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1
00:00:01,702 --> 00:00:05,273
A simile directly compares
two things,
2
00:00:05,306 --> 00:00:08,176
using the words "like" and "as."
3
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:10,211
"I slept
like a log."
4
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,380
"I'm hungry as a horse."
5
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,782
"Your love is like
bad medicine."
6
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,050
Exactly.
7
00:00:16,084 --> 00:00:17,385
That's Bon Jovi.
8
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:18,819
Okay.
9
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,488
His hair is awesome.
10
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:21,355
Moving on.
11
00:00:21,389 --> 00:00:25,059
Metaphors are different
from similes.
12
00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:29,497
ADULT SHELDON:
I've been called a germophobe,
13
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:33,134
but I do find
a single sneeze acceptable.
14
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,369
It could be caused
by dust, allergies--
15
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:38,539
really, whatever nasal
irritant floats your boat.
16
00:00:38,572 --> 00:00:40,608
However...
17
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:43,177
during flu season...
18
00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:48,416
...a second sneeze means
a plague is upon the land,
19
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,384
and it's every man
for himself.
20
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,854
Where do you think
you're going?
21
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,223
Away from you.
22
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:56,224
Why's that?
23
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:57,858
I want to live.
24
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,728
I'm not sick.
Get back in your seat.
25
00:01:00,761 --> 00:01:02,196
No, thank you.
26
00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:04,232
You know the rules.
27
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,200
You can't leave
without a hall pass.
28
00:01:06,234 --> 00:01:08,602
May I have a hall pass?
29
00:01:08,636 --> 00:01:09,770
No, you may not.
30
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:11,472
Now get back in your seat.
31
00:01:11,505 --> 00:01:14,342
ADULT SHELDON: Rules
are the pillars of society.
32
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:15,443
I love rules.
33
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:18,146
But what benefit are rules
to a dead man?
34
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,350
* Nobody else
is stronger than I am *
35
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:25,219
* Yesterday I moved a mountain
36
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:27,788
* I bet I could be your hero
37
00:01:27,821 --> 00:01:30,224
* I am a mighty little man
38
00:01:30,258 --> 00:01:34,328
* I am a mighty little man. *
39
00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:45,306
Excuse me.
40
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,908
Do I look like
I'm getting sick to you?
41
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,344
You look a little pale.
42
00:01:50,378 --> 00:01:52,746
Okay, good, that's normal.
43
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:56,417
Now, I understand Sheldon
is an exceptional child,
44
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:57,685
all right,
but when he
45
00:01:57,718 --> 00:01:59,620
willfully disobeys
the order of a teacher,
46
00:01:59,653 --> 00:02:01,422
there needs
to be some consequences here.
47
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,924
Oh, we couldn't
agree more.
48
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,526
What kind of punishment
are you thinking?
49
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:09,363
Well, Mary, in a case like this,
a few days of detention.
50
00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:11,332
Really? That seems
a little harsh.
51
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,401
Oh, detention's
no big deal.
52
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:17,205
Now, my principal used to
whup my ass with a paddle.
53
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:18,406
That got
my attention.
54
00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:20,774
Oh, yeah.
Those were the days.
55
00:02:21,909 --> 00:02:23,911
Still have mine.
56
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:27,715
Ah.
57
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:28,882
Ol' Spanky.
58
00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:30,751
:
Whoa.
59
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:33,587
Got a real nice grip
on that thing.
Yeah, George.
60
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:36,724
Had the equipment manager over
at the Astros make this for me.
61
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:39,260
The holes in it...
62
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:41,262
cut down on wind resistance.
63
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:42,763
Smart.
64
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:45,333
But these days you have
to have a consent form
65
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,201
to whack the kids.
66
00:02:47,235 --> 00:02:49,870
I don't know
where this world's headed.
67
00:02:49,903 --> 00:02:52,906
You ought to get one of those
for when Georgie acts up.
68
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:55,209
Like you never thought
about going upside his head
69
00:02:55,243 --> 00:02:57,678
with a slab of wood.
70
00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,814
You know, there was a time
this thing gave me tennis elbow.
