - I need you to trust me. 1002 00:58:53,300 --> 00:58:55,536 Goodbye, goodbye! 1003 00:59:11,152 --> 00:59:12,186 Yes! 1004 00:59:13,154 --> 00:59:14,522 Ha, ha! 1005 00:59:28,135 --> 00:59:29,270 There's a house on a street 1006 00:59:29,303 --> 00:59:32,173 - by the sea. - By the sea. 1007 00:59:32,206 --> 00:59:34,775 With faded blue shingles, weathered to gray. 1008 00:59:34,808 --> 00:59:36,810 It's lights burning bright, 1009 00:59:36,844 --> 00:59:39,346 - but never for me. - But never for me. 1010 00:59:40,014 --> 00:59:42,516 - Ready to be wowed? - You're gonna show me... Yeah. 1011 00:59:47,121 --> 00:59:49,658 - Watch! - Wow. 1012 00:59:56,397 --> 01:00:00,034 Whoever wins the fourth card gets all those cards. 1013 01:00:00,067 --> 01:00:01,535 Fuck! 1014 01:00:01,569 --> 01:00:02,770 Shit! 1015 01:00:04,805 --> 01:00:06,040 What was your father like? 1016 01:00:08,309 --> 01:00:10,377 He was a good man. 1017 01:00:10,411 --> 01:00:12,947 He was Canadian. 1018 01:00:12,980 --> 01:00:15,716 He always told me growing up, if things got real bad here, 1019 01:00:15,749 --> 01:00:17,885 I should claim my birthright up north. 1020 01:00:21,690 --> 01:00:23,625 If things get worse, I might have to. 1021 01:00:26,695 --> 01:00:28,362 You want to come with me to Canada 1022 01:00:28,395 --> 01:00:29,631 at the end of the world? 1023 01:00:31,532 --> 01:00:32,634 I'll be there. 1024 01:00:39,873 --> 01:00:41,375 Do you ever get scared? 1025 01:00:42,243 --> 01:00:44,646 You know, the virus? 1026 01:00:47,014 --> 01:00:49,917 Yeah. All the time. 1027 01:00:51,518 --> 01:00:52,621 It doesn't stop. 1028 01:00:53,587 --> 01:00:56,557 I want... deep dish. 1029 01:00:56,590 --> 01:00:59,193 You know? You ever had deep dish? 1030 01:00:59,226 --> 01:01:00,294 How deep? 1031 01:01:11,038 --> 01:01:12,106 I got you. 1032 01:01:14,208 --> 01:01:16,243 - Are you kidding me? - Oh! 1033 01:01:16,277 --> 01:01:18,279 Ooh! I gotta you! 1034 01:01:18,312 --> 01:01:19,780 That's what I mean when you can't... 1035 01:01:19,813 --> 01:01:22,049 You can't fuck with this. Fuckin' won it all. 1036 01:01:22,082 --> 01:01:24,451 Fuckin' queen of the cards. Boom! 1037 01:01:27,656 --> 01:01:28,922 What was your mother like? 1038 01:01:30,291 --> 01:01:33,695 Bury your brightness, my shiny sweet pea. 1039 01:01:35,329 --> 01:01:36,765 I can't talk about my mother. 1040 01:01:41,302 --> 01:01:43,871 Would you like to see my boob? How about that? 1041 01:01:48,677 --> 01:01:50,311 When you were a kid, 1042 01:01:50,344 --> 01:01:52,513 did you think it would be like this? 1043 01:02:01,088 --> 01:02:02,890 I thought it'd be worse. 1044 01:02:06,493 --> 01:02:08,862 We're so far away from each other, Beth. 1045 01:02:12,767 --> 01:02:13,768 Why don't we just stay up here 1046 01:02:13,802 --> 01:02:15,002 a little while longer? 1047 01:02:18,872 --> 01:02:19,973 I love you. 1048 01:02:40,662 --> 01:02:42,664 It's your long lost friend. 1049 01:02:42,697 --> 01:02:46,367 The same friend that missed going to the Tony Awards Live 1050 01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:48,569 because you broke your fucking ankle. 1051 01:02:48,602 --> 01:02:50,571 Remember that? Wasn't that fun? 1052 01:02:50,605 --> 01:02:53,140 Maybe you can call me back now. Okay. 1053 01:02:59,413 --> 01:03:01,081 Hey Beth, 1054 01:03:01,115 --> 01:03:03,384 I know that we're not seeing each other anymore, 1055 01:03:03,417 --> 01:03:07,756 but this is a friendly reminder to do your exercises today. 1056 01:03:07,789 --> 01:03:11,558 Take care of yourself, Beth. It works if you work it. 1057 01:03:11,592 --> 01:03:15,062 I saw this woman with really big sunglasses today 1058 01:03:15,095 --> 01:03:18,198 and it made me think of the time that you stabbed yourself in the eye. 1059 01:03:18,232 --> 01:03:20,367 That was such a good time. 1060 01:03:20,401 --> 01:03:22,369 Um... But call me back 1061 01:03:22,403 --> 01:03:24,071 and we can talk about it. 1062 01:03:24,104 --> 01:03:27,307 Hey, Eddie. Oh, my God, last night. 