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1
00:00:01,533 --> 00:00:03,978
? Well, we're movin' on up ?
? Movin' on up ?
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,245
? To the East Side ?
? Movin' on up ?
3
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:11,048
? To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ?
4
00:00:11,068 --> 00:00:14,014
? Movin' on up ?
? Movin' on up ?
5
00:00:14,035 --> 00:00:16,880
? To the East Side ?
? Movin' on up ?
6
00:00:16,902 --> 00:00:20,570
? We finally got A
piece of the pie ?
7
00:00:22,036 --> 00:00:25,548
? Fish don't fry
In the kitchen ?
8
00:00:25,569 --> 00:00:27,814
? Beans don't
burn On the grill ?
9
00:00:27,836 --> 00:00:30,315
? Took a whole lot of tryin' ?
10
00:00:30,337 --> 00:00:33,482
? Just to get up that hill ?
11
00:00:33,503 --> 00:00:35,715
? Now we're up
In the big leagues ?
12
00:00:35,737 --> 00:00:38,482
? Gettin' our turn at bat ?
13
00:00:38,504 --> 00:00:40,883
? As long as we live
It's you and me, baby ?
14
00:00:40,905 --> 00:00:42,849
? There ain't nothin'
Wrong with that ?
15
00:00:42,871 --> 00:00:45,350
? Well, we're movin' on up ?
? Movin' on up ?
16
00:00:45,372 --> 00:00:47,884
? To the East Side ?
? Movin' on up ?
17
00:00:47,906 --> 00:00:52,586
? To a deluxe
apartment In the sky ?
18
00:00:52,605 --> 00:00:55,885
? Movin' on up ?
? Movin' on up ?
19
00:00:55,907 --> 00:00:58,386
? To the East Side ?
? Movin' on up ?
20
00:00:58,407 --> 00:01:05,912
? We've finally got
A piece of the pie ?
21
00:01:07,871 --> 00:01:13,945
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22
00:01:15,143 --> 00:01:17,454
Hey, hey, hey, Weezy!
23
00:01:17,476 --> 00:01:18,508
Mwah!
24
00:01:20,209 --> 00:01:22,587
How was everything
down in Charlie's Bar?
25
00:01:22,609 --> 00:01:24,988
Who told you I was
in Charlie's Bar?
26
00:01:25,010 --> 00:01:27,322
You did, the minute you said,
27
00:01:27,344 --> 00:01:29,710
[BREATHES HARD] "Hey, Weezy!"
28
00:01:31,312 --> 00:01:33,056
You'll never guess
what I picked up today.
29
00:01:33,078 --> 00:01:35,323
If it's catching,
don't bring it in here.
30
00:01:35,345 --> 00:01:37,689
It's a riddle I
can win bets with.
31
00:01:37,711 --> 00:01:39,689
It cost me a buck,
but it was worth it.
32
00:01:39,711 --> 00:01:41,290
See if you can
figure this one out:
33
00:01:41,313 --> 00:01:44,091
Now, these two dudes live
next door to each other, see.
34
00:01:44,113 --> 00:01:45,424
Now one dude raises chickens
35
00:01:45,446 --> 00:01:46,689
and the other dude
hates chickens.
36
00:01:46,712 --> 00:01:47,756
What kind of chickens?
37
00:01:47,779 --> 00:01:49,446
Leghorns or Rhode Island Reds?
38
00:01:51,180 --> 00:01:52,958
What difference does that make?
39
00:01:52,981 --> 00:01:54,225
Lots.
40
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,659
My mother used to say
Rhode Island Reds were fatter
41
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:59,394
because they didn't have to
walk as far to get to New York.
42
00:01:59,415 --> 00:02:00,647
[LAUGHS]
43
00:02:06,882 --> 00:02:09,295
That was one of our
family jokes, George.
44
00:02:09,317 --> 00:02:10,460
Mother used to say...
45
00:02:10,483 --> 00:02:12,494
Look, you gonna let me
finish my riddle or not?
46
00:02:12,516 --> 00:02:14,261
I'm listening, aren't I?
47
00:02:14,283 --> 00:02:16,795
Well, try listening
with your mouth closed.
48
00:02:16,817 --> 00:02:19,029
Okay, now. So one day,
49
00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:21,029
this rooster breaks over
into the yard of the guy
50
00:02:21,051 --> 00:02:22,761
who hates chickens
and lays an egg.
51
00:02:22,784 --> 00:02:25,263
What color was the
egg? White or brown?
52
00:02:25,285 --> 00:02:27,263
What difference does the
color make, white or brown?
53
00:02:27,285 --> 00:02:28,930
One color's just as
good as the other.
54
00:02:28,952 --> 00:02:33,020
Just remember that the next
time the Willises come down.
55
00:02:35,153 --> 00:02:38,098
Weezy. I'm sorry, George.
56
00:02:38,119 --> 00:02:39,931
I'm just trying
to get the facts.
57
00:02:39,954 --> 00:02:41,597
I'm giving you all
the facts you need!
58
00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:44,098
Now... even though
he don't raise chickens,
59
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,132
the chicken-hater
claims that the egg is his
60
00:02:46,154 --> 00:02:47,564
because it's laid in his yard.
61
00:02:47,587 --> 00:02:51,489
Now the big question
is, who owns the egg?
62
00:02:53,355 --> 00:02:55,733
Would you repeat that?
63
00:02:55,755 --> 00:02:57,433
I ain't telling it again!
64
00:02:57,456 --> 00:03:00,035
All right.
65
00:03:00,056 --> 00:03:03,135
Uh... the man who
raises the chickens.
66
00:03:03,157 --> 00:03:05,001
Wrong. There ain't no egg.
67
00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:06,267
But you said...
68
00:03:06,290 --> 00:03:08,402
I said a rooster
went into the yard.
69
00:03:08,424 --> 00:03:09,901
Roosters don't lay eggs!
70
00:03:09,924 --> 00:03:11,790
[LAUGHS]
71
00:03:20,159 --> 00:03:22,637
If you paid a
dollar for that riddle,
72
00:03:22,659 --> 00:03:25,939
then you just laid an egg.
