All language subtitles for 6.Month.Rule.2011.720p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX] eng

(dramatic music)

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- I just, I think I'm not ready.

- Is this how it was
with those other women?

You get bored, scared or whatever,

create a little drama so
that you feel justified

in walking out of a good relationship?

(acoustic pop music)

- I just, I don't think it's
supposed to be this hard.

I mean, we fight all the time.

- We don't fight.

- We fought tonight.

♪ 'Cause if it's not all right ♪

♪ 'Cause if I need a friend ♪

♪ But I bought you something nice ♪

- What?
- What?

It's not you, okay?

You're great.

- I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay.

- Okay.

♪ So when the word is turned ♪

♪ Will I ever know ♪

- You okay?

- No.

(camera shutting clicking)

- Perfect.

Forget it.

- Fuck you, Tyler.

Fuck you.

- Here we go.

Can he do it, can he do it?

- I pity you.

You know why?

Because you're a cynical, shallow coward

and you're gonna die alone.

Alone!

Thanks for wasting my time.

♪ Crawling all alone ♪

♪ So here we go again ♪

♪ As if I didn't care ♪

♪ I might as well pretend ♪

♪ 'Cause I bought you something nice ♪

- Sold out.

Cool.

♪ I got you something warm ♪

(lyrics muffled)

- There's some good shots in there.

- What?

- The book, it's really good.

- Okay.

- I'm coming off as creepy, sorry.

The reason that I'm the stranger

standing here in the photography section

of this bookstore talking to you,

is that that's my book.

And you're looking at my book,

and I thought that was cool.

- This is your book?

- Yes.

- You're Tyler Watts.

- I am Tyler Watts, yes.

- Nice picture.

- Thank you.

- Hmm, so is this like a thing you do,

you come here and wait for
girls to pick up your book?

- Oh no, I don't come
here to pick up girls.

I come here, wait, this
is embarrassing too.

I'm okay with it.

I come here to see if
anybody bought my book.

There are seven, see,

and if they're less than seven,

then somebody's bought one.

- Are there ever?

- Ever what?

- Less than seven?

- There used to be eight.

Somebody bought one on January 10th, 2007.

- Oh, that was a long time ago.

- I peaked early.

- Do you still shoot?

- You know, Hut Hut Hamburger,
the chain restaurant?

The little pictures of food on the menu?

That was me.

It's pathetic.

- Are you drunk?

- No.

Yes, slightly.

- This a regular drunken activity for you?

- I'm gonna be honest with you.

It's happened before.

- Uh oh.
- What?

- Five-O.

- Five, oh.

- Hey man, did you put
these books over there?

- No.
- Yeah, you did.

You put these books in
the clearance section.

Why would you do that?

'Cause it's fucking weird.

Do you not like books
about spoons or something?

- It's just a bunch of pictures of spoons.

- Yeah.

- No, no, I don't like it.

- Fucking weird.

- Having a late night?

- It's early yet.

- Have you been drinking?

- Hardly at all.

- You look like you've been
having a bookstore night.

- You don't tell people
about that, do you?

- Oh, my sensitive little artist.

- Yeah.

Seriously, don't tell people about that.

(moaning)

- You leaving?

- You know the rules.

- Oh right, the rules.

How silly of me, I forgot.

So when did you break up with the ad exec?

- Last night.

- Wow, well you're consistent at least.

- Where is my shirt?

- Living room.
- Living room.

- So how long was this one?

- Four months-ish.

- Hi.

- Yeah.

- You know we've been doing
this for two years now?

- That is absolutely my
longest relationship.

- Me too.

God, me too.

Do you think that's weird?

- What?

- That the longest
relationship either one of us

has ever had is a totally uncommitted one?

- You've been reading self-help
books again, I can tell.

- This ad exec.

I mean, what was wrong with her, really?

- She was corny, I didn't like it.

And she laughed way too loud.

- That's a huge rationalization.

- I didn't think she'd take it so bad.

- Well, she was in love with you.

(phone ringing)

- [Tyler] Hey Alan.

- [Alan] Hey, Ty.

- [Tyler] What's up man?

- Can you, look, I really need

to talk to you about something.

- This is the best
thing that could happen.

- I disagree.

- No, I'm serious.

She's out of your life.

You are back on the market.

- This is a disaster, Ty.

- You are about to upgrade, my friend.

- I really don't think you understand

the depth of my heartache.

- I understand, and I
feel bad, I really do,

but I wish you would snap out of this.

Look, girls come and go.

That's just how it works.

Friendship, that's the only lasting thing.

It's a rule.

- A rule?

That's what need.

I really loved her.

- Well, you know who else you loved.

Elizabeth?

Who was the redhead?

- Harriet.
- Harriet.

And where are they?

- I don't know.

- And who's standing here next to you?

- You are.
- I am.

That's right.

Friendship, it's the important thing.

Not some bitch who walked all over you

and then kicked you to the curb.

- She didn't walk all over
me and kick me to the curb.

Don't call her a bitch either.

- Hey Kenny.

- Yeah.

- One word you would
use to describe Claire.

- Who's Claire?

- Alan's ex.

- Oh, the chick who used to
order the mojitos all the time?

- Yep.

- Bitch.

- Thank you.

- Great, no, thank you.

- Hey, let me ask you a stupid question.

You got the ring back, right?

- Don't do this.

- Alan Alan Alan.
- Don't do this.

- Look me and the eye

and tell me you got that
engagement ring back, man.

- That was a gift.

- Oh my God.

You have clearly lost your mind.

- Boys, this one's on me.

- Need that.

- Alan, here's to getting
rid of the mojito bitch.

You guys have any idea

how long it takes me to
make a fucking mojito?

- Jesus, will you give her a break?

She has a sophisticated palate.

- Where you staying?

- Staying on the couch.

- Whose couch, her couch?

No, no, no, no.

- Yeah, I'm staying on
our couch, big deal.

- You can stay on my couch.

- Why would I do that?

- You'd rather stay with the
girl who broke your heart

and desperately wants you out of her life.

- God, have a heart.

- Listen to me, I'm
gonna tell you the truth,

and it's gonna hurt.

She did not break up with you

because she's going through a tough time,

or whatever other bullshit she told you.

- Yeah, yeah, she really does.

She just needs some time to

clear her head.

- Clear her head.

There are two reasons
why someone breaks up

with their significant other.

Okay, the first and most common,

they really want to fuck somebody else.

- Jesus.

- The second is they've
developed so much disdain

for their significant other,

that they can't stand to
look at their face anymore.

Actually the second one
usually manifests itself

because they secretly want
to fuck somebody else.

So in reality, I guess
there's only one reason.

- You really could have
not said any of that

and I'd be better off.

- Look, she's gonna hate
you, or she's gonna pity you.

If you stay in that house
with her, it will be both.

- Oh God, okay.

All right, man.

I'll pack up my stuff

and I'll come over tomorrow after work.

- It's a good call.

You okay?

- I think I'm gonna puke.

- Okay.

(phone ringing)

- What?

- Hey, where the hell have you
been, I've been calling you.

- Yeah, I've been ignoring
you, what do you want?

- Are you with a girl? You're
with a girl, aren't you?

Oh baby, 2:15 in the afternoon.

She's a blonde, isn't she?

- You are really wrecking
my afternoon here.

- All right look, have you ever heard

of a little periodical
called The Underground?

- Yeah, it's the weekly rag, right?

- Ouch, I'm sorry,

your ignorance has just
hurt my ear a little bit.

The Underground my friend,
it's hip, it's hot,

it's edgy, it makes careers.

- What do you want me to do,
get a subscription or what?

- No, I want you to do a spread for it.

- With what food group will I be dealing?

- Nope, no food groups.

A person, a rockstar.

Well, an up and coming rockstar.

- Wait, what are you talking about?

- Julian Bowers, singer-songwriter.

- I don't know him.

- Well, he knows you.

His label's publicist just called.

He loves your work,

he wants you to do the photo
shoot in The Underground.

He says you and he had the same voice.

