All language subtitles for Gossip.Girl.2021.S01E12.1080p

- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

("BRUTAL" BY OLIVIA RODRIGO PLAYING)

What is wrong with you?

- (INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
- Bitch!

Can you fucking believe it?

She's the one who told Gossip Girl.

She's a bitch!

(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)

♪ I'm so insecure, I think... ♪

You told Gossip Girl I gave you crabs?

You told her I told Brown you're Latinx?

You were with Jared this entire time?

You made out with each
other to get followers?

- And it worked.
- Prude.

VOICE 1: You slept with the help?

VOICE 2: Your Birkin is a knockoff!

(VOICES OVERLAPPING INDISTINCTLY)

♪ All I did was try my best ♪

♪ This the kind of thanks I get? ♪

♪ Unrelentlessly upset... ♪

MONET DE HAAN: Oh, no. Blue
is for sending in a tip.

I didn't send that one. Let me see?

CAMILLE DE HAAN: Oh, that was me.

I did it from your account, remember?

Right.

JUDY O'BRIEN: (ON LAPTOP) Go
ahead and stare. I'm not ashamed.

Go on, laugh, get your money's worth.

You still looking at that?

You're right. There's
no use. It's too hard.

JUDY: ... so you can look
your fifty cents' worth.

Well, you can search by name.

JUDY: ... for the privilege
of staring at a girl

- the way your wives won't let you.
- Doesn't matter.

JUDY: What do you suppose
we think of you up here?

With your silly smirks your
mothers would be ashamed of.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

♪ All I did was try my best ♪
♪ This the kind of thanks I get? ♪

♪ Unrelentlessly upset ♪

♪ They say these are
the golden years ♪

♪ But I wish I could disappear ♪
♪ Ego crush is so severe ♪

♪ God, it's brutal out here ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Got a broken ego ♪
♪ Broken heart ♪

♪ God, I don't even know ♪

♪ Where to start ♪

(GRACE BYRON CHUCKLING SOFTLY)

Okay.

Well, I don't know about you all, but...

I think it's been a very
long and boring break

now that I'm no longer a demagogue.

I had a lovely visit with my
parents and their many cats.

Explains the sweater.

We knew this would happen
when we went nuclear.

Who'd wanna send in a tip

when they know that
we'll say who did it?

Phase two is ongoing,
on its own, without us.

I don't have palpitations when
I get my screen activity report,

and I'm finally able to sleep at night.

You think hashtag "Tip
Gate" made things better?

I watched Pippa Sykes try
and run over Bianca Breer

with a Lime scooter twice.

It's true. It's World War Teen.

How will kids be better to each
other without us policing them?

They have to learn to police
themselves for a change,

which is what they're supposed to do.

(SIGHS) It was a noble experiment,

and like most, it failed.

And we didn't get
arrested in the process.

Now, I have to get into the
city and get back to work.

Work?

We're on break.

I don't get multiple
alimony checks like you do.

Just marry people and
underreport your wages.

It's easy.

We didn't get our
holiday bonuses, remember?

The school that charges 90,000 a year

"needed the money" after the pandemic.

I had to take on an odd job.

I am back to an old
Barnard seasonal gig.

Returning and-or exchanging unwanted
Christmas gifts for rich people.

But hey, at least Constance
will have a new gym.

You have to share a room?

- Oh, my God.
- We have to be out by the middle of January,

farthest extension they'd give me.

I didn't have too many options.

But by the time you girls
get back from Hudson,

this will be home.

(NEIGHBORS ARGUING INDISTINCTLY)

- I know it's not ideal.
- Dad, it's fine, okay?

We're just grateful to be together.

Right?

Right, yeah. I mean... (SCOFFS)

Anywhere is better than Indiana.

Um, and this is what, like...

an hour away from school?

Yeah, plus or minus.

I can stay the weekend

and help you clean out the apartment.

Besides, Shan has been
blowing up my phone

- about New Year's Eve.
- No.

No, no, no, no. Hey.
You're coming with us.

New Year's is my favorite holiday,

and we go to Aki's dad's Hudson house
every year since we were 13.

It's the most quaint, wonderful weekend.

We just lay around,
eat food, play games,

and then we dress up for New Year's

just to party with each other.

- That sounds fun.
- Perfect.

Hey, we've, you know, already
spent the last ten days together.

- That was sister time.
- Okay.

This weekend's about friends.

Okay? And you are one.

Everyone wants you
there anyway, so, uh...

Right, Audrey? Audrey?

Of course. It's my dream.

- JULIEN CALLOWAY: Should we go measure the closet?
- (SIGHS)

- (TELEPHONE RINGING)
- GIDEON WOLFE: Hello?

Hi, Mr. Wolfe, I'm
so sorry to bother you

when you're in Wainscott.

I just, um, I haven't been
able to get a hold of Max

and I was just curious to
see if he'd be able to be

back in time to head to Hudson with us?

GIDEON: Max didn't come
to Wainscott, sweetheart.

He's at home.

Like home-home?

GIDEON: I take it Max didn't
tell you about the divorce?

Oh, my God, no.

No, he didn't. I'm...

I'm so sorry, Mr. Wolfe. I...

I gotta go.

Fuck.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS)

(DOOR OPENS)

- Hey, I'm sorry, I have to go.
- JULIEN: Wait. Where are you going?

- I'm so sorry about this.
- JULIEN: Bye.

ZOYA LOTT: I told you,
I'm thinking about it.

What is there to think
about? You can't actually want

to go upstate instead
of hanging with me.

Julien needs me, okay?

- She really needs my support.
- We've been over this.

You're always about what Julien needs.

We decided next year was
gonna be twenty-twenty-you.

Look. She's my sister, okay?

(SCOFFS) Technically.

But you've known each
other for what? Four months?

I've gone to school with
these guys for years.

Do you even know what
Cruella de Haan's parents are?

- What they do?
- What does that have to do with anything?

Shitty people make shitty babies.

There, I said it.

They are not your people!

Launch your new life the
right way, with me. (SIGHS)

Now, who do we want to
do our makeup for free?