73
00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:27,337
Oh, yeah? Well,
you didn't get it.
74
00:03:27,359 --> 00:03:29,037
And neither will
Florence. Watch.
75
00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:31,838
Careful, George. She
won all the other bets.
76
00:03:31,860 --> 00:03:33,438
Oh, that's 'cause she's
just lucky, that's all.
77
00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:34,703
This time I'm gonna nail her.
78
00:03:34,726 --> 00:03:36,738
[LAUGHS]
79
00:03:36,760 --> 00:03:38,838
Hey, hey, Florence! Hi.
80
00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:40,204
Mmmm-mm!
81
00:03:40,227 --> 00:03:42,139
Dinner sure smells good.
82
00:03:42,162 --> 00:03:45,229
It'll smell even better
after I start cooking it.
83
00:03:46,995 --> 00:03:49,206
All you smell so
far is raw potatoes.
84
00:03:49,228 --> 00:03:50,205
Ah. Well, I never smelled
85
00:03:50,229 --> 00:03:52,541
raw potatoes that
smelled better.
86
00:03:52,562 --> 00:03:54,240
What you up to?
87
00:03:54,263 --> 00:03:56,607
Nothing. I just came
to see how you were.
88
00:03:56,629 --> 00:03:59,075
Oh, by the way...
89
00:03:59,097 --> 00:04:00,507
I heard a good riddle today.
90
00:04:00,530 --> 00:04:02,042
You'll never get this one.
91
00:04:02,064 --> 00:04:03,107
I bet you I can.
92
00:04:03,130 --> 00:04:05,375
Okay. Five bucks says you won't.
93
00:04:05,397 --> 00:04:07,309
Five bucks? Ain't
that a little high?
94
00:04:07,332 --> 00:04:08,809
What, are you scared?
95
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:12,232
Not as long as I'm still
playing with your money, I ain't.
96
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,044
You got yourself a bet.
97
00:04:16,066 --> 00:04:18,945
Okay. Now... [CLEARS THROAT]
98
00:04:18,966 --> 00:04:20,944
these two dudes live next
door to each other, see.
99
00:04:20,967 --> 00:04:22,744
Now one raises chickens,
the other one hates chickens.
100
00:04:22,766 --> 00:04:24,344
One day a rooster
breaks into the yard
101
00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:26,545
of the guy who hates
chickens and lays an egg.
102
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,545
The guy who hates
chickens claims the egg is his
103
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:29,945
because it was laid in his yard.
104
00:04:29,968 --> 00:04:31,478
Now the big question is...
105
00:04:31,501 --> 00:04:34,502
who owns the egg?
106
00:04:36,501 --> 00:04:38,512
That's a hard one.
107
00:04:38,534 --> 00:04:40,512
Yeah, I don't know
whose egg that is.
108
00:04:40,535 --> 00:04:42,080
[LAUGHS]
109
00:04:42,102 --> 00:04:43,279
Tough toenails.
110
00:04:43,302 --> 00:04:44,879
Because where I come from,
111
00:04:44,902 --> 00:04:47,803
roosters don't lay no eggs.
112
00:04:53,237 --> 00:04:54,237
Lord!
113
00:04:58,838 --> 00:05:01,683
Oh, woman, you ain't so slick.
114
00:05:01,704 --> 00:05:04,583
Well, at least you
stumped me, George.
115
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:05,983
One out of two ain't bad.
116
00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:08,583
That Florence has got
a personality problem.
117
00:05:08,605 --> 00:05:10,485
No wonder people don't like her.
118
00:05:12,106 --> 00:05:13,216
What people?
119
00:05:13,239 --> 00:05:15,318
Me.
120
00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:19,353
Oh, George, you're impossible.
I'm going up to see Helen.
121
00:05:19,374 --> 00:05:21,552
Oh, Florence, you can
put the dinner on now.
122
00:05:21,574 --> 00:05:23,385
I'll be back in a
couple of minutes.
123
00:05:23,407 --> 00:05:24,517
FLORENCE: Okay.
124
00:05:24,540 --> 00:05:26,118
Why do you have to go out now?
125
00:05:26,141 --> 00:05:28,608
I hate hanging around a loser.
126
00:05:30,908 --> 00:05:31,919
[GROANS]
127
00:05:31,942 --> 00:05:34,087
So long, Pop. Wait
a minute, Lionel.
128
00:05:34,109 --> 00:05:35,686
What's the big hurry?
129
00:05:35,708 --> 00:05:37,886
I'm having dinner with
some of the guys I work with.
130
00:05:37,909 --> 00:05:39,620
Oh. Nice bunch of dudes, huh?
131
00:05:39,642 --> 00:05:41,921
Oh, the best, Pop,
and really bright too.
132
00:05:41,943 --> 00:05:44,956
Phi Beta Kappa, Ph.D...
Hey, I'd like to meet 'em.
133
00:05:44,977 --> 00:05:47,155
Why don't you ask 'em up
here for a drink sometime?
134
00:05:47,177 --> 00:05:48,620
I will.
135
00:05:48,643 --> 00:05:49,720
Okay. How about tonight?
136
00:05:49,743 --> 00:05:51,855
Um... not tonight, Pop,
137
00:05:51,877 --> 00:05:54,556
but, uh, maybe some
other time, okay?
138
00:05:54,578 --> 00:05:57,090
Yeah. Yeah, okay.
139
00:05:57,112 --> 00:05:58,289
Need any bucks?
140
00:05:58,312 --> 00:06:01,191
Um... Pop, I'm working
now, remember?
141
00:06:01,212 --> 00:06:02,722
Then how about
lending me a couple?
142
00:06:02,745 --> 00:06:04,190
[LAUGHS]
143
00:06:04,213 --> 00:06:05,723
Oh, uh, one more thing, Lionel.
144
00:06:05,745 --> 00:06:06,756
What is it, Pop?