1063 01:03:28,610 --> 01:03:31,679 Anyway, I... I tried to video call you today 1064 01:03:31,713 --> 01:03:33,480 and you weren't online 1065 01:03:33,514 --> 01:03:35,282 and all of my texts are saying they're not delivered. 1066 01:03:35,315 --> 01:03:36,950 I guess I'm a little bit worried. 1067 01:03:36,984 --> 01:03:39,621 Give me a call back. I love you. Bye. 1068 01:05:02,971 --> 01:05:05,339 Eddie. Eddie. 1069 01:05:14,281 --> 01:05:15,717 Pick up. 1070 01:05:16,885 --> 01:05:19,520 Please pick up. 1071 01:05:31,465 --> 01:05:33,200 Okay, okay, okay. 1072 01:05:33,233 --> 01:05:38,205 Ow, ow, ow. 1073 01:05:38,238 --> 01:05:40,507 Okay. Okay. 1074 01:05:41,074 --> 01:05:42,175 Okay. 1075 01:06:12,272 --> 01:06:14,474 Hey, Eddie. 1076 01:06:14,508 --> 01:06:16,911 It's me, um, just checking in. 1077 01:06:18,780 --> 01:06:20,748 I, um... 1078 01:06:20,782 --> 01:06:23,083 I fell and I hurt myself pretty bad, 1079 01:06:23,116 --> 01:06:26,721 and, uh, I guess I'm a little freaked out. 1080 01:06:27,622 --> 01:06:29,958 I've never lost time like that 1081 01:06:29,991 --> 01:06:32,593 and, um... I don't know, 1082 01:06:32,627 --> 01:06:35,596 maybe it's time I start, uh, listening to my doctor. 1083 01:06:35,630 --> 01:06:39,801 Maybe it's time I actually start doing this work. 1084 01:06:40,835 --> 01:06:42,637 Um... 1085 01:06:42,670 --> 01:06:46,206 so I guess I just wanted to say hi, 1086 01:06:46,239 --> 01:06:49,010 and, uh... 1087 01:06:49,043 --> 01:06:51,879 just let you know that I'm, uh... 1088 01:06:51,913 --> 01:06:53,982 I'm... I'm doing better, 1089 01:06:54,015 --> 01:06:55,582 I'm feeling better, I'm feeling stronger 1090 01:06:55,617 --> 01:06:57,652 and, um... 1091 01:06:57,685 --> 01:07:00,989 I really miss you, and, uh... 1092 01:07:01,789 --> 01:07:04,025 if this is... if this is it, 1093 01:07:04,058 --> 01:07:06,393 I... I don't know what happened. 1094 01:07:06,426 --> 01:07:08,161 I don't know... 1095 01:07:08,195 --> 01:07:10,497 I don't know what's going on with you, 1096 01:07:10,530 --> 01:07:12,834 but, uh, if this is it, 1097 01:07:12,867 --> 01:07:16,169 I just want you to know that I love you a lot, 1098 01:07:16,203 --> 01:07:18,438 and I'm really grateful to have met you. 1099 01:07:24,879 --> 01:07:27,147 Turn that heat up to make a personal sauna, 1100 01:07:27,180 --> 01:07:29,282 to sweat your toxins out. 1101 01:07:29,316 --> 01:07:31,853 It's easy and you can do it at home. 1102 01:07:31,886 --> 01:07:35,023 Did you know that your skin is your biggest organ? 1103 01:07:35,056 --> 01:07:38,358 If you're feeling sluggish or if you just want to boost your immune system 1104 01:07:38,392 --> 01:07:40,695 in these frightening times we're living in, 1105 01:07:40,728 --> 01:07:43,330 you need to sweat out all the things that bog you down. 1106 01:07:43,363 --> 01:07:46,466 It's time to detox, girl. You'll be so glad you did. 1107 01:08:14,528 --> 01:08:18,132 Hi. Hi, where... where were you? 1108 01:08:18,166 --> 01:08:20,267 I was so worried. You're... 1109 01:08:21,636 --> 01:08:25,205 Oh, God. What's wrong? What happened? 1110 01:08:27,374 --> 01:08:28,910 My mother's dead. 1111 01:08:33,480 --> 01:08:35,049 She died. 1112 01:08:36,416 --> 01:08:37,517 I've been drinking. 1113 01:08:39,586 --> 01:08:40,688 Oh. 1114 01:08:45,425 --> 01:08:47,294 They came over in these... 1115 01:08:47,327 --> 01:08:48,730 these hazmat suits. 1116 01:08:50,665 --> 01:08:53,233 Fucking hazmat suits. They came over, 1117 01:08:53,266 --> 01:08:56,003 and they told me I had to go into another room. 1118 01:08:56,037 --> 01:08:58,139 They... They plastic off, you know, 1119 01:08:58,172 --> 01:09:01,142 all plastic all over all the doors and the kitchen. 