71
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,526
(continues
blowing nose)
72
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:17,865
Okay, Sheldon, come o...
73
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:20,268
Where'd he go?
74
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:21,569
Thataway.
75
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:22,636
*
76
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:37,651
* Well, I'm running
77
00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,820
* Police on my back
78
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:40,654
* I've been hiding
79
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,423
* Police on my back
80
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,558
* There was a shooting
81
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,260
* Police on my back
82
00:03:46,294 --> 00:03:47,528
* And the victim
83
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:49,363
* Well, he won't come back
84
00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:51,499
What you
doing, kid?!
85
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:52,833
* Tuesday, Wednesday
86
00:03:52,866 --> 00:03:55,836
* Thursday, Friday,
Saturday, Sunday *
87
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,939
ADULT SHELDON:
Enjoy this. It is, by far,
88
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:01,975
the most athletic two minutes
of my entire life.
89
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:03,944
* What have I done?
90
00:04:05,012 --> 00:04:08,349
* What have I done?
91
00:04:09,517 --> 00:04:11,319
It's not funny.
92
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:12,486
Oh, come on, now.
93
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:15,489
Sheldon in detention--
that's funny.
94
00:04:15,523 --> 00:04:17,591
I actually think
it'd be good for him.
95
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,493
He needs to learn
he's not special.
96
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,562
But he is special.
97
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,364
You know what I mean.
He can't just
98
00:04:23,397 --> 00:04:25,466
walk out of a classroom
'cause he feels like it.
99
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:27,000
He was worried
about catching a cold.
100
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,802
That is a legitimate concern.
101
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:30,871
And now he's in danger
of being mugged
102
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:33,341
by a roomful of hoodlums.
103
00:04:33,374 --> 00:04:35,343
He's not getting mugged.
104
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:36,744
It's half a dozen kids
doing homework
105
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:37,945
while a teacher watches 'em.
106
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:40,714
Although it might not hurt
to give Sheldon a few dollars
107
00:04:40,748 --> 00:04:42,816
to buy himself
some protection.
108
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,653
That's actually not a bad idea.
109
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:54,395
What are you doing?
110
00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,929
Nothing.
111
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,998
Is that
chewing tobacco?
112
00:04:58,031 --> 00:05:00,634
It's chocolate Bazooka.
What do you want?
113
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,636
I have detention tomorrow,
114
00:05:02,670 --> 00:05:04,738
and I thought you could
give me some tips.
115
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:07,341
That was pretty badass, you
walking out of class like that.
116
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:10,844
It was not my intention to be
bad "A" word, but thank you.
117
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:13,647
The only thing you need
to worry about in detention
118
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,683
is staying close
to the teacher.
119
00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:18,118
If he leaves the room,
you go with him.
120
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,587
Why?
121
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,955
'Cause you're gonna
get your "A" word kicked.
122
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:25,526
Are you saying I'll be
in physical danger?
123
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,127
It's all the worst kids
in school
124
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,796
in one room for an hour.
125
00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:31,098
What do you think's
gonna happen?
126
00:05:31,131 --> 00:05:33,634
I thought we were gonna spend
the time regretting our actions
127
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,670
and thinking about how we could
be better in the future.
128
00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:38,839
Well, you thought wrong.
Get lost.
129
00:05:38,872 --> 00:05:41,942
You're both mean
and nice to me.
130
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,911
It's confusing.
131
00:05:52,152 --> 00:05:54,588
Maybe I'm doing this wrong.
132
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:02,430
Have you ever been in detention?
133
00:06:02,463 --> 00:06:03,497
No.
134
00:06:03,531 --> 00:06:05,499
But I do take
the school bus.
135
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,535
And that is no party.
136
00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:10,137
It's like a mental hospital
on wheels.
137
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:12,873
That's a good use of simile.
138
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:13,841
Thanks.
139
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,776
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
140
00:06:19,447 --> 00:06:20,981
I hope.
141
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:35,162
Hello. I'm here
for detention.
142
00:06:35,195 --> 00:06:37,431
Where is the teacher?
143
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:40,901
Not here yet.