145
00:06:06,779 --> 00:06:08,123
I just want to tell you
146
00:06:08,146 --> 00:06:09,523
how I'm really
proud of you, son.
147
00:06:09,546 --> 00:06:10,991
I mean, the way
you're hanging around
148
00:06:11,014 --> 00:06:12,158
with all these heavy dudes,
149
00:06:12,181 --> 00:06:13,558
and I never even
went to college.
150
00:06:13,580 --> 00:06:14,924
I know, Pop.
151
00:06:14,947 --> 00:06:17,025
Matter of fact, I dropped
out of high school...
152
00:06:17,047 --> 00:06:18,524
Pop, I've really gotta go now.
153
00:06:18,547 --> 00:06:20,326
Oh, yeah. Don't
forget. If it wasn't for me,
154
00:06:20,349 --> 00:06:22,160
you wouldn't have that
great head on your shoulders.
155
00:06:22,182 --> 00:06:24,827
Um, didn't Mom have
a little to do with that?
156
00:06:24,849 --> 00:06:26,693
No. 'Cause I'm the
one that had to do
157
00:06:26,715 --> 00:06:27,926
the punishing when you was bad.
158
00:06:27,949 --> 00:06:29,526
And I never hit you in the head.
159
00:06:29,549 --> 00:06:31,794
Only on the behind.
160
00:06:31,816 --> 00:06:33,383
All right!
161
00:06:36,549 --> 00:06:38,361
Got any more
riddles, Mr. Jefferson?
162
00:06:38,384 --> 00:06:39,761
Oh, you just lucky, that's all.
163
00:06:39,784 --> 00:06:42,029
No, I ain't. I knew the
answer all the time.
164
00:06:42,051 --> 00:06:43,162
How?
165
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:44,795
It was printed on my
bubble gum wrapper!
166
00:06:44,817 --> 00:06:45,916
[LAUGHS]
167
00:06:47,318 --> 00:06:48,562
[DOORBELL RINGS]
168
00:06:48,585 --> 00:06:51,086
You see that? You cheated!
169
00:06:53,019 --> 00:06:54,763
Ah, Mr. Jefferson,
I was wondering
170
00:06:54,786 --> 00:06:56,564
if you could cash a
small check for me.
171
00:06:56,586 --> 00:06:58,819
Not now, Bentley. I'm busy.
172
00:07:01,752 --> 00:07:03,130
But I'll have everything
173
00:07:03,153 --> 00:07:04,164
straightened out in a minute,
174
00:07:04,187 --> 00:07:05,464
and then I'll cash your check.
175
00:07:05,487 --> 00:07:06,530
Ah.
176
00:07:06,553 --> 00:07:08,531
Uh... do you have a good watch?
177
00:07:08,554 --> 00:07:10,621
For collateral? No, no.
178
00:07:11,955 --> 00:07:14,800
In 60 seconds,
exactly 60 seconds,
179
00:07:14,821 --> 00:07:16,532
ring the doorbell, okay?
180
00:07:16,555 --> 00:07:18,067
Roger.
181
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:21,001
But, uh... would it be
presumptuous of me to inquire why?
182
00:07:21,023 --> 00:07:22,023
Start counting.
183
00:07:23,190 --> 00:07:25,969
[WHISTLING]
184
00:07:25,990 --> 00:07:29,802
? Oh, Florence, my dear ?
185
00:07:29,823 --> 00:07:30,834
Yeah?
186
00:07:30,857 --> 00:07:32,601
Oh, Florence,
187
00:07:32,624 --> 00:07:34,002
I just wanted to
apologize to you.
188
00:07:34,024 --> 00:07:35,601
Is this for something you did
189
00:07:35,624 --> 00:07:38,236
or something you're gonna do?
190
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:39,569
No, no, honest.
191
00:07:39,591 --> 00:07:42,036
Look, I've been under
a lot of stress lately,
192
00:07:42,058 --> 00:07:43,635
but I shouldn't
take it out on you.
193
00:07:43,658 --> 00:07:45,103
That's right. You
sure shouldn't.
194
00:07:45,126 --> 00:07:46,503
So, I'm sorry.
195
00:07:46,525 --> 00:07:49,737
You know... I admire you.
196
00:07:49,759 --> 00:07:51,226
Watch yourself!
197
00:07:54,127 --> 00:07:55,504
Not that way.
198
00:07:55,527 --> 00:07:56,938
I mean, because you're so lucky.
199
00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,171
I have never in my life
200
00:07:58,194 --> 00:08:01,340
seen anybody with so
much pure luck as you.
201
00:08:01,361 --> 00:08:03,973
I bet you could close your eyes
right now and think real hard,
202
00:08:03,995 --> 00:08:05,339
and guess who's gonna be
203
00:08:05,362 --> 00:08:07,406
the next person to
come in through that door.
204
00:08:07,428 --> 00:08:09,440
I don't know. I guess I could.
205
00:08:09,462 --> 00:08:11,473
I got as good a chance
as anybody else.
206
00:08:11,496 --> 00:08:13,976
Better, 'cause
you so lucky. Huh.
207
00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:16,107
Hey, wanna try?
208
00:08:16,130 --> 00:08:18,976
You mean, bet on who's the next
one to come through that door?
209
00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:21,575
Yeah. For 10 bucks.
210
00:08:21,597 --> 00:08:23,675
And I get to pick
first? Anybody I want?
211
00:08:23,697 --> 00:08:25,541
Whoever you want.
212
00:08:25,563 --> 00:08:27,075
All right, in that case...
213
00:08:27,098 --> 00:08:28,075
I pick Mrs. Jefferson.
214
00:08:28,098 --> 00:08:29,208
[LAUGHS]
215
00:08:29,231 --> 00:08:31,209
You sure was dumb
to let me pick first.
216
00:08:31,231 --> 00:08:34,477
I heard Mrs. Jefferson say she'd
be back in a couple of minutes.
217
00:08:34,499 --> 00:08:35,698
Damn!
218
00:08:37,099 --> 00:08:38,876
What, me and my big mouth!