- Do you think he saw in my book?

I bet he saw my book, huh?

- Well, either that or
he really liked that shot

of the chicken pieces you did.

His label is calling to set up
a meeting sometime this week,

and I'm gonna email you his songs,

and I want you to listen
to them Tyler, okay?

Don't fuck this up.

- You did good, Paulie.

- That's what I wanted to hear.

Hey, Tyler, bang that blonde once for me.

- I sure will.

- Good news?

- Yeah.

(pop music)

(lyrics muffled)

- Groovy bookstore guy.

- Innocent bystander.

- You know, they kicked
me out of the bookstore

after you left, because they
thought we were in cahoots.

- Oh no.
- Oh yeah.

- I'm really sorry about that.

- That's okay, it's kind of awesome.

I've been kicked out of anywhere before.

It gives me street cred.

- It does actually.

It wasn't my best moment.

- Actually, it was kind of endearing.

- You think, really?

- Oh no, not as much as
it was pathetic, but.

- Right, right, sure.

Ouch.

- What are you listening to?

- Oh, some poppy,
hipster, wannabe rockstar.

I'm shooting him for The Underground.

- Right, right, you're a photo boy.

You got some girly drink on
your coat there photo boy.

- Oh well, that's embarrassing.

Girly drink?

Are you disparaging the
iced blended coffee,

the thinking man's Icee?

- Disparaging it I am.

No tough guy would drink an
Icee, it's just an emasculating.

- Good tip.
- No problem.

See you around.

(acoustic instrumental music)

- So what do tough guys drink?

- In the coffee realm?

Well, you got a couple options.

You can drink an espresso,

or black coffee, and maybe
a latte on sensitive days,

but no foam, because no tough guy

would be caught dead
drinking anything foamy.

- Who are you?

- Piqued your interest, huh?

- I am smitten, yeah.

Oh I don't go out with guys
who use the word, smitten.

- Or drink Icee, girly
coffee drinks, apparently.

- Well, a girl's gotta
have standards, huh?

- You drive a little motorcycle.

- No, I borrowed a little
motorcycle from a friend.

- Oh like a, man friend,
or just a friend, friend?

- It's weird that I saw you.

- Is it?

- Yeah, you and me,

we got like a spooky
synchronicity going on.

- Spooky synchro?

I don't know what that means.

- See ya photo boy.

- Wait, can I call you or something?

- You didn't even know my name?

- This is true, we can remedy that.

Okay, she looks back, she likes me.

(soft instrumental music)

(phone ringing)

- Hi.

- Hi.

May I help you?

- Yes, I am looking for Alan Norris.

- Do you have an appointment?

- No, I'm kinda surprising him.

- He's actually in a-

- Wow, you are like, crazy cute.

- Thank you.

- Sorry, I'm Tyler.

- Savannah.

- Nice to meet you.

- Hey Al!

That's my friend.

Hey.

- What are you doing here, man?

- Man, I met this girl
today who was amazing.

She's, she's smart and

like savvy and like talked really fast.

She was really awesome.

- Are you talking about the
secretary here in the office?

- Oh no, but she's nice too.

No, I'm talking about this

mysterious Bohemian girl I met at this-

- Okay, Ty.

- Yeah.
- I get paid to work here.

What are you doing here?

- Oh, I thought we were going

to get the stuff from the bitch?

- Don't call her a bitch.

Look, I get off work at six, okay?

Come back then.

- But I'm bored.

- You're a child.

I have things to do.

- Okay, that's cool. I'll
just hang out with Savannah

until you're done with work.

- No no, I'll make up
a personal emergency.

Wait out here please.

- I'll wait right here.

Hurry.

I'll be right here, Alan.

- Yeah.

- Hi, I'm just waiting.

You ready?

- Yeah.

- You don't look ready.

- Maybe I'm not.

- Listen to me.

There is no woman in the world so perfect

that you cannot get
over her in six months.

- Six months?

That's an eternity, Tyler.

- Six months, tops.

Look, we are resilient, we bounce back.

Okay, why do you think I had this string

of short-term flings?

- 'Cause you're commitment-phobic.

- Because why would I sign
up for a relationship,

and all the sacrifices that come with it,

if I know that in six months

I could be completely
over the whole thing?

What I'm saying to you is this,

in six months, you'll be fine.

You'll be completely over her.

You will hate her, and you will be fine.

- You think you should
really be here with me?

- Yeah.

- You don't think this
is a little awkward, Ty?

- No.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Alan, what is he doing here?

- I don't know.

- I just thought Alan might need some help

moving his things.

- I need to grab a few things, Claire.

- Yeah, you know, just what
he bought with his money,

or what you bought with his money.

Wait, that's everything, isn't it?

- Stop it.

I just need to grab some clothes, Claire.

Okay?

- For now.

- Asshole.
- Slut.

- [Alan] Hey Ty, can you
give me a hand in here?

- No, I'm good.

- Really, should go help him.

- I'd like to spend a
little time with you.

- Oh I'm so pleased.

- Where's the ring?

- What?

- The ring, where is it?

- My ring?
- His ring.

- I can't even believe

I'm having this conversation with you.

- Do you have any idea how much
money he spent on that ring?

- What are you doing here?

Seriously, why are you here?

This has absolutely nothing
to do with you, Tyler.

Why don't you go take a
picture of a hamburger

and hit on an 18-year-old?

- Oh, are you mocking what I do?

- Only because it's stupid.

- For your information,

I got a really big photo shoot next week

for The Underground.

- Oh, that's awesome.

I'll bet anybody else could
parlay that into a real career.

- Hey Ty, can I talk
to you for one second?

- Wow, you are really horrible.

- Well, at least I'm not a sellout.

- Jesus Christ.

That is the meanest bitch
I've ever met in my life,

I am serious.

- What is that?

- What?

- That.

What the fuck is that?

Fuck.

- Overkill.

- What?

- An eight by 10?

Give me a break.

I mean, that's not even subtle.

I mean, at least have some
style about it, you know?

I mean, obviously she's
trying to make you jealous

with this guy, who is only
moderately good looking,

and almost assuredly not funny,

but have some style about it.

- Stop talking.

- Yeah.

(car starting)

- Hey, thanks again, man.

- No problem, this is
the way it should be.

You're on the couch.

- Yeah.

How do you afford this place and the loft?

- This is what you get
when you sell your soul.

It's actually a pretty good deal.

- [Woman On Message] Hi, it's Becca.

Where are you?

Give me a call.

- You gonna tell me who that was?

- That was Becca.

- Great, that's a lot of information.

Why don't you call her back?

Are you avoiding her?

- No, I'm not avoiding
her, I'm fading her.

- You're gonna have to
tell me what that means.

- I saw Becca day before yesterday.

I haven't called her yet.

I'll call her tomorrow,

when she's starting to get angry with me.

We'll have a great conversation.

She will feel silly for
getting angry with me,

and we'll make a date for next week.

We'll go out next week

and I'll talk about how
busy work is getting,

and then I won't call her for two weeks.

We continue this process,

gradually spreading out the time

between when we see each other,

until one day she looks up and she says,

hey, whatever happened to Tyler?

Thanks.

- That sounds like the
worst thing I've ever heard.

- I doubt that.

- Why don't you just tell her the truth?

That you don't want to
hang out with her anymore.

Your way seems kind of cowardly.

- Cowardly?
- Yeah.

- Do you have any idea what it takes

to not talk to a girl for two weeks?

Call her up, go on a date,

avoid the confrontation and hookup?

It's not cowardly, my friend,

it's goddamn heroic.

- You and me, we're just different people.

- Look, I've seen this
girl two, three times.

You think that I'm required
to call and break up with her?

- Yeah.

- I don't even know this person.

- But you slept with her.

- She'll tell me to go to hell,

and rightfully so.

You don't owe an explanation to someone

until you're in a committed relationship.

That's a rule.

- For a guy whose longest relationship

was less than a year
when he was a teenager,

you really seem to think
you have it figured out.