144
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:42,536
Oh.
145
00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:48,876
I have three dollars.
146
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:50,811
Feel free to share it
with the others.
147
00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:02,089
Would you prefer
a piece of paper?
148
00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:04,057
I have some
in my briefcase.
149
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,928
It's here
if you change your mind.
150
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,863
All right, losers,
you know how this works.
151
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:12,199
One hour, no talking,
no horseplay.
152
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,634
Sheldon?
153
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,202
Hello, Mr. Givens.
154
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:16,269
Why are you here?
155
00:07:16,303 --> 00:07:18,872
I didn't want to catch a cold
from Ms. MacElroy,
156
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:21,642
so I left her classroom
without a hall pass.
157
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:23,844
Well, something is going around.
158
00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:26,113
I actually had a little tickle
in my throat.
159
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,949
Okay, time to go.
Nice meeting you.
160
00:07:28,982 --> 00:07:30,518
Whoa, what
161
00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,219
You've heard of
fight or flight?
162
00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:33,954
This is flight.
163
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,991
Not so funny
now, is it?
164
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:40,160
No. How long
is he suspended for?
165
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,028
A week.
166
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,731
And it goes on
his permanent record.
167
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:44,998
Well, that's
no big deal.
168
00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:48,636
I had all kinds of stuff on my
permanent high school record.
169
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:52,072
Didn't stop me from being
a bartender for eight years.
170
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:55,242
I think the real issue we need
to deal with is his germ phobia.
171
00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,076
Oh, yes,
you don't
172
00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:57,878
want him turning
into Howard Hughes.
173
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,013
Growing his nails out.
174
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,314
Peeing in a jar.
175
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:04,852
Why would he pee into a jar?
I don't know why
he peed in a jar,
176
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,754
I just know he did.
177
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:08,589
I hate to say it,
178
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,558
but I think
we need help with this.
179
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:11,892
Like what?
Maybe we could
180
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:14,194
take him to that nice doctor
who calmed him down
181
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:16,864
when he was convinced
he had an enlarged prostate?
182
00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,599
Sheldon only calmed down
when the doctor told him
183
00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,634
what happens in a prostate exam.
184
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:21,935
Poor thing.
185
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:24,004
Still talks about it.
186
00:08:26,206 --> 00:08:28,041
Thank you for seeing us,
Doctor.
187
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,710
No problem.
188
00:08:29,743 --> 00:08:33,213
So, what do you got today,
Sheldon?
189
00:08:33,246 --> 00:08:35,649
Rickets?
Rabies?
190
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,651
Early
191
00:08:37,685 --> 00:08:39,219
Is he making a joke?
192
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,754
I believe so.
193
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:42,089
Humorous.
194
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,157
Hmm.
Sheldon's not sick,
195
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,027
but he has become overly
concerned with getting a cold
196
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,329
or the flu.
Well, any symptoms--
197
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,931
runny nose, achy,
198
00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:53,000
sore throat, fever?
No.
199
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,103
All right, well, Sheldon,
if you do catch a cold,
200
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:59,573
or even the flu, it's...
it's not the end of the world.
201
00:08:59,607 --> 00:09:02,876
The flu was the end of the world
for half a million Americans
202
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:05,145
during the influenza epidemic
of 1918.
203
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,247
Really?
In India
204
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:09,683
17 million people died.
205
00:09:09,717 --> 00:09:11,952
Okay, I think we're getting
off the subject. Doctor,
206
00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:13,654
Sheldon is afraid
to go to school
207
00:09:13,687 --> 00:09:14,855
because he might get exposed
208
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,591
to some kind of bacteria
or virus.
209
00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:19,359
So he's got a phobia?
210
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,729
It's not a phobia
if the threat is real.
211
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:24,798
You're a doctor,
you should know that.
212
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:27,868
Sheldon, you have
nothing to worry about.
213
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,837
Even if you did get the flu,
214
00:09:29,870 --> 00:09:31,304
it's usually over in a week.
215
00:09:31,338 --> 00:09:35,275
Why are we getting medical
advice from a man who smokes?
216
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,010
Sheldon.