219
00:08:38,899 --> 00:08:40,410
Oh, the bet's off. Uh-uh, honey.
220
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:42,543
A bet's a bet.
221
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:45,044
Well... since I'm
gonna lose anyway,
222
00:08:45,066 --> 00:08:46,610
it don't matter who I pick.
223
00:08:46,633 --> 00:08:49,379
So I'll pick, uh... Bentley.
224
00:08:49,401 --> 00:08:51,834
[DOORBELL RINGS]
225
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:55,666
Oh, hello.
226
00:08:58,402 --> 00:08:59,712
How are you, Mr. Bentley?
227
00:08:59,735 --> 00:09:01,813
Just fine, Mrs. J. After you.
228
00:09:01,835 --> 00:09:03,115
Oh, thank you.
229
00:09:11,070 --> 00:09:12,990
Weezy, what you doing here?
230
00:09:14,836 --> 00:09:17,215
I live here, remember?
231
00:09:17,237 --> 00:09:19,557
Don't you ever do that again!
232
00:09:19,804 --> 00:09:21,904
Say goodbye.
233
00:09:23,805 --> 00:09:25,450
Harrumph.
234
00:09:25,472 --> 00:09:26,849
Uh, Mr. J, I rang the bell
235
00:09:26,872 --> 00:09:28,083
at 60 seconds on the nose.
236
00:09:28,106 --> 00:09:29,516
Now will you cash my check?
237
00:09:29,539 --> 00:09:30,649
It's only $20.
238
00:09:30,672 --> 00:09:32,650
Here. Thank you.
239
00:09:32,672 --> 00:09:34,050
Are you sure it's all right?
240
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:36,907
If I run short, I'll go to
Florence, the Bank of Harlem.
241
00:09:39,273 --> 00:09:40,851
Did you lose another
bet to Florence?
242
00:09:40,874 --> 00:09:42,251
I don't want to talk about that.
243
00:09:42,273 --> 00:09:43,517
Oh, well, never mind.
244
00:09:43,540 --> 00:09:45,651
Jenny gave me something
that will cheer you up.
245
00:09:45,673 --> 00:09:46,650
What's that?
246
00:09:46,674 --> 00:09:47,918
It's a little newsletter
247
00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:49,251
Lionel's company puts out.
248
00:09:49,274 --> 00:09:51,486
There's a story in it about
their new employees.
249
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:53,948
Look what they
said about Lionel.
250
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:56,453
Hey, hey, hey.
Ain't that something?
251
00:09:56,476 --> 00:09:57,453
"One of our brighter
252
00:09:57,476 --> 00:09:59,820
young engineers,
Lionel Jefferson."
253
00:09:59,842 --> 00:10:01,053
Imagine that, Weezy.
254
00:10:01,076 --> 00:10:03,754
Doesn't it make you feel proud?
255
00:10:03,776 --> 00:10:04,753
Yeah.
256
00:10:04,776 --> 00:10:05,920
"Jefferson's father is the
257
00:10:05,943 --> 00:10:08,089
"well-known businessman
George Jefferson,
258
00:10:08,111 --> 00:10:09,355
president of
Jefferson Cleaners."
259
00:10:09,378 --> 00:10:11,622
Hey, hey! He gave me
a little free advertising.
260
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:12,710
[LAUGHS]
261
00:10:14,045 --> 00:10:16,323
"Mr. Jefferson is a graduate
262
00:10:16,345 --> 00:10:17,822
[MISPRONOUNCES] cum laude
263
00:10:17,844 --> 00:10:19,211
of Harvard Business School."
264
00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:22,690
That ain't true. I
never went to college.
265
00:10:22,712 --> 00:10:25,024
Uh, let me see that.
I didn't read that far.
266
00:10:25,046 --> 00:10:26,223
[SIGHS]
267
00:10:26,246 --> 00:10:29,025
Oh, Weezy, why would
Lionel put me down like that?
268
00:10:29,047 --> 00:10:31,993
Saying you went to
Harvard is putting you down?
269
00:10:32,014 --> 00:10:33,391
He lied about me.
270
00:10:33,414 --> 00:10:35,492
Well, it's just a mistake.
271
00:10:35,514 --> 00:10:37,359
Lionel wouldn't
do a thing like that.
272
00:10:37,381 --> 00:10:40,593
Oh, no. Then how come he showed
it to Jenny and didn't show it to us?
273
00:10:40,615 --> 00:10:42,593
Well, he just happened
to show it to her first.
274
00:10:42,615 --> 00:10:44,093
I'm sure he was gonna... No, no.
275
00:10:44,115 --> 00:10:46,926
He was trying to hide it because
he didn't want me to read it.
276
00:10:46,948 --> 00:10:47,948
Why?
277
00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,260
Because if I read
it, I'd find out.
278
00:10:51,282 --> 00:10:53,560
Find out what?
279
00:10:53,582 --> 00:10:54,626
[SIGHS]
280
00:10:54,649 --> 00:10:55,860
Don't you get it, Weezy?
281
00:10:55,883 --> 00:10:58,783
My own son is ashamed of me.
282
00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:10,596
George, you're wrong.
Lionel's not ashamed of you.
283
00:11:10,617 --> 00:11:13,163
Yes, he is. Can't you read?
284
00:11:13,185 --> 00:11:15,430
He's ashamed 'cause his
father didn't go to college
285
00:11:15,452 --> 00:11:16,963
and get one of
them come, lordies.
286
00:11:16,986 --> 00:11:18,396
I wouldn't even know
287
00:11:18,419 --> 00:11:20,686
what a come, lordy
was if it bit me on the leg.
288
00:11:23,386 --> 00:11:24,730
It's cum laude, George,
289
00:11:24,753 --> 00:11:26,698
and I think it
means "with honors."
290
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:30,822
See? I'm so dumb I thought
Come, Lordy was a gospel song.
291
00:11:37,688 --> 00:11:40,667
George, you're not dumb.