1120 01:09:01,175 --> 01:09:02,744 And then I wasn't able to... 1121 01:09:02,777 --> 01:09:05,079 I couldn't even see them take her out. 1122 01:09:05,113 --> 01:09:06,914 They put her in a bag and they took her 1123 01:09:06,948 --> 01:09:08,816 and they told me, unfortunately, 1124 01:09:08,850 --> 01:09:12,053 they have to burn the body because of this virus 1125 01:09:12,086 --> 01:09:13,921 and that they can't risk it. 1126 01:09:13,955 --> 01:09:15,522 They can't put... 1127 01:09:15,555 --> 01:09:17,658 They can't put her in a place where this... 1128 01:09:18,592 --> 01:09:20,560 That they were gonna cremate her. 1129 01:09:21,461 --> 01:09:24,165 That's it. It's just fuckin' burn her up. 1130 01:09:25,733 --> 01:09:27,835 I can't... I can't even have a fucking funeral. 1131 01:09:27,869 --> 01:09:30,537 They're gonna burn her up. That's what they told on me. 1132 01:09:30,570 --> 01:09:32,506 It's not like we got family or anything. 1133 01:09:32,539 --> 01:09:34,307 I mean, it was just... 1134 01:09:36,276 --> 01:09:38,179 It was just her and I. 1135 01:09:38,246 --> 01:09:40,447 I know it's really fucked up right now, 1136 01:09:40,480 --> 01:09:42,349 and I don't know, really know what to say 1137 01:09:42,382 --> 01:09:44,719 that isn't gonna... 1138 01:09:44,752 --> 01:09:46,553 sound like some kind of... 1139 01:09:46,586 --> 01:09:49,157 manufactured Hallmark greeting. 1140 01:09:51,993 --> 01:09:53,426 I just need... 1141 01:09:54,095 --> 01:09:56,363 I need for you to feel it 1142 01:09:56,396 --> 01:09:58,598 because I know that that's what the drinking was. 1143 01:09:58,633 --> 01:10:01,601 You were... You were trying not to feel. 1144 01:10:01,636 --> 01:10:04,105 That's... 1145 01:10:04,138 --> 01:10:06,040 something I think that's pretty natural to feel, 1146 01:10:06,073 --> 01:10:07,440 you don't want to feel this. 1147 01:10:07,474 --> 01:10:09,710 It's the most horrible feeling in the world. 1148 01:10:12,579 --> 01:10:14,882 But I want to thank you for reaching out to me. 1149 01:10:15,917 --> 01:10:18,786 Um, and I don't want you to feel ashamed, 1150 01:10:18,820 --> 01:10:21,122 but I do need for you to feel it. 1151 01:10:21,155 --> 01:10:23,291 And you can feel it. You can feel it here with me. 1152 01:10:23,323 --> 01:10:24,992 I'm gonna feel it right along with you. 1153 01:10:25,993 --> 01:10:29,596 And you do have something to live for. All right? 1154 01:10:29,630 --> 01:10:31,299 And... 1155 01:10:31,331 --> 01:10:34,202 you can't disappear like that again on me, all right? 1156 01:10:36,369 --> 01:10:38,438 - I promise. - You can't do that. 1157 01:10:38,471 --> 01:10:40,975 I was so ashamed, I... 1158 01:10:41,008 --> 01:10:42,643 But you don't have to be ashamed. 1159 01:10:47,014 --> 01:10:48,348 Can you come here? 1160 01:10:52,053 --> 01:10:54,322 Can... Can you... 1161 01:10:54,354 --> 01:10:56,157 Can you come here to Rhode Island? 1162 01:10:56,190 --> 01:10:59,492 Can you... Can you be here with me? 1163 01:10:59,526 --> 01:11:02,263 I... I need you. 1164 01:11:03,463 --> 01:11:06,133 Can you get here physically, can you come to me? 1165 01:11:06,167 --> 01:11:08,302 Yeah. Yeah. 1166 01:11:08,336 --> 01:11:11,105 I mean, I... I can't, um... 1167 01:11:11,706 --> 01:11:13,506 I can't fly, uh, 1168 01:11:13,540 --> 01:11:15,375 that'd be too dangerous for me, um... 1169 01:11:15,408 --> 01:11:17,311 Yeah, no, no, no you can't. 1170 01:11:17,345 --> 01:11:19,546 But... But... But I can drive, I can drive. 1171 01:11:19,579 --> 01:11:21,782 I mean, I could... I could leave tonight. 1172 01:11:21,816 --> 01:11:24,384 I will literally pack a bag right now and I will come. 1173 01:11:24,417 --> 01:11:25,987 - You can drive here? - Yes, I can dr... 1174 01:11:26,020 --> 01:11:28,488 - You can come? - Yes, yes, I've done it before. 1175 01:11:28,521 --> 01:11:29,991 I used to live on the East Coast. 1176 01:11:30,024 --> 01:11:31,558 I've done this drive. I know what it's... 1177 01:11:31,591 --> 01:11:33,895 I know what it takes and I know the fastest routes. 1178 01:11:33,928 --> 01:11:36,797 I could literally leave in the next hour. 1179 01:11:36,831 --> 01:11:38,565 I have the map, I have GPS. 1180 01:11:38,598 --> 01:11:40,801 I have a full tank of gas and I have money. 1181 01:11:40,835 --> 01:11:44,138 I can get there to you. Okay? 1182 01:11:44,171 --> 01:11:47,241 Let's do this. It's been long enough and this is an emergency. 