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1
00:00:11,659 --> 00:00:15,704
NARRATOR".
An apparently peaceful day in Gotham City.
2
00:00:15,871 --> 00:00:17,998
But what is this?
3
00:00:18,165 --> 00:00:22,002
An armored-car holdup in broad daylight?
4
00:00:22,169 --> 00:00:24,046
Bash those guards.
5
00:00:24,213 --> 00:00:25,673
Heist that cash.
6
00:00:26,006 --> 00:00:29,552
Use your guns.
I wanna hear some noise. Quack.
7
00:00:34,390 --> 00:00:37,685
We're going to be late for that lecture
to the Crime Prevention League.
8
00:00:37,851 --> 00:00:40,437
Sounds like we may pick up
new material for the lecture.
9
00:00:40,604 --> 00:00:44,608
There's nothing like a little
on-the-job research, old chum.
10
00:00:47,319 --> 00:00:51,198
Lift that loot and tote that cash.
Get the loot.
11
00:00:51,407 --> 00:00:54,910
Hurry up. You're supposed to be crooks,
not a bunch of old women.
12
00:01:05,087 --> 00:01:06,964
What are you buttinskies doing here?
13
00:01:07,131 --> 00:01:10,175
Just a little scholarly research, Penguin.
14
00:01:12,094 --> 00:01:15,264
Stop. Stop this outrageous intrusion.
15
00:01:22,396 --> 00:01:24,773
Cease, I say. Cease and desist.
16
00:01:27,359 --> 00:01:29,361
Stop, you bumbling buffoons.
17
00:01:29,528 --> 00:01:31,447
This is legal, I tell you. It's legal.
18
00:01:31,614 --> 00:01:34,575
Have you heard anything
about legalized thievery, Robin?
19
00:01:34,742 --> 00:01:36,327
Can't say that I have, Batman.
20
00:01:36,493 --> 00:01:39,538
I'll wipe those silly smirks
off your faces in court.
21
00:01:39,705 --> 00:01:43,417
I'll sue you for assault and battery
and aggravated interference.
22
00:01:44,126 --> 00:01:49,590
Tsk. You're witnessing the final
disintegration of a criminal brain, Robin.
23
00:01:50,007 --> 00:01:52,968
Years of outlawry have taken
their inevitable toll.
24
00:01:53,552 --> 00:01:55,804
But he's right
about our being in court, Batman.
25
00:01:56,180 --> 00:02:00,559
We'll be the prosecution's star witnesses
when they try you for armed robbery.
26
00:02:02,353 --> 00:02:04,188
Mother machree. What's happening?
27
00:02:04,355 --> 00:02:07,107
Nothing now, chief.
Lucky we happened to be passing by.
28
00:02:07,274 --> 00:02:10,611
Oh, no, Batman, 'twasn't luck.
'Twas a tragedy.
29
00:02:10,778 --> 00:02:13,030
Do your duty, O'Hara.
Slap the handcuffs on them.
30
00:02:13,197 --> 00:02:15,616
They've attacked these innocent citizens.
31
00:02:15,783 --> 00:02:18,243
Innocent citizens?
32
00:02:18,869 --> 00:02:20,204
What's going on here, chief?
33
00:02:20,371 --> 00:02:23,415
I'm afraid he's right, Batman. Look around.
34
00:02:27,336 --> 00:02:30,589
Holy CinemaScope.
Penguin making pictures?
35
00:02:32,633 --> 00:02:34,134
That robbery was just a mock-up.
36
00:02:34,301 --> 00:02:37,179
But this permit isn't a mock-up,
Boy Blunderhead.
37
00:02:37,346 --> 00:02:41,767
It's signed and sealed by
the Gotham City Motion Picture Commission.
38
00:02:41,934 --> 00:02:47,523
And I'm gonna sue the city for $10 million
for failure to provide proper protection.
39
00:02:47,690 --> 00:02:51,276
Do you hear that, Batman?
Ten million dollars.
40
00:02:51,443 --> 00:02:52,528
I hear you, Penguin.
41
00:02:52,695 --> 00:02:56,448
And you two are going to jail
for aggravated assault...
42
00:02:56,615 --> 00:02:58,492
and malicious property damage.
43
00:02:58,659 --> 00:03:00,452
Do you hear that, Batman?
44
00:03:00,619 --> 00:03:01,704
Jail.
45
00:03:01,870 --> 00:03:05,165
- Looks like he's got us this time, Robin.
- Like rats in a trap.
46
00:03:07,751 --> 00:03:10,212
But I'm willing to make a deal.
47
00:04:26,747 --> 00:04:31,418
But, Batman, this is a contract for you
and Robin to act in Penguin's picture.
48
00:04:31,585 --> 00:04:32,628
And you've signed it.
49
00:04:32,795 --> 00:04:36,757
Aw, it was blackmail, commissioner.
That bird trapped them into it.
50
00:04:36,924 --> 00:04:39,635
- Not exactly, chief.
- What do you mean, Batman?
51
00:04:39,802 --> 00:04:42,262
I wanted to sign that contract, Robin.
52
00:04:42,429 --> 00:04:44,389
You knew that robbery was a fake
from the start?
53
00:04:44,556 --> 00:04:47,184
Yes, I saw the movie equipment
as we drove up.
54
00:04:47,351 --> 00:04:49,853
I didn't have time to explain...
55
00:04:50,020 --> 00:04:52,940
but I wanted Penguin to think
that he'd trapped us.
56
00:04:53,106 --> 00:04:54,316
Why, Batman?
57
00:04:54,483 --> 00:04:57,361
When someone like Penguin
sets up a movie company...
58
00:04:57,528 --> 00:05:00,823
you can be sure it's not only
film he's after, commissioner.
59
00:05:00,989 --> 00:05:03,784
- Sure and that's the truth.
- So you signed that contract...
60
00:05:03,951 --> 00:05:06,787
so we could keep an eye on Penguin.
- Precisely, Robin.
61
00:05:06,954 --> 00:05:11,333
It's the only way we can stay close to him
without arousing his suspicion.
62
00:05:11,500 --> 00:05:14,127
What do you think the Penguin's planning,
Batman?
63
00:05:14,294 --> 00:05:16,672
That's what we'll try to find out,
commissioner.
64
00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:20,843
He's gone to a lot of expense
to establish this film company...
65
00:05:21,009 --> 00:05:25,305
so we can be sure it's something big.
66
00:05:35,232 --> 00:05:37,192
Where is Marsha, Queen of Diamonds?
67
00:05:37,359 --> 00:05:39,945
She is two hours late, Miss Patterson.
68
00:05:40,112 --> 00:05:42,114
We're trying to locate her, Mr. Penguin.
69
00:05:42,281 --> 00:05:45,284
Well, try harder.
Time is money in the movie business.
70
00:05:45,450 --> 00:05:47,786
- Yes, Mr. Penguin.
- Quack.
71
00:05:50,289 --> 00:05:51,456
Prop Department?
72
00:05:51,623 --> 00:05:54,376
No, Mr. Penguin. This
is the Set Department.
73
00:05:54,543 --> 00:05:56,545
Eh. Prop Department?
74
00:05:56,712 --> 00:05:59,756
Sorry, Mr. Penguin. This is Publicity.
75
00:05:59,923 --> 00:06:02,050
Prop Department?
76
00:06:03,635 --> 00:06:05,554
Prop Department?
77
00:06:07,055 --> 00:06:10,225
- Prop Department?
- Yes, Mr. Penguin.
78
00:06:10,392 --> 00:06:12,352
Forgot what I wanted you for.
79
00:06:12,519 --> 00:06:16,231
Oh, yes. Have you ordered that milk
for scene 12 tomorrow?
80
00:06:16,398 --> 00:06:18,525
Yes, sir. The tank trucks are arriving now.
81
00:06:18,692 --> 00:06:20,319
Twenty-four thousand gallons.
82
00:06:20,485 --> 00:06:22,738
Heh. Good, good, good.
83
00:06:22,905 --> 00:06:24,531
Mr. Penguin?
84
00:06:24,698 --> 00:06:25,908
Yes, Miss Patterson.
85
00:06:26,074 --> 00:06:27,910
PATTERSON".
Marsha, Queen of Diamonds, is here.
86
00:06:28,076 --> 00:06:29,912
Send her in, send her in.
87
00:06:33,081 --> 00:06:36,543
Oh, I see that you're at your
glittering best, my dear.
88
00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:38,503
Thank you, darling.
89
00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:43,133
Now, how do you suggest I get across
this football field you call an office?
90
00:06:43,634 --> 00:06:46,637
Ah, well, just hop into my Pengy-mobile
and ride over.
91
00:06:48,138 --> 00:06:49,473
Ah.
92
00:06:58,398 --> 00:07:00,567
Oh, my!
93
00:07:00,734 --> 00:07:05,697
Why, you're even more ravishing than usual,
Martha my darling.
94
00:07:05,864 --> 00:07:07,950
Skip the compliments, darling.
95
00:07:08,116 --> 00:07:10,953
You wouldn't have asked me here
if you didn't want something.
96
00:07:11,119 --> 00:07:12,537
Yes, I do want something.
97
00:07:12,704 --> 00:07:15,290
I want to make you a millionairess.
98
00:07:15,457 --> 00:07:17,709
How boring. I'm already a millionairess.
99
00:07:17,876 --> 00:07:22,339
Heh, it's true. Then how would you like
to be a billionairess?
100
00:07:22,506 --> 00:07:25,258
- That's interesting.
- And all you have to do...
101
00:07:25,425 --> 00:07:29,054
is to become my partner
in this motion-picture company.
102
00:07:29,221 --> 00:07:34,184
Oh, come, now, Pengy. You don't really think
there's a billion dollars in filmmaking.
103
00:07:34,351 --> 00:07:37,187
Faugh, this motion-picture company
is just a front.
104
00:07:37,354 --> 00:07:38,438
- A front?
- That's right.
105
00:07:38,605 --> 00:07:40,816
A front? For what? For what?
106
00:07:40,983 --> 00:07:44,236
For the biggest caper ever to be pulled
in Gotham City.
107
00:07:44,403 --> 00:07:47,656
But I need capital,
because this is a very expensive front.
108
00:07:47,823 --> 00:07:50,534
- How much capital?
- Mm, as much as we can get.
109
00:07:50,701 --> 00:07:55,080
About a dozen of those diamonds
that you're wearing as a start.
110
00:07:55,247 --> 00:08:00,085
And for a dozen of my diamonds,
I will be the star of your film, of course.
111
00:08:00,252 --> 00:08:04,172
Well, I was thinking of somebody
with more... With more "waah."
112
00:08:04,339 --> 00:08:08,969
If you're thinking of my diamonds, darling,
you were thinking of me for the star.
113
00:08:09,136 --> 00:08:12,848
The star of my film is Batman. Heh!
114
00:08:13,015 --> 00:08:14,516
- Batman? Batman?
- Yes.
115
00:08:14,683 --> 00:08:19,229
- How did you get him?
- Oh, well, my usual bit of cunning chicanery.
116
00:08:19,396 --> 00:08:21,189
Along with the Boy Wonder.
117
00:08:21,356 --> 00:08:22,899
How's that for a cool one?
118
00:08:23,066 --> 00:08:25,152
- Very clever.
- Mm?
119
00:08:25,318 --> 00:08:27,821
- Pengy, darling.
- Yeah?
120
00:08:27,988 --> 00:08:31,908
Does Batman have a love scene
with the leading lady in your film?
121
00:08:32,075 --> 00:08:35,871
Why, of course. Who ever heard
of a film without a love scene?
122
00:08:36,038 --> 00:08:38,915
Then I shall be your leading lady.
123
00:08:39,082 --> 00:08:40,375
Or no diamonds.
124
00:08:40,542 --> 00:08:44,880
I might even be able to get my aunt Hilda
to whip up a love potion for my lipstick.
125
00:08:45,047 --> 00:08:47,007
Your aunt Hilda? Heh!
126
00:08:47,174 --> 00:08:49,968
Is that old witch still practicing
her black magic?
127
00:08:50,135 --> 00:08:51,720
The blackest, darling.
128
00:08:51,887 --> 00:08:56,016
And with her help,
I'll finally get Batman in my power.
129
00:08:56,183 --> 00:08:58,685
Well, that's an additional
bit of chicanery. All right.
130
00:08:58,852 --> 00:09:00,312
- Is it a deal?
- It's a deal.
131
00:09:00,479 --> 00:09:03,523
Ah, good. I wouldn't mind winning an Oscar.
132
00:09:03,690 --> 00:09:05,859
Heh, an Oscar? Heh!
133
00:09:06,026 --> 00:09:07,444
You don't want one of those.
134
00:09:07,611 --> 00:09:09,446
My dear, if you play along with me...
135
00:09:09,613 --> 00:09:14,159
you are liable to win the most coveted award
in the entire motion-picture business.
136
00:09:14,326 --> 00:09:16,787
You are liable to win...
137
00:09:16,953 --> 00:09:18,997
a Penguin.
138
00:09:20,582 --> 00:09:23,627
Penguin's script looks innocent enough,
Robin.
139
00:09:23,794 --> 00:09:27,839
An historical spectacle
set in the days of ancient Rome.
140
00:09:28,006 --> 00:09:29,591
But holy miscasts, Batman.
141
00:09:29,758 --> 00:09:33,929
We play a pair of barbarian bandits sentenced
to fight as gladiators in the Coliseum.
142
00:09:34,096 --> 00:09:38,308
Casting us as bandits would appeal
to Penguin's warped sense of humor.
143
00:09:38,475 --> 00:09:41,103
He's sure gonna want us
jumping through hoops, Batman.
144
00:09:41,269 --> 00:09:43,730
And I'm afraid we'll have to jump, Robin.
145
00:09:43,897 --> 00:09:47,192
At least until we find out what he's up to.
146
00:09:48,318 --> 00:09:52,155
But we don't have to make things
easy for him.
147
00:09:52,322 --> 00:09:56,243
Take a look at scene 12, on Page 33.
148
00:10:00,622 --> 00:10:03,667
Gosh, Batman. What a scene.
149
00:10:03,834 --> 00:10:07,003
I think someone connected
with the Gotham City Film Decency League...
150
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:10,048
should take a look at this script.
What do you think, Robin?
151
00:10:12,092 --> 00:10:13,635
What do you think, Robin?
152
00:10:13,802 --> 00:10:17,097
Oh. I think Penguin's gonna be
in very hot water, Batman.
153
00:10:17,264 --> 00:10:18,431
That's what I think.
154
00:10:26,648 --> 00:10:28,692
This must be it, Robin.
155
00:10:47,377 --> 00:10:51,840
- Holy movie moguls, Batman.
- Penguin's certainly playing his part to the hilt.
156
00:10:55,177 --> 00:10:57,971
Well, if it isn't my two ham actors.
157
00:10:58,138 --> 00:11:00,015
The only ham here is wearing a top hat.
158
00:11:00,182 --> 00:11:03,810
Tut-tut, Boy Bungler,
we can't all be great artists.
159
00:11:09,024 --> 00:11:10,692
There it is.
160
00:11:10,859 --> 00:11:15,322
An exact duplicate of the famous
Tyrrhenian baths in ancient Rome.
161
00:11:15,488 --> 00:11:17,240
This is for scene 12, I take it.
162
00:11:17,407 --> 00:11:20,911
- You like that scene, eh, Batman?
- I think it's in very poor taste, Penguin.
163
00:11:21,077 --> 00:11:24,331
Faugh, it's a fantastically
magnificent scene.
164
00:11:24,497 --> 00:11:26,708
- I wrote it myself.
- Obviously.
165
00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:30,420
What's the reason for the blindfolds,
Batman?
166
00:11:30,587 --> 00:11:34,883
The reason is arriving now, Boy Bromide.
167
00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:41,973
Hello, darling.
168
00:11:42,140 --> 00:11:47,395
Oh, this'll be the most startling
spectacle ever to hit the screen. Ha, ha.
169
00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:54,277
Wardrobe, where is Miss Marsha's,
heh, costume? Heh, heh.
170
00:11:54,444 --> 00:11:56,821
Ah, there it is. Very good.
171
00:11:56,988 --> 00:12:00,659
Ah! Perfect, perfect. Thank you, thank you.
172
00:12:02,994 --> 00:12:06,581
Are you ready to make history
with this milk bath, my dear?
173
00:12:06,748 --> 00:12:09,834
Ready whenever you are, C.B.
174
00:12:10,001 --> 00:12:12,212
The love potion in my
lipstick is ready too.
175
00:12:15,298 --> 00:12:19,094
Oh. Batman and Robin, how nice to see you.
176
00:12:19,261 --> 00:12:21,304
You too, Mrs. Cooper.
177
00:12:21,471 --> 00:12:25,517
Could you point out someone called
Mr. Penguin to me'?
178
00:12:26,226 --> 00:12:28,353
I am Mr. Penguin, madam.
179
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:33,400
And I am Mrs. Harriet Cooper
of the Gotham City League of Film Decency.
180
00:12:34,943 --> 00:12:36,486
Film Decency?
181
00:12:36,653 --> 00:12:38,238
What are you doing here, Mrs. C?
182
00:12:38,405 --> 00:12:40,740
We have read your script, Mr. Penguin.
183
00:12:40,907 --> 00:12:45,954
And we cannot approve the scene
which you apparently are about to shoot.
184
00:12:46,121 --> 00:12:47,831
This is outrageous.
185
00:12:47,998 --> 00:12:50,083
As the leading entrepreneur
of Gotham City...
186
00:12:50,250 --> 00:12:54,879
I will not submit to having
one page of my masterpiece enfeebled.
187
00:12:55,046 --> 00:12:59,342
And we will not submit
to such bullying tones.
188
00:12:59,509 --> 00:13:03,805
Kindly remove your Victorian mind
from my set, Mrs. C.
189
00:13:03,972 --> 00:13:08,727
Only when you remove this morbid scene
from your film.
190
00:13:08,893 --> 00:13:10,520
Think of the children.
191
00:13:10,687 --> 00:13:12,731
I am thinking of the children, madam.
192
00:13:12,897 --> 00:13:14,941
Look at this. Look at this here.
193
00:13:15,108 --> 00:13:19,195
Twenty-three thousand quarts
of homogenized milk here.
194
00:13:19,362 --> 00:13:21,614
Fortified with vitamin C.
195
00:13:21,781 --> 00:13:26,536
I tell you, this whole scene is bursting
with minerals and vitamins.
196
00:13:26,703 --> 00:13:30,457
This scene is bursting
with other things as well.
197
00:13:30,665 --> 00:13:34,252
Oh, you know, I suspect this is your doing,
masked meddlers.
198
00:13:34,419 --> 00:13:38,006
You're always poking your proboscis
into other people's business.
199
00:13:38,173 --> 00:13:40,508
Decency is everybody's business, Penguin.
200
00:13:40,675 --> 00:13:43,303
All right. All right,
we will out the scene.
201
00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:47,098
And instead, we will do scene 43.
202
00:13:47,265 --> 00:13:48,767
Get ready, Marsha.
203
00:13:48,933 --> 00:13:52,979
And you, Batman,
take your place for scene 43.
204
00:13:55,732 --> 00:13:57,901
Scene 43,
that's the one where you and Marsha...
205
00:13:58,068 --> 00:13:59,986
Yes, I know, Robin.
206
00:14:00,153 --> 00:14:02,489
But I'll have to do it.
207
00:14:11,831 --> 00:14:15,835
I trust you're going to enjoy this scene,
Batman, darling.
208
00:14:16,002 --> 00:14:18,963
I made a bargain with Penguin,
and I never break my word.
209
00:14:19,130 --> 00:14:20,382
Bargain?
210
00:14:20,548 --> 00:14:25,387
Why, half the men in the world would fight
to be kissed by Marsha, Queen of Diamonds.
211
00:14:25,553 --> 00:14:27,680
They certainly wouldn't have to fight me.
212
00:14:27,847 --> 00:14:30,767
What an appalling lack of enthusiasm,
darling.
213
00:14:30,934 --> 00:14:35,188
But don't worry,
I have enough enthusiasm for both of us.
214
00:14:35,855 --> 00:14:37,565
Lights.
215
00:14:38,066 --> 00:14:39,818
Camera.
216
00:14:40,193 --> 00:14:42,112
Action.
217
00:14:48,118 --> 00:14:50,870
Cut it. That's not good enough.
218
00:14:51,037 --> 00:14:54,207
Batman, I want you
to put some "grah" into it.
219
00:14:54,374 --> 00:14:56,543
We'll do it again and again and again.
220
00:14:56,709 --> 00:14:58,545
Once is enough, you feathered fraud.
221
00:14:59,087 --> 00:15:01,297
Tut-tut, Boy Bluenose.
222
00:15:01,464 --> 00:15:05,218
Penguin is a perfectionist. I'll do
it a hundred times if it's necessary.
223
00:15:05,635 --> 00:15:07,887
And it will be necessary.
224
00:15:08,054 --> 00:15:09,139
All right, action.
225
00:15:15,353 --> 00:15:19,482
Oh, Bruce, your lips are terribly chapped.
226
00:15:19,649 --> 00:15:22,152
It's a mild case of windburn, Aunt Harriet.
227
00:15:22,318 --> 00:15:25,071
You see, this afternoon,
Dick and I took an open bus tour...
228
00:15:25,238 --> 00:15:28,032
through the Wayne Animal Sanctuary.
229
00:15:28,199 --> 00:15:31,619
Well, I'm going to get you some salve
for those lips.
230
00:15:31,786 --> 00:15:34,247
Just in case a pretty
girl wants to kiss you.
231
00:15:37,625 --> 00:15:41,254
Boy, I'll bet you'll never wanna kiss
another girl as long as you live, Bruce.
232
00:15:41,421 --> 00:15:44,757
I wouldn't go so far as to say that, Dick.
You're jumping to a rash conclusion.
233
00:15:44,924 --> 00:15:48,219
Aw, you looked like you were putting up
quite a struggle, all right.
234
00:15:48,386 --> 00:15:51,306
I think there was some kind of potion
in her lipstick.
235
00:15:51,473 --> 00:15:55,977
- Potion?
- Yes. I think a love-inducing elixir of some sort.
236
00:15:56,144 --> 00:15:57,979
No wonder your lips are chapped.
237
00:15:58,146 --> 00:16:01,524
It took a great amount of concentration
to combat its effectiveness.
238
00:16:01,691 --> 00:16:04,110
Good. Speaking of the immediate future...
239
00:16:04,277 --> 00:16:06,988
why do you think
Penguin is shooting tomorrow's scene...
240
00:16:07,155 --> 00:16:09,741
at the Gotham City
Museum of Antiquities?
241
00:16:09,908 --> 00:16:14,204
He claims he wants to use the museum
as a background for his films.
242
00:16:14,370 --> 00:16:18,166
But I suspect he has something
bigger in mind.
243
00:16:18,458 --> 00:16:22,253
Shouldn't we do something? That museum
is full of priceless and irreplaceable art.
244
00:16:22,420 --> 00:16:24,422
I have done something about it, Dick.
245
00:16:24,589 --> 00:16:27,800
I went to the museum and planted
Bat-homing devices on every object of art.
246
00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:31,346
Ah, Alfred. Have you been keeping an eye
on the Bat-radar scopes?
247
00:16:31,513 --> 00:16:35,016
Yes, sir. And so far the signals
from the Bat-homing devices indicate...
248
00:16:35,183 --> 00:16:37,769
that all the objects of art
are still in the museum.
249
00:16:37,936 --> 00:16:39,354
Hmm.
250
00:16:39,521 --> 00:16:44,776
I suspect some of the objects will be moved
before the night is over.
251
00:16:44,984 --> 00:16:47,278
And we'll know exactly
where Penguin's taken them.
252
00:16:47,445 --> 00:16:50,323
So far, our overall plan is working
like a charm, Bruce.
253
00:16:50,490 --> 00:16:53,409
So far, Dick. So far.
254
00:16:54,994 --> 00:16:57,872
Didn't you think I was magnificent
in that love scene, darling?
255
00:16:58,039 --> 00:17:01,042
Well, you were certainly better
than the potion in that lipstick.
256
00:17:01,209 --> 00:17:03,211
That left Batman colder than an iceberg.
257
00:17:03,378 --> 00:17:06,548
Yes, Aunt Hilda obviously forgot
to put enough oomph into it.
258
00:17:06,714 --> 00:17:09,842
- Anyway, your plan is working so far.
- What do you mean, so far?
259
00:17:10,009 --> 00:17:12,929
A Penguin plan is money in the bank.
260
00:17:13,221 --> 00:17:17,267
Money in the bank is no good to us, darling.
Our problem is getting it out of the bank.
261
00:17:17,433 --> 00:17:20,520
Don't worry, it'll be out of the bank
and in our hands soon enough.
262
00:17:20,687 --> 00:17:23,898
You see, stage one is already in progress.
263
00:17:24,065 --> 00:17:26,776
Right now my men should be
at the Museum of Antiquities.
264
00:17:26,943 --> 00:17:29,320
And stage two is likewise under control.
265
00:17:29,487 --> 00:17:33,408
Now for stage three. I will need another
love potion from your aunt Hilda.
266
00:17:33,575 --> 00:17:35,994
And one that'll really,
really work this time.
267
00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:37,662
I'll see what I can do, darling.
268
00:17:37,829 --> 00:17:40,832
In the meantime,
you'll have to tell me what stage three is.
269
00:17:42,208 --> 00:17:44,669
- Tell me.
- No, I never trust a woman with a secret.
270
00:17:44,836 --> 00:17:48,631
And if you're nothing else, Marsha,
you're certainly a woman.
271
00:17:48,798 --> 00:17:51,718
A woman with diamonds, darling.
272
00:17:51,884 --> 00:17:54,512
Or would you rather return
my collateral to me?
273
00:17:54,679 --> 00:17:57,849
No, no. That's extortion, Marsha.
274
00:17:58,016 --> 00:18:02,145
You should know, darling. You should know.
275
00:18:03,730 --> 00:18:07,275
- Hello, Aunt Hilda.
- Hello, dearie.
276
00:18:09,527 --> 00:18:10,987
What is that?
277
00:18:11,154 --> 00:18:14,240
Mortimer, say hello to Marsha.
278
00:18:17,827 --> 00:18:20,997
Aunt Hilda,
have you been robbing graveyards again?
279
00:18:21,164 --> 00:18:23,458
Oh, no, dearie.
280
00:18:23,625 --> 00:18:25,960
I left off that 20 years ago...
281
00:18:26,127 --> 00:18:30,006
when I was chemistry professor
at Vassar. Until I quit.
282
00:18:30,173 --> 00:18:31,966
Don't you mean until you were fired?
283
00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:35,637
A term I find most unappealing, dearie.
284
00:18:35,970 --> 00:18:37,889
Speaking of things unappealing...
285
00:18:38,056 --> 00:18:39,724
where did you get that?
286
00:18:39,891 --> 00:18:43,144
I left one of the potions
in the caldron overnight...
287
00:18:43,311 --> 00:18:46,648
and next morning, there was Mortimer.
288
00:18:46,814 --> 00:18:48,232
He's really quite friendly.
289
00:18:50,068 --> 00:18:53,946
How are you doing with your other potions
these days, Aunt Hilda?
290
00:18:54,113 --> 00:18:55,406
Other potions?
291
00:18:55,573 --> 00:18:58,242
That one you put in my lipstick
was a complete failure.
292
00:18:58,409 --> 00:19:01,454
Well, that was because I ran out
of chameleon tongues, dearie.
293
00:19:01,621 --> 00:19:04,999
- But if you want something really strong...
- I do, I do.
294
00:19:05,166 --> 00:19:08,503
I was just about to whip
up one of my bests.
295
00:19:08,670 --> 00:19:11,756
The old toad potion.
296
00:19:11,923 --> 00:19:14,384
My very strongest.
297
00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:18,888
Oh, dear.
298
00:19:19,055 --> 00:19:21,474
I'm afraid I'm out of old toads too.
299
00:19:22,183 --> 00:19:24,185
Can't you substitute some new toads?
300
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:28,398
It would never work, dearie.
301
00:19:28,981 --> 00:19:31,943
We've just got to get some more old toads.
302
00:19:44,414 --> 00:19:46,791
It doesn't look as if Penguin
took anything, Batman.
303
00:19:46,958 --> 00:19:48,000
No it doesn't, Robin.
304
00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:52,004
All our homing devices seem to be in place.
305
00:19:52,463 --> 00:19:54,882
But I'm still suspicious, Robin.
306
00:19:55,049 --> 00:19:57,927
Suspicious of what, Caped Codger?
307
00:19:58,094 --> 00:20:04,100
Don't tell me you're suspicious of the Penguin
tampering with these priceless works of art.
308
00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:06,269
The thought did cross my mind.