292
00:11:40,688 --> 00:11:42,499
He don't even want
me to meet his buddies
293
00:11:42,522 --> 00:11:43,834
'cause he's afraid
I'll embarrass him.
294
00:11:43,856 --> 00:11:46,201
I take it back. You are dumb.
295
00:11:46,223 --> 00:11:47,800
Look, Weezy, I know
what he's thinking.
296
00:11:47,823 --> 00:11:49,467
He's moving in real
fancy company now.
297
00:11:49,489 --> 00:11:51,734
And if they find out his
father didn't go to college,
298
00:11:51,756 --> 00:11:52,766
they'll look down on him.
299
00:11:52,790 --> 00:11:54,869
That's why he ducked
out on me today.
300
00:11:54,891 --> 00:11:56,202
You're imagining things.
301
00:11:56,225 --> 00:11:58,536
What have you got
to be ashamed of?
302
00:11:58,558 --> 00:12:01,170
I keep telling you, I didn't
even finish high school.
303
00:12:01,191 --> 00:12:04,503
Only because you had to quit
school to support your mother.
304
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:05,902
Yeah.
305
00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:07,803
I bet you I could have
graduated high school.
306
00:12:07,825 --> 00:12:09,303
Sure you could.
307
00:12:09,326 --> 00:12:12,738
And if I had me for a father,
I'd have graduated college.
308
00:12:12,759 --> 00:12:14,670
That's right.
309
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:16,304
I'd have got me a come, lordy,
310
00:12:16,327 --> 00:12:18,894
a go, lordy, and a
come-back-again lordy.
311
00:12:24,928 --> 00:12:28,107
And, of course, you wouldn't
have gone around boasting about it.
312
00:12:28,128 --> 00:12:29,139
[CHUCKLES]
313
00:12:29,162 --> 00:12:31,006
No. Only to Lionel's friends.
314
00:12:31,028 --> 00:12:33,540
Trouble is, it's too
late for that now.
315
00:12:33,562 --> 00:12:36,007
There's no way I
can prove it to him.
316
00:12:36,029 --> 00:12:38,041
It wouldn't make any
difference to Lionel
317
00:12:38,063 --> 00:12:41,275
even if you got yourself a
high school diploma right now.
318
00:12:41,296 --> 00:12:43,441
Now that's ridiculous.
How am I gonna do that?
319
00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,241
You could take an
equivalency test.
320
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:46,574
A what?
321
00:12:46,597 --> 00:12:48,375
I was reading
about it in the paper.
322
00:12:48,397 --> 00:12:51,265
They've got tests for adults
who want to get their diplomas.
323
00:12:52,898 --> 00:12:55,409
Hey... that's it!
324
00:12:55,431 --> 00:12:56,508
That's what I'm gonna do.
325
00:12:56,531 --> 00:12:58,676
I'm gonna take the test. Oh.
326
00:12:58,698 --> 00:13:00,143
I'm gonna take the test!
327
00:13:00,166 --> 00:13:02,610
I'm gonna take the test, Weezy!
328
00:13:02,632 --> 00:13:05,812
Oh, boy, I should have
kept my big mouth shut.
329
00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:06,977
No, you shouldn't,
330
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,045
because once a year,
you say something smart.
331
00:13:09,067 --> 00:13:11,278
[LAUGHS]
332
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:14,779
You're not serious about taking
one of those tests, are you?
333
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,779
Sure I am. That way I can prove
to Lionel what I could've done.
334
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,212
Don't tell him I'm
taking the test.
335
00:13:19,235 --> 00:13:21,412
And don't you say
nothing about it neither.
336
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:24,948
That'll be easy, 'cause I don't
know what you talking about.
337
00:13:24,969 --> 00:13:27,180
Our George is gonna take a test
338
00:13:27,202 --> 00:13:28,379
for his high school diploma.
339
00:13:28,402 --> 00:13:30,669
Oh. And then he's gonna grow up?
340
00:13:34,903 --> 00:13:37,648
He's trying to prove
something to Lionel.
341
00:13:37,670 --> 00:13:39,181
Oh, he can't pass that test.
342
00:13:39,204 --> 00:13:40,882
It's tough enough,
even for folks who know
343
00:13:40,904 --> 00:13:44,217
the difference between
a hen and a rooster.
344
00:13:44,238 --> 00:13:46,216
Yeah. I could have got
me a high school diploma
345
00:13:46,239 --> 00:13:48,616
when I was a kid and
I can get me one now.
346
00:13:48,638 --> 00:13:49,682
Oh, yeah? You want to
347
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:51,951
put your money where
your brains is, honey?
348
00:13:51,973 --> 00:13:53,917
Twenty bucks says I can.
349
00:13:53,939 --> 00:13:55,116
Put up or shut up.
350
00:13:55,139 --> 00:13:57,084
This is one bet I
know I can't lose.
351
00:13:57,106 --> 00:13:58,116
You'll never learn.
352
00:13:58,139 --> 00:13:59,250
Who's gonna hold the bet?
353
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:00,917
Oh, I trust you.
354
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:03,886
Like I said, just put your
money where your brains is.
355
00:14:03,907 --> 00:14:05,206
In your back pocket.
356
00:14:25,277 --> 00:14:26,254
[CRACK]
357
00:14:26,277 --> 00:14:27,809
Weezy!
358
00:14:29,443 --> 00:14:30,721
Don't you know I'm over here
359
00:14:30,744 --> 00:14:32,588
beating my brains out
trying to learn this junk?
360
00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:34,155
Sure. What do you want?
361
00:14:34,178 --> 00:14:35,610
Stop cracking your knuckles!
362
00:14:41,678 --> 00:14:45,058
I'm not cracking my
knuckles. I'm cracking walnuts.
363
00:14:45,079 --> 00:14:46,256
Then don't.
364
00:14:46,279 --> 00:14:47,957
Well, how am I gonna eat them?
365
00:14:47,980 --> 00:14:51,982
If you loved me, you'd eat
'em with the shells on 'em.
366
00:14:53,113 --> 00:14:55,424
I'm sorry, George.
