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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 The best IPTV also in 2022 WWW.ALLIN1BOX.CO.UK 2 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:11,500 My husband. 3 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:13,700 Thank you for last night. 4 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,800 Thank you for last night. 5 00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:52,100 Thank you for last night. 6 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,400 Hey, what do you think you're doing? 7 00:02:26,100 --> 00:02:27,500 Shit. 8 00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:47,400 Today, these visually impaired senior citizens will fulfill a lifelong dream: 9 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:51,900 To swim with dolphins. 10 00:02:54,500 --> 00:02:55,700 Hey, check this out. 11 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:59,100 - What is that? - Careful. 12 00:02:59,300 --> 00:03:01,400 That is four years of research. 13 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:05,400 A technological breakthrough which might just save a life or two. 14 00:03:05,600 --> 00:03:07,400 - What's it for? - A device to prevent... 15 00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:09,400 ...the beaching of cetaceans. 16 00:03:09,500 --> 00:03:12,400 - That's whales to you and me. - Cetaceans, huh? 17 00:03:12,600 --> 00:03:14,800 That's a pretty big word for a man-whore. 18 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:20,000 I'm not a man-whore. 19 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,400 I'm a fish enthusiast. 20 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,500 I stopped man-whoring when I met my wife. 21 00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:26,900 My mom said your wife got eaten on your honeymoon... 22 00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,900 ...because you tried to feed the sharks. 23 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,700 You tell your mom I was trying to feed the turtles. 24 00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:34,100 I didn't realize there was meat sauce on the lettuce. 25 00:03:34,300 --> 00:03:37,700 Whatever. I bet that thing doesn't even work, you stupid he-bitch. 26 00:03:37,900 --> 00:03:40,300 - Come on, I got it. - Hey, you little bastards. 27 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,800 Give that back! That's not a toy! 28 00:03:44,500 --> 00:03:46,800 That's the one. That's your grandma. 29 00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:48,800 Give me...! Come on! Give me...! 30 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,600 Something seems to be going wrong. I'm not sure what's happening. 31 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,600 I gotcha! I got...! 32 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:21,600 Hey, everybody. I'm home. 33 00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:28,400 Hi, Kate. I missed you today. 34 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,900 The prototype's almost working. 35 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,900 All it needs is a few minor adjustments. 36 00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:43,000 Wes Takahashi in Malibu, where three blind swimmers are missing. 37 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,200 I hope that man rots in hell! 38 00:04:46,100 --> 00:04:48,500 It was some weird guy. He tried to touch my ball... 39 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,100 - Hello? - Deucey, Deucey, Deucey. 40 00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:00,000 It's your old buddy T.J. here. 41 00:05:00,200 --> 00:05:02,200 - T.J? - I'm in Amsterdam. 42 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,400 Man, you'd love it here. It's like Disneyland for college students. 43 00:05:05,700 --> 00:05:06,900 You wouldn't believe this. 44 00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:10,100 Why don't you come and let your friend T.J. show you a good time. 45 00:05:10,300 --> 00:05:12,400 - Oh, that's crazy. I can't. - Look. 46 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:15,000 It ain't like you got something better to do over there. 47 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:17,100 Amsterdam is so far away. 48 00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:20,600 Police have just released a sketch of a man wanted for questioning. 49 00:05:20,700 --> 00:05:25,100 Witnesses report he is goofy-looking and probably a virgin. 50 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,700 On the other hand, far away could be good. 51 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:33,300 Is my wife gonna be okay in there? 52 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,800 - She'll be fine, sir. - All right. 53 00:05:36,100 --> 00:05:39,300 Ladies and gentlemen, Flight 10 from Helsinki is now arriving... 54 00:05:39,500 --> 00:05:42,300 Excuse me. I think there's been a mix-up. 55 00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,200 Oh, sorry. Sorry. 56 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:48,400 That's okay. I always wondered what it felt like to be a white woman. 57 00:05:49,500 --> 00:05:51,600 - Can I borrow it? - Give me that. 58 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:53,700 Hold on. 59 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,800 All rows now boarding for Amsterdam. 60 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:05,700 Excuse me. 61 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,200 Okay. 62 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,500 Hey, how many people get to do this on their honeymoon? 63 00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:22,100 You're sure it's safe to feed the turtles? 64 00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:26,000 You have nothing to worry about. I'm a fish expert, remember? 65 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,300 What is that over there? 66 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,800 Oh, that's just some kid with a fin on his back, trying to scare us. 67 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,100 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 68 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,600 Do you think the hotel would let us swim out here if there were sharks? 69 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:43,800 Come on. This is Mexico. 70 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,000 They know what they're doing. 71 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,000 This shirt's gonna be a great icebreaker. 72 00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:04,100 Fuck you, American, you imperialist bastard! 73 00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:07,700 I love America. I love President Bush. 74 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:10,400 Thank you for bringing democracy to Iraq. 75 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:12,900 - Shut up! - Oh, shit! 76 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,900 Oh, hello. Sir. 77 00:07:17,300 --> 00:07:20,300 - Is this okay? - You did miss a spot. 78 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,500 Did I get it? 79 00:07:28,100 --> 00:07:30,300 Put some elbow in it. 80 00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:33,900 Sorry, honey. 81 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,700 What's with all these red lights? 82 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,500 I wonder if they know their curtains are open. 83 00:07:48,300 --> 00:07:49,600 Oh, man. 84 00:07:52,300 --> 00:07:54,100 Ahoy there! 85 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:56,700 Big Deucey in Amsterdam. 86 00:07:58,200 --> 00:07:59,900 Man, get on over here. 87 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,300 Deucey. 88 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:05,200 - Look at this boat. - Check this out. 89 00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:11,800 You like that? 90 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,200 I couldn't be happier for you. 91 00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:20,900 Come, let me show you my float-crib. 92 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:24,300 - Okay. - Looking like money. 93 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:28,000 I'm telling you, you gonna have a good time, man, huh? 94 00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:32,100 Well, it ain't much, but it's home. 95 00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:37,100 It's nice. I like what you've done with it. 96 00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:40,600 Now, if you gotta use the bathroom, lift up the toilet seat. 97 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,900 This is where I live. This is my home. 98 00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:45,800 I don't want nobody pissing on my toilet seat. 99 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:50,200 What do you think of the float-crib? You feeling it? 100 00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:53,300 T.J., I think you got a bad leak here. 101 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,100 No, no, no. It's just high tide. 102 00:08:56,500 --> 00:08:58,900 Is that what I think it is? 103 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:02,100 Yeah. I brought Kate. 104 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:05,000 I really wanna show her a good time, you know? 105 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,300 Maybe buy her a wooden shoe. 106 00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:10,300 Deucey. 107 00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:14,800 Keeping that leg is kind of creepy. 108 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:18,000 - You gotta move on with your life. - T.J! 109 00:09:20,300 --> 00:09:21,700 Hey, Lil' Kim, what's up? 110 00:09:21,900 --> 00:09:23,800 I no more man-whore. Too much danger. 111 00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,100 Excuse us for a moment, Deucey. 112 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,000 Listen up, Lil' Kim. 113 00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:35,300 When your little bony ass had SARS, who got you out of quarantine? 114 00:09:36,300 --> 00:09:38,700 - Go make me some money. - No way! 115 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:40,900 I take my three inches elsewhere. 116 00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:49,000 So I thought I'd come over here and make a killing. 117 00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:51,100 Got myself a houseboat, some ho's. 118 00:09:51,400 --> 00:09:53,500 The only thing a woman love more than a man-ho... 119 00:09:53,700 --> 00:09:56,000 - ...is a floating man-ho. - Makes sense. 120 00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,300 Then all these man-whore murders started. 