O-Okay,
217
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,379
I have patients
who are actually sick.
218
00:09:39,412 --> 00:09:41,281
Maybe we should wrap this up.
219
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,884
How come you don't
get sick all the time?
220
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,318
Well, I take precautions.
221
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:49,256
I wash my hands,
I wear gloves and a mask.
222
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,602
So, Mom, how was your day?
223
00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:06,807
We're ignoring this?
224
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,942
Okay.
225
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,220
So pretty.
226
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:21,955
What's going on?
227
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:24,357
I'm not feeling so good.
228
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,228
Biohazard! Biohazard!
229
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,064
Sucker.
230
00:10:31,098 --> 00:10:32,700
WOMAN :
In national news,
231
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:36,704
an unusually early flu season
is buffeting the country.
232
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:39,973
Doctors say the strain,
originating in China,
233
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:42,209
is particularly severe.
234
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:46,880
Children and the elderly
are most at risk.
235
00:10:46,914 --> 00:10:49,116
Sheldon, why are
you still up?
236
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,118
We're all gonna die!
237
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,686
...about the local cattle...
238
00:10:52,720 --> 00:10:53,754
This isn't funny!
239
00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:55,723
I know, baby, I know.
240
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:59,693
But you need to
understand that sometimes
241
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:02,295
the news says those things
just to scare people.
242
00:11:02,329 --> 00:11:03,831
Well, it's working!
243
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,132
Come here.
244
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,900
I know you don't
believe in this,
245
00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:08,702
but I'm gonna
do it anyway.
246
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:13,106
Lord, I pray for
my son Sheldon
247
00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:15,943
that you protect him from
all illness and disease,
248
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,445
and keep him healthy
and keep him safe,
249
00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:21,849
and protect him from
his head to his toes,
250
00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:24,684
inside and out. Amen.
251
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:29,056
You're right.
I don't believe in that.
252
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:34,361
But it did feel good. Thanks.
253
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:38,065
In the Bible, that's called
a hedge of protection.
254
00:11:39,867 --> 00:11:41,935
Why do you keep smiling?
255
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:45,939
You need to look
at your mask, baby.
256
00:11:47,207 --> 00:11:50,310
SHELDON:
Missy?!
257
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,848
We have to go to school,
and Sheldon doesn't?
258
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,083
That's not fair.
Sure it is.
259
00:11:56,116 --> 00:11:58,085
Sheldon loves school
and can't go.
260
00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,320
You hate school
and have to. Fair.
261
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,222
GEORGE SR.:
He still has
262
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:03,891
to spend his day doing chores.
263
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:06,026
Can't sit around
playing with his trains.
264
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,095
Yeah, put him to work.
Good parenting, Dad.
265
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,897
Oh, I'm glad you approve.
266
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,832
I do.
267
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,901
Where you going?
268
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,903
I'm gonna give Sheldon
a list of chores.
269
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:17,805
You're actually
taking my advice?
270
00:12:17,838 --> 00:12:19,006
Yes.
271
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:20,140
Well, how about that?
272
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:23,510
Hey, you were due.
273
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,480
Proud of you, George.
274
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,190
Sheldon?
275
00:12:37,224 --> 00:12:38,391
Yes.
276
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:41,361
The door's locked.
Can you open it?
277
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:43,496
No.
278
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:46,166
What on earth?
279
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:58,045
Hello.
What are you doing?
280
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:01,148
I made a real germ-proof
hedge of protection.
281
00:13:01,181 --> 00:13:03,884
Oh, honey,
you can't stay in there.
282
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:07,154
I've got a refrigerator,
I've got my sleeping bag,
283
00:13:07,187 --> 00:13:09,589
and anything else I need
I can make out of Legos.
284
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:12,826
What's with
the Halloween costume?
285
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,831
In case of a breach.
286
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:21,034
Stay right there.
287
00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:22,469
That's my plan.
288
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,471
George?
289
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:30,911
Just when you think
he's gonna zig,
290
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:32,412
you get
a big old zag.
291
00:13:32,445 --> 00:13:34,347
It's ridiculous. I'm...