1183 01:11:47,275 --> 01:11:51,045 Wait, wait, Beth, Beth, Beth. The borders are shut. 1184 01:11:51,679 --> 01:11:52,980 No, they're not. 1185 01:11:53,948 --> 01:11:55,216 What do you mean? 1186 01:11:56,549 --> 01:11:58,485 The borders, the borders, 1187 01:11:58,518 --> 01:12:01,055 the borders to here are shut. 1188 01:12:01,088 --> 01:12:04,325 - How do you... - They're patrolling the borders, I... I... 1189 01:12:06,794 --> 01:12:08,162 They can't do that. 1190 01:12:09,429 --> 01:12:12,333 That can't be true. That's not American. 1191 01:12:14,201 --> 01:12:17,238 What? Are you serious? 1192 01:12:21,574 --> 01:12:23,678 I can't... I can't get... I can't get out of here. 1193 01:12:23,711 --> 01:12:25,413 I couldn't even... I couldn't come see you, 1194 01:12:25,445 --> 01:12:27,514 even if I could get out of here. 1195 01:12:27,547 --> 01:12:29,684 I couldn't... I couldn't see you because the bor... 1196 01:12:29,717 --> 01:12:31,719 - I'll drive past it. - I couldn't get to California. 1197 01:12:31,752 --> 01:12:33,387 I'll get a ticket. They can arrest me. 1198 01:12:33,421 --> 01:12:35,522 I'm gonna wear a fucking mask. I'm gonna wear gloves. 1199 01:12:35,555 --> 01:12:38,759 I'm gonna wear a face shield and I will bust past it. 1200 01:12:39,961 --> 01:12:41,494 They can't stop me. 1201 01:12:42,296 --> 01:12:43,798 What are they gonna do? Are they gonna arrest me? 1202 01:12:47,101 --> 01:12:49,203 - Eddie? - I don't know, I don't... I don't know. 1203 01:12:49,236 --> 01:12:51,305 I mean, if it's the National Guard, 1204 01:12:51,339 --> 01:12:53,540 if it's... I mean, what are they... 1205 01:12:53,573 --> 01:12:55,542 I don't know. They're keeping people out. 1206 01:12:55,575 --> 01:12:57,144 Could they fire on you? I don't know. 1207 01:12:57,178 --> 01:12:59,213 I can't risk... I can't risk that. 1208 01:13:00,147 --> 01:13:04,385 I can't... Fuck! I can't risk that. 1209 01:13:04,685 --> 01:13:07,321 I can't risk you coming here and having... 1210 01:13:08,789 --> 01:13:10,590 It wouldn't be safe for you to travel alone, 1211 01:13:10,624 --> 01:13:12,626 Having to go through borders to get here, 1212 01:13:12,660 --> 01:13:14,228 if every border is shut down. 1213 01:13:17,798 --> 01:13:20,067 You can't come down here. 1214 01:13:20,101 --> 01:13:22,269 So what are we gonna do then, though? 1215 01:13:22,303 --> 01:13:23,704 'Cause... 1216 01:13:24,672 --> 01:13:26,240 Then what? I... 1217 01:13:27,507 --> 01:13:29,176 What are... 1218 01:13:29,977 --> 01:13:32,747 Just wait it out? Just keep waiting it out? 1219 01:13:33,714 --> 01:13:34,849 I can't... 1220 01:13:36,050 --> 01:13:37,685 Okay, that's what we'll do. 1221 01:13:37,718 --> 01:13:39,920 If that's what we have to do, that's what we have to do. 1222 01:13:39,954 --> 01:13:41,588 We'll wait it out, then, we'll wait it out. 1223 01:13:41,622 --> 01:13:44,524 It won't... They can't keep the borders shut that long. 1224 01:13:44,557 --> 01:13:47,728 They... They can't, they can't. They can't do that. 1225 01:13:48,496 --> 01:13:49,764 This won't last. 1226 01:13:49,797 --> 01:13:51,298 I just want to get out of here. 1227 01:13:51,332 --> 01:13:53,600 I want to get out of here. 1228 01:13:53,634 --> 01:13:55,503 I don't want to be here anymore. 1229 01:13:55,535 --> 01:13:56,603 Okay. 1230 01:13:57,537 --> 01:13:59,306 I just want to get out, I want to go. 1231 01:13:59,340 --> 01:14:01,541 I want to get away. I gotta get out. 1232 01:14:02,376 --> 01:14:03,844 I mean, we need a fresh start, right? 1233 01:14:03,878 --> 01:14:05,212 We need, we need to... 1234 01:14:06,647 --> 01:14:08,983 A fresh start, yeah, where the air is clean, 1235 01:14:09,016 --> 01:14:10,718 somewhere away from... 1236 01:14:10,751 --> 01:14:13,454 away from cities and all this... 1237 01:14:14,321 --> 01:14:17,691 Somewhere remote, somewhere where we could... 1238 01:14:17,725 --> 01:14:21,028 where we could just be you and me and we... 1239 01:14:21,062 --> 01:14:23,631 - I gotta get out. - Okay. 1240 01:14:23,664 --> 01:14:25,232 I gotta get out of here. 1241 01:14:25,266 --> 01:14:26,700 We'll... We'll do it, we will. 1242 01:14:26,734 --> 01:14:29,003 We just have to wait a little while longer. 