367
00:14:55,446 --> 00:14:56,623
Look, just hold it down, okay?
368
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,486
These math problems are murder.
369
00:15:00,081 --> 00:15:01,180
[SIGHS]
370
00:15:25,351 --> 00:15:26,351
[QUIET CRACK]
371
00:15:29,185 --> 00:15:31,163
What the hell was that?
372
00:15:31,185 --> 00:15:32,217
I beg your pardon?
373
00:15:33,385 --> 00:15:34,762
You cracking nuts again?
374
00:15:34,785 --> 00:15:38,732
Do I look like I'm
cracking nuts?
375
00:15:38,752 --> 00:15:40,763
Come over here and
help me crack this.
376
00:15:40,786 --> 00:15:42,319
Listen...
377
00:15:44,387 --> 00:15:45,497
[SIGHS]
378
00:15:45,520 --> 00:15:47,531
"If Jane bought three blouses
379
00:15:47,553 --> 00:15:48,530
"at $1.98 each,
380
00:15:48,553 --> 00:15:52,600
"which were on
sale at 30 percent off,
381
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:55,199
"and Sally spent twice as much
382
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:57,366
"buying five blouses
at their regular price,
383
00:15:57,388 --> 00:15:58,365
how much..."
384
00:15:58,388 --> 00:16:00,032
Don't ask me that, George.
385
00:16:00,055 --> 00:16:02,934
Those problems always gave me
a headache when I was in school.
386
00:16:02,955 --> 00:16:03,966
[DOORBELL RINGS]
387
00:16:03,989 --> 00:16:05,032
I'll get that.
388
00:16:05,056 --> 00:16:06,667
I don't want nobody
to see me studying.
389
00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:08,167
Whoever it is, get rid of 'em.
390
00:16:08,190 --> 00:16:09,689
And do it quietly!
391
00:16:17,391 --> 00:16:18,969
Hi, Louise. Hi, girl.
392
00:16:18,991 --> 00:16:20,668
Oh, hi, Tom, Helen.
393
00:16:20,691 --> 00:16:22,469
We're on our way to that
new Chinese restaurant,
394
00:16:22,491 --> 00:16:24,435
and we thought you
might like to join us.
395
00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:26,837
Well, uh... Is something wrong?
396
00:16:26,858 --> 00:16:28,135
It's George.
397
00:16:28,158 --> 00:16:29,702
What's he up to now?
398
00:16:29,725 --> 00:16:31,937
Uh, I can't tell you,
399
00:16:31,959 --> 00:16:33,270
but I think you'd better go.
400
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,370
Where is he?
401
00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:35,536
In the kitchen.
402
00:16:35,559 --> 00:16:36,536
What's he doing?
403
00:16:36,559 --> 00:16:39,172
Uh... cracking walnuts.
404
00:16:39,194 --> 00:16:40,872
That's a switch.
405
00:16:40,894 --> 00:16:43,814
I always thought George
was the nut who was cracked.
406
00:16:44,861 --> 00:16:46,172
That's not fair, Helen.
407
00:16:46,195 --> 00:16:49,074
George is doing something
that's very hard for him.
408
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:51,615
Doesn't he have a nutcracker?
409
00:16:54,896 --> 00:16:57,374
He's very touchy right now,
410
00:16:57,396 --> 00:17:01,209
and you know the effect you
two have on him sometimes.
411
00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:03,275
Okay, girl. We'll leave quietly.
412
00:17:03,297 --> 00:17:06,265
Oh, I knew you'd understand.
413
00:17:07,397 --> 00:17:08,741
Well, well!
414
00:17:08,764 --> 00:17:10,075
If it ain't the Willises!
415
00:17:10,098 --> 00:17:12,409
I thought I heard
you all out here.
416
00:17:12,431 --> 00:17:14,009
Well, don't just
stand there, Weezy.
417
00:17:14,031 --> 00:17:15,141
Invite our friends in.
418
00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:16,141
Huh?
419
00:17:16,164 --> 00:17:17,475
You know, it's a shame.
420
00:17:17,498 --> 00:17:19,209
You all live so close by,
421
00:17:19,232 --> 00:17:20,843
and we never hardly
ever see you all.
422
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:23,310
We're neighbors, and neighbors
are supposed to keep talking.
423
00:17:23,332 --> 00:17:25,310
Like, I was just telling
Weezy a few minutes ago,
424
00:17:25,332 --> 00:17:27,344
how come we don't see
more of Tom and Helen?
425
00:17:27,367 --> 00:17:28,632
Wasn't I, Weezy?
426
00:17:29,767 --> 00:17:31,767
Don't ask.
427
00:17:38,868 --> 00:17:40,634
Don't ask.
428
00:17:42,202 --> 00:17:44,213
Well, George,
what's on your mind?
429
00:17:44,235 --> 00:17:45,645
What do you want to talk about?
430
00:17:45,668 --> 00:17:47,881
Ah! It's strange
you should ask that.
431
00:17:47,903 --> 00:17:49,668
I was just thinking.
432
00:17:51,569 --> 00:17:52,546
If Jane bought three blouses
433
00:17:52,569 --> 00:17:58,118
at $1.98 each... Who's Jane?
434
00:17:58,137 --> 00:17:59,414
Did I say Jane?
435
00:17:59,437 --> 00:18:01,415
Oh, I didn't mean
Jane. I meant Weezy.
436
00:18:01,437 --> 00:18:04,405
Where'd you find
blouses for $1.98?
437
00:18:08,471 --> 00:18:11,284
I didn't buy any blouses.
George was just...
438
00:18:11,305 --> 00:18:12,682
Look, you stay
out of this, Weezy.
439
00:18:12,705 --> 00:18:14,250
This doesn't concern you.
440
00:18:14,273 --> 00:18:17,285
So, now, she bought
these blouses at $1.98 each,
441
00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:19,784
which were on sale
at 30 percent off.
442
00:18:19,806 --> 00:18:22,952
This is what you were
thinking about in the kitchen?