- I do have it figured out,

and that's exactly why
my longest relationship

was less than a year.

(phone ringing)

- Hey, Paulie.

- Where are you?

- Coffee shop.

Hey, let me ask you a question.

Do you think that iced
blended coffee drinks

are emasculating?

- No, not if you're a
big fag, which you are.

Listen, I got a call from Julian

and he wants to meet with
you about that shoot.

- When?

- Now, today.

- And of course, as my agent, you told him

I don't drop everything I'm
doing whenever he asks, right?

- Apparently he wants to meet you

at his favorite art gallery,

to quote, soak up the
artistic mystique, end quote.

- Come on.

- That big, weird place on Fifth.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That is like way out of my
three mile radius, Paul.

- Ty, no shit, come on.

This is really important.

This is a really big
thing for your career.

Go to the art gallery, don't mess around.

- [Woman] Okay, up on the left.

- [Man] You just said up on the right?

- [Woman] It's an
imperfect science, Charles.

- We're raising it a
quarter inch on the right,

a quarter inch on the left.

- It needs to go higher.

- [Man] That's as high as you can go

without me going up into the rafters.

- No, it's not.

- It is, I'd have to go up and re-rig it.

- So I think it looks perfect.

- Hey.

- Spooky synchronicity, huh?

- Yeah.

- Is that yours?

- Yup.

- I like it.

- Thanks.

- Well Sophie, if you're
done with the day labor here

I really needed to get back

to my spot on the corner
outside Home Depot.

- Yeah, I'm done, thanks.

See you later.

- All right.

- Sophie's a good name.

- What are you doing here?

- You know, I knew that you

would have some cool job like, artist.

I thought it might be secret agent though.

You know, maybe a cat burglar.

You have a definite cat
burglar kind of vibe about you.

Do you have any idea how much coffee

I've had at that coffee shop

just waiting for you to come back?

The barista knows my
name, it's embarrassing.

I'm like a regular there, now.

- Yeah, you were waiting for me?

- Yeah.

- Well, I'm touched, and
only slightly freaked.

I should-

- You know, I went back to
the bookstore the other night

and funny, there were only six books left.

- You went back?

- Well, yeah, I'm fearless.

Oh yeah.

- Wait a minute, is this
creepy bookstore guy?

- Yes, it is.

- Oh, awesome, a nickname,

with the word creepy in it.

Yeah that's nice.

- Charles, could you excuse
us for a moment please?

- Yeah, I guess I'm not
really needed here, am I?

- No.
- No.

No I guess I should just, I just,

see I own the gallery

but that makes me disposable apparently.

Yeah, tell you what,

I'll just fade away, I guess,
just disappear, you know?

You know what, maybe I
could go and hang myself,

that way I won't use up any
floor space in case you need it.

- Okay, great.

- See ya.
- See ya.

- You've been talking about me.

- Apparently.

- Hm, so this missing book.

Did you, by any chance?

You bought my book.

You must really like me.

- No, no I don't.

- You bought my book.

- I put it under an uneven chair.

- You put it under your pillow

so you could have kissing dreams about me.

- Kissing dreams?

(loud laughing)

- I think I'm in sort of art fortress.

I love it.

Stay right there, coming down, don't move.

Don't move.

Oh, I wish I could just
see you a while ago.

Hey baby, baby.

My God, it looks so good.

Oh my God, it moves me.

It moves me.

Tormented, that's the word that just,

it just came up right out of me.

Tormented.

Oh, it's haunting, isn't it?

You, one word,

one word to describe

this.

- Melancholy.

- Melancholy?

Good fucking word, dude.

This is him, Soph.

Soph, this is him.

This is my golden boy.

Listen to me, brother.

My work, my work.

It touches people.

I don't know how, I really don't.

But what I do is I reach into
people's souls with my lyrics.

And I know that you know what that means

because you do the same
thing with your pictures.

No no no no no, I saw your book.

I saw it, and it is raw dude,

it is fucking raw.

That's what I want, no no no no,

that is what I need to do with this shoot.

Me in rags against the world, right?

- Julian.

- Julian.

- Julian, you could have
told me that you had-

- I know, I know, I know, I
know, I know, I know, I know.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
guilty, you caught me.

I just, I had to have him see your work.

I mean, look at this man, look at it.

The brushstrokes, the
lines, the shape, the color,

the whatever this thing
is here with the writing.

I don't even know what you call that.

You know who does though?

Her, because she knows art dude.

She knows it.

She knows art.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

She, she is art.

Look at you.

Look at you, art, look at you.

You little piece of art.

Perfect.

She comes up to me last
week, and she says, Julian,

you have got to see these photos.

This guy is shooting with
your voice, she says.

You've got my voice, dude.

I'm looking at him and I'm thinking

he is the one, don't you think?

Yeah.
- Yeah.

You, you can see it, I
don't think he sees it.

But look, I can trust you.

I can trust that you will make this big,

and you will make this deep,

and you will make this something true.

- You and him?

- Yeah, yeah.

Yes.

This is my girlfriend,
girlfriend, I'm sorry,

my muse, my life force, Sophie.

If it weren't for her,
we wouldn't be here, man.

She is our fucking cupid.

- Julian.

- Oh no, she gets shy around new people,

don't take it personally.

You and me, we have to
go to my cello lesson.

You ready to go?

Hey, did you like the cello, T?

- Sure.

- 'Cause I'm learning it right now.

It's fucking awesome.

All right, we're gonna go though.

You, take it all in, all right.

Stay here, absorb the art.

Feel it, drink it up, it's good for you.

This scares the crap out of me.

Stay away from it.

- I thought we were gonna
talk about the shoot?

- We just did man.

I'm in your hands, T.

You have got to bring it though, brother.

It's my words, my music, your pictures.

Like so, see that, simpatico, in sync,

peanut butter and jelly.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa,
I'm gonna party tonight.

You gotta come by.

It's sort of a going away
on tour sort of a thing.

All right?

So make sure you're there.

I'm gonna have my guy call your guy.

They're gonna do what guys do, later dude.

- It was nice meeting you, Tyler.

- Hi.

- You are creepy.

- Okay.

- She's fucking some guy named Jared.

- What?

- I used her password.

She's been IM-ing some guy
named Jared for six weeks.

Every day.

Really?

We need to grab all of her stuff.

All the fucking love notes.

I'm gonna fucking burn 'em.

I'm gonna burn it all.

- Yeah, we'll burn 'em, man.

- I want to suck your voluptuous lips,

as my hands move

up and down your slim, beautiful body.

- He wrote that?

- No, she did.

My girlfriend, my fiance of three years,

she wrote that to some
fucking guy named Jared.

- Whoa, whoa!

What is wrong with you?

Come on man.

This guy is nothing compared to you.

Stand you guys next to each other,

every woman in the world
picks you every single time.

You understand me?

Don't worry about this, this is nothing.

Come on.

- She said he was better in bed than I am.

- Oh.

I got invited to a party.

Let's go.

Huh?

- I really don't think
this was a good idea, Ty.

- Just remember, six months.

- That six month thing isn't working.

I can't just jump over
the mourning period,

'cause I honestly don't think
I'm ever gonna get over her.

- Yeah, you got to believe it.

That's kind of the trick.

- Yeah, well I don't believe that.

- Well, I'll have to go
with the dead tactic then.

- Well, pray tell, what's the dead tactic?

- She's dead to you.

You know, she's erased
herself from your reality.

You can't talk to her, you can't see her,

she did it, it's her fault,

and here's nothing you can do about it.

- That doesn't make me feel better.

- The feel better tactic didn't work.

This is the, don't make an
asshole out of yourself, tactic.

Look, you follow those rules.

You don't listen to her.

You don't talk to her.

You don't see her.

You don't do anything
with her, six months.

- I don't like your rules.

I still feel like shit.

- Oh, let's grab a drink.

Alcohol fixes everything.

- Yeah, it does.

I'll have a scotch, Senor.

- Two.

- Hey, hang out here for a sec, okay?

- Don't leave me, man.