- Bergdorf or Sephora?
- All you have to do is make yourself cry./

("BIG WHEEL" BY SAMIA PLAYING)

And all those tips you sent in about

which of my outfits were repeats

and which I had to pay full price for?

I was just trying to keep you
front of mind. Be mad at Luna.

She sent in actual
terrible stuff about Zoya.

LUNA LA: But honest.

Okay, it would've been worse not to.

Besides, a new year is dawning.

And now that Gossip Girl
has committed hara-kiri,

the airwaves are free and clear

for you to jam them again
with your supreme frequency.

It's time, JC.

- No one wants me, Mone.
- One person does.

Or did.

Okay, whatever, you have two options.

You can create a drama that no
one can take their eyes off of.

Exhibit A and A.

Break up your best friend's relationship

and run off with her man.

Aki's numbers have been going up

ever since he took down Isaiah Woodard.

He may be in love with
another man, and woman,

but I say yes to the mess.
Bonus points if it ends

with the three of you in bed together.

- MONET: Yeah.
- Or four.

I'm not doing that.

She's like my sister!

Let's not bring up Exhibit C, then.

(GASPS) Oh, my God. I'm
truly disgusted right now.

Yeah, we figured. Which
is why you're doing

Exhibit Bergmann instead.

Okay, Obie's over me. Again.

Oh, honey, he wanted
to be over you. A lot.

But you didn't let him.

Hudson's where you lost
your virginity to each other.

And since you haven't
slept with anyone since him,

you can do it all over again.

And I can hang in the adjoining room

and pretend the Nest caught
it on cam to get you viral.

- (CHUCKLES)
- You love him.

And he loves you.

We spent a year locked away

with our status quo still intact.

Of course everything's gonna change

the second we emerge.

But now, we're realizing
just how great things were.

Ben Affleck went back to a Jennifer.

- Things can be the way they were.
- (MUSIC CONTINUES)

♪ If he's somewhere getting smarter ♪

- ♪ On a free man's odyssey ♪
- (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

♪ God, I'm really gonna blow ♪

♪ With all this empathetic shit... ♪

- I get him back, you get me back?
- Yes.

Your new and improved IG is ready to go.

The first post, the
two of you at midnight,

lip-locked and loaded.

♪ I got bad news but I didn't fight ♪

LUNA: She went for it!

(DOOR OPENING)

This does not smell good in here.

No, no, no, no.

I distinctly told the
bouncer not to let you guys...

let you guys in. I
forgot we invited him in.

What's going on, Max?

- Are you on something?
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah, everything. And it's not working.

I am drugged up and I am
fucked out and I still feel it.

- Feel what?
- Both of you.

Both of you.

- (SIGHS)
- Just grab my hand. Stop. Stop.

You need to breathe right now.

- Take a deep breath.
- (INHALES SHARPLY)

Not too deep.

No, it's not working. It doesn't work.

Of course it doesn't
fucking work, breathing.

AUDREY HOPE: Your dad
told us about the divorce.

Oh, yeah?

Is that why you guys are here?

No, we're here because
we care about you, okay?

Well, uh, I'm fine.

And my parents' marriage has got
absolutely nothing to do with me.

So thank you guys for checking in.

You're coming to my dad's
for New Years, right?

No, absolutely not. No.

We go every year.

Well, you know what, things
are different this year.

AUDREY: They haven't
been. But they can be.

Yeah, we need to stop ignoring

how much we actually
care about each other.

No, stop! Stop, okay?

(GROANS) You fucking
guys, you don't get it.

Having sex with you, it
actually makes me feel bad

because I don't just want sex.

Neither do we!

Wh... (SIGHS)

AUDREY: Sorry, I didn't mean to yell.

We want the same thing.

We're all products of
a broken home, you know?

Not one of us knows what
a healthy relationship is.

Let alone one that's different.

AKI MENZIES: What about Audrey and I?

Aren't we healthy?

Sometimes.

But where do I fit in?

We do not have to have all
of the answers right now.

Let's just... let's go to Hudson.

And when we get there, we can
continue talking about this,

but right now, you need to
go find some pants and...

maybe take a long shower.
Because you need it. (CHUCKLES)

Fine. Fine. (GROANS)

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

We cannot push him.

We won't. We just...

need to remind him that we're
still best friends and...

show him how this might work.

I mean, how might it?

I don't know yet.

(ELEVATOR BEEPS)

- Jules? What are you, uh...
- Well, I still have my keycard,

and since you're not
answering any of my texts,

I thought I would surprise
you with some pre-New Year's.

- Yeah, it's just, I'm not, um...
- JULIEN: Alone?

Is your mom here? Or Heidi?

GRACE: Otto? Everything all right?

Yeah, uh, it's fine. It's just a friend.

- I'll just... I'll be up in a second.
- I'm so sorry.

I... (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

- OBIE BERGMANN: No, Jules, wait. Jules.
- I feel so stupid.

I, um, I was just...

wanting to make sure that
you're coming to Hudson.

- Oh.
- Or if that you were, um,

but you probably have other plans.

It's just that I've been, you know,

I've been seeing somebody,
uh, for the past couple weeks,

and we were just... we
were gonna do New Year's

- together here, so...
- Yeah, that's, um...

Wonderful! Truly, yeah.

It's just, I thought it'd be weird,

you know, to bring in a
girl I just started dating

to a party with my
ex-girlfriend and all that, so...

Exes. Because...

Zoya is gonna be there. (LAUGHS)

- Yeah.
- (CLICKS TONGUE)

You take care of yourself.

And, uh... Oh! I'll see you at school.

("TRUE SEEKERS" BY SLEIGH BELLS PLAYING)

(ELEVATOR DINGS)

♪ Everything ♪
♪ Everything's tempting ♪

♪ I've got my DNR ♪

♪ Drag my dress across the street... ♪

Her name is Grace Byron.

How did you...

Who is she?

Daughter of Charlotte Byron,

some Virginia state
senator or something.

Look, JC, I do owe you a Christmas gift,

and this one seems perfect.

What are you talking about?

LUNA: They've known each other ten days.