1243 01:14:29,036 --> 01:14:31,539 But it won't be that long, I promise. 1244 01:14:31,571 --> 01:14:33,741 I will be there, I promise. 1245 01:14:34,375 --> 01:14:35,543 I just don't know when. 1246 01:14:36,177 --> 01:14:38,312 I just need you here, Beth. I need you with me. 1247 01:14:38,345 --> 01:14:40,214 I just want to be with you. I just... I just... 1248 01:14:40,247 --> 01:14:41,882 I want to get away from this. 1249 01:14:41,916 --> 01:14:45,386 And I want to be with you. I just want to get out of here. 1250 01:14:45,419 --> 01:14:48,456 Just please, just hold on a little while longer, all right? 1251 01:14:48,588 --> 01:14:49,924 We're gonna do this. 1252 01:14:49,957 --> 01:14:51,559 I don't know how, but we're gonna do this. 1253 01:14:54,228 --> 01:14:57,565 Okay, so, um... 1254 01:14:57,597 --> 01:14:59,233 what do you... what do you think about, uh... 1255 01:15:03,971 --> 01:15:05,973 Everybody deserves a funeral. 1256 01:15:31,899 --> 01:15:34,034 Grow safe in the dark. 1257 01:15:34,068 --> 01:15:35,536 Let feelings fly free. 1258 01:15:36,770 --> 01:15:38,873 Where lights once burned bright, 1259 01:15:38,906 --> 01:15:39,974 but never for me. 1260 01:15:41,075 --> 01:15:42,409 At the house... 1261 01:15:42,443 --> 01:15:44,211 on the street by the sea. 1262 01:15:45,446 --> 01:15:48,883 What about some of the stretches? 1263 01:15:48,916 --> 01:15:53,888 Have you... Have you been able to sorta move a little? 1264 01:15:55,156 --> 01:15:58,259 Just little stretches, like little... 1265 01:15:58,292 --> 01:16:00,629 just stretch your deltoids and your... 1266 01:16:02,530 --> 01:16:04,064 I know it's not... 1267 01:16:05,933 --> 01:16:07,636 It's the blood flow. 1268 01:16:07,668 --> 01:16:11,606 Yeah, honestly, just... just moving a little bit every day 1269 01:16:11,640 --> 01:16:13,642 makes such a difference for your head. 1270 01:16:13,674 --> 01:16:16,477 I mean, honestly, I... I used to not be one of those people, 1271 01:16:16,510 --> 01:16:18,647 but I... but I kind of get it a little bit better now. 1272 01:16:18,679 --> 01:16:21,782 Just sort of, you know, just stretching and just... 1273 01:16:21,815 --> 01:16:23,584 I don't know, I just want you to 1274 01:16:23,618 --> 01:16:25,085 keep your circulation up. 1275 01:16:25,119 --> 01:16:27,955 We just gotta keep moving, we just have to keep... 1276 01:16:27,988 --> 01:16:30,659 I know, I know it hurts. 1277 01:16:30,691 --> 01:16:33,194 I'm sure everything hurts. I wish I was there. 1278 01:16:35,664 --> 01:16:37,431 Will you meet me in the astral? 1279 01:16:39,500 --> 01:16:40,935 Um... 1280 01:16:40,968 --> 01:16:45,640 I need... I need an escape from this right now. 1281 01:16:45,674 --> 01:16:47,775 I... I need... I need... 1282 01:16:47,808 --> 01:16:50,411 - And it's been a while. - Yeah. 1283 01:16:50,711 --> 01:16:53,615 I could really use some time. 1284 01:16:54,748 --> 01:16:58,352 Time to not... not really be in my head down here. 1285 01:16:59,486 --> 01:17:01,155 Of course I will, um... 1286 01:17:01,188 --> 01:17:03,190 - I'll do that. - You will? 1287 01:17:03,224 --> 01:17:04,858 Yeah, no, I want to, I... I really... I want to. 1288 01:17:04,892 --> 01:17:06,160 It's been a long time 1289 01:17:06,193 --> 01:17:08,729 and I just want to see you smile again. 1290 01:17:08,762 --> 01:17:09,863 So I just... 1291 01:17:11,265 --> 01:17:13,702 Yeah, I'll meet you there. 