I don't know anyone at this party.

Here we go.

(muffled speaking)

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi!

Hey, you know what,

we weren't properly
introduced this afternoon.

Creepy bookstore guy,
Charles Milton, the third.

- Tyler.

- Well, I seem to be in the way.

You know who I blame?

My mother and father,

for conceiving, bearing, and raising me.

They just never really considered

how inconvenient it would become for you.

- Okay.

- You want to grab a smoke outside or?

- Sure, I'd love to.

- Excuse us.

- Hey, you know what?

I'm a person.

- You need a cigarette?

- No, actually I don't really smoke much,

only on special occasions
like bookstore night.

Actually, stepping outside to smoke

is more of a social crutch.

You know, get away from the crowd,

get a little more privacy.

- And then you figured out that the women

you were stepping outside the smoke with,

were more flattered when you weren't

actually stepping outside to smoke,

and you just wanted to be alone with them.

- I think you might have
a wrong impression of me.

- I don't think so.

I got your number.

- Oh really?

Well, do tell.

- I don't think you can handle it.

- Try me.

- All right.

Here's what I think.

I think that at some point in your life

you had this image of what cool is,

I'm guessing probably based
on somebody like Fonzie.

Now you're not Fonzie, okay?

In fact, I think you're kind of a dork,

but you want to be Fonzie.

So you do your best impression
and people actually buy it.

So you keep doing it,

but somewhere deep inside,
you know it's still an act,

and you can't seem to respect anybody

who would actually fall for it.

You put up all these walls so
that people can't know you,

and then you hate them

for not being able to
see through those walls.

That's your problem.

- I don't have a problem.

- That's the saddest part.

You don't even know you're broken.

- Whoa! Is that Tyler Watts?

World famous photographer at my party.

I'm so honored you came Kimosabe.

What is going on with you right now?

- Oh, he's fine.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

He is as high as a kite.

Look at him.

It's all right, man, I feel you brother.

Well, I mean, not actually.

Yeah, I gave up stimulants
after I got back from India.

Yeah, six weeks in an ashram
will change you brother.

Anyway, so come on. I want
to introduce you to somebody,

I'm gonna steal her away.

- I thought we were so
right for each other.

She just didn't, it's not my fault.

I know a lot of people-

- Vodka shot, please.

- It's still her fault.

You son of a bitch.

Come on, man.

You take me to a fucking party
where I don't know anyone.

You leave me, and that's
supposed to make me feel better?

- I think I'm in love.

- I don't give a fuck.

Son of a bitch.

Okay, I care.

With who?

- That girl right there.

- The one in the purple stockings?

- Yep.

- She's not your type.

- She is now.

Not the regular type, the real type.

- That sounds complicated.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

- All right, there are two types, okay?

There's the girl that you date,

and then there's the perfect girl.

The perfect girl, she's too perfect.

You know, she makes you nervous,

unsure of yourself, who
wants that kind of hassle?

- Not me.

- So you date the regular type,

the girl who's just off of what you want,

so you can be at ease, yet dissatisfied.

- Why would anyone choose
to be dissatisfied?

- The alternative is total destruction.

- So,

in fewer words,

she's gonna destroy you?

Is that what you're saying?

- I think she probably will, yeah.

- Is that guy with her? Is that her dude?

- I guess.

- That guy looks like an asshole.

No, don't do it, don't go after her.

- I got it.

- I'm alone here again.

Fucking asshole.

I guess we can catch up.

- Okay, so first of all,

it's James Bond, not Fonzie.

- I stand corrected.

- Second of all, maybe my cool guy persona

is less of an act and more of a test,

a test to see if you're the kind of girl

who falls for such shallowness.

- Wow, that was a weak.

- Yeah, that's not true
at all, ignore that.

- Second of all,

I think that you have just as formidable

of a vent mechanism as I have.

- Oh really?

- Yeah, really?

You're the girl who dates
the guy who can't handle her,

like a certain teenage rockstar.

- He's not a teenager.

- He's a boyfriend that you can control,

somebody that can never
have a piece of you,

a guy that can never make you nervous

or self-conscious or sad,

somebody who, no matter how hard they try,

they never understand you.

- He's not my boyfriend.

- He said he was your boyfriend.

He said, she's my girlfriend, my muse,

that's what he said.
- Yeah I know, he says that.

He's not my boyfriend, we're
just seeing each other.

You don't know me, Tyler.

- I think we know each other pretty well.

- Okay.

- What's the matter?

- Julian.

- Well, you just said he
wasn't your boyfriend.

- He's not but.

- And you are unbelievably attractive.

- Okay, he's not my boyfriend,
but I'm here with him.

This is not right.
- Let's get out of here.

- No, not tonight.

- You're gonna stay here with the kid.

- He's not a kid, and yes.

- I want you with me.

- Well you can't have me.

- Oh gosh.

We were together for
three years, you know?

She threw it away.

We were supposed to get
married in two months.

- Hey man, let's get out of here.

- Look who's back.

Welcome back, asshole.

- Oh, is this your pal?

- Was.

- You drag your friend
or club and just run off?

- Dude, that as messed up, bro.

If you were my friend I'd
kick your fucking ass.

- Yeah, pretend he's your
friend and kick his ass.

- You want to stop
inciting the masses here?

- No.

- Come on, let's get out of here.

- Maybe I'm not ready to go yet.

So there.

- Okay, great.

Why don't you get one of your
buddies to drive you home?

Huh? I'm out of here.

- Maybe I will.

Maybe I should go.

Hey man, come on.

Are you fucking joking me?

You just leave me waiting
around for your ass all night.

- My girl just blew me off

to spend the rest of the night
with Johnny fuckin' Rockstar.

- Who cares about Johnny Rockstar, man.

What about on me?

I'm fucking exhausted.

I'm depressed.

I think I'm developing
a chemical disorder.

- I mean that is harsh, right?

I mean, look at this guy, I hate this guy.

- Look let's, we're good, we're back.

We'll hang out, me and you.

- You know what?

Hang out here for a second, okay?

- What the fuck man?

- Yeah, I'm your agent,
but I'm also a man,

and I happen to be a man who
thinks that he can love you,

and not in a casual, lusty kind of way,

but in a real meaningful way.

- Really?

- Yeah, really, 'cause you are more

than just a client to me,

a client who happens to
make a great deal of money

on a regular basis,

which is really interesting to me.

- Wow, you should fire him immediately.

- You know you're right, I really should.

- There he is.
- What are you doing here?

- I represent you.

It's a big night for you,
it's a big night for me.

I'm helping you network.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- I'm sorry, you know Wendy, my client.

- Vaguely.

I shot you a while ago, right?

- Right, I think it was
about two years ago.

- That sounds right.

- Great, now that we're all
friends let's get to work.

Julian is right over there.

So when you go hobnobbing, hey,
come on the model's with me.

- It's like, no, I'm
not gonna pierce that.

(Julian laughing)

Hey hey, T.

- Julian, ha ha.

Paul Redding, you know I'm
Tyler's representation.

I'm so glad I can get you
two artists together tonight,

because I think, and I may be wrong,

but right here, there
is some creative energy

that is like gonna explode
the room if we're not careful.

Over here is Wendy Osborne,
I represent her as a model.

I called Wendy, I said, I'm
going over to Julian's party.

You really got to come with me,

because this artist should meet you,

because he makes music videos,

and what's in a music video?

A model, a model, right.

And Wendy happens to be a-

- Model.
- And her name is Wendy?

- Model?

- No, it's about it's
Osborne, but it's close.

(laughing)

- Julian, I'm a really
big fan of your music,

especially the song you
wrote about the rain.

- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, "April Cowers."

Yeah, I really nailed it with that one.

It's all about pain.

You know?

Everybody's, mine, oh, somebody's cold.

- I'm freezing.

- I hear you're about to go on tour.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

in a couple of weeks.

I'm trying to convince
this one to go with me.

- Oh, that'll be fun.

- You know what, you
want to get out of here?

- Sure.

- Yeah, we're gonna go.

- What?

No no, golden boy, we just got started.

You can't leave.

- Yeah, golden boy, you can't
leave yet. You just got here.

- It's okay, Paul.

You can stay, I'm sure Tyler
will make sure I get home.

Yeah?

- Absolutely.

Bye.

- Yeah, all right.

- Have fun. It was
really nice to meet you.

- Yeah yeah yeah.

You too.

- I think something's
going on between those two.

- You think something's going on?

- Really?

- I think there's something
seriously wrong with me.

- Yeah, you turned on the light.

- I'm not kidding, man.

I am fucked up here.

- [Alan] I like sleeping.

- I'm acting like a complete
asshole because of this girl.

- Okay okay, what happened?

- Okay, so I'm at Wendy's and

I couldn't.

- You couldn't?

- I couldn't!

- Couldn't get it up?

- Everything was going great.

We we're making out, it was good, nothing.

- You said she's hot, why?

What, what, what did you do?

- I pretended like I was drunk,

and I acted like I passed out.

- And she bought it?

- Yeah, she bought it.

Came up with that, top of
my head, real creative.

So not the point, man.

I need some help here, come on.

- Stop it, what are you doing?

Okay, here's the deal.

It seems like you like this other girl,

and your body, namely, your penis,

has more scruples than you.

- I have no scruples?

- Man, parts of you do.

- What about her?

We make out in the bathroom,

and then she goes canoodling
with Johnny Rockstar.

That's okay, that's cool?

I'm the asshole?

- Are you talking about Wendy?

- No, not her, the other girl.

The real type, Sophie.

- Sophie, Sophie.

Oh, purple leggings?

- Yeah, purple leggings.

- You fucking hooked up with her

in the bathroom of her boyfriend's party?

- He's not her boyfriend.

They're just seeing each other,

and they wouldn't even
be seeing each other

if he wasn't in a band.

- I love you, but you got issues, man.

You want this guy's chick?

- I do, yeah.

- Okay.

Then I have a question for you.

Why the fuck would you go
home with someone else, Ty?

- She stayed with him.

You know, I asked her to come with me.

I asked her to leave with me.

She wouldn't, what do you want me to do?

- Okay, listen,

you hooked up with her
in the bathroom, right?

Then you think, she goes home

and hooks up with Julius tonight?

Is that what you think happens?

You think she's that girl?

- I don't know.

No, I don't think so.

- I don't think so either.

I don't really know her that well but,

you did that.

You are that guy.

- I am that guy.

- Yeah, pretty fuckin' pimp though.

You fuckin' made that happen real quick.

She's hot too.

I'm going back to bed.

- No, no, no, no, no, no.

We need to talk about this. What do I do?

- Let me go back to bed.

- No, come on, I fucked up.

You got to help me fix this.

This is you, help me, help me.

- I'm not the guy with all the
big ideas, bro, that's you.

- I'm the guy whose skillset
involves getting laid,

not getting into a relationship.

This, your department.

Let's go.

- I'm not ready for this physical contact.

Okay, all right.

You have options.

- Okay, I like options.

You can just keep playing your game

that you play with women.

They seem to love it.

- That's no good.

My game is all about getting out.

- Okay, you can also just go balls out.

- What's that one?

- Just tell her how you feel.

You say, you can either be with the zero,

or you can be with the hero.

- Right, right.

And that's what you did with the bitch.

- Okay, that's harsh.

That's what I did with that bitch.

- And that worked?

- I mean, yeah, until she cheated on me

with some fucking dickhead named Jared.

Fuckin' whore.

- You know what I could do?

I could go back to that art gallery,

try to get her number or something.

- You could do that, uh huh, right.

- It feels a little stalkery doesn't it?

- There is a very thin line

between the balls out
strategy, and actual stalking.

- So this is weird.

I went back to that art gallery,

and I talked to that guy,
Charles, I like that guy.

Anyways, I asked him where
you live, and he told me,

which I thought was kind of strange.

- Did you sleep with that girl?

- We're jumping right into it, aren't we?

- Really, you know the thing is,

it's just a strange thing to do.

I mean, why would anybody do that?

Actually, you know what?

It's not a strange thing.

You fulfilled all of my expectations.

Yeah, I just didn't think

that you were gonna do it that quickly.

You jumped the ship before
we ever even left the Harbor.

- I didn't sleep with her.

- Right.

So you just took her home and
gave her a kiss on the cheek

and thanked her for the wonderful evening.

- I was a gentlemen.

Oh, come on.

I couldn't,

I couldn't perform, okay?

- What?

- I was feeling guilty.

I was thinking about you,
and I couldn't do anything.

And now I've emasculated myself

in front of all your neighbors,

so I hope that makes you happy.

- Is that like a common problem for you?

- No, look, all this is
beside the point, okay?

- What is the point?

- The point is that I'm here, I like you.

And I think you might be
my type, my real type,

not just the type I date.

Man, that was stupid.

All right, let me start over.

- No, no, look no,

you have all these rules
and theories about life.

You wanna hear one of my rules?

- Probably not.

- Don't date guys like you.

- That's a dumb rule.

- You pissed me off, okay?

You really hurt my feelings.

I just,

I don't think this is a good idea, at all.

- So?

- So, I think you should go.

- Okay, I'll just go.

Really?

- Yes.

- Okay.

(knocking on door)

- What?

- Open the door.

- No.

- I have to tell you something.

- I don't like you.

- Yeah, you do.

Look, I'm sorry.

I didn't say that before, and I am, so,

sorry.

- Oh I am an idiot.

(uptempo instrumental music)

Yeah.

You really didn't sleep with her?

- No.

- And then everything
is working (muffled)?

- That's not even funny.

- This is really stupid.

- No it's not.

- You are so totally wrong for me.

- You are perfect for me.

- I want you to stop.

- Really?

- No.

- Are you going?

- I was going to.

- Okay.

- I kind of have this rule.

- Right.

Okay.

- I'm sitting here with my boot
in my hand and I'm thinking,

maybe, maybe I could stay.

Would that be weird?

- No weirder than this conversation.

- I could take you to breakfast
or something in the morning.

- If you want to stay, you should stay.

- Yeah, I want to stay.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Wow.

I'm really coming along as a human being.

Yeah, I guess it is, but I
don't like hearing it like that.

- It's not a bad thing.
- I like your tattoos.

Did you realize how much cooler you were

than me when we met?

Or was that something
you've grown to learn?

♪ So we can still be friends ♪

♪ If only you love me to the end ♪

- Come on.

Hemingway, every single guy

says that Hemingway is
his favorite author,

all that manly shit.

- They say that because he's
one of the best writers ever.

See, that's kind of a thing.

His reputation.

Well, fair enough, all right.

So what about you?

What's favorite book, missus smart guy.

- The Stranger.

- Bullshit.

- I promise you.

- Bullshit.

Can I tell you something and
be completely honest with you?

This is the best fucking sandwich
I've ever had in my life.

- I told you it was gonna be

absolutely delicious and it was.

- You're not asleep.

- I can tell.

- You smell good. Come on, what
is your real favorite book?

What is the book you pull out once a year?

Come on.

- "Wuthering Heights."

- "Wuthering Heights."

That's the worst book I ever read.

- No it's not.
- It's terrible.

Are you kidding me?

Well, your taste is embarrassing to me,

but it's okay because I'm
gonna kiss you in this window.

- You're crazy.

- Oh, you like it, come here.

- I can make omelets.

I can make-

- You want some beer?
- Yes.

I can make a lava-filled chocolate cake.

- Make that.

♪ I can't tell anymore anyway ♪

- Oh my God.

Oh my God.

Did you take this?

- Shut up.

- This is the most delicious,
mouthwatering thing,

I have ever seen in my life.

It has made me so hungry.

Can we go to Hut Hut Hamburger?

- That's hilarious
making fun of what I do,

but I love it.

- Come on, that is not what you do.

- No, it isn't.

- No, no, what you do is you take

beautiful pictures that touch people,

and make them think.