Taking that down is easier than

knocking out bowling
pins with gutter rails.

We invite her to Hudson,

Obie sees you side by side,
no comparison, end of story.

- I don't think...
- MONET: Nor should you.

That's why you have us.

Sure, he said no to your
invitation or whatever.

But when we invite the entire school

to our normally closed New Year's Party,

she'll convince him
that he just has to go,

because everyone else is.

And then when she comes,
you let us take care of Grace

with our usual grace.

They just started dating.

So we destroy it before
either are fully invested.

A win for all.

Oh, and it's also black-tie now.
Just to weed out the riffraff.

(SONG FADES)

("GOLDEN" BY ZELLA DAY PLAYING)

♪ Real love is the only way to start ♪

♪ Illuminate the shadows of my heart ♪

♪ The city is the only place to go ♪

♪ But we can take it
fast or take it slow ♪

♪ When we move across the floor ♪

♪ We are golden... ♪

ZOYA: This is the quaint weekend house?

I think I saw a basketball
court on the way in.

- (ALL CHUCKLE)
- That was a helipad.

Hi!

(SMOOCHES)

- AKI: How was the ride?
- LUNA: Long.

KENNETH: Your bath is stocked
with L'Objet bath salts

- as you like, Miss La.
- Thanks, Special K.

This is Kenneth. He's
the property manager.

If you need anything, just
reach out to him. He's your guy.

Happy to show you to your
room later, Miss Lott.

Thanks.

(MUSIC CONCLUDES)

Oh, you must be looking for me.

You're a teacher at my
daughter's school, aren't you?

Right. That's how we found you.

My assistant is away with
his family, of all things,

and unfortunately these
need to be exchanged

before the end of the year

for the Bouton d'or yellow gold.

They're already on hold,
but Marcello is having them cleaned,

so you'll have to return
the rose gold today

and go back in the
morning for the new ones.

Do not take the subway.

Do not take a car service.

You walk.

And as long as these are in your hands,

they're your responsibility.

If you lose them, you pay for them.

And you cannot pay for them.

Got it.

(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)

Obie! You came.

Everybody, this is Grace.

And I hope that I'm not making a
huge mistake introducing you to her.

Thank you so much for having me, Akeno.

- That's exactly how his mom says it.
- Oh, did I get it wrong?

No, that's how you're
supposed to say it.

Nice to meet you.

- I'm Monet.
- Luna.

ZOYA: Zoya.

- I'm J...
- GRACE: No introduction necessary.

I've been following you for years,

and half the products
on my face come from you.

And I know this is a
special weekend for y'all,

and I'm honored to be included.

No, it was imperative
that you come, actually.

No, please, make yourself comfortable.

Hi there, Grace. Hi,
Grace. Lovely to meet you.

- STAFF MEMBER: Hello.
- GRACE: Hi. How are you?

It's so nice to see you again, uh...

Rosa.

Rosa.

So, what did I miss? Who are you?

- It's Obie's friend.
- It's okay, you can say it.

- JULIEN: Girlfriend?
- Oh.

God, no. Not yet.

I was gonna say date.

(AKI CLEARS THROAT) Um...

- Obie, do you wanna give Grace the tour?
- Yeah, let's go.

When you invited Camilla to dinner,

I didn't think I was gonna have to

act like Princess
fucking Diana all weekend

with a fake smile plastered on my face.

So, forget bowling. This is tic-tac-toe.

He met her in the absence of you

and thought she was a star, right?

But next to you? She's bus and truck.

She won't make it past midnight.

Does anybody understand you?

Only the right people.

Look, at lunch, we'll get her talking.

Every single thing that she has to say

is a clue to what she
doesn't want us to know.

- Come on.
- Yeah. Go.

Do you wanna go on a walk with us?

Wake me up when there's food and booze.

(INQUISITIVE MUSIC PLAYING)

(SIGHS)

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

(HORSES NEIGH)

(MUSIC ENDS)

LUNA: Where are you?

Are you hiding from me?

- (ROB LAUGHS)
- Rob!

You're late.

Oh, I missed you, Lulu.

Prove it.

- ROB: Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

(GIGGLES)

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

- AUDREY: Ooh!
- MONET: Oh, my goodness.

Queen, what is this delight?

Oh, I just whipped up a little
something to start our meal.

I got that duck sausage that you like,

- so I thought...
- Beautiful.

(GRACE CLEARS THROAT)

(SIGHS)

Is that pasta from scratch?

Just pici, it's easier than you think.

No, she's being humble.

Literally everything
that she cooks is unreal.

- Oh, wait. I think we forgot to make the sangria.
- (CLEARS THROAT)

- What the hell. I'll do it.
- That's an emphatic yes from me.

I'll just text Kenneth
to bring the wine up.

No, Grace and I can go grab the wine.

I wanted to show her the cellar.

No!

I... Grace needs to show
us how to eat her pasta.

- Right.
- Z, can you grab the wine?

- Sure. It's, uh, where?
- The cellar.

So, go past the kitchen to the
door at the base of the stairs,

make a right, and then
continue down that hallway

until you see another stairway.
And that's where it is.

Okay. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

- As fast as possible.
- (CLEARS THROAT)

So, how'd you guys meet?

At Teterboro.

Were you going to Germany?

No, I, uh, I was...

He had no idea where he was going.

He was a mess. He walked into
our plane thinking it was his.

Once I sat down, I couldn't get up.

He admitted he had nowhere to go.

So I asked him if he could go anywhere,

anywhere in the world,
where would it be?

- And I said...
- Two years ago.

It just broke my heart.

Cause that's what we all want, right?

To go back before COVID,
before everything changed.

So I took him to Paris.

And then to Split. And then to Fez.

And then to Virginia for Christmas.

Taught him how to make biscuits
like my Meemaw taught me.

OBIE: And we played chess.

She destroyed me a few times, but...

He submitted each time with dignity,

which I found sexy.

- So you're competitive?
- GRACE: I guess.

A little.

Isn't everyone?

Look, I have literally
never seen her lose.