1292 01:17:13,734 --> 01:17:15,670 So where do you want to go? 1293 01:18:16,830 --> 01:18:18,198 Beth? 1294 01:18:19,933 --> 01:18:21,468 Where are you? 1295 01:18:23,937 --> 01:18:25,806 Beth? 1296 01:18:25,839 --> 01:18:26,974 Can you here me? 1297 01:18:27,908 --> 01:18:29,443 I'm here. 1298 01:18:30,779 --> 01:18:31,979 Can't you see me? 1299 01:18:34,481 --> 01:18:37,652 You have to wake up now. It's no good here. 1300 01:18:38,352 --> 01:18:41,922 Please. Beth, open your eyes now. 1301 01:18:41,955 --> 01:18:44,626 Please, Beth, open your eyes. 1302 01:18:45,092 --> 01:18:47,194 Beth? Beth, where are you? Beth? 1303 01:18:47,227 --> 01:18:49,563 Come on, snap out of it, Beth? 1304 01:18:49,596 --> 01:18:51,932 Beth, come back to me, I'm right here. 1305 01:18:51,965 --> 01:18:53,867 Follow my voice too get out. 1306 01:18:57,938 --> 01:18:59,006 I'm right here. 1307 01:19:01,375 --> 01:19:03,477 What was that? What was that? 1308 01:19:03,510 --> 01:19:05,379 What? What? 1309 01:19:05,446 --> 01:19:07,114 Talk to me, talk to me. What... What... 1310 01:19:07,147 --> 01:19:08,415 What were you talking about? 1311 01:19:09,684 --> 01:19:11,786 What was that? 1312 01:19:11,820 --> 01:19:13,755 - Are you okay? - No. 1313 01:19:13,788 --> 01:19:16,990 I was in... I saw... I saw... 1314 01:19:17,024 --> 01:19:19,026 - What is it? - I was seeing things, 1315 01:19:19,059 --> 01:19:22,096 I was seeing some really bad things. 1316 01:19:22,129 --> 01:19:24,498 There were... there were people... there were people, 1317 01:19:24,531 --> 01:19:26,266 they were shouting, there were shadows. 1318 01:19:26,300 --> 01:19:29,336 And it was... it was... it was... it was... it was just darkness. 1319 01:19:29,370 --> 01:19:31,338 And there was blood and I couldn't breathe. 1320 01:19:31,372 --> 01:19:34,709 And there was blood in my throat and I was throwing it up. 1321 01:19:34,743 --> 01:19:36,944 I don't know where you were. I could hear you, 1322 01:19:36,977 --> 01:19:38,680 but you weren't there. 1323 01:19:38,713 --> 01:19:41,348 I couldn't find you. I couldn't find where you were. 1324 01:19:41,382 --> 01:19:44,017 I mean... Oh, God, Beth, you're safe, you're safe, 1325 01:19:44,051 --> 01:19:45,953 you're here, you're here. 1326 01:19:45,986 --> 01:19:47,856 I was injured and I was... there was... 1327 01:19:47,888 --> 01:19:50,157 there was so much blood but then I got back 1328 01:19:50,190 --> 01:19:51,860 - and it was okay, and... - I saw them. 1329 01:19:51,892 --> 01:19:53,527 I said I saw them too. 1330 01:19:54,528 --> 01:19:56,196 What's happening? 1331 01:19:56,230 --> 01:19:57,398 I was afraid of this. 1332 01:19:58,532 --> 01:20:00,467 I thought we had pushed past it. 1333 01:20:00,501 --> 01:20:01,803 I was... 1334 01:20:02,436 --> 01:20:04,204 Pushed past what, Eddie? 1335 01:20:04,238 --> 01:20:05,874 There... There... There are risks. 1336 01:20:05,906 --> 01:20:09,711 I thought that this was just some fun meditation stuff. 1337 01:20:09,744 --> 01:20:12,881 I'm really confused and I'm really scared. 1338 01:20:12,913 --> 01:20:14,816 I didn't... I thought we were okay. 1339 01:20:16,083 --> 01:20:17,951 I thought we were okay. 1340 01:20:21,588 --> 01:20:23,090 Our mind... 1341 01:20:23,123 --> 01:20:24,759 Our mind wants our body back. 1342 01:20:28,028 --> 01:20:32,634 I don't want to live in this fantasy anymore. 1343 01:20:32,867 --> 01:20:33,934 Okay? 1344 01:21:00,494 --> 01:21:02,797 I feel like it's the end of the world. 1345 01:21:35,529 --> 01:21:36,997 Hey, Mom. 1346 01:21:38,131 --> 01:21:40,702 I remember. Now. 1347 01:21:46,273 --> 01:21:48,643 I remember you choking me. 1348 01:21:50,511 --> 01:21:52,346 I remember not being able to breathe, 1349 01:21:52,379 --> 01:21:53,915 feeling like my body was on fire. 1350 01:21:55,617 --> 01:21:59,152 I remember you telling me how much you hated grandma 1351 01:21:59,186 --> 01:22:01,588 'cause she would dump all of your breast milk. 1352 01:22:02,857 --> 01:22:05,158 I even went to live with her for a while. 1353 01:22:05,192 --> 01:22:06,861 I was too young, I don't... 1354 01:22:06,895 --> 01:22:08,161 I don't really remember all the details, 1355 01:22:08,195 --> 01:22:09,563 but I do remember that. 1356 01:22:12,199 --> 01:22:14,669 Why would... Why would someone dump breast milk? 1357 01:22:18,673 --> 01:22:20,842 It's 'cause you were drinking, 1358 01:22:20,875 --> 01:22:22,610 'cause you... you didn't know how to cope. 1359 01:22:24,344 --> 01:22:26,046 I know that you smoked with me when you were pregnant 1360 01:22:26,079 --> 01:22:27,949 and you drank with me, 1361 01:22:27,982 --> 01:22:30,317 and you needed it for your nerves. 