121 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,700 My he-bitches got too scared to go to work. 122 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,400 What kind of world do we live in... 123 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:05,200 ...where the streets ain't safe for male prostitutes? 124 00:10:05,500 --> 00:10:07,400 Here's your hashish. 125 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,500 - Enjoy. - Hashish? 126 00:10:10,700 --> 00:10:12,500 - Yeah. - No. 127 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:16,300 I thought this was a coffee shop. 128 00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:19,000 Let me break it down for you, Deucey. You're in Amsterdam. 129 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:22,000 If you want coffee, you go to a café. 130 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:26,400 If you want marijuana, ganji or some freaky-deaky, you go to a coffee shop. 131 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,300 That's where you is now. 132 00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:39,000 Put that away. Cops. Cops! 133 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:41,800 Hold it right there. 134 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:52,300 Now, that joint looks loose. If you want, I'll roll the next one. 135 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:55,200 Have a good evening, huh? 136 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,800 Oh, don't worry about it, Deucey. This is Amsterdam. 137 00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:01,200 It's perfectly legal over here. You want a hit? 138 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,400 No. I'm not smoking nothing. 139 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:04,900 Oh, come on, man. 140 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,300 - Deucey don't smoke. - Suit yourself. 141 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,900 Well, well, well, if it ain't Heinz Hummer... 142 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:12,300 ...the gigolo with the most below. 143 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:14,100 What do you want, T.J? I'm busy. 144 00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:16,700 I wanna introduce you to my friend, Deuce Bigalow. 145 00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,600 - He's a gigolo from America. - Hi. 146 00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,900 Sometimes you're really funny, T.J. 147 00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:28,500 How much you getting for a Filthy Ramirez these days? 148 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,800 I could get you more. 149 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,100 A Filthy Ramirez? Where have you been? 150 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,900 Nobody pays for that shit anymore. 151 00:11:34,100 --> 00:11:35,500 See you around, T.J. 152 00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:37,100 The Man-whore Awards are coming up. 153 00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:38,800 You wanna win the Golden Boner? 154 00:11:38,900 --> 00:11:40,600 I already won it twice. 155 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,500 Just ask your ex-fiancée. 156 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:45,400 Man, why you gotta bring up Delisha like that? 157 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,600 I can't believe prostitution's legal here. 158 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,400 Oh, yeah, it's big business. They got a union, dental plan. 159 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,500 Man, if I had a he-bitch like Heinz Hummer... 160 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,500 ...put me back in the game. 161 00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,700 - Is he that good? - "Is he that good?" 162 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:02,400 They don't call him "Lord of the Wangs" for nothing. 163 00:12:02,900 --> 00:12:04,700 Man, what I wouldn't give... 164 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,400 For Heinz's wang? 165 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,900 No, I don't want Heinz's wang! I want him as a client. 166 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,300 Hey, man, keep your voice down. 167 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,600 Talking about me wanting Heinz's big juicy wang. 168 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:17,900 People would think I'm gay. 169 00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:21,200 Now, a pimp's only got one thing in this world: 170 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,900 His reputation. 171 00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:25,900 Here you are, gentlemen. Fresh today. 172 00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,000 - What is this? - Spacecake. 173 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,600 - Why do they call it that? - You know... 174 00:12:32,900 --> 00:12:35,100 ...it's what the astronauts eat. Like Tang. 175 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,300 I'm starving. 176 00:12:42,900 --> 00:12:45,900 - It's a little dry. - Keep eating. It gets better. 177 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,400 - You sure you don't want any? - No. 178 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,600 Never been high, never gonna be. 179 00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:55,900 This is pretty good cake, though. 180 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:58,100 Fucking excellent. 181 00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:35,100 You. 182 00:13:37,700 --> 00:13:38,900 Come on in here. 183 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,200 You...? You want me to...? 184 00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:42,800 Yes, you. 185 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:05,000 - Maybe you can help me. - Really? 186 00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:09,000 I don't want a man who's chiseled and sculpted. 187 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:12,500 I like soft and weak. 188 00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:15,900 - You do? - I want a man who's unemployed. 189 00:14:17,300 --> 00:14:19,800 And went to a community college. 190 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,400 I am, and I did. 191 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,400 - You know what really turns me on? - What? 192 00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:28,400 Is thinking about him in his tighty whities... 193 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:30,500 ...sitting at his computer... 194 00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:33,100 ...and visiting different porn sites... 195 00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:37,900 ...and taking the free tour with no intention of ever joining. 196 00:14:38,100 --> 00:14:39,700 I don't have a credit card! 197 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:42,800 - Kiss my chest. - Okay. 198 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,000 Harder! 199 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:47,600 - Bite me! - You sure? 200 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,100 Harder! Bite me harder! 201 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,800 Get off of my titty, you doped-up cracker! 202 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,800 No more spacecakes for you. 203 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:06,500 Hey. I'm sorry about that, T.J. I must have gotten a contact buzz. 204 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,800 What'd I tell you about making me look gay? 205 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,100 Not ten minutes go by and you got your sloppy mouth... 206 00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:12,800 ...all over my breasteses. 207 00:15:13,100 --> 00:15:14,300 My nipple's ruined! 208 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,800 You're lucky I was born with a spare. 209 00:15:19,700 --> 00:15:21,600 There go one of my ho's. 210 00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:23,800 The old guy in the walker's one of your ho's? 211 00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:27,700 Yeah. Why ain't his ancient ass out there making me my money? 212 00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:31,100 Kaiser! Get your old ass back in the booth! 213 00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:33,600 Deucey, meet me back at the float-crib. 214 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,000 Bitches out here act like they never seen a pimp before. 215 00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:41,300 I raise my hand, they look at it like it's a goddamn croissant. Then: BAM 216 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,800 Feel my pimp hand. 217 00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:48,500 Where's the boat? 218 00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:03,200 Oh. You scared me. 219 00:16:05,500 --> 00:16:07,700 Hey. Do you know who I am? 220 00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:12,300 I am Heinz Hummer. I'm the gigolo with the most below. Okay? 221 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:15,000 I can give you a Filthy Lopez like you never had before. 222 00:16:15,300 --> 00:16:18,000 I could give you a Cambodian Creamsicle... 223 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,400 ...that will make you scream all night. Okay? 224 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:24,000 But not now because I'm busy. So leave me alone, bitch. 225 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,900 Wait a second. Do I know you? 226 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:35,400 "New-jizz-fizz... 227 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,500 ...ver-bur-ger-king... "? 228 00:16:52,900 --> 00:16:54,500 Heinz. 229 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,400 Man, are you wasted. 230 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:10,000 I gotcha. 231 00:17:11,900 --> 00:17:13,800 Coming up next, more weather. 232 00:17:15,600 --> 00:17:17,100 What's this? 233 00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:20,900 Hey, Heinz, wake up, check this out. 234 00:17:22,900 --> 00:17:24,700 Holy shit. 235 00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:28,400 Europe just got a little better. 236 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:32,800 Damn. That old Kaiser's got legs. 237 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,900 - You gotta keep your bitches in line. - Yeah. 238 00:17:36,900 --> 00:17:39,800 - What's he doing here? - I found him passed out in the alley. 239 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,300 I couldn't just leave him there. 240 00:17:42,600 --> 00:17:43,900 I put in a good word for you. 241 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,400 Thanks, Deucey. Much appreciated. 