I mean, she has a wall of trophies

- for everything from jumping to judo.
- Great!

After lunch, games.

- (CHUCKLES)
- (GROANS) Where is that wine?

(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)

(CELL PHONE RINGS)

- Yeah?
- SHAN BARNES: Sorry,

I know you're basically at
the White Lotus or whatever,

but I had to update you.

Guess who we just met on the subway?

- Who?
- SHAN: Aziza fucking Barnes.

Seriously?

SHAN: You would've loved
them. They were so chill,

even invited us to a
poetry reading later.

And the best part?

Aziza said their friend
Jericho would be there.

- Jericho Brown?
- SHAN: Hey, girl!

What if I see him read
"Night Shift" live?

I'll expire.

Shit!

SHAN: Where'd you go?

What the hell?

I think I'm actually in the
house of a Tarantino villain.

SHAN: Do you need to be rescued?
We should've made a code word.

I just might. I'll let you know.

I'll call you back later.

Where the fuck am I?

(MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY)

(BANGING)

ZOYA: Shit! Are you kidding me?

(GROANS)

Fucking kidding me?

- OBIE: I think it's your turn.
- MONET: Yeah, I think it's Grace's turn.

- AKI: She knows it's her turn.
- Oh, God.

- Mmm...
- Mm-mm.

- Oh, my God. I did it. I did it.
- (LAUGHS)

- Okay, okay.
- Yes!

- Decent.
- My turn.

- Julien.
- (SIGHS)

- No.
- Okay.

- AUDREY: No, no, no.
- Audrey!

- (AUDREY CHUCKLES)
- Just let her pick one.

- Okay, fine. Okay.
- OBIE: That's the game.

- Okay.
- AUDREY: Careful.

- (ALL GROAN)
- I knew that was gonna happen!

Zoya! What are you doing out there?

(SIGHS) I mean, seriously, guys.

Are you fucking kidding?
I was calling all of you.

I'm so sorry. I got
lost at Mar-a-Lago once.

Not the place you
wanna open random doors,

I will tell you that.

We're gonna play feminist Taboo.

Come, join.

Hey, make sure Grace loses.

JULIEN: Grace! Be my partner.

- GRACE: Oh, sure.
- Jules?

Obes, you're mine.

I think we should split up.

I only play emotional games.

Sorry, Z, but you're on your own.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

- Hey, Maxie.
- Mm, hey.

- Farmer Rob?
- Mm-hmm.

You usually seem happier
after you've seen him.

- This time was different.
- MAX WOLFE: Why? What happened?

- He's moving.
- Oh, no.

- LUNA: To the city.
- Oh, no.

It's some grand romantic gesture.

He even applied for an internship

at the Bronx Zoo and everything.

Well, you know, it could be fun.

You finally get to
center your side piece.

You like him, don't you?

I like him up here.

Down there... I'm not so sure.

What about you?

You seem a bit more centered yourself.

No. No, no, no, no. Try in the middle.

And it is not my favorite position.

LUNA: Sounds like we both
have decisions to make.

Oh, no. You have a decision to make.

- I'm removing myself.
- Too bad it's an hour away.

Ah. And just canceled.

Oh, fu... Damn.

- JULIEN: Smash the...
- Patriarchy.

- Yes!
- Nice.

- Out. You can't say "smash."
- Aw.

It's okay. Next time.

(AUDREY AND AKI TALKING QUIETLY)

- Okay, you ready? All right.
- Let's do it. Yep.

You met her at that place you hate.

Zadie Smith.

Obie's godmother.

- (SIGHS) Angela Merkel.
- (ALL CHUCKLE)

AKI: You're not supposed
to like it, but you do.

- Thigh gap? Of course.
- JULIEN: Audrey...

I'm not supposed to like it, but I do.

- MAX: Digital penetration.
- ZOYA: What?

Uh, it was Woody Allen films.

- Hey, Kenneth!
- (ALL CHEERING)

- AUDREY: For the guest.
- Oh, none for me.

Tequila is not my friend.

Bit of a lightweight.

Obie and I forfeit.
It's you two for the win.

Uh, okay?

Then I guess it's your turn, babe.

- Okay.
- AUDREY: I love winning.

- You ready?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay, um, famous female artist. Unibrow.

- AKI: This is easy.
- JULIEN: Uh...

GRACE: Uh, Latina? Married
to... No, I can't say that. Um...

- AUDREY: Julien?
- AKI: Are you serious?

Was in a bus accident once?

- Uh, what?
- AKI: She serious?

- Oh! Salma Hayek.
- MONET: Oh, yeah.

- GRACE: Okay, well, she...
- Time. Um, Audrey and Aki win.

- OBIE: No.
- Yes! No surprises.

I'm so sorry.

We just have to get to
know each other better.

Get them next time, partner?

Yeah.

Fucking Grace!

Did you see the way he looks at her?

I mean, I get it, I wanna date her too.

This was... This was a huge mistake.

I can't compete against
American royalty.

No, we did dynasties, not monarchies,

and I mean my tense there.

Look, sure, the Byrons are old money,

but old money is
yesterday's currency, okay?

You are Julien fucking Calloway.

Even when your dad was
public enemy number one,

Balenciaga still sent you samples.

Grace Whatever has never
even seen a runway show.

She's catalogue only. Full Draper James.

And you think you can't top that?

You know what? You're right.

'Cause she's not even
on the same mountain.

And more importantly,

- Miss Congeniality is a mean drunk.
- Can I fucking help you?

- That's why she said no downstairs.
- What the fuck was that for?

- Don't fucking film me!
- (GASPS) Oh, my God.

- How did you find this?
- Do you know who I am?

You've gotta stop asking me that.

Great. Now we know what
tonight's entertainment will be.

We'll get her drunk and
we'll get the cameras rolling.

Don't worry, JC. We'll
leave you out of it.

Let us mean girls turn
her into a mean girl.

This shit'll be stitched from
now until St. Paddy's Day.

And Obie will be yours before
the countdown even begins.

Hey, you wanna not watch a movie?

You guys, you gotta stop doing this.

- Does he know we mean sex?
- Yes, he knows we mean sex.