443
00:18:22,973 --> 00:18:24,617
Yeah. It's quieter in there.
444
00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,419
It would have to be.
445
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:28,885
Look, George... Hush up!
446
00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:31,652
Would you let me finish
telling you what I got to say?
447
00:18:31,674 --> 00:18:35,955
Anyway... Sally paid twice
as much for five blouses...
448
00:18:35,975 --> 00:18:37,174
Who's Sally?
449
00:18:39,109 --> 00:18:41,629
Sally, that's Weezy's sister.
450
00:18:43,342 --> 00:18:45,820
Girl, I didn't know you
had a sister named Sally.
451
00:18:45,842 --> 00:18:47,453
I don't.
452
00:18:47,476 --> 00:18:49,588
And where's this store
453
00:18:49,610 --> 00:18:53,023
that Jane's buying
blouses for $1.98?
454
00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:55,489
You mean Weezy. Well, whoever.
455
00:18:55,511 --> 00:18:56,821
Where's the store?
456
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:58,356
How should I know?
457
00:18:58,378 --> 00:19:00,778
I ain't the one
buying the blouses.
458
00:19:02,145 --> 00:19:05,324
George, they're entitled
to some answers.
459
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:06,856
I'm the one that
needs the answers!
460
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:09,191
All I got is questions!
461
00:19:09,213 --> 00:19:10,390
Why are you yelling at Louise?
462
00:19:10,413 --> 00:19:11,723
I think she's
perfectly wonderful,
463
00:19:11,746 --> 00:19:12,857
saving you money like that.
464
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,824
Look, if you're not
gonna cooperate,
465
00:19:14,846 --> 00:19:16,057
why did you come over here?
466
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:17,791
To invite you to dinner!
467
00:19:17,813 --> 00:19:18,924
See, that's your
trouble, Willis.
468
00:19:18,947 --> 00:19:20,324
You're always thinking
about your stomach.
469
00:19:20,347 --> 00:19:22,192
If there's two
things I can't stand,
470
00:19:22,215 --> 00:19:23,859
it's greedy, selfish neighbors.
471
00:19:23,881 --> 00:19:26,201
I think we'd better leave.
472
00:19:27,348 --> 00:19:29,927
Oh, hi, everybody.
What's happening?
473
00:19:29,949 --> 00:19:31,515
BOTH: Don't ask.
474
00:19:33,782 --> 00:19:36,262
I'll talk to you later.
475
00:19:37,149 --> 00:19:38,927
Where you going, Lionel?
476
00:19:38,950 --> 00:19:39,994
Oh, to the kitchen.
477
00:19:40,017 --> 00:19:41,627
Mom, is any of
that potato pie left?
478
00:19:41,650 --> 00:19:43,561
Don't go in the kitchen.
Your father's in there.
479
00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:46,462
Well, that's okay, Ma.
He can have some pie too.
480
00:19:46,483 --> 00:19:49,263
He's in there studying and
he doesn't want you to know.
481
00:19:49,285 --> 00:19:52,463
What's he studying? Playboy?
482
00:19:52,484 --> 00:19:55,163
He's studying for his
high school diploma.
483
00:19:55,185 --> 00:19:57,197
Pop? Why?
484
00:19:57,219 --> 00:19:59,463
Well, now, don't laugh.
485
00:19:59,485 --> 00:20:03,788
He's got the crazy notion
that you're ashamed of him.
486
00:20:05,253 --> 00:20:07,265
You're not laughing.
487
00:20:07,287 --> 00:20:08,998
You know, I don't
think I'm really hungry.
488
00:20:09,021 --> 00:20:10,698
Maybe I'll just catch
up on my books.
489
00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:12,664
Uh, Lionel.
490
00:20:12,686 --> 00:20:14,387
It is crazy, isn't it?
491
00:20:16,587 --> 00:20:17,932
No, it's not crazy.
492
00:20:17,955 --> 00:20:21,368
You're ashamed of your father?
493
00:20:21,389 --> 00:20:24,167
I'm ashamed of me.
494
00:20:24,188 --> 00:20:26,300
I guess you saw
the newsletter, huh?
495
00:20:26,323 --> 00:20:28,201
Yes. I borrowed it from Jenny.
496
00:20:28,223 --> 00:20:29,934
Oh.
497
00:20:29,956 --> 00:20:32,056
Ma...
498
00:20:33,723 --> 00:20:35,734
Ma, the reporter...
499
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:38,002
Well, the reporter
from the newsletter
500
00:20:38,024 --> 00:20:40,168
interviewed me along
with the other new guys
501
00:20:40,191 --> 00:20:41,769
at the same time.
502
00:20:41,791 --> 00:20:45,170
He asked them all what
colleges their dads went to.
503
00:20:45,191 --> 00:20:46,168
Well, Ma, they're all
504
00:20:46,191 --> 00:20:49,670
Phi Beta Kappas,
Ph.D.s, stuff like that.
505
00:20:49,691 --> 00:20:50,903
Well, so when he asked me
506
00:20:50,926 --> 00:20:55,472
where my father graduated,
then I told him Harvard.
507
00:20:55,492 --> 00:20:57,170
It just slipped out.
508
00:20:57,193 --> 00:21:00,072
And you lied just like that?
509
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:03,306
I told myself I was
doing it for Pop's sake.
510
00:21:03,327 --> 00:21:04,537
How?
511
00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:05,804
Well, you know.
512
00:21:05,827 --> 00:21:08,907
Making him look as
good as any of the others.
513
00:21:08,928 --> 00:21:10,772
Yeah, I know that
wasn't really it.
514
00:21:10,795 --> 00:21:12,706
I was doing it for my sake.
515
00:21:12,728 --> 00:21:14,439
For one split second,
516
00:21:14,462 --> 00:21:16,374
I was really ashamed of him.
517
00:21:16,396 --> 00:21:19,641
Just for one split second?
518
00:21:19,662 --> 00:21:20,773
Yeah.
519
00:21:20,796 --> 00:21:22,908
So, how come you didn't want him
520
00:21:22,930 --> 00:21:24,540
to meet your new
buddies the other day?
521
00:21:24,563 --> 00:21:26,641
Were you afraid he
would embarrass you?
522
00:21:26,663 --> 00:21:27,740
Oh, no.
523
00:21:27,763 --> 00:21:29,408
See, I was afraid
they would tell him
524
00:21:29,431 --> 00:21:30,875
about the story
in the newsletter.
525
00:21:30,897 --> 00:21:32,441
Well, not that it matters.
526
00:21:32,464 --> 00:21:34,742
He found out anyway.
527
00:21:34,764 --> 00:21:37,164
Oh, Ma, what am I gonna do?
528
00:21:37,998 --> 00:21:40,877
You are going in there
and straighten things out.
529
00:21:40,899 --> 00:21:42,843
He's knocking his brains out,
530
00:21:42,865 --> 00:21:44,710
so you'll be proud of him.
531
00:21:44,732 --> 00:21:46,710
Well, I am proud of him.
532
00:21:46,732 --> 00:21:49,133
Then tell him so!
533
00:21:56,567 --> 00:21:57,778
Hi, Pop!
534
00:21:57,801 --> 00:21:59,901
Lionel! Who let you in?
535
00:22:05,335 --> 00:22:07,001
Um...
536
00:22:10,102 --> 00:22:12,114
I have my own key, remember?
537
00:22:12,136 --> 00:22:14,614
Um, would you like
some potato pie?
538
00:22:14,636 --> 00:22:16,702
No. No, thanks.
539
00:22:19,270 --> 00:22:20,580
What you doing in the kitchen?
540
00:22:20,603 --> 00:22:22,515
Nothing. I was just thinking.
541
00:22:22,537 --> 00:22:23,702
Oh.
542
00:22:25,171 --> 00:22:27,816
You know, I've been
doing some thinking too.
543
00:22:27,838 --> 00:22:30,117
You know those guys from
work I was telling you about?
544
00:22:30,139 --> 00:22:32,850
Oh, your new buddies. Yeah.
545
00:22:32,871 --> 00:22:35,817
Well, um, we're going
out again on Friday night.
546
00:22:35,839 --> 00:22:37,284
That's nice.
547
00:22:37,306 --> 00:22:40,451
I thought I'd ask 'em
up here first for a drink.
548
00:22:40,473 --> 00:22:42,953
You know, to meet you and Mom.
549
00:22:43,573 --> 00:22:44,817
Say what?
550
00:22:44,840 --> 00:22:46,184
You want 'em to meet me?
551
00:22:46,207 --> 00:22:47,952
Well, sure I do.
552
00:22:47,974 --> 00:22:50,419
You're my dad, and...
And I'm proud of you.
553
00:22:50,441 --> 00:22:51,851
You are?
554
00:22:51,874 --> 00:22:53,685
Oh, you better believe it.
555
00:22:53,707 --> 00:22:56,720
Hey, um, what's this?
556
00:22:56,741 --> 00:22:58,319
Oh, uh...
557
00:22:58,342 --> 00:23:00,486
that's just something
I was studying.
558
00:23:00,508 --> 00:23:02,353
Hmm. What for?
559
00:23:02,375 --> 00:23:04,853
Well, I was thinking about
taking my high school test.
560
00:23:04,875 --> 00:23:07,121
You know, for the high school
diploma which I didn't get.
561
00:23:07,143 --> 00:23:08,987
Are you jiving?
562
00:23:09,010 --> 00:23:10,587
Now, what would a
guy with your smarts
563
00:23:10,609 --> 00:23:12,821
need a diploma to
prove how clever he is?
564
00:23:12,843 --> 00:23:15,088
Man, you've already
proved it where it counts.
565
00:23:15,110 --> 00:23:16,922
You think so?
566
00:23:16,945 --> 00:23:18,422
I know so.
567
00:23:18,444 --> 00:23:20,055
You know, most of
those college dudes
568
00:23:20,078 --> 00:23:21,755
couldn't do half of
what you've done.
569
00:23:21,778 --> 00:23:23,245
Ha! That's true.
570
00:23:26,578 --> 00:23:27,555
I mean, you know,
571
00:23:27,578 --> 00:23:29,089
go on studying if you want to,
572
00:23:29,112 --> 00:23:31,813
but, um, I think
it's a waste of time.
573
00:23:32,947 --> 00:23:34,257
[LAUGHS]
574
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:36,125
So do I!
575
00:23:36,147 --> 00:23:37,147
Ha!
576
00:23:38,580 --> 00:23:41,900
Look, no more jokes about
me going to Harvard, okay?
577
00:23:43,014 --> 00:23:44,680
No more... jokes.
578
00:23:46,048 --> 00:23:47,025
I promise, Pop.
579
00:23:47,049 --> 00:23:48,026
Hey, all right.
580
00:23:48,049 --> 00:23:49,326
[LAUGHS]
581
00:23:49,348 --> 00:23:51,893
Weezy! I ain't gotta
take the test no more.
582
00:23:51,915 --> 00:23:54,160
You don't? Why not?
583
00:23:54,182 --> 00:23:56,227
Because Lionel's bringing
his buddies up here.
584
00:23:56,249 --> 00:23:57,526
He is?
585
00:23:57,549 --> 00:23:58,726
Mm-hm. And like he was saying,
586
00:23:58,749 --> 00:24:00,727
I ain't got to prove
nothing to nobody.
587
00:24:00,750 --> 00:24:03,990
So ain't no reason for me
to take the examination.
588
00:24:07,151 --> 00:24:08,917
Well...
589
00:24:13,018 --> 00:24:15,418
Back to the damn books.
590
00:24:40,521 --> 00:24:42,633
ANNOUNCER: The
Jeffersons was recorded on tape
591
00:24:42,655 --> 00:24:45,489
in front of a studio audience.
592
00:24:51,331 --> 00:24:53,264
? Movin', movin' on up ?
593
00:24:53,942 --> 00:25:54,429
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