I'm gonna take it down.
292
00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,616
No, you can't force him out
of a phobia.
293
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,018
What do we do?
294
00:13:38,051 --> 00:13:39,252
He can't live
in there.
295
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:40,287
Well, actually, he can.
296
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:42,489
He's got the refrigerator
and a sleeping bag.
297
00:13:42,522 --> 00:13:45,092
And he can always
go potty in the sink.
298
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:48,361
I think I'll take
the kids to school.
299
00:13:48,395 --> 00:13:50,430
I'm sure he'll be out
by the time you get home.
300
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:53,133
Not sure why you
think that, but okay.
301
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:55,268
Mom?
Yes, Shelly.
302
00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:56,636
Can you close the door?
303
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,605
I need to use the sink.
304
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:07,047
Tammy Cook?
Here.
305
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:09,382
Georgie Cooper?
Here.
306
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:12,119
Sheldon Cooper? Absent.
307
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,221
Where's your brother?
Home.
308
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,655
Is he okay?
309
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:16,890
Yeah, he's just...
310
00:14:17,790 --> 00:14:20,660
Actually, it's not
looking good for him.
311
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,395
He might not make it.
312
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:25,198
Oh, that's terrible.
I know.
313
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,300
I love him so much.
314
00:14:27,334 --> 00:14:31,471
If anything ever happened,
I don't know what I'd do.
315
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,540
Aw.
316
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:41,148
MARY:
Shelly, if you don't mind
317
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:44,317
me asking, what's your
long
I'm working
318
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:46,153
on the math to turn the garage
319
00:14:46,186 --> 00:14:48,521
into a self-sustaining
ecosystem.
320
00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,024
Okay. And what exactly
does that mean?
Well, all I need
321
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,961
is sunlight and a few seeds
to grow unlimited food
322
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:56,663
which I'll fertilize
with my own feces.
323
00:14:56,696 --> 00:14:58,665
:
This just gets better.
324
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:01,034
If you're not gonna
help, please go inside.
325
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,469
This is not a show.
326
00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,938
Now that's where I disagree.
327
00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:08,241
Shelly, baby,
please come on out.
328
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,943
I can't.
329
00:15:09,977 --> 00:15:11,444
Come on.
I'm your mommy.
330
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,213
Do it for your mommy.
331
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:14,514
No.
332
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:16,683
But I'm your mommy.
333
00:15:16,716 --> 00:15:19,052
:
Y'all are killing me.
334
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:23,090
:
"I'm your mommy."
335
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:27,560
I think the saddest part
about it is just how sad it is.
336
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,963
Is there anything
that we can do?
337
00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,965
I don't know.
338
00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,666
A hug might help.
339
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:35,668
Of course.
340
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,371
What's wrong
with you two?
341
00:15:38,405 --> 00:15:40,273
Don't you care
about my brother?
342
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:48,215
Aw.
343
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:51,718
:
Oh, Sheldon.
344
00:15:51,751 --> 00:15:53,686
That's it. I've had
enough of this nonsense.
345
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,289
If you don't come out,
I'm coming in!
346
00:15:56,323 --> 00:15:59,092
One, two,
347
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:00,760
three.
Breach! Breach!
348
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:04,664
You come here
right this instant!
No.
349
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:05,732
Oh!
350
00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:09,536
* That's great, it starts
with an earthquake *
351
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,338
Sheldon!
* Birds and snakes
and aeroplanes... *
352
00:16:11,371 --> 00:16:14,007
You can't run away
from me forever.
353
00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:17,144
I don't have to do it forever.
Just till you get tired.
354
00:16:17,177 --> 00:16:18,411
MEEMAW:
Mary,
355
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,080
I'm gonna run
and go get my video camera.
356
00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,381
Don't catch him till I get back.
357
00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,016
This is not a joke!
358
00:16:23,050 --> 00:16:24,551
Sheldon, get over here!
359
00:16:24,584 --> 00:16:26,586
* It's the end of the world
360
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:29,389
* As we know it
Get over here.
361
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:32,059
Sheldon Lee Cooper, get here.