MAX: I want you to
stop meaning anything.

The sitting next to me,
the staring at me longingly,

the cornering me, the
centering me. I mean,

I'm not some object.

Okay? I'm flesh and blood.

How am I even saying these things?

You are not an object, Max.

Nothing has ever felt

more right, more natural, more organic

than when we're together.

No! No. You... you're together.

You don't get it. I...
I'm extra. You know?

And you can't see that from the inside,

but I'm out here and it's
scary and it feels unsafe and...

You know what?

(KNOCKING)

NICK LOTT: What are you doing here?

I'm just passing through.

NICK: I didn't ask you in.

Last I heard, you don't own this place.

That's a bad joke, I'm sorry.

You're not really someone
who should be joking about...

about anything.

I just wanted to stop by and
say how grateful I am to you.

I would never have imagined
things working out like this.

You...

taking in my daughter.

I'm happy to have done it.

Where are you moving?

Look, I already told your lawyers.

I wanna help.

I think we got it.

I wanna help you stay.

(QUIET MUSIC PLAYING)

Julien is my daughter.

And not only do I love her,

but I am still responsible for her.

They haven't taken that away from me.

This might be the only way
I can still take care of her.

You'll have to find another way.

Thanks. But we're good.

(MUSIC FADES)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

("WILD HEART" BY STEVIE NICKS PLAYING)

- Oh, my God! How cute is this?
- Right?

Am I weird that I kind
of like the smell of bars?

No, not at all.

Well, then you'll love this place.

We come every year.
Ironically, of course.

- Uh, do you want a drink?
- Uh, just a Diet Coke, please.

No, no, don't worry.

Grace has a soft spot for normal people.

So we'll use her politeness against her.

She won't be able to resist
if locals and bar staff

keep offering her drinks, right?

And luckily, my friend
basically works here.

What can I get you?

Patron, please, papi.

(GLASS CLINKS)

Um, none for me. I can't do shots.

Oh, Grace, it would be
rude to refuse, right?

- One won't kill you.
- (CHUCKLES)

Okay. One.

Yes! Okay. Whoo! To new friends.

- (ALL CHEERING)
- (MUSIC CONTINUES)

♪ I will not forget this night... ♪

(LAUGHS)

A, uh, rye Manhattan.
Templeton, if possible.

How about a Jack and Coke?

Make it a double and we're good.

Was wondering if we'd see you this year.

Oh, yeah, it's tradition.

Warms our heart to see
such consistent young love.

You two are the cutest
couple I've ever seen.

That's what I keep telling them.

♪ Don't blame it on me ♪

♪ Blame it on my wild heart... ♪

Well, what's the verdict?

Still in deliberations.

- Hmm.
- You?

- Nothing to decide.
- That's not true, boo.

- And if you want my advice...
- Did I ask?

It's like the first day at the pool.

You just gotta jump in.

When I first met Rob, do you
remember what you told me?

(CHUCKLES) That if you didn't
sit on it, then I would?

(LAUGHS) To not be
afraid of what could be.

I disclosed right away and found out.

And "what could be" has
been for a few fun years now.

And who are you to ever
miss out on fun, huh?

- (CHUCKLES)
- Jump.

♪ In dark sorrow they gaze down ♪

♪ Into the darkest heart ♪

- ♪ If I leave you... ♪
- There's something that you make that I love,

but I can't remember what it is.

Two White Russians please, Gerta.

Yes, that's right. (GIGGLES)

OBIE: Yeah.

♪ You say you don't even know... ♪

Look, I just wanna say,

thank you for being so nice to Grace.

You know, I mean, I was...

I was worried that it
might be too much too soon,

but... I don't know,

I don't know why I was worried
at all, she fits right in.

Yeah, she does.

(CHUCKLES)

Come on. Just one more, come on.

Uh... Okay, but then that is it.

Oh, my God, you are so fun.

Okay. Can we have two more, please?

GRACE: God, it...

it feels good to let loose. I
haven't since Japan last year,

and that was a little too much fun,

- if you know what I mean.
- I do.

I just have to be on my best behavior

'cause my mom, you
know, eyes everywhere,

reporters always trying
to get you at your worst.

You do not have to worry
about any of that with us.

I mean, Aki's dad owns the media.

How do you think we've been
drinking here since middle school?

You can do anything you want,

and it won't ever be a thing, I promise.

Let's party like it's
Golden Gai, huh? Come on.

- (EXHALES)
- Whoo!

Cheers.

Should I go see if the bouncer has coke?

Oh, the bouncer has coke.

- I made sure of it.
- (BOTH LAUGH)

I've had a shit day.

- (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)
- Oh, sorry, I didn't even...

I made 20 dollars an hour

returning clothes, shoes, and jewelry

worth more than a decade of my salary

for people whose staff
have the holidays off.

At one point, I calculated

I was walking around with
200,000 dollars worth of things.

And I got some tips, but
that doesn't really make up

for the scolding I also received.

Like, this one lady said she'd ruin me

because the place she sent me
to only offered store credit

in exchange for a 9,000-dollar coat

she wore once and returned.

I can't keep Zoya in Constance

and also pay for a comfortable rental,

even in Queens.

I'm trying to figure out how to, but...

Davis offered to buy this place...

so that we could stay.

Along with a good chunk of
money to take care of Julien.

You're gonna say no, right?

I don't know.

But he promised to
stay out of our lives.

Said that that's the last
thing he would do for Julien.

Honestly...

would you take the money?

It's never just about the money,

and it would never be the last thing.

I mean, you take his money,

you're in his pocket
forever, you know that.

People like Davis use
money to control us.

Your morals are a lot
more valuable, I think.

If you take his money, you're
giving those away, right?

And you never compromise your morals?

I sure have. (CHUCKLES)

And, uh, I'll probably pay for it

in the future, most likely,

but you've lived a life
where you haven't had to,

so why start now?

It might be hard to figure out
how you'll do it all yourself,

but I know you.

You'll find a way.

I really needed to hear
somebody else say that.

Thank you.