309
00:20:06,436 --> 00:20:11,274
What, a great filmmaker like myself stooping
to a petty theft? Why, that's ridiculous.
310
00:20:11,441 --> 00:20:13,693
What's ridiculous is thinking
you're a great filmmaker.
311
00:20:13,860 --> 00:20:16,779
I write the lines around
here, Boy Blowhard.
312
00:20:16,946 --> 00:20:18,448
You stick to the script.
313
00:20:18,823 --> 00:20:21,909
Speaking of which,
your big scene is coming up.
314
00:20:22,076 --> 00:20:25,455
I must see to it that everything is,
heh, prepared.
315
00:20:29,584 --> 00:20:32,420
- Batman, thank heaven you're here.
- What's wrong, Mr. Tamber?
316
00:20:32,587 --> 00:20:36,507
The museum's priceless collection of
15th-century chain-mail armor, it's gone.
317
00:20:36,674 --> 00:20:38,301
That's impossible. Our Bat-homing...
318
00:20:38,468 --> 00:20:42,180
There is one factor I could've overlooked,
Robin.
319
00:20:42,346 --> 00:20:45,349
The metal alloy in that armor
could've set up a magnetic field...
320
00:20:45,516 --> 00:20:47,435
which blocked our homing transmission.
321
00:20:47,602 --> 00:20:49,771
You have to get them back, Batman.
322
00:20:49,937 --> 00:20:54,484
That unique alloy was invented
by the great master Benvenuto Violini.
323
00:20:54,650 --> 00:20:55,693
Violini.
324
00:20:55,860 --> 00:20:58,446
Yes, he made the chain-mail
armor out of it.
325
00:20:58,613 --> 00:21:02,909
We'll try our best, Mr. Tamber. But I
think you should move out of this room.
326
00:21:04,243 --> 00:21:06,245
There could be some trouble here.
327
00:21:09,874 --> 00:21:12,752
I think Batman has discovered
the missing armor.
328
00:21:12,919 --> 00:21:15,129
We'd better start this scene early.
329
00:21:15,296 --> 00:21:18,132
All right, Batman, a light rehearsal.
330
00:21:18,299 --> 00:21:20,009
Action.
331
00:21:20,843 --> 00:21:25,097
I have a strange feeling Penguin is going
to make this a very realistic scene, Robin.
332
00:21:25,264 --> 00:21:28,601
If he wants realism,
we'll give him realism.
333
00:21:30,895 --> 00:21:34,607
Detail, halt. Prepare to fight. One, two.
334
00:21:42,156 --> 00:21:45,326
That's it. Skewer the scrofulous scullion.
335
00:21:45,493 --> 00:21:48,204
Spear him like a cucumber. Quack, quack!
336
00:21:52,250 --> 00:21:55,628
That's not in the script, Batman.
I'm directing this scene.
337
00:21:55,795 --> 00:21:58,005
Maybe we'll get you in the scene, Penguin.
338
00:22:55,521 --> 00:22:59,275
Those costumed cutups
are slicing my finks to ribbon.
339
00:23:06,490 --> 00:23:08,826
Uh... Quack.
340
00:23:13,539 --> 00:23:15,791
Shield your eyes, Robin.
341
00:23:18,711 --> 00:23:22,715
Ah. Now we'll give those two-bit actors
a piece of real action.
342
00:23:24,550 --> 00:23:28,346
This catapult will hurl you through the sky
and across Gotham City.
343
00:23:28,512 --> 00:23:31,432
I'm sure you'll make a big splash
at the other end of your journey.
344
00:23:33,476 --> 00:23:37,355
And your last moments on Earth
will be recorded for posterity...
345
00:23:37,521 --> 00:23:40,274
by those two cameras
that I've strapped to your legs.
346
00:23:40,441 --> 00:23:42,568
And I'll show the film
at a special premiere...
347
00:23:42,735 --> 00:23:47,406
for the Benefit of the
Amalgamated Crooks of Gotham City.
348
00:23:47,573 --> 00:23:54,121
The In-Flight Motion Pictures Benefit
of Penguin Productions Unlimited.
349
00:23:58,417 --> 00:24:03,005
Good flight, masked missiles.
We'll watch from a better vantage point.
350
00:24:05,508 --> 00:24:07,343
Farewell.
29590
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