You deserve to be made fun of for that.

You're better than that.

- You think?

- Yeah, I don't have crushes
on people who are not talented.

- You have a crush on me?

- Sporadically.

So why did you do that?

- Do what?

- Sell out.

- Ouch.

- Seriously?

- I gotta make a living.

- Whatever.

- I got a pretty good life.

- I think you're sad.

- Okay, okay, I got to go.

- Okay.

Was it a good weekend?

- Really, I had a terrible time,

I find you terribly attractive.

- And you're a liar.

- Okay, I gotta go.

Bye bye bye bye.

I'm sorry, did I just hear you scream?

Unfortunately, this neighborhood
is very unsafe around here.

So luckily I'll just stay here,

and I'll make sure you get in bed okay.

(laughing)

This girl, man.

She's a, she's an anomaly.

I think she's awesome.

Hey?

- What?

- You okay?

- Yeah, yeah, I just spent three days

trying to figure out how to kill myself.

- I think we need to get you a girl.

- I don't need pointless, empty sex

to make me feel better, Ty.

That doesn't help me.

I'm not you.

- Alan, it's time I was honest
with you about some things.

I am not the James Bond
that you give me credit for.

- Stop it.

No.

- Men are hunters.

They're always after their next conquest,

it is ingrained.

Men in relationships, married men,

they have these needs, too.

Now how do they fulfill these needs

without running around on their girls?

How did they do that?

- Masturbation?

- By living vicariously
through another hunter.

But if that hunter is weak,

if his powers are not especially super,

you relationship guys,

you start thinking you can do it better.

In a way, by keeping you
jealous and impressed

by my above average hunting skills,

I helped keep you happy
in your relationship.

- You think I was with Claire

for a little over two years and 10 months,

because of your above
average hunting skills?

- Yeah, in part.

- I hate to burst your bubble,

but I don't think you're
that good with women.

- Sure you do.

All my friends and relationships

think I go home with a
different girl every night.

It's not true.

I can't just walk up to some
girl in a bar and pick her up.

What I need is the groundwork,

and that is what I'm going to do for you.

I'm going to provide you with groundwork.

I'm gonna set you up.

- Do not provide me with groundwork.

Not necessary.

- You, me, Sophie, and a yet
to be determined hot girl.

- I don't, I don't,

ah, whatever.

- What?

- All right.
- All right.

You said yes.

I got her, she is perfect.

She's a model I took shots
of a couple of months ago,

and she is single, and she
cannot wait to meet you.

- Is she cool?

- She's a model.

- Fair enough.

What time?

- Let's say eight o'clock,
I'll pick up Sophie,

we'll meet you at the bar
just after the photo shoot.

- Thank you, Arthur.

- The shoot with the rockstar hipster guy.

- That's the one.

- Wait, does he know about you and Sophie?

- Whoa, I don't know.

- Is that gonna be uncomfortable?

- I don't know, is it?

- Are you gonna address the issue?

- I don't know, should I?

- None of this has occurred to you, Ty?

- Well, I've been thinking
about the girl and the shoot,

not the connections to each other.

(knocking on door)

Shit.

He's here.

- Well, what if you open the door

and he punches you in the face?

- Do you think she told him?
- I don't know.

(banging on door)

- [Julian] Hey!

- Okay, I've gotta go.

- Just be safe.

Punch him in the throat,
it'll collapse his trachea.

- Yeah.

Hey.

- I'm so excited for this shoot, man.

I haven't showered in a week to prep.

I want this shit to be
visceral, you know what I mean?

- Okay, yeah, awesome.

We can do that.
- Oh no, no, no, no, no.

You, you seem nervous.

- I'm excited.

- Excited.

- Really excited.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- Yes.

- You want to shoot?

- Yes, we'll shoot.

♪ Do you feel it all the time ♪

♪ The way she breaks upon your mind ♪

- A little more fucked up, yeah?

(muffled speaking)
(muffled song lyrics)

- [Tyler] Yeah, I like this a
lot. You got nothing to lose.

You got nothing to lose right now.

(yelling)

- I want your head right here.

Eyes right here.

You're a rockstar, show me.

♪ And all the times that you regret ♪

- Good, good.

(uptempo pop music)

♪ It runs through your head ♪

♪ You think about it daily ♪

♪ I know you do, I know
you are the world ♪

- You're a genius, you know that, right?

- You're a great subject.

I mean, look at this one.

You look really fucked up there.

- Yeah, that's not modeling dude.

That's, that's real fucked up-ness.

- You okay?

- Yeah, it's just this girl.

You met her, Sophie?

- Yeah.

Cat eye glasses.

- Love those fucking glasses.

- You guys having trouble or what?

- She's fading me, man.

You know, you start talking less and then-

- Yeah I know, I know the fade.

- I invented the shit,
and now she's fading me.

What's the deal?

What's going on?

Everything, everything was so great.

And now,

she's totally over me.

- She flipped the switch.

- She what?

- Some women have a switch, right?

They keep themselves detached,

so when the time is right,
they can just walk away,

no strings attached.

- I'm telling you, a woman
with a switch? Trouble.

- She has a switch?

- It sucks.

But hey, I bet you write a
great song about it, huh?

- Whoa whoa, I'm not done.

I'm going over there, tonight.

- Why would you go over there tonight?

- Why do you think?

I'm gonna get her to
flip this switch back on.

- Well, it's a little hard to
get 'em to flip it back on.

Just saying.

- But I'm a rockstar.

- Right.

- Whole different set of rules.

That's pretty cool, actually.

Oh my God, look at me.

What's up?

You're an artiste, my friend.

Don't you know, we smell our own,

and seriously, thank
you for listening to me.

All right, wish me luck!

- Luck.

- Flip that switch!

Woo!

(uptempo pop music)

- No, no, no.

No, no no, don't.

Uh uh, you're not getting in there.

Stay strong, stay strong.

Don't let him in, don't let him in.

I met somebody else,
get out of my apartment.

What the fuck are they doing?

(phone ringing)

Hello?

- [Sophie] Hey, it's me.

- Hey, you.

- Look, I'm really sorry,

but I'm running about an hour behind.

Yeah, the day has kind
of caught up with me, so.

- You're gonna be there,
a whole hour though?

- Yeah, I can just meet
you guys over at the bar.

- Okie dokie.

- All right, see ya there.

- See ya.

Fuck!

(car starting)

Son of a bitch!

- Three days later I found out
that she was cheating on me,

and that really made me feel good.

- You're getting over it now?

Yeah?
- Yeah.

- And how long ago was this?

- Nine days.

(coughing)

How's it going, Ty?

- Great, I'm great, I'm
living the dream, I really am.

This wine is fucking fantastic.

I'm gonna get us another bottle, okay?

Shelly, another bottle please, thank you.

- Ty tells me that
you're a hot shot model.

That must be fun.

- It is.

- Is that how you guys met?

- Oh no, we were actually
seeing each other.

- Romantically?

- Well, I don't know if it was romantic.

We are certainly having a lot of sex.

- What?

- Can I talk to you for one second?

What is wrong with you?

- Look, I got a lot of
stuff going on right now.

I really don't feel like
getting scolded, okay?

- You had sex with her?

- Months and months ago.

- So?

You can't hook me up on a date

with someone you've already dated.

- No, no.

You can't go out with someone
I dated without telling me.

I know about it, I'm cool with it.

No rule is broken.

- That's not the point.

- Well what is the point?

Look, I'm trying to help you
here and you're giving me shit.

Don't get mad at me
just because your fiance

made you look like an asshole, okay?

- Harsh.

I look like an asshole?

- Look.

- Okay, awesome, awesome.

Let's get this the fuck over with.

- Hey everybody.

- Hey.

- It's Alan, right?

- Yeah, Sophie.

Nice to meet you.

I've heard a lot about you.

- Oh.

- Good, it was all good.
Sorry, this is Reese.

- Hi.

Welcome to the party.

- Thank you.

I'm sorry I'm late guys.

I got caught up with paintings.