- (CHUCKLES)
- (GLASSES CLINK)

So, I've been thinking
about what you said...

about moving to New York,

and if you're serious about that...

and you're serious about me...

- you know...
- Yeah.

Fuck, yes, Lulubelle. Yeah.

(GIGGLES)

Yeah, yeah, I'd love to.

Um... (CLEARS THROAT)

I'm gonna go put our song on the jukebox

and go buy everybody a round.

We don't have a song.

Sure we do.

Yeah, I think it works, but, um...

how do we pitch it?

I think we just have
to have fun together.

Get him to stop thinking
and start feeling.

AKI: But he'll never go
for this. He's afraid of us.

AUDREY: Let's make him
remember why he likes us.

How?

("SOMETHING JUST LIKE THIS" BY
THE CHAINSMOKERS & COLDPLAY PLAYS)

Oh, God, this song. Come on.

- What?
- He loves cheese, remember?

- ♪ Been reading books of old ♪
- Don't lie, you love this.

♪ The legends and the myths
Achilles and his gold ♪

AUDREY: Come on, Max. Dance with us.

♪ Hercules and his gifts ♪

I told you this wouldn't work.

AUDREY: Just give it a second.

♪ Batman with his fists ♪

Okay. (GIGGLES)

♪ And clearly I don't see
myself upon that list ♪

♪ But she said where do you wanna go? ♪

AKI: Don't fight it. We
know you love this shit.

♪ I'm not looking for somebody
with some superhuman gifts ♪

- AUDREY: (LAUGHS) Come on!
- ♪ Some superhero, some fairytale bliss ♪

MAX: (GROANS) This fucking song.

(SINGING ALONG) ♪ Just
something I can turn to ♪

♪ Somebody I can kiss ♪

♪ I want something just like this ♪

(SINGING ALONG) ♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo ♪

(CHUCKLES)

♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪
♪ Doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ I want something just like this ♪

(WHOOPING AND CHEERING)

(AUDREY LAUGHING)

♪ I want something just like this ♪

Hey!

(LAUGHING)

♪ I want something just like this ♪

(MUSIC FADES)

AUDREY: This can work, Max.

AKI: Uh, yeah, uh, we
have a plan, actually.

Um, you and Audrey can hang
out from Monday to Wednesday,

and you and I can hang out
from Thursday to Saturday.

Yeah, and we all spend Sunday together.

(CLEARS THROAT)

- MAX: You're serious?
- AUDREY: We are.

- AKI: Yes, we are.
- Wow.

- Come on.
- Grace, I just... No, I don't...

Don't you wanna kiss me?

- No, no.
- Kiss me!

No, I... I don't think
that's a good idea.

It's okay. Oh, um, just...

- ("SHALLOW" BY BRADLEY COOPER & LADY GAGA PLAYING)
- This my part.

(SINGING OFF-KEY) ♪ Something, boy ♪

♪ Aren't you tired trying
to fill that void? ♪

♪ Or do you need more? ♪

Do you... do you want
to just give me the mic?

(GRACE GIGGLES)

♪ Ain't it hard keepin'
it so hardcore? ♪

Just give me the mic?
Just give me the mic.

You wanna sing? Yes!
Yes. (LOUDLY) Everyone...

- No, I... Jesus.
- Julien's going to sing!

JULIEN: No, I'm not gonna sing.

She's beautiful, I love her.

She's the Bradley to my Cooper.

My parents, they're about to pass me

back and forth like a
dessert that they're sharing.

And you guys, you
wanna do the same thing?

Do you even... Do you even
care what's on the line for me?

If it doesn't work out,
if someone gets jealous?

Or you two, you just get tired
of the extra... extra effort.

Then I'm the expendable one.

No. I'm done having this conversation.

Just leave me alone and let me go.

♪ In the sha-la sha-ha-llow... ♪

JULIEN: Maybe we can
go get some fresh air?

Do you think that I should intervene?

I don't need air, I need tequila.

No, you definitely don't.

- GRACE: ♪ In the sha-ha... ♪
- Thank you.

Don't you think she's had enough?

You're probably right.

She's already far exceeded expectation.

Oh, why do you think she's here, Zoya?

So that Obie can see her
mess and get back with Julien.

And then JC can go back to the
way things were before Gossip Girl.

Hmm?

(VOCALIZING)

Everyone sing!

(CROWD LAUGHING AND SINGING)

I need to tell you a secret.

Okay. Okay.

I thought I had to compete
with you, but I didn't.

You're losing to yourself.

Give me the mic!

Hey! Why are you being
like this? Be fun.

- Grace!
- Be fun, bitch.

Grace, I think it's
time that we go, okay?

- GRACE: Really?
- Yes.

Now you're on her side?

Fucking Yankees. All the same.

And you know what, Julien?

You suck at games!

- We gotta get her out of here.
- OBIE: I'm trying.

Oh, my God, you guys. It's the...

It's the door guy who sold me drugs.

- It's time to go.
- Do you know that's a federal crime?

- Grace, stop!
- BOUNCER: Give me the mic.

- You... you want the mic?
- JULIEN: Grace.

- OBIE: Grace.
- GRACE: You want the mic?

Mic drop!

- (GASPS) Oh, my God!
- (MICROPHONE SQUEALS)

OBIE: Grace. Okay, that's it. Come down.

- Oh, my God.
- GRACE: No.

- Oh, my God.
- GRACE: No. Help me.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

Hmm, I wonder where Grace is?

Blanche DuBlah's probably
sleeping off her shame spiral,

which is what I'm trying to
do, but you keep on talking.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Okay. So listen.

First off, we wanna
say we're really sorry.

We... We feel terrible.

We should've never
spoken to you that way,

and you're not expendable to us, Max.

But you're right.

We've been together for a long time,

and we understand that

you may feel that you have more to lose.

So here's our proposal.

We wanna date you.

Together.

Equals, the three of us.

A triad.

Which is not... It's
not a throuple, okay?

It's a real relationship.

It's based on the fact that
all three sides of a triangle are equal.

What that means is that...

well, if being together
like that doesn't work

for all three of us, then it
doesn't work for any of us.