242 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,700 I knew you'd come around. 243 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,500 Oh, shit. Heinz ain't passed out. Heinz is dead. 244 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:59,300 No. He can't be. 245 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,000 I'm telling you, Heinz is dead. See for yourself. 246 00:18:08,500 --> 00:18:09,800 Watch this. 247 00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:17,700 Maybe he's just a heavy sleeper. 248 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,500 I can't believe you brought a dead man-whore in my home. 249 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:29,500 - What were you thinking? - I didn't know you could die from pot. 250 00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:33,300 This is no pot-related fatality. This is no ganja accident. 251 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,300 This man was murdered. 252 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,400 The Man-whore Killer did this? 253 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:45,100 - We gotta call the police. - No, no, no! Hey, hey! 254 00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,700 Goddamn, white boy. 255 00:18:46,900 --> 00:18:49,200 You think the police gonna believe a stone-black pimp... 256 00:18:49,300 --> 00:18:52,000 ...had nothing to do with a dead prosti-dude in his float-crib? 257 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:05,300 Before I toss your dumb ass in the canal, I just wanna say... 258 00:19:05,500 --> 00:19:07,700 ...for the record, under T.J.'s management... 259 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,800 ...this would've never happened. 260 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:16,300 I just gotta see what all the fuss was about. 261 00:19:20,700 --> 00:19:22,300 Goddamn! 262 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,200 No wonder Delisha never came back. 263 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,100 That shit's the real Loch Ness monster. 264 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:31,300 What's over there? 265 00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:35,500 - Look where his hand is. - What the shit is this? 266 00:19:36,700 --> 00:19:39,300 What you looking at? Turn off them damn cameras! 267 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:42,100 I ain't gay! I was only looking down his pants... 268 00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:44,600 ...because I heard his schlong was so big and juicy. 269 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,400 Wait a minute. That didn't sound right. 270 00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,600 - Perv! - Give me them damn cameras. 271 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,600 Where is he? 272 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:57,200 We now interrupt Naked Seinfeld for this special report. 273 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,000 The suspected Man-whore Killer... 274 00:19:59,200 --> 00:20:01,300 ...has been spotted on the Prinsengracht Canal... 275 00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,500 ...attempting to dispose of his latest victim. 276 00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:06,700 - I ain't gay! - The suspected killer... 277 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,300 ...has been identified as Tiberius Jefferson Hicks. 278 00:20:10,500 --> 00:20:12,400 - You idiot. - He is still at large... 279 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,000 - ... and extremely... - Hold it! 280 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,800 Hey. Hey, guys! How's it going? 281 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,800 - Where is he? - I don't know. 282 00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,900 - Where is he? - I swear I don't know. 283 00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,600 Your loyalty is impressive, sir. 284 00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:31,500 You've once been arrested for man-whoring, were you not? 285 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:33,700 Look, I wasn't really man-whoring... 286 00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:37,900 Please, Mr. Bigalow. I've heard this a thousand times. 287 00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:40,400 You were cold, you were frightened. 288 00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,800 He took you under his arm and fed you. 289 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,800 He made you feel sexy. 290 00:20:44,900 --> 00:20:48,200 He told you how to hide money in every orifice. 291 00:20:48,300 --> 00:20:52,000 But your friend is obviously a killer. 292 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,500 T.J.'s not a killer. 293 00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:56,300 If he isn't a murderer... 294 00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:59,500 ...then what was he doing checking out a dead man's penis? 295 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,500 I guess he was curious. 296 00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:06,200 He heard it was big and juicy... 297 00:21:06,300 --> 00:21:08,600 ...and wanted to see for himself. 298 00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,200 A lot of guys do that. 299 00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:15,900 No, they don't. 300 00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:18,800 Okay. 301 00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:20,900 T.J.'s gay. 302 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:25,200 - Really? - Not normal-gay, but, you know... 303 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,300 ...crazy-gay, you know? 304 00:21:28,900 --> 00:21:31,400 Musical-theater-gay. 305 00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:35,000 Is that why he puts lipstick... 306 00:21:36,500 --> 00:21:39,200 ...on all his victims? 307 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,000 Wait a minute. 308 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:45,800 In the alley, I heard someone whistling. 309 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,600 And I saw someone. 310 00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,700 A woman... 311 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,600 ...in a leopard coat. 312 00:21:56,500 --> 00:22:00,200 People see a lot of crazy things when they're high on spacecake. 313 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,400 There's drugs in spacecake? 314 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:06,600 Mr. Bigalow, I will find your pimp whether you help me or not. 315 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:15,600 - T.J., thank God you're here. - How'd you find me? 316 00:22:15,700 --> 00:22:18,100 It's the only chicken and waffle place in Holland. 317 00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:21,200 So a black man's gotta be at a chicken and waffles place? 318 00:22:21,300 --> 00:22:22,700 That's racist. 319 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,800 - But you are here. - Yeah, but figuring it out is racist. 320 00:22:29,300 --> 00:22:31,800 - It's a nice place. - Did you know Holland invented... 321 00:22:31,900 --> 00:22:34,000 - ...chicken and waffles? - Really? 322 00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:37,100 Before that, you could only get chicken or waffles. 323 00:22:37,300 --> 00:22:40,300 But they were the first to put them together. 324 00:22:40,700 --> 00:22:44,300 Black people all over the world will be forever grateful to the Dutch for that. 325 00:22:44,500 --> 00:22:46,700 You do know the Dutch started the slave trade. 326 00:22:47,300 --> 00:22:49,500 Those motherfuckers! 327 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,300 Who let them print this? 328 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:01,500 Look, we're gonna prove that you didn't kill anyone. 329 00:23:01,700 --> 00:23:05,000 I don't give a damn about that. It's the "extremely gay" part. 330 00:23:05,100 --> 00:23:07,800 If I'm a murderer, they'll welcome me home with open arms. 331 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:09,800 Get out of jail and become a huge rapper. 332 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,500 But a gay pimp? 333 00:23:11,700 --> 00:23:14,700 - Like, where I'm going? Vermont? - Look, T.J... 334 00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:16,900 ...I think I saw the real killer. 335 00:23:17,100 --> 00:23:18,400 It was a woman. 336 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,400 Some she-john went on a he-bitch killing spree... 337 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,800 ...because she wasn't satisfied with a Filthy Lopez. 338 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,700 - What's a Filthy Lopez? - Forty bucks. Same as downtown. 339 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,900 All we do is find the she-johns that went out with the dead gigolos. 340 00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:31,800 - One of them is our killer. - Makes sense. 341 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,400 - You gotta get back on the horse. - Horse? What horse? 342 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:35,800 The man-whore horse. 343 00:23:35,900 --> 00:23:37,600 We gonna use your white ass as bait. 344 00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,400 Bait? Look, I'm not man-whoring. 345 00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:41,900 We'll find the killer using your twat-sicle. 346 00:23:42,300 --> 00:23:45,800 Twat-sicle? Gross! No. 347 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:50,700 Give this to my mama. 348 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,300 Tell her I'm sorry I was a disappointment to her. 349 00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:56,100 Sorry I called her friends in the middle of the night... 350 00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:58,200 ...when I was pleasuring myself. 351 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:01,400 And tell her she don't have to worry anymore about her baby. 352 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:08,400 Even if I wanted to, how are we gonna find a dead gigolo's customers? 353 00:24:08,500 --> 00:24:10,800 We'll go to the man-whore union. But be careful. 354 00:24:10,900 --> 00:24:12,200 They'll be looking for me. 355 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:18,600 Meeting of the Royal Order of European Man-whores... 356 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:21,100 ...is now in session. 357 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,800 These are the highest paid he-bitches in Europe. 358 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:26,800 That? That's Rodrigo. He's from Spain. 359 00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:29,400 He can tie shoelaces with his tongue. 360 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,500 That? That's Enzo. He's Italian. 361 00:24:32,700 --> 00:24:34,900 His nutsack is insured for a million dollars. 362 00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:37,500 - That's 500 grand each. - Check it out. 363 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,800 That's Assapopulus from Greece. 364 00:24:39,900 --> 00:24:42,800 He can actually kiss you with his butthole. 365 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:44,500 I'd like to never see that. 366 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,800 I'd like to say a few words about our fallen comrade, Heinz Hummer. 367 00:24:49,100 --> 00:24:50,300 Who's the blond guy? 368 00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:53,800 Chadsworth Buckingham. Comes from a long line of ho's. 369 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,900 His great-great-great grandmother gave Henry VIII crabs. 370 00:24:57,100 --> 00:25:00,100 But I know Heinz would like to be remembered for most... 371 00:25:00,700 --> 00:25:03,800 - ...was being a male prostitute. - Hear, hear. 372 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,800 He was also a supercilious cunt. 373 00:25:07,500 --> 00:25:11,200 - Who's that guy? - Gian-Carlo. Silverback he-bitch. 374 00:25:11,500 --> 00:25:14,400 Heinz Hummer was undercutting all of us. 375 00:25:14,500 --> 00:25:16,200 - What? - Yes. 376 00:25:16,300 --> 00:25:19,200 He was charging the same price for straight sex... 377 00:25:19,400 --> 00:25:21,700 ...as he was for a Turkish Snow Cone. 378 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,900 - What? - Oh, yes. 379 00:25:24,100 --> 00:25:28,300 He was also charging the same price for a Belgian Steamer... 380 00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:31,600 ...as he was for a Portuguese Breakfast. 381 00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:36,400 As we sow, so shall we reap. 382 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,700 Thank you, Gian-Carlo, for those kind words. 383 00:25:39,900 --> 00:25:41,900 Until this insane killer is apprehended... 384 00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:45,500 ...the union is going to institute a new security measure. 385 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:49,300 This ring locks snugly over your va-guy-na... 386 00:25:50,300 --> 00:25:53,400 ...and then communicates directly with a global satellite system. 387 00:25:53,600 --> 00:25:57,600 There are rings of all sizes available, smaller for our Asian members. 388 00:25:58,300 --> 00:25:59,800 Y'all know me. 389 00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:02,600 My name is McManus. 390 00:26:03,100 --> 00:26:07,700 I joined this union some 20-odd years ago for two reasons: 391 00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:10,600 To have intercourse in exchange for cash... 392 00:26:10,800 --> 00:26:13,800 ...and two, to protect me rights as a man-whore. 393 00:26:13,900 --> 00:26:15,200 But... 394 00:26:16,100 --> 00:26:17,800 ...three years ago... 395 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:22,300 ...when this union told we man-whores... 396 00:26:22,500 --> 00:26:26,600 ...that we were to stop having intercourse with underage girls... 397 00:26:26,900 --> 00:26:29,200 ...I strongly disagreed. 398 00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:31,300 But I did not stand up. 399 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:34,800 I'm ashamed to say I stood down! 400 00:26:35,300 --> 00:26:37,500 And then three months later... 401 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:41,000 ...this union told we man-whores... 402 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:46,600 ...that we were to begin washing our private areas between customers. 403 00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,300 Our private areas. 404 00:26:50,100 --> 00:26:54,000 And once again, I'm ashamed to report to you gentlemen... 405 00:26:54,700 --> 00:26:56,000 ...I stood down! 406 00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:02,000 But now, sir, for what am I to tell my 8-year-old boy... 407 00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:04,600 ...when he comes to me and he says: 408 00:27:04,700 --> 00:27:06,700 "Daddy. Daddy. 409 00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:12,000 What's that thing hanging off of your he-pussy?" 410 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:14,700 How am I to tell him, sir? 411 00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,800 Deucey, you can do this. 412 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,700 Due to high demand... 413 00:27:25,900 --> 00:27:29,000 ...each member will be only allowed two tickets... 414 00:27:29,100 --> 00:27:32,200 - ...to this year's Man-whore Awards. - How's it going? 415 00:27:32,800 --> 00:27:36,100 I'm Deuce Bigalow. I'm a gigolo from America. 416 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,600 My friend Tiberius Jefferson is not the Man-whore Killer. 417 00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:42,100 Homo! 418 00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:46,500 Now, I'm convinced that the real killer... 419 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,000 ...is a she-john. 420 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,300 Which means any one of you could be next. 421 00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:57,300 Now, there are a couple hundred gigolos in this room. 422 00:27:57,500 --> 00:27:59,900 Now, if we all work together... 423 00:28:00,100 --> 00:28:02,100 ...we can find out who the real killer is. 424 00:28:03,900 --> 00:28:05,600 What do you say? 425 00:28:12,500 --> 00:28:14,400 How come you didn't tell them I wasn't gay? 426 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,600 Did you not just see me get thrown through a window? 427 00:28:17,900 --> 00:28:19,900 - What do we do now? - T.J. has an old friend... 428 00:28:20,100 --> 00:28:24,100 ...who just might be able to help us. Come on. Watch your step. 429 00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:27,800 Right this way, please. 430 00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:29,600 Deuce. 431 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:33,600 Antoine? 432 00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:36,200 - Sit down. - It's good to see you. 433 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:37,600 It's been a long time. 434 00:28:43,600 --> 00:28:46,000 This is the list from the man-whore union. 435 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:50,500 It's got all the clients that went out with the dead gigolos. 436 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:51,900 Awesome! 437 00:28:56,300 --> 00:28:59,700 Please be quiet. I went through a great deal of trouble to get this. 438 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:02,700 - Sorry. - Now, if you want to compete... 439 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:04,600 ...with the European man-whores... 440 00:29:04,800 --> 00:29:08,100 ...you need to learn how to really please a woman. 441 00:29:08,500 --> 00:29:11,000 - I should write some of this down. - Go ahead. 442 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:15,000 You must be able to pleasure a woman with... 443 00:29:16,300 --> 00:29:17,600 With your... 444 00:29:18,500 --> 00:29:19,800 Pleasure her with...? 445 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:26,200 Do you want me to try? 446 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:36,600 All right. 447 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:39,600 Women really like that? 448 00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,300 Man-whore down. 449 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:58,400 Get the list. It's in his pants. 450 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:00,900 All right. I think I got it. 451 00:30:06,900 --> 00:30:09,400 Can't a brother stick his hand down another man's pants... 452 00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,800 ...without setting off the faggot alarm? 453 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,500 Marlene Alsmere. She went out with Diego and Heinz. 454 00:30:16,700 --> 00:30:18,600 What am I gonna do if she tries to kill me? 455 00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:21,500 Distract her with your magic she-nis, I'll look for evidence. 456 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:23,600 The lipstick and the leopard coat. 457 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:32,600 All right. Hi, I'm Deuce Bigalow. Hi, I'm Deuce Bigalow. 458 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,900 Hi, I'm Deuce-- Biggest lady I've ever seen. 459 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,100 That's a huge bitch. 460 00:30:42,700 --> 00:30:44,200 Hi. 461 00:30:47,300 --> 00:30:48,800 Cute kids. Are they yours? 462 00:30:48,900 --> 00:30:53,300 Those pictures, they come with the frames. I'm unable to have children. 463 00:30:53,900 --> 00:30:57,300 I'm so sorry. That must be very hard for you. 464 00:31:06,300 --> 00:31:07,700 Evidence. 465 00:31:11,500 --> 00:31:13,300 That big ho got food everywhere. 466 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:16,400 You're a nice man. 467 00:31:16,700 --> 00:31:18,800 Now, take off your clothes. 468 00:31:19,000 --> 00:31:22,200 Don't you wanna talk a little more? You seem very interesting. 469 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:24,000 Take them off! 470 00:31:26,900 --> 00:31:28,600 "Dutch Bride. " 471 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,400 Baby walk to Mommy. 472 00:31:54,300 --> 00:31:56,300 Come, come. 473 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:58,900 No! Like baby! 474 00:31:59,100 --> 00:32:02,100 Baby walk to Mommy. 475 00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,300 Good baby. 476 00:32:12,100 --> 00:32:13,800 Come to Mommy. 477 00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:23,100 Baby hungry? Want booby? 478 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,100 Baby never eat again. 479 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,400 You like them big hairy balls, don't you? 480 00:32:57,700 --> 00:33:00,200 Bad pussy! Bad pussy! 481 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:05,500 Hold it! 482 00:33:05,700 --> 00:33:08,800 Hold it right there. Is this truck full of marijuana? 483 00:33:08,900 --> 00:33:12,500 Is this truck full of marijuana? Can't you read the sign? 484 00:33:12,700 --> 00:33:15,600 No unloading pot in the red zone. 485 00:33:15,900 --> 00:33:17,400 Write him up. 486 00:33:17,600 --> 00:33:20,300 - But, sir, it's my daughter's birthday. - Inspector. 487 00:33:20,400 --> 00:33:23,400 She's turning 13. We need all this pot for the party. 488 00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:26,800 Inspector. I got these lipsticks from Marlene Alsmere. 489 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,200 She was a customer of Heinz. She's big and strong. 490 00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:32,400 - She could easily be the killer. - The lipstick the killer uses... 491 00:33:32,500 --> 00:33:33,800 ...is a very rare one. 492 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:39,900 Shimmer Lavender Love number 66. Discontinued in 1984. 493 00:33:40,100 --> 00:33:41,200 But... But... 494 00:33:41,300 --> 00:33:45,200 Sir, I have a list of the women who went out with the murdered gigolos. 495 00:33:45,900 --> 00:33:48,700 - Will you stop doing that? - Will you stop playing these games... 496 00:33:48,900 --> 00:33:51,500 - ...and tell me where T.J.'s hiding? - T.J.'s innocent. 497 00:33:51,700 --> 00:33:54,100 Oh, don't make me laugh. "T.J.'s innocent." 498 00:33:55,300 --> 00:33:58,000 Uncle! You forgot your lunch. 499 00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:00,600 That's very nice. Thanks. 500 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:09,600 - Let me... Let me help you with that. - Thank you. 501 00:34:11,700 --> 00:34:13,900 Excuse me for asking... 502 00:34:14,100 --> 00:34:16,200 ...but why did you slap yourself like that? 503 00:34:17,700 --> 00:34:19,400 Promise you won't laugh? 504 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:21,200 I promise. 505 00:34:23,100 --> 00:34:26,800 I have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. 506 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:31,400 I have these little rituals that I can't help doing. 507 00:34:31,500 --> 00:34:35,100 I can't touch doorknobs, I snap my fingers when I see a bus. 508 00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:37,900 And when someone sneezes, I slap myself three times. 509 00:34:38,100 --> 00:34:40,500 I've heard of that. That's not so bad. 510 00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:45,300 I'm sorry. Bells make me do that. 511 00:34:46,100 --> 00:34:47,600 It got me kicked out of school. 512 00:34:47,800 --> 00:34:50,600 It's okay. Everyone's got a few weird habits. 513 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:54,300 Actually, I've got about 130. 514 00:34:55,400 --> 00:34:56,900 So you're above average. 515 00:34:58,000 --> 00:34:59,800 I mean... I'm Deuce. 516 00:35:01,300 --> 00:35:03,300 I'm Eva. 517 00:35:04,500 --> 00:35:06,000 Is that a Sudanese Sweetlips? 518 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:09,400 - How did you know? - It's, like, my top-five favorite fish. 519 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,300 They have one here at the aquarium. 520 00:35:12,700 --> 00:35:14,300 I heard this place is incredible. 521 00:35:19,300 --> 00:35:21,100 The doorknob? 522 00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:24,400 I'll get it. Okay. 523 00:35:25,300 --> 00:35:27,800 Thanks. Thank you. 524 00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,000 He's beautiful. 525 00:35:30,800 --> 00:35:32,300 That's really good. 526 00:35:32,900 --> 00:35:34,500 Thank you. 527 00:35:46,700 --> 00:35:51,600 Excuse me, but in America they don't allow smoking in aquariums. 528 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:57,300 Well, in Europe, we don't unilaterally attack a country just to steal their oil. 529 00:35:58,300 --> 00:35:59,700 What? 530 00:35:59,900 --> 00:36:03,900 "What?" Did I offend you? Are you going to shock and awe me? 531 00:36:04,700 --> 00:36:07,800 Maybe you should check my pockets for weapons of mass destruction! 532 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,500 What? I just asked you to put your cigarette out. 533 00:36:10,700 --> 00:36:11,900 And then what is next? 534 00:36:12,100 --> 00:36:14,100 Take wine away from my children? 535 00:36:14,500 --> 00:36:18,400 I put out this cigarette. God bless America. 536 00:36:21,100 --> 00:36:23,500 The nicotine in that cigarette is poisonous. 537 00:36:23,700 --> 00:36:26,400 - So they say. - It could kill every fish in that tank. 538 00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:28,300 Poor little fishy. 539 00:36:31,100 --> 00:36:34,100 Hey. Why are you with that loser? 540 00:36:44,300 --> 00:36:46,500 You have a nice ass. 541 00:36:49,700 --> 00:36:51,800 I think this belongs to you. 542 00:36:58,000 --> 00:36:59,600 You dick! 543 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,500 I would like to take you from behind. 544 00:37:06,100 --> 00:37:09,000 My penis is uncircumcised. 545 00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,600 No head. 546 00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:14,800 It's like a torpedo. 547 00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:19,400 - You pig. - Oh, are you tired of swimming? 548 00:37:19,700 --> 00:37:23,100 Did the little fishies not want to play with you? 549 00:37:34,300 --> 00:37:36,800 Fuck off, you Yank! 550 00:37:39,500 --> 00:37:41,400 I'm staying with my uncle for the summer. 551 00:37:41,500 --> 00:37:43,500 Then I go back to art school in Brussels. 552 00:37:43,900 --> 00:37:46,300 Could I take you out for coffee sometime? 553 00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:47,900 You mean like a date? 554 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:50,100 Well, yeah. 555 00:37:55,100 --> 00:37:57,300 Oh, the siren. 556 00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:01,500 Right. Right. Siren. 557 00:38:01,700 --> 00:38:05,500 Before I can go on a date I have to collect five different colored tulips... 558 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:09,300 ...eat two herring and drink a beer from a wooden shoe. 559 00:38:09,900 --> 00:38:11,900 Well, that sounds doable. 560 00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:19,300 What is it? 561 00:38:22,300 --> 00:38:23,500 The accordion player? 562 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:33,300 The Smelly Finger Dance. 563 00:38:40,600 --> 00:38:42,600 One cheek at a time. 564 00:38:43,900 --> 00:38:47,900 Hey, guys. I need a quick gigolo fix. What do you say? 565 00:38:49,300 --> 00:38:52,500 I'm judging a sandcastle-building competition this afternoon... 566 00:38:52,700 --> 00:38:54,400 ...so I can't help you. 567 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:58,000 The dog ate my penis. 568 00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:04,300 You don't have to walk me any further. I just work over there. 569 00:39:04,500 --> 00:39:07,200 - I don't mind. - I'm kind of embarrassed of my job. 570 00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,700 I'm kind of embarrassed of my job too. What do you do? 571 00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:13,200 Bye, Deuce. 572 00:39:13,900 --> 00:39:18,500 Well, well, well. If it isn't Deuce Not-So-Big-Below. 573 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,100 It's Bigalow. 574 00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:25,500 What's your going rate, Douche? 575 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,700 Well, I was getting $10. 576 00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:35,100 Okay, gigolo. Do you even know when a woman is having an orgasm? 577 00:39:35,300 --> 00:39:37,300 Sure I know. It's when she says: 578 00:39:37,500 --> 00:39:41,600 "Please stop. It's okay. You tried. 579 00:39:42,900 --> 00:39:44,600 Now, get off me." 580 00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:51,500 I bet he doesn't even know how to give a Sneaky Castro. 581 00:39:51,700 --> 00:39:55,900 Well, that depends. If she wants it regular sneaky or extra sneaky. 582 00:39:56,100 --> 00:39:58,900 There is no such thing as an Extra Sneaky Castro. 583 00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:02,300 Is there? 584 00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:04,900 It's when you stick it in their... 585 00:40:05,100 --> 00:40:09,300 It's pretty convenient, your friend killing off all the competition. 586 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:12,800 I've got my eye on you, Small-Below. 587 00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:15,000 Small-Below. 588 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:21,500 I'll be right down. 589 00:40:27,300 --> 00:40:28,600 Okay. 590 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,000 This is the woman that went out with Heinz... 591 00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:34,200 ...the night before he was murdered. 592 00:40:36,900 --> 00:40:40,800 Don't worry about it, Sherlock Ho. I ain't gonna let you out of my sight. 593 00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:46,900 Hi, you must be Lily. I'm Deuce. 594 00:40:47,100 --> 00:40:49,300 Nice to meet you. 595 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,800 Would you like some bread? 596 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,100 Oh, I can't have bread. 597 00:41:04,300 --> 00:41:06,900 It makes my esophageal lining swell up... 598 00:41:07,100 --> 00:41:09,500 ...and could block my throat-hole. 599 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:12,600 - Excuse me for a second. - Sure. 600 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,400 Pardon me. I had to clear. 601 00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:24,000 Yeah. 602 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,700 - So, what do you do? - I just got fired. 603 00:41:27,800 --> 00:41:30,700 - I'm sorry. - I was a phone-sex operator. 604 00:41:32,500 --> 00:41:36,600 I only lasted a week. They were jealous of me. 605 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:40,700 I heard that Heinz Hummer had a bit of a jealous streak. 606 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:42,500 I bet you're glad he's dead. 607 00:41:42,700 --> 00:41:47,500 Heinz was the most gentle man I ever knew. 608 00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:51,600 I miss him and his mangina. 609 00:41:53,500 --> 00:41:55,600 I can't take it anymore. 610 00:41:57,400 --> 00:42:00,300 I'm sorry. I can see that you really liked Heinz. 611 00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,900 - Here, let me get that for you. - Thanks. 612 00:42:11,600 --> 00:42:14,600 - Let's go. - I think I'm gonna puke. 613 00:42:14,800 --> 00:42:17,800 I started smoking again when I lost my job. 614 00:42:18,100 --> 00:42:21,700 If I don't find another one pretty soon, I'm gonna lose my house. 615 00:42:21,900 --> 00:42:24,500 Well, we'll just have to find you a new one. 616 00:42:25,100 --> 00:42:28,900 - Relax. Have some wine. - Thanks. 617 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,500 I don't normally drink red wine so... 618 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,500 I have hiccups. 619 00:42:50,500 --> 00:42:53,600 - Gone down the wrong hole, I think. - Check, please. 620 00:42:55,300 --> 00:42:58,600 Deuce, I can't thank you enough. 621 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:02,400 It's good for you, it's good for them. I'm just glad it worked out. 622 00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:08,100 - I better get to work. - I'll be hearing from you. 623 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:09,800 Okay. 624 00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:16,300 The white zone is for loading and unloading of vehicles only. 625 00:43:16,500 --> 00:43:19,000 There is no parking in the white zone. 626 00:43:19,100 --> 00:43:22,100 Thanks, Deuce. I had fun last night. 627 00:43:22,300 --> 00:43:23,500 The white zone... 628 00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,300 I am Rodrigo Bollas de Madera. 629 00:43:28,500 --> 00:43:32,600 I am here for my 12:30 ass-hair bleaching. 630 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:34,700 Okay. How blond do you wanna go? 631 00:43:36,300 --> 00:43:37,800 Gwyneth. 632 00:43:38,500 --> 00:43:39,800 Good choice. 633 00:43:51,300 --> 00:43:52,600 Oh, hey. 634 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:57,000 I got a real Janeane Garofalo situation back there, so go for it. 635 00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:05,400 So, Enzo... 636 00:44:05,600 --> 00:44:08,000 ...got any she-johns lined up for tonight? 637 00:44:08,200 --> 00:44:11,600 Well, I did a Chili Rainbow last night so I'm exhausted. 638 00:44:11,700 --> 00:44:15,000 What about you, Assapopulus? 639 00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:17,500 I've got the herpes so... 640 00:44:17,700 --> 00:44:19,200 What are you gonna do? 641 00:44:21,100 --> 00:44:22,300 Liar! 642 00:44:22,500 --> 00:44:25,300 - Mahmoud! - What's your excuse? 643 00:44:25,500 --> 00:44:28,600 I just realized I'm gay. 644 00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:33,100 Any of you guys want a blowjob? 645 00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:36,900 I do. 646 00:44:38,300 --> 00:44:40,000 Well... 647 00:44:40,100 --> 00:44:44,500 Okay, then. I better go put that penis in my mouth. 648 00:44:44,700 --> 00:44:47,000 You're all afraid of the Man-whore Killer. 649 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:48,600 - No. Come on. - No, we're not. 650 00:44:48,700 --> 00:44:51,700 - Get down! - I don't wanna die! 651 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:55,000 You really should find a better hiding place. 652 00:44:56,100 --> 00:44:57,700 Oh, you haven't heard. 653 00:44:58,500 --> 00:45:01,500 - Rodrigo's been killed. - No. 654 00:45:01,700 --> 00:45:05,000 Oh, my God, why? He was just having his ass hair bleached. 655 00:45:05,100 --> 00:45:07,500 He got much more than that, I can assure you. 656 00:45:11,100 --> 00:45:14,000 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very happy that Scotland Yard... 657 00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:18,300 ...has now joined the search for the gay killer, Tiberius Jefferson. 658 00:45:18,400 --> 00:45:19,900 Thank you very much. 659 00:45:21,000 --> 00:45:24,300 So how about this next one? Svetlana Revenko. 660 00:45:24,700 --> 00:45:27,200 The Russian women are a little freaky down below. 661 00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:30,800 Hair start in the front, don't end till it get to the back. 662 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,000 So if you gotta give a little mouth-to-south... 663 00:45:33,200 --> 00:45:35,000 ...put a clothespin on your nose. 664 00:45:35,700 --> 00:45:37,100 I'll keep that in mind. 665 00:45:39,700 --> 00:45:41,500 Wish me luck. 666 00:45:41,700 --> 00:45:44,700 Gasov. You mind changing that to the weather channel? 667 00:45:47,800 --> 00:45:49,500 It's gonna be cold tomorrow. 668 00:45:51,800 --> 00:45:54,300 I have been waiting for you, Mr. Bigalow. 669 00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:02,200 Aren't you afraid to work with the Man-whore Killer on the loose? 670 00:46:02,500 --> 00:46:03,800 What do you know about it? 671 00:46:03,900 --> 00:46:07,200 Apparently there's some maniac who's killing them all. 672 00:46:07,400 --> 00:46:09,800 Some people say they deserve it. What do you think? 673 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,300 I think everything happens for reason. 674 00:46:14,100 --> 00:46:16,800 You're probably wondering why I'm wearing this veil. 675 00:46:17,000 --> 00:46:20,900 I wasn't, but if you wanna talk about it, cool. 676 00:46:21,100 --> 00:46:22,500 I grew up in Chernobyl. 677 00:46:22,700 --> 00:46:23,900 Chernobyl. 678 00:46:24,900 --> 00:46:27,300 - What a pretty name. - My mother... 679 00:46:27,500 --> 00:46:31,300 ...she work in nuclear reactor when she was pregnant with me. 680 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:36,500 Instead of a nose, I was born with an appendage on my face. 681 00:46:37,800 --> 00:46:40,300 A male appendage. 682 00:46:42,700 --> 00:46:44,100 No shit? 683 00:46:45,100 --> 00:46:49,300 I have always been a little self-conscious about it. 684 00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:51,800 Well, you shouldn't. I mean... 685 00:46:51,900 --> 00:46:57,300 A lot of women would love to have a guy's dick on their face. 686 00:46:57,400 --> 00:46:59,600 Yours is just permanent. 687 00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:03,400 You are sweet. 688 00:47:04,200 --> 00:47:06,900 And very handsome for an American. 689 00:47:10,300 --> 00:47:11,800 I like you. 690 00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:22,800 I would love to hear some Latin music. 691 00:47:22,900 --> 00:47:25,200 Well, I'll see if the penis knows any. 692 00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:28,700 I mean the pianist. 693 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:31,400 The guy playing the piano. 694 00:47:33,100 --> 00:47:36,800 The band has started. Aren't we lucky? 695 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:57,800 Damn, no lipstick. 696 00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:01,100 - You smell nice. What is it? - It's Old Nice. 697 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:04,500 It's a knockoff of Old Spice. 698 00:48:04,700 --> 00:48:08,900 I like it, but I think it makes me sneeze. 699 00:48:09,200 --> 00:48:11,200 What happens when you sneeze? 700 00:48:13,500 --> 00:48:15,600 Oh, Jesus, I'm sorry. 701 00:48:16,600 --> 00:48:20,200 Oh, good Lord. Now is a good time to turn. 702 00:48:31,300 --> 00:48:32,700 Hi. 703 00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:46,800 How long are you going to be staying in Holland? 704 00:48:47,000 --> 00:48:49,200 Only until I can prove my friend T.J.'s innocent. 705 00:48:49,600 --> 00:48:51,700 Is there someone waiting for you back home? 706 00:48:53,100 --> 00:48:54,600 It's kind of hard to explain. 707 00:48:55,900 --> 00:48:57,700 Would you like to meet her? 708 00:48:58,300 --> 00:49:00,000 She's here in Amsterdam? 709 00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:02,900 It's my wife. 710 00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:07,300 I got her right here in my duffle bag. 711 00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:15,500 Kate, this is my new friend, Eva. 712 00:49:16,900 --> 00:49:19,600 She passed away a couple of years ago... 713 00:49:19,800 --> 00:49:21,900 ...and this is all I have left of her and I... 714 00:49:27,300 --> 00:49:29,400 Nice to meet you. 715 00:49:29,600 --> 00:49:34,700 She was very lucky to have someone so devoted to her. 716 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,300 Hey, can I see you when you get off work? 717 00:49:53,400 --> 00:49:57,400 Oh, you know, I'd really love to, but I'm going to be so tired. 718 00:49:57,500 --> 00:49:59,500 - Bye. - Okay. 719 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,000 Eva. Eva. 720 00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:18,000 Did you just kiss me nine times because of your OCD? 721 00:50:18,200 --> 00:50:20,800 No. It's because I like you. 722 00:50:22,700 --> 00:50:24,100 Excuse us, coming through. 723 00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:29,800 What are they doing in there, anyway? 724 00:50:30,400 --> 00:50:32,200 They're making a movie. 725 00:50:32,300 --> 00:50:34,800 Cool. What kind of movie? 726 00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,600 - I better get to work. - Okay. 727 00:50:42,900 --> 00:50:45,400 In there? You work in there? 728 00:50:46,300 --> 00:50:49,400 - Yeah. Well... - Hi, Eva. Great work yesterday. 729 00:50:49,600 --> 00:50:51,800 - Thank you. - Eva. Eva. Listen... 730 00:50:51,900 --> 00:50:55,400 ...we really need you on the set. All the guys are waiting. 731 00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:58,900 - All the guys? - Yeah. I can't keep them waiting. 732 00:50:59,100 --> 00:51:00,300 Bye, Deuce. 733 00:51:01,300 --> 00:51:03,800 I'll put your name on the list. 734 00:51:19,900 --> 00:51:21,400 Hey, whoa, whoa. 735 00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:23,300 Back of the line, buddy. 736 00:51:23,500 --> 00:51:26,200 Trust me, she's worth the wait. 737 00:51:30,300 --> 00:51:31,900 It's a closed set, you can't come in. 738 00:51:32,100 --> 00:51:33,500 Like hell I can't. 739 00:51:34,900 --> 00:51:36,700 Get off her, you little freak! 740 00:51:45,200 --> 00:51:46,900 Eva, you don't have to do this. 741 00:51:49,700 --> 00:51:53,200 Hey, I agreed to one midget, not two! 742 00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:57,400 Deuce? 743 00:51:58,300 --> 00:52:00,100 Eva, you don't have to do this. 744 00:52:00,600 --> 00:52:01,800 Do what? 745 00:52:02,700 --> 00:52:04,800 - This. - What? 746 00:52:06,500 --> 00:52:08,000 This. 747 00:52:10,800 --> 00:52:12,200 You painted that? 748 00:52:13,000 --> 00:52:15,100 I'm a scenic artist. 749 00:52:15,300 --> 00:52:17,500 So that's what you do here. 750 00:52:20,800 --> 00:52:22,800 Hey, little friend. I guess I owe you a big... 751 00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:29,400 Stoner Steve here! Who wants to get high? Stoner Steve! 752 00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:31,800 - T.J., is that you? - Quiet, you dumb prosti-dude. 753 00:52:31,900 --> 00:52:34,400 I've went out with every girl on that list in Holland. 754 00:52:34,600 --> 00:52:37,700 - Find the rest of those bitches. - Those women live in other countries. 755 00:52:37,900 --> 00:52:42,200 Goddamn, white boy! Pack up that snatch-pole and go find the real killer! 756 00:52:42,300 --> 00:52:44,900 Stoner Steve! Stoner Steve Café! 757 00:52:56,100 --> 00:52:57,200 Hi. 758 00:52:58,600 --> 00:52:59,700 Hi. 759 00:54:02,100 --> 00:54:03,600 Hey, look at that. 760 00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:05,300 Look at that, right there. 761 00:54:16,700 --> 00:54:18,100 Are you sure? 762 00:54:48,700 --> 00:54:50,000 T.J., there you are. 763 00:54:50,200 --> 00:54:52,400 The girl with the giant ears heard Heinz talking... 764 00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:56,000 ...about some photo in the man-whore society. We gotta get in there. 765 00:54:56,200 --> 00:54:59,400 - Why aren't you in disguise? - I'm in disguise. 766 00:55:00,100 --> 00:55:01,600 I'm in blackface. 767 00:55:02,500 --> 00:55:04,500 - But you're black. - Yeah, but I'm disguised... 768 00:55:04,700 --> 00:55:06,400 ...as a different black guy. 769 00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:08,600 - You look the same. - What you trying to say? 770 00:55:08,800 --> 00:55:11,000 - We all look alike? - No, that's not it. 771 00:55:11,100 --> 00:55:14,400 You're such a racist. I got half a mind to stop helping you save me. 772 00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:16,500 Come on. Jeez, let's go. 773 00:55:23,100 --> 00:55:26,700 Excuse me. This is a private club. Man-whores only. 774 00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:29,800 Hey, I'm a real good man-whore. Just go ask your mama. 775 00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:34,500 Still. I'm going to have to ask you to leave. 776 00:55:34,800 --> 00:55:37,400 That's what your mama said after I bang her. 777 00:55:39,900 --> 00:55:41,300 Okay, that's it. 778 00:55:41,500 --> 00:55:42,900 Go, go, go! 779 00:55:48,300 --> 00:55:50,600 Hey, your mama is in here. 780 00:55:50,800 --> 00:55:52,500 It's okay. I know what I'm talking about. 781 00:55:52,700 --> 00:55:56,300 If you're going to stick two in there, you're gonna need a lot of lubricant. 782 00:55:56,700 --> 00:55:58,600 I know what I'm talking about, huh? 783 00:55:58,800 --> 00:56:00,500 Okay, I gotta go now, Ma. 784 00:56:28,900 --> 00:56:30,600 Hey, this thing is locked. 785 00:56:39,600 --> 00:56:42,800 Man! I only heard about this place. 786 00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,800 This is where man-whoring all started. 787 00:56:47,400 --> 00:56:49,800 Check it out. You know who this is? 788 00:56:49,900 --> 00:56:52,300 He was the first guy to keep from shooting his load... 789 00:56:52,500 --> 00:56:53,700 ...by thinking about sports. 790 00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:59,500 This guy, here? Baron Von Doggy Style. 791 00:56:59,600 --> 00:57:02,200 Led a pimping expedition to the Arctic Circle. 792 00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,900 Froze to death sixty-nining a moose. 793 00:57:05,100 --> 00:57:08,200 The only thing left of him is this stick... 794 00:57:08,300 --> 00:57:11,500 ...which he used to bitch-slap Eskimos. 795 00:57:16,400 --> 00:57:19,800 Now, this brother here, Kunta Kuntlicker. 796 00:57:20,300 --> 00:57:23,000 He's the Jackie Robinson of ass-eating. 797 00:57:25,900 --> 00:57:27,400 Vladmir Suckmeov. 798 00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,600 The first man-ho in space. They were studying... 799 00:57:30,800 --> 00:57:33,100 ...the effects of zero gravity on the reach-around. 800 00:57:33,300 --> 00:57:37,200 - Will you cut it out? - I'm sorry. This is my Graceland. 801 00:57:39,700 --> 00:57:42,200 Hey. Wait a minute. Hey, check this out. 802 00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:47,500 That's the blond lady with the leopard coat. This must be the killer. 803 00:57:49,300 --> 00:57:52,000 So, what are you going to wear to the Man-whore Awards? 804 00:57:52,200 --> 00:57:55,700 I thought I'd go with a tux and satin chaps with my ass-plug cuff link... 805 00:57:57,100 --> 00:58:00,200 - You left the trophy case open again. - Whoa, papa, that wasn't me. 806 00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:01,800 Deucey. 807 00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:05,400 - I gotta fart. - You gotta what? 808 00:58:05,600 --> 00:58:08,100 - I gotta fart. - Well, hold it. 809 00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:11,700 I hear something. 810 00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:18,400 I think the building is squeaking. 811 00:58:18,700 --> 00:58:20,300 Maybe it's a bird. 812 00:58:26,800 --> 00:58:28,300 You idiot! 813 00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:33,500 - Go. - Bigalow! 814 00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:36,900 Security! Stop them! 815 00:58:38,900 --> 00:58:40,500 T.J. 816 00:58:53,600 --> 00:58:55,600 - Move the curtain! - What the hell? 817 00:58:55,700 --> 00:58:57,300 Somebody smoked a he-bitch! 818 00:58:59,800 --> 00:59:02,400 - Enzo? He kill Enzo. - No, no, I didn't do it. 819 00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:04,600 What is that? 820 00:59:05,700 --> 00:59:08,100 That is not a dick in my hand. 821 00:59:08,300 --> 00:59:12,300 Anybody got some antibacterial gel? I got burnt dick on my hand. 822 00:59:20,300 --> 00:59:22,200 Eva. Eva. 823 00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:24,700 - I'm in the shower. - T.J.'s been arrested. 824 00:59:24,800 --> 00:59:27,300 I can't hear you! I'll be out in a minute! 825 00:59:27,400 --> 00:59:31,100 In his gayest murder yet, the homosexual Man-whore Killer... 826 00:59:31,300 --> 00:59:33,900 ...murdered famed gigolo Enzo Giarraputo. 827 00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:38,800 Our meteorologist Truus is sick today. Filling in is Henk van de Berg. 828 01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:30,800 What's the matter? Why are you looking at me like that? 829 01:00:31,000 --> 01:00:32,500 Like what? 830 01:00:43,300 --> 01:00:46,300 I'll get that. I was a Boy Scout for almost a week. 831 01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:50,400 So is your uncle home? 832 01:00:50,900 --> 01:00:53,900 No. We're completely alone. 833 01:00:55,200 --> 01:00:56,900 Would you like some cheese? 834 01:00:57,000 --> 01:00:58,400 I'm lactose intolerant. 835 01:00:59,100 --> 01:01:01,000 Why are you so jumpy? 836 01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:03,300 Maybe I can help you relax. 837 01:01:08,000 --> 01:01:09,800 You're shaking. 838 01:01:11,400 --> 01:01:12,900 Maybe it's because I'm cold. 839 01:01:13,400 --> 01:01:15,000 I can fix that. 840 01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:17,500 Why don't you pour us a drink. 841 01:01:22,500 --> 01:01:26,100 So I guess we're all alone, huh? 842 01:01:27,800 --> 01:01:29,300 Yes. 843 01:01:30,800 --> 01:01:33,100 Deuce. You're scaring me. 844 01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:35,000 Eva. 845 01:01:37,500 --> 01:01:42,400 Listen, everything I'm about to do is because I really care for you. 846 01:01:43,100 --> 01:01:44,400 Oh, Deuce. 847 01:01:44,900 --> 01:01:46,300 Now, I don't know why... 848 01:01:48,100 --> 01:01:52,100 I don't know why you've done this, but I'm gonna give you everything I've got. 849 01:02:19,800 --> 01:02:21,200 Deuce? 850 01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:32,700 - Don't go in there. Stop! - Gaspar. Gaspar. 851 01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:36,200 I know who the killer is. I know who the killer is. 852 01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:44,200 I know who the killer is. 853 01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:47,400 I knew sooner or later someone would figure it out. 854 01:02:52,700 --> 01:02:55,000 I'm sorry I have to be the one to tell you. 855 01:02:59,900 --> 01:03:01,400 It's Eva. 856 01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:04,500 It's Eva? 857 01:03:06,400 --> 01:03:08,500 You mean my niece Eva? 858 01:03:08,700 --> 01:03:10,700 I know it sounds crazy... 859 01:03:10,900 --> 01:03:13,800 ...but I found the lipstick. The same lipstick the killer used. 860 01:03:14,000 --> 01:03:18,000 Shimmer Lavender Love number 66, at your house. 861 01:03:18,100 --> 01:03:22,000 And you found it in the pocket of a trench coat hanging in the closet? 862 01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:26,100 Exactly. Plus, I heard her whistling the same song I heard the killer whistle. 863 01:03:26,300 --> 01:03:27,700 Like: 864 01:03:34,800 --> 01:03:37,400 Now, you tell me. Why would anyone but the killer... 865 01:03:37,600 --> 01:03:40,900 ...be whistling that specific song? The odds would be astronomical. 866 01:03:41,100 --> 01:03:42,900 Maybe the song got stuck in her head... 867 01:03:43,100 --> 01:03:45,400 ...because she overheard the real killer whistling it. 868 01:03:45,600 --> 01:03:47,700 And maybe the real killer is someone... 869 01:03:48,700 --> 01:03:52,300 ...very near and dear to her, though she doesn't realize. 870 01:03:53,700 --> 01:03:57,600 Sure. Or maybe the Hamburglar did it and escaped with the Great Pumpkin. 871 01:03:58,200 --> 01:04:01,500 Look, I understand this must be very difficult for you... 872 01:04:01,700 --> 01:04:04,300 ...to be out-thunk by a civilian like myself. 873 01:04:04,500 --> 01:04:06,500 But we have to put our egos aside right now... 874 01:04:06,700 --> 01:04:08,100 ...and do what's best for Eva. 875 01:04:08,300 --> 01:04:10,400 She's clearly ill and she needs our help. 876 01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:12,000 You're absolutely right. 877 01:04:12,200 --> 01:04:15,500 You know, the only thing I can't think of is motive. 878 01:04:15,700 --> 01:04:17,900 I mean, what could she have against man-whores? 879 01:04:18,100 --> 01:04:22,700 Maybe because they represent a decline of this once glorious city... 880 01:04:22,800 --> 01:04:25,900 ...which has become a new Sodom and Gomorrah for rich college kids... 881 01:04:26,100 --> 01:04:29,200 ...to smoke hash, to fornicate with Venezuelan hookers... 882 01:04:29,300 --> 01:04:33,300 ...or to defecate on our historic cobblestone streets. 883 01:04:33,500 --> 01:04:36,100 They don't defecate on the streets. 884 01:04:41,200 --> 01:04:44,500 Well, how do you know he's a tourist? I mean, he could be a local. 885 01:04:49,900 --> 01:04:51,300 Where is Eva now? 886 01:04:52,500 --> 01:04:54,300 She's at your house. 887 01:04:54,500 --> 01:04:56,100 Good. 888 01:05:03,500 --> 01:05:05,600 Do you really think you need all those weapons? 889 01:05:05,800 --> 01:05:07,800 She doesn't seem that dangerous. 890 01:05:08,100 --> 01:05:11,800 - You're not gonna hurt her, are you? - You can never be too careful. 891 01:05:13,800 --> 01:05:17,600 - That poor guy. - What a dipshit. 892 01:05:18,400 --> 01:05:20,200 Tonight, the sexually-inadequate men of Europe can breathe easy... 893 01:05:20,200 --> 01:05:21,900 Tonight, the sexually-inadequate men of Europe can breathe easy... 894 01:05:22,100 --> 01:05:26,000 ...safe in the knowledge that all of the continent's finest gigolos... 895 01:05:26,200 --> 01:05:29,500 ...are right here under one roof, all asking: 896 01:05:29,700 --> 01:05:33,700 "Who is gonna walk away with the Golden Boner?" 897 01:05:33,800 --> 01:05:37,500 In this car, we have Assapopulus and his date for the evening. 898 01:05:37,600 --> 01:05:39,200 - Damn it. - His mother. 899 01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:43,200 She's the woman that made me start into prostitution... 900 01:05:43,300 --> 01:05:46,500 ...made me go into prostitution. I wanted to become a doctor, but... 901 01:05:46,700 --> 01:05:48,600 Uncle, you home? 902 01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:52,600 What a beautiful couple, mother and man-whore. 903 01:05:53,900 --> 01:05:55,900 "Man-Whore Awards"? 904 01:05:56,500 --> 01:05:59,300 Please welcome your host for this evening. Johnny Vaughan. 905 01:05:59,500 --> 01:06:04,000 Thank you very much. Can I just say, ladies, gentlemen, man-whores... 906 01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:09,000 ...a night where we celebrate guys who can get wood no matter what. 907 01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:11,000 Do you know, they have gay-pride days. 908 01:06:11,300 --> 01:06:13,600 - Oh, my God. - Yes. 909 01:06:16,300 --> 01:06:19,600 - I'm going to kill them all. - But why? 910 01:06:19,800 --> 01:06:22,900 Don't you see what's happening to our country? 911 01:06:27,600 --> 01:06:29,900 But it's murder. 912 01:06:31,600 --> 01:06:36,300 During the final number, when these man-whores are gathered on-stage... 913 01:06:36,400 --> 01:06:38,800 ...I push this little button and: 914 01:06:40,000 --> 01:06:42,200 Bye-bye, gigolos. 915 01:06:42,300 --> 01:06:47,000 Shouldn't be that hard to pin the crime on your good friend Deuce Bigalow. 916 01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:48,400 I won't let you! 917 01:06:51,300 --> 01:06:53,300 If you wanna stop me... 918 01:06:56,000 --> 01:06:59,300 ...it's as simple as touching this doorknob. 919 01:07:05,100 --> 01:07:08,000 - Where's Eva? - Eva's gone to the Man-whore Awards. 920 01:07:08,200 --> 01:07:10,700 - I'm going there too. - I'm coming with you. 921 01:07:11,400 --> 01:07:14,800 Yes. Yes, you should be there too. 922 01:07:29,100 --> 01:07:30,400 Now let me give you all the lowdown on T.J. 923 01:07:30,400 --> 01:07:31,700 Now let me give you all the lowdown on T.J. 924 01:07:31,900 --> 01:07:37,100 In Thailand, I got a job in a carnival sideshow, eating broken glass. 925 01:07:37,300 --> 01:07:41,000 We did six shows a day. That's a lot of broken glass. 926 01:07:41,200 --> 01:07:44,500 And it's all collected in the lining of my anus. 927 01:07:45,100 --> 01:07:49,000 My ass is like one big, nasty cheese grater. 928 01:07:51,000 --> 01:07:54,000 Here to perform his signature move, the Chili Rainbow... 929 01:07:54,100 --> 01:07:58,700 ...would you please welcome Assapopulus Borealis. 930 01:08:22,500 --> 01:08:23,900 Deuce! 931 01:08:24,100 --> 01:08:25,700 Deuce! Right here! 932 01:08:25,900 --> 01:08:28,200 - Hey, Eva's right behind us. - Deuce, stop! 933 01:08:30,800 --> 01:08:32,800 What are you doing? She's right back there. 934 01:08:34,100 --> 01:08:36,000 - He's the killer! - What? 935 01:08:36,200 --> 01:08:37,600 You're with the killer! 936 01:08:37,800 --> 01:08:40,300 - I'm with the dealer? - He's the Man-whore Killer! 937 01:08:40,500 --> 01:08:42,300 Eighteen-wheeler? 938 01:08:43,200 --> 01:08:44,600 My uncle is the killer! 939 01:08:45,400 --> 01:08:48,300 Oh! I'm with the... You're the k... 940 01:08:48,400 --> 01:08:51,900 She says that I am the killer, you stupido. 941 01:08:57,600 --> 01:08:59,900 But why? What did man-whores ever do to you? 942 01:09:00,100 --> 01:09:01,800 What did they do to me? 943 01:09:03,200 --> 01:09:06,600 All my life I dreamed of being one thing: A gigolo. 944 01:09:06,800 --> 01:09:09,100 Yes, me. Gaspar Voorsboch. 945 01:09:10,500 --> 01:09:13,900 I'll never forget that day. Never. 946 01:09:14,100 --> 01:09:16,900 It was my first semester at Man-whore University. 947 01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:18,400 Now, today, class... 948 01:09:18,600 --> 01:09:23,200 ...we shall learn how to give a lady a proper Portuguese Breakfast. 949 01:09:23,400 --> 01:09:25,900 You take an egg and you crack it. 950 01:09:26,400 --> 01:09:28,500 You mix them up. 951 01:09:28,600 --> 01:09:31,600 Now, this is a good chance to sweet-talk the client. 952 01:09:32,000 --> 01:09:34,200 - And? - And we pour that in there. 953 01:09:34,400 --> 01:09:38,000 - Beautiful. Very nice, now. And... - And don't forget the Canadian bacon. 954 01:09:38,200 --> 01:09:39,900 Canadian bacon. I was getting to that. 955 01:09:40,100 --> 01:09:42,300 - What are you doing? - It's a penis enlarger. 956 01:09:42,500 --> 01:09:44,600 Just a few pumps and it gets your thing bigger. 957 01:09:44,800 --> 01:09:46,800 You mind if I give myself a few pumps? 958 01:09:46,900 --> 01:09:48,300 Go nuts. 959 01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:50,600 There we go. So there you have it. 960 01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:54,200 Tell me. How was your Portuguese Breakfast? 961 01:09:54,400 --> 01:09:55,900 Delicious. 962 01:09:56,100 --> 01:09:58,300 - Elsa? - Gaspar? 963 01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:07,200 They knew she was my fiancée. 964 01:10:07,300 --> 01:10:09,800 And tonight I will get my revenge. 965 01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:18,300 Leave it! 966 01:10:29,800 --> 01:10:32,800 I'm from Canada and I'm wasted! 967 01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:36,300 - Are you all right? - Yeah. 968 01:10:36,500 --> 01:10:38,500 - Are you okay? - Stop! Stop! 969 01:10:38,700 --> 01:10:40,300 Police business. 970 01:10:40,900 --> 01:10:42,200 Come on, we gotta stop him. 971 01:10:43,500 --> 01:10:46,000 Stop! Stop! Man-whore business. 972 01:10:46,100 --> 01:10:48,800 Before we present the award for Man-whore of the Year... 973 01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:53,100 ...let's take a moment to honor those gigolos who have recently passed. 974 01:11:12,200 --> 01:11:15,000 Hey, Daddy. I was looking in your underwear drawer and I found... 975 01:11:15,300 --> 01:11:16,800 ...this bracelet. 976 01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:20,900 Holy mother of God. That's not a bracelet, boy. 977 01:11:21,100 --> 01:11:24,900 That is a device that your daddy has to wear on his he... 978 01:11:25,200 --> 01:11:26,400 His he... 979 01:11:26,600 --> 01:11:28,800 His he... 980 01:11:30,100 --> 01:11:32,400 Happy birthday, son, you got a bracelet. 981 01:11:32,600 --> 01:11:33,900 Great. 982 01:11:35,700 --> 01:11:36,900 Let's go. Come on. 983 01:11:37,000 --> 01:11:38,900 Now the award you've all been waiting for: 984 01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:40,500 The Man-whore of the Year. 985 01:11:40,700 --> 01:11:43,500 Listen. Go get help. I'll get all the gigolos off the stage. 986 01:11:43,700 --> 01:11:45,600 Okay. Good luck. 987 01:11:46,300 --> 01:11:47,500 Excuse me. 988 01:11:47,700 --> 01:11:50,300 You have to get off the stage now or you'll all be killed! 989 01:11:50,400 --> 01:11:53,300 Get the hell out of here, Douche, before I have you thrown out. 990 01:11:53,300 --> 01:11:56,000 - There's a bomb on the stage! - You idiot. 991 01:11:56,200 --> 01:11:58,000 You're all gonna die! 992 01:11:59,000 --> 01:12:01,100 I'm the Man-whore Killer. This is a bomb! 993 01:12:01,300 --> 01:12:04,700 Everybody out! Everybody get out! 994 01:12:04,800 --> 01:12:06,600 You gotta get out of here! 995 01:12:11,700 --> 01:12:14,700 You'll die with the rest of them, Bigalow. 996 01:12:17,100 --> 01:12:20,500 Those gigolos robbed me of my manhood. 997 01:12:20,700 --> 01:12:24,900 I was never able to satisfy a woman. I'll see to it that they won't either. 998 01:12:30,000 --> 01:12:34,300 You don't have to kill anyone, Gaspar. Because you can please a woman. 999 01:12:35,700 --> 01:12:38,000 Those gigolos don't know what they're talking about. 1000 01:12:38,200 --> 01:12:40,100 Is he talking about us? 1001 01:12:44,300 --> 01:12:46,000 Do you really think all a woman wants... 1002 01:12:46,200 --> 01:12:48,200 ...is some guy to give her a Mud Pretzel... 1003 01:12:48,400 --> 01:12:51,500 ...or Turkish Snow Cone or an Irish Facial? 1004 01:12:52,800 --> 01:12:55,600 - Yes, they do, liar. - No, they don't. 1005 01:12:56,500 --> 01:13:00,300 A woman wants a guy who'll ask her about her day and really listen to her. 1006 01:13:00,500 --> 01:13:02,500 - Or at least pretend to. - Yes. 1007 01:13:02,900 --> 01:13:04,400 What? 1008 01:13:04,600 --> 01:13:06,300 When she's hurting... 1009 01:13:06,500 --> 01:13:08,100 ...ask her how she feels. 1010 01:13:09,400 --> 01:13:11,700 - Cry with her. - Yeah! 1011 01:13:11,800 --> 01:13:13,800 These gigolos are just ripping women off! 1012 01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:18,800 I've never had any complaint from any of those freaks! 1013 01:13:21,300 --> 01:13:23,000 I faked it. 1014 01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:27,500 A woman doesn't care if you wear a Rolex watch... 1015 01:13:27,700 --> 01:13:30,200 ...or have a gigantic schlong like Heinz Hummer. 1016 01:13:31,200 --> 01:13:33,000 This guy knows his shit. 1017 01:13:36,500 --> 01:13:38,100 What are you doing? 1018 01:13:39,500 --> 01:13:41,400 Anyone else? 1019 01:13:46,800 --> 01:13:50,300 If you let a woman know you care, maybe she'll give you an Irish Facial. 1020 01:14:00,500 --> 01:14:03,400 We will die together, man-whore. 1021 01:14:05,100 --> 01:14:08,200 - You don't have to do this. - They ruined my life. 1022 01:14:08,400 --> 01:14:11,600 - Give me the detonator. - No. 1023 01:14:11,800 --> 01:14:13,600 My penis exploded. 1024 01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:17,300 Okay, that's a tough one. I'll give you that. 1025 01:14:19,000 --> 01:14:23,100 But having a penis is way overrated. Trust me. 1026 01:14:24,900 --> 01:14:27,100 No. No. 1027 01:14:27,200 --> 01:14:28,800 Gaspar! 1028 01:14:37,600 --> 01:14:39,300 Are you okay? 1029 01:14:41,500 --> 01:14:43,500 We did it. 1030 01:14:49,400 --> 01:14:51,700 That's the grossest thing I've ever seen. 1031 01:14:51,800 --> 01:14:53,900 And I've seen some pretty gross things. 1032 01:14:54,000 --> 01:14:54,800 - In the car. - Put your head down. 1033 01:14:54,800 --> 01:14:55,500 - In the car. - Put your head down. 1034 01:14:55,700 --> 01:14:57,600 I'll be seeing you again, man-whore. 1035 01:14:58,800 --> 01:15:02,600 Deuce, you saved the Man-whore Society. 1036 01:15:03,300 --> 01:15:05,000 The Golden Boner belongs to you. 1037 01:15:05,300 --> 01:15:07,600 Thanks. I'm... That's very... 1038 01:15:08,900 --> 01:15:10,600 This belongs to you too. 1039 01:15:12,300 --> 01:15:14,100 Hang it to the left. 1040 01:15:14,600 --> 01:15:16,300 You gonna eat that? 1041 01:15:16,400 --> 01:15:18,800 - Knock yourself out. - Thank you. 1042 01:15:21,900 --> 01:15:25,300 So I guess this means you're a real gigolo now. 1043 01:15:25,500 --> 01:15:27,300 I don't want you to treat me differently. 1044 01:15:27,400 --> 01:15:29,400 How much would you charge me for a kiss? 1045 01:15:29,800 --> 01:15:31,900 Well, the first one's always free. 1046 01:15:36,400 --> 01:15:38,900 - Deuce! - What? 1047 01:15:39,500 --> 01:15:41,200 Oh, no. No, it's... 1048 01:15:41,300 --> 01:15:43,000 It's just this. 1049 01:16:05,200 --> 01:16:07,100 Deucey! 1050 01:16:07,300 --> 01:16:08,900 Thank you, Jesus. 1051 01:16:09,800 --> 01:16:11,300 Did anybody hurt you in there? 1052 01:16:12,500 --> 01:16:15,800 Oh, you asking if I got ass-punked. Is that what's happening right now? 1053 01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:20,600 - Not if you don't wanna talk about it. - Well, turns out I'm not that attractive. 1054 01:16:20,800 --> 01:16:22,500 Well, you've been cleared of murder... 1055 01:16:22,700 --> 01:16:25,100 - ...but people still think you're gay. - Hey, hey, hey. 1056 01:16:25,300 --> 01:16:27,400 Don't tell nobody I'm not gay. Look at it: 1057 01:16:27,600 --> 01:16:30,400 T.J., the gay man's pimp. 1058 01:16:30,600 --> 01:16:33,400 I mean, I'm gonna corner the market. Check out my new bitches. 1059 01:16:33,600 --> 01:16:35,700 - Hello, darling. - Hi, sweetie. 1060 01:16:35,800 --> 01:16:37,400 Love you. 1061 01:16:39,300 --> 01:16:41,000 Let's get chicken and waffles. My treat. 1062 01:16:41,100 --> 01:16:44,500 So the first thing a brother wants out of prison is chicken and waffles? 1063 01:16:44,600 --> 01:16:46,900 - Oh, come on. - Get your she-cocks back to work. 1064 01:16:47,305 --> 01:17:47,599 The best IPTV also in 2022 WWW.ALLIN1BOX.CO.UK 81932

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