1362 01:22:30,350 --> 01:22:33,186 I know that 'cause nobody ever helped you, 1363 01:22:33,220 --> 01:22:34,454 'cause your dad hit you... 1364 01:22:35,088 --> 01:22:36,724 'cause you were raped. 1365 01:22:37,926 --> 01:22:40,762 'Cause you lost people that you cared about. 1366 01:22:42,931 --> 01:22:45,700 And I think that you carry that around with you. 1367 01:22:45,733 --> 01:22:47,735 And I think that you wanted a baby so bad 1368 01:22:47,769 --> 01:22:51,039 because you wanted pure love, 1369 01:22:51,071 --> 01:22:52,707 and you got that but I was sick. 1370 01:22:55,342 --> 01:22:56,711 I was just a sick kid. 1371 01:22:58,211 --> 01:23:00,080 And I think that that was probably 1372 01:23:00,113 --> 01:23:01,749 really overwhelming for you. 1373 01:23:03,718 --> 01:23:06,054 And I think that with all the trauma that you endured, 1374 01:23:06,086 --> 01:23:08,155 and I think that with all... 1375 01:23:08,188 --> 01:23:09,289 all the abuse, 1376 01:23:10,692 --> 01:23:15,095 the genetic predisposition for depression, 1377 01:23:15,128 --> 01:23:16,363 anxiety, all these things, 1378 01:23:16,396 --> 01:23:18,298 I think you were mentally ill. 1379 01:23:18,733 --> 01:23:20,068 I think there was a diagnosis in there, 1380 01:23:20,100 --> 01:23:21,803 but nobody... 1381 01:23:24,806 --> 01:23:25,940 They let you down, Mom. 1382 01:23:28,475 --> 01:23:31,012 And then you lost your mind and you died. 1383 01:23:32,579 --> 01:23:34,015 And that's not fair. 1384 01:23:35,215 --> 01:23:37,250 And I'm sorry. 1385 01:23:38,118 --> 01:23:39,787 I'm so sorry, Mom. 1386 01:23:44,458 --> 01:23:48,029 But I just need to say it, that I do remember. 1387 01:23:49,831 --> 01:23:51,264 I remember now 1388 01:23:51,298 --> 01:23:53,034 and I think that you had postpartum depression. 1389 01:23:55,003 --> 01:23:57,805 You just didn't know how to cope with... 1390 01:23:58,673 --> 01:23:59,774 With me. 1391 01:24:01,609 --> 01:24:02,677 And so you hurt me. 1392 01:24:04,311 --> 01:24:06,047 You hurt me before dad hurt me. 1393 01:24:06,948 --> 01:24:08,116 Before anybody else hurt me. 1394 01:24:08,148 --> 01:24:11,284 Before I became just a magnet... 1395 01:24:11,318 --> 01:24:12,386 for dysfunction. 1396 01:24:14,354 --> 01:24:16,024 And tragedy. 1397 01:24:19,259 --> 01:24:21,829 And I look at my life and I just think... 1398 01:24:23,931 --> 01:24:26,400 God, so much wasted time... 1399 01:24:29,536 --> 01:24:32,006 hurting, feeling like this. 1400 01:24:32,040 --> 01:24:34,274 And then I think back, and God, 1401 01:24:34,307 --> 01:24:38,146 this is how you must've felt your entire fucking life. 1402 01:24:40,313 --> 01:24:43,316 And it's unbearable. I don't know how you did it. 1403 01:24:49,791 --> 01:24:51,693 I know you did the best that you could. 1404 01:24:53,293 --> 01:24:56,030 And I know that you stored that trauma 1405 01:24:56,496 --> 01:24:58,598 and that dysfunction in your body... 1406 01:24:59,167 --> 01:25:01,201 and then you gave it to me. 1407 01:25:01,234 --> 01:25:03,971 And you probably got it from your folks, 1408 01:25:04,005 --> 01:25:05,673 and then their folks and then their folks. 1409 01:25:07,041 --> 01:25:09,110 And I've just been giving it to myself. 1410 01:25:11,713 --> 01:25:13,346 But I don't want to do that anymore. 1411 01:25:14,916 --> 01:25:17,417 I need to be done with this. 1412 01:25:21,555 --> 01:25:24,524 I'm really sorry that all of that happened to you. 1413 01:25:26,326 --> 01:25:28,796 And I know that you loved me. I know that. 1414 01:25:30,698 --> 01:25:32,900 I loved you too, I still love you, Mom. 1415 01:25:37,404 --> 01:25:39,640 And I just want you to know... 1416 01:25:43,343 --> 01:25:45,213 that it's okay. It's okay now. 1417 01:25:46,580 --> 01:25:47,648 You're safe now. 1418 01:25:52,687 --> 01:25:54,588 But I'm done with this. 1419 01:26:00,795 --> 01:26:02,130 Okay. 1420 01:26:05,398 --> 01:26:06,466 Okay. 1421 01:26:15,442 --> 01:26:16,409 Firefighters are being flown in 1422 01:26:16,443 --> 01:26:18,179 from various other states today 1423 01:26:18,212 --> 01:26:20,882 to help combat the ever-growing Vincent Fire, 1424 01:26:20,915 --> 01:26:24,919 now spread to many parts of Central and Northern California. 