We break up.

Her and me.

You and us and...

Honestly, all or nothing.

If you're in, we're in.

But if not, no worries.

It's not an ultimatum.

But we just don't work without you.

And we don't want to. That's what's fun.

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

ZOYA: Hey!

I thought you might need these.

But you seem way ahead of me.

I don't remember much of last night,

but it must be bad.

I woke up on the bathroom floor,

and I haven't seen
Obie once this morning.

I'm afraid to even open my phone.

No, it... it wasn't that bad.

You're sweet. But I'm
a politician's kid.

I can smell spin.

Well, listen, this is just a hazing.

They do it to everybody new.

I mean, take it from
me. Julien's my sister,

and you wouldn't believe
what they've tried.

(CHUCKLES) But I'm still here.

I'd rather leave with the
last shred of dignity I have.

If you leave right now,
you're just letting them win.

And I can tell Obie is really into you.

You think staying is winning?

Just makes them think it was all okay.

I gotta go.

You, Aud, and Ak looked great
on the dance floor last night.

Hmm. So did you and Pabst Blue Robert.

Hmm.

BOTH: Three, two, one.

Will I be leaving with a
gift or just extra baggage?

Can I stay whole if I
agree to become a third?

Hey, are you okay?

Grace left.

Oh.

Hey. Come here.

I know that I've been
distracted this weekend

and it hasn't been
exactly what I promised,

but I wanted to thank you
for being here in support.

It has been so hard to be
here with Grace and Obie.

But now that she's gone,

we can just have a peaceful New Year's,

no outsiders or...

I don't support what you did.

And I'm also an outsider here,

no matter how much you wanna
pretend that that isn't true.

Why did you lie to me about

what this weekend was really about?

- (STUTTERS)
- The getting rid of Grace stuff?

Really?

It wasn't about that. Not originally.

Things got out of hand, but...

This... this weekend is about friends.

You keep saying that, but
is this how friends act?

Look...

I know you want things to
go back to the way they were,

but I really wish you didn't,

because they were awful
for anyone that wasn't you.

And I'm not your
friend, I'm your sister.

And as your sister, I'm telling you,

now is your only chance

to do something you've
never done before.

Be a gracious loser, okay?

Stop fighting for everything,

and just be the bigger
person and let it go!

Holding yourself accountable

instead of letting Gossip Girl
and the rest of the world do it

could be the best thing
to ever happen to you.

(SIGHS)

Oh. And, um, here is my invoice.

I also take, uh, Cash App
or Venmo, if that's easier.

Why is there a cab receipt here?

You specifically told me not to
take the subway or a rideshare.

Are you seriously trying to
nickel and dime me right now?

The cost of the cab is
like an hour of my time.

I don't see how it's my
problem you don't listen.

Implicit to running errands for someone

is doing what they ask you to do.

And part of running
errands for people is that

I was denied my end-of-year bonus

because the board, made
up entirely of parents,

including you, decided that that money

would be better served
going to a new gym.

So here I am returning
30,000-dollar earrings for you,

and you seriously want to
argue about a 15-dollar cab?

You think you deserved
a bonus this year?

You all complained about
teaching during COVID,

so the school didn't reopen.

Do you know how hard it
was on us working parents?

We didn't wanna risk our lives...

Then, you all allowed Gossip Girl

to taunt and torment
them upon their return.

Not only did you do nothing about it,

but some of you even
sent in tips yourselves.

Tips on kids you were in charge of.

If I could fire each and
every one of you, I would.

So you being cheap was punitive?

That's the thing with you people,

you think you're entitled
to something you didn't earn.

- Who people?
- Middle-class white girls

who don't stand out, so they
claim some kind of victimhood.

Push others to spread the wealth
they themselves can't earn.

I pay 40% in taxes so you don't have to.

I trickle down so that you can
teach in a safe environment,

eating cafeteria food
cooked by Michelin chefs,

all while teaching the
future lawmakers of America.

You're glorified babysitters

whose names will be hard
to recollect in five years,

whereas the names of the
kids you purport to teach

will never be forgotten.

It is a privilege

to work at Constance.

And the board...

felt you all needed
to be reminded of that.

Thank you, Mrs. de Haan.

(SIGHS)

For reminding me why I do what I do.

(SOFT MUSIC PLAYING)

Hey.

Have a second?

I'm still trying to get her.

That's what I wanted to
talk to you about, actually.

Um, a... apologize, really,
which I know I do a lot.

OBIE: It's not your fault.

It is.

I'm the reason she's gone.

What did you do?

Everything.

Obie, I love you.

It never stopped for me.

But you were willing to ditch me
for my sister in, like, a week.

And then, now, for this person
that you've known ten days.

I just wanted to show you
that you don't really know her.

The only person you know is me.

I do know you.

And that's the problem.

I mean, I've known you
so well for so long,

I've never had room...

to know myself.

And now, that's all I want. I...

I mean, Grace is open with me.

She told me about her past.
Last night is not a surprise.

Okay? Just like it's not a surprise

that you're behind it.

- Yeah, because I love you.
- But it's not about you.

Jules, it's not.

And it's not about Grace.

It's not about my parents.
It's not about anybody.

It's about me. For once, me.

Having a chance to learn who I am.

Okay, just...

Just let me go.

Please.

(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)

I just had the most incredible,

infuriating, igniting thing happen.

(EXHALES SHARPLY) Oh,
my God. Breathing, right.

What happened?

I just told Camille de Haan off.

And she came back at me with the most

insane, irrelevant
conservative bullshit.

Wait. Are you unpacking?

Good news. We're staying.

Did you pick up a new case?

(CLICKS TONGUE)

You took his offer.

Had to do what's best for the girls.

Plus, I can continue taking
pro bono cases this way.

I could actually do
more for the community.

How noble.

I have to be a dad first.

Yes, you do.

And Zoya deserves a dad

who lives by an example
he'd want her to follow.

Oh, my God. We're all
just for sale, aren't we?

You're so righteous, Kate.

How's that working out for you?

'Cause you seem pretty
judgmental for someone

who's never gotten a thing they want.