- Cool, so you're an artist?

- Yeah.

- She's a really good painter.

- Thank you.

You've been talking about me?

- And you said you'd be an hour.

It's been an hour and 36 minutes, about.

- Yeah, I know, and I
also said I was sorry.

I'm not usually late like this, but.

- Well, you got caught up with your art,

making beautiful art for hours on end.

How was it?

- How was what?

- The art?

- What are you doing?

- I saw you.

I saw him go into your apartment.

- With the rockstar?

- Oh wow wait, who's the rockstar?

- You were spying on me?

- I was spying on him.

- This is the guy that she
was dating before Tyler.

- Oh shit.

- Wait, why exactly
were you following him?

- Because he told me he was going

to your place after the shoot.

- Okay, so let me get this straight.

You soak the guy for information,

while doing a job that I set up for you,

and then you follow him?

- You say it like that, I
sound like kind of a dick.

- I guess I just assumed that
you wouldn't talk about me.

- I assumed you wouldn't fuck him.

Looks like we were both wrong, huh?

- Wow.

You know what? Go to hell, Tyler.

- You fucking idiot.

What was that shit?

Go after her.

- No, I'm not gonna chase her.

- Why?

You've already spied on her

and made an out of both
of you in this bar.

Why don't you just fucking
commit to the thing and go?

- Yeah, you should really go after her.

- Did you sleep with him?

- What do you think?

- I want to think that you didn't.

- He wanted to talk.

I told him that I had met someone,

and that I thought it
might be serious, okay?

I owed him that much.

He's someone I care about.

- You couldn't just tell me that?

- It's none of your business.

What did you want me to say?

That I rejected him, and he cried?

Why?

So that you could feel
like the big winner?

God, that's what this is all about.

You liked me because I'm a challenge.

And you were jealous
because I was with this kid

that you consider yourself
to be so much better than.

You don't want me.

You want the war story.

You want to conquer.

You want to defeat the
young and talented opponent

and come home with the prize,

but you know what?

No, we're done.

This thing is done.

- Just like that?

- Yeah, just like that.

- Because I was jealous?

- No, no, because I was right about you.

You're just gonna keep
on sabotaging things.

You're gonna keep hurting
me until I leave you,

so what the fuck is the point?

- Wait, no, wait, Sophie.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

- Why do I have to handle
you? Why is that my job?

God, you're like this little boy

who wants a woman to
take all of his problems

and make him feel better about it.

Well, that's not me, Tyler.

I'm not her.

I have my own problems, okay?

I want to be happy, too.

- Okay, what do you want from me?

- I want,

I want you to be different.

- This is who I am.

- I know.

Goodbye Tyler.

- Sophie, don't, don't go.

Don't do it, don't do it, Sophie.

Don't flip the switch.

Sophie, come on.

God damn it.

- Thanks for an amazing evening, Ty.

- Sorry.

Kenny, scotch.

She left.

- Figures.

- I fucked it up.

- Yeah.

- What are you drinking.

- No, I'm not drinking.

I want to have compassion
for you right now, Ty,

but I,

I can't.

- You still mad about the Reese thing?

- You tried to hook me up with
a girl that you've been with.

That's a power play.

I know it seems like a really
nice thing you're doing,

but you're just reminding yourself

that you're better than I am.

- No, I'm not doing that.

- Yes, yes you are.

You do it all the time.

I know it's not a big deal.

It's never a big deal
unless it's about you.

- Come on.

- You called me an asshole, Ty.

You don't respect me.

I've known you almost all my life,

and somewhere in me I
love you like a brother,

but right now I can't
even fucking look at you.

I can't listen to your problems.

I sure as hell can't hear

your theories on life, so spare me.

- Alan.

- I'm going to a hotel.

Gotta find an apartment.

I'm gonna go pack up my shit.

- Alan, come on, no.

Alan?

Hi.

- So you followed her?

- No, I followed him to her apartment.

- Ty, is that how tough guys act?

Is that how James Bond would act?

- I know, I know, she has destroyed me.

I knew she would, and she did.

I have become the kind of man that I mock.

- Or you're a romantic.

- Come on, that's
bullshit and you know it.

I'm not a romantic, I'm a cynic.

- Cynics are the most romantic.

And you kick these girls to the curb,

because they don't match
up to your romantic ideal,

which secretly one day
you hope you'll find.

- You're starting to talk
like me, you realize this?

- You have quite an effect on me.

- Wendy, wait.

- Let me get this straight.

You're rejecting me for
some forlorn 20-something

who wants nothing to do with you?

Is that about right?

- I've had such a shitty night.

- Then what are you doing here?

- You know, I thought maybe we could talk.

- Talk?

You're such an idiot, Tyler.

All this melodramatic romantic bullshit

about her destroying you.

You want to see somebody destroyed?

You want to see someone really fucked up?

Take a look over here, smart guy.

- Wendy,

I'm sorry.

- Oh God, don't.

Don't say you're sorry, don't.

You think she's so perfect for you?

I'm perfect for you, I am.

You can't see that, can you?

I'm just some girl you fuck.

- You're one of my best friends.

(groaning)

- I'm in love with you, you fucking idiot.

- Oh, you hit me in the head with a phone.

I'm bleeding.

- You okay?

- Seriously, this day really sucks.

- I'm gonna ask you to leave now.

- You're one of my only friends.

I don't want to lose that.

- That's very gracious of you,

but I can't pretend to be
your friend anymore, Tyler.

- I didn't know.

- You should have.

(acoustic music)

♪ I'm back to the sea ♪

♪ As the lights become weak ♪

♪ Pull down the blinds ♪

♪ That shutter my life for a week ♪

- [Paul] Okay, I haven't heard from you

for a week and now it's official.

Hut Hut Hamburger has fired you.

And as far as our
relationship is concerned,

I really don't think it's working out.

- You are depressing the out of me, dude.

- [Paul] It's not you.

I'm just under a lot of
pressure here at the office.

I'm really just sorry
it had to end this way.

- Come on, Tyler.

There's plenty of girls out there.

I'm not helping, am I?

- [Paul] But I hope that
we can still be friends.

(knocking on door)

- Ty.

Open the door.

Look, I know you're going
through a hard time,

but you can't just shut off.

Look man, I want to talk to you.

I want to talk to you,

but I'm not gonna do it through
a fucking closed door, man.

I moved, I found a place.

You should come by.

I miss you buddy.

Come on man, stop being a bitch.

Just fucking with you.

♪ Kill off your demons before
your heart turns into one ♪

- [Man] Raise the right just a little bit.

- [Tyler] Like this?
- Yeah, a little bit more.

No, back down, just okay.

Leave it alone, leave it alone.

You know, I think I like
that one the best, Tyler.

- This one?

- Yeah.

- How come?

- It's about friendship.

- You don't think it's, corny?

- Timeout, timeout.

I say I like the thing,

therefore I'm corny,
is what you're saying.

Tyler, in case you haven't
noticed, I own a fucking bar.

I have sleeve tattoos, I wear
vintage concert T-shirts.

I am not corny.

Look, I'm not gonna get into
some artistic debate with you

on why I fucking liked the thing,

I just like it, is it
not okay for me to say?

You're a fucking dick man.

- Sorry.

- Hey.

- Who is it, sweetie?

- So, you two?

- I went to your place to get some stuff,

and to check the messages.

- And I'd popped in to check on you,

because I felt really badly about

throwing the phone and how you left.

- And, we started talking
about you at first.

- [Wendy] And how pissed
we both were at you.

- Yeah and then,

I think subconsciously

we kind of did it initially
just to get back at you.

- Yeah, I don't think it was subconscious.

- No, it was pretty conscious.

Something amazing came out of it.

- Seriously.

This.

I like it.

Congratulations.

- Thank you.

How are you?

- I'm good.

What do I got?

Actually, the reason I
came by was to tell you

that I've got some new
shots hanging in the bar.

If you want to-

- That's great, your photography is up.

- Yeah, Kenny thinks he
might be able to sell some.

- Ty, that's fantastic.

- Thanks.

- Whatever happened with Sophie?

- Oh, well I ruined it.

I think she moved, or something.

I don't know, I've lost her.

- Yeah, it sounds like you're
still thinking about her.

- Yeah.

- I'll be right back.

- What happened, man?

You know, it's been more than six months.

- So?

- So what about your fucking rule?

Any guy can get over
any girl in six months?

- Yeah, well apparently that rule

doesn't really hold up to scrutiny.

- Yeah, no shit.

- No shit.

- Paul wants me to go to this tonight.

He's still trying to get Julian
to use me in a music video.

- Baby, we have dinner plans tonight.

- I know baby, it's date night.

We're not going.

- Okay.

It's not like she would
be at that thing anyway.

- Oh no she'll be there.

That's her painting.

(acoustic music)

(lyrics muffled)

♪ You can't have Sophie ♪

I can't hear you.

- Hey, creepy bookstore guy.

What the hell are you doing
here, creepy bookstore guy?

- I'm looking for Sophie.

- That's interesting.

I was under the impression
you two no longer spoke.

- Well, I'm hoping to change that.

- Yeah, at Julian's party.

Very dramatic.

- It very well could be, yeah.

- Okay, well come with me.

Come with me.

(crowd cheering)

- Thank you, thank you, thank you so much.

Thank you for coming.

All right, this next one,

we're gonna slow it down a little bit.

It's about true love, all
the trouble that it brings.

And it involves a cello.

So take it easy on me, all
right, I'm new at this.

♪ Maybe I ♪

♪ Maybe I should have ♪

- Look who's here.

- What are you doing here?

- He came to win you back.
- Yeah, what he said.

- Okay, well right now is
not a good time for this.

- Well, it's the only time I've had.

You disappeared on me.

- Look, I broke up with you, okay?

- Well yeah, after the first fight we had.

- He has a point.

You really didn't give
him much of a chance.

- Thank you.

- Well, that's because I
knew he couldn't change.

- Oh, how can you know?
- Charles, shut up.

I am not having this discussion right now.

- She does have a tendency
to shut down emotionally.

- So that's it, you can just turn it off?

You just flip your switch
and you're over me?

- I don't have a switch.
- So you're not over me?

- That's not what I said.

- You haven't said anything.

- Hey, hey, do you mind, man?

I'm kind of in the
middle of something here.

- Sorry.

- Whoa, golden boy.

Hey, it's good to see you.

Guys, this guy is crazy talented,

but seriously T, I am kind of
in the middle of something.

- I'm here for the girl.

I messed things up and I
want to make them right.

- Whoa, what, what girl you talking about?

- That one.

- Brody, what the hell
is happening here, dude?

- Julian, can we just
talk about this later

when you're not on stage?

- No, no, he messed things up.

When were thing's not messed up?

- He's the guy.

- The guy?

Oh my God.

I'm feeling so violated right now.

Were you sexing her during our shoot?

- It was a bad situation.

- Julian.

- You are an asshole.

- Okay, all right.

I guess I deserved that.

So I'm gonna walk away.

But you need to know
that I do not walk away.

- Well, I don't do this!

(yelling)

(yelling)

Rock and roll!

Soph?

Where are you going?

- You sure know how to woo a girl.

- He started it.

- Yeah, well, some might
argue that you started it

by showing up here in the first place.

Are you okay?

- Depends.

You want to be my girlfriend?

- No.

- Yeah, you do.

- No, I don't.

- You like me so much it scares you,

that's why you've been hiding from me.

Come on.

- I wasn't hiding from you.

I was out of town.

- Oh man.

You went on tour with him, didn't you?

Oh man, that's disappointing.

Okay, all right.

Tell me, tell me that you love him.

Tell me you love him and
I'll walk away right now.

Because you don't love him.

You don't, you're just
with him because he's safe,

and because he can never
have a part of you,

and because you're scared
that I'm gonna fuck it up.

- You would.

You would.

And when you get tired of me,

we'll go out for a drink
and you'll give me some line

about how tough this all is for you,

and you'll cut me loose, and I'll cry.

And I don't want to cry anymore.

- You're gonna throw away
everything that we had,

because you're scared?

- Ty, we had one weekend, six months ago.

- Don't say it like that,

you sound kind of like a nut.

I can't promise that I won't let you down,

but I don't want to.

I want to be codependent with you.

I want to not be able to work
the TV remote without you.

I want to not be able to pick out a tie.

I want to forget whether
or not I like curry.

I want to give up a part
of myself to have you.

I've never felt like that before.

I gave up my apartment,
I got fired from my job.

I just got a drink thrown at
my face and I walked away.

I haven't had sex in a
really, really long time.

I am unbelievably miserable,

but I'm better than I was,

and it's because of you.

- That's pretty good.

- I want to kiss you.

- No.

- I'm going to.

(romantic instrumental music)

- No, wait, no, this is not good.

- He's not the guy.

- He's what I need.

- Sophie?

I love you.

- It's not enough.

- It's all I got.

It was worth it.

I was worth it for me.

It seemed like more than a
weekend though, didn't it?

- Yeah, it did.

- She's watching me go.

She still likes me.

(solemn acoustic music)

- Do you know what time it is mister?

I've been waiting here.

- Hey.

- So you didn't get the girl?

- No.

- Are you okay?

- So the old ball and
chain let you out, huh?

On a school night.

- I told her I was worried about you.

I told her that I wanted
to see my best friend

'cause I was worried about him,

and girls are suckers for
feelings, so here I am.

- Well played.

- Shall we stand here longer
and not share our feelings?

Or we could go to the bar.

- Bar.

Bar.

- Hey, do you remember that rule?

Who needs women when you
have a friend like me?

- Wow, that is not making me feel

any better at all right now.

- All right, well I tried
the feel better tactic,

that didn't work.

So now I'm trying the
don't kill yourself tactic.

I hope that that works.

- [Tyler] Me too.

- [Alan] I'll thank you in the morning

for not killing yourself.

- [Tyler] We'll see how the
night goes, it's terrible.

- [Alan] Sorry about Sophie.

It's good to have you back, Ty.

♪ This song is for the painter ♪

♪ Who lost both of her hands ♪

♪ And this song is for the wanderer ♪

♪ Who never came home again ♪

♪ And for all those with broken hearts ♪

♪ I know what you're going through ♪

♪ I had a true love once ♪

♪ But now they're gone and left me blue ♪

♪ So now I like to swim ♪

♪ To the bottom of the ocean ♪

♪ And there, I'll scream
as loud as I can ♪

♪ Where there's no one I can frighten ♪

♪ So I'd do anything to cry ♪

♪ I'd do anything to cry ♪

♪ Let this pain fall from my eyes ♪

♪ And let time heal my insides ♪

♪ I shout out to my grandparents ♪

♪ Hope you find each other in heaven ♪

♪ I shout out to my grandparents ♪

♪ I hope you find each other in heaven ♪

♪ And to all of my friends ♪

♪ Sorry I left you behind ♪

♪ And if I ever come back home ♪

♪ Would you pour me a glass of wine ♪

♪ So I'd do anything to cry ♪

♪ I'd do anything to cry ♪

♪ Let this pain fall from my eyes ♪

♪ And let time heal my insides ♪

♪ This song is for the painter ♪

♪ Who lost both of her hands ♪

♪ And if I ever find my heart, darling ♪

♪ I promise to come home again ♪

♪ Maybe I ♪

♪ Maybe I should have ♪

♪ Seen what was ♪

♪ Care what's lost ♪

♪ Gone with tide ♪

♪ Wrapped in ribbon ♪

♪ I was a kid playing tough ♪

♪ There was more being here ♪

♪ Than you were giving ♪

♪ I should have tried ♪

♪ I wish I tried ♪

♪ I'll stay outside the lines ♪

♪ Leave your strings untied ♪

♪ I leave my old ways to
build you a blue sky ♪

♪ I'm always yours ♪

♪ I hope that you'll be mine ♪