1425 01:26:24,952 --> 01:26:28,388 The Governor has declared a state of emergency. 1426 01:26:28,421 --> 01:26:30,024 In breaking news, 1427 01:26:30,057 --> 01:26:31,859 federal troops, the National Guard 1428 01:26:31,893 --> 01:26:33,928 and secret police are being deployed 1429 01:26:33,961 --> 01:26:35,897 into major cities across America, 1430 01:26:35,930 --> 01:26:38,132 effective immediately. 1431 01:26:38,166 --> 01:26:40,101 Military tanks have been deployed 1432 01:26:40,134 --> 01:26:42,302 and reports state that local law enforcement 1433 01:26:42,335 --> 01:26:44,205 is cooperating with the commanders... 1434 01:26:44,238 --> 01:26:47,440 ...who now have total and absolute control. 1435 01:26:47,474 --> 01:26:49,442 What does this mean for the American people? 1436 01:26:49,476 --> 01:26:51,112 The military can arrest civilians 1437 01:26:51,145 --> 01:26:52,479 for no stated reason, 1438 01:26:52,512 --> 01:26:54,849 thus suspending habeas corpus. 1439 01:26:54,882 --> 01:26:57,417 Civil liberties such as the right to free speech 1440 01:26:57,450 --> 01:26:59,754 and protection from unreasonable search and seizure 1441 01:26:59,787 --> 01:27:01,354 is suspended. 1442 01:27:01,388 --> 01:27:03,090 The speaker says this... 1443 01:27:03,124 --> 01:27:05,559 Hi. Oh, my God. I've been trying to get a hold of you. 1444 01:27:05,592 --> 01:27:07,228 I don't know if you've seen the news. 1445 01:27:07,261 --> 01:27:08,296 This is absolutely fucking crazy. 1446 01:27:08,328 --> 01:27:09,396 Hi. 1447 01:27:11,032 --> 01:27:12,133 Hi. 1448 01:27:15,203 --> 01:27:18,239 Why do you... You look like you are sick. 1449 01:27:19,439 --> 01:27:20,908 No. 1450 01:27:21,676 --> 01:27:23,244 You look like you have a fever. 1451 01:27:23,277 --> 01:27:25,512 You look... you look feverish. 1452 01:27:25,545 --> 01:27:28,448 I got a little bit of a fever, all right? 1453 01:27:28,481 --> 01:27:29,817 I'm not gonna lie to you. 1454 01:27:29,851 --> 01:27:31,686 I'm just sweating a little, that's all. 1455 01:27:31,719 --> 01:27:34,155 It's humid here. 1456 01:27:34,188 --> 01:27:35,522 So it's okay. 1457 01:27:35,857 --> 01:27:37,825 Yeah, it's... it's... it's... it's okay. 1458 01:27:39,492 --> 01:27:43,664 Are you sure that you... 1459 01:27:43,698 --> 01:27:47,001 actually want to be with me? 1460 01:27:47,500 --> 01:27:48,803 I'll need help with things, 1461 01:27:48,836 --> 01:27:51,571 it's not always going to be... 1462 01:27:51,973 --> 01:27:54,275 you know, romantic. 1463 01:27:57,879 --> 01:28:01,381 I know... I know it hurts and I know that it's hard. 1464 01:28:01,414 --> 01:28:02,884 It's... It's... it's hard to breathe, 1465 01:28:02,917 --> 01:28:05,720 but it says... it says that if you can just 1466 01:28:05,753 --> 01:28:07,454 kind of, like, lean forward 1467 01:28:07,487 --> 01:28:10,490 and... and just kind of, like, hit your... 1468 01:28:10,523 --> 01:28:12,226 like, I think it means that, 1469 01:28:12,260 --> 01:28:13,628 you know, if I were there, I would do it. 1470 01:28:13,661 --> 01:28:15,730 It's like, if... you kind of got to, like, 1471 01:28:15,763 --> 01:28:18,366 pound on your chest a little bit just to kind of like loosen up the mucus 1472 01:28:18,398 --> 01:28:21,736 because it's... it's just settling 1473 01:28:21,769 --> 01:28:24,672 and you can't move and you have to move, 1474 01:28:24,705 --> 01:28:26,707 but I know you can't move. 1475 01:28:28,209 --> 01:28:29,977 I get moody. 1476 01:28:30,011 --> 01:28:31,411 It can get dark, 1477 01:28:31,444 --> 01:28:32,980 and I don't want you to see that. 1478 01:28:35,415 --> 01:28:38,853 There's a house on a street 1479 01:28:38,886 --> 01:28:39,987 by the sea. 1480 01:28:59,874 --> 01:29:00,942 Hi. 1481 01:29:02,276 --> 01:29:03,344 Hi. 103382