362
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:33,493
Right now.
363
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:36,696
Oh, Lord, I think
I'm gonna wet myself.
364
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,299
Get! You come here!
Sheldon Lee Cooper!
365
00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:41,668
* I feel fine.
366
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:48,075
Look at that.
367
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:49,709
St. Mary drinking alcohol.
368
00:16:49,742 --> 00:16:53,213
God saw what just happened.
He gets it.
369
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:56,749
Mind if I take a crack
at catching the Road Runner?
370
00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:59,186
What are you gonna do
that I couldn't do?
371
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:00,487
Oh, a little trick I learned
372
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,589
trying to get prairie dogs
out of the hole.
373
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:06,359
Of course we'd whack off
their heads with a golf club.
374
00:17:06,393 --> 00:17:09,162
I'm not gonna do that
to Sheldon.
375
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:13,400
:
Oh, Moon Pie,
376
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:17,170
I've got a little treat for you.
377
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,172
Chocolate chip?
378
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:21,441
Mm-hmm, right out of the oven.
379
00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:24,077
Good. That means
they're sterile.
380
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:28,115
Why don't you come on out here
and... have a couple?
381
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,283
I can't do that.
382
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:31,751
Okay, I tell you what.
383
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,254
I'm gonna just put 'em
right out here,
384
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:37,590
and you can come out
and get one when you're ready.
385
00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:40,427
How about that?
I'm gonna put 'em down
386
00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:43,196
right... here.
387
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,468
Aah!
388
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,070
Come on! Oh.
389
00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,242
Listen to me, buster.
390
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,776
Okay.
You are
391
00:17:56,809 --> 00:17:58,411
a lot of things, Sheldon.
392
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:02,115
You are cute, smart, hygienic.
393
00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:07,720
But most of all...
394
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:11,758
you... are a Texan.
395
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,193
So?
396
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:14,461
So Texans
397
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:17,197
aren't afraid of nothin'!
398
00:18:17,230 --> 00:18:19,366
Rattlesnakes, Indians,
399
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:23,170
the Mexican Army.
400
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:28,475
Do you imagine that Sam Houston
was scared of a little old cold?
401
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:29,809
No.
402
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,778
Jim Bowie?
403
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:33,213
No.
404
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:36,616
Sissy Spacek?
405
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,285
I... guess not?
406
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:40,653
You're damn right,
because they're Texans
407
00:18:40,687 --> 00:18:42,355
through and through.
408
00:18:42,389 --> 00:18:45,158
Now I want you to quit hiding
in this plastic bubble,
409
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:47,160
and I want you to
come out here and
410
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:50,363
eat your cookies
out in the world like a man!
411
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,731
Like a Texan man!
412
00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:15,488
I'm impressed.
413
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:16,889
Me, too.
414
00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:19,659
I thought I'd lost him
at Sissy Spacek.
415
00:19:19,692 --> 00:19:22,729
Whew!
416
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:28,167
ADULT SHELDON:
As you can see,
417
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,770
my meemaw successfully
lured me back into the world
418
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:34,807
by reminding me
of my brave Texas ancestors.
419
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:37,277
Their blood ran
through my veins.
420
00:19:37,310 --> 00:19:41,314
I was a true son
of the Lone Star State.
421
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:42,849
Albeit a true son
422
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:45,585
with an incredibly fragile
immune system.
423
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:49,589
I woke up the next morning
with a temperature of 102
424
00:19:49,622 --> 00:19:51,958
and a head packed full
of mucus.
425
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:55,862
However, there was
a silver lining.
426
00:19:55,895 --> 00:20:00,667
* Soft kitty, warm kitty
427
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,835
* Little ball of fur
428
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:07,674
* Happy kitty, sleepy kitty
429
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,842
* Purr, purr, purr.
430
00:20:09,876 --> 00:20:11,844
Sing it again, Mom.
431
00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,480
First, blow your nose.
432
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:19,752
* Soft kitty, warm kitty
433
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:22,855
* Little ball of fur
434
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:26,693
* Happy kitty, sleepy kitty
435
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,662
* Purr, purr, purr.
29928
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