I wonder why?

Okay. Wow. We're going there?

NICK: None of this is easy.

None of this is right. It's just...

It's where I am right now.

So I can yell and
scream about what I want,

or I can do the hard thing so
my daughter doesn't have to.

Have you ever done that?

Just... something for a greater good?

'Cause until you do,

maybe just leave me the fuck alone.

("GOOD ONES" BY CHARLI XCX PLAYING)

♪ I wish you gave me a reason ♪

♪ That you were better at leavin' ♪

♪ That you got your
kicks from seeing me low ♪

♪ I always let the good ones go ♪

♪ And baby, you couldn't
have loved me any better ♪

- ♪ But doing this is... ♪
- Max is gone. He's not in his room.

Well, I guess that's our answer then.

♪ I always let the good ones go ♪

No, it's not.

You both look divine.

As do you.

MAX: Um...

I've never been in a relationship.

I... Not only do I not
know how one works, I...

I don't know how I might be in one.

But if you're willing
to take a risk on me,

I'm willing to take a risk on you.

One for all or none for none, right?

That's a pact?

That's a pact.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

♪ I let the good ones go ♪

♪ I let the good ones ♪

♪ Let you down easy I'm trying ♪

♪ 'Cause you're everything ♪

- ♪ I've spent my whole life fighting... ♪
- So... (CLEARS THROAT)

Are there parties like
this every week in the city?

Because I...

I took this suit from
Mr. Menzies' closet.

- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
- You look great.

But you may not wanna stay
after I say what I have to say.

I'm flattered you wanna
spend more time with me.

But I'm not looking for
more right now, from anyone.

But if I was, if I do,
you'll be the first to know.

Maybe.

I get it. I mean, we
were each other's escape.

And if I go there, that goes away.

But maybe you could come upstate
more than just once a year?

I'd like that.

You know what else I'd like?

(WHISPERS)

- ♪ I let the good ones go ♪
- ♪ But doin' this is ♪

♪ All that I've known ♪
♪ Ever, ever, ever ♪

♪ I let the good ones go ♪

(CHEERING)

What's going on?

I owe you both an apology.

This has been an insane last few months,

and I've taken you for
granted more than once.

You are my people. And I
don't always deserve you,

and you definitely don't
deserve how I've treated you.

I keep promising that I'll do better,

but first chance I get to
take something for myself,

I grab it.

What I did with Grace
was pathetic and selfish.

I called her and told her everything.

She's gonna meet you at your house.

Go upstairs and pack, I got you a car.

Hey, this is the right place, right?

Yes. Go make yourself at home.

Come on, everybody.

Now remember, one of
you gets me at midnight,

and the other one gets to
go to the station alone.

What's going on?

Julien? Why are all these people here?

I invited them.

I invited the entire town.

Like you said, it should
be open to everyone.

- There's my big sister.
- (JULIEN LAUGHS)

Thank you, Julien. Mwah.

I'm not done yet.

What, you're kicking me out, too?

(CAR HONKS)

Tarantino, bitch!

(LAUGHS)

You were right.

You can be my sister and not my friend.

In fact, I'm glad that I have a sister

to keep me honest and
remind me about who I am.

Or at least, who I can be.

Thank you, Z. You should
be with your friends.

(JULIEN CHUCKLES)

Okay, bye.

- ZOYA: Tarantino! Whoo!
- (SHAN WHOOPING)

Get in the back. Get in the back.

Oh, my God!

Julien ruins everything.
Why did it have to be her?

Anyone could have been it, even me.

You two, upstairs, I need to think.

And you're going to keep me focused.

Go.

("INTROVERT" BY LITTLE SIMZ PLAYING)

JULIEN: Greetings, Gossip Girl.

You may have abandoned
us, but I can't forget you.

And I don't want to.

You were the worst thing
that ever happened to me,

but you also changed me.

And you can't leave yet.

You're not done.

A tip, though,

from one influencer to another,

you were too nice.

You cared too much.

That's not how this is supposed to go.

If you really wanna get us,
you have to make us worry.

You have to make us squirm.

♪ The kingdom's on fire ♪
♪ The blood of a young messiah ♪

♪ I see sinners in a church ♪
♪ I see sinners in a church ♪

♪ Sometimes I might be introvert ♪
♪ There's a war inside ♪

♪ I hear battle cries ♪
♪ Mothers burying sons ♪

♪ Young boys playing with guns ♪

♪ The devil's a liar ♪
♪ Fulfill your wildest desires ♪

♪ Now, I don't wanna be
the one to doctor this ♪

♪ But if you can't feel pain ♪

♪ Then you can't feel the opposite ♪

♪ Find a way I'll find a way... ♪

JULIEN: You started with me,

so it only makes sense
that you restart with me.

I'm going to send you
everything you never knew

about everyone I know.

But there's a catch.

Not all of it will be true,

and you're not gonna
know the difference.

No more kindness. It's time for chaos.

That's the only way
you change the world.

You take the gloves off.

This deal has one condition.

While you go hard till
there's nothing left,

I make it my mission to stop
you before you ruin us all.

Mutually assured destruction,
from one bitch to another.

♪ And so it begins... ♪

JULIEN: You know I hate
you, but I know you love me.

XOXO.

You have till midnight.

♪ Your introversion led you here ♪

♪ Intuition protected
you along the way ♪

- _
- ♪ Feelings allowed you to be well balanced ♪

- _
- ♪ And perspective gave you foresight ♪

(CELL PHONE CHIMES)

♪ The top of the mountain is
nothing without the climb ♪

♪ Only the strong will survive ♪
♪ Only the strong will survive ♪

Is this your house?

Who are you?

I'm Julien fucking Calloway.

- (NOTIFICATIONS CHIME)
- (VOICES OVERLAPPING)

♪ Alone, but not lonely ♪

♪ Your truth unveils with time ♪

(INDISTINCT OVERLAPPING CHATTER)

♪ As you embark on a journey
of what it takes to be a woman ♪

GOSSIP GIRL: Hey there. Did you miss